Tag Archives: Repetition

Use This Powerful Way To Keep From Losing It

movie-theatre

“Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to change a moment of difficulty into a less difficult moment? If you could take a stressful situation and de-stress it would you like to be able to do that? There are ways to alter what is happening so that the outcome you get is positive instead of negative.

In this follow up blog post I’ll share with you a method. If you haven’t read the previous blog post go back and read that first. IF YOU HAVEN’T practiced what I shared with you last time spend some time doing that prior to adding in these steps. You want to build a house on a strong foundation so that it stands.

You want to build your abilities the same way. Before, anything else get used to looking for positive past experiences and re-living them. Hopefully, you have started building a library of positive resources. You have also practiced creating the future by imagining that resourceful you in times when you want to be more resourceful.

If you are a regular reader of my blog you know only a day has gone by.  Keep in mind there is no rush. Practice the first part until you are facile with it. Then you can add this in. This information you read now can wait while you gain experience in the other first, but you will know the direction we are headed.

As I mentioned in the previous blog, read through this a number of times to familiarize yourself with the process. Once you get the idea of it  you can do it while reading through it, or better, as I suggested you can record parts of the process and play them back slowly while you go though it. You will lead yourself through it so be sure to give yourself enough time to do everything thoroughly if you record it.

Build Skills Bit By Bit. Only Move From One Skill On After Getting Good At It

Practice what I share with you in this blog. You can do it easily in the privacy of your own home. In a short while you will notice yourself responding even more productively and positively and your life changing for the better.

Continue to make the positive changes utilizing your Inner Mental Movie Theater. Are you ready and eager to learn more? I’m going to give you some today and then more in subsequent blogs.

Determine How You’d Like To Be And Feel And Behave (Respond) In Difficult Or Less Than Glorious Situations

AT FIRST, pick a mild situation to begin. You can get to the tougher ones later. Start with easier ones while you learn the to go through this process. I mean this! Work your way up from easiest to the toughest in time. Over a period of days or weeks. Get good at the process before trying it on tougher times. Crawl before you walk!

Pick A Mild Situation To Begin With

There are times when you are simply less than glorious. Sometimes you aren’t thinking positively, you’re feeling down or upset, just not optimal.

Choose one to work with. Just one experience at a time. Be specific. Think, ‘I have difficulty when…’  and pick one. It may be in a particular situation, or with a particular person or there is some activity that gives you difficulty.

Find a time and or place where you could use a resource. Said differently, find a time in real life when you could use thinking and behaving more resourcefully.

There are moments in life when things can go any which way but instead of going how we want them to go they end up less than glorious. We loose our cool, we get frustrated or angry, we give in or give up, we cry, we shout, we say things we didn’t mean.

Instead of keeping our cool and being calm or confident we get stressed, harried, fearful or worried.

You most probably have had moments like that in the past. Pick a specific one. Chose a milder one to begin with, remember. Choose an easy one! I mean this! Crawl before you walk! Keep this in mind.

Then go back to my statement above, determine how you’d like to be and feel and behave in this situation instead of how you did in the situation. Consider what would be a more productive, positive way to behave instead of how you used to behave.

Any Resource Is Better Than No Resource

You can pick a specific resource for the situation because you think it would be better. For example, you weren’t confident and you wished you had confidence. That can make it better, yes.

That could be a good resource to have in that situation. Perhaps. A sense of humor might be a good resource to have as well.  Perhaps, having the ability to laugh or be silly at that moment would have made it better. Anything is possible. Any resources can transform.

Maybe being patience, or happy or calm or curious would have been better. Curiosity, can be a great resource! The point is there is the resource we THINK would make it better when, in fact, almost any resource would have made it better. This is what is so cool!

It would not have been the difficulty it was and you would have gotten a different outcome if you’d had any number of resources available. Do you get that? There are numerous possibilities! The only limitations we have are the ones we allow. We are really only limited by what we can’t yet consider an asset or opportunity.

Had you moved into ANY other positive state than the less than glorious one you ended up with, it would led to a different outcome. Right? You understand that, don’t you?  If not think about it a bit. However the situation played out, any positive resource would have made it different and somewhat better. Maybe completely better!

If it is somewhat better, that is better! So any positive new resource is better than no resource. It is NOT a matter of trying to find the ultimate, perfect resource it is a matter of choosing any resource that will lead you to a more productive outcome and get you more positive results. Do you understand this? Again, if not think about it.

Find A Positive Resource 

Be free with your thinking in choosing new opportunities. Don’t be rigid, be relaxed. Open yourself up to infinite possibilities. You are still only going to choose one, or in time, a few, but you have a wide variety to choose from that will make a difference for you. At first, choose ONE to work with.

Learn and practice being more resourceful in a variety of ways. There isn’t a perfect way. There is not only one way. There are a variety of positive possibilities and you can learn and benefit from. Any one of them can lead to more glorious possibilities.

If you want to feel better you want to get feedback on how you can continue to transform your experiences for your benefit. So stay open minded and be willing to playfully explore.

Keep Light And Have Fun With This

Take it slowly and have fun. Be gentle and have fun. Be deliberate and thorough and have fun. Choose mild difficulties at first and have fun. Later move on to more difficult situations and have fun.

When you have learned and practiced and gotten good with the process you move onto larger issues in time. You still have fun because that is what you build into the process. Take it lightly even when dealing with more difficult issues.

There are those times that present us with difficulty. We didn’t behave as we knew we could, or wished we would. We want to take those less than glorious moments and transform them by adding in resources we didn’t utilize or were aware we had at the time.

We want to re-code our memories of the past to be more resourceful so we can choose to use them as resources in the present and  future. That is why we spend time building and continuing to build our library of resourcefulness.

A Most Important Benefit Is You Become What You Think About

The reason why I want you to go and find all your positive times and relive those and catalog those and have experience recreating those is for you to have them available as choices whenever you may need to.

