Tag Archives: Relationships

You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know And It Is Stopping You From Getting What You Want

Horizons a-road-of-poems-phil-koch

“Your personal blind spot. You can’t see it. You aren’t even aware of it. You don’t know it exists. Others may, but you don’t. You don’t know what you don’t know. You can’t. You are unable to. You need to become aware of what you don’t know because it IS  limitation.

What you don’t know IS limiting you. How do you become aware of what you do not know? You rely on others who DO know what you don’t and can see that you don’t know it. These become your mentors and coaches, your teachers, guides and consultants

These become your trainers or sages. They can help you begin to see what you can’t yet. Those who are where you want to be and have started from where you started are most qualified because they have been where you are and have gone where you want to go.

Minds Are Like Parachutes They Only Work When Open

How willing are you to learn? How teachable are you? Can you stay open? For most people the three words that cause most trouble are ‘I know that.’ People stop, when they think they know something. Often, they only know about something. They are informed.

They hear a presenter speaking about something they have only read about and they think or say, ‘I know that’. Instead of staying open and listening and learning. If you really knew THAT why are you getting the lackluster results you are getting? Hmmmmmm?

If you really KNEW that you’d be applying it in a way to make your life better. To KNOW and not to DO is to not know. Information is only power when you USE IT to transform. Knowing is the ability to take inspired action not just satisfying intellectual information.

You Can’t See Your Own Face Without A Mirrored Reflection

Get it? If you think you know something how are you using it to transform your experience into something more grand? How are you assisting others in making positive changes? If you aren’t yet, you can. Stop! Let go of being right. Allow yourself to be humble.

You may need some assistance so be willing to allow the right others to guide you. Invest in yourself. You may need a book or some audio material, a mentor, a program or coaching and training.  You may not but allow yourself to be helped in moving yourself forward.

Walk the path with someone else. Let them support you. Allow it. Look, listen, learn and apply. The proper fruit of knowledge is action. The most important thing one can do is stay open, be available and use what you are learning. Make the changes you want.

Be Willing To Listen To Those People Who Have What You Want

Get feedback. Get feedback from the results you get and from others. Learn from everything. Evaluate and apply the feedback. Be careful to not just dismiss it. Awareness and understand are the two first steps to change. You don’t change unless you DO something.

That may be changing your thoughts because mindset is the first BIG piece. Get the mindset, the attitude, the thoughts right. Your feelings will follow and help you produce the right actions. Performing the right actions, consistently for long enough to become habits.

You want success habits that lead to successful results. We already have some success habits and some not success habits. We have those that support us and those which don’t. We have habits of doing and habits of not doing. If results suck you need new habits.

Listen To Those People Who Are Already Doing What You Want To

If you can’t see it, or you ‘already know that’ but you aren’t changing AND you want to, then find someone who can help you take the steps that serve you. Get you head on straight and bring your best game. It is great to have assistance from the correct sources.

Maps exist to help you reduce the amount of time it takes to get from place to place. They exist because people who already know they way shared the way. Some maps are incorrect so be sure you choose your sources wisely.  Listen to the correct sources.

If those around you say it can’t be done, and are not doing it, while there are others who are, they don’t know either. They have made up their minds against it. Be respectful, be polite, love them anyway and find those who are doing it already to guide you. Choose!

Tour Guides Exist To Point Out What You Might Otherwise Miss

Be open to the feedback from the right sources. Learn from it and apply it. Be grateful for opportunities and for those who support you. You are blessed when you discover those right mentors who care enough to be there for you. Enjoy your guides and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate fully this day!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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What To Do When Things Go Terribly Wrong!!

horizon sky and water

“What do you do when things are going right and then whoops everything seems to be going wrong? What does a positive thinker do when they screw up and make a mistake? Do they feel bad? Can they, should they? I have been asked this question a lot over the years.

Recently, a situation presented itself, that allowed me to address these questions again. I hope you discover the answer within as you read what I share next.

I received a call from a couple who are coaching clients of mind. They hit the Wall of Woe and were on their way to a Pity Party when they dialed the phone and reached out.

Problems Have Seeds Of Opportunity Within

They had an argument with their son. They felt they had pushed him into it and were afraid they had lost him. Their concern was that he might move out and they did not want it to come to that.

Their anguish stemmed from feeling he was taking advantage of them. They were willing to do almost anything for him and it seemed he did little in return. After much asking and begging him to take some responsibility around the house they had it. They got mad.

Friends were more important to him. He would do anything for his friends but provided almost no help around the house. He overslept a lot and broke agreements regularly. They know he is a teenager but after a while of this they had had it.

They let him know they were very upset. Now they were afraid they had pushed him too hard and far. I was glad they called. They were at the end of their rope with guilt and shame. Dad felt awful for yelling loudly and Mom did too.

