Tag Archives: Forgiveness

Do You Want To Feel Better?

no matter how you feel get up and never give up

Do you want to feel better? Most everyone does. Some people hope to feel better others always seem to know what to do. When you are feeling ‘out of sorts’ or ‘less than glorious’ there are some simple things you can do that will make all the difference. At the very least they will initiate the process of changing so you can find relief and begin to move in a more productive direction and feel better. The better we begin to feel the more we can continue to feel well being.

accept what was have faith in what will be

Here is an easy way to change how you feel. I’m sure you have heard it before and it works! Take a walk. Go outside, get some fresh air and walk somewhere beautiful. Take it in. See it, listen, take a deep breath, smell it, feel it. Go outside and get refreshed. Look off into the distance, focus your eyes on way far off in the distance while you walk. Look to the horizon. Change your perspective.

Move! If you are able walk barefoot along the beach or the grass. Connect with the earth again. Let yourself be filled with the beauty and wonder of nature. It is easy to do. Even if you live in an urban area walk somewhere nice, somewhere different than where you normally travel. See new places and new things.

Exercise – take that walk, relaxed or make it brisk. Jog, engage in your favorite form of exercise. This helps shake off old tired negative feelings. Work out! Get the stress and frustrations out. Do some cardio, some yoga, go swimming. Move vigorously for awhile. Work in the garden, plant something. Harvest if possible, take out the brush and the weeds. Get into the earth, do some laboring.

let go of thoughts that don't make u strong

Do something nice for another person. Take a moment to make a moment special for someone else. Pay it forward. Help someone out of a jam, carry their groceries, babysit, walk the dog, anything. Put your focus onto someone other than yourself. Find a way to put a smile on their face. Make them a card or a small gift, cook them a meal, take them somewhere special. Make it a point to put some kindness into your day.

Helping others and thinking positive thoughts about others is a fantastic way to feel good. We can feel helpful, useful, kind, generous, we can have pride in what we did, or simply be loving. It takes the attention off of us and puts it onto someone else for awhile. Think about what you can do to help another person improve their situation, overcome a difficulty, solve a problem or just feel better. Caring for someone else is a marvelous way to feel wanted, needed and valuable. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or a shelter. Find out what needs to be done in your community and pitch in or simple assist a family member or a friend.

be thankful each day

Do something! Do anything! Just don’t sit there and wallow. Getting up and getting out makes an incredible difference. It is difficult to feel bad when you are moving energetically. It is difficult to feel bad when you are busy and engaged with other things. It is tough to feel bad when your focus is on helping others feel better. When your thoughts and your energy is directed in a positive way you benefit from it. When we are active and moving, when we use our bodies and minds productively it is difficult to feel down. When you are idle, when you don’t move, when you don’t change your body it is much easier to remain stuck. So get up, move, get out, do something, do anything!

Try walking, hiking, skipping, dancing, running, or rolling down a hill as a little kid would. If you are willing to try new things there is always a way out of the gloom. When you make it a habit to take charge and be active about not letting yourself whine, complain and feel down you will find yourself feeling better more of the time. As you do things to move yourself from ‘less than glorious’ to feeling better you are beginning to make it a habit, a practice, to make yourself feel better. The more you do this, the more you do it again and again the more you will find it getting easier, happening more swiftly, frequently and spontaneously. Each time you make a positive change for yourself you are learning something of great value. When you do it deliberately you are really benefiting yourself. No longer are you the victim but you become the victor.

On a separate note it is okay to feel sad sometimes. It is important to grieve when life takes a turn and you lose someone important to you. There are reasons we feel down at times. Sometimes we sleep sometimes we are awake. Everything has a season and a purpose. It is okay and you can accept it.

be the reason

There is also the time to get up and get on. It is important to know and understand and make room for both. So be sensitive and be wise. Life, as far as I am concerned, is about enjoying and delighting as much as possible. It is about celebrating all good things and making moments special. It is about allowing and about creating. It is about making it what you want it to be and not about letting it happen to you or pass you by. So when it is appropriate, when the time is right make it what you want it to be.

Playfully discover all the ways you can be more fascinated, have more fun and feel fabulous. You will never know all the ways it is possible until you begin to try a few new ones. Do a little bit each day. Explore and adventure. Create some play time for yourself and treat yourself lovingly, with respect and appreciation. If you are used to conning yourself into feeling bad learn to con yourself into feeling better.

Celebrate every moment because once they are here, they leave and only a memory remains.

You can do this. You can make your life much more marvelous. So do something today.

What kind of memories do you want to have? You decide. Put a smile on your face or help put a smile on the face of someone near you! Enjoy!” Rex SIkes

Today is yours how will you make it a little more special? I wish you a wonderful one!

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Are You Waiting For Paradise? What Are You Waiting For? Part 3 The Past

past present future

WOW! Then the past became clear to me.

Everything I had ever done or thought, successfully or not, was a pathway to this moment. In retrospect, every decision could be seen to have brought me to this present moment right here. Whether it actually is a charted pathway to now or simply haphazard doesn’t matter it is the meaning we assign to it. I don’t care to debate the reality of the past. In the light of this new understanding I could look back and see how events in my life worked or did not work to bring me to this moment.

THIS AWARENESS brought another awareness. No matter what I may have suffered, lost, or didn’t take advantage of all of it was valuable to who I am today. No matter how I failed or succeeded, no matter what I was unlucky in or was lucky in all of it were stepping stones on the pathway.

EVERYTHING from my past good and bad I could appreciate in some fashion because it was part of the road to this realization. I could celebrate successes and failures, great times and tragedies and learn from all.

some things fall apart so things come together

My thinking underwent profound changes. Life altering realizations flooded me. Some changes in thinking were instantaneous while others came about over many weeks and many years. Most came about because I immersed myself in positive and inspirational material and made a commitment to find the best thoughts to think daily. The insights came about because I was changing myself. I was working at it and gaining new understandings as a result of my efforts.

My life changed when I decided to be in charge of my thinking and feelings. I decided to choose the best thoughts and the best feelings I could find each day. I decided to stop leaving things to chance and to stop living like a victim to anything. No longer would I be like that bobbing cork.

I would fill every moment I could with the best that I could find. It might not always be the most glorious but it would be the best I could do at the moment. I would do this without criticizing myself for the job I was doing. After all, I was no expert, I was learning to do this and learning to stay focused so I should treat myself with respect and love and gentleness while in this process. I was a neophyte, a beginner, a child in the school of self improvement.

I learned that progress is quicker without trying to manage it or critique it. We evolve faster when we give ourself permission to make mistakes and accept them as a natural part of growing. Every baker has burned a loaf of bread at times. Why should I think I won’t somewhere screw up? Accept it and go on without making a big deal out of it. Relax, do the work, and let go. I moved slow and steady. I nurture myself along as if an toddler. It is better while learning to praise than to punish.

attitude difference between ordeal and adventure

I learned to nurture change gently. It was extremely difficult at times and exceptionally easy at other times. Challenges came along. They always do. When I realized difficulties were opportunities to grow even stronger through adversity I embraced them. I encountered difficult people and when I could I would think of the Golden Rule and apply it I did. This became very important because I DO want to get back what I put out – so I want it to be the very best. I want to attract the best people to gather around me.

I learned life is too short to suffer, whine, complain and be annoyed by people and circumstances. I realized this is my life AND I want to make it what I want it to be. I use the Garden Of Eden analogy. According to my version of this Biblical story we were meant to live in paradise.

We were designed for and meant to live in paradise but because of our actions (our thoughts) we don’t. Still paradise was intended for us.

Heaven and hell exist inside us. We make our life whatever it is by what we choose to pay attention to. Very little suffering actually comes from the outside of us (but there are physical realities). Most of our suffering is a result of how we react to circumstances and people and our very own thoughts and feelings. In many ways, exactly how much we suffer is up to us. We know that people may respond very differently to similar circumstances. One persons floor is another person’s ceiling.

SO I decided to stop focusing on reasons I suffer and to begin making my life a return to paradise.

But why wait? Paradise shouldn’t be a far off possibility but immediate pleasure. If I want to live in paradise then I have to begin living it right now. This is why it is important to make the present as remarkable as it can be.

We make the present incredible when we appreciating everything. EVERYTHING! We accept we allow and we learn from everything. We forgive and truly forgive. We appreciate all from the past, we decide to live as champions not merely as survivors.

If you are reading this today then you have been succeeding along. You have been doing extremely well even if you don’t think so yet. You are here and that is a testimony to your strength. For some, they have demonstrated amazing strength others may have had it easier. No matter, you are here today reading this because you have succeeded in getting here. That is worth noting for yourself.

forgive yourself for not knowing

Accept the past, heal the past, appreciate where it has brought you. No matter what the journey was like before you are right here.

What tomorrow is like you will determine today.

