Tag Archives: Success

Acceptance, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Learning

What To Do When You Really Disappoint Yourself!

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“Have you ever let yourself down? Have you ever disappointed yourself? Have you ever done the exact opposite of what you intended to do? Did you ever say, ‘I won’t do that’, only to then do it. I sure have. Countless times. Sometimes, too often.

So what to do when you behave less than gloriously or even badly. You can accept it. Accept that you aren’t perfect. Accept that there are times when you don’t do as you intend. Accept, forgive and love yourself anyway. You aren’t perfect stop pretending to be. Let it go!

Far too often we are harsh on ourselves because we think we should be further along than we actually are. You can see this a lot watching people learn a new sport or activity. They get frustrated because they think it should be easier than it is. They loose patience. I have.

Accept What Is – Let Go Of What Was – Accept All – Allow All

Have you ever done this? I do it all the time. Own it. Live up to it. We take golf swings, throw basketballs, play music on an instrument and get mad when we don’t perform correctly. Knock it off. Stop thinking  you are better than you are. Accept mistakes. Laugh it off instead.

We want to be perfect. We expect perfection even if we think we are a loser. There is no end to how we can criticize and blame ourselves. We will rag on ourselves coming and going if we could. Right? It is time to learn a new way of being don’t you think? You can, you know.

So accept. Let go. Forgive, truly and love yourself even though you aren’t perfect. Love yourself. Then learn. Extract the lesson from the situation. What could you have done differently that would have been more resourceful, productive, beneficial, co-operative? Ask.

Accept The Rainy Days Accept The Storms They Are Part Of Life

Ask of yourself and listen silently for the answer. Examine and reflect. Don’t judge. Stop criticizing. Listen to what you might have thought, felt, said, or acted differently that may have made a difference. Learn from this. Decide to not do the old behavior again.

Intend to be the new way. You may and it might take many practice attempts or slip ups until you finally ‘get it’ and do it or live it. Do you understand this? Repetition is the mother of skill. You made the old way a habit, now you need to be patient while you make a new one.

New habits can take time. So be prepared to love yourself through it. Accept yourself. Keep moving forward as best you are able. You can critique your behavior but don’t criticize yourself for screwing up. You do what you do in the situation and perhaps next time do better.

You Don’t Need To Be Accepted By Others – Accept Yourself

Take the pressure off yourself. This doesn’t give you license to do the old behavior, especially if it involves others, but it gives you permission to be human. Humans make mistakes. Humans don’t always do everything perfectly. It is okay! You did what you did.

If it involves others and you need to apologize do so. Own up. Take responsibility. Learn to communicate more effectively. Build bridges instead of burning them down. I have burned some bridges and in most cases it only hurt me more. Respect others and respect you.

Some times you examine the situation and discover there was nothing you could have done that would have made any difference. You can’t change the physicality of it. Then accept it. If you can change your response to it change your response!

Mistakes Are Part Of Life If You Don’t Make Them You Don’t Learn

When you can’t change an event change your response. Instead of trying to change other people change yourself. You are in the driver’s seat of your mind and your life not in charge of world events or other people’s minds and lives. Let go of trying to control things.

Accept that the ‘crappy event’ was a blessing to learn and evolve from. It may take time to see how but allow for it. I have done things long ago and not so long ago that I may be ashamed of. I have hurt people with my words or provoked others unnecessarily.

I have given the finger to unsuspecting drivers on the road. We all have things we aren’t proud of or that we sometimes do that surprise us. Even when everything is going exceptionally well. Don’t let one act ruin the record of good days. It is like quitting smoking.

Welcome Challenges Every Situation Is An Opportunity To Learn

If you slip up and have a cigarette don’t stop quitting because you had one. Stay quitting. Okay, you slipped up. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go on. Keep to the program. Get it. Some people abandon everything because of one mistake or slip up. Don’t.

Do stay the course. Keep growing and evolving and living and laughing. Get back on track when derailed. Forgive yourself, forgive others, allow it to be. Accept it as opportunity. You don’t have to know all the answers or the ‘whys’ and reasons.