It Is Okay To Be Human

We all have opinions about parenting style and responsibility. We all have rules and ‘shoulds’ for ourself and for others. They felt they had done wrong but weren’t completely wrong in doing so. They felt conflicted.

They felt they should have and could have handled it differently. They knew they were pushing hard at the time and now they feared. I am not sharing what we did regarding that. Every situation is handled uniquely and appropriately for the client.

Many of my coaching clients are business leaders, filmmakers and actors and individual men and women (married or otherwise) but I do consult with a some couples. I am not discussing their parenting here but I will tell you some of what I shared with them regarding their feelings.

We all hit that wall from time to time. It is natural. Life has ups and downs. There are rhythms to everything. We all have the ability to disappoint ourselves and hurt others without meaning to. We are human and most of us feel the hurt deeply. We also have the ability to feel marvelous.

We Make Mistakes – Accept It – To Err Is Human

It IS okay to be a positive thinker AND have a bad day. It IS okay to be working on improving yourself AND slip up from time to time. It IS okay to be human! A positive thinker is one who seeks to find the positive in a situation. Sometimes that is difficult or takes time to recognize.

Attempting to be perfect is not be natural. All emotions are part of the human condition. It is okay to feel hurt, disappointed, angry, and guilt. It is normal to feel any and all of them. So accept what you did. Take responsibility for it and when ready move on.

Make good when you can, if you can. Apologize if an apology is needed or will help the other person. Process what happened and how you are feeling and move forward when you are ready to move on. Forgive. It may not do anything for the other person but it will help you.

Allow all the feelings, allow what is going on. If you cry, cry that is fine. Whatever occurs allow it. When ready move on. You feel it and when it is over let it go. The waves come in but they also go out. Guilt is good if it keeps up from repeating a behavior that may be harmful to self or others.

Allow  Let Go  Move On

Feel enough quilt to get the message. Resolve to be different and let go of the guilt. It did its job. Do not hang onto emotions needlessly.It is no longer required. Some people have great difficulty in living normal, well-adjusted lives. Just be you! Feel it and let it go.

The more I learned to manage my thinking and my emotional states the less time I needed before I moved on. What used to take days, or weeks or longer now takes a much shorter time. Sometimes days, hours, minutes or seconds. Sometimes it takes longer too. It is whatever it is. Whatever it is – it is the right thing, the right amount.

There is no right or wrong amount of time to spend processing hurt or loss. Allow what feels natural and right. Don’t blame yourself or others. Don’t be harsh and critical of yourself. You made a mistake. It is part of being human. We all make them.

Treat Yourself Gently

Be gentle, respectful, kind and loving of yourself and the other party. When ready aim your thoughts and feelings back toward the positive. Steer yourself again into a powerful position. Look for the smiles and feel the gratitude. Focus on what you want.

Celebrate the learning from the recent situation. I’ve discovered that truly all things work together for good. Blessings and delights are always around the corner. Sometimes we just can’t see them. Turn back to gratitude and celebration. Dwell on good things.

Some times our darkest moments become our finest hour but we don’t know that while going through it. UNLESS – unless you condition yourself to begin to always think this way.

Learn Patience

Your awareness increases through your daily commitment and experiences. The longer you practice positive thinking the better equipped you are when things go wrong. You more easily recognize that all challenges also present opportunity.

Then you may be more prepared for difficulty. We become what we think about most during the day.Then when upset occurs you know  it will pass. There will be reason to celebrate and be thankful through all of it.

Perhaps, this couple and their son needed this exact exchange. For whatever reason. Perhaps not. Who can say?  As long as they love each other and are willing to forgive each other they will do fine. It may take some time or it could resolve quickly.

Make New Mistakes

Great good can come from these circumstances if they are willing to look for and become aware of it. It is obvious this family does deeply love and care for each other. As long as they seek to accept and understand each other they will be fine.

We all would be better if we put these principles into practice with our loved ones and friends. Be patient with yourself, others and circumstances. Remember, this problem will pass. Cultivate Patience!

Yes, positive thinkers can stumble and fall. Everyone falls! Not everyone gets up. It is in the getting up that victory is born. Get up, shake the dust off and move on. Everyone makes mistakes. Accept it, correct it as best you can and move forward.

Learn from it so you don’t make the same mistake again but make new ones each time. Never try to be perfect. Just be who you are. Who you are is already someone wonderful. Celebrate and be thankful for everything in your life. Be glad to be human!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy this beautiful day!

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PSS  A great thing to do is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

What To Do When Hurting

horizons fence post curved road

“Are you hurting? Have you been hurt, sad and disappointed? Do you know anyone who is grieving? How about family and friends who are down and out, things just aren’t working well for them and they could use some help? Know anyone like this? It could be you or someone else? It could be someone close to you or a stranger.

It is true we all have struggles. There are difficulties people face. Some manage better than others but the fact is that everyone at sometime has pain and suffering, hurt and loss. We all are human and there is a wide range of human emotions.