If you spend a large portion of your time devoted to finding resources and living them and creating them it makes you more resourceful. Your life will change for the better.

Utilize Any Of These Resources When Times Get Tough

A second benefit is you can utilize any of these resources more readily when times get rough if you have wired them in and made them automatic and available. What you think about you become. When you become more resourceful you can handle future difficult times better. Do you get how this works? It builds on itself.

There are times when everything goes your way. Maybe you feel on top of the world, or extra joyful. These are resources!

You got some news and you feel very happy. There are times when you simply feel fine, but more than fine. Super fine. YOU feel GOOD but not like a superhero. There are times when you feel confident, capable, certain you can do anything. Other times you feel silly or you have a sense of humor.

Still, at other times you feel relaxed, calm, peaceful or at ease. Sometimes you are concentrated and focused, sometimes playful. At times you are focused on your needs at other times you are attentive and helpful to others. All these constitute useful resources.

Re-live It: Feel Now What You Felt Then

Go back inside your mental movie theater and re-live some of these one at a time. Notice  what you saw at the time, what you heard and felt that made you feel that way.

Get a sense of it as much as possible ! You can even imagine feeling it at 2, or 3 or even 5 times the intensity. You can ramp it up. Re-live it from your point of view.

Build them one by one by revisiting these memories again and again.

Watch It: Feel How Good It Feels To Be This Way (Selfie)

Imagine the other way too. See yourself in the situation (selfie) looking the way you do when you are resourceful in this fashion. How do you look, how do you use your body and move.  What does your voice sound like. You can see that you (in the movie) feels great.

Feel how incredible you would feel to be this way. If everything for your future you was going right, and you were everything you wanted to be, doing what you wanted to be doing and having what you wanted to have. How would you feel? Feel that!

Enjoy these. Do this each day. Build a library of incredible feelings, talents, abilities, and resources. Let’s call them resources states.

Practice each day. Realize that whenever you remember these positive times you can feel the wonderful feelings again and again even stronger if you’d like. Strong or not isn’t the point. The point is taking time to live and feel these resources.

You Can Access or Build Past, Present And Future Resources

In order to change your response in the future you want to have one or more of these resources available when you need it. You are going to use your mental movie theater to imagine when and where and with whom you may need one or more of them.

Pay attention to what and how you behave and feel differently when you add the new resources in. First we will change the past.

Go to your mental movie theater and take up a comfortable seat. Watch this experience on your movie screen in your mind.

You are sitting in a movie theater and the screen is over there. The movie begins and you watch yourself go through the experience over there UP UNTIL the point, but not beyond, when it became a difficult situation.

You Are The Director And Editor Of Your Inner Movies

You chose a mild one because you want to be able to STOP IT from being a difficulty. You want to change the difficult moment so it no longer affects you. You want to be free so you want to stop it easily from being  an issue. You are going to work as a movie editor.

Watch yourself over there on your mental movie screen in a situation leading to a less than glorious outcome. One you actually experienced in your real life past. Watch it up to, but not beyond, when it started going awry. STOP IT prior to when you behaved as you DO NOT WANT to. As it approaches slow it down and stop it.

Cut the film right there! Edit! You snip away the less than glorious reactions you had. As an editor you would throw them in a bin on the computer or let them drop on the cutting room floor. Then insert the new resourceful behavior. Paste it in at the precise point.

Paste it in so that from the critical point on you now watch yourself behaving in the situation the way you WANT TO behave. Watch the movie continue. Look at yourself, listen and notice how you feel differently.

Now you run it again from start to finish making sure you behave as you want to until the end. It begins, you watch.  Watch the situation begin to turn sour but instead of succumbing to what was used to be YOU NOW think, feel and behave in the new positive way? Watch it again and again over and over. Re-live it and love it!

Notice how you look, what you sound like, what and how you say things to yourself in your head, under your breath or out loud. Notice how you move. Imagine it with as much detail as possible.

Adjust As Necessary

Do you like what you see? Do you like how you feel watching this new you? If it isn’t as good as you’d like it improve it. Add in another resource. Change it in positive direction until it is too your liking. Keep it realistic as you do. Intensify the positive feelings.

Adjust it. You want to behave more positively in the future make your inner mental movie a compelling example of you behaving that way. Tweak it. See how wonderful you look. Notice how you positively interact. Listen to the kind things you say to yourself (or others).

When it is how you like it – spend time reviewing it this way. Notice how it is different and more positive. Then realize that is how it can be in the future.

Whenever you watch your inner movie in this way you want to end it completely before you do it over again. So watch it to the end and then when it finishes shake it off (literally shake yourself a bit) or get up, move around, do a jumping jack. Anything that creates a shift.

Go inside and change a few other mildly difficult times this way. Pick 3, 6, 10 however many you wish. Practice recoding them. Review them with the new behaviors and how do you feel? Are you moving in the direction you want to move in? Is feeling good? Feeling great?

You are building and practicing a skill. If you keep at it you will build the habit of looking for resources whenever you encounter the trigger points in less than glorious situations. This is an incredible skill to have. So you want to practice a lot. Don’t believe me build it for yourself!

There is more to this process and we will add on to it. It gives you another powerful alternative way to accomplish the same end. It is a useful approach for you to learn. Practice and practice. You will be amazed at how easily you can make changes. More Next Time!” Rex Sikes

Have a majestic day!

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If Your Personal Computer Is Sabotaging You; Fix It!

inspirational_quotes_lau_tzu

“Have you tried to make a change and found it difficult?  Perhaps, it worked for awhile but then you reverted back to the old issue? Even though you may have promised yourself ‘this time will be different’ it wasn’t very long until it was back the same? If you answered yes to these questions you may need to look at self image.

People think or verbalize statement such as ‘that is just not me’ or ‘I would never wear that’ or ‘i can’t stop eating’ or ‘I just have a lot of nervous energy’ or ‘I could never do that’ and more. Many more! These ARE affirmations of our self image. NO they aren’t  Positive Affirmations.