You may want to but most of everything is a big mystery. Why, heck I don’t know, simply because. Why is what we learned to ask as a child and we keep doing it. The answers aren’t much better as we get older. It just IS! Accept what is. Learn to go with the flow. Allow.

Keep Going Don’t Quit Just Because You Made A Mistake – Persist

Give and receive. Receive grace. receive joy. Receive love. Receive forgiveness. Receive peace. Receive awareness. Give these and more in return. Learn to be grateful. It hurts when things go wrong, or the apple cart is upset, but get over it. Take your time if you need.

Learn that if you love and accept and respect yourself. If you allow and accept what is. You can do the same for others. Whether they return it or not you can still do it. In many cases they won’t return it.

What if you changed for the better yet the rest of the world remain the same? How would you enjoy it? It would be completely up to you then wouldn’t it? It would, right. Everyone else is the same but you chance. Guess what, that is how it already is. You transform.

Forgiveness Is Something You Do For Yourself To Forgive Is Divine

Don’t concern yourself with other people’s personal evolution. Live and let live. When you disappoint yourself imagine you counsel a young person you love. What loving, kind words would you say? What might the child like to hear? What might the child need?

Okay, live and lough and laugh. Feel gratitude even when things go awry. I am always reminded of Jesus, whether you believe it or not, the story is he asked forgiveness for his tormentors while he was in torment. He didn’t wait until all was good, he did it while suffering.

Whether true or a story I think it is a great example. Forgive others and forgive yourself even while in the midst of turmoil. Even when nothing changes in the circumstances. Forgiveness isn’t FOR the other person, it is for YOU. It is for your transformation.

Love Yourself For Who You Are – Friend Yourself – You Deserve To

Transform. You aren’t perfect. You may never be. Accept the good and the not so good as you do the day and the night. Judgement is what makes something acceptable and unacceptable. Yes, there are ways we treat others that may be either. Know which is which.

Live with imperfection. Enjoy being human. Don’t expect to be superhuman or perfect. Don’t live in delusion. Life CAN be great and YOU CAN make your dreams come true THAT isn’t fantasy. Utopia or utopian like perfection is deluded. You can live enlightened.

Be enlightened while the world is as it is. So give yourself room to make mistakes and to correct them. Accept yourself for not being perfect. be grateful for the opportunity to learn, change, correct and continue on. Be thankful for all and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Make the most of each moment!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Conditioning, Getting Over The Past, Learning, Overcoming Difficulty

A Method For Getting Over Any Fear You Have

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“My recent blog, ‘ A Method For Getting Over Your Fear Of Heights’ includes a powerful approach for making changes. For decades I have successfully helped people use this to get over fear of heights, flying, getting out of their house after years shut in, meeting people and many other irrational fears. People can change.  So can you!

Fear is good. Pain is good. It is only a signal that we should pay attention to. When fear becomes immobilizing for an everyday activity that most people engage in, then it is worthwhile addressing and overcoming it. Most fears can be readily dismissed quite easily.

While I use a myriad of approaches and methods I shared one incredibly effective approach so that you, or anyone, could begin using it to overcome limitations of any kind. What works for fear of heights works in other situations as well. Use it. Yes, use it!

Whether You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You Are Right

The key to being more effective in your life is gaining control over your own thinking process and emotions. Sometimes that means reigning in thoughts and feelings that are wildly flooding us. It is a tad more difficult after the flooding occurs than prior to it.

This means you can learn it as a preventive measure. You can learn it in advance of when you need it. You can practice and make habits those thoughts, feelings and actions when you aren’t pressured by taking the time to train them to work in your behalf.  Practice!

Preparation is a huge part of any endeavor. If you want to be able to do things more easily and live the kind of life free from worry and fear then take the time to learn how to do it right now. Practice. Act as if you already have made the change and are living as you want.

What We Want To Do With Ease We Must First Do With Diligence

ACT AS IF. Notice how good that feels. Notice the thoughts you have. Feel this fully and think the thoughts repeatedly. Condition your mind and body to work for you instead of against you. It is only doing what it has learned to do in the past, for whatever reasons.

