Tag Archives: Positive Attitude

Acceptance, Focus, Gratitude, Mindset

It’s Already Here: You Don’t Have To Look Far To Find It!

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“You are already complete. Ancient mystics and philosophers have told us this forever. We are missing nothing within. Yes, we think we are but the truth is we already have everything we need or want. In Neuro Linguistic Programing (NLP) we have a tenant that states:

You have all the resources already within you to make any change. Some people don’t believe that but those who do WILL discover the truth of that statement. When we think we are limited in any way, we are. When we think we have everything we need, we actually do.

We’ll uncover those resources, become more creative, more aware and more apt to discover and notice those resources whenever we need them or want them. The Reticular Activation System of our brain finds those matches within and without us. It works this way.

You Are Already That Which You Seek – Accept And Allow It

It works, but only for those who are open to it. If you are closed you don’t know what you miss. It’s no different than standing before a closed door you’ve never stood before; you don’t know what’s on the other side. How could you? You can’t. You don’t have access.

But if the door is open you can see what’s there. You can enter and explore. Being open to possibilities is the same. The more open and available you are, the more you can discover and benefit. Staying open is the trick. Let go of beliefs that don’t support and limit you.

You already have it all. You simply have to learn to accept this. Once you begin to accept it you will begin to experience it. As you experience it, the more you do, the more you will. When you accept and believe there are no limitations you become free.

Be Silent And Listen The Inspiration You Seek Is Within You

The freer you become the more free you become. The easier it is to manifest. The more you manifest the better you get at it. Everything is similar to a muscle. It grows with use. It begins with acceptance. It begins by dropping negativity, doubt and defeat. It begins with trust.

It begins by accepting your true resourceful, abundant nature. It begins by accepting yourself as a creator, and attractor. It begins by claiming your power. It comes with recognizing who you are and what you are able to do. Speak only to bless, heal and prosper.

Stop telling old defeatist stories about lack and defeat. Start telling stories about love, happiness and success. Make it so. You don’t wait for it. YOU do it. Discover who you are. Drop inside and get acquainted with the true you. You are divine. You are incredible.

Be Still – The Answers You Seek Come When You’re Quiet

Accept it and live it. Feel it. Experience it. Remember it. IT is who you already are. Appreciate it. Be grateful. Live it. Savor it. Expand it. Allow it and receive it. Encourage it. Celebrate it. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Let your light shine more today!

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Acceptance, Communicating, Curiosity, Trust

How To Know What Is Really Important!

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“To get people to do what you want you have to appeal to who they are. People have beliefs and values that are important to them. They have rules and procedures for how to eliminate woes, and  how to best go about living in the world, succeeding and being happy.

They function by principles, rules, evidence and procedures. We may explore each of these in coming blogs but today I want to broach the subject of values. We all have values.  Some we share with others and some unique to the individuals.

Where values are shared there can be rapport. What is important to you and to me may be our bridge that brings us closer together. Unless we are both competing to fulfill those. It really isn’t much different than you like latte’s and I like latte’s. It is similar.

You’ll Find A Way If It Is Important To You If Not You’ll Find Excuse

We share something in agreement. We both agree it is important to be honest, or loyal or tolerant. Yet how we define these and apply them could vary wildly. Many couples vacation together. It is important for them to get away and spend together time.

What is important about that vacation may wildly differ between them. They could be in for a wonderful or rough time depending on what is most important to each. Whether or not they help each other fulfill what is important to them will determine their success.

For example one partner can’t wait to get away and have loads of fun. This person wants to wine and dine and dance. They want to go out and party, see the sights, meet the people and experience a grand and wild time. They can’t wait until they can let loose!

Ask What Is Really Important Then Find A Way To Deliver On That

The other partner can’t wait to get away from the rat race and relax. They want to leave the madness of the city behind. No phones, no pressures, no deadlines, no people to bother with. They just want to sitt by the water and chill out. They want to savor their time away.

Can you imagine these two may have some difficulty? Perhaps, they’d be better taking separate vacations. Many people get there and then argue that it isn’t going well as they had expected. Why? Because their expectations were never really voiced. Imagined, yes.