Careful, You Are Already Using Affirmations

No, they are not the kind we talk about when we say you need to repeat affirmations for success but they work exactly the same way. We already DO think and repeat these over and over again just as we are encouraged to do with the Positive kind! We live these daily.

These self image affirmations we utter work to keep us consistent. They work to keep us consistently the person we say we are. Who we are is a result of the self image we maintain. They affirm what we are like and what we can and can’t do. These thoughts and utterances of ours affirm our boundaries. They work REALLY well!

They maintain our limits. We have an internal image of who we are and what we are capable of and what we deserve in life that we live from and fulfill. We produce or don’t produce results consistent with who we are and what this image of ourself is.

We won’t do anything  inconsistent with our self image. When we do try to change behaviors we find it difficult because we are attempting to do something ‘unlike’ us. We tend to think of ourselves as a smart or dumb person, fat or thin, happy or unhappy, successful or not, rich or poor, easy going or not… The list goes on.

Become Aware Of All Your ‘I’ Statements

We can get a clue as to what our self image actually is by paying attention to our thoughts, these notions about ourself, and the utterances or exclamations we make during the day. When times are good and when times are rough ‘we show up’. If we pay attention we can begin to get a sense of who we are on the inside.

We have a composite of images, sounds and feelings of who we are and who we are not. We can even look at our own internal images on our own inner movie screen and see who we think we are. Who and what do we represent ourself to be inside our head?

From the dawn of time, ancient practitioner of these arts have attempted to get us to maintain a positive self image and move beyond our boundaries into happiness, well-being and success. Some have used their approaches with incredible results!

Maxwell Maltz was a plastic surgeon who, because of his work making people pretty and repairing damaged looks, began to explore this area. He did this because people surprised him. An unhappy patient would come to him desperately wanting to look a certain way. He’d provide it but the person remained unhappy.

At first he was confounded. He wanted to know how this was possible. Though they didn’t exist, as we know them today, it was as if an internal computer was running the show. Whatever the programmed software was dictated the results one gets. Today, we know the results you get on a computer ARE determined by what the software is programmed to do.

Self Image Runs The Show

He provides numerous examples in his books. What he discovered was his patients had an internal picture, an image of who they were. Regardless of the outer change they lived from the one inside their heads. The internal image, this self image, runs the show just as a computer does. Whatever is within is what gets output consistently.

Maltz began to explore what people were doing and what they could do differently in their imagination to get what they wanted. As a doctor and businessman he wanted satisfied and happy patients.

His works have sold steadily since 1960. He became a mojor proponent of personal change and development. His break through book was called Psycho Cybernetics. It is as relevant today as it was back then. You can find it and read it. Read it over and over!

He proffered that behaviors stem from our self image. This is the mental picture we have created of ourself. Many people attempt to change behaviors but find this nearly impossible because the behaviors they want to change are automated habits.

Maltz’s patients wanted to become happy by changing their appearance. This rarely worked because they (we) have a persistent automated self image. In order for their lives to be happy (our lives to be happy) they had to work (we have to work) on the inner person before anything else.

There Is An Order To Positive Change; A Recipe

Maltz reasoned that most people encounter difficulty because they put the cart before the horse. They tried to change the behaviors first and that should not be the first order of business. Imagine a ladder with self image at the top run and behaviors further down on the rungs.

In order to change these behaviors Maltz stated you first had to change the mental image. Once you change your internal picture of self your behaviors can change. You change your personality, your self image and your behaviors change because a self image change is a higher order change. It governs the rest.

We know that thought precedes action. To change our feelings and behaviors we must first change our thoughts. Humans have not accomplished or built anything that they first didn’t create inside their heads and then build with their hands. Our own personal changes are accomplished the same way.

If we want to succeed in the outer world we must first succeed in our inner world. Who and what we think we are determines how we feel about ourselves and what we will do to achieve our dreams (assuming we have dreams). If we want to be happy in life we must first be happy within. ‘As within. So without. As above. So Below’ is an ancient principle.

Join me in my next blog! I’ll continue to share what  Maltz and other thoughts leaders insist will get you the most change in the least time in the easiest fashion. When you know how to work with your own system it is much easier. There are precise things you and I can do to be, do and have anything we want in life. Join me next time and spread the word  Life is and can be glorious for you!” Rex Sikes

Have a remarkable day! See you tomorrow.

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Do This When You Need To Overcome Difficulties: It Works!

you will see it when you believe it

“Would you like to make things better now and in the future? Would you like to learn how to more easily overcome difficult times and challenges? Wouldn’t it be cool to know in advance which obstacles might arise and how to handle them when they do? Now you can!

This is an old article of mine. I have updated aspects of it and will share those in a future post, but this article is earlier groundwork. It provides the basic method for going after what you want and for trouble shooting challenges and resolving problems that can arise.

Through my recent posts you will learn how to appropriately and powerfully visualize, and manage your positive self talk so that you can readily recognize the powerful creator you already are. Use this process to create success. Use this process BEFORE you need it.

This is a road map you use for success, complete with alternative routes. This process builds in the contingencies you need when the going get rough. It constitutes rehearsal and practice. It is the same mental strategy a successful sports team would utilize.

So you understand. Mind Design™ is my process of learning new abilities. It is my approach to personal and professional change. I conduct workshops and training around the world and have audio products available. It is also the umbrella process or meta method through which I taught other personal development programs.

Enjoy this early article.

‘Why Traditional Visualization Doesn’t Work And How You Can Modify It To Get The Results You Want

by Rex Sikes

Now that you can ask yourself new questions, you also want to get your visualizations in order. I am sure you have heard of visualization. This is where people tell you to visualize your goals, dreams, plans, or how you want things to be. Usually people make still-frame pictures in their head of the goal being accomplished, e.g. depositing money in the bank, or their kids all grown up and successful.

