Tag Archives: Personal Development

Communicating, Focus, Giving Unconditionally, Go First

You Can Use A Loss Leader Because It Works!

January 17, 2017 rexsikes Leave a comment

“At times the best strategy is the loss leader. You lose now to win later. You give something away to get more in return. Trade shows, Chamber meetings, often provide treats at no cost or they give a free gift away which attracts you to their booth or to a consultation.

The loss leader is used to entice people to drop in. If you take their free candy most likely you will feel that you should stop and listen at least a moment. Yes, some people take a handful but keep going. Most succumb to the Law Of Reciprocity. You give they give back.

Candy is not a promotional item one gets in a swag bag. Those are branded items they hope you will keep, or pass along. They bank on you giving them some business or referrals in the future. Reciprocity at work again. The candy is to get people to stop and stick around.

Only By Giving You Will Attract More Than You Already Have

Companies are willing to give items away for free, at a loss, because it’s likely to increase their business down the road. It’s an investment that follows the rule of Go First. Give it away first and people will give back in return later. If it didn’t work no one would use it!

Within these blog pages, many times, I have referred to the Rule of Going First and The Law Of Reciprocity because when you give unconditionally to others they can respond in kind. Will everyone? No, but many or most will. Ignore the ones who don’t. Really, let it go.

Focus on what you want and who you want;the type of client or friend. If you want honest, loyal, trustworthy people who believe in you be that person to them first. Be that kind of client or provider or friend. Focus on what you want to create and attract. Then attract it.

Givers Advance The World – Takers Don’t Advance Others

Birds of a feather flock together. The ones who don’t will fall by the wayside. That is fine. You still operate from a higher purpose or cause. You operate from a giving position. Give to give, not to get! It is the result of authentic, genuine giving that brings back the return.

Don’t focus on getting back. Focus on providing value. Focus on giving freely. Focus on being trustworthy. Focus on being loyal and honest. Focus on believing in the people you attract. When you’re pure of heart others will read that and respond. They really will!

Those who don’t, let go. This is how you create an incredible supportive tribe. Focus on the kind of tribe members you want and give to them first. The ones you want show up. The ones you don’t want let go of. Get it? Create and attract the good that you want!

Giving Liberates The Giver – Giving Creates More Freedom

If you genuinely love people and appreciate them they will know. You will get known for being that sort of person. If their interests are in your heart they will know and respond. The more grateful you are for the people around you the more grateful they will be too.

Your relationships will blossom and improve because of your focus and ability to give generously without strings attached. Delight in the opportunity to give, to serve, to go the extra mile, and you may attract dedicated raving fans and tribe members. So enjoy the process. Be sure to celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a tremendous day!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch

Acceptance, Communicating, Friendship, Opportunity

Strangers And What To Do About Them

January 16, 2017 rexsikes Leave a comment

“Do you have all the friends you want or need? Would you like to have more? There is a saying, ‘be the change you want to see in the world.’ I think the same applies to friendship. Be the friend you want to have first and you will win others over to you. Get it? I hope so.

Let’s reach out and become friends with people we wouldn’t think to. I sat in a mall one day 30 years again and it struck me. Given the proper circumstance and introduction anyone of these strangers passing by might become a friend. That’s really all it takes.

It struck me like a lightning bolt. A stranger is a friend you haven’t met yet. We pass people by and don’t realize in another situation, given the proper introduction, that person, you pass by, right now, might become your very best friend. I mean, think about that!

There Are No Strangers Here Only A Friend You Haven’t Met Yet

Perhaps, we should just be a little nicer and kinder to people who we don’t know yet. Maybe would should take the opportunity to simply smile, say hello, nod, or chat a bit. Genuinely listen to others and become interested. Don’t be a pest but be warmer to people.

Celebrate this world and everyone in it. Unite, come together instead of sewing discord. People around the world are actually much more similar than they are different regardless of any background. After all, they’re all people. Different, but the same!

Celebrate, unite, draw close. Connect, get to know. Rid yourself of fearing people you don’t know. Stop assuming they won’t like you. Start by assuming you possibly have some things in common. Start enjoying others more. Help them out. Allow others to help you.

A Simple Friendly Hello Could Lead To A Million Positive Things

Don’t be overbearing either. Give people space to be themselves. Give people space to just have space for both of you. Be authentic. Don’t assume the negative, be positive. Leave people be if they prefer to be left alone. Don’t stalk them either!