Had they talked it out upfront it could be much better. All they need to do is ask, what is important to you about this vacation? What do you hope it to be? What do you want to do? Then they will find out they both have separate and different desires and expectations.

Agreement In Likes And Dislikes Is The Beginning Of Rapport

They can then decided whether or not to vacation together OR how to insure that both of their needs and wants are met during the time they are together. They negotiate quiet relaxing times and wild out there party times. Then both can feel fulfilled and get along.

They help each other out by helping each other get what is important and necessary for each. They work together to make sure both are well cared for and not abused or ignored. Get it? Because they know what is important to each they can work together.

To get along easily with another person appeal to what is important to them. Look them in the eye and say, ‘what is important to you?’ What is important to you about this? What does that, or having that do for you or allow you to do? So few people ever ask. We need to.

Friendship Comes From Trust Uplifting And Valuing Each Other 

‘What is important to you about being a parent?’  ‘What is important to you about racing cars?’ ‘What is important to you about going to that school?’ ‘What is important to you about your boyfriend?’ What is important to you? Then listen and accept their answer.

For practice, whatever their answer, repeat it back to them respectfully. Don’t look at them bewildered and exclaim,  ‘WHAAAAT?  FUN?!?!? is important???’ Be respectful. Accept whatever they say. It is what IS important to them. Treat it so!

‘So fun is important? Very cool. What does having fun do for you? Their answer may reveal another value. Let’s say they said confidence. ‘Cool, so when you have fun you feel confident, or you have a sense of confidence.’ It doesn’t have to make sense to you.

Trust Comes From Understanding And Taking Positive Actions

It makes sense to them. Respect and accept that. Listen and let them know you care. You hold them in high regard. You will do whatever you can to help them fulfill their positive values. When you accept, without judging or ridiculing, you create more harmony and rapport.

You help create understanding and trust. You connect more deeply and you are getting to know each other more deeply because you are learning about what they are trying to fulfill in their life. If not their whole life at least in this topic area. It is important to them.

We have some values which permeate all areas of our life. Some might call these Core Values and we have others that are more situational. Our beliefs and rules and procedures and processes similarly can be situational or core. We will explore more later.

It’s Not Just What’s Important To Them It’s How They Fulfill That

For now, remember to ask people what is important to them. Genuinely be interested. Listen and respect their answers. Utilize what they tell you to help them fulfill their wants and needs and you will may benefit them greatly. Use it to build trust and rapport.

Your understanding of what motivates them and what challenges them will grow immensely. It will help you understand your partner in life, your parents or children, friends, co-workers, employers and employees. You will learn a lot about the people in your world.

Enjoy them. Enjoy learning. Delight in all things. Appreciate these tools you have to build bridges. Understanding what makes another person ‘tick’  bring us closer together. It helps eliminate hinderances and misunderstanding.  It allows us create win /win outcomes so we can get along and each feel fulfilled. Celebrate. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Smile more today!

UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE!!! NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES VERY SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, RSS FEED and email newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch

Habit Formation, Personal Development, Rehearsal And Practice, Relationships

Transform Yourself Into Someone People Want To Do Nice Things For

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“So why all this discussion on SD, overcoming fears and swapping positive emotions and habit formation? Because it means you really can learn to do anything you want. You can learn to become a better communicator and get people to do what you want them to do.

You can transform yourself from someone who may not be very effective into someone of great influence and benevolent power. You can make yourself listen better, pay attention, be respectful, go the extra mile, take action, do unto others, and get back in return.

You can become a selfless enlightened giver or a greedy son of a bitch. It is always your choice. If you already are an enlightened giver you can still go beyond anything you presently know. If you are a greedy SOB you can change that right away to get better results.

It Costs You Absolutely Nothing To Be Nice – Go That Extra Mile

You can eliminate fears, doubts, bad habits and anything that holds you back. You can learn new powerful thoughts and beliefs, value important new values, feel incredible, chose your feelings and learn to take action. You can behave as you prefer to. It is in your power.

You can systematically expose yourself to new thoughts, beliefs and ideas. You can bit by bit daily condition yourself in small increments to take new positive, productive actions, think new thoughts, feel new feelings by repeated daily correct practice.  Keep this in mind.