What makes Mind Design™ different from visualization is that we have created three steps in creating visualizations. Without these three steps, visualizations just don’t work well at all and you’ll just be wasting your time.

Three Important Steps For Effective Visualizations

  1. Visualize the accomplished goal or outcome. Example: Salesperson depositing large commission check in the bank.
  2. Make a movie of how you achieved the goal. What steps did you take to achieve your success? Visualize the steps in detail. Visualize yourself doing all the right things to get your outcome, and visualize everything going perfectly. Example: Salesperson making more calls and customers responding by being pleasant and purchasing items.
  3. Build a contingency plan. Visualize yourself taking all the steps toward your goal and visualize everything going wrong and how you overcame the difficulty. Example: Salesperson making more calls and customers do not respond. Visualize what the salesperson did to get customer to respond more favorably.

Besides only making pictures of the goal being attained (Step 1), you make a movie of how you get the goal (Step 2). For example a salesperson wants to make more sales and money. Instead of just visualizing depositing more money in the bank, a Mind Design™ salesperson visualizes the actual steps they took to make more sales.

(2) The salesperson visualizes them doing all the right things and people responding in all the right ways to increase their sales and their money. But the Mind Design™ salesperson also does something which is the most crucial; THE THIRD STEP… This person visualizes a movie of all the possible obstacles and how they got over all of them.

Ordinarily, this third step is what people do to program their mind for failure because they imagine everything going wrong, but not what they did to overcome it. Using this method, you program your mind for how to overcome adversity along the way if you encounter it.

Stop Programming Failure Start Programming Success

When you learn how to run your brain then a world of endless possibility and opportunity becomes available. Unfortunately, for most people, it is left to chance and that is why success is usually a matter of luck.

I want to teach you the science and the art of making your dreams come true. The science because it is actually steps that you can implement, recipes, formulas proven through time to work for you and the art because your creativity with the science will enable you to realize your dreams and design for yourself the kind of life you truly want and deserve.

Your brain can give you everything you want when you give it a clear bright focused image of what you want and how you are planning to go about getting it. If you don’t know what you want your brain can’t give it to you. But when you know what you want, and you send precise, direct and intense signals, your mind has the power to give you what you want.

You can’t reach your goals if you don’t know what they are. Results are inevitable. If your don’t provide your brain with the programming to get your results, your goals you desire someone else will provide the programming. If you don’t have a program for your life someone else is going to make you fit into their plan.’

Well, there you have it! That is the original article. AS I stated, this was early development and I have added and adjusted through the years. It was and is still powerfully effective when you apply it. You begin to get results because it requires that you program your mind for success and to overcome difficulties.

Rehearse And Practice The Correct Elements To Succeed

A sports team practices to maximize their chances of winning. A successful actor rehearses so on opening night it goes according to plan. Never under estimate the value of mental rehearsal and actual rehearsal. Through this visualization process you practice and rehearse success!

That is what practice of ‘act as if’ is all about. You repeatedly engage your mind in making the correct, positive images and self-talk thoughts until you firmly ‘wire it in’. You imagine and act (in your mind) as though you have already accomplished your goal. This is an incredibly powerful practice and skill to develop.

When you ‘act as if’ you discover what you need to do to manifest it. You begin to understand the steps you need to take to get the results you want. By repeating this process over and over you create a habit.

Create The Habits That Get You Success

Once you make your skills a reliable positive habit you put yourself on autopilot for success. You begin to automatically think and act like a winner. You make success happen. You persist and you accomplish! You become unstoppable because you don’t let anything throw you off course.

Determine what you want, specify your goal or dream or target. See your self succeeding, imagine yourself getting there and having what you  want. Be sure to see, imagine and rehearse succeeding, overcoming obstacles and objections when and if things do not go as you hope and want. Build, rehearse and practice your contingency plans prior to actually needing them. Visualize these over and over.

When you use your mind deliberately in positive ways you can conceive, believe and achieve your goals. You can create and accomplish your dreams. If you want a more wonderful future, if you want to get the kind of results you deserve to get, begin today to run your mind. Take charge of what you do on the inside and you will get the kind of things you want on the outside. That IS how it works!” Rex Sikes

What will you do today to put more smiles on your face?

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Do You Know How To Turbo Charge Your Mind For Success And Happiness?

ask for what you want and be prepared to get it

“An important area of my work since 1980 has been in the area of how questions direct the mind, the thinker, and how they can be used more effectively than affirmations. I have included an article I wrote on using questions when you write articles or emails. It contains powerful information you can use in your daily life to make positive lasting changes. Whether you are interested in writing or not I suggest you read it.

Since I began my work and shared it in articles, seminars, and home study programs, countless numbers of people have used my approach to get wonderful results personally and professionals. This is marvelous and I feel grateful and happy that people have truly benefited around the world.

A few others have piggy backed on my efforts and helped spread the concept. Credited or not, I am always happy if people are getting good results and value from anything I have shared, whether or not I am the one sharing it.

Here is an article I wrote for the newsletter of my friend ‘Mr. Fire’  Joe Vitale (seen in The Secret). I share it here because I think it can help you in many ways. It is NOT just about writing but about directing your brain in ways that are most useful and effective. Enjoy!

‘How Can Questions Make Your Writing More Hypnotic?

by Rex Steven Sikes

Copyright for this article is owned by Rex Steven Sikes. It’s used here with his permission.

Did you know there are actually three languages inside the English language? That’s right, at least three!

There is the language of pictures or how things appear, how we see or view them in our mind as well as out there in the real world.

Second, there is the language of sounds or what we say to ourselves and what we hear on the inside.

And third there is the language of feelings, like when something wonderful grabs hold of us and makes us feel warm and special inside.

Knowing the three languages and incorporating them into your hypnotic writing makes your appeals even more powerful. Words like “paint, picture, imagine, bright, dim, flash,” are visual words. Words that convey sound or auditory information are words like “discuss, hear, harmony, tell, say to yourself”. And words that help us feel things are words like “warm, cold, shudder, feel, grasp, walk through, get a hold of, heart to heart”.