We need to understand that people hurt. Even people who have more than you or I, or who seem to have it all together face challenges. There are people more fortunate and less fortunate but it rains and shines on all.

Understand this and have more compassion. Understand that we all need a kind word from time to time, a hug, a look of understanding, or silent but present support. Some people want you to help fix it with them, or even for them. Others don’t want any help they just want you to stand with them and for them.

Sometimes we need to be quiet while people get it together at other times the may want, need or expect some encouragement. Most importantly, whether family or friend, or stranger all people need a true friend at times.

Open your heart to all people. Spread love and light around. Even if it is only in your positive imagination that is better than judgement and criticism. Wish people well. Send them kind thoughts and energy. Help them if you are able. Accept their suffering and allow them to be who they are without conditions.

When we understand we are all in it together we can discover more happiness for each of us. A rising tide lifts all boats. Pain passes as do joys. Tomorrow brings another day. Darkness precedes dawn. Day gives way to night. There are cycles too. Allow nature to take its course. Be patient. ‘This too will pass’.

Be sensitive. Be kind. Be tolerant and accepting. Be more welcoming and inviting. Open up and extend your kindness to everyone. Even those who you may have thought, in your past, that they didn’t deserve it. Transform yourself. When you include all others YOU transform because you become available. Be gentle and loving. Spread peace. Help make someone’s day a little easier.

If you are hurting the best way out is to help another who is hurting too. If you need help or a kind word allow yourself to ask for it. Be a friend to others and be a friend to yourself. Treat yourself as you would treat a loved one who is needing compassion. Love yourself!

Sometimes people just need a smile. Smile more today. Give a positive nod. Let people know you see them, they aren’t invisible. They count! Help make another person’s day more pleasant. Enjoy giving someone an emotional boost. Speak well, speak to bless, heal and prosper all. As you do this you will feel it!

Your heart will open more and you may experience all sorts of little joys and big ones you didn’t know possible. Delight in helping others delight! You will discover there is magic everywhere!” Rex Sikes

Have a great day!

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.


Do This One Thing To Feel Better And Think Clearer!

stop sign

“Do you sit home watching television, eating a snack, while on the computer playing a game?  Are you someone who texts while walking or talking to others? Do you try to work while holding a conversation on social media? Hey, we all do it!

Most of us think it makes us more productive to be able to do more than one thing at a time. It doesn’t. Research indicates doing more than one thing at a time tends to stress us out and isn’t good for our physical or mental health.

Too Much Is Too Much

We tend to communicate more poorly when doing multiple things at once. It is activity that may make us feel busy but is not productive behavior. We can be busy but not accomplish much. We are far more productive when we do one task at a time and complete it.

An aspect to the practice of Zen or meditation in general is to learn singularity. To be able to focus and concentrate. When we have purpose and become ‘one with the task’ we are freer.

We learn to control the ‘monkey mind’ which jumps from thought to thought and activity to activity, and slow down to enjoy being in the moment. Slowing down is something most of us need to learn well!

You don’t have to practice Zen or meditation but it is useful and beneficial.  What you can do is simple. Do fewer things at a time. When you eat simply eat and enjoy your food. Slow down.

Focus And Be Healthier

Obviously, we use eating to socialize and the family meal can be an important time. So make it a point to enjoy eating this way when alone at home or in a restaurant. On a subway, while enjoying a snack or meal, focus on the food and enjoy it.

Concentrate on eating and chewing slowly and savoring each bite. Don’t read, don’t look at your phone, don’t converse, don’t watch TV, just eat. Let it nourish you! It may seem difficult at first because we are so accustomed to being distracted. Try it! Just eat.

Don’t eat and drive and for goodness sake do not drive and put your make up on or text. Drive safely! Pay attention to what is going on around you. Don’t eat and walk, text and walk or look at your phone.

Simplify And Become Happier

You can sit on a park bench and listen and observe. Get back in touch with what is happening. When you walk, walk and enjoy simply walking. Just walk. Enjoy being in nature. Notice your surroundings. Get back in touch with what goes on around you.

Turn of the TV or the computer. Put your phone away. Enjoy what is happening in real time without feeling compelled to take a picture of yourself or post it on a FB wall. Stay true to the moment as it unfolds. Live in the moment as completely as you are able.

Enjoy moments for being simple moments. Disconnect from all the distractions and enjoy life as it happens. Doing this will make you happier as well as healthier. It is good for you.

Take a bath or hot tube and just fully enjoy the sensation of relaxing. Relax, unwind and let go. Sip your evening cocktail or beverage and just pay total attention to it. Focus with relaxed awareness. Savor.

Sit, just listen to sounds or music with your eyes closed. Don’t read or do anything else. Just listen. When you read just read without background music or TV or computer noise..

One Thing At A Time, Slowly

In our world it may not be practical to do this all the time. Make it a point of simplifying more of your time. When you can find moments take the moments. The more you do the more you can do.