If your present isn’t everything you want it to be you NOW have the chance to make it so. You can begin to make your present unbelievably wonderful while creating a more marvelous future.

It is time to stop being a victim, if that is how you have lived, and start being a victor.

There is the saying ‘if it is to be it is up to me’ and that is the truth. It is up to each of us. When I realized this (and the other realizations I mentioned) my life began to transform.

I am still a work in progress. I am not complete and not perfect. Perfection is not a goal anyway. I don’t want anything perfect. I am what and who I am. I have been learning I can enjoy that. I can celebrate and become even more awesome. Nothing is lacking and nothing is complete all at the very same time. Yes, I still experience challenges and need to look for the hidden opportunities but life is so much better today!! It can be for you too if it is not already.

think continually about what you want

The past and present and future all simultaneously co-habit this moment, oddly enough.

Learn to appreciate where you have been. Validate the journey you have traveled. Celebrate where you are at this moment as you move into the future. You will arrive at the destination you have chosen for yourself. Stay positive, stay optimistic, expect the best, keep focused on what you want and all that is wonderful. Each day do the little things you can to make each moment miraculous and your life will transform in ways you can’t even begin to imagine. Yes, your life will transform because YOU will be the one transforming it.

There is no reason to wait for paradise. Begin enjoying it right now. This world is your garden. Plant and nurture the wonderful things you want to have more of.

Everything begins with the thought you think. Choose your thoughts wisely. Plant good seeds. Celebrate the process and embrace the miraculous. I’ll share more later! Meanwhile, enjoy!” Rex Sikes

It is your day to make marvelous? What are you going to do about it?

 

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What Is This About And Why. What! There Is More?

believe it to receive it

In my previous post I asked: Can we live a life worth having? Can we love and enjoy being loved? If we have only one go around then why not find the way to enjoy it and others as best we are able? Can we create a wonderful life and a wonderful world for everyone?

These are questions I find important that we ask ourselves and the purpose of this blog is to help us ask questions that bring us more wonderful results and answers.

I wanted to continue to explore some concepts.

Some people are concerned about problems and issues for themselves and the world.

With so much access to so many difficulties people face in the world, war, poverty, starvation, discrimination, hatred, territorial mentality, them against us, I felt it was time for me to put out there a vehicle, this blog, as a reminder for me, and those who might follow it, to help make the world a more glorious place for all. We can become the change we want to be in the world. We can one do that by one. If we each take responsibility  we may change the world but only when we actually try. If we do nothing it will remain the same.

I don’t believe we won’t end war by declaring more war. We won’t end poverty, destitution, poor health, disease or starvation either, or any problem by declaring war on it. That is a tired out useless, political metaphor that has not served us well at all.

We can focus on positive solutions that include, rather than exclude, that clarify rather than obfuscate, and that create more well being and harmony for all when we seek harmony and well being for all.

We will never end problems of not having enough by focusing on not having enough.

We will end these problems when we seek to have all people having plenty.

So much of the world’s issues are political in nature. wWe have wars over resources for profit we always have had these. We have border issues who should be in and who should be kept out. We have some rich people who have it all and others  who have nothing. The rich claim the poor want to take it from them.  The poor claim the rich are holding them down. We have people who hate other people because of their skin color, their religion, their politics,  their gender biases. We have people who hate people because of who they love.

There is lot’s going on. It has been going on forever.

I don’t think the world will ever change when we fight these things the way we have been fighting them.

We give energy to the problem and don’t give much to the solution. Television pundits and legislators spew hate and intolerance. The big and the little voices on the internet point out someone else who is to blame. It is always someone else doing something wrong that is a problem for everyone else. They should be stopped, locked up or shot. It seems the solutions proffered, for the most part, come from hostility, scarcity thinking, fear, and retribution. It is them against us.

The focus is always on the other person, the other nation, the other one who is causing all the bad, or evil and how they need to be severely dealt with. We have war on poverty, drugs, illiteracy, homelessness, the list is endless AND what have we ever solved.

Are we richer, better off, healthier, do more people have homes, use less drugs, read more books? It doesn’t seem to be the case. We still have right against left accusing each other of overspending, underspending, grift, self interest, fraud, cover-ups and more. Frankly, it is not bound to end anytime soon.

Some people think we need a unifying event. A world calamity, aliens revealed before we all come together as the single species we are and work together for the benefit of all. I am not sure even that would help as most likely we would declare war on the aliens too.

So what do I think might help? I am not sure what the answers are that would please anyone. I don’t think you can provide a single answer. I do think that we have tried big dramatic things with little or no results. I am not sure any of us are ultimately better off for any war the world’s people have engaged in, though I am certain you will find proponents for each of them.

I don’t think declaring war and doing what we have done, threatening, drawing lines in the sand, getting tough, you know we need tough love or tougher approaches, has worked very well either.

Certainly, in some cases we are better off in some ways for some attempts while in other cases, in other ways we are worse off because of some attempts. It is never clear cut, it is never absolutely one way or the other. This kind of thinking seems to be part of the problem.

‘There is a knat problem here hall out the bazookas and blast them.’ Not only do we use overkill, but the saying ‘if you only have a hammer you treat everything as a nail’ seems to apply to many of us and to many of those in power. We try the same approach on everyone and everything.

My approach is a bit different. I believe we are better served inching our way toward what we want and making positive incremental changes good for most everyone that to try caustic dramatic measures that leave damage in its wake.

Who the heck would  come up with a  term like ‘collateral damage’ EXCEPT to make it  palatable and acceptable. It isn’t in any case.

So why am I a proponent for positive thinking. I thought you would never ask and I might never get around to it.

Here is why:

When you make your life incredible and fill it with joy and love and peace and harmony you are too busy having a good time to wish others ill will. When you live from fulness and abundance you don’t have to horde or fear that someone else may get your share.

When you manifest your dreams and discover the joys of this world and you wish the same for others the world becomes a better place because the people in it wish well for all.

If you can be positive others can be too.

Let me make a base argument here if I may. If I am having incredible sex with someone I am not trying to prevent anyone else in the building from doing the same at the same time. It is only when someone else has something we want that it becomes an problem.

If every atom of your being is radiating with light and love and fulfillment you won’t be causing anyone else any trouble.

It seems much of this world, the issues, can be boiled down to this simplistic way to think – I don’t have what they have and I want theirs so I will take it OR someone is after what I have and I won’t let them take it.

I mean really isn’t that the bottom line.  We want their land, food, water, oil, money, resources or whatever because then we will be better off or we fear that someone is after what we have and will rob us of it. Whether we are robbed at gun point or through social welfare someone will take from us what we think is ours.

The neighbor has a better car, boat, house, husband or wife and we feel bad. Their kids are smarter or better looking and we feel bad. It we compare all the time in a one up one down fashion we are bound to not feel well much of the time. There will always be those who have more. SO WHAT?

No matter how many times it is pointed out you can not take it with you we still act as what we have is actually ours.

Maybe we would be far better off world wide if we realized we are on borrowed time and all these ‘things’ we only get to enjoy temporarily. They do not belong to us.

Maybe, instead of acting as if we are entitled to anything we should act as temporary stewards and protectors of all these things.

I am all for people having as much wealth as they can accumulate. I do think the world is abundant but I don’t find hording all the wealth a good thing. I think it is important to realize we are all in this together.

People claim they worked hard for their money. True, some have. Still, no one makes it alone. If you worked hard to manufacture and advertise widgits and you made a fortune you did not do it alone. Scores of people helped all along the way from idea to consumer. Everyone is partly responsible for your success. To think otherwise is RCV vision. RCV stands for rectal canal vision or it means you have your head up…

We are all in it together. Some play harder than others, some seem not to be in the game hardly at all, but we are all here together. Seems to me we ought to figure out BY THIS TIME how to get along and play nice.

To exclude anyone for any reason seems wrong to me. We hear the tales of old of pillaging and raping and killing villagers to get the spoils and we still do this today in other lands, in our own lands and neighborhoods and to our environment. We horde and scar and waste.

Why might this be? I think greed and fear. If you are afraid there won’t be enough to survive or thrive or WHATEVER you act differently than when you know there is plenty. When you are physically starving you may take drastic measures to insure your survival AND I UNDERSTAND THAT. That makes a lot of sense. Your survival mechanism kicks in and you may do anything you might otherwise not do.

Fight or Flight in the jungle, the real jungle or the urban jungle makes sense. Predatory beasts seeking food might eat you. So you either flee if you can or you fight to survive. You do whatever you think will maximize your chances.

The problem is we live in a world where there IS actually enough for everyone even though our populations have swelled, yet, political forces have prevented people from having access to food, clean water, energy, territory, resources, money you name it. The greedy have divided up the world. You wouldn’t do that unless you were just basically greedy or you feared their would not be enough for you. Yes, yes, some want world domination I am sure.

