Tag Archives: Positive Thinking

Habit Formation, Overcoming Difficulty, Responsibility, Visualization

How To Get The Upper Hand On Bad Decisions

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“Okay, are you ready for some tough love. I know some people won’t like what I am about to say, while others will heartily agree. I think it needs to be said. Some people don’t like to hear things but the bottom line is we don’t know what we don’t know. We can’t.

I may make this two parts. I don’t know, nor can I know, what it is that I don’t know, given my present state of awareness. I can’t connect the dots forward but I can after the fact, go back and see how they lead up to this moment. But I can’t know in advance.

SO whether you want to hear this or not, perhaps you need to. I need to that is for certain. So what is good for the goose is good for the gander, right? I share this because I think it is one of the main reasons people have difficulty in their lives. Ready, here goes.

Good Decisions Come From Experience

If your life is crap it is because you ALREADY, outside of you own awareness, decided it is crap. The decision was made for you, by you, out of old chronic conditioning. Your very own habits determined how you would react. They’ll determine how you react to this blog.

You (we) react before you (we) have any awareness of what was happening. That is how the brain works. It learns to do things and then it does them automatically. Something internal or external triggers a programs and away it goes. It runs on and on.

Until or unless something happens to alter it or stop it, it does what it LEARNED to do.  Habits are wired in. There are good habits and good programs that run a lot of your life. There are other habits many might label less than glorious. Many of these run your life too.

Experience Comes From Bad Decisions – Learn From Everything

For example, getting very mad because traffic is ‘bad’. You don’t have to. Some people don’t, but, you do, (IF you do)  because that is what you’ve always done. Somewhere, at sometime, you reacted that way enough until it became a reliable neural highway in your head.

Chemicals squirt and electric impulses fire off in a particular sequence and voila’ ROAD RAGE! It is reliable. It is automatic. It happens fast. It happens every time. You live with road stress. You’d prefer not to but you haven’t changed it, yet. It is reliable!

If this occurs day and night, to work and back this is NO way to spend your time. It is no way to spend your time in a car. Some people don’t stop there. They recount the story, feeling stressed each time they do, multiple times throughout the day.

You Are Not A Product Of Circumstances But Of Decisions

Some people are worse at this than you are, but many others are far better. They aren’t bothered at all about traffic. They travel to and from places hardly ever getting ruffled for even a little bit. For some others it may be a mild nuisance. Annoying but they let it go.

The only way to change it IS to change it. You have to get inside and make a new decision before the old one fires off.  BUT how on earth can you do that? How do you extinguish the chronic behavior? You have to teach the brain ‘Not That’ but ‘This’ instead.

You have to train your brain to NOT DO THAT but to do this other thing instead. You have to shift from rage to relaxed. HOW? Awareness is the key. Since you can’t stop it before the trigger results in a flood of electro-chemical activity you must catch it.

The Most Important Decision You Make Is To Be In A Good Mood

You must catch it shortly afterwards. The sooner the better. SO you must become sensitized to what sets it off. You must know the trigger. You must know the trigger point. You learn what this is by deciding to change it. That is the first step. You make a decision.

Then you bring awareness to the situation. You begin to plan. ‘When that occurs I’ll do this instead.’ You can really benefit from visualization here. Imagine the situation that sets the sequence off. As you begin to see and feel yourself go into the old behavior, STOP.

Imagine yourself creating a pause. STOP, see yourself take a deep breath. TAKE ONE! Or two or three. Imagine yourself being aware that as it starts you stop it by changing your breathing. Visualize this again and again. You stop, breath and watch yourself shift.

To Change Your Life You Must Change Your Habits

Watch yourself calm down and behave differently. See yourself behave how you want to behave. You stop, calm, and drive normally. You stay calm and relaxed, but attentive and alert to the driving process. You imagine being how you want to be at that moment.

You rehearse the behavior again and again in your mind. There are two perceptual vantage points to take and I have just described one. I’ll describe the other in the next blog. For now you can practice this with any issue you would like to change. Practice on something mild.

It is always wise to choose something that is not to emotionally significant or overpowering at first. Learn the process, get good at it before moving on to more emotionally charged issues. This is wise practice. Take baby steps leading up to bigger change.

Replace Your Negative Thought Habits With Positive Ones

Practice making the changes. Practice your feeling gratitude. Begin and end each day and each practice session looking for this to feel grateful about and express your appreciation for these. Feel it fully and enjoy and delight int he feelings. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a glorious day!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Acceptance, Blessings, Focus, Gratitude, Learning

Do This When Your Situation Sucks!

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“A good friend texted me stating he needed some reframes. He spent a trying day, more than 12 hours in the airport, attempting to get to L A, with delays and missed flights. A remarkable man himself I sent him these words. These apply to all of us at anytime.