As you enjoy them you will find more moments to make your own. You will feel better in all ways as you delight in the beauty of a single task. You will think clearer. You will feel better. Simple can be good!

Make the most of the moment by being in it. Be with your partner totally when you can. Be with your children or parents totally whenever you can. Your relationships will be more rewarding for all of you. Limit the distractions, focus, be present. BE with each other.

You will communicate more effectively and honestly. Your attention will be where it should be when you care about yourself and others. Savor the simplicity in singularity. Hey, just keep it simple!” Rex Sikes

Make time for yourself to enjoy this day!

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A Simple, Easy Way To Treat Your Loved Ones Right

no excuses - when you really matter

“With technology comes advances. There is no doubt we are better off the more we have invented.  As we advance the same technology can create problems. Nothing is inherently good or evil. A hammer can be used to build or tear down.

Social Media Is Separating Us and Dividing Us

We don’t ‘connect’ as we used to. Instead of calling and speaking we text each other. Often, we group text or we tweet followers and post to friends on social media. It is devoid of human speaking and listening and give and take.  Frequently, we are just posting or reading announcements on walls or watching video without any give and take.

Enter a room anywhere today and you will see people staring at their devices instead of talking together.  Most all of them gazing at their phone are gaming, or texting or reading or watching some media. Human interaction is limited and if there is any at all in that room it is through electronics with someone somewhere else.

This prevalent form of ‘staying connected’ is not meaningful contact. We are not actually talking and listening to or trying to understand anyone anymore. These are not conversations where meaning and understanding are important.

These are written notes littered with abbreviations and emoticons. We don’t hear their voice and their expression we read texts in our voice with our expression. Because we don’t listen or look we assume and misinterpret. Since we don’t actually talk we don’t actually connect.

We think we are more connected through electronics and social media but we may actually be more isolated and less exposed to diverse thinking, cultures and people. A room full of people all on their devices instead of interacting together is not a coming together.

Living Through Your Phone Or Lens Is Not Living

Watching a documentary on an African town is not the same as visiting the town and getting to know and experience the people. We are missing out on actual experiences. We opt to live vicariously rather than to really live. We have become passive observers, shielded behind our mobil devices, rather than participants in life.

Instead of it making us better it lessens our experiences and feelings. It allows us to escape. It preoccupies us. Instead of meeting the new person sitting next to you you retreat into the reliable escape of entertainment.

You game, watch youtube, text someone, read FB to avoid an actual real life encounter with the people right there with you. You are shut off not involved. You are limited and not expanding.

Give It A Rest And Take A Break

Make time for family and friends. Shut off your phones and put them away. Have some real face time with the people you love and care about. PUT THE MOBIL DEVICE AWAY. Your children OR your parents deserve YOU and your uninterrupted time and attention. Don’t deprive them.

Don’t be tempted to answer the call or the text. The person in front of you is more important, most likely, than the person texting in. Most texts and phone calls can wait. Make time for people in your life. Make time for your loved ones! Respect each other!

Respect the other person by giving your undivided attention. Give your complete attention without checking your FB wall. It is rude to be constantly picking up your phone instead of listening and looking at the human with you. It is annoying to others to be conversing with you only to be interrupted by text tones and phone calls. Stop it!

Learn To Live Without Your Phone 

You will survive! Many people, if they forget their phone, panic. STOP IT! It is only a phone. Yes, it is shiny, has bangs and whistles and costs a fortune but it is no where near worth the value of your real friends and family who want to connect with you.

Put it aside. Learn to live without it so you can enjoy it without being addicted to it. If you forget it at home, so what, you will survive. Those feelings of ‘gotta have it’ are the feelings and the stressors you want to eliminate. Relax, it is only a phone. You will survive!

In olden, by gone days, (a few years back) no one had personal devices to stay in touch and for the most part the world went on and on anyway. It is a fallacy to think we need the phone just in case. That is a sense of immediacy and foreboding that is artificial and only causes worry and stress. You don’t need it.

Hug Not Hold

True, once and a while you had to make an important call or you might have missed an important call BUT life went on. There is no reason to be a slave to your electronic device. It is the people that are important not the devices. It is the human you can hug not the gadget you can hold that matters.

Relax. Schedule time to connect. Have a date night with your loved one or friends and turn off your phones. Leave the electronics behind. Make it a point to shut the phone off for half a day or more. You can do it even if it seems as though you can’t.

At the end of your life you won’t say, ‘If I had only spent more time texting and posting to Facebook. If I’d only answered the phone more often.’ I bet you are going to wish for more time with the people you love.

Do not cheat yourself of them of your time and attention. Realize right this instant what is important and who is important in your life right NOW!, Spend the quality time together you and they deserve.” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day. Connect with someone in a special way!