How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice. You use the very same process, procedure, mechanism that created your original beliefs, feelings and actions to create the new ones you now chose. That is the difference. The first ones you learned by exposure.

If You Met Yourself Would You Want To Be Friends With You

You didn’t have a say. You were too young and didn’t know you had choices. Now you know. Now you can choose to be whoever you want to be. Now you can choose to make your present and future whatever you want to make it. You practice being the you you want.

You make the new you a habit. This is friggin’ awesome, don’t you think? Sure it takes some dedication. It can also be wildly fun and adventurous. As you see the changes and your gains you can feel thrilled! You can and will make progress. YOU transform yourself.

Repeatedly expose your mind and being to the very best thoughts, feelings, actions, habits, people, reading and listening material, events and circumstances and you and your life will change for the best. Manifest what you want by diving into what you want more of.

Develop Positive Supportive Habits Through Correct Practice

It works! It works! It works! Practice! Practice! Practice. Develop new habits that support you in being who you want to be, doing what you want to do and having what you want. Eliminate the chronic habitual thoughts, feelings and behavior that held you back.

If you want your life to change you must change some things in your life. Become a person who can easily appeal to others, engage their interest, rivet their attention. Transform yourself into the person others naturally want to do nice things for. Become extra likable!

Practice gratitude for everything. Where you are at, where  you have been, and where you are going. Appreciate all your experiences and lessons. Be thankful for all the people in your life easy to get along with and challenging; those close to you and those strangers. Be thankful. Delight and celebrate everything!”

Delight fully today!

UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE!!! NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES VERY SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, RSS FEED and email newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

Boundaries, Communicating, Overcoming Difficulty, Responsibility

You Must Maintain Your Boundaries Too

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“Boundaries are important. Their boundaries and your boundaries. You ought not cross theirs nor should they cross yours. So what to do? Treat them with respect and expect the same in return. Don’t demand and be nasty about it. Stay nice, but firm if you must.

Know when someone is wasting your time or mistreating you. Be prepared to say no when it is necessary. Don’t let people abuse your time or your generosity. This may be rare, especially, if you take care to learn how to better read people. If it isn’t check in on yourself.

If you are constantly having squabbles and issues then it is likely you need to make some changes. Remember, it is not easy to change others. It is far more productive and beneficial to change yourself and your responses to others. That is within your control.

A Lack Of Boundaries Invites A Lack Of Respect 

When people try to take advantage or abuse your time, generosity or more, be firm, be polite, be final about it. You can gently put your foot down without destroying the other person. Let the person know you have boundaries you won’t allow to be violated.

There are people who have no regard. Still, you should treat them fairly and with kindness. Speak only to bless, heal and prosper. Don’t let them get to you. Your attitude and behavior in the worst situation is a reflection of your character. Seek the higher pathway.

Your character builds reputation. Your reputation as a friend or business person will precede you. It is obvious you want to be known as the best friend, the most reliable, honest, trustworthy, easy to do business with business person. That will be of great help to you.

No – Is A Complete Sentence  – Give Respect And Get Respect

Napoleon Hill stated he had three walls. An outer wall that was low and had a few doors in it many people could access. Not everyone but many. The next wall was higher with one door in it. Far fewer were allowed entry. Only necessary people got admitted in.

The last wall was very high and only a handful could gain access at times. This was his metaphor for prioritizing his time, and energy and maintaining privacy. People could gain access depending how closely they were associated with to him or how important it was.

It is necessary to maintain your own boundaries. You shouldn’t have to fight to preserve them. Know when to say no and when not to. Pick your battles wisely. You don’t always have to be all things to all people. I simply want you to understand this. You are important.

Boundaries Are Normal Healthy And Necessary

Nurture and take care of and love yourself. Appreciate others and appreciate yourself. Respect yourself. Then others will too. If you aren’t egotistical, if you don’t flaunt it and are not a snob, but are confident, well-adjusted with a sense of humor and self respect others will respect and like you all the more. Be authentic. Be kind and be grateful. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Take care of yourself, today!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Attitude, Communicating, Overcoming Difficulty, Rapport

How To Get What You Want During Disagreements

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“We return to ‘How To Get People To Do What You Want’ and how to influence others, personally and professionally, positively. How to get more yeses. A favorite person of mine Cheri Tree, speaks the truth. Have ever heard the following statement?