Learning patience can be a trying experience. As can learning to accept what is IS. Yet, what might you discover about yourself going through this difficult time? Are your thoughts supporting you and the situation or helping to undermine and frustrate you even more?

You decide which it is? Decide what needs to be done that will support you with who you are and who you want to be. Our thoughts about our situation contribute to how we feel. Are they lifting you higher and helping you feel better or not?

This Too Will Pass – But If It Didn’t – What Would You Do

Yes, it is difficult. Yes, the situation can be frustrating. That is what is. How you respond determines how you go through it. Are you contributing to suffering or feeling centered? Breath. Find your center. Take some deep breaths and let go. Allow it. Accept it.

You won’t change it being angry about it. That is as unlikely to change anything as yelling at the weather is for not being to our liking. Create a pause. Look inside and breath. What can you learn about yourself from this? Can you consider it a blessing in disguise?

If is is a blessing then what does it hold for you? Only you can determine that. There are two ways to view this. Positive or negative. Which feels better? Which gets you closer to the real you and the you you are evolving to be? It is your decision.

Inside Every Adversity Is The Seed Of Equivalent Opportunity

What are you focused on? Is it making you feel better or worse? Energy flows where your attention goes. Are you focused on what you want or what you don’t want? If you know what you don’t want then turn and focus on what you do want that makes you feel better.

Everything passes. Change is constant. This too will pass. BUT pretend for a moment it doesn’t. This would be your future forever. Is this what you want? Do you want these thoughts and feelings? Make them what you would want to live with forever. Your choice.

While I may have bias there is no correct answer. There is no correct behavior. There are choices and whichever you make those are your choices. Accept them. I choose based on what I want to create more of for myself, perhaps you may too. Meanwhile, peace and blessings!

Challenges Make Us Stronger – The Kite Rises Against The Wind

If you can find the silver lining you are ahead of the game. If you can find what there is to be grateful for, even inside a difficult situation, you are ahead of the game. Relax, breath, center, let go and feel grateful. What lessons can you learn? Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

How can you have a glorious day?

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Attitude, Blessings, Creating The Future, Gratitude

How To Make Good Things Happen For Yourself

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“Would you like to be blessed more in life? Would you like wonderful things to occur for you? Want better health, happiness, opportunity, money or things to show up? Whatever you want you can have but it is up to you. It’s not up to anyone or anything else. Just you.

Begin by feeling blessed. Feel it. Do whatever you must in order to feel enjoyment, delighted, happy, grateful and blessed. Do whatever you must that is positive, legal and safe, that is. That should go without saying BUT but some people make it necessary.

Feel grateful, feel positive, feel blessed. Feel happy, feel healthy, feel wealthy. You first. You go first. You feel it first. You think it first and then you open the doorway for having these. You won’t have them if you feel negative, worried, frustrated or crappy. It just won’t happen.

I Stumbled Across My Strength Because Of My Struggles

You create luck from your mindset. You reap the harvest from the seeds you plant. Whatever you want you can have as soon as you learn to think it and feel it into existence. At one time there were no chairs, spoons, clocks or computers. Someone had to conceive these.

Everything humans made began first as a thought and then were brought about by follow through. Think it, feel it is possible, believe in yourself and you can make it happen. Feel eager, excited, feel joy that good things can and will happen. You will delight yourself.

Most people say, ‘okay, I’ll try that.’ They say ‘o boy, I feel good. Now what?’ Then, when things don’t happen they follow up with, ‘see, I knew it wouldn’t work’. THAT is not believing. That is not trusting or having faith or being 100%. That is why it will not work. Bad mindset.

Life 10% What Happens To You – 90% How You Respond To It

You have to be 100%. You can’t halfway plant a seed. You have to plant it. You can’t halfway dive into a poo.l You have to dive in. Give yourself over to light, love, happiness and joy. Give yourself over to delight and enthusiasm and notice the difference it makes.

The good life can be yours but you need to create it. It doesn’t happen for you. YOU do it! ‘Luck is the crossroads where preparedness and opportunity meet’. YOU must prepare! Then take advantage of opportunity. You have to have skin in the game!

Begin feeling grateful for everything.  Feel blessed for everything. Appreciate the good and not so good. Live fully with appreciation. When things don’t pan out be glad. Be thankful for the opportunity to learn and evolve through challenge. Grow! Delight! Develop an unstoppable winner’s champion mindset. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a glorious day.

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Decision, Emotions, Energy, Focus

Why You Should Never Make Decisions While Angry!