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The High Cost To Breaking Your Promise!

no excuses - when you really matter

“Is there anything worse than someone who does not keep their word?  When they break they promise they demonstrate that their promise to you is meaningless. It shows us that they have no willpower nor backbone in carrying out what they say they will.

It indicates that they are weak or they just don’t care enough for you to keep it. Their promise is empty just as the results they get are empty. They do not care. They are not loyal. Their word or promise is of no value. It sucks!

When someone breaks their promise to another person s/he lets the other person down. As a result of that disappointment and the bad feelings negative associations pile up. The person gets a reputation of being a ‘let down’, ‘a disappointment’ and of being an untrustworthy person. You don’t want that, do you?

Always Keep Your Word

You should always keep your word! Your word should be golden! It should be unbreakable! You should never give your word unless you keep your word. You should place a high-value on doing what you say you will.

If you won’t do what you say you will then you shouldn’t make any commitment in the first place. NEVER give your word unless you absolutely intend to keep it. Do not disappoint anyone by making a promise you won’t keep.

If you make excuses and blame circumstances you demonstrate you are not in charge of your life. You made a promise, broke it and then whine or complain that it isn’t your fault that something came up. No one cares about your reasons for failure they only know YOU did not deliver.

When you promise something you are claiming you will follow through. You are stating implicitly that YOU will deliver.

What Constitutes A Promise?

IS it only a promise when you say, ‘I promise’? HELL NO!  A promise is implied whenever you say you will do anything or offer to do anything. The promise is always inferred. It is understood that you intend to deliver. If you won’t deliver don’t say you will.

If you said, ‘Today, I’ll buy lunch’ but when the bill comes you say ‘Forget it’ what do you think people would think of you? Why would you offer if you weren’t going to? If you say, ‘I’ll meet you at noon Friday’, but don’t show up do you think they’d think you were cool?

If you told a child, ‘I will come by after school’ and then didn’t how might the child feel? Do you really want to do that to a kid? DO you want to let anyone down? Do you want to get the reputation that your word isn’t any good? It is important to do what you say you will.

Consider this: IF it is that important to keep your word to another person how  important is it to keep your word to yourself?

You Need To Keep Your Promises To Yourself

If you say today you are going to do the laundry do the laundry.  If you claim today you will not eat donuts DON’T eat the donuts.  If you say you are going to take out the trash every week on Wednesday then take out the trash every week.

It is just as bad to break your promise to yourself as it is to another person. When you break your promise to yourself you betray yourself. You create failure and disappointment. You give yourself a reason to berate yourself and feel negative about you. You lower your self esteem. You injure yourself! After all, you have let yourself down, yet again!

This disappointment can stimulate negative self-talk, you can re-live old disappointing memories. It provides you negative ammunition and takes the wind out of your sails. You don’t focus on the ‘can do’ but on the can’t or didn’t do. You can chalk up another reason why you are a failure.

There Is A High Cost To Breaking Your Promises

When you make a promise or give your word to anyone the expectations are that you will keep it. Your word is your bond! A person only has their word to give and nothing else. If you say, ‘I can give money’ the money is the item you promised. If you don’t give the money you broke your word. Do you get it? It’s what you say!

If you can’t be trusted to keep your word what have you? What are you worth? It would be better to not say or promise anything than to break your word.  If you’re not going to take the trash out every Wednesday, as you promised, don’t say that you’re going to.

The key to keeping your word is to find a way to give it that allows you to win when you do and that doesn’t gnaw away at you if you don’t.

Perhaps, you promise to  take the trash out every Wednesday unless something more important comes up. Then each week at the appropriate time you prioritize. If you don’t take the trash out THEN it is because something truly more important has come up. In this way you have kept your promise to yourself.

You have acted on the first most important item on your list. Then the next. You will take the trash out as you knock off the items before it. This way you are not only taking the trash out but, because you have prioritized, you are doing other important things as well. This makes it a win/win for you.

Following through on what you say you will is important to your health and well being. You  need to work your plans and feel good about yourself. You can’t feel optimum if you are disappointing yourself and others. No one wants to think, feel or be told (by yourself or someone else) ‘See I knew you’d let me down’.

Make Keeping Your Word A Habit

You can learn to make anything a habit if you want to. Start simple, start small and keep it easy. Each day make a short list of four or five taks you want to complete before the day’s end. If you prefer do it the night before.

Keep these things ones you can achieve. They should not be overwhelming or time consuming. They could be things like take the trash out. Call a friend or make that business call. Walk your pet. Straighten up your desk or work area before leaving. Practice piano, read a chapter in a book. Keep it easy enough to do.

Once you complete a task cross it off your list. When you have completed all on your list of things to accomplish notice how good it feels. Pat yourself on the back. Enjoy and celebrate your success. You might be amazed at how good you feel. Repeat this process the next day.