Appreciate people more and allow them in. If it makes you feel safe keep up the invisible walls you use to protect yourself but peer over them or through them. Welcome the world to you. Invite others to get to know you. Be grateful for all and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Meet someone new today!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch

Acceptance, Communicating, Friendship, Relationships

You Must Know This: You Are An Individual But You Aren’t The Only Individual!

January 15, 2017 rexsikes 2 Comments

“Hitler’s strategy was divide and conquer. Fortunately, he did not prevail but his method very nearly wrecked civilization as we know it. Allegedly, this country was brought together in the spirit of co-operation and an ‘all for one and one for all’ spirit. We united.

Today, we are constantly being divided into self interest groups of one. We are individually targeted and marketed to. We no longer have network television where we all watch ‘Gunsmoke’ on Sunday nights (for 20 years) and then talk at the water cooler the next day.

We are splintered and fragmented. Instead of uniting for the common good it seems our representatives fight over what they want with little regard for the people they represent. Protests are more difficult to wage today then they were 30 or 60 years ago.

Without A Sense Of Caring There Is No Sense Of Community

We walk around with our faces in our cell phones. We no longer call a place to reach who is there we call an individual. Most all of us have cell phones. What is my point in this? Is it political? No, we could discuss politics but my point is we are separated, alone, and isolated.

We are brought together by the internet. Social media connects us. Twitter and Facebook and the rest are how we interact. We get our news and entertainment from questionable sources much of the time. It gets harder and harder to unite people for causes.

Oh, it is not over. There still are some but we are less of a community in everyday life. We no longer sit around the family room together watching TV, listening to the radio, telling stories or singing songs. We telecommute or work from home in many cases. Computers!

A Community That Excludes Even One Member Is No Community

We aren’t involved with each other the way we once we. We don’t know our neighbors, our community. John Donne coined, ‘No man is an island’ yet it seems more of us are becoming that. I question at times if that isn’t the great plan. Another form of divide and control.

BUT I said this wasn’t about politics and it isn’t. It is about co-operation. It is about teamwork. It is about the spirit of helping each other, lifting each other up, encouraging each other to move forward and stimulating and enjoying the success of those around us.

We don’t need to compete each other to death. A little competition is good to stimulate. Games are good. It encourages people to excel. However, we need not compete and destroy. We need to compete and grow stronger together. We need to make things better.

Support Each Other And Incredible Things Can Happen

We need to share what we know with others so they too can grow. We can educate and uplift. We can cooperate and thrive. We can go the extra mile and add value to others and help them succeed because then they are likely to want to return the favor to us. Get it?

Reciprocity means I buy you dinner and you feel like you want to buy me dinner. We take turns. We are mutually obligated. That is the way our world works and how it worked for so long. People doing good for each other. Helping each other. We want to give back.

That is why community meetings, dances, church, weddings, funerals were and are important. We unite. We came together to solve problems together or to celebrate lives. Solving problems together means working together toward a common goal. Cooperation.

Come Together – Unite – Hang – Enjoy – Celebrate – Be Together

That is how our political system is supposed to work. Okay, whoops, I slipped that in there, but as an example. We get nowhere obfuscating or obstructing from either side of the isle. We are supposed to be united for the good of all concerned. We aren’t.

We are passed over because of lobbyists and interest groups. Many times favors are granted to the highest bidder. Alright, enough! No more politics but I hope the example is clear. We can’t run our lives or business off the example we see in our government. Its crappy.

It isn’t a good role model any longer. That is what we should be. We should be better role models. We should be more conscientious. We need to care more for each other and a little bit less for ourself. Love yourself. It is critically important but love others too. Keep giving.

Be Around People In Person Who Can Love And Support You

Take time for the people around you. Connect in person. Put the phone away for awhile. YES, I know it is difficult to not take another selfie or text someone something inane. I know it is nearly impossible to abstain. Give it a try for a couple minutes at a time.

Connect in person! Give some attention. Listen to listen and learn not to argue and counterpoint. Listen to discover who the person you are with is and what is important to this person. Allow them to discover you too! Exchange and enjoy! Live and uplift. Share. TALK!

We are niche marketed into splinters. We aren’t exposed to diverse concepts as groups. Let’s not exist only as a person in a house at a computer but let’s be a neighborhood again. Let’s discover a diverse community not just those who are carbon copies of us.

Strangers Are Potential Friends – We Just Haven’t Met Them Yet

Let’s go beyond our limits. Let’s seek to understand outside the box and our narrow sphere of our targeted personal niche. Let’s understand and appreciate others for their different opinions and practices. Let’s become a melting pot again. Let’s connect.