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“There is a legitimate reason why one is told ‘breath’ when one is out of sorts. Breath! Take a deep breath. Slow down. Take a pause. When things are going south and one is getting upset remember to breath. It has a calming effect, it relaxes the body and the mind. Breath!

Breath and get centered. What is your center? Your center of gravity. For men, we tend to walk around as if it is high in the chest. It isn’t it is in the pelvis. Women more naturally rest in their center of gravity. This too helps the body and mind to settle. Return to center.

Breath, get centered, relax and let go. Forgive yourself, others, or the circumstances. Focus on something else. Literally, turn your attention away. It is easier to do once you create a pause, a break and get centered. Breath for as long as you need to to get calm.

Never Make Permanent Decisions On Temporary Feelings

There is an inner center as well. You can find it when you calm, let go and feel balanced. You can find your inner core. Your gut, the ‘hara’ from which your energy emanates. Your ‘Chi’ flows. Find your inner center. Find your place of energy and balance. Inside and outside.

When centered and calm you think clearer and act clearer. The mind settles and stops racing. You make better decisions. It is suggested one never decided anything, especially something important, when frustrated, heated, sad or angry. Not the time. Be positive and calm.

Nothing good comes from decisions made in haste; nor actions taken because one is hotheaded or angry. Settle down, cool down, find your center so you can think clearly, assess the situation and stay open to incoming information necessary to decide. Get it?

Each Moment Is A New Beginning Take A Deep Breath Begin Again

To remain open is critical. When we are frustrated or  raging we do not have the presence of mind to make good decisions. Therefore never make them while heated. Okay. Relax, let go, calm down, stay open, listen, gather information, assess it and then decide.

Take time to enjoy! Find something right now.  Find many things to celebrate and appreciate. Find reasons to delight and be glad. Have fun. Savor it. Take your time. Let your mind wander and discover how many different reasons you have to be thankful! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Delight in your day.

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Acceptance, Awareness, Choice, Conditioning

Your Suffering Is All In Your Head But You Can Change It

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“Buddha said  all suffering is due to thought. All suffering stems from not being present. The mind is conditioned to go backwards and forwards, to go anywhere but right here and now in the present. We have been conditioned from birth to not be present.

To be here now is to be totally present in the moment. Drop into the moment and be fulfilled in ways the mind can never know. It is beyond the mind. If you must think it is best to think the positive and focus on what you want to create and build. Stop negativity.

You can learn to gain control over your thoughts and feelings. You can be in charge. In learning control you can will learn how to still the mind. You learn how to focus, to concentrate, on what you want and to let go of what you do not want. Drop what you don’t want.

What You Resist Persists – What You Befriend You Transcend

People are concerned about what will be.  They fear or negatively anticipate, they worry, about the future.  They feel regret, shame, anger and guilt about the past. The past and the future keep us from the present moment. The worry or the shame locks us up negatively.

Try this on.  Go for a walk and noticed how your feet contact the earth. Put all your awareness and attention on your feet.  Feel the contact. Notice it. Notice the rate of your movement. Feel your legs moving, your arm swinging,  your body moving through space.

Feel the wind or lack of it. Feel the elements. Do nothing but feel. Attempt to be still. Quiet the voice, the sound track in your head. Whenever you notice you are not feeling, gently return your attention to your walking and continue to notice. Become  aware.

Do Not Identify With Your Thoughts – Stop Being Possessed 

On another walk focus on your feelings. Add observation. Observe your surrounding. See what you see. Notice.  Look at the space between the trees and the plants and the grass. Notice everything. Objects and the empty space between them. Simply look.

Focus on noticing and looking during a walk. On another walk  listen to the emptiness, the silence, the gaps in the sound. The gaps between thoughts. Notice sounds simultaneously occur. Listen for the silences between the sounds. Concentrate on hearing nothing.

During another walk simply walk. Feel, observe and listen. Be as present as possible. None of these walks, these exercises, need be rushed. Take your time. Indulge yourself. Go slowly. Be present. Go slowly. Do a little each day. Make it a ritual practice. A sacred art.

You Are Not Your Thoughts – You Are The Thinker Of Thoughts

In the present moment notice everything that is. Draw your attention to being in the moment. Notice when your mind goes elsewhere and gently bring it back to the present walk. The ancients called  it the monkey mind centuries ago because it jumps around.

You can’t suppress the monkey mind. It is a conditioned part of you but you can transcend it. You can go beyond it and simply watch it. You gain control by returning each time you stray. You learn to focus and shift your attention and keep it in one place. Be the watcher.

Learn to control your thoughts so your thinking can be more positive than negative. Learn to control your thinking so you can be more present, in the here and now. When you can control your thoughts, and you can be positive more than negative great things can begin.