Now train it to do what you want it to do instead. It will learn the new way too. Be patient and take the time to learn and condition yourself. Body shaping, food management, learning to sew or play basketball all take time. Be patient and expect the best. Visualize.

Support and encourage yourself. If you wish, get some training, get a coach or mentor, however, you can do this with a friend or on your own. Take your time and learn thoroughly. Enjoy the process of making changes. Control your mind and feelings. Affirm! Declare!

Correct Repetition Is The Mother Of Skill – Learn To Use It 

The benefits are beyond belief. You can’t yet imagine how wonderfully your life will change for the good, and it will when you take the appropriate action. Then, in time, step by step you will begin to notice how much more delightful everything is all around .

Change can be fun and easy. Inertia, getting up off the coach or out of our comfort zone, is what prevents most people. That, and that they don’t think change is possible for them. I am here to tell you it is absolutely possible. Don’t believe me. Prove it to yourself! You can!

You absolutely can! Start feeling gratitude for everything. Even your outrageous fear that has attempted to keep you safe. Be thankful for everything. Express your gratitude for your ability to change and for the changes you have made and will make. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

How delightful will you make your day today?

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Getting Over The Past, Habit Formation, Learning, Overcoming Difficulty

A Method For Getting Over Your Fear Of Heights

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“Some people fear heights. Some don’t. What do you suppose makes the difference between those who fear something and those who don’t? Don’t you think it must be how they use their minds? Some use it for fear some do not. They must use their minds differently.

‘I am afraid of heights’. Yup, keep repeating that to yourself and see how quickly you are able to get over it. You won’t change as long as you keep telling the same story over and over! As long as you keep reaffirming what you fear you get to keep it for as long as you do.

But you say, that is my reality. Yes, and it doesn’t have to be!

YOU keep it your reality by retelling it AS reality. IF you want your life to change YOU have to change SOME THINGS in your life. You must affirm what you WANT not what you don’t want. ‘I am calm and comfortable. I stay peaceful and centered. I enjoy this.’

If You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t – You Are Right

‘I enjoy different views’. ‘I can look and feel safe. I am confident.’ If you keep saying you are scared or terrified you remain scared and terrified. People perpetuate their fears and what they are frightened of over and over again. STOP IT! Doesn’t this make sense to you?

If it does, you can change. You CAN change almost any reaction or response you have. You need to stop telling yourself and others the same old thing. You need to put this old story to rest. Quit it! Stop telling the story of what you don’t want and of how you are broken.

Start telling yourself and others the way you want it to be. Imagine yourself free and able. Stop making pictures of falling and make pictures of standing comfortably and enjoying it. See yourself confident and calm. See yourself as you’d like to be. Imagine THIS!

Skill To Do Comes Of Doing – Drop By Drop The Tub Fills

Imagine looking through the eyes of someone (you) who is able to enjoy heights. Imagine looking out and feeling calm and feeling wonderful. Get the feeling of being safe and secure because you truly are. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Relax. Calm.

Feel confident and calm. Feel centered. Feel grounded. Feel safe. Feel AS IF you can do this. Feel secure. Feel comfortable. Get a sense of the feelings you want to have more of. Wrap those feelings around you. Feel them fully. Imagine feeling great doing new things.

Seek what you want and you can have it. Stop affirming what you don’t want. Quit living the way you wish you wouldn’t and start living the way you wish you would. Focus on what you want. Stop focusing on what you do not want. Drop it. Let it go. Get over it!

You Go Where Your Thoughts Take You 

Be wise about everything. Take it bit by bit. Gradually expose yourself to greater heights. Inch by inch, step by step. You don’t have to go any faster than you maintain feeling comfortable. Learn to anchor those positive resourceful feelings for yourself.

Get comfortable prior to moving up. Have a trusted buddy with you. Ease into it. You can do this. You absolutely can. Be safe and don’t take unnecessary risks. Stay behind the safety rails and in the appropriate areas. You can do this. Think ‘I can’ instead of I can’t.