The bottom line is much of the accumulation comes from fear in some form.  If you aren’t afraid and you know everything is plentiful you don’t have to act as you have been acting.

It may seem trivial to state the obvious, these people do these horrible things because they either think they have to or because they think it is enjoyable. Yes, I reduced it to a couple choices, I know,

When you think about it people are fighting for what they believe is scare. How would most of us know if anything is actually scares. You have direct experience with it. The poor person starving in some country because their government won’t let them eat or produce food has direct access.  The rest of us only hear about it. BUT because we hear about it we may think that is true everywhere. We may over generalize and think food stocks are scare in many places. We may then start to horde because of the impending zombie apocalypse and create fall out shelters and arm ourselves so that if our neighbors needs some food we can shoot them too.

The problem as I see it is things, thinking get exaggerated and blow into fears. I suspect some people want us to be afraid for their own purposes, or divided and at odds about anything, doesn’t matter what we argue about, just that we argue.

It’s just that if we think the other person is the enemy, then we will never unite, never come together or collaborate, we will never be cohesive and accomplish anything. Maybe, it doesn’t require anyone orchestrating this at all, maybe it is just what we end up doing all on our own because of our thinking.

So I believe our thinking needs adjustment more than the real world out there needs adjustment. OR said differently, I believe that if we think better, smarter, wiser, more optimistically we will get better results because we may find better methods for improving our world than all those we have tried unsuccessfully so far.

I am a proponent for thinking that  the more power you have the more responsibility you have. I think we should be accountable for our actions and want to create a better place for all. I think we should seek to find ways to make more pies instead of dividing up the ones we have. There is plenty for everyone but not in the minds of all. In some minds, and they may be very poor or very rich, they seem to think that there is not enough, or that they must fight to get everything they can. See you can be very rich and have a very poor mentality.

People who are carving up the world and the lives of others aren’t operating from the highest intentions, the most positive frames of mind. They aren’t thinking what is good for the goose IS ALSO good for the gander so lets spread it around. IT IS precisely the mindset that IS the issue. It is how we think and what we think that makes all the difference.

Do any of us think we would be facing many of the problems we do if everyone had embraced the ‘Do unto others as you would have others do unto you’ philosophy? Would we have any of these issues if we all adopted the love your brother, turn the cheek, forgive and take care of the least of these… ?

My guess is we would not. Hey, I am not spouting religion here I am making a point. If we all had a better positive mind set and philosophy might not we all be better off? Would we have violated the planet and each other if we loved and cared for the planet and each other? I think not.

Still, someone is bound to be saying right now, ‘wow yeah, fer sure, but not everyone thinks like that, there will always be self centered greedy asses, there will always be poor people, there will always be problems…’ and yes there will be. The fact that there is opposition to our thinking doesn’t mean we shouldn’t think it.

What it means to me is that  I am responsible to me.

I want to have the best life and best of everything possible.

I want everything I can lay claim to but not at the point of depriving others what they too could have. If we ever got down to the ‘last cookie scenario’ I’d like to think I would be willing to share it with whomever is huddling in the bunker with me. If it were my kids they would absolutely get it. I would go without.

As many parents I love my kids I want the best for them. In a situation such as that they would get my share of the cookie. Yes, I also understand the notion of putting on you breathing mask first in the plane as it plummets before helping your child, so that you might actually BE ABLE TO help your child.

Nothing is cut and dried. I certainly don’t have an ultimate answer. I do not propose to solve any of the world’s problems. What I hope to do is inspire people to be kinder and gentler to themselves and more accepting of others and circumstances.

We haven’t yet actually embraced the notion that all the people on this planet ARE exactly the equivalent of a group of people in a life boat on the ocean. We haven’t have, have we? We are though, traveling through space on a vehicle too vast to realize we are all in it (on it) together. We are all, every single one of us, traveling in the exact same direction at the very same time.

We are all in the boat, whether at sea or in space.

Doesn’t it make sense that at some point in time we will have to figure out how to best get along and distribute our resources to maximize our time alive.

The key for me, AND BELIEVE ME, I know and understand the limitations of examples and analogies, they serve a useful purpose but they never address all the counter points that could be brought up, they are imperfect vehicles, as I am, the key for me is to be nicer to self and others while we have the opportunity.

Maybe, just maybe, one by one we will change the world. Maybe we won’t. We never will if we do nothing that is guaranteed.  So I think things do go better with positivity. I do think we are better off when we think about what we may do to make our life and the lives of others better.  I think we would all best be served by wanting to make sure the planet was better off. It is simple, instead of taking always, we gave something first.

If everyone decided to always leave another person better off than when we encountered the person we would be mutually benefiting each other in win/win ways. I am all for starting small, doing things we can do a little bit each day.

Some people on January 1 join a gym with the intention of working out and getting healthy. They have every intention, but then life, appointments, family or other things take precedence. Unused gym memberships is a multi-million dollar business. They get caught up or they over do at the start and they are sore and have to take off time to recover or it is just too much on their plate and so they stop.

It would be better if they found some small exercise they could do at home, work or the office, even the car that they could repeat through each day of the week, then to do nothing at all. They would make progress more slowly it is true, but much more quickly than no progress at all.

Yes, for me it is ALL ABOUT mind set. Everything begins with a thought. Every human invention or endeavor is the result of some one and others thinking about it, conceiving it and bringing it to be.

Napoleon Hill said, ‘If you can conceive it and believe it you can achieve it’

I don’t think our issue is as much being able to conceive it as one might think. I think plenty of us can conceive of a more loving, kind, peaceful world where all get along and have plenty.

Still, I am sure there a countless numbers who can not imagine it. If you can’t imagine it how could you ever bring it about. You couldn’t because you wouldn’t even know it as possible. So yes, some can conceive it, others can’t.

I think the bigger opportunity for us is believing it. You see, there are those who can’t conceive it and hence don’t even entertain believing it because it is outside their awareness. Never enters their minds.

THEN, there are those who can and DO conceive of it and dream of a better world but just can’t bring themselves to believe it is possible. It is beyond their ability to believe it.

Finally, there are those who can conceive of it and who are able to believe it. They believe there can be a better world. Fewer in number though, I am sure.

If we think getting everyone to conceive and believe it IS impossible it certainly will be.

If we focus on what we don’t have and where the trouble is that isn’t going to help.

So the question is: What do we do, what can we do to get more people on the same positive page each day?

What actions can we individually take, and together take, that will result in more of us able to conceive of a better world, and believe that we can create it no matter what opposition we face?

What can I do to make the world a better place today?

What can I do to make another’s life better?

What can I do today to make my life better?

I started with the world and brought it back to WHAT CAN I DO.

I think the questions we ask IS the starting place.

Good positive questions can help us find answers.  We have to begin.

We have to ask wise and useful questions – a better class of questions to guide us toward what we ultimately want.

It is easy to say no, to claim never, and to do nothing. It is another thing to stay open to possibility. I don’t think we change the world all at once, people have tried through various means. They are still trying and we are still being inundated by their attempts.

While terrible things occur, there are wonderful things occurring too.

The world is smaller today because of media and we have immediate access to all the woes of the world 24/7. Now, more than ever. In the past are were influenced by  bad news much more slowly as it traveled by word of mouth over great distances. Later newspapers informed groups of people eventually becoming a faster news source. Then radio, then television, now all of those plus the internet. impinge on us daily.

We can’t escape bad news. It is on TV, streaming, internet, Facebook, twitter, you name it is spreads virally like wild fire. Nothing travels as fast as bad news. Still, there is good news in the world. We should remember that. Actually, maybe we should focus on that more than the bad news. Have you considered that? Maybe the world ISN’T as bad as we are lead to believe.

As I have mentioned, it is not about ignoring that which needs changing, but it is about becoming more intelligent how we go about changing it.

One of the things we need to do is to determine what we want to pay attention to and what we want to be influenced by. I don’t isolate myself from news, some people do, but I aim my mind at finding the best I can in a bad situation. I spend most of my time seeking out the cool wonderful things to pay attention to and appreciate rather than the bad things. I want more good stuff and less bad stuff AND I want the bad stuff to get resolved in positive ways.

What to do? For me, I decided, the least I could do was get my own house in order. Get my positive mind set on. I think if I can discover that the world is an incredible place with enough for everyone maybe someone else can too.

It all begins with a thought and it all begins with me. It is up to each of us to recognize that. So while I asked those questions earlier from what can I do to improve the world to what can I do to improve me the actual effective order is from smaller to larger, from local to global. Take care of your own home first, then neighborhood,  the community and so on.

What started out yesterday, as a short statement to say hope you enjoy the blog, it is not written expertly, morphed into this longer post about why the blog.

The purpose of this blog is to spread a little joy and possibility thinking each and everyday.