Let’s cooperate. Let’s support and uplift. Let’s learn from everyone and from everywhere. Let’s celebrate the uniqueness of everyone and appreciate all the similarities. We are, people, one species, after all. We are a diverse collection of one species on one globe.

Don’t buy into the goal of the marketers and the media to provide you only what you already like. Expand your horizons. Bridge the gaps. Delight in difference. I’m not saying you can’t have your singular likes, you can, but have others also. There world is vast!

Learn From Everyone – Learn From Everywhere – Be Open – Invite

Go beyond what you know. Expose your mind to new and different ideas. Embrace and delight in all of it. Be receptive. Come out from behind the technology and interact. Face to face rather than face to Facebook. Enjoy, learn, connect and celebrate everyone and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Meet someone new today!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

Habit Formation, Personal Development, Rehearsal And Practice, Relationships

Transform Yourself Into Someone People Want To Do Nice Things For

January 14, 2017 rexsikes 1 Comment

“So why all this discussion on SD, overcoming fears and swapping positive emotions and habit formation? Because it means you really can learn to do anything you want. You can learn to become a better communicator and get people to do what you want them to do.

You can transform yourself from someone who may not be very effective into someone of great influence and benevolent power. You can make yourself listen better, pay attention, be respectful, go the extra mile, take action, do unto others, and get back in return.

You can become a selfless enlightened giver or a greedy son of a bitch. It is always your choice. If you already are an enlightened giver you can still go beyond anything you presently know. If you are a greedy SOB you can change that right away to get better results.

It Costs You Absolutely Nothing To Be Nice – Go That Extra Mile

You can eliminate fears, doubts, bad habits and anything that holds you back. You can learn new powerful thoughts and beliefs, value important new values, feel incredible, chose your feelings and learn to take action. You can behave as you prefer to. It is in your power.

You can systematically expose yourself to new thoughts, beliefs and ideas. You can bit by bit daily condition yourself in small increments to take new positive, productive actions, think new thoughts, feel new feelings by repeated daily correct practice. Keep this in mind.

How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice. You use the very same process, procedure, mechanism that created your original beliefs, feelings and actions to create the new ones you now chose. That is the difference. The first ones you learned by exposure.

If You Met Yourself Would You Want To Be Friends With You

You didn’t have a say. You were too young and didn’t know you had choices. Now you know. Now you can choose to be whoever you want to be. Now you can choose to make your present and future whatever you want to make it. You practice being the you you want.

You make the new you a habit. This is friggin’ awesome, don’t you think? Sure it takes some dedication. It can also be wildly fun and adventurous. As you see the changes and your gains you can feel thrilled! You can and will make progress. YOU transform yourself.

Repeatedly expose your mind and being to the very best thoughts, feelings, actions, habits, people, reading and listening material, events and circumstances and you and your life will change for the best. Manifest what you want by diving into what you want more of.

Develop Positive Supportive Habits Through Correct Practice

It works! It works! It works! Practice! Practice! Practice. Develop new habits that support you in being who you want to be, doing what you want to do and having what you want. Eliminate the chronic habitual thoughts, feelings and behavior that held you back.

If you want your life to change you must change some things in your life. Become a person who can easily appeal to others, engage their interest, rivet their attention. Transform yourself into the person others naturally want to do nice things for. Become extra likable!

Practice gratitude for everything. Where you are at, where you have been, and where you are going. Appreciate all your experiences and lessons. Be thankful for all the people in your life easy to get along with and challenging; those close to you and those strangers. Be thankful. Delight and celebrate everything!”

Delight fully today!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

Blessings, Celebration, Creating The Future, Giving Unconditionally

The Giver’s Paradox

January 13, 2017 rexsikes Leave a comment

“If you want to increase your wealth, affluence, happiness and all goodness in your life practice giving for giving sake. Give to give! Don’t give to get. Give because you want to help and you are compassionate, kind, caring, thoughtful and sensitive. Give to give.

Think of others first and give. You don’t have to do it all the time. You don’t have to give away the farm. You don’t go into debt giving. You simply experiment and learn the true joy and blessings of giving. It is easy. Tip the doorman, the barista, your waiter a bit more. More.

Be generous instead of stingy. Someone said, if you get caught up in ‘should I give this much?’ Go ahead and give it. Err, on the side of too much rather than on too little or the exact amount. Be generous and joyous. If you resent or regret any of it you are not giving joyously.

