How To Transform Troubles Into Amazing Opportunities

horizons the-never-ending-story-phil-koch

“What do you do when you are trying your best to be positive and someone or something comes along and seems to rain on your parade? There are times like that. You decided I will be positive and shortly thereafter find yourself in a funk or a fight. What do you do?

Realize that all great spirits encounter opposition. Obstacles are opportunities to learn and grow. Accept what is IS what is. You can’t push a rope. Understand it takes two to tango. Recognize you part in making it happen or continuing it.

Try to imagine the other person you may be in conflict in as a mirror, or holding up a mirror for you to see what YOU need to change. Learn from circumstances in the same way. Take it as ‘the universe’ is trying to get your attention to help make you a better person. It is trying to help you fulfill your dreams.

Everyone Everything Is A Mirror Held Up So You Can See You

Stop. Let go. Reflect instead of react. Realize what the message is and when ready respond instead. There may always be tough times. Living successfully and happily doesn’t necessitate the absence of obstacles it means learning and growing from them and with them.

Stop blaming others and circumstances. Stop whining and complaining. That is only more fuel for the fire. Accept the blame. Accept the responsibility for your part in all of it. EVEN if you don’t think you have any, look to see how you may be culpable. If honest, you will notice you are a part of it. Accept it. Go beyond it.

‘The kite rises against the wind’. People, events, circumstances are that wind. Your own inner conflicts can be that wind. Remember, when pushed there is push back. When you push back YOU are responsible for your reaction. Be willing to face your part in it.

What You Resist Persists

It takes two opposing sides to fight. The world and you, the other and you. You against you. You against the world or the other. It is normal but you don’t have to fight. You aren’t weak if you don’t push back you are far stronger. You are far superior.

You are far smarter and wiser if you know which battles to fight and which to not. You are far stronger turning the other cheek. Do you realize how much ‘let go’ there is in being able to actually turn the other cheek?  Do you understand how evolved you must truly be to forgive honestly? Seek to be able to do this and you will truly benefit.

Most people don’t actually forgive, truly let go, or are capable of turning the other cheek without resentment. Imagine a world when you could be free enough, secure enough, loving enough, of yourself and others you could do that. You would actually be free!

The Kite Rises Against The Wind

The strong person isn’t concerned with their ego being bruised; does not play one up one down power games; does not try to assert their power in order to triumph over family, friends, colleagues or strangers. That strong person knows there is no need. What is IS.

The strong, wise person seeks to accept, love and understand; to rise above the ‘disagreement’ and realize the stakes each has in it and simply not participate in further aggravating the situation. Yes, it is a road less traveled. That is certain.

How does one disengage when all our hot buttons are pushed and inflamed. When we are hot and emotional. THAT is the ability we need to learn and the only way we learn it is by stepping out of it. We need to become aware when we are a partner to it.

When You Drop Something You Drop It You Don’t Try To Drop It

When we, in that moment, recognize we are part of perpetuating it, we can STOP. I use the analogy of being stuck in traffic. When stuck, you can sit and stew, fighting it won’t change it. It won’t and you know that is true. But what do you do?  You can use the time productively to relax and enjoy. To chill while waiting.

It doesn’t matter if you need to be somewhere. If traffic isn’t moving it isn’t moving. That is what is. Accept it, get over it, get on with living life. There are other things to pay attention to. There are other things far more important and enjoyable than time spent blaming the world because you are stuck in traffic. IF you can’t do anything about it LET IT GO!

The same is true when you are in a hurry. The slow asshole in front of you isn’t that slow, you are that sped up. You are pushing traffic trying to make your way through. Stop. Going faster won’t get you there that much quicker. You are all riled up. YOU are the issue not the traffic. YOU are late because of YOU no other reason.

You Can’t Push A Rope

We can interrupt the pattern. We can stop the cycle. We can take a break, a deep breath, we can stop. We can slow down, walk away. It may take time to cool down completely it usually does. The other may insist on continuing, circumstances may persist but we have stopped. Allow yourself to cool down. Endeavor to keep peace.

We learn ‘let it go’. In doing this whenever we get ‘hooked’, if we can become aware and wriggle free we are learning and evolving. The time between the trigger, getting hooked , and getting free will lessen.

We will learn to let go sooner rather than later. Eventually, we come to our senses because our senses are freed up and not engaged in anger and hostility. Learning to get free and let go and not continue to create drama by participating in it IS A process. We evolve.

Stop Take A Deep Breath And Let Go – Breath – Get Free

More clearly are we able to see. When we are free of anger and stress our brain works better. Our eyes work better. Literally. Stress, fight or flight, constricts our abilities to only focus on survival. It narrows our senses to focus on immediate need.

When dealing with most people, most all of the time, survival is not an actual issue. Though we perceive it as one physically. The brain doesn’t know the difference between a real and imagined image or a real or imagined threat. The brain and body respond the same to a perceived or real image or threat. That is a blessing and a limitation.

So when troubles come your way in the form of a family member, friend or stranger there is something to be learned. When events and circumstances are not to our liking a message is being delivered. Even if that is not actually true, if you act as if it is, you will be better off in the long run because you will become more self aware.

Let Go And Let God

Seek the road less traveled. Find the higher ground. Let go of troubles and woes and do not participate in trauma drama. Seek instead to feel better and help everyone else feel better too. Seek to think and feel positive and happy most of the time.

You can’t if you are upset and cursing the world and others. So ‘let go and let god’, as the saying goes. Trust it will all work out without you trying to manage and fix it. Trust and enjoy that all will be okay if you don’t get hot, bothered and angry. Enjoy, feel good and have fun.

Then you and life transforms. Problems, while there will lessen. You will spend more time able to focus on what you want and not get caught in what you don’t want or want to avoid. You can focus more on what you intend to create. So celebrate whenever you notice.

Deliberate Creation Is To Create Only What You Intend To Create

Use the fact that the brain can’t tell the difference between a real and imagined image to visualize the future you want! See it. Imagine it as if you already have the good you desire. This is how you use how the brain works to get what you want.

Create the future in your mind as a present reality. See it, affirm it, feel it fully! That is how you get it! What you see is what you get. What you say is what you get. What you feel is what you get. Feel how good it feels to live that life in your mind’s eye. Enjoy it!

Celebrate!  Celebrate whenever you become aware and get unhooked and walk away from a fight you need not participate in. Let go and live free. Spend your time in gratitude and loving life. When others and circumstance challenge you realize it is an opportunity to go beyond what you already know and into an entirely new way of being.” Rex Sikes

Make your day magnificent!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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