Hopefully, some will read something I share and then and recognize something good about themselves that they may have forgotten. Perhaps, someone will find more things to appreciate and be grateful for. Maybe someone will aim toward something higher, or set an important goal and take steps toward attaining it.

The blog hopefully, will help the reader recognize the good things that make the reader a valuable person. I hope it will provide for each of us a thought or inspiration  that may wake us up to a new positive possibilities in us and around us.

I hope it becomes food for  us to make ourselves, others and the world around us just a little bit more wonderful each day. We can do it bite by bite.” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

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Train Your Mind – It Works!!! Part 2

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“… I discovered that the wonderful things don’t come from having more things. It comes from being more wonderful. It comes from having less stress, depression, anxiety, anger, frustration. It comes from taking the bull by the horns and deciding to do something for myself and to keep on doing it no matter what. I decided I would  never ever quit or give up. If I had to boot strap it I would, if the going got tough if I had to be tough I would get going. I decided that the end result was worth the price, whatever that price was I had to pay. AND it is! I am getting so much more back than I pay for it is incredible!

Part 2

I have used the analogy of a buffet. You put on your plate what you like and enjoy, that which brings you pleasure and whatever you don’t want or don’t like you leave it on the buffet table. You delight in what is on your plate.  You don’t sit there thinking about the food you do not care for. You do not lament that you don’t like brussel sprouts, or broccoli or whatever. I mean, this should make sense to most people I would think. At the buffet you focus on enjoying what you like. You go to get the foods you like not to worry about what you don’t want. You never even give it a second thought.

I have learned to treat myself as if a baby or at best a toddler. I have a pet phrase I have used for decades when conducting seminars and workshops and that is, ‘You don’t punt the baby’. When you have a child learning motor skills, whether learning to walk or feed itself, you nurture and encourage the child, you get all excited and act weird. If the child falls or misses its mouth with a spoon you don’t punt it out of the room and scream at it and shame it, you don’t if you love it. No, you encourage it to continue in the behavior you want the child to learn. When the child does anything close to what you want it to learn you get wildly enthusiastic, goofy even so that the child feels wonderful.

So when I screw up I  think of myself as a baby learning anything new and encourage myself instead of criticizing myself. Instead of thinking of myself as stupid or useless and never able to learn, I celebrate the awareness I have that I recognized I was off base, and give myself a pat on the back. Then gently, positively I steer myself back on track. It is much nicer being gentle, loving and kind to me. Hey, I was an expert in self criticism I just decided to stop that and do something better for myself.

See, I am just making my way through this world like anyone else. I decided though at one point that  I was going to act as if I were totally in charge of everything that happens to me, whether that is actually the case or not. Did you read that and get it. I decided to act as if I were totally in charge of everything. In control, me and no one else. That means I alone am accountable and responsible for everything good and bad. It means I am the creator, everything I have or don’t have is because of me. (Whether this is actually true or not, I decided I was going to adopt this frame of mind and live as IF IT IS the case).

What happened when I began to live this way is everything changed. It is as if I am actually in charge. I create everything. Good, bad I create it.

Whether this is true or not doesn’t matter to me. Let’s say I am pretending to be in charge. By pretending to be in charge I am making positive choices for myself every moment I can.

Why?

Because I am the person in charge. I am the creator so I need to decide what I want. I need to decided how I want to think and feel. I decided what I want to be, who I am and what I do and have. It is all up to me. Since I AM IN CHARGE I  chose the very best.

When things happen I chose how to respond. I determine what I will pay attention to and focus on and feel.

Do you know what? I am a work in process. Sometimes I do better than at other times but, as I have stated, I adjust for it and gently steer back. Yes, I repeated myself because I am attempting to point out, as all my friends and family know, I am not perfect. I am not perfect by any means but now I have choice.

It is absolutely freeing.

Instead of blaming others, I look at what I can adjust about myself to think or feel better about it. I put a guardian at the gate, and make it a point to only think and speak about things that bless, heal and help prosper. I am protective of my thoughts and feelings. I like the positive attitude and the feelings that come from it so I want to preserve these and encourage these. I want more of it.

It wasn’t easy to begin thinking and doing these things but it is easier now. I have trained my mind to find the good in every situation. I have trained my mind to be my own best friend and to act in my own best interests instead of running wild or acting randomly. I have trained my mind.

I like it when I write that or say ‘I have trained my mind’, because at one time I was a victim of my own thoughts and feelings.  NOW I have choices. Actually, I may have always had the same choices and others available, but I was unaware of them so I never chose them. Previously, I did not know to exercise my choices. Now I do and now I choose.

I said before that when things go awry and crap happens I don’t have to choose to be unhappy. I can choose to be happy regardless of what is going on. If all of everything around me is crumbling it DOES NOT MEAN that I have to be unhappy about it. It doesn’t mean that at all because I have learned that my real happiness is not related to what happens but rather to who I am. It is who I am not what goes on where my happiness is.

I stay focused on creating what I want, attracting it and manifesting it. Call it what you want, I stay focused on what I want to be and have instead of noticing what isn’t there yet. I learned that if I worry I attract and/or create more worry. Unhappiness attracts more unhappiness. Worrying about not having enough money doesn’t help me have or create more money it only keeps me in a state of poverty. Being dissatisfied only creates less satisfaction.

Instead I focus on what I want. I focus on being happy because happiness creates more happiness. Love attracts more love, gratitude attracts more gratitude, kindness attracts more kindness. I want to fill my life with what I want, I want to become these, feel these and have theses. Success attracts more success, money attracts more money, peace attracts more peace. So I focus on these, am grateful for these and think on these things. We become what we think about.

So even when things are not presently going my way, my training is to stay focuses on what I want to create instead of what I don’t want. I stay focused on what I want to become and do and have instead of what I don’t have. This keeps me in an action phase and provides me with the opportunity to continue to move forward instead of wallowing in being stuck and forlorn.

Maybe, all I am thinking and doing is a fantasy, a lie, a delusion. So what?

If everything I am thinking is a lie, I prefer it this way.

Some people talk about the law of attraction, they say ‘be positive, think what you want and you will attract it, the universe will provide’. That scared me because I used to think ‘well what if I think it and it doesn’t happen then I will only be more disappointed.’ I did, I acutally used to think that.

I used to think, ‘ok I will think be positive, but I don’t want any religious infinite intelligence talk, or god is good talk, I don’t want to go there , I just want to make good things happen for me’. So don’t get metaphysical or magical with me, I don’t want to be surrounded by purple protective bubbles and amulets. I want practical, down to earth, scientific, everyday reality sort of thinking that if I engage in it is sure to happen so I won’t be disappointed.

You know what I found? Magic but not the new agey wacky flavor of the moment magic but real true transformative magic. I found that if I want it to be it is actually up to me. It is up to how I think and how I feel and what I do. It is up to me to create a plan, utilize my resources, partner with others and wish all good things because when I do I create for myself a better way to move through the world.

When I am feeling positive and wishing others well I am attracting positive feeling people who also wish others well. I am resonating with other like minded people who are seeking positive opportunities to create wonderful things in their own lives and the lives of others.

The magic isn’t outer magic it is inner magic. Inner magic relies on oneself to make adjustments in positive ways instead of expecting the world to conform to your wishes. Inner magic is about having control over yourself so that you think and act more clearly and are thus better able to recognize opportunities as they occur. Inner magic is being true to oneself and living positively no matter what occurs around oneself.  There is real magic but it isn’t the kind of fairy tale magic we grew up hoping for.

I am no expert. I live my life day to day.

I have more choices available to me now than ever before. Sometimes, I chose wisely and other times I don’t. Whenever, I find myself off track I steer back on and appreciate that I discovered I was off track. IN itself, this is a powerful way for me to live. I am now able to positively self correct instead of negatively beating myself up when off course.

When I am not busy self correcting on the course I am busy enjoying the journey. I am busy appreciating myself and the people around me. I find small and large things to be thankful for throughout the day and that contributes to my overall well being. The journey is no longer a burden but a pleasure. Instead of looking for mistakes, things that are wrong or unjust I look for miracles each day, large or small, to celebrate. Why? Because we get what we focus on. We attract or we create what we think about. Do you get it? If not, some day you will.

We become whatever we think about. What we can conceive and believe we can achieve. Whatever feelings I am feeling today inside of me I am attracting tomorrow. So I fill my mind with what I want for myself and that includes for others. I fill my mind and my being with  more happiness, love, peace, acceptance, joy, confidence, competence, talents and abilities, health, wealth, positive power and achievement.

I concentrate on these things. I daydream about them.  I make it a point to see them, entertain them in my mind. I talk about them to myself, and I fill my moments with as much that is good and feels good and benefits myself and everyone as I am able. I know more will come tomorrow because of what I am doing today.

I have trained my mind.