Cheerful Givers Don’t Count The Cost Of What They Give

Treat someone. Buy dinner. Pay for a movie. Devote some time. Hang out. Help them with a chore or situation. It doesn’t have to be just cash you give. You can give your time, energy, effort, attention, companionship, respect, and money. The point is you give.

If you are giving to get something in return you are missing the blessing. You need to give without expecting anything back. You need to give without keeping score. You give because you want to. You don’t need thanks. You want to give. Here is a personal story.

I gave someone money for groceries once. A few hundred dollars. It was a gift or a loan. I wasn’t sure how I wanted to treat it. I knew they needed a helping hand and I could help out. Well, later the people didn’t even remember what I had done. Details don’t matter.

Blessed Are Those Who Give Without Remembering – Give Freely

Suffice to say it is all good. They didn’t remember and never said thanks. I didn’t want to point it out. I hoped they’d remember. They didn’t. I started getting bugged by it. Get it? My good deed actually had a lot of strings attached. Still, I never reminded them.

That wasn’t the point. The point was I was trying to be a good guy but I also had a bunch of unconscious conditions attached. When the conditions weren’t met I began to feel resentful. What does resent have to do with generously giving? Get it? It was my issue not theirs.

That kind of giving may be better than not giving at all but it isn’t in the spirit of letting go and giving simply to give. Once you give, you give! You don’t set conditions or terms on it. You don’t take it back You let them do what they want with it. Don’t decided for them.

What Goes Around Comes Around – Give Without Conditions

My parents often had conditions. They’d say, ‘we’re going to gave you this but we don’t want you to spend it or to touch it.’ Or. ‘you can only use it for this’; their particular reason. I hated that. I liked receiving it but felt obligated in ways I didn’t want to be obligated.

When you give simply to give, with no expectations or strings, you are truly blessed. Don’t look for the blessing. Give and let go. That is the trick. It is as tricky as enlightenment. Seek enlightenment with everything you have but if you want enlightenment it eludes you.

It only comes when you ultimately give up seeking it. This is true of many things. Let love go and you find it. When you don’t have needs you are rich. When you have needs you can’t seem to make ends meet. If you give to get you get nothing much back at all.

You Get Back What You Put Out – Celebrate And Enjoy

If you are happy with who you are and what you have your life can be truly incredible. Plus, you get more! It is an amazing paradox but one that affects us all. Let go. Give freely and you end up getting more back. Be delighted! Celebrate everything!”

Today, is all we truly have. Live fully today!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Fear, Habit Formation, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development

We Live In A Parallel Universe: Use It To Go Beyond Your Fears

January 12, 2017 rexsikes Leave a comment

“In my recent blog I discussed Systematic Desensitization (SD) as a useful method for getting over fears and phobias. There are other approaches that are very effective too. NLP has a Fast Phobia Cure that can work wonders. Here is a reason why I mentioned SD.

Little by little the individual gets desensitized to the trigger for fear through exposure. They are repeatedly and safely exposed to the stimulus, or source of their fear, which lessens its impact; thereby diminishing their emotional reaction to it. Bit by bit they change.

They experience less and less discomfort. The ‘item’ is brought nearer and nearer to them. Not too quickly. Just as rapidly as the person can maintain comfort in the presence of the trigger. If it get close too quickly, they back it up a bit, until the reaction lessens.

Everything You Want Is On The Other Side Of Fear

Then try again later or another day. For example, the SD practitioner presents the ‘item’ to them from across the room. The next time a few steps closer. Next time, more steps closer. Until they are next to the person, whereby the person can handle the item if they choose.

After repeating this for long enough the person typically experiences a reduction in fear. This illustrates a couple of noteworthy points. One a person can get over what they are afraid of by facing it. Yes, they face it in a particular, and safe fashion.

The point is they can learn to get over it. They learn it is not so bad. They learn they can get over feeling afraid. Imagine if they did this ONE thing how many other things they could learn to do, as well. They learned to be afraid. NOW they learned they can control it.

Don’t Let Fear Stop You – If You Can’t You Must – Face Your Fears

People can control their emotions, thoughts, internal pictures, voices, and feelings. They can learn to behave differently. They learned to diminish the fear reaction and overcome it, even if they don’t totally eliminate it. BUT they learn something else, too.

Here is the parallel notion coming in. At the same time they are diminishing their fear they are learning to feel more positive and confident. They are learning they can exist with their fear, face it and be brave and overcome it. They are learning control. Self-control!