Repeated exposure to a fear tends to diminish it over time. Keep at it. Repetition is the mother of skill. Correct repetition, for a long enough time makes the skill a habit. Develop the habit of being comfortable at any height. You can. Take your time and ease into it.

The More We Do – The More We Can Do

Feel grateful that your fear was there to keep you safe. Realize that ‘great fear’ is an over reaction to some things many people can comfortably do. When it is an unreasonable reaction to being at safe heights then perhaps you want to change it. Thank yourself.

Be grateful you look out for yourself even if you over react. Thank yourself. Appreciate yourself. Think, ‘Thanks and I want to do new things, explore new heights and continue to be safe. I will be prudent and wise. Let’s do this.’ Enjoy exploring and adventuring in new ways.

Find ways to delight yourself. Use motivating thoughts, messages, and music to stay resourceful. See yourself changing in your mind’s eye and being able to comfortably do that which you want to do. Feel how good it feels to be free and able to do it.

If You Really Want To Do It You’ll Find A Way – If Not – An Excuse

Notice these sensations. Pay attention to the sensations that feel good. Notice where in your body you feel them the strongest. Really feel these. Remember them. Anchor them. Lock them in for yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to. Enjoy learning to do new things and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

It is a new day. A new moment.  Celebrate it!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Awareness, Energy, Focus, Learning

Why You Must Learn To Be Centered And Stay Open

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“Do you ever feel stuck? Have you been confused and are not sure which way to turn? You seek answers but only seem more confused by the answers you get and aren’t sure what to do? Doesn’t this suck? Would you prefer to be free? Would you like to change?

There are times when we are hyper-resistant to what is going on. We resist what is. We could remain open. We could remain open and discover what Is actually there. Instead we project what we think is there. We judge. Our judgements stem from our conditioned mind.

We ask others for answers and then run those through our pre-existing filters and biases. We don’t like what the answers seem to be or we’re stuck and unable to decide. We fear making the wrong decision. Often, we vacillate and just spin wheels for a long time.

Nothing Is As Painful As Being Stuck Where You Don’t Belong

We aren’t available to what IS because we are too busy running around in our minds. We actually need to stop. We need to pause so we can decelerate. We need to take a breath and open up so we can actually notice what IS and free up from unproductive thinking.

Opening up and staying open may seem to be a difficult but it is eminently do-able but we have to practice it. We have to practice returning to center. We have to practice shifting. We have to practice opening up and experience what it is like.

Most of us didn’t grow up learning this. All of us were conditioned from birth on by the thoughts, actions, feelings, the preferences and prejudices of those around us. Most of our conditioning occurred before age 3 and was locked in by age 7. This is what we live from.

Fear Worry Regret – Will Consume You For As Long As You Let It

We can change it but only if we determine to change it. We can change it but only if we become aware that it needs to be changed. For many, crises and major downfalls are the precipitating ‘events’ or circumstances that lead to transformation. We CAN change!

Once we learn to open up and actually become present we can make better choices. Our resources are freed up. We aren’t engaged in ‘monkey minded thinking’ flitting from this possibility to that. We need to stop thinking at least momentarily and gather our energy.

If we stay open we can potentially discover more of what is going on, without judgement, and be there honestly in the moment. If we assume anything at all we miss the moment. We miss if we are in our heads evaluating what is going on. We miss so much anyway.

Be Present To Whatever Is Unfolding Right Now – Here And Now

This is why learning to develop focus and concentration is important. This is why learning to control and manage our thoughts and feelings is important so we can shift when necessary. So we can place our energy and attention where it is most useful. we can BE!

Instead of repeating chronic, habitual thoughts and behaviors we can learn new ones that serve us better. In the present we are more free to choose than from our conditioned past. This is why it is useful to focus on a candle, or on our breath. To learn how we become free.

The process to learn is to be able to return our attention when it strays. I have described this numerous times in these blog pages. We learn to come back to our center. We learn how to return to now, the present, instead of going off into past or future thoughts. NOW!

Realize This – The Present Moment Is All You Have – Drop In

Become aware of now. Stop the distractions. Then we can find our true essence, our true feelings, our true being. From this authentic place we can act free from the constraints of our habitual thinking. We can think freely and productively. We can decide.