No, I am not perfect, nope not at all. Don’t have to be. I am happier, healthier, wealthier all around better off because I feel more joy, acceptance, love, enjoyment and all sorts of marvelous things. Life is grand. I am so happy I decided to train my mind. It is more than worth it, it is ever so valuable. It is absolutely priceless  because no matter what effort it takes to train it, you get back so much more, infinitely more!

What I discovered when I decided to train my mind is that it works! It really, truly, actually works.” Rex Sikes

More to come, enjoy the day. Discover what you might do today to begin to find more incredible ways to appreciate each moment. Delight and celebrate.

By the way – as you read these blogs, if they speak to your heart, I hope you will implement what I have been sharing. It is life transformative. Go back and read these blogs again and again.

Fill your mind with positive messages and become inspired. Inspire others too! Share and help others feel better not just because you get back what you put out there but just because… celebrate and enjoy!

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train your mind to see good

 

 

 

 

Don’t Let The Past Or The Present Define You – You Are So Much More!

sometimes smallest step is biggest step

Consider this, regardless of how bad it may have been, how difficult you have had it, you have made it through those times. You have! You have come this far in spite of everything attempting to hold you back. Whatever mistakes you may have made, poor decisions, ‘failures’ and disappointments you have had, any tragedies you encountered you still have made it to this moment, to right now. That is incredible because no matter what the odds have been you are here right now, and that is a testament to your ability to persist. Through everything you have stayed in there and made it through.

You may never have thought to do this, but you should pat yourself on the back, congratulate yourself and give yourself a big huge. It is time to celebrate all of this as an accomplishment. It is time to begin to see it differently in your mind’s eye and recognize the seeds of success all along the way. The journey may have been arduous but you have continued on AND you are still taking steps forward.

There is only one thing you need to understand. First, you are strong and you are tenacious. Though you may not have yet realized it you are stubborn enough to succeed at anything you put your mind to. Tough times build character. You have proven yourself tough too. Congratulations!

Second, do not let the past define you. Do not give power to the mistakes of the past. That is behind you. Since you have overcome significant challenges in the past build on that. Recognize this about yourself and BUILD on it.

Don’t let the present moment disappointments define you either. Do not let whatever is going on right now concern you. Instead think about the life you want to have instead. If you could make your greatest dream come true what would that be? What is it that would excite you and make you ecstatic? Picture this in your mind and focus on it.

No matter what is happening now that may be less than glorious, shift your focus to the time ahead. Be open to the possibility that things can get better for you. Be willing to explore a new way of being, and doing, and having.

It takes a mind that is willing to explore possibilities and expand options. Ask yourself what you might think and do differently. If you want things in your life to change you have to change things in your life. What can you begin to think and do differently that can move you in a positive direction? Build on this and realize you can accomplish so much more when you concentrate on the positive resources inside of you.

Our problems are not the problem! It is our thinking about our problems that is the problem. It is what we entertain and what we keep in our mind and how we are focused. Whatever we focus on expands, whatever we focus on is what we get. What we think about is what we become. Do not focus on past or present day limitations instead focus on what you want and how you can and will attain it. Have faith, keep believing and expecting it to get better. It will. Believe it!

Create wonderful thoughts and feelings about the future and imagine having all of it right now. Focus on these thoughts and these feelings. Find things to be grateful about and find the most wonderful good feelings you are able to. Nurture these, promote these. Keep doing this again and again.

Even a small change in the right direction is better than no change at all. If you are really sad it does not mean you have to feel overwhelming joy right now. Right now that may be too big a step. Find out what you can feel that would make you feel a bit better. Maybe that would be feeling anger or frustration or bored. Whatever is a baby step or two away from really sad IS a baby step toward finding that joy. inch yourself there if you must, but you must begin to inch away from the less than glorious feelings. Move yourself ever so slightly in the positive direction.

People talk about the Law of Attraction but the LOA is second to the Law of Vibration. How you are vibrating is what you are attracting. If you are filled with doubt, anxiety, fear and depression you tend to attract more or create more of these in your life. It is a downward spiral. When instead, you are filled with positive, powerful, joyful energy you are more in the right place to go after and get what you want to have.

It isn’t important to me whether it is about ‘vibrations’ at all. Some people find that concept to cosmic. I could care less. It is just words used to describe processes, so why get hung up over the choice of words.

I just understand that when I am feeling optimal I bring my best game to life and when I am not optimal things seem less than glorious. It is a simple concept to understand. Feel good and you get more good feelings, feel bad and you get more bad feelings. You are better off and more productive when feeling good and worse off and less productive when feeling bad. Get it.

Feeling good works better for us than feeling bad. SO find the ways and means to feel better. It is up to you, no one else can do it for you. It is not out of your hands, no cosmic zapper is going to fill you with great things magically. If you want to feel better you have to chose to take control. You have to decide to begin to act in your own best interests even if it is difficult. Start small, the pay off is huge. BUT YOU HAVE TO START. If you don’t you will keep on getting what you have been getting. It is that simple. It is that straightforward.

You want you life to change you have to change some things in your life!!!

Exercise, play, sing, dance, think better, walk, garden, meditate, repeat affirmations (the correct way would be useful) whatever you have to do to begin to feel better and think better more of the time – begin now to do it.

Thoughts and feelings go hand in hand. Your thoughts affect your feelings, you CAN think yourself happier it is true! AND your feelings affect your thoughts – you CAN change your body and activities and discover that you think more positively by how you stand, sit, walk or move. It is true! Let’s forget the chicken egg exploration about thoughts and feelings and just make it a point to do those healthy beneficial things that put us at optimum more of the time. You do want to feel better more of the time, don’t you?

When we feel optimum more of the time we do better more of the time.

Don’t try to bite off more than you can chew just make it a point to feel better a little bit more each day. When you do you will discover amazing things await you. You will think and feel and do better. If you fall off the positivity wagon don’t get all dramatic about it just get back on and proceed from there. Keep it simple, easy, manageable and keep doing it. Take baby steps in the direction of your dreams and keep taking them on a daily basis. Repetition is the mother of skill. Give birth to new habits by doing things that are good for you over and over and over again.

The change will take place inside you before you notice it on the outside. For mot of us the changes are gradual. Be patient, allow it, accept everything in a spirit of gratitude, and keep at it. Have fun, relax about it. It is much more FUN and easy when you let it be that way. So approach it in a light and gentle way.

Look at how you are thinking and feeling and behaving differently and more positively and nurture and encourage and celebrate this. Recognize and validate your positive baby steps!

Think Law of Attraction now. When you do these positive things you ARE vibrating more positively, more powerfully and energetically and so you attract, create or get back more of the same. It increases. Notice it and own your observations. Play with it and stay with it!

Allow yourself to move forward without judging or criticizing. Accept wherever you are along the way and have faith that as you continue to move forward in a positive way you will become more positive and more able. Your abilities will grow. Don’t be impatient. Stick with it and trust. Move forward with your eyes on what you are creating and attracting, not on whatever isn’t working right now. Celebrate all. Celebrate everything and you will get through the now and move into your dreams and make them come true.

Decree your destiny and make it happen. Build the image of what you want. See who you are, the positive powerful you. See what you are doing, behaving, how you are living and feeling wonderful. See what things you have included in your new life. Run these movies in your head. Infuse these images with positive wonderful feelings. It is the combination of the positive movies and positive feelings that work to make your future image come true.

A major point here: We already do this all the time. We think things good or bad and feel good or bad about them. For example, we fear something happening, we feel anxious about it or dread that something bad is going to happen. It does and we feel worse. We try to think positive and we do. As a result we feel a little bit better but then we think about something bad or how something is less than glorious and then we feel bad again. By doing this we create what we don’t want and we perpetuate it because we vacillate back and forth. We get hopeful and then doubt that things will change then feel bad and when things don’t change we think, ‘yup I knew it’. It is a form of self fulfilling prophecy. Our expectations were that it wouldn’t work out anyway. This limited thinking and lack of commitment keeps us where we don’t want to be.

This cycle keeps us in limbo:  We think about what we want and feel good for while. Then at some point we begin to doubt that we can get it and we start feeling bad about how we are not getting what we want. We then again think about what we want and feel worse because we feel far away. On another day we feel hopeful and positive and work towards what we want again, but then something happens and we feel feel bad and hopeless.  This goes on and on. We are like a ship tossed about on the sea, or a cork bobbing in the water. Instead of being in control and moving toward our destination we get closer and then move further away constantly. We never make any real motion towards accomplishing our goals.

We need to commit to what we want and concentrate on it to the exclusion of all else.

We need to stay focused on it no matter what else may currently be going on. We need to think again and again what we want and not let other thoughts intrude. To be able to do this means we have to take charge of our own thinking and feeling processes. For many people THIS CONEPT will seem most foreign because most of us do not grow up being told we are in charge. Instead we think ‘things happen’ and we have to feel certain ways because of these things happening. We don’t, we just think we do. That is why our problems are not the problem, but how we THINK about our problems IS the problem.