It is not that the fear is taken away and nothing left in its place. Remember, nature abhors a vacuum. Instead of just no fear confidence, bravery or some other positive emotion simultaneously comes in to fill the gap. Whatever the person originally wanted.

Courage Is The Ability To Keep Going In Spite Of Being Afraid

Most likely, they wanted to ‘not feel afraid’. Remember, what I have shared with you about the word ‘not’, negativity, and the brain. You can’t not think of a pink cat with zebra stripes wearing a yellow hat, right now. Can you? Don’t think about it. Too late! Oops. Get it?

For some people they could have learned to get over it simply by repeating affirmations and deciding to. For others, they need to face and remove the fear first. Then, simultaneously, fear is replaced with something positive. Either way, the result can be the same.

No fear, more confidence. So in SD the individual is taught how to handle their fear and eliminate it or ‘not’ experience it by building up comfort and familiarity through repeated exposure. Safe repetition is the key. Repetition IS the mother of ALL skill. It works powerfully.

We Have Nothing To Fear Except Fear Itself – Keep On Going

Another example. A person learns to speak comfortably to one person. Then two. Then three or four. Then 6 or 8. The 10 or 20. Then 30 or 50. Beginning with small numbers the person shares information with increasingly larger sized groups. Guess what?

People learn to get over their fear of public speaking. Once they learn it isn’t so scary they learn it can be fun and enjoyable. They become comfortable with doing it by becoming familiar with the process. Items can be added or subtracted. The point? It works!

We often are more comfortable with those which we are familiar with. Most people fear the unknown. They are afraid of what might happen or what they don’t know, that they imagine, could happen. They are afraid of strangers, animals, flying, foods. You name it.

Even The Darkest Night Ends And The Sun Rises

By repeatedly exposing them to the fear trigger, they face it and develop both familiarity and comfort. You can learn to do anything! You can overcome any debilitating fear this way. Gently and safely. Here is the good news! This is the same way you build any skill.

You repeatedly do it. You familiarize yourself with it and get comfortable or accustomed doing it. It is the same way you build a muscle. Repeat the exercise gradually increasing resistance. You can learn to get over shyness, public speaking and do anything you want.

You can take any desire that you want and turn it into a burning hot desire. You can take any lie and begin to believe it. Some lies are not worth believing. Those include falsehoods of all kinds but most particularly ‘I can’t’ statements, self doubt or criticism.

It Is By Facing Your Fears And Problems You Become Strong

You can begin to believe more useful beliefs like ‘I can’ statements and positive useful affirmations such as ‘I can learn to do anything when I commit to it. I can learn to feel brave and move forward. I can learn to make lots of money easily. I can learn to love and be loved.’

‘I can accept compliments graciously. I can learn to get along with all sorts of people; those like me and those completely different than me. I can learn to listen to opposing viewpoints and feel confident in letting the person keep their ideas without trying to change them.’

‘I am in the process of learning how to speak to groups of people and feel comfortable. I can learn to make any positive change I want. I can eliminate bad habits and fears and move confidently forward. I can be a loving and kind partner and parent. I love my life!’

Whether You Think You Can Or You Can’t – You Are Right

If the mental leap from not being able to do it to being to do it, is at first, too large, you can inch way there by strengthening your word choices. You can start gently by saying, ‘I am beginning to learn I can feel confident’ I am in the process of leaning to feel stronger’.

‘I am beginning to feel much better. I am feeling wonderful. ‘I feel powerful. I am powerful. I have great power. I am confident. I exude strength and comfort easily and effortlessly. I rock! I am strong!’ You work your way up to it through repeated exposure. Anyone can!

This is how our beliefs, thought, feeling and behavioral habits were and are formed. We can learn to overcome the dark side while simultaneously strengthening the good side. Through repetition we builds bad habits or good habits. You too can make changes.

I Can Do Anything – No Mountain Too High – No Struggle Too Hard

You can make positive, permanent changes when you choose. Choose the best. All of us can increase our abilities and positive feelings. We can amaze and delight ourselves by going beyond limitations into wonderful new ways of being. We can learn to be, do and have anything we want. We can definitely learn to celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Live passionately today!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

Attitude, Communicating, Responsibility, Win Win Outcomes

Wanting Without Manipulating: How To Create Win/Win Outcomes

January 10, 2017 rexsikes Leave a comment

“You have wants. Other people have wants. How do you get what you want while they get what they want? This is the big question. Zig Ziglar is famous for saying ‘You can get anything you want if you just help enough people get what they want.’ It is true and it works!