Negative Thoughts Stick Around Because We Believe Them – Stop

Stay positive. You will think and feel better. During your practice stay aware. Notice when you are positive and when you aren’t. When your thoughts stray from positive gently return them. Don’t resist. Don’t push. Don’t  fight. Be patient, positive and gentle.

To do so requires awareness. Another exercise to do. Bring your attention to the moment. Let go of your past and future. Let go of the thoughts and simply watch them as if they were leaves on stream going by. Notice which are positive and which are negative.

We are so much more than our thoughts. People think they are their thoughts. They are controlled by their thoughts. Their thoughts torment them. YOU are the thinker. YOU should be in charge. We aren’t our thoughts. Discover who you are. Realize who you are.

Awareness Is The First Step In Positive Permanent Change

Learn to be present. Allow distractions to move on by. Stay in the present.  Learn to sit without thinking. Just sit and observe and listen and feel without thinking, without judging, without the describing. Be here now for there is nowhere else to be. Go with the flow.

Watch the white clouds as they drift in the sky. Listen to the gaps between words, between musical notes. Simply be. When you are here and now you are positive. When you are here and now you can be truly grateful. You can, in this moment, celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Delight in your discoveries today.

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Awareness, Choice, Creating The Future, Deliberate Creators

If You Are So Smart Why Don’t You Create Some Good Things In Your Life?

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“We are co-creators in everything.  Some people create Jaguars other people create junk cars .  We create either opulence or poverty. Together, we create the moment. I know some people will have difficulty with this blog, others will feel right at home.

I had an argument. Afterwards, I felt some remorse. I forgave myself accepted  myself, and what IS (was). I forgave the other person. During the argument I even said to the other person. ‘I’m sorry I was out of line here. I apologize.’ We argued. Afterwards, I realized.

I realized we created the argument together.  WE created the argument. It takes two to argue. I couldn’t argued alone. It doesn’t matter who or how it started. Both of us argued. Not only argued we kept arguing. Isn’t this a lot like it is for you and others, too?

Our Thoughts Create Our Reality

What I realized was, I didn’t want to be arguing but I did it anyway. Most likely the other party didn’t want to either. SO then why did we? Habit. Yes, conditioning. That is what we often do. Act from habit. Our fights were habits. My fighting is habit. Old, old habits.

The question or questions I might’ve asked as the argument was going on would have been this:  Is THIS what  we want our moment to be? Is this what we want to create right now? Do we want to be arguing or solving something? What are WE creating?

It’s useful to remember there is positive and negative. There is up and down. There is hot and cold, good and bad. There are opposites and contrast. Which do you want to focus on? What do you want to create? What do you want the moment to be?

Where We Put Our Attention Is The Direction We Go

What you want to broadcast and receive? What are you putting out there? What are you taking in? Think creation. What are you creating? Think attraction. What are you attracting? It is important to consider each moment.

What do we want our present, here and now, to be? Are we even in the present, here and now could be in the present here and now, or suffering the past and the future? Are we rehashing old wounds and making new ones to try to change the future?

Do we  really want to suffer from  the past or be anxious or fear the future or would we prefer to be here now and create something nicer? Each moment we have an opportunity to be present and create something incredible if we keep aware.

Change How You Look At Things The Things You Look At Change

If we remember who we are. I imagine we are great spirit. We are god playing the game hide and seek with ourselves and each other. God argues with God. If I think about it this person I’m arguing with as god attempting to help me be a better person it helps me.

Yes, they are challenging me and confronting me.  What are my choices? I can react with anger, fear, sadness, worry, revenge, attempt to get one up. I can fight harder or run and retreat. I can give in and regret and resent.

OR I can remember that this other is there to help me be a better me. To be free of previous past conditioning. I can realize we both are divine and that this is a divine play. A divine unfolding.  I am god playing with god.  The other is god playing with god.

Every Thought We Think Is Creating Our Future Remember

It’s as if two piece from a broken mirror, the fragments, are arguing. Each blames the other. Each doesn’t realize they are both a mirror. They only think they are fragments. The fragments are arguing. BUT the fragments are the same thing only they don’t realize it!

Silly isn’t it. Even though we are fragments there is no separation. We are both the same. We are the same source energy. We are one thinking we are separate. The fragments have ego and wants and borders and boundaries and rules and games.

So as god pretending to be fragments we challenge each other to help each other remember who we actually are. Every circumstance, every obstacle, every argue argument, every frustration are designed to help you remember. We play the game so well, don’t we?

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes – Create What You Want

Remember, ‘I am a fragment of a mirror’. I am divine. The other is divine. What is IS. All of it, none of it. It just is. Yet, most of the time as fragments we spend our thoughts and feelings in the past and future, anywhere but here and now. We don’t realize much, do we?

