Category Archives: Emotions

Why RAVE Is Important To All People! Use It!

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“What is it most people crave? They may not admit to it but they sure do respond well to it. Yes, they may downplay it when it happens, and attempt to act like it is no big deal, but it is a big deal and it is important. We all would like it much more often. Can you guess what it is?

In the olden days, not actually that long ago but it does seem a practice forgotten, companies used to send off their retirees with it. The military uses it, schools, churches and temples, charities, clubs and associations, frankly there is probably no organization of any size that doesn’t utilize it in some fashion. Can you name it now?

Okay, here it is. I call it RAVE.  Recognize Appreciate Validate Excellence! We all like to be recognized and appreciated. We need to feel validated. We respond well to others noticing our efforts and calling them out in positive ways. So when people have performed well through time or done something special they should be acknowledged. So RAVE about them!

Retirees used to get sent off with a gold watch and special thanks. The armed services, police, firefighters give medals for valor, service and sacrifice. Schools give awards for merit and diplomas, even scholarships. Businesses provide certificates, perks and dollar incentives.

Churches and temples, charities, hospitals have donor walls or plaques. The entertainment business has the Academy Awards among others. Nearly ever group of some kind has some ceremony or award they confer. There is a reason for this. Think about that for a moment.

These are long standing practices that exist for a solid reason. In some cases some of these ceremonies may have lost their special meaning but the practice has endured since early times!

People like and need to be recognized for who they are and for what they do OR for what they have accomplished. There are recognition ceremonies and banquets. People are brought up, told to stand up or in some manner spot lighted and honored or thanked. Though the recipient may down play this moment it is a very special moment.

People enjoy being recognized and typically perform better when they are. It is a special moment in their life. It can be used when people accomplish something, graduate from school or move up the ladder. Never underestimate the power of recognition and validation. People enjoy having others notice and it is important that we do.

Think about the important people in your life. Could be your parents or your children. It might be your friends and associates. It could be your employees or co-workers. Think about the people who mean a lot to you and consider how you might recognize them.

How might you provide a moment for them to shine? In what ways can you validate who they are and what they do and what they mean to you? Heck, we celebrate just another year of living with a ceremony. How much more important and meaningful is it to be recognized and validated for something other than simply growing older.

Let them know you value them! If you love them tell them and tell them some of the reasons why. Express your appreciation for them and let know how you feel. Come clean with your positive feelings of regard and gratitude and shower them with it. Help them feel truly special. Make their day with thoughts of lovingkindness.

Be specific too! Don’t just be general of vague with your praise but point out some specific behaviors you want to acknowledge. Have a ceremony if you can or a dinner. Make the occasion special, take some time and enjoy it. Make them comfortable and help them to truly feel how important they are to you and why they are.

People respond well to being awarded for merit so give them plenty of reasons to feel great about getting the special attention. Be genuine and they will get that you mean it. Imagine how good you might help someone else feel when you do this. Then remember there is someone else you absolutely must recognize, appreciate and validate. Yourself.

Pat yourself on the back! Recognize the progress you have made. When you have done something you intended to, when you have followed through and kept your commitments to yourself honor and respect that. Acknowledge and recognize it. Appreciate it and reward yourself. Love and thank yourself for being you. Feel the love! Genuinely gift yourself for your performance! RAVE about you to you!” Rex Sikes

Delight in this day!

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Why You Should Never Fear Negative Emotions

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“You should never be afraid of negative emotions weak or strong. In fact, the more intense the negative emotions the better.  ‘What?’ you say, ‘Are you crazy Rex? The more intense the negative emotion the better. WHY is that?’

Strong or intense negative emotions are useful. They are valuable indicators that you can use to make positive changes in your life. Never fear them! Welcomed them when they occur. Understand them.  They are an alarm system, a signal alerting you. They arise to get  get your attention whenever whatever you were doing isn’t working.

The negative feeling IS intense to get your attention that what you’re thinking or doing or feeling is not working. Negative feelings alert you so that you can do something about it. Embrace them. Welcome them for what they are. Signals alerting you to opportunity!

All of our emotions are useful indicators. They inform us when we are on target and moving towards our goals and when we are off. They alert us to when it might be prudent to slow down and use caution so that we remain safe. It is a wise person who pays attention to and understands these emotional messages.

The goal is to feel good most of the time. When you are feeling marvelous your feelings let you know everything is going well. Your thoughts are aligned with your desires, there is no resistance and you are moving ahead towards accomplishing your goals. You are focused on what you want and you feel great! This is how it should be!

When life gives you something you don’t like or you discover yourself feeling bad the accompanying negative feelings alert you that your focus has shifted. It has shifted from what you want to what you don’t like. You are now focused on what you do not want.

You have taken your eyes off your goad may be focused on the circumstances around you or the distance between now and the accomplishment of your goal. You might be impatient or focus on the lack of completion. Instead of focusing on how wonderful everything is and will be you might be thinking how everything sucks.

When the feelings are intense; when you’re feeling bad; when you get to that frustrating, negative,  angry, place when that last straw breaks the camel’s back and you say NEVER AGAIN! This is a great place to be! These intense emotions cause you to decide,  ‘Never again! I will not be broke! I will not be afraid!  I will not be weak! I will not be fat! I will not be a victim’ This IS the moment when change can occur!

At this moment you have to stop focusing on what it is that you do not want and shift your focus.  Turn your attention to what you absolutely do want. The negative feelings alerted you that you were focusing on what you don’t want NOW you have the  opportunity to clarify exactly what it is that you DO what.

‘I want to be rich! I am brave! I am strong! I am learning to maintain my ideal weight or I can weigh X’, I am in charge. I accept responsibility for my life! I am in control! I make things happen! I am happy! I love life!’

You turn your back on what you don’t want and aim your thoughts, like a laser beam, at what you want to create. You return your focus to the positive, the optimistic, that happy thoughts and feelings.

You have an internal guidance system. An internal GPS that loudly lets you know when you have gone off course and when you need to turn back the other way. The negative feelings are useful to help you clarify. To specify precisely what you do want to include in your life. They help you get detailed about who you want to be, what you want to do and what exactly you want to have.

Never fear them, instead welcome them and embrace them. They alert you so you don’t travel too far in the wrong direction. Most people misunderstand negative emotions and when they arise they fight them. They resist them which causes them to persist. The go further down the dark tunnel by thinking and feeling more of the same.

You don’t have to when you recognize them for what they are. Then you can allow them and use them. Then you can turn your back and focus on what you want and the negative emotion is no longer an issue. UNTIL the next time you go astray.

Isn’t it wonderful that you have an internal means that allows you to get back on track? The more intense the feelings  whether positive or negative the quicker and easier you’re going to be able to make positive change.

The more you feel wonderful, the longer you feel blessed and joyful the quicker you bring about the changes you seek. As soon as you are alerted that you are off track and no longer thinking or feeling wonderful IS when you deliberately change your thoughts and feelings back to the best you have.

This practice of correcting course when you go off is precisely what you want to make a habit of. You want to keep returning to the positive, powerful, joyful feelings. You are training your mind so this is a great habit to develop!!!

Be thankful you have emotions that signal you. They let you know whether you are getting closer or further away from you goal. Use them as the indicators they are. Be thankful and grateful you have these. Celebrate you have an internal signaling system. When you appreciate how well you work you will work even more smoothly! Enjoy the process!” Rex Sikes

Have a great day!

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