The points to keep in mind are you have your want and others have theirs. If you both can get what you both want, or a significant part of each, then you both can win. If you both win you both are pleased you keep the relationship intact and can both win together again.

Create win/win outcomes that is your goal. First let us reframe a word that is difficult for people. The word is manipulate. There is nothing wrong with manipulation. Manipulation means to move from one place to another. You manipulate your car while driving.

It’s Not Your Way Or My Way Together Let’s Find The Best Way

It is a less than glorious notion when applied to making people do things they wouldn’t want to do. I agree. If you engineer it so people aren’t served, so the outcome isn’t with their best interest in your heart then it isn’t a good thing. And manipulation can be good.

So let’s not be concerned with the dark aspect of this word as long as your intentions and purpose are to create a positive win for the other. Just be certain you aren’t deceiving yourself into thinking you are doing it for them when you are really doing it just for yourself.

Be honest and clean with yourself. If you want your child to do homework because ultimately it benefits them you may manipulate them in some positive fashion. You may offer a reward. If it also allows you some relief and quiet time then you both win. Get it?

You Can Be Right And Alone – Or Together In A Good Relationship

You both should win. Your interests are important and so are theirs. The more you can make both parties benefit and be happy the better off you both will be. You will become known as a person of integrity and great value if you act with integrity and provide great value.

If you are pure in your heart and wish and work for the best for everyone you will win. If you give only to get and don’t care how you give or what you give but only want to serve yourself that ultimately reveals itself. You can’t hide true motives for very long. We leak info.

People can read each other. We feel it when something is off. We radiate and broadcast who we are everyday, all day. We can’t hide it. People can attempt to mask it, but eventually they are exposed in some fashion. It will definitely bite you on the ass at sometime.

Conflict Cannot Continue Without Your Participation – Let Go

Develop a genuine giving nature. It will come with practice. Give. Donate your time, energy or money to a worthy cause. Get involved. Little by little, just as with any habit, you will develop a giving muscle. Give happily. No one wants to be forced to give. Give what you can.

Don’t give and regret. Give and celebrate. Tiny steps at first if necessary. Practice negotiation. I am not suggesting you give away the farm when you work together with others. I am stating you need to find areas of agreement where you both are delighted; satisfied.

When it comes to adding value think absolutely knock your socks off customer service! Think wow how can I go above and beyond anyone else and make my customer (or relational partner or friends) fabulously delighted? WOW them and you win them! It is good biz!

Blessed Are Those Who Can Give Without Remembering …

It is also good practice for family, friends and strangers. Go that extra mile that no one else will. Do it in your job, in all of your relationships and in all areas of your life and you will benefit. Just do it for them, because you believe they deserve it and you enjoy it.

You deserve to get too. Remember that. You win and they win. They win and you win. That is your purpose for communicating and negotiating. Always leave them better off than before they met with you. And as in show business, ‘Always leave them wanting more!’

Get it. I hope so. Again, a major point. If you, make it a point, to celebrate all the people in your life you will feel much better. Even, and especially the challenging ones. Think, they are there for a reason. They’re there to help you grow and evolve as a person.

… And Blessed Are Those Who Can Take Without Forgetting

It doesn’t have to be true to be useful. It may be a reframe but utilize it for your benefit. Be grateful for the lessons learned. Be grateful for the challenges to grow stronger and wiser. Be grateful for the opportunity. Be grateful and enjoy. Delight and appreciate.

You are better off and move forward as you do. It will help you to create win/wins. Serve yourself and serve others. Then they are more apt to return in kind to you. It is the Law of Reciprocity in action. Give and get; get and give; joyously. Your life will transform. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

Boundaries, Communicating, Overcoming Difficulty, Responsibility

You Must Maintain Your Boundaries Too

January 9, 2017 rexsikes 2 Comments

“Boundaries are important. Their boundaries and your boundaries. You ought not cross theirs nor should they cross yours. So what to do? Treat them with respect and expect the same in return. Don’t demand and be nasty about it. Stay nice, but firm if you must.

Know when someone is wasting your time or mistreating you. Be prepared to say no when it is necessary. Don’t let people abuse your time or your generosity. This may be rare, especially, if you take care to learn how to better read people. If it isn’t check in on yourself.

If you are constantly having squabbles and issues then it is likely you need to make some changes. Remember, it is not easy to change others. It is far more productive and beneficial to change yourself and your responses to others. That is within your control.