We are all made of the same stardust. We were born eons ago. Our essences exists in timelessness. We ought to remember we are creating every instant, each and every moment.  We are all god. We are all universe. We are all life energy. But we forgot.

We are one pretending to be many. We are pretending so we have forgotten how powerful we are. We can create and attract anything. Some create Jaguars others Junk Cars. Don’t you think it is time we remember? It is time we woke up to who we truly are? I think so!

Reality Is Merely An Illusion Albeit A Very Persistent One

When you realize your power you won’t be preoccupied by the petty, will you? Why not create incredible good fortune? Determine what you want to create and then begin to create it. Aim high. It is your one go around, this life. After this, who knows what?

Is any of this true? I don’t know. I don’t worry about it. I utilize whatever frame is useful to encourage myself to explore and become more aware. I don’t worry about whether I am really god or not. Others will worry about that for me, I am sure.

I concern myself with conscious evolution. I concern myself with being present as frequently as possible. I determine to live here and now and celebrate the gaps between each moment. I choose to live from a higher perspective than what I was conditioned to.

By Changing Your Mind –  You Change Everything

I think recognizing that we can control our thoughts and manage our emotions is a great thing. We can put great creative, imaginative power to positive good use to create whatever we want in this life. We can become more aware, love more, live more and be more free.

So I choose to enjoy and delight. I invite you to as well. Create peace and harmony. Love. Be kind and find kindness. Delight in wealth, health and happiness. Enjoy your creation. Decide the life you are going to live and begin to live it. No excuses. No blames. Just go do it. Then have some fun. Be thankful and celebrate everything!”  Rex Sikes

Make each moment more enjoyable!

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Acceptance, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Learning

What To Do When You Really Disappoint Yourself!

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“Have you ever let yourself down? Have you ever disappointed yourself? Have you ever done the exact opposite of what you intended to do? Did you ever say, ‘I won’t do that’, only to then do it. I sure have. Countless times. Sometimes, too often.

So what to do when you behave less than gloriously or even badly. You can accept it. Accept that you aren’t perfect. Accept that there are times when you don’t do as you intend. Accept, forgive and love yourself anyway. You aren’t perfect stop pretending to be. Let it go!

Far too often we are harsh on ourselves because we think we should be further along than we actually are. You can see this a lot watching people learn a new sport or activity. They get frustrated because they think it should be easier than it is. They loose patience. I have.

Accept What Is – Let Go Of What Was – Accept All – Allow All

Have you ever done this? I do it all the time. Own it. Live up to it. We take golf swings, throw basketballs, play music on an instrument and get mad when we don’t perform correctly. Knock it off. Stop thinking  you are better than you are. Accept mistakes. Laugh it off instead.

We want to be perfect. We expect perfection even if we think we are a loser. There is no end to how we can criticize and blame ourselves. We will rag on ourselves coming and going if we could. Right? It is time to learn a new way of being don’t you think? You can, you know.

So accept. Let go. Forgive, truly and love yourself even though you aren’t perfect. Love yourself. Then learn. Extract the lesson from the situation. What could you have done differently that would have been more resourceful, productive, beneficial, co-operative? Ask.

Accept The Rainy Days Accept The Storms They Are Part Of Life

Ask of yourself and listen silently for the answer. Examine and reflect. Don’t judge. Stop criticizing. Listen to what you might have thought, felt, said, or acted differently that may have made a difference. Learn from this. Decide to not do the old behavior again.

Intend to be the new way. You may and it might take many practice attempts or slip ups until you finally ‘get it’ and do it or live it. Do you understand this? Repetition is the mother of skill. You made the old way a habit, now you need to be patient while you make a new one.

New habits can take time. So be prepared to love yourself through it. Accept yourself. Keep moving forward as best you are able. You can critique your behavior but don’t criticize yourself for screwing up. You do what you do in the situation and perhaps next time do better.

You Don’t Need To Be Accepted By Others – Accept Yourself

Take the pressure off yourself. This doesn’t give you license to do the old behavior, especially if it involves others, but it gives you permission to be human. Humans make mistakes. Humans don’t always do everything perfectly. It is okay! You did what you did.

If it involves others and you need to apologize do so. Own up. Take responsibility. Learn to communicate more effectively. Build bridges instead of burning them down. I have burned some bridges and in most cases it only hurt me more. Respect others and respect you.

Some times you examine the situation and discover there was nothing you could have done that would have made any difference. You can’t change the physicality of it. Then accept it. If you can change your response to it change your response!

Mistakes Are Part Of Life If You Don’t Make Them You Don’t Learn

When you can’t change an event change your response. Instead of trying to change other people change yourself. You are in the driver’s seat of your mind and your life not in charge of world events or other people’s minds and lives. Let go of trying to control things.