This ability is developed  through time and devoted attention. It is developed by dedication and practice. It is a process. You can do it and discover how beneficial it is. It is harder to describe than to experience. Once you find your center you know where to return to.

Meditate. Let go. Observe without labeling. At first, you will discover glimpses. Seconds of awareness. As you progress you will discover longer moments. Spend time in the gap between thoughts and words. Notice this space and enjoy it. Ancient people knew this!

Live In The Present – Find Eternity In Each Moment – Be Here Now

Become aware. It is freeing. Read through my recent and past blogs for what and how to practice. Then engage. Doing makes it real. Thought translates into results. Don’t just be informed. Use the information for transformation.  AND ALWAYS live with gratitude and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Now Is the time. Here is the place. Celebrate it!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Acceptance, Attitude, Patience, Self Talk

How To Get Better Or Good At Anything

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“Would you like to get better at what you’re doing? Any skill, whether it’s piano playing, cooking, a sport, talking with others, attracting a mate, negotiating a career, managing your own mind and controlling your thoughts. You can.  It isn’t that difficult really.

How would you like to get better at  taking charge of your feelings and making your dreams come true? Would you like that? When you know how to do it there may be many things you would like to improve. Imagine all your dreams coming true. Nice, huh. Okay.

Here is how you improve any skill.  Imagine a juggler. Imagine this person is learning to juggle and keep a number of objects in the air. Imagine that this juggler every time an object drops and isn’t caught or juggled but hits the floor, THIS juggler slaps his or her face HARD!

Repetition Is The Mother Of Skill – Skills You Develop

Whenever this juggle makes a mistake, large or small, this juggler insults or criticize himself and makes himself feel horribly bad. The juggler thinks to himself, out loud or silently, ‘I suck! I’ll never make it. I can’t do this. I’m a loser. I’m horrible! This sucks. Crap’

She thinks, ‘I screwed up again. I’ll never learn. What a klutz. This is hard. Shit! F’n balls are too slippery.  It’s too cold in here. I can’t juggle when it’s cold. Too many distractions I cant concentrate. I give up.” Do you think this person would be a good juggler anytime soon?

Most likely not. Yet that is what many people do when it comes to taking charge of their own lives, controlling their finances, meeting the person of their dreams, losing weight, feeling confident, doing anything or making any change. They criticize themselves.

Mastering Yourself Is True Power – Know Thyself

They’re hard on themselves. They abuse themselves. They punish themselves. They shame themselves. Then wonder why they don’t make any changes. You can’t punish you yourself and expect to gain skills and talents and abilities and positive attitudes and well-being.

You are going to feel bad, negative and awful. Feeling awful isn’t going to make you better anytime soon. What do YOU do when YOU make a mistake? What could you do instead that would help you learn and improve and move you forward with the skills?

Accept the mistake!  Allow it. Forgive yourself and move on gently. You redo it, again. If you screw up again you, again, gently move on. Don’t punish yourself. Instead  encourage yourself. Think, ‘better luck next time’. Enjoy practice. Keep the faith. Expect the best!

If You Develop Just One Skill Make It The Ability To Focus

Think, ‘that’s alright. Good for you! That’s the spirit. Keep the at it! Good job! You’re moving forward.’ You encourage. You don’t have to go overboard with the praise but you pat yourself on the back for whatever you did. Accept whatever you did without criticism.

Don’t expect to be perfect right out of the gate. You won’t be. Understand there is a learning curve and accept that you’re not perfect. Accept that you’re not God. Accept that you don’t know how to do it, yet, but that you will improve in time.

With time and patience; with correct repetition and encouragement you’ll get better and better. You could be a world-class champion if you give yourself permission to go that far and become one. AND if you  aren’t too hard on yourself and allow yourself to get good.

Simple Consistent Good Habits Lead To A Life Of Blissful Blessings

Even those who are the best at things have bad days. You can bet they didn’t get to be the best by wallowing in pity and shame, hate, anger and frustration. They worked hard, it’s true. They had to develop their mindset and their feelings.