What we think about most often during the day is what we become and what we get. What we think about most of the time is what we become and what we get. Are we mostly positive or mostly negative, 51/49, 60/40, 80/20, 90/10? What we are mostly determines what we get. So decide to tip the balance in your favor. 50/50 keeps us exactly where we are. Move to 80/20 positivity.

You create your life by what you think and feel most of the time. It is a growth process. Just like growing a plant it takes time for it to get strong so be patient with yourself. It is most likely not going to happen over night, but then, who knows? Just remember, this is not a contest, you are simply out to improve your life and your conditions in a positive way so have fun and be positive about it.

Just keep advancing constantly in the direction of your dreams. Thoreau stated, ‘If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours’.

You can make your life anything you want it to be. Go ahead dream big that is fine. Just move forward toward your big dreams steadily. If you chose a big dream and you can’t yet believe you can make it happen, pick something smaller and more likely and go for that first. Better to trick yourself into it than out of it. If you pick something you don’t believe fully and you 50/50 vacillate on it you end up staying stuck. So pick something you can work on and get! Once you have that move on to something else. Create a track record of successes for yourself until you are ready to believe you can make the big one happen. Once you can conceive it AND BELIVE IT you can achieve it!

You can chose to do this. It is your life. You are the co-creator in your life. Ask yourself, “Where do I want to go from here?”

What do you want to be? What do you want to become? What do you want to do? What do you want to have? What is truly important to you?  If you could have the perfect life, where you had everything you want and all those around you had what they wanted, (no one is harmed or deprived by you getting your goals) what would it be like? Imagine it, live it in your mind’s eye, improve on the images, tailor the movie, and feel how good it feels to have all this?

THE FEELINGS ARE CRITICAL they drive the entire mechanisms. If you don’t feel like you deserve it, or that you can have it yet, or believe that will get it, you have other work to do first. If when you think about it you feel a huge YES inside and eagerly anticipate it coming to be, and you believe it and know that it will definitely happen, THEN that is for you. As long as everyone else experiences well being too you are on the right track.

Feelings are a signal for us. Our feelings let us know where we  need work or what we need to change. Less than glorious feelings are only an indication that something needs to change. It is a way to get our attention so we can get back on track, to feel better and feel more harmonious inside. We want to feel inner harmony with ourselves AND it is important to feel harmony with others as well. So don’t create waves for yourself or others. Use your feelings to guide you back to the positive. Take baby steps back towards feeling good.

Again, this is where you must, and ONLY YOU can, make changes to change things for the better. Take a walk, read inspirational material, talk it out and let it go, work in a garden, dance, if you hurt someone or are feeling guilty do whatever you can to repair the situation or make restitution, own up, sing, celebrate, shift into gratitude and focus on what can be done that is positive. Whatever baby step is necessary to free oneself from the less than glorious feelings and move incrementally toward more positive feelings you must take. You may only inch forward BUT that is valuable, inching forward IS what you want to be able to do.

Better to inch forward than remain stuck. So don’t worry about whether it is enough, just move forward.

So when feel down do something to feel better. If you feel angry or frustrated or guilty or confused there is something you can to do to feel better. Remember, take feelings as an SIGNAL that you can shift something you are thinking about, or focusing on, or doing.

At any moment you can decide to revolutionize your life.

You can ask yourself, ‘What can I do, what could I do, what should I do or what must I do, or what will I do that will move me closer to my dream?’ ‘What is the first step I can take to move me in a powerful positive direction?’ Ask yourself. Consider what small steps you can consistently take that move you closer to achieving your goal.

If it is going to happen it will be up to you and no one else. So you must engage these processes and do the work. I remind you to be gentle, have fun, notice what you notice, play and keep at it.

You have come this far. Perhaps, you went through some hell to get to today. No matter what you have gone through you have succeeded in getting this far. The journey continues and you can decide now where you want to go. Set a positive destination and go towards it. That is what explorers do. Sailors, pilots, vacationers, all decide where they want to go and then they go to it.

You will get there as long as you do not stop short. As long as you continue all along the way you will arrive at your destination. Whether the way there is delightful or not is also up to you. It is your decision. So decide now where you want to go and how you want to get there. Then do it and keep on doing it. Enjoy the adventure and make all your dreams come true.” Rex Sikes

Have an incredible day! Enjoy and make it wonderful for you and others.

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Train Your Mind – It Works!!! Part 1

train your mind to see good

For some of us it is difficult to believe there is good in everything. Sometimes it seems there is just no good to go around, life is difficult and bad things happen.

I think of it this way. Before humans walked the planet events came and went. Some days were gorgeous some filled with calamity. Whatever happened happened. There was no one to label it, to judge it, to call it good or bad. Things occurred.

Some day I will take another form whatever that may be. I will no longer walk the planet so I won’t be around to comment on whether events are good or bad, right or wrong. They will go on without my commentary or criticism.

Since that is the case why should I waste my time while I am here. Isn’t there a better, a wiser use of my time? Wouldn’t I be better off not digging in despair whether the events are personal or global? Life is short. Life is way, way too short, as far as I am concerned, so I want to find a way to maximize the little time on the globe as best I can.

I decided at one time that if I was going to live on the planet I deserved to live in paradise. Whatever the situation is I wanted it to be paradise. What I found when I told others that many said it was not possible given the world and current state of affairs. They would say things like, ‘well there will always be suffering’. They said many things and I heard from many people through the years and the attitude seemed to be’ life was short, you struggle, try to be happy live a good life, hurt no one and die and hope there is an afterlife and that you may be rewarded’.

I thought this is not the way I want to go through my days. It took me some time, a lot of time actually, but one day I decided to decide how I wanted to think about things. I decided, whether it is accurate or not, that I create my experience. Yes, there is much scientific evidence to prove this to be true.  Regardless, of whether it is true or not I decided that I create my experience.

I determined I had created a lot of crap in my life and some good things. I looked at me, my life and it occurred to me that I always got what I wanted and what I thought about.

My worst fears seemed to come true. If I was anxious or depressed about something it was harder to move through the world. If I worried about money I never seemed to have enough. Perhaps, it was a chicken and egg thing, and I wasn’t sure what came first. Did I not have money so I worried about it or because I worried about money I never had any. I wasn’t certain, but I decided not to care.

I decided that I would control my thinking. I would endeavor to think the best about myself, my circumstances, my future, the people around me, my  family, friends, and even strangers. I would strive to maintain a positive focus. I would concentrate on finding the good in everything as much as I am able. I would find the best in everything and everyone.

It was not always easy, it still isn’t always easy. Sometimes there are challenges and it seems like I may lose my way. I get sidetracked or off course, caught up and I forget what is important and I get hooked. At some point I realize it is my decision. You know it is kind of like a guilty pleasure, but without the pleasure part. You know, , when you know you shouldn’t be doing something but you do it anyway.

Whatever it is,  maybe you shouldn’t have that extra helping but you just have too, or you sneak an extra piece of chocolate. You feel guilty. Maybe, guilty isn’t exactly the right word.  It isn’t guilt sometimes it is just that you just know there is a better way of being or thinking or behaving.  It is like that, at some point, I become aware that I am off base and I need to get back on. I know it is up to me.  Sometimes I don’t feel like correcting myself, but I do it anyway (because I have since learned how to). I course correct.

I have learned that just because things are going on around me that are not to my liking, even if everything is crumbling, I do not have to think negative thoughts, or feel bad or respond as I would have in the past. Oh, that was something else i did a lot of.  I used to live in the past aggrandizing the good old days or lamenting what was or what never came to be. I gave that up to.

I decided I need to change what I paid attention to. I realized FINALLY, that the past was over  and whether it was good or bad there was nothing I could do about it now. I could enjoy my present or not and I could plan my future or not but I could not do one thing about the past. It was over. SO I set my focus on what I wanted my future to be.

I began to think that where I am today is a result of everything I thought and felt and did or didn’t do in the past. My today is a product of my previous thinking. I am where I am because I created it. It didn’t matter to me, and it still doesn’t whether any of this is true or not. It doesn’t have to be true it really doesn’t. What it is – is useful. It is a frame of mind that I adopted as a choice so as to be able to have more control over what the results are in my life. True or not I don’t care.

So I decided to focus on where I want to be and create that instead. I focus on what I want and stay focused on that regardless of what is going on now. I imagine my future how I want it to be, I imagine I have it all in place, and this is what I concentrate on throughout each day.

In my mind I create the future I want to manifest. This was an incredible leap forward for me. Instead of living life looking back I started looking ahead. Instead of letting things happen to me I began to decide what I wanted to have happen. Instead of driving down the road looking in the rearview mirror I began to focus on my destination and how pleasantly I could get there.

