“Do you sometimes feel change is hard? Have you felt overwhelmed at times? We all go through it at different points in our life. Someone who read my blog elsewhere reached out saying ‘great post’ and ‘thanks’. He then described some personal history and how he worked hard to make changes. I thought I’d share my reply.
‘Thanks for speaking out. Yes, I agree there is a way to use doubts fears and negative feelings. The best way is as an alert signal that let’s us know something is amiss with our thinking and that we need to change it.
We need to re-aim it so we think and feel better. So whenever we feel less than glorious that is the body’s way of saying ‘hey change your thinking. stop thinking about what you don’t want and begin to think positive!’
If we were always contented with love and non-critical we would probably never change. Why would we if we are always satisfied. So dissatisfaction has a place too. The trick is learning to be dissatisfied without being cruel to ourselves or others.
To love and nourish, to nurture ourselves when times are good and not so good is important. It has been reported for sometime now, by researchers, that too much right brain activity may be the cause of depressive feelings.
Many artists, of all types, display right brained dominance or that tendency. Happiness is mostly a left brain function. It is literally what we say to our self and how we say it. The words and the tone. The left hemisphere is the seat of our ability to understand and speak language.
How we talk to ourselves is important. Unfortunately, many of us, have made less than glorious self-talk a habit. This does result in feeling less than glorious too. Monitoring and changing what we say is important to be able to change and feel better.
It is is a conditioning process. It requires mental exercise or practice similar to physical exercise or practice. That means replacing a bad chronic habit with a better, more productive habit.That takes effort but it can be done.
It takes consistent effort and dedication. It is simple but not always easy. Similar to exercise you have to do it repeatedly, for long enough, before you begin to see results and then keep doing it to further develop and then maintain the results.
A lot of people don’t realize how truly wonderful they are. They don’t appreciate how strong they are or how much they have already overcome. They should fully appreciate themselves for it.
I believe credit where credit is due. If you make a mistake, own up and at the same time forgive yourself. A mistake is just a mistake. Take it easy. Be gentle and compassionate. Never critical or harsh.
Anyone who suffers or has suffered from negativity and reports on it is already a winner! It means somewhere inside the person there is more than enough resourcefulness to get through it. There is a very strong and resourceful person to make it through the tough times.
This is great when you think about it! EVEN thought times have been incredibly difficult the person has been victorious. I hope that you, and others realize that. When you over come difficult times pat yourself on the back. Give yourself a hug and some praise.
If you attempted to overcome some difficulties but didn’t do so well at the time, give yourself a hug and some praise for trying. Encourage and nurture yourself along. This is very important. Say nice things to yourself. Make this a a habit.
The brain is very adaptable and can and will make changes. It may have wired in some old negative programming, depressive thoughts, anxious or fearful thoughts in the past, but those can be changed. They really can be changed. We don’t have to be held captive by the past or by our conditioning or by our genes.
Science has made some great strides forward. It takes time for the word to disseminate before enough people actually understand what the updates are. Research in neuroscience actually does point out that it is really true.
If you choose to think different thoughts, positive thoughts, even though it may seem tough, it is a choice you can make and force if you have to, it will make a large positive difference in time.You must do it again and again, by sheer force if necessary, as much as you can.
Think happy, positive, optimistic changes and you will re-wire the brain for more happiness. The brain is adaptable and responsive to this. Think happy thoughts speak happy thoughts. The reason most people don’t is because can be tough, or at least seems like it is.
Your brain can be re-wired! Talk to yourself nicely, all the time, that is the major way to start. Create nice supportive, positive self-talk and enjoy and celebrate everything. You have been victorious through difficult times.
As someone who is a victor, you can continue to move forward. While difficult at first it can get easier through time if you know what to do and then actually do it. People need to know that it IS possible to learn the knack of transforming less than glorious times more easily than they might think.
You have already done it. Be sure to take inventory of your talents, skills, abilities and resourcefulness in doing this. Appreciate yourself for accomplishing this. Add to it if you wish but know that you proven to yourself that YOU are able. I think that is marvelous.
Thanks for commenting and all the best wishes! Stay in touch if you like.'” Rex Sikes
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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.
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