‘In order to get more yeses you gotta get more nos.’ Have you heard that? Get enough nos and you will eventually get a yes. I know I have. For decades I embraced that thought as well. Cheri says bull. ‘In order to get more yeses you gotta get yeses!’ I love it. It is so true.

I have been sharing in these pages exactly how to get more yeses. The principles and practices  for enabling you to do exactly that and much more. You want to evolve yourself into the kind of person for whom others can most easily say yes to. That is your personal task!

What Is Most Important To You – Getting Along Or Agreement

Become a person people like and want to do things for. Go the extra mile. Respect others if you want respect back. Right, you are following along on these concepts, correct? If you are then you know you must respect others needs, wants, time, money and energy.

You must respect their boundaries. Don’t cross them. Move no faster than the other person moves is a way to think about it. Follow their lead for awhile. You will get an opportunity to lead too. It is called pacing and leading and you must learn to do both and when.

For now, keep in mind, you want to respect their boundaries and do not violate them. If they don’t want to talk about something then don’t! Get it? You want to make them feel at ease. Put them at ease and let them know they can trust you. Then they absolutely will.

In The Middle Of Difficulty There Is Opportunity – Be Open Find It

On the other hand  there are times when you may have to cut your losses. You may have to walk away, politely, with a promise to resume at another time. As long as the ball is in your court you can determine what to do. Just do it in a respectful and friendly way.

If you maintain respect and friendliness you almost never burn bridges. Truth be told, you never want to burn a bridge, so do whatever you can to maintain it. In the meantime, unless one of those rare times surfaces,  stay open and stay flexible.

Keep adjusting and continuing to work toward understanding, connection and agreement, even if you agreement is to disagree. Remember, the relationship is important. Keep your purpose in mind. Why are you communicating in the first place?

Are You Strong And Big EnoughTo Overcome Disagreement

What is it you want? What do you want in the big picture? How do you create win/wins so all parties get what each wants? What do you have to do and keep doing in order to maintain rapport, trust and the relationship when you disagree? You must respectfully negotiate.

I’ll continue this discussion on boundaries in next blog. Meanwhile, understand there are times when things don’t go your way. Don’t get flustered, get centered. Stay open and available. Remain calm and collected. Gather your inner and out resources. Remain true.

Remain true to you and to higher principles. Be authentic. In the larger scheme of things how does this all fit in? If you don’t get what you want today what else will you do? How important is it? Ask yourself questions that support you in moving ahead in positively.

It Is Normal To Disagree – Can You Maintain Your Relationship

What do you have in common? What do you like about this person? How can you better understand what is important to them? How can you more effectively listen? How can you create better rapport and understanding? What can you do to enjoy communicating better?

Direct your mind toward positive outcomes by asking questions to guide you. Really ask yourself and listen quietly for the answers. Don’t allow yourself to be rushed. Stop, drop and breath! Drop everything, let go, breath and allow the answers to come to you.

Discover what there is to appreciate about your relationship. Access those feelings of gratitude. Emphasize the positive qualities and diminish differences and disagreement. Accentuate the positive! Feel the gratitude. Feel the blessings! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Today, nurture yourself and others!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Attitude, Blessings, Celebration, Opportunity

Good Things Always Come Your Way If You Are Open To It

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I interrupt our series of blogs on ‘How To Get People To Do What You Want’ to share with you some wonderful bits about today. I enjoy the notions of synchronicity, coincidence, and happenstance. I enjoy the notions of attraction and manifestation. l like mystery.

I like magic. The mysterious and delightfully wonderful and bizarre mystic Gurdjieff wrote a fascinating book titled ‘Meetings With Remarkable Men’ which could be a book that I write. My life has been filled with remarkable people of high intelligence.

I have been surrounded by incredible spiritual mystics, deep thinkers, movers and shakers; people of vast wealth and influence, and great talent. I have been fortunate to have had, and today, still gain access to remarkable people of tremendous insight.