I decided, I shouldn’t ignore the present that would be silly, I just don’t have to react to it as if I were a Pavlovian dog salivating to the ringing bell. I decided I would celebrate and appreciate the present. In order to that I had to think that it was worth it even when it may not seem that way. So I made it a point to look for whatever good I could find in whatever was going on and I would accentuate it.

If I experienced calamity and problems I would find whatever was good in the situation and accentuate that. Certainly, accentuating the problem or bad feelings didn’t make me think, feel or do any better but focusing on what was good did. I learned I could chose what I paid attention to. Even if my first thought was to find the bad my second thought became,  ‘ok what is good about this?’ I learned I could direct my thinking.

I found as I did this things changed for me. No, not over night but gradually. What I actually discovered was nothing changed in reality other than me and my relationship to reality and THAT actually did change everything. That may be a difficult sentence or concept to grasp right now but my life transformed.

I learned that whatever was going on I could decide how to feel and think about it. I was the one in charge. Just be cause bad things happened I didn’t have to chose to be unhappy. I lived that way for years, without choice, now I began to exercise my choices. When I became the person who chose what to think and feel yes everything changed for me.

I was clearer in my thinking, I enjoyed each moment more, I found more delight in simple things, I discovered opportunities I might not have otherwise, I felt better, I was open to more things, I met new people and engaged in new activities. It was as if a whole new world opened up.

And guess what, every moment I had to decide to chose. Things came up that would have caused me to feel bad and I chose not to. Some things came up and I found myself feeling bad and thinking less than glorious thoughts but when I realized what I was doing I steered my thinking and feeling back to finding the good, celebrating and appreciating and being positive.

It is a daily duty. Heck, maybe every second I am doing it.

I found it got easier and there were longer periods of time when I felt wonderful. The down times got shorter. I got better at recognizing when I was wallowing or not serving myself well. AND that is incredible!

I had decided to treat myself as God would have me be treated. Okay, I know some will bristol here because of whatever beliefs you may have, but I decided that if there is a God and God wants the best for me why shouldn’t I want the same for myself. I deserve to have all the wonderful things.

I discovered that the wonderful things don’t come from having more things. It comes from being more wonderful. It comes from having less stress, depression, anxiety, anger, frustration. It comes from taking the bull by the horns and deciding to do something for myself and to keep on doing it no matter what. I decided I would  never ever quit or give up. If I had to boot strap it I would, if the going got tough if I had to be tough I would get going. I decided that the end result was worth the price, whatever that price was I had to pay. AND it is!

I am getting so much more back than I pay for it is incredible!” Rex Sikes

More on this next time. Meanwhile have a fabulous day!

 

“How To Make Affirmations Work For You – video

your future begins w your next thought

“Short Video Snippet from talk on “How To Make Affirmations Work For You” Use link below:

We can be the designer and architect of our lives faster, when we learn how and how simple it can be. Why struggle for a long time when you can learn to apply some small daily practices that make all the difference for your success?

Learn to steer your mind, take control in the driver’s seat and get to where you want to be in life. Now you can. How surprised and delighted would you be to discover your fine ability to make changes easily and more quickly? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to fully enjoy more of all the incredible moments and blessings offer?

Even if you don’t yet think it is possible for you, you can as you learn how.  Here is some food for thought. Enjoy!

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sx3GBNAJLPQ

Further information, articles available at http://www.idea-seminars.com/

I hope you enjoyed  this short. It is just a snippet and more will be made available on the topic in this blog so stay tuned. Be sure to follow this blog site. Please share, if you would.” Rex Sikes

 

Some Pics & Quotes

be happy for this moment

“Are you in earnest? Seize this very minute; what you can do or dream you can do, begin it! Boldness has genius, power and magic in it; only engage and then the mind grows heated; begin and then the work will be completed.” Goethe

a man sees in the world what he carries in his heart

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” Alice Walker

the one who falls and gets up

“If you think you can or you think you can’t you are right.” Henry Ford

all that we are arises with our thoughts

“Be here Now!” Ram Dass

patience and waiting

“Your circumstances my not be congenial but they will not long remain so if you perceive an ideal and strive to reach it.” James Allen

growth is

“The mind is everything. What you think you become.” Buddha

Finding Feelings

action moments

“The key to making each day the best is to look for and find the very best feelings you can find within yourself. No matter how small or seemingly insignificant find the best feeling and focus on it, accentuate it, nurture it.

Begin to wonder how delighted you can be to discover it increasing and spreading thought out your being and your experience. Encourage your best feelings and help them grow and bask in them. In doing this you are truly learning something of great importance.

You are learning you can choose to, and that you can experience the very best. Yes, it may take some time, you must be patient and expect wonderful results and stay positive.

You are training yourself in a number of important areas, scanning and looking to find the best you have and feel, focus of attention and learning to increase the feelings of well being and spreading them through your body. You are learning you actually have a say in what your experience is like.

You have a choice as to what you feel and what you encourage. These are valuable learnings because you get to have you life back, you get to make it what you want it to be. Begin today, and keep at it until you make it a habit.

You will have plenty of opportunities through out each and every day to remember to do this process. Keep at it as much as you can for a couple of months and you will have vastly improved your life.” Rex Sikes

Would you like to overcome problems and difficulties?

dark triple lightning stike offshore

 “What to do when challenges come your way and believe me they will. Small and large, expected and unexpected challenges will come at you as they always have. Many people think that because they start focusing on the positive nothing bad will happen. They think that all they will attract are golden rays of pleasant sunshine and that they will be difficulty free forever. That is not going to happen.

Even though challenges will be there in life it is still important to become a positive, resourceful person, to maintain a positive focus because you become what you think about.  When you become predominantly positive in your thinking you raise your vibratory level, you have more energy, you are able to see and take advantage of more opportunities, you have greater flexibility in behaviors and you have more resources. You are better equipped to respond to the challenges that come your way.

You do live differently. You think, feel, act, see and hear differently and since you are able to better recognize opportunity than ever before you begin to travel in new positive directions.

Still you will be challenged by situations and people. You car could break down, your bills pile up, your wife or husband, your ex, life partner, parents, children or in-laws, friends, colleagues and strangers can inflict damage all the while and, yet, you think positive. It could be easy to get discouraged at first because one expects the whole world to shift magically and that won’t happen. At least not at first.

So it is important to understand and recognize challenges for what they are. Challenges are really an opportunity to learn how to control your thinking and steer your mind. They are a signal to remind you to stay the course and hold fast to your positivity and will power.

When someone or something really becomes difficult, when you first face that big less than glorious moment, the temptation might be to give in and give up, to succumb to negative thinking, but please don’t do it. Stand fast to your commitment to find the very best thoughts to focus on.

When facing a challenge you may get caught up in, try to stop, take a breath, create a break space for yourself. Attempt to grab a moment to reflect. Sometimes this happens after that “crisis”moment. When it does, whenever it does. when you become aware that “crap” is goign on and that you don’t like it –  in that instant, that moment of awareness, make it a point to look for the silver lining in the darkness. Look for the lesson, the blessing, the seed of an opportunity in whatever hardship you face. It may not be readily apparent, but it will be there. To dismiss it and say there is none, is definitely not the wise choice. You may have to seek hard to find even the smallest positive possibility but DO IT! The ultimate long term benefits will be worth it.

Pulling oneself up by one’s own boot straps in this manner may be difficult but it also may be necessary from time to time. Whenever something upsets you look to quickly discover how you can feel differently about it. This is an important choice point for us. This is a moment when we can decide and make things stay the same or make them different and better.

In awareness opportunity is born. When, in the middle of a bad situation, you become aware that you are not responding as positively, or resourcefully asa you want begin to ask yourself questions or look for alternative ways to consider the situation.

Ask yourself questions about what you need to emphasize or extinguish that will make a positive difference in the situation? What resources do you have to overcome the difficulty? What lesson in this is there for you? Once you have gone through it successfully what might you look back and appreciate about the experience? What is good in this situation? If a person challenges you, what might they need and want but don’t know how to go about getting it, that if you could provide for them would make a difference in this moment? What are their good points to focus on? How can you appreciate this or them anyway in spite of what is going on? How quickly can you learn to not resist but accept and let go of trying to make it your way?

A key is to isolate what you pay attention to that is more positive that the disruption. Think of it this way – when sailing or driving one is constantly making adjustments to the wheel in order to stay on course. We are moving back and forth to keep moving forward. In the very same way when something comes along that is upsetting or depressing the key is to adjust back onto course as soon as you realize you are off course.

What brings you greater success in the long run is developing the ability to get right back on course when you are knocked of it. It is enhancing your correction making ability so you spend less down time in pain and suffering and more time getting where you want to go.