By spicing up your writing with these words you help others begin to imagine more clearly what you are saying because you appeal to at least three of our five senses. And that’s a tasty thing to do that will spice up your writing and make it more vivid to the people who are reading your work.

But that’s not all there is. There is something even more incredible, that directs the human mind to pay attention. Do you know what that is?

Not yet, but I have just given you some great examples. It is the power of questions. You see questions direct the mind. That is true whether you are asking a question of yourself or another person.

Perhaps you say “Yeah, who says?” See there, you just asked a question! And the incredible thing is that this is what our brains are designed to do: Ask and answer questions posed to it and find solutions and new behaviors.

Brains love questions! That’s what brains do all day long. They go in search of things they can do that make life more interesting. Your brains already know how to search for and find information. The key is learning how to use questions to direct your mind in powerful and positive ways.

The problem with most people is that they already use questions to get results they don’t want. They ask things like ‘Why do bad things always happen to me?’ or ‘How come I never do anything right?’ or ‘How come others always get ahead?’ or ‘Why am I so stupid?’

And guess what? Your brain knows exactly where to go in your personal history to find the answers. What your brain does is go on a search, and then comes back with things like ‘Well, it’s because you stuck your head in the toaster when you were four years old’, or ‘You didn’t have the right kind of teachers, or parents,’ or ‘Bad things always happen to good people’.

You see, it is automatic. Ask a question of the brain and it answers in a great variety of ways. In fact the brain keeps on working on the questions long after the answers start being delivered. You know how that is, don’t you? You certainly do if you ever experienced that critical voice that keeps ragging and nagging on you long into the night.

Would you like to find a way to end that? Would you like to be able to direct your mind in powerful, positive ways? Do you want to be more influential and positively persuasive in person—and in your writing?

The key to having more wonderful things happen within you is to help the brain help you by redirecting what it already does well. If instead of asking questions like the negative ones above, we learn to instead begin asking questions about how wonderful things are, then the brain has a positive direction to follow.

And by focusing our attention on what we want instead of what we don’t want our brains can help deliver the good things to us. There is a rule that states, ‘What you focus on you get.’ So if you are focused on negative questions and negative things, the brain goes “okay I can deliver that”.

The brain isn’t biased. Good or bad, it just does what it knows. So we need to grab hold of it and utilize it to our advantage by redirecting it and then letting it run.

For example, you ask this instead: ‘I wonder how soon before I begin to realize how talented I am?’ or ‘I wonder how quickly I can realize how fortunate I am?’ or ‘How delighted will I be to discover my powers of persuasion increasing rapidly?’

You see, when you direct your mind to what you want, your brain says, ‘I don’t know the answer but I’ll go and find out.’ And that is the key! You ask a question which sends your brain in the direction of what is positive that you want to have, but to which you don’t know the answer yet.

If you are familiar at all with powerful hypnotic languaging, you will already notice the kinds of useful hypnotic language patterns I use in these questions. If not, well then be happy there is more for you to learn which will help improve what you do. (See the http://www.idea-seminars.com.)

The incredible thing is your brain already knows exactly what to do. For example, if I ask you “Where did you get the shirt you are wearing as you read this?” Your brain probably knows what store, when, where, or that it was a gift. It won’t answer me by telling me you were abducted by aliens when you were a teenager or some other kind of frivolous answer.

It knows how to go after the class of information you present it with. And realize that I directed your mind with a question to the kind of information I was after. If others were listening to us as we spoke, their minds would be directed to where you got your shirt, as well. This is powerful to know although it may seem obvious.

So the key for your own personal improvement is asking yourself questions which lead your mind in useful directions. If you want positive results, you ask something like ‘How soon can I begin to discover the wonderful results I am already getting? And as I begin to notice those how many more can I discover that delight and amaze me?’ You would do the same if you were talking to, or writing to, another person.

Now let’s say you are selling another person a pen. And you ask, ‘Want to buy my pen?’ The person obviously can answer with ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Because the question you asked didn’t lead to further exploration. It lead only to a single “I want it” or “I don’t.”

But notice if you ask ‘Do you know how delighted you will be when you buy my pen?’ You aren’t directly asking them to buy it. (Well, in fact you are using another hypnotic pattern known as embedded commands). You are focusing them on something they can’t yet know the answer to: And that is the amount of delight they may experience.

I call this Mental Aikido. You side-step the issue of buying by focusing them on a positive attribute of owning the pen: the delight. So they can say ‘no, I don’t know how delighted I will be,’ in which case you have a door open to go ahead and demonstrate it for them. Or they say ‘Yes I know how delighted I will be,’ and then they go to buy it. Or they give you further information that would be necessary for you to know to go ahead and make the sale. Any which way you cut it, you now have a powerful tool in your hands to help you influence and sell. Follow?

You can influence others by directing your own brain! In fact, when you learn how to direct your own brain and use its already existing features in a user friendly way, you will enjoy more influence, power and happiness in your life. That’s because you turn your brain into a powerful ally. And you certainly would want to do that, don’t you?

While this method of Directed Questions™ is something I teach for incredible personal power and life enhancement, I thought you might be interested in a strategy for being able to get your readers to really respond to your hypnotic writing. So here is something else you can use to really add to your hypnotic writing abilities:

These next questions are ones to ask yourself to help you become more creative and begin to be able to paint word pictures for others, so they can readily see what it is you are talking about, so that they more readily feel like going ahead with what you propose.

The brain and eyes are wired together. This means that when we move our eyes we access certain portions of our brain. When we look up we mostly access the visual portions of the brain. When we look laterally side to side or down left we mostly access the auditory portions of our brain. When we look down to the right we mostly access the kinesthetic or feeling portions of our brain. We actually access more than just these areas but we access these areas in greater portions when we move our eyes in this manner. Hence, we can learn to move our eyes systematically to gain greater access to the wonderful information stored in our brain.