They had to make sure their feelings were in check. They had to take the appropriate actions. They did all that and you can too! It is far better to pat yourself on the back for something attempted and not perfect then shame and blame yourself for trying.

Books are made better in the second edition. That’s why there ARE second editions.  You have second chance. You have opportunities to repeat. You get to do over your practice to get better. Repetition is what builds habits.

You Can Develop Any Habit You Deem Desirable Or Necessary

Correct repetition over the appropriate amount of time is what builds positive skill. Attitude also helps build skill. You can’t be negative and expect positive results. You must get your mind working for you instead of against you. Manage your mind!

The right mindset says ‘I can do this. I am learning. I’m a beginner. I can get better through practice. I enjoy this. I love this! This is fun! I’m so glad I do this.’ The right mindset nurtures oneself and one’s abilities. You correct and continue. You move forward positively.

Allow yourself permission to fail because all success is built on failure. Don’t fear failing. Don’t try not to make mistakes. Accept them! That IS how you learn and grow. You adjust. You make corrections. You repeat. In doing so you build positive habits.

Excellence Is Not An Exception It Is A Prevailing Attitude

All masters were once disasters.  All top pros were once rank amateurs. Everyone starts from the same place. Zero, zip! We begin, we practice, We improve. Mastery is a process not a one time event. Don’t let a bad attitude prevent you from being your best. Excel!

You can develop any skill, any talent, any ability. You can manage your thoughts and your emotions. You can take control of your mind. You can make your dreams come true if you will only allow yourself to do so. Give yourself permission to fail. It is okay, it truly is!

Take the sting out of failure by stopping trying to not fail. If you are focused on, ‘not failing’ guess what you are more likely to do. Don’t avoid it. Accept it, embrace it and move beyond it. You’ll go further faster when you do. Let go of having to be perfect.

We Are What We Repeatedly Do – Positive Or Negative

Give yourself permission to succeed. Love yourself through it all. Be patient. Be thankful you can do anything at all! Be thankful you have the opportunity to screw up. Not everyone does. Not everyone can do what you are learning to do. Be glad you are able to!

Everyone who succeeds was once a novice. Be thankful you can as well as you can. Be grateful in all things. The right attitude is like grease to the wheel. It accelerates everything. You can get better the more you relax yourself and let it happen. Yes, commit to practice but make it positive practice. That’s why I tell you always celebrate everything.” Rex Sikes

Discover today and bask in it!

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Acceptance, Awareness, Flow, Focus

Expert Reveals: You Must Develop Singular Focus Now!

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“A few decades ago a large part of my personal development programs was to help people to multitask. People needed to be able to do more than one thing simultaneously. Today, people need to be able to concentrate and learn to do just one thing at a time.

Ideally, people can be successful at both, using either ability at the appropriate times. However, in this millennial age of distraction people seem unable to focus.  Many, especially children, but even adults, wear official labels stating they can’t concentrate.

They can, if not all, most can, focus and do quite well given the opportunity. Today, I’d like to focus on learning how to better concentrate and simplify life. Much benefit can be experienced when you let go, slow down and live simply.  Let’s explore, okay?

The Thing About Meditation Is You Become More And More You

Meditation has been available for eons. Some practice it. There are various types and even various descriptions about what meditation is or what it is not. I’ll use the loosest definition right now for our purposes. Concentration; reflection; contemplation; observation.

It is described as a training of the mind for benefit. I agree. I am only going to share one aspect of it today that is vital to learn and not discuss all the potential benefits and aspects. Concentration or focus is what people need to learn to do more of. To be single-minded.

Today, people eat and talk and are on their phones or media all day. Music, sounds or images are played in the background almost everywhere we go. Few people enjoy just being alone with themselves while eating, traveling or walking or whatever!

I Meditate So My Mind Cannot Complicate My Life

They must always be engaged or distracted by social media or some electronic toy or by other people.  This does not promote health or well-being. It is important to shut it off and relax. It is important mentally, physically and spiritually to let it all go for awhile.