A Lack Of Boundaries Invites A Lack Of Respect

When people try to take advantage or abuse your time, generosity or more, be firm, be polite, be final about it. You can gently put your foot down without destroying the other person. Let the person know you have boundaries you won’t allow to be violated.

There are people who have no regard. Still, you should treat them fairly and with kindness. Speak only to bless, heal and prosper. Don’t let them get to you. Your attitude and behavior in the worst situation is a reflection of your character. Seek the higher pathway.

Your character builds reputation. Your reputation as a friend or business person will precede you. It is obvious you want to be known as the best friend, the most reliable, honest, trustworthy, easy to do business with business person. That will be of great help to you.

No – Is A Complete Sentence – Give Respect And Get Respect

Napoleon Hill stated he had three walls. An outer wall that was low and had a few doors in it many people could access. Not everyone but many. The next wall was higher with one door in it. Far fewer were allowed entry. Only necessary people got admitted in.

The last wall was very high and only a handful could gain access at times. This was his metaphor for prioritizing his time, and energy and maintaining privacy. People could gain access depending how closely they were associated with to him or how important it was.

It is necessary to maintain your own boundaries. You shouldn’t have to fight to preserve them. Know when to say no and when not to. Pick your battles wisely. You don’t always have to be all things to all people. I simply want you to understand this. You are important.

Boundaries Are Normal Healthy And Necessary

Nurture and take care of and love yourself. Appreciate others and appreciate yourself. Respect yourself. Then others will too. If you aren’t egotistical, if you don’t flaunt it and are not a snob, but are confident, well-adjusted with a sense of humor and self respect others will respect and like you all the more. Be authentic. Be kind and be grateful. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Take care of yourself, today!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

Attitude, Blessings, Celebration, Opportunity

Good Things Always Come Your Way If You Are Open To It

January 7, 2017 rexsikes 6 Comments

I interrupt our series of blogs on ‘How To Get People To Do What You Want’ to share with you some wonderful bits about today. I enjoy the notions of synchronicity, coincidence, and happenstance. I enjoy the notions of attraction and manifestation. l like mystery.

I like magic. The mysterious and delightfully wonderful and bizarre mystic Gurdjieff wrote a fascinating book titled ‘Meetings With Remarkable Men’ which could be a book that I write. My life has been filled with remarkable people of high intelligence.

I have been surrounded by incredible spiritual mystics, deep thinkers, movers and shakers; people of vast wealth and influence, and great talent. I have been fortunate to have had, and today, still gain access to remarkable people of tremendous insight.

Create A Positive Atmosphere In Your Life And Good Will Happen

Many of the most influential people and profound mentors in my life have been powerful women. Many of these in the areas of health, and show business. Today, I was fortunate to be invited to lunch by a very, very wealthy influential gentleman who’ll remain nameless.

From Noon to 3:30 this afternoon I was delighted to spend time listening and learning and conversing with he and a few other friends he had invited. He bought us lunch and we hung out. At one point, I asked what he attributed his great success to.

He looked me in the eye and said, ‘I listen. I learned to listen well. I listen to everything and I remember it. I am a sneaky listener too. I listen to others when they talk. I listen so I can connect with people. I listen so that attention is off of me and on the other person.’

Be Patient The Best Things Happen Unexpectedly – Remain Open

He continued, ‘I listen. Then I know what is important to other people. I learn what they want and feel they need. Then, I know how to speak with them and help them begin to feel more fulfilled. It’s about the other person; not about me. I’m not that interesting.’

Later in my day, I I met a younger man who said he spent most of his life in special-education. Not as an instructor but as one labeled with special needs. He told me about himself. It was fascinating what he was doing with his life. He was making things happen. It was great.

He had a very positive attitude. He was a person of faith. He mentioned that he was learning to do something by watching YouTube videos over, and over, and over again. He’d watch powerful speakers speak and we would learn their positive messages.

Sometimes Good Things Need To End For Better Ones To Happen

He also mentioned he was learning to do dry wall. He stated it was basically very simple. The process was measure twice cut and once. If you screw up do it again. It was simple and to the point. Mistakes were learning points but no big deal. Learn and improve.

One of the things that struck me most in what he shared was he said, ‘I can teach myself anything I want.’ And he does. Here’s a guy who spent his entire life labeled as a special needs kid stating he can teach himself to be anything he wants. AND he is!