Spaced repetion is what makes a habit. Repeat the behavior your want to learn, again and again, each day and soon it will be a habit. As it becomes a habit your confindence will become stronger just as your muscles do when you exercise them repeatedly.

Soon you will be up to handling larger tasks and more important promises. You will have made follow through and completion a habit. When you want to or have to accomplish something really big or important you will be able to.

You will follow through and keep your word. You will do whatever it takes because you are a’can do’ person. That will make you feel even better again! You will build for yourself a success cycle.

You will feel better about you, believe in and trust yourself. You will enjoy and get known for keeping  your word. You’ll develop the reputation as one whose word is golden. Place a high priority on doing what you say you will and you will absolutely transform your life!” Rex Sikes

Have a great day!

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Let’s Reconnect Each Other To The Network And Thrive!

what we project we perceive

“What makes this world a beautiful place? Our thoughts, when right thinking, the world is delightful. When we manage our thoughts and think the very best of ourselves, others and circumstances the world is wonderful. We paint this world as we want it to be by our thoughts and attitudes. If it isn’t what you want then you have to change some things.

Our beliefs determine what we see and what we find. Our experience is shaped first within and then realized without. When we think the best of everything we have the best of everything. When we hold others in our heart and wish them love, peace, blessings, abundance, and when we support through kindness this world is amazing.

Go First: Bless, Heal And Prosper

We can give first even without others knowing we are giving. We can care and make a difference! It begins with out thinking but must become our speech and our actions. Only think, say and do those things that help bless, heal and prosper another person and yourself. Live well by thinking, speaking and doing kindness.

There are people who suffer but somehow manage to find the bright spot in the darkness. They live in the light while facing incredible odds and still find it within themselves to love, care for and encourage others. In spite of great personal difficulty they act and help to encourage and inspire others. We all can do more of this.

What makes this world a beautiful place? People do! Without our awareness this place just is. It is a rock hurtling through space at high speed. People give it color, texture, love and life. People do care and do help and do inspire and this is wonderful!

People rallly and support and nurture each other. In pleasant times and in trying times people reach out and are there for one another.

Love One Another

It is worth it to think the best of all people and to hold everyone in the highest esteem. To love and accept each other as Jesus encouraged us to. I am not favoring Jesus here, many have spoken about this need, but his message was simple. ‘Love one another as I have loved you.”

His examples from the scripture are pretty clear. He gave, he healed, he fed, he nourish, he inspired others.

Those he chastized seemed to be greedy know it alls who had no remorse. According to his story he gave his life for them too. He forgave his captors and killers. If he could do this, how can we not do a little something for one another when in need.

He stated that what you do for the least or the most lowly of all people you do for and to him. That is pretty straightforward. We ought to help each other more. We ought not judge we ought just help without prejudice. We should be open and accepting.

There are plenty of times in each day when a smile, a kind word, a note, a message, a small act of caring may be all that is needed to uplift another person. We can help ease their burden just by being pleasant and nice. Opportunities for kindness abound. Hold a door open for someone. Make pleasant eye contact. Chat with a stranger,

Of course, we should do this with family, friends and co-workers. Frankly, we should do it with and for everyone!

Smile More, Be Kind, Uplift, Be Friendly In Thought, Word, Deed

Recognize and validate the people you pass by everyday without giving a thought to. The person who annoys you;  the person begging at the corner; the disenfranchized citizens, the homeless, the needy, the hospitalized. Acknowledge them as you go about your day! Notice and greet them.

We can care. Recognize them. Smile, say hello. Wish them well. Act like they do more than just exist. They are people after all. They may be cut off from family, friends and society. They may need hopsitalization, or a meal or a bed.

They are human and they do have needs. Some just don’t have the money or station in life you and others do. So what!? Treat all people with care and kindness!

If you can’t do anything YOU can always wish them well. You can think highly of them and for them. You can say a little prayer or shower that  person with positive thoughts, feelings of peace, love, joy and positve warm loving energy. Attitude is everything too!

The World Is Filled With People Posing As Strangers

Take moments throughout the day to validate the people who walk the earth around you. They get on elevators with you, walk the streets, pass you by in hallways, the world is filled with people posing as strangers.

We are one species, one family seemingly separated. We have differences and that makes us richer by far than if we were all the same.  Yet, there is THAT aspect of us that is all the same.

We are human! We want and need to be noticed and loved. We need to feel that others know we are here and that we can be heard. We all want to make some form of positive impact and be valuable to another. We want to leave a mark on the world.

There Is Nothing More Sad Than A Lonely Person In The Crowd

That should never be the case. We are all in it together. We are one great human network. Networking shouldn’t only be to get ourselves gain but to get others the help they need.

Some people have fallen out of ‘everyday’ life network and can use some help getting re-connected. Help others connect to resources, theirs and those availble to them. Help each other bless, heal and prosper!

We are ONE organism with different cells. In a healthy body these different cells work together and support each other so the organism can thrive. They are different, they have different functions but the same goal IS to keep the organism alive.