Get yourself a candle or battery operated tea lamp flame and place it before you. Sit comfortably and relax. Breath and simply look at the flame. Focus you attention on the flame. Do nothing else. Breath. Whenever you notice yourself thinking something else stop.

Gently, return your attention to the flame. This may occur many times and that it is okay. The purpose IS to learn to return your attention to the flame without judgement or exasperation. Simply gaze at the flame. Allow your mind to quiet. It will eventually.

In Meditation You Develop Powerful Muscles Of Calm And Insight

Yes, you have to train it. It is used to NOT doing this. It will jump around all over the place. This is what it has always been doing unless you trained it. It will require some time and patience. It is not exciting, it may be boring. That is okay. Great benefit can come!

Take your time. Slow down. Spend at least 5 minutes. Go for 10 or 20. Do it when you won’t be distracted or interrupted. Turn off your cell phone. Make it a pleasant, comfortable, sacred time. This is time for you to do something wonderful for yourself. This is for you!

Soften the lights, turn them down. Quiet your environment. If you use a lit candle make sure it is safe and won’t catch anything on fire if you left it unattended. You shouldn’t and won’t of course. Just be smart about it. Enjoy this time. Let go, relax, de-stress and be. Enjoy.

Starve Your Distractions Feed Your Focus – Know Thyself

Do it each day. Once a day is fine. Twice is good, too. Unwind, let go and concentrate. Focus your attention. At other times of the day shut off your phone. Just sit with nature. Observe and listen to what is occurring. Be with it. Let it fill your awareness. Be present.

Enjoy being here and now. Live in the moment every once and awhile. Eat your food and simply eat. No media. No books. No conversation. Be silent. Just enjoy. Savor your food and the experience. Live here and now. Attend to right NOW.

Go for a walk and just notice how it feels. The temperature, the movement, your feet on the earth. Feel it rather than think about it. Listen to the sounds. See what you see. Simply notice. The tendency will be to name and label what you notice. Okay, just let it go. Just be.

To A Mind That Is Still The Whole Universe Surrenders

Simply walk and enjoy the walk. Let go of everything and just BE the experience you are having as you are having it. Let go of thoughts as they occur. Watch those come and go to instead of entertaining them. Stay present, when your mind goes elsewhere return it gently.

Whenever, you find yourself visiting the past or the future return your attention to here and now. When washing dishes just wash the dishes. Focus on what you are doing. Train and control your mind. Take time to focus. Take time to relax. Live differently for awhile.

Find moments in each day to escape into the present. Find moments to unwind and appreciate the moment you are living. Be aware, be peaceful, be what is right now. Listen and observe without judging. Yes, it is not easy at first but in time it can become easier and easier.

Meditate Because Some Questions Can’t Be Answered  By Google

Many people today train their bodies. They go to the gym to get fit. True, many still do not. Those who train realize at some level, for some benefit, it is important to do. They wouldn’t do it without benefits, right. Others, don’t see the benefit so they don’t.

Training your mind to serve you, instead of you serving it, is important, even more important. Take the time to learn to control your thought processes. Eventually, you will realize you are not your thoughts. Thoughts are something YOU have not what you are.

Most thoughts are not even yours. They stem from the conditioning we grew up with. Most of ‘our’ thoughts are actually those we learned to have from other people. Wouldn’t you like to learn to think for yourself rather than from prior, old, chronic conditioning?

The Quieter You Become The More You Can Hear

You can. You can learn to control your thoughts and you can learn to let go and go beyond your thoughts. For now, start simply. Focus. Concentrate on the flame. There are other forms of meditation I will share from time to time. For now practice this. Do it repeatedly.

Build the habit and the benefits will please you. Stop and enjoy life as it unfolds. Live more in the present. Become aware. Live more simply and enjoyable. Be grateful for right now. Be appreciative for what you have in this moment too. Live with awareness and delight. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Discover yourself today!

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Attitude, Focus, Intentional Thinking, Mindset

Why I Insist You Take The 24 Hour Opportunity Challenge!

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“Why do I insist you take the 24 hour opportunity challenge? Because mindset is everything. If you don’t believe it you can prove it to yourself. If you are honest and daring, committed to learning the difference and willing to play