Forget about blaming yourself or feeling bad for going off course because that keeps you off course and sucks you into the negativity. Forget about blaming the world or the person because that keeps one off course and in victim mode.

All of us have done it. Things come up, we get caught up, we get the wind knocked out of us and then have blamed ourselves or others for falling down and not getting up right away. Forget that. Just get up and go on. Acknowledge, encourage and praise yourself that you recognized you were off course and that you DID get up. When you do this it makes it more likely the in the next tough time. Punishing yourself doesn’t help you to nurture a new skill. Recognizing and celebrating your positive awarenesses doe help develop the skill more quickly.

Be happy and celebrate that you recognized whenever it is you were off course. Plan to catch it sooner the next time. In this way we train ourselves to let go of the obstacle and look toward the solution, to leave behind the negative and move into the positive.

It is important that you understand what I am suggesting here. A challenge comes up – a problem, you acknowledge it and then look to the solution. You focus on what may be necessary or can be worked to bring it to resolution. Your focus is on making it better, not on the problem. If you recognize that there is a seed to discovering something wonderful in every challenge the challenge won’t be such a big deal. Good always can and does come from any situation when you seek to find it.

Keep this in mind too. It is not the act that is wonderful it may be horrible, bad things do happen. It is the learning, or meaning or understanding you derive from even the worst of situations that can be positive. It is the silver lining in the dark clouds you look to discover and focus on that.

It is the ability you develop to move away from the obstacle and toward the positive thinking and feeling that is a great benefit a great resource to have available. It is a talent anyone can develop.

Be thankful things and people come your way because these provide you with real life practice to develop your skill. This is the battle training zone and you are getting real life experience in adjusting your mind set from less than glorious to more than glorious. You are learning to make auto-corrections just as you did in your auto. (sorry about that pun). You are repeating success behaviors again and again, with the appropriate mind set for easy acquisition, so that you develop the habit of doing it. Then whenever you need the skill  you can find yourself doing what you learned to do reliably.

In creating positive habits we have to form them consciously. We decide to begin and then we practice with awareness. It means we have to repeat the act again and again correctly and then through time we learn to do it. Athletes know all about this form of training and conditioning their minds and bodies. It is not different than exercising your body. You do it over and over to get the results you want, you keep doing it and you being to see the benefits.

We undertake to  train ourselves to respond more positively, to look for the good, to find what is new and wonderful in situations. This may be very different from what we did growing up. It may seem foreign because it is not natural for us.

In training our mind, like our bodies, we deliberately exercise control so we learn that we have control and how to use it.

We did this when learning how to ride the bike and drive the car. As I pointed out, even when we think we are going straight down the road we are actually making micro adjustments all the time. Sometimes something happens and we have to make macro adjustments we swerve out of the way, or hit the breaks, or accelerate to navigate through a tense situation. It is the same thing with out positive thinking.

THIS is the key to understanding and doing.

I think a goal in life is to feel good as often as possible, to feel happy, joyous and free. In order to experience these things another goal is to discover you have choice. The goal is to have fun, let go, be all you can be, and learn how to better navigate the challenges in life.

When you keep your mind on the best positive thoughts about yourself and others and situations during the great times and the bad times you raise your vibratory level and you keep it high. Your life is more enjoyable when you vibrate with positivity. Hard times and people can suck that energy from us so it is important to learn how to keep it high and maintain it during all times.

In learning to maintain your thinking and energy you are able to go through trials and tribulations more resourcefully and easily. The situations may not change but you are better prepared for the challenge. Challenges are the opportunity to learn lessons from which you grow.

“The kite rises against the wind”. Without challenges we never know our strengths. The help us become wiser, better and stronger. We find out who we are when troubles exist. You may be tried by fire but when you recognize the great value of these lessons they become opportunities to enjoy and to really become free.

People may challenge you and push your buttons. Instead of hating them and sucking into resentment, revenge, negativity and anger learn to be grateful for this challenge.

When you begin to appreciate that a person or situation is a trigger for you to think, feel or act  in less than glorious ways then at some point you must realize that to be completely free you need to let go. You have to stop investing in the bad situation, you need to stop paying attention to the trigger and move beyond these things. You need to try to stop making it different, you need to stop attempting to make others different. You need to let it go! (we will discuss letting go in another blog post)

Instead of doing what you always do – do something different this time. Look for what you can appreciate in the other person. WOW that may be tough but that would be really different wouldn’t it? Find what you can appreciate and enhance it. The same applies to the situation. Surprise yourself by attempting something different. You don’t have to do it out loud, you do it inside your head.

One of the best things is to look for is what opportunity is present, that may be hiding, for you put your attention on? What opportunity is there for you in this for you to discover?

A brief example, I have had a person in my life who I really used to get bent out of shape with. It seemed their whole intent was to bring me down and aggravate me as often as they could. It seemed as if that was their purpose, at least I certainly felt it was. I would get so annoyed, even angry. I began to actually fear having any interactions because I knew how they would go and they would only be bad and I would end upset. This went on for more than a decade. I regretted knowing them and having any involvement with this person.

Then one day I made a decision to forgive them, accept them and love them for who they are. WOW, this seemed impossible at first and they kept their usual ways up. I had to remind myself again and again that this is just how they were and this is how it would always be so get used to it.

You see, I didn’t really accept the situation or the person, nor did I actually forgive the person yet, I just sort of had part way. At least, I made an attempt in the right direction. Things were somewhat better in me but still I was plagued with these annoying interactions.

Later, rather than sooner, but soon enough, it became clear to me that I was learning some important things about me by going through these numerous interactions. I learned I had these hot buttons, these areas that needed to be examined, if I wanted to be free. It became evident eventually that I was the one swallowing the bait and getting hooked into arguments no one was capturing me in a net. If I wanted to be free I had to change something. WOW, what an insight! “If it was to be it was up to me”. I was delighted I finally realized that in that moment.

In that instant, I realized the person was a mirror for me, a godsend, a provocateur, a blessing in my life and I began to celebrate and become thankful for the presence of this person. I had be presented over and over and over again the opportunity to be free from my getting hooked behavior, I just had not recognized it until this moment. I began to literally express gratitude for this person in my life and the lessons I was learning. Everything changed almost instantly.

I know what you are thinking did the other person change? NOPE absolutely not.

I changed. My response to the situations and interactions changed. I was free. No matter what the person did or didn’t do I was free, happy and positive. I continued and continue to celebrate and enjoy.

Then guess what. Because I no longer got hooked, because I was free the other person began to respond differently. Our interactions have been so much better. I no longer feel provoked or any of the feelings I used to feel and as a result I behave differently.

When the person bothered me I was bothered and I am certain I bothered the other person.What we put out comes back. I put out celebration and thankfulness and our communication has become much more easy and pleasant. I experience many more wonderful moments in life.

My point is don’t expect others or the situation to alter for you, alter yourself to find the best you have. Learn to love that these people or situations are in your life affording you the opportunity to learn something wonderful. They represent a big hurdle for you to get over. When you get over the big hurdle all the other ones are much more easy.

Stop negative thinking. The way you find something better is to scan you body, your mind, your environment for something better to put your attention on. Scan and look for positive reasons and motivations when bad things happen. Scan for choices other than the obvious one you would have normally first picked. Dig deeper to find the gold.

Find in yourself the ability to shift your attention from the wound to the healing. Shift your attention to all the positive reasons. Imagine that this situation or this person is there for you to learn how to control your thinking and feeling so that you ultimately become free. Consider, the situation or the person a blessing, someone helping you to awaken and change for the better.

Then no matter what the world offers you you can be free! No matter how people may challenge you or try to anger you or let you down you are no longer invested in feeling that. You are free! Whatever the other person does is not your concern. You let them be free to be whomever they are.You no longer get hooked. You call the shots in your life because you live and let live. Now you are no longer a victim but a victor.

No one has ever said it would be easy to change your thinking and feeling but it gets easier through practice in the same way your muscles grow through exercise. You get better and better at it. If you stay positive and practice positivity ultimately you become more positive. You get what you think about! The more positive you become the more positive you can become!

It is a conditioning process not a one time event. You will discover in making this practice yours that you will never have to let anything or anyone, small or large, including yourself, prevent you from becoming the person you are and can be.

This is great news because it means you are learning to control your own mind and your own life.You are creating a positive, powerful new habit through exercising and  conditioning your mind to be positive. When you get off course you  adjust back onto the course without criticizing yourself. This becomes a wonderful way to live!

You create a powerful new positive habit by recognizing the positive aspects in the challenges you face AND in yourself. Then instead of getting caught in the problem and the sucky feelings you have a way out. Above and beyond you travel finding resources, solutions and positive experience even in the tough times.

Keep on keeping on. Never let up and never give up, never. The prize is ultimately yours and there are wonderful changes and delights in store along the way.

You are becoming the captain of your soul and the master of your fate.” Rex Sikes