Create A Positive Atmosphere In Your Life And Good Will Happen

Many of the most influential people and profound mentors in my life have been powerful women. Many of these in the areas of health, and show business. Today, I was fortunate to be invited to lunch by a very, very wealthy influential gentleman who’ll remain nameless.

From Noon to 3:30 this afternoon I was delighted to spend time listening and learning and conversing with he and a few other friends he had invited. He bought us lunch and we hung out. At one point, I asked what he attributed his great success to.

He looked me in the eye and said, ‘I listen. I learned to listen well. I listen to everything and I remember it. I am a sneaky listener too. I listen to others when they talk. I listen so I can connect with people. I listen so that attention is off of me and on the other person.’

Be Patient The Best Things Happen Unexpectedly – Remain Open

He continued, ‘I listen. Then I know what is important to other people. I learn what they want and feel they need. Then, I know how to speak with them and help them begin to feel more fulfilled. It’s about the other person; not about me. I’m not that interesting.’

Later in my day, I I met a younger man who said he spent most of his life in special-education. Not as an instructor but as one labeled with special needs. He told me about himself. It was fascinating what he was doing with his life. He was making things happen. It was great.

He had a very positive attitude. He was a person of faith. He mentioned that he was learning to do something by watching YouTube videos over, and over, and over again. He’d watch powerful speakers speak and we would learn their positive messages.

Sometimes Good Things Need To End For Better Ones To Happen

He also mentioned he was learning to do dry wall. He stated it was basically very simple. The process  was measure twice cut and once. If you screw up do it again. It was simple and to the point. Mistakes were learning points but no big deal. Learn and improve.

One of the things that struck me most in what he shared was he said, ‘I can teach myself anything I want.’  And he does. Here’s a guy who spent his entire life labeled as a special needs kid stating he can teach himself to be anything he wants.  AND he is!

He recently moved to this area and was getting to know people and enjoying it, although it was much colder. Eventually, he hopes to move to the southeast. He was a fascinating person and his attitude is indeed marvelous. I enjoyed my time with people today.

Focus On What Matters Stay Positive – Good Things Will Happen

Each morning I wake up and my first thoughts are, ‘I love my life. Today, something magical will happen for me. I accept and allow all the unexpected good and gifts that come my way. What can I do to be of service? How might I help?’ I love waking up celebrating.

Then I find out how these manifest themselves. Every day I am delightfully surprised in big and small ways. Sometimes big wonderful things come my way and sometimes I am tickled. Each day I’m open proves to be fascinating and I meet remarkable people.

I learned a lot from two people at different ends of the financial spectrum today. What a fabulous blessing! I love my life. Let’s all look for what we can enjoy, delight in and learn from. We are surrounded by opportunity each and every moment. Let’s celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Today, live, love, learn and laugh!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Attitude, Go First, Relationships, Responsibility

Would A Movie Company Be Willing To Take You Camping?

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“Would a movie production company be willing to take you camping? Heck, would any company take you camping? It is important that you be able to answer, ‘YES’! Do you know why? This is necessary to understand. People say ‘yes’ to people they like.

People want to hang around with people they like. Get it? No one wants to go camping, or be on a set, or work together with a person who is a downer. They’ll avoid the person who isn’t a team player. They don’t want to be around a selfish, self-absorbed complainer.

You need to be likable! Get known as a team player. Support other’s and allow others to support you. If you GO FIRST it is more likely they will want to support you in return. ALWAYS be willing to go first. Don’t wait for others. Set the gold standard. Take the initiative.

T.E.A.M. Together Everyone Achieves More – Be A Team Player

You get known by your actions. OR you get known by your lack of actions. You want to develop the best reputation you can. You will accomplish this when  you add value and go beyond what anyone else is willing to do. You will be highly regarded and sought after.

Your reputation precedes you! You are known by your fruits, or your behaviors. Actions speak louder than words. Remember this! Attitude is everything. It determines your altitude. How far you go, how successful you become, is determined by those around you.

No one ever makes it on their own. The term self-made is a fallacy. People make it together. One may rise or be pushed to the top but without the support of others, there is no where to go. You’re all in the same boat. You need to row in the same direction. Get this?