Accept that the ‘crappy event’ was a blessing to learn and evolve from. It may take time to see how but allow for it. I have done things long ago and not so long ago that I may be ashamed of. I have hurt people with my words or provoked others unnecessarily.

I have given the finger to unsuspecting drivers on the road. We all have things we aren’t proud of or that we sometimes do that surprise us. Even when everything is going exceptionally well. Don’t let one act ruin the record of good days. It is like quitting smoking.

Welcome Challenges Every Situation Is An Opportunity To Learn

If you slip up and have a cigarette don’t stop quitting because you had one. Stay quitting. Okay, you slipped up. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go on. Keep to the program. Get it. Some people abandon everything because of one mistake or slip up. Don’t.

Do stay the course. Keep growing and evolving and living and laughing. Get back on track when derailed. Forgive yourself, forgive others, allow it to be. Accept it as opportunity. You don’t have to know all the answers or the ‘whys’ and reasons.

You may want to but most of everything is a big mystery. Why, heck I don’t know, simply because. Why is what we learned to ask as a child and we keep doing it. The answers aren’t much better as we get older. It just IS! Accept what is. Learn to go with the flow. Allow.

Keep Going Don’t Quit Just Because You Made A Mistake – Persist

Give and receive. Receive grace. receive joy. Receive love. Receive forgiveness. Receive peace. Receive awareness. Give these and more in return. Learn to be grateful. It hurts when things go wrong, or the apple cart is upset, but get over it. Take your time if you need.

Learn that if you love and accept and respect yourself. If you allow and accept what is. You can do the same for others. Whether they return it or not you can still do it. In many cases they won’t return it.

What if you changed for the better yet the rest of the world remain the same? How would you enjoy it? It would be completely up to you then wouldn’t it? It would, right. Everyone else is the same but you chance. Guess what, that is how it already is. You transform.

Forgiveness Is Something You Do For Yourself To Forgive Is Divine

Don’t concern yourself with other people’s personal evolution. Live and let live. When you disappoint yourself imagine you counsel a young person you love. What loving, kind words would you say? What might the child like to hear? What might the child need?

Okay, live and lough and laugh. Feel gratitude even when things go awry. I am always reminded of Jesus, whether you believe it or not, the story is he asked forgiveness for his tormentors while he was in torment. He didn’t wait until all was good, he did it while suffering.

Whether true or a story I think it is a great example. Forgive others and forgive yourself even while in the midst of turmoil. Even when nothing changes in the circumstances. Forgiveness isn’t FOR the other person, it is for YOU. It is for your transformation.

Love Yourself For Who You Are – Friend Yourself – You Deserve To

Transform. You aren’t perfect. You may never be. Accept the good and the not so good as you do the day and the night. Judgement is what makes something acceptable and unacceptable. Yes, there are ways we treat others that may be either. Know which is which.

Live with imperfection. Enjoy being human. Don’t expect to be superhuman or perfect. Don’t live in delusion. Life CAN be great and YOU CAN make your dreams come true THAT isn’t fantasy. Utopia or utopian like perfection is deluded. You can live enlightened.

Be enlightened while the world is as it is. So give yourself room to make mistakes and to correct them. Accept yourself for not being perfect. be grateful for the opportunity to learn, change, correct and continue on. Be thankful for all and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Make the most of each moment!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Conditioning, Getting Over The Past, Learning, Overcoming Difficulty

A Method For Getting Over Any Fear You Have

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“My recent blog, ‘ A Method For Getting Over Your Fear Of Heights’ includes a powerful approach for making changes. For decades I have successfully helped people use this to get over fear of heights, flying, getting out of their house after years shut in, meeting people and many other irrational fears. People can change.  So can you!

Fear is good. Pain is good. It is only a signal that we should pay attention to. When fear becomes immobilizing for an everyday activity that most people engage in, then it is worthwhile addressing and overcoming it. Most fears can be readily dismissed quite easily.

While I use a myriad of approaches and methods I shared one incredibly effective approach so that you, or anyone, could begin using it to overcome limitations of any kind. What works for fear of heights works in other situations as well. Use it. Yes, use it!

Whether You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You Are Right

The key to being more effective in your life is gaining control over your own thinking process and emotions. Sometimes that means reigning in thoughts and feelings that are wildly flooding us. It is a tad more difficult after the flooding occurs than prior to it.

This means you can learn it as a preventive measure. You can learn it in advance of when you need it. You can practice and make habits those thoughts, feelings and actions when you aren’t pressured by taking the time to train them to work in your behalf.  Practice!