Step 1. Look up (don’t move your head, just your eyes) and say ‘What do I want to show my readers?’ ‘What is it I want them to see clearly and how can I best get them to picture that in their mind?’ Spend a few seconds entertaining that question while looking up, entertaining how you can help your reader picture in their mind what it is you want them to see.

Step 2. Now move your eyes down to the left and ask ‘What is it I want them to say to themselves as they read it?’ and ‘How best can I tell them what it is I what them to really pay attention to?’ Again spend a few seconds in your own mind entertaining how you can best help your readers say those things to themselves that you would want them to say as they read your writing.

Step 3. Now move your eyes down right and ask ‘What is it I want them to feel as the read my writing?’ and ‘How best can I get them to have these feelings?’ And spend a few moments getting a grasp of what you want them to feel as they progress through your written material.

Once you have asked those questions, now take a short break and do something else for a little while. Let your unconscious mind work on it. I used to go watch TV and get caught up in a show. But soon I would find the wheels start churning, and I would hop over to the typewriter (in those days) and begin writing. Things began to flow.

If ever I got stuck, I simply asked the questions again and took another break. Later I would go back and edit and re-write the paper to polish it. But this unlocked the creative juices in a very particular and powerful way.

You ask yourself how you can show them in your writing, tell them and get them to feel in your writing. You can additionally ask ‘What is it I really need to say to get them to buy? What do they really need to know? How can I best word my letter to really get my points across? How soon can I find the words and ideas flowing through me in a way that amazes and delights me?’

Or ask any variation of those questions that leads you to the results you want. Then take a break and let your unconscious mind go to work. But remember to come back to the project after your unconscious has had a little time to work on it for you. Often I found that once, maybe two or three times, were necessary to get it the way I really wanted it.

Remember you want your reader to be able to picture themselves using your product. You want them to imagine what it would be like to have it or to miss out on it. You want to paint vivid detail in the mind’s eye of your reader to help them to have the feelings of wanting, desire, or need for your product. Or to feel that’s enough to stop whatever they are currently doing and follow through on what your proposal is.

You want them to say ‘yes’ inside their head and hear positive sounds and voices as they read through your letter. Yeah this is great, this makes sense, wow I can do this yes. And you want them to have the feelings of desire, certainty and taking action. You really want to take them by the hand and walk them through this process. Combine this with your other hypnotic writing skills and you become a real powerhouse.

So remember to ask the questions which direct your mind to what you want your reader to see, hear and feel. Direct your reader to what you want to be able to show them, tell them and help make them feel. You do this by using questions to direct your mind to what you need to pay attention to first in order to influence some body else.

By previewing in your mind what you need them to see, hear and say, and feel to themselves, you can begin to paint pictures with your words that will get them excited about your product or service in a way that makes them feel they have to have it.

And this truly is hypnotic, isn’t it?

Joe ‘Mr Fire’ Vitale Newsletter link:  


Copyright Rex Steven Sikes IDEA Seminars 2000 If you’d like to learn more about directing your mind for success using Directed Questions™ and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) go to IDEA Seminars website http://www.idea-seminars.com for home study products.

NOTE: I returned to college in the 80’s. I don’t feel I am any smarter than anyone else. I listened to my professors for the sensory language they used most often, and I noticed how they moved their eyes and gestured while they spoke or thought about a question they were asked.

THEN I wrote my term research and term papers, and answered my essay tests questions utilizing what I had noticed, using the words the professor seemed to prefer. I attribute this practice as the one that took me from a D- student to an A student. I LITERALLY learned to speak their language.

I’d get notes on my papers like ‘You clearly see how this is important’ or “You have a great grasp on the material’ or “I liked the tone of your discussion’. As I said, I’m no smarter I just learned how to better communicate with people who are important. Aren’t there areas and people in your life where doing similarly would be useful?

If I can learn to benefit in this way you can too! Wouldn’t it be wonderful to transform your life in simple yet powerful ways by learning a few new things? I’m sure it would be, don’t you?” Rex Sikes

I wonder how delighted you will be to discover yourself having an amazing day, today?

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The High Cost To Breaking Your Promise!

no excuses - when you really matter

“Is there anything worse than someone who does not keep their word?  When they break they promise they demonstrate that their promise to you is meaningless. It shows us that they have no willpower nor backbone in carrying out what they say they will.

It indicates that they are weak or they just don’t care enough for you to keep it. Their promise is empty just as the results they get are empty. They do not care. They are not loyal. Their word or promise is of no value. It sucks!

When someone breaks their promise to another person s/he lets the other person down. As a result of that disappointment and the bad feelings negative associations pile up. The person gets a reputation of being a ‘let down’, ‘a disappointment’ and of being an untrustworthy person. You don’t want that, do you?

Always Keep Your Word

You should always keep your word! Your word should be golden! It should be unbreakable! You should never give your word unless you keep your word. You should place a high-value on doing what you say you will.

If you won’t do what you say you will then you shouldn’t make any commitment in the first place. NEVER give your word unless you absolutely intend to keep it. Do not disappoint anyone by making a promise you won’t keep.

If you make excuses and blame circumstances you demonstrate you are not in charge of your life. You made a promise, broke it and then whine or complain that it isn’t your fault that something came up. No one cares about your reasons for failure they only know YOU did not deliver.

When you promise something you are claiming you will follow through. You are stating implicitly that YOU will deliver.

What Constitutes A Promise?

IS it only a promise when you say, ‘I promise’? HELL NO!  A promise is implied whenever you say you will do anything or offer to do anything. The promise is always inferred. It is understood that you intend to deliver. If you won’t deliver don’t say you will.