Good Players Inspire Themselves Great Players Inspire Others

Celebrate other workers successes. Provide genuine praise and enthusiasm. You succeed by helping others succeed. In the movie business, one of the industries I work in and enjoy, being someone who adds value, who is friendly and not a grumbler, is critical.

People tend to complain about their bosses, the job or project, other workers, the weather, you name it. If you don’t you get noticed for being positive and optimistic. When a movie company crews up and casts up one consideration, of course is, is the person qualified?

Whether one can do the job, or not, IS critical? What have they done before? Who has hired them? WHO is this job candidate? Their reputation is important. Who referred them are typical and critical questions. Still, there is a mindset that governs much of the hiring.

You Inspire Others By Showing Them How Incredible They Are

If we were going camping would we want to bring this person along? Would they be fun to have? Will they get along with everyone? Working together can be like a camping trip. It often is; on location, with movie companies. Do we want this person at the campfire?

If you’re the kind of person who is likable and who likes and helps everyone else, who goes the extra mile and adds value, while not being a pest or interfering then you are desirable. When you uplift others instead of bringing them down people tend to say yes to you.

People will be willing to go further for you and do what you want when you demonstrate you are willing to go first for them. When you support, uplift, are positive, friendly, honest, dependable, loyal they will want you on their team. Don’t gossip or grumble; you win.

You Can Succeed Best And Quickest Helping Others Succeed

On the other hand if you are known as a complainer, someone who gossips; a person who rains on the parade, who can’t or doesn’t do the job any boss, any company has little use for you. You might fool them at first but you won’t fool them for long. Do you get this?

Appreciate yourself. Appreciate others. Appreciate where you are, what you do, and life in general and you get further faster. Acknowledge others and support them. Celebrate their achievements and successes and you will win too. You will move up when you are a valuable person to have around. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Today, pay it forward!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Communicating, Mindset, Relationships, Responsibility

Guidelines For Getting Along With Others While Talking

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“Here are a few tips and principles that will help improve you ability to connect and communicate with another person. Stay open and positive. Don’t label the other person as a poor or bad communicator.  Don’t judge them that only makes things worse.

Assume you are missing the point rather than judging them. Take responsibility for listening better. Blaming them won’t help. If you change what you are doing it might. Stay open.  Assist them in being clearer. With your help you may create better understanding.

Everything depends on your intent as a communicator. Are you seeking to understand or ridicule. If you make judgements and insist they change to suit you it actually inhibits the process. You shut down and it is more difficult for them. Don’t let emotions get in way.

Not Everyone Thinks The Way You Think Or Knows What You Do

Make it easier for the listener.  Help the communicator be clearer if able. Ask simple questions politely to help them clarify their points. Gently and patiently bring it out of them. Elicit it gradually. Take responsibility for making the process go nicely for both of you.

A frame you can adopt to help you is to assume they don’t know any better. They can’t help but do it the way they are doing it. It isn’t their fault and they aren’t bad. It is just the way it is. Imagine helping a small child to do something well. Encourage them along.

The goal in communicating is to build a bridge between parties. It is to learn to speak the other person’s language rather than insisting they speak yours. While it might be nicer if they did it your way be the bigger person and adapt to them. Be flexible. Be a chameleon.

Not Everyone Believes What You Believe Or Acts As You Act …

Change what you are doing so you can get along with more people. If you only have one way of doing something you are limited in the number of people you can influence. If you adapt and help make the process enjoyable you win more friends. Make them feel at ease.

Help them feel comfortable speaking with you and they will want to do it again. Make gentle and direct eye contact. Listen intently and once in a while repeat back to them what they said so they know you are listening. Do the same if you want them to be clearer.

Repeat and ask them what is meant. Always be polite and respectful. Nod and ‘uhhuh’ or say ‘yes’ also once in awhile. Don’t stare. Talk less and listen more but don’t be completely silent looking like you are in trace. Engage, be appealing. Smile, encourage them to talk more.

Remember This And You Will Get Along With A Lot More People

Ask questions but don’t interrogate. Don’t ask so many they feel they are being put to a test. Give them some room to be themselves. Often it is best to sit next to them than opposite them. Or sit t the corner of a table rather than across from each other.