Preparation is a huge part of any endeavor. If you want to be able to do things more easily and live the kind of life free from worry and fear then take the time to learn how to do it right now. Practice. Act as if you already have made the change and are living as you want.

What We Want To Do With Ease We Must First Do With Diligence

ACT AS IF. Notice how good that feels. Notice the thoughts you have. Feel this fully and think the thoughts repeatedly. Condition your mind and body to work for you instead of against you. It is only doing what it has learned to do in the past, for whatever reasons.

Now train it to do what you want it to do instead. It will learn the new way too. Be patient and take the time to learn and condition yourself. Body shaping, food management, learning to sew or play basketball all take time. Be patient and expect the best. Visualize.

Support and encourage yourself. If you wish, get some training, get a coach or mentor, however, you can do this with a friend or on your own. Take your time and learn thoroughly. Enjoy the process of making changes. Control your mind and feelings. Affirm! Declare!

Correct Repetition Is The Mother Of Skill – Learn To Use It 

The benefits are beyond belief. You can’t yet imagine how wonderfully your life will change for the good, and it will when you take the appropriate action. Then, in time, step by step you will begin to notice how much more delightful everything is all around .

Change can be fun and easy. Inertia, getting up off the coach or out of our comfort zone, is what prevents most people. That, and that they don’t think change is possible for them. I am here to tell you it is absolutely possible. Don’t believe me. Prove it to yourself! You can!

You absolutely can! Start feeling gratitude for everything. Even your outrageous fear that has attempted to keep you safe. Be thankful for everything. Express your gratitude for your ability to change and for the changes you have made and will make. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

How delightful will you make your day today?

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Getting Over The Past, Habit Formation, Learning, Overcoming Difficulty

A Method For Getting Over Your Fear Of Heights

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“Some people fear heights. Some don’t. What do you suppose makes the difference between those who fear something and those who don’t? Don’t you think it must be how they use their minds? Some use it for fear some do not. They must use their minds differently.

‘I am afraid of heights’. Yup, keep repeating that to yourself and see how quickly you are able to get over it. You won’t change as long as you keep telling the same story over and over! As long as you keep reaffirming what you fear you get to keep it for as long as you do.

But you say, that is my reality. Yes, and it doesn’t have to be!

YOU keep it your reality by retelling it AS reality. IF you want your life to change YOU have to change SOME THINGS in your life. You must affirm what you WANT not what you don’t want. ‘I am calm and comfortable. I stay peaceful and centered. I enjoy this.’

If You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t – You Are Right

‘I enjoy different views’. ‘I can look and feel safe. I am confident.’ If you keep saying you are scared or terrified you remain scared and terrified. People perpetuate their fears and what they are frightened of over and over again. STOP IT! Doesn’t this make sense to you?

If it does, you can change. You CAN change almost any reaction or response you have. You need to stop telling yourself and others the same old thing. You need to put this old story to rest. Quit it! Stop telling the story of what you don’t want and of how you are broken.

Start telling yourself and others the way you want it to be. Imagine yourself free and able. Stop making pictures of falling and make pictures of standing comfortably and enjoying it. See yourself confident and calm. See yourself as you’d like to be. Imagine THIS!

Skill To Do Comes Of Doing – Drop By Drop The Tub Fills

Imagine looking through the eyes of someone (you) who is able to enjoy heights. Imagine looking out and feeling calm and feeling wonderful. Get the feeling of being safe and secure because you truly are. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Relax. Calm.

Feel confident and calm. Feel centered. Feel grounded. Feel safe. Feel AS IF you can do this. Feel secure. Feel comfortable. Get a sense of the feelings you want to have more of. Wrap those feelings around you. Feel them fully. Imagine feeling great doing new things.

Seek what you want and you can have it. Stop affirming what you don’t want. Quit living the way you wish you wouldn’t and start living the way you wish you would. Focus on what you want. Stop focusing on what you do not want. Drop it. Let it go. Get over it!

You Go Where Your Thoughts Take You 

Be wise about everything. Take it bit by bit. Gradually expose yourself to greater heights. Inch by inch, step by step. You don’t have to go any faster than you maintain feeling comfortable. Learn to anchor those positive resourceful feelings for yourself.

Get comfortable prior to moving up. Have a trusted buddy with you. Ease into it. You can do this. You absolutely can. Be safe and don’t take unnecessary risks. Stay behind the safety rails and in the appropriate areas. You can do this. Think ‘I can’ instead of I can’t.

Repeated exposure to a fear tends to diminish it over time. Keep at it. Repetition is the mother of skill. Correct repetition, for a long enough time makes the skill a habit. Develop the habit of being comfortable at any height. You can. Take your time and ease into it.