If you said, ‘Today, I’ll buy lunch’ but when the bill comes you say ‘Forget it’ what do you think people would think of you? Why would you offer if you weren’t going to? If you say, ‘I’ll meet you at noon Friday’, but don’t show up do you think they’d think you were cool?

If you told a child, ‘I will come by after school’ and then didn’t how might the child feel? Do you really want to do that to a kid? DO you want to let anyone down? Do you want to get the reputation that your word isn’t any good? It is important to do what you say you will.

Consider this: IF it is that important to keep your word to another person how  important is it to keep your word to yourself?

You Need To Keep Your Promises To Yourself

If you say today you are going to do the laundry do the laundry.  If you claim today you will not eat donuts DON’T eat the donuts.  If you say you are going to take out the trash every week on Wednesday then take out the trash every week.

It is just as bad to break your promise to yourself as it is to another person. When you break your promise to yourself you betray yourself. You create failure and disappointment. You give yourself a reason to berate yourself and feel negative about you. You lower your self esteem. You injure yourself! After all, you have let yourself down, yet again!

This disappointment can stimulate negative self-talk, you can re-live old disappointing memories. It provides you negative ammunition and takes the wind out of your sails. You don’t focus on the ‘can do’ but on the can’t or didn’t do. You can chalk up another reason why you are a failure.

There Is A High Cost To Breaking Your Promises

When you make a promise or give your word to anyone the expectations are that you will keep it. Your word is your bond! A person only has their word to give and nothing else. If you say, ‘I can give money’ the money is the item you promised. If you don’t give the money you broke your word. Do you get it? It’s what you say!

If you can’t be trusted to keep your word what have you? What are you worth? It would be better to not say or promise anything than to break your word.  If you’re not going to take the trash out every Wednesday, as you promised, don’t say that you’re going to.

The key to keeping your word is to find a way to give it that allows you to win when you do and that doesn’t gnaw away at you if you don’t.

Perhaps, you promise to  take the trash out every Wednesday unless something more important comes up. Then each week at the appropriate time you prioritize. If you don’t take the trash out THEN it is because something truly more important has come up. In this way you have kept your promise to yourself.

You have acted on the first most important item on your list. Then the next. You will take the trash out as you knock off the items before it. This way you are not only taking the trash out but, because you have prioritized, you are doing other important things as well. This makes it a win/win for you.

Following through on what you say you will is important to your health and well being. You  need to work your plans and feel good about yourself. You can’t feel optimum if you are disappointing yourself and others. No one wants to think, feel or be told (by yourself or someone else) ‘See I knew you’d let me down’.

Make Keeping Your Word A Habit

You can learn to make anything a habit if you want to. Start simple, start small and keep it easy. Each day make a short list of four or five taks you want to complete before the day’s end. If you prefer do it the night before.

Keep these things ones you can achieve. They should not be overwhelming or time consuming. They could be things like take the trash out. Call a friend or make that business call. Walk your pet. Straighten up your desk or work area before leaving. Practice piano, read a chapter in a book. Keep it easy enough to do.

Once you complete a task cross it off your list. When you have completed all on your list of things to accomplish notice how good it feels. Pat yourself on the back. Enjoy and celebrate your success. You might be amazed at how good you feel. Repeat this process the next day.

Spaced repetion is what makes a habit. Repeat the behavior your want to learn, again and again, each day and soon it will be a habit. As it becomes a habit your confindence will become stronger just as your muscles do when you exercise them repeatedly.

Soon you will be up to handling larger tasks and more important promises. You will have made follow through and completion a habit. When you want to or have to accomplish something really big or important you will be able to.

You will follow through and keep your word. You will do whatever it takes because you are a’can do’ person. That will make you feel even better again! You will build for yourself a success cycle.

You will feel better about you, believe in and trust yourself. You will enjoy and get known for keeping  your word. You’ll develop the reputation as one whose word is golden. Place a high priority on doing what you say you will and you will absolutely transform your life!” Rex Sikes

Have a great day!

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Secret To Building Self Confidence For Success

change your attitude and it will change your life

‘Confidence builds success and success builds confidence. Confidence is important. How does one build confidence?   If the successful person wants to achieve something she goes after it. It never occurs to a successful person that she might not get it. If she wants it she gets it.

How do you build this kind of success?

How would you begin to learn to walk a tightrope 60 feet in the air?

Would you climb to the top of the ladder and just step out on faith? You most assuredly would not. That most likely would bring disaster. The way in which one learns to walk a tightrope is by putting safety first. You begin with the tightrope lying on the ground.

You walk on the tightrope ON THE GROUND. Once you can do this repeatedly you raise the  tightrope a few inches off the ground. Then you raise it to a foot, then three feet,  six feet and then 10. You never go any higher than you are able to successful walk it. Before you know it you are walking way up high.

You first acquire the skill close to the earth. Once accomplished you go to the next level up. You learn to walk a tightrope in increments. You have to master the skill at lower heights to build the confidence needed to move up to to higher heights. You progress incrementally.

Once you have succeeded at a particular height (level) you feel confident. Success breeds confidence and that confidence breeds more success. You feel ready to move on. You know you can do it so you aren’t afraid to try. You have no doubt or fears.

You know you will succeed because you have built a track record of successes.

Apply this to getting your goals and making your dreams come true.

Set the goal you wish to accomplish small enough you believe you can attain it but large enough it is still fun to go after. This is important! You must make  it small enough that you ABSOLUTELY believe you could do it. You know, without question, you are capable. You expect to succeed.

If your goal is to make lots of money and if you have never made much you need to set your sights smaller at first. You will work your way up but start with something you know you can achieve.

If you have never made more than 40,000 dollars, before you  set your sights on millions chose an amount, that while it is a stretch, you know you can realistically make it happen. It will be a stretch but you can do it. First aim for 50, 60 or 80 thousand. Imagine how you would feel if you double your income? Pretty good I bet.