He recently moved to this area and was getting to know people and enjoying it, although it was much colder. Eventually, he hopes to move to the southeast. He was a fascinating person and his attitude is indeed marvelous. I enjoyed my time with people today.

Focus On What Matters Stay Positive – Good Things Will Happen

Each morning I wake up and my first thoughts are, ‘I love my life. Today, something magical will happen for me. I accept and allow all the unexpected good and gifts that come my way. What can I do to be of service? How might I help?’ I love waking up celebrating.

Then I find out how these manifest themselves. Every day I am delightfully surprised in big and small ways. Sometimes big wonderful things come my way and sometimes I am tickled. Each day I’m open proves to be fascinating and I meet remarkable people.

I learned a lot from two people at different ends of the financial spectrum today. What a fabulous blessing! I love my life. Let’s all look for what we can enjoy, delight in and learn from. We are surrounded by opportunity each and every moment. Let’s celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Today, live, love, learn and laugh!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

Communicating, Go First, Responsibility, Trust

Experts Reveal: Why You Win When You Go The Extra Mile

January 5, 2017 rexsikes Leave a comment

“Don’t you just love it when someone goes out of their way to help you out or do something nice? I mean sure, sometimes the tendency is to not receive a gift because you don’t want to ‘put someone out’ or you don’t want to feel obligated. Still, it is nice, isn’t it?

Of course, it is. When some one does something for you, you appreciate it. When they do something extra special it is even more important and memorable. It has an impact. Remember, what I said a moment ago about being obligated. It stimulates reciprocity.

You want to return the kindness. If you want more people to say yes and become devoted to you or your business then be willing to provide far more value than you ask for in return. Go the extra mile. Demonstrate your ability to give and you will get far more back.

Go The Extra Mile – Just Like At The Top – It Is Never Crowded

Give first and you will get back! There is a caveat. Give to give not to get back. When you are a genuine giver you will get far more back than you can imagine. Be sincere. Give because you want to provide lot’s of value to those around you. You will get known for it.

Give of your respect. Give your attention. Give you kindness. Give your time. Give your yes. Be generous and provide value first for the other person. When you do people naturally want to, and even feel compelled to, reciprocate. They will return your kindness. Get it?

This is why people bring gifts or food or drink to dinner parties they are invited to. It is why a sales person often bring donuts or coffee to their sales calls. It is why they pick up the tab at a business lunch or meeting. They obligate you. You feel compelled to say yes.

People Of Excellence – Go The Extra Mile – To Do What Is Right

You promise to get the tab next time. Researchers call it The Law Of Reciprocity. When you give first people want to give back. They actually do feel compelled. When someone buys you lunch or a movie ticket, they pay for something, what do you want to do?

Return the favor, right? If someone gives you a ride for free you want to pay for gas. When you give first, they want to return it. If you listen well, if you are focused and attentive, people more readily return the same to you. There is a saying, givers get.

Demonstrate their interests are genuinely in your heart and they will place you in theirs. If you give only to get they will know it. Say yes to them and they will say yes to you! You win more bears with honey. Go the extra mile. Provide fabulous value.

Be The Difference – Don’t Just Be Ordinary – Be Extraordinary

Be the type of person that exemplifies trust, honesty, loyalty, respect, willingness, acceptance and cooperation. You are the message. Who you are and what you do is far more important than what you say. We will discuss more of ‘who you are’ later.

For now, go the extra mile. Will everyone, always, return your kindness? No, but most will. That makes it even more important. You risk not having anyone return anything. This makes you the bigger person. When people know you are sincere it works in your favor.

Don’t try to manipulate. If you are authentic people will respond far better because most will ‘get it’ at a gut level. We are usually far more perceptive than otherwise. Our gut, our first impressions usually are right. Many people listen to theirs. Be a good person.

Stand Out And Taller Among The Crowd By Going The Extra Mile

You win in the long run when you go beyond the call of duty. Understand this. You up your batting average. There is no absolute guarantee but you should offer one whenever you can. Get it? You win by helping others win. Make them a priority. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Make it a marvelous day!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

|Rex Sikes| Daily Inspiration | Gratitude | Positive Thinking | Positive Attitude | Get Rich | Make Money | Success | Positive Thoughts | Live Your Dreams | Get Your Goals | Become Rich| Become Wealthy | Law Of Attraction | The Secret | Wealth Creation | Abundance | Unlimited Power | LOA | Neuro Linguistic Programming | NLP | Think and Grow Rich | Secret |

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