I’ll share more as we continue. For now implement what you learn. Action is the proper fruit of knowledge. Expect to have a nice time. Mentally shower them with love or gratitude or peace. Your outer behavior does reflect your inner behavior, whether it is positive or negative, so keep it positive. Enjoy communicating and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate with friends today!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Acceptance, Communicating, Relationships, Responsibility

How To Get People To Do What You Want!

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“Are there people in your life getting along with seems impossible? Would you like to help them understand you better? Do you argue more than you want to? Would you like to be more influential? Want to more easily and readily get others to do what you want?  Do you?

The goal of communication is understanding. Most of us think it is only to inform.  We inform each other of our intentions or what is going on. We think, since we  ‘communicated’ or spoke our thought or piece the other should understand and respond appropriately.

Good communication is more than telling the other person what ‘is’. Good communicating involves delivering the message in the manner the intended recipient can understand it. You make certain it is  well understood, clarify it as necessary and listen openly all the while.

Communication’s Biggest Problem – The Illusion It’s Taken Place

If it is not understood the sender must adjust the message until the receiver ‘gets it’. This means being flexible and having more than only one way to speak or communicate ideas. This means communicating the way the receiver is used to getting messages.

It doesn’t mean getting angry, raising our voice, yelling at or name calling the listener ‘stupid’ because the person doesn’t understand. It means attempting to help the receiver understand by being respectful and helpful. This is where the Platinum Rule comes in.

The Golden Rule is marvelous! It should always be applied. ‘Do unto others the way you prefer to have things done unto you.’ That is a guideline for not mistreating others. Think about your preferences and don’t do less for other people. It is a wonderful rule to follow.

The Most Important Thing In Is To Hear What The Other Is Saying

Go The Extra Mile is another fantastic principle that states don’t just do the job but go above and beyond what is called for. Deliver more value than any one else. Blow their socks off by doing more than they expect. This is another wonderful rule to practice daily in all.

The Platinum Rule states ‘Do unto others the way they prefer to be done unto’. In other words do it their way. Do it the way they like. Do it the way they are used to. This is important especially when communicating. Help them understand by speaking their language.

If someone speaks another language than you speak, if you really want understanding, then attempt to speak in their language. They don’t understand yours. Don’t make them try. You speak theirs. You are delivering the message help them understand. Get it. Go first!

Good Communication Means Respecting Yourself And Others

It doesn’t help to raise your voice. It doesn’t help to get frustrated or mad or blame them because they don’t understand the language you are speaking. It doesn’t help to ridicule or give up. It helps if you adjust and attempt to phrase it meaningfully for them.

Speak their language! Adjust and continue. Continue to adjust until you get the desired results. Adjust and continue until they understand. Don’t berate them. Be patient. Allow them their misunderstanding. After all they are trying to understand YOU!

In a few series of upcoming posts we will explore how to better and more easily communicate. If you want friends, co-workers, lovers and even strangers to better and more easily understand you, and get along with you, then it is worth learning to communicate better.

Listen More – Speak Less – Seek To Find Out Their Point Of View

The more you are able to express yourself the more you are apt to get agreement. The more agreement you get the easier and the more people you are able to positively influence. The better the understanding the greater the harmony and the relationships.

Enjoy and delight the opportunity we have to share ideas. Be grateful you have a means to do that. Appreciate that you have people in your life willing to listen and even ‘put up’ with you. Recognize how blessed you are to share with others. Learn, laugh, love and live! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate friends today!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Creating The Future, Habit Formation, Persistence, Responsibility

How To More Easily Keep Your Resolutions!

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“Do you make resolutions? Are there things you want to accomplish in the coming year? Have you had some difficulty in past years keeping your resolutions? Read on I’ll share with you how can you most easily keep doing those things you resolve to do.

The simple definition for the word resolute is admirably purposeful, determined and unwavering. It is the time to be resolute. For some reason we like landmark dates. The 7th year isn’t as meaningful as the 10th year. The New Year means more than March 3rd.

Silly us. You and I can make resolutions anytime! Anytime is a good time to resolve to do something that is positive and beneficial for ourselves and others. We need not wait till the end or beginning of the week or year. Yes, it’s easier to keep track but we can begin now.