The More We Do – The More We Can Do

Feel grateful that your fear was there to keep you safe. Realize that ‘great fear’ is an over reaction to some things many people can comfortably do. When it is an unreasonable reaction to being at safe heights then perhaps you want to change it. Thank yourself.

Be grateful you look out for yourself even if you over react. Thank yourself. Appreciate yourself. Think, ‘Thanks and I want to do new things, explore new heights and continue to be safe. I will be prudent and wise. Let’s do this.’ Enjoy exploring and adventuring in new ways.

Find ways to delight yourself. Use motivating thoughts, messages, and music to stay resourceful. See yourself changing in your mind’s eye and being able to comfortably do that which you want to do. Feel how good it feels to be free and able to do it.

If You Really Want To Do It You’ll Find A Way – If Not – An Excuse

Notice these sensations. Pay attention to the sensations that feel good. Notice where in your body you feel them the strongest. Really feel these. Remember them. Anchor them. Lock them in for yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to. Enjoy learning to do new things and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

It is a new day. A new moment.  Celebrate it!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Awareness, Energy, Focus, Learning

Why You Must Learn To Be Centered And Stay Open

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“Do you ever feel stuck? Have you been confused and are not sure which way to turn? You seek answers but only seem more confused by the answers you get and aren’t sure what to do? Doesn’t this suck? Would you prefer to be free? Would you like to change?

There are times when we are hyper-resistant to what is going on. We resist what is. We could remain open. We could remain open and discover what Is actually there. Instead we project what we think is there. We judge. Our judgements stem from our conditioned mind.

We ask others for answers and then run those through our pre-existing filters and biases. We don’t like what the answers seem to be or we’re stuck and unable to decide. We fear making the wrong decision. Often, we vacillate and just spin wheels for a long time.

Nothing Is As Painful As Being Stuck Where You Don’t Belong

We aren’t available to what IS because we are too busy running around in our minds. We actually need to stop. We need to pause so we can decelerate. We need to take a breath and open up so we can actually notice what IS and free up from unproductive thinking.

Opening up and staying open may seem to be a difficult but it is eminently do-able but we have to practice it. We have to practice returning to center. We have to practice shifting. We have to practice opening up and experience what it is like.

Most of us didn’t grow up learning this. All of us were conditioned from birth on by the thoughts, actions, feelings, the preferences and prejudices of those around us. Most of our conditioning occurred before age 3 and was locked in by age 7. This is what we live from.

Fear Worry Regret – Will Consume You For As Long As You Let It

We can change it but only if we determine to change it. We can change it but only if we become aware that it needs to be changed. For many, crises and major downfalls are the precipitating ‘events’ or circumstances that lead to transformation. We CAN change!

Once we learn to open up and actually become present we can make better choices. Our resources are freed up. We aren’t engaged in ‘monkey minded thinking’ flitting from this possibility to that. We need to stop thinking at least momentarily and gather our energy.

If we stay open we can potentially discover more of what is going on, without judgement, and be there honestly in the moment. If we assume anything at all we miss the moment. We miss if we are in our heads evaluating what is going on. We miss so much anyway.

Be Present To Whatever Is Unfolding Right Now – Here And Now

This is why learning to develop focus and concentration is important. This is why learning to control and manage our thoughts and feelings is important so we can shift when necessary. So we can place our energy and attention where it is most useful. we can BE!

Instead of repeating chronic, habitual thoughts and behaviors we can learn new ones that serve us better. In the present we are more free to choose than from our conditioned past. This is why it is useful to focus on a candle, or on our breath. To learn how we become free.

The process to learn is to be able to return our attention when it strays. I have described this numerous times in these blog pages. We learn to come back to our center. We learn how to return to now, the present, instead of going off into past or future thoughts. NOW!

Realize This – The Present Moment Is All You Have – Drop In

Become aware of now. Stop the distractions. Then we can find our true essence, our true feelings, our true being. From this authentic place we can act free from the constraints of our habitual thinking. We can think freely and productively. We can decide.

This ability is developed  through time and devoted attention. It is developed by dedication and practice. It is a process. You can do it and discover how beneficial it is. It is harder to describe than to experience. Once you find your center you know where to return to.

Meditate. Let go. Observe without labeling. At first, you will discover glimpses. Seconds of awareness. As you progress you will discover longer moments. Spend time in the gap between thoughts and words. Notice this space and enjoy it. Ancient people knew this!

Live In The Present – Find Eternity In Each Moment – Be Here Now

Become aware. It is freeing. Read through my recent and past blogs for what and how to practice. Then engage. Doing makes it real. Thought translates into results. Don’t just be informed. Use the information for transformation.  AND ALWAYS live with gratitude and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Now Is the time. Here is the place. Celebrate it!

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!