Once you have achieved that goal and you enjoy the confidence that comes with that success you set a larger goal. Perhaps, you aim at 150 thousand. Once you accomplish this and feel that success you aim for 500 thousand. You put the goal just outside your reach but not so far outside that you doubt you could get it.

You must believe you can succeed in order to succeed!

You want to build into your mental mindset, this success factor; ‘I can get my goals. I can make my dreams come true,’ How you know that is an accurate statement that you can trust IS because you have the wins to prove it. You have been setting goals and accomplishing them.

You know you are the sort of person who can go after what you want and get it. You keep winning!

Many people wish and hope for BIG things. They hope somehow someone will grace them with their wish fulfilled. They don’t realize that they are resourceful enough to make their dreams come true because they have never tried. They have wished large and when it was not fulfilled they felt worse.

The lost faith in their abilities because their abilities were never utilized. The lost faith in the universe because they wished, never pursued, and hoped circumstances would prove favorable. When it didn’t they accepted failure as their reality. There’s a vast difference between wishing and manifesting your dreams.

Confidence comes by training yourself to win small and then gradually win larger and larger. The more you succeed and overcome obstacles the more you grow confident and continue to succeed. Start small and finish big! Make each goal bigger.

The successful person knows that in every obstacle there are the seeds of greater opportunity. The successful person knows that temporary defeat is not failure until it has been accepted as such.

If you  give up you have quit the game.

As long as you play there is no permanent failure. There is challenge and opportunity. By playing the game and by keeping at it you develop skill and confidence. Repetition over time builds habit. Confidence and success are habits you build build playing the game.

Start small and work your way up. That is how you become confident and competent. With each win you feel stronger and you are stronger. You develop your skills and your confidence increases as you utilize your skills. Confidence and competent skill acquisition go hand in hand.

You build confidence by walking the tightrope near the ground. You master that ability before raising the height. You become the best by mastering the basics. Anything you can do at a lower level you could do at a higher level. Every step is important so you don’t want to skip any steps.

Make your dreams come true. Follow this formula for success and you will easily succeed. Remember, start small and finish big! Keep going and do not let anything stop you. Soon be making your large goals a reality.” Rex Sikes

Have a fascinating day!

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What Kind Of Abundance Do You Experience PT 1

you decide every second

“You can have anything you want in abundance. Health, love, success, money, things. Or you can have anything you don’t want in abundance. Illness, broken relationships, failure, poverty, no home or possessions. The critical question is what kind of abundance are you creating and attracting?

You will get whatever your predominate thoughts are about. You will make happen and attract whatever you think about and focus on most of the day all the days of the week. What we concentrate on occupies our mind, our attention and our energy. Our energy goes into whatever we are preoccupied with.

So if troubles; lack of money or mounting debt and bills, discord in relationships, difficult home life, career disappointment or being out of work, are what you think about most day and night you are keeping your troubles alive. Worry is negative goal setting. What you think about you bring about.

Some time ago I was doing okay. Then some bad things happened. One after the other more bad things occurred. I wondered, ‘Why all this bad luck? Everything is going wrong!’ I used a lot stronger language I can assure you. It seemed everywhere I turned it only got worse. I complained, I whined, I tried to fix it desperately but it only continued. At the height of it all, I gave up. I realized at some point I couldn’t change it as I was. I had to change me.

I made it a point to read positive inspiring material every morning first thing. I’d read a page, a chapter whatever I could make work for the day. I would do it no less than thirty days. So I began. I read and listened to inspiring audios whenever I could. Slowly during the month my mindset relaxed and my attitude began to change bit by bit. I cautiously began to apply some of the things I was reading about and learning. I felt grateful I was taking the initiative.

I vowed to stay sane and not get carried away or become one of these ‘pink’ energy bubble people I had spent so much time around and even dated in years past. I wanted solid, practical, applicable skills, thoughts, and behaviors that would transform me without me becoming doe-eyed and hugging trees.

I didn’t want to become a cosmic cosmonaut with my feet six inches off the ground. I wanted to live in the everyday world and get some relief from nagging issues I carried with me, even though I have been a life long student and proponent of personal change and development.

If I had to become a weirdo to be happy then I really wasn’t all that interested. I read things from ancient texts, I read Napoleon Hill again, some more, throughout the years. I read others, anyone and everyone, who seemed to suggest that there was and is a realistic way to make wonderful things happen without relying on mysticism and other ‘beings’ to do it for me.

What can I say. Those thirty days transformed my life. At the conclusion of the thirty I continued the practice. I do to this day. I have learned and grown and have seen and understood so much. I have much to learn and yet to understand. Life though, is so much more incredible than I could have ever imagined. I filled myself with gratitude and joy. I felt confident and successful! I felt happy!

It has nothing to do with things or accumulations it is the depth of the change within me that I value most. I can enjoy possessions in ways I never did before. I am excited and eager and enthused in ways I never was before. I live and love living. Really, about all I can say is ‘WOW’! I feel so blessed and so thankful!

I can trace back to precisely what the first incident was and then the second that made me begin to realize I needed to approach things differently. It was a very difficult time for me as things went from bad to worse. I point this out because it seems this is often the way we come to changing ourselves. Something gets so bad, or we bottom out and we say, ‘stop, no more, never again’ and we move on into new ways of thinking and being.

Every moment of life is amazing EVEN when it appears not to be. I have done some incredible things in my life and I got settled and was coasting. I began to take things for granted. It was easy to complain when things started getting tougher. I even enjoyed complaining. Except when I did complain more and more of the joy and goodness and delight drained from me. I learned to put a guard on my thought and speech.

I AM SO GLAD IT DID!!! Had I kept going as I was going I can only bet it would have sucked even more. Fortunately, some glimmer inside me, told me I had to take the driver’s seat of my own life again. I am so thrilled and happy and pleased with the journey ever since. Did the skies open up and riches rain down on me. Nope, all things take some time. Gradually, bit by bit things got better.” Rex Sikes   More In Next Post!

Have a delightful day!

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