We should do no less when it comes to people. For the species to survive we need to co-operate more. Recognize and validate. Help and heal! We need to listen, actually understand and take actions. We need to manage our thoughts, focus our attention on the positive, and speak and act positively.

What makes the world a beautiful place? When people are there for each other. When they reach out and uplift. There are so many kind, generous wonderful people in the world. Let’s focus on that.

Celebrate what is good! Recognize it! Celerbate it! Appreicate it! Validate it! Let’s make it a point to create more of it. We can if we believe we can! We will! Let’s begin right now!” Rex Sikes

Spend a moment smiling with someone new today!

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Want To Feel Great No Matter What?

phil koch purple flower horizon

“Inside every adversity is a seed of equal opportunity!  In every moment, good and not so good, there is much to celebrate and enjoy. The key is to look for, and find, whatever it is, no matter how tiny, that you can validate and celebrate.

If you want to feel great, feel grateful! When you practice feeling more grateful the results can be profound!

What Is Gratitude?

Celebration and gratitude unlock the door for greater opportunity and benefit. We all have the ability to feel more grateful. It simply means that instead of complaining, whining or blaming we focus on, express and feel good about all we have.

Gratitude means we appreciate the people, the circumstances, the situations or events in our lives and the things we have rather than thinking about what we don’t have or should have. We focus on the good, even in the bad moments. We manage our thoughts and feelings.

Psychological Health Improves

A leading researcher in gratitude study, Robert Emmons, confirms, after multiple studies, that the practice of gratitude increases happiness and reduces depression. Other research conclude it improves resilience in people and raises self-esteem.  It reduces aggression and helps increase empathy.

People who practice gratitude tend to be more relaxed, have more enjoyable feelings and happier memories. They are less envious and less materialistic. They are more optimistic and less self centered.

The practice of feeling grateful reduces toxic chemicals in the body and increases the experience overall more well being. People feel less stressed and overcome trauma more easily.

Physical Health Improves

Grateful people experience fewer aches and pains and are sick less often. They have increased energy and are apt to exercise more. They take better care of themselves and they sleep better. All of which contributes to longevity.

It was determined that sleep comes more easily to those who spend time counting their blessings prior to bed. People who wrote down things they are grateful for had longer and improved your sleep.

Relationships Improves

People who feel and express gratitude tend to be more social and develop nurturing friendships. The practice of thanking others, even strangers, led to more opportunities.  People who were grateful and appreciative recognized and accepted their own, and others, accomplishments more readily. They are kinder.

Career Results Improves

Grateful people tend to experience better career success. They are more likely to make better decision and accomplish their goals. They network more, use their time more wisely are more productive. People who were more grateful tend to generate more income.

More Happiness

The important areas in one’s life all showed improvement. These benefits were tied to keeping a gratitude journal. The simple act of writing down what you are thankful for and what makes you feel good  has profound effects.

The results, the benefits comes to those who take five minutes to concentrate on their blessings. Take some time each day to feel grateful. Stop everything else and focus on what you feel thankful for. It is worth it when you do!

The more people express true gratitude the more people experience greater happiness. If you want to feel more satisfied with life develop an attitude of gratitude. It’s easy! Just count your blessings!” Rex Sikes

Have a beautiful day!

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch

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How To Get Along With Everyone

be the type of person you want to meet

“Napoleon Hill asked his audience, ‘Do you have any idea why it is if I can have all of the religion, the followers of all religions in my classes and get along well with all of them. The Catholics and Protestants, Jews and Gentiles all the races, all the priests.  Do you know why it is?’

The audience shouts out:  ‘You love them all.’

Hill says: ‘That’s right. To me, they’re all one brand. They’re my fellow beings. They’re my brothers and sisters. That’s why I get along with them. I never think of anybody in terms of what he believes politically or religiously or economically.’

‘I think of him in terms of what he’s trying to do to better himself and to better somebody else. That’s the terms that I think of people in and that’s why I get along so well with them.’

I love this. ‘To me they are all one brand’.

Politicians divide us and segregate us into as many possible factions as possible to control and manipulate us and our interests. We are not our skin color, our religion, our economics, our nationality, our politics, our gender, or our preferences. We are all one brand! We are one species. We are human.

Tolerance is the ability to allow those unlike you to co-exist. Acceptance is to embrace without distinction. Our colors, our religions, our economics, our politics and nationalities, whom we love, make us richer not poorer. We ARE diverse and not cut from the same swatch.

That is what is wonderful about our world.

Still, we are one species and we need to understand that. These divisions for control are wrong. We need to end hate not by focusing on what is wrong but by focusing on what is right. We don’t need to declare another ‘war on something’ in order to end it. All the wars we have ever declared on anything go on and on and on and proliferate what we claim we want to eradicate.