Immature Mind Hops Around – Mature Mind Follows Through

We make promises to ourself that we hope to keep. Therein is the rub. We don’t make a resolution by hoping.  We make a resolution by committing. We are to be are purposeful, determined and unwavering? Is that you? If no then maybe you need some help.

First off what is your big resolution? I will go to the gym this year, everyday for an hour and lose 50 pounds. Fantastic! Will you keep it? If there is any doubt, if you waver in thinking about it what is the likelihood you will keep it? It would be better to chunk it down.

It would be better to say I will exercise 5 minutes every day. Yes, it could be more but make it reasonable and something you can do with or without the gym. I will walk more and sit less. Each time I get up to pee I will rebound for a minute.  Add exercise into your day.

No Matter How You Feel Get Up Dress Up Show Up Never Give Up

Build gradually and add more. Each time you do put a star on a piece of paper where you can see it. Yup, a star like the kind you may have received when a child. Pick your color. Or cross off each day on a calendar. At the end of 7 days gift yourself in a small way.

Give yourself a reward. Maybe go to the movie. Get a massage or pamper yourself in some healthy way. Enjoy some time with friends. Every day notice the sequence of consistent stars or Xs and resolve not to break the sequence. Keep it going!  This can work wonders.

Resolve to eat one healthy food and one less junk food. Resolve to get up 5 or 10 minutes earlier without the snooze button. Resolve to meet one new person a week. Resolve to smile more. Resolve to add more laughter and delight. Aim at what you want and make it simple.

Commitment Means Staying Loyal To What You Said You Will Do

Work toward the large goal in steps tiny enough to do every day but not so small they are boring or insignificant. Notice your progress by keeping track visually. Don’t break the sequence! Reward yourself every so often. Find an accountability partner to keep you on track.

Realize that champion athletes frequently don’t feel like training or conditioning but they do it anyway. They delay instant gratification for the larger reward. The prize is important enough to them to do this. Plus, they often find a coach or teammate to work with.

Having support or an accountability partner to inspire you, to compete with, to mutually assist in your goals and resolutions will help a lot. Sometimes keeping a commitment to a friend is more important to us than keeping promises to ourselves.  That is good.

It Is The Follow Through That Makes The Difference – Keep Going

However, keep promises to yourself too! If you say you will do something positive and good follow through on it. Make your word the law. Develop mental toughness. Bootstrap it. Get serious enough with yourself that you do it regardless. Chant positive affirmations.

Create a powerful mantra you declare to see you through. When the mind is right all the rest follows. If you are lazy and procrastinate you need to get your mind in order first. Your feelings will follow your thoughts and your actions stem from your feelings. Get it?

Keep in mind when you get in a boat to go sailing. Even if you have no final destination. You just are going to lazy about sail. You really do. You actually don’t just drift about unless you purposefully  take your hands of the rudder and sail and lie back to drift. Understand?

No Limits On Anything  The More You Dream The Farther You Get

You decide each moment which way to go. You also know at some point you’ll head back to the dock. You are always deciding and doing even when you don’t realize you are. You make decisions each second of the day. Learn to make your decisions serve you.

Deadlines are important too.  Again, chunk it down but keep it interesting. Instead of saying I’ll clean the whole house by Friday. . Say I will clean the kitchen counter this morning for 20 minutes or 10 minutes. In the afternoon do another set or pick something else.

Decide to sneak up on it and do it. In order to change you must leave your comfort zone sometime. Procrastination and laziness is staying within your zone of comfort. If you want to make your life different you will have to make some changes or it will remain the same.

Keep Your Head Up Your Heart Strong Wear Your Invisible Crown

Commit. Remember to be resolute means admirably purposeful, determined and unwavering. A resolution is defined as a firm decision to do or not do something. Whatever you are resolute to do don’t stop. Keep going! Don’t break the sequence. Keep on going!

Step by step you get there. Have fun. Enjoy it! Be committed to it. Make your word the law. Keep your promises to you and others. Delight and reward yourself for your progress. Celebrate doing it and your progress. Be thankful to do it. All helps you move forward.

Have a blessed new time keeping your promises! May you make all your dreams come true. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate each moment today!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!