What To Do When Unexpected Challenges Arise And You Feel Fear

horizons flowers and flowers

“My blog today is in response to comment left yesterday. It is a piece of a puzzle. It is a first step in a journey. It is a morsel of food in the meal you eat. Without knowing specifics (this is not a request to know) the suggestions I have are general. Absolutely valuable and applicable anytime, but still general.

It may not be what the individual needs to read or hear at this time, and the person may be better served seeking answers elsewhere from someone in person.

Still, the principles are applicable to all of us in our quest for a more wonderful life so I wrote in reply, actually to all of us. Each of us face challenges, hopefully, this will encourage.

The reader commented, and I am always happy when readers comment. When someone reaches out, or shares insight, loves or hates something it is good to know. That is WHY there IS a comment section so you can LEAVE comments!

Here is the comment:

‘I’m facing an unexpected and very challenging situation. And I do feel fear. I agree with what you have written, but my path seems unclear to me. I want peace and a stable situation. (And I have re-written this 9 different ways)……Changing my thoughts will change my actions and change the situation.’

First,  I wish you the best. I am glad you commented. You are doing for yourself and working to make it work for you. That is excellent.

It is not uncommon to feel fear from an unexpected and challenging situation. That is quite normal. It is what we do as humans.

Getting clear about your path is what you do want to do.  When confronted with obstacles we may not know what to do or where to go. Still, in order to journey onward we first need to clarify where we want to end up. Otherwise, we may or may not make any progress.

How would we know if we were progressing if we don’t know where our destination is? Plus, it is important that we make certain we are focused on where we want to go to or end up.

Circumstances can be challenging and difficult, for certain. The learning we all need to acquire is to notice the circumstances but not focus on them. Stop giving the circumstances your attention and energy. Decide what you want instead, not what you do not want.

When you repeat,  ‘Changing my thoughts will change my actions and change the situation.’ while accurate notice what your attention is on. Change the situation. You want to change your thoughts and actions in order to change the situation.

How might you phrase your affirmation to put the emphasis on what you want instead of focusing on the situation? That is where you need to put you emphasis or focus. Think about what you want. Also affirm what you want to feel.

For example, ‘I am calm’; ‘I am confident’; ‘I am able to learn to do anything I put my mind to’; ‘I have peace of mind’; ‘I feel joy’. Whatever you want to think, feel and be. Simply put whatever you want to be after ‘I am’ or ‘I have’ or ‘I feel’. Present tense.

You might also ask Directed Questions™: ‘I wonder how soon I can discover myself easily find more peace and joy throughout today?’ In how many ways will I be delighted and amazed to feel my confidence growing in leaps and bounds?”

You can use what it is you don’t want to help you clarify what it is you do want. Make sure you know what you want and then imagine what you want fully. Whatever it is use your imagination and imagine all the positive good you want to have. Imagine it as though you already have it. It has happened. It is yours.

You want your energy to go where you want. That is why you place you attention on what you want. The work is to keep the attention on the good you want to create and positively have. It takes practice. It does take discipline but anyone can learn to do it in time.

The secret is keeping it there. Going back and forth from feeling positive and confident to doubtful and fearful is what keeps us stuck. We need to overwhelmingly feel positive and confident. We need our focus to be on the good most of the time. Of course, everyone has a negative thought.

As soon as you notice the negative thought or feeling steer it back to positive. Two things happen. One is this is the training we all need. The ability to control and steer our mind and get it to serve us instead of being out master is the skill we need to develop. Two it will make the difference. You will be more positive more of the time!

Make sure what you want is a win/win for you and everyone; wonderful and positive! Place your focus on this. You may not know how to bring it about yet but stay focused on what you want to create. The good you want to create is the good you focus on and imagine throughout the day. This is what you can create!

Feel the good feelings that come with the good you desire. If the world were perfect and your situation resolved and you were your ideal self, being, doing and having what you want how would you feel?

Those are the feelings you want to have more of. Those are the feeling you want to savor and bask in when you think about your destination.

Those are the feelings you want to spend time with. Day and night, and as often as you can, think of the good, see it in your mind’s eye and feel the marvelous feelings. As long as you win and others with there is no disharmony.

What we think about we bring about! If we concentrate on avoiding what we don’t want we just get more of the same. If we focus on what we DO want to create for ourselves we get more of that.

Even though you may not know how it will come about this is what you concentrate on. You think, have faith and affirm that everything will work out for good even though you don’t have any idea how. It is okay not to know how. It really is.

We all need to learn to do this. It is similar to planting a seed. It grows where we can’t see it grow at first, underground. The results of our decision, to focus on the good we want to create, is at first invisible.

We must keep the faith that ultimately everything will work out and that we will be able to behave resourcefully. It isn’t magic or wishing. It is the application of principles that changes the course of our future.

If you decide you want to take boat across the sea to a distant land you have to know where you are going. You determine where you want to end up and you go there. If storms come up along the way you have to navigate through, or around them and get back on course, to get to your destination.

When you focus and believe in yourself you marshall your inner resources. When challenged it is the opportunity to learn lessons and discover the very best within you. The key is to not give up or lose faith. Believe in yourself. Affirm you can do this!

In your present circumstances you may need to find someone who has already navigated the troubled waters, someone who can positively mentor you because they have been there and gone through that and come out the other side successfully. Someone in your area whom you can rely on, confide in and trust. If you need help or assistance reach out.

Inside you is an internal GPS. It knows all the routes and has all the answers you need to get where you want to go. You have the resources to make positive changes, even though you may not be aware that you do, and yet, that can being to easily clear up.

As you keep positive and keep faith in your own inner abilities you may find yourself discovering more of what you need to know in order to move ahead confidently and safely. Trust in yourself to make the wisest choices even though you don’t know what these are yet. Believe in you!

Attitude makes a big difference. This may be just what you look back on some day and are thankful for. If you can cultivate that attitude while going through it you are ahead of the game.

The opportunity to grow and develop comes from adversity. The statement, ‘the kite rises against the wind’ is applicable. Challenge will help you grow in the long run and you will learn a lot from the situation about yourself and your resourcefulness.

I hope, my words help. Understand I have little to go on and I can’t, no one can, solve anything for you. That is up to each individual to do for oneself. I hope, though, in some small way, I can encourage you to stay strong and take everything lightly.

Put into practice the principles you have been learning. Fill your mind each day with positive, inspirational material. Read and listen to positive books and audios. Fill your mind with ‘can do’ messages. Find positive people to encourage and support you.

Manage your self talk and speak only to bless, heal and prosper. Visualize what you want, as already discussed, and grow your faith in your ability to have a positive present and future. Find things to celebrate and appreciate in areas of life, even in the challenges.

Be the victor of the circumstances. Decide to prevail against troubles and to create more love, joy and happiness for all. Determine to live as a champion and stay positive and confident. You will as you keep your focus on what you want to create! It works. It does work. It is YOU who makes it work!” Rex Sikes

PS I wrote this response, then just as I went to publish, it occurs to me that, perhaps, you weren’t looking for a reply. If I made an incorrect assumption I apologize. I say this because I realize that not everyone wants someone to reply, sometimes we just wish to be heard or listened to. Sometimes we just want a hug.

Have a wonderful day!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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