We need to love and give, forgive and forget, allow and accept, enjoy and embrace all people. The Golden Rule is so wonderful in this regard. Treat others the way you wish to be treated. Make them feel as comfortable and loved as you want to be. Help them be as rich and successful as you can be. Accept and allow them to thrive as you wish to.

Celebrate and assist each other.

We are all in it together. We are a species on a globe hurtling through space at high speed. We ought to figure out how to peacefully exist together delighting in one another instead of fighting. Most people fight more over ideology than they do over resources. They fight over religion and who loves whom, or the physical characteristics of their neighbors.

It’s Simply insane.

‘Love one another as I have loved you’, said Jesus. That is pretty darn straight forward. It starts with each of us. You cannot expect the other person to go first. You must go first! Begin with you neighbors, the people you meet, greet or see each day. Accept those who cross you path. Practice patience, kindness, love, generosity, acceptance!

THAT IS THE POINT of the Golden Rule. GO FIRST! We put it into practice! One by one and we pay it forward. Of course, you must have an open mind and an open heart in order to do this.You must be flexible and accepting. You must like people and want to get along.

If enough people did this we could reach that Tipping Point. We could fulfill the 100th Monkey Principle and we would make our world a better place. Each of us needs to be responsible for making our world a little bit better.

If each of us actually did this IT WOULD BE better. If you and I decided to start making a difference things will be different. Focus on what we can positively do. Practice becoming a living solution!

I say, begin today, if you haven’t already! Commit to helping make our world the garden paradise it was meant to be.” Rex Sikes

Celebrate everything today!

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Why RAVE Is Important To All People! Use It!

beautiful thoughts positive emotions miracles

“What is it most people crave? They may not admit to it but they sure do respond well to it. Yes, they may downplay it when it happens, and attempt to act like it is no big deal, but it is a big deal and it is important. We all would like it much more often. Can you guess what it is?

In the olden days, not actually that long ago but it does seem a practice forgotten, companies used to send off their retirees with it. The military uses it, schools, churches and temples, charities, clubs and associations, frankly there is probably no organization of any size that doesn’t utilize it in some fashion. Can you name it now?

Okay, here it is. I call it RAVE.  Recognize Appreciate Validate Excellence! We all like to be recognized and appreciated. We need to feel validated. We respond well to others noticing our efforts and calling them out in positive ways. So when people have performed well through time or done something special they should be acknowledged. So RAVE about them!

Retirees used to get sent off with a gold watch and special thanks. The armed services, police, firefighters give medals for valor, service and sacrifice. Schools give awards for merit and diplomas, even scholarships. Businesses provide certificates, perks and dollar incentives.

Churches and temples, charities, hospitals have donor walls or plaques. The entertainment business has the Academy Awards among others. Nearly ever group of some kind has some ceremony or award they confer. There is a reason for this. Think about that for a moment.

These are long standing practices that exist for a solid reason. In some cases some of these ceremonies may have lost their special meaning but the practice has endured since early times!

People like and need to be recognized for who they are and for what they do OR for what they have accomplished. There are recognition ceremonies and banquets. People are brought up, told to stand up or in some manner spot lighted and honored or thanked. Though the recipient may down play this moment it is a very special moment.

People enjoy being recognized and typically perform better when they are. It is a special moment in their life. It can be used when people accomplish something, graduate from school or move up the ladder. Never underestimate the power of recognition and validation. People enjoy having others notice and it is important that we do.

Think about the important people in your life. Could be your parents or your children. It might be your friends and associates. It could be your employees or co-workers. Think about the people who mean a lot to you and consider how you might recognize them.

How might you provide a moment for them to shine? In what ways can you validate who they are and what they do and what they mean to you? Heck, we celebrate just another year of living with a ceremony. How much more important and meaningful is it to be recognized and validated for something other than simply growing older.

Let them know you value them! If you love them tell them and tell them some of the reasons why. Express your appreciation for them and let know how you feel. Come clean with your positive feelings of regard and gratitude and shower them with it. Help them feel truly special. Make their day with thoughts of lovingkindness.

Be specific too! Don’t just be general of vague with your praise but point out some specific behaviors you want to acknowledge. Have a ceremony if you can or a dinner. Make the occasion special, take some time and enjoy it. Make them comfortable and help them to truly feel how important they are to you and why they are.

People respond well to being awarded for merit so give them plenty of reasons to feel great about getting the special attention. Be genuine and they will get that you mean it. Imagine how good you might help someone else feel when you do this. Then remember there is someone else you absolutely must recognize, appreciate and validate. Yourself.

Pat yourself on the back! Recognize the progress you have made. When you have done something you intended to, when you have followed through and kept your commitments to yourself honor and respect that. Acknowledge and recognize it. Appreciate it and reward yourself. Love and thank yourself for being you. Feel the love! Genuinely gift yourself for your performance! RAVE about you to you!” Rex Sikes

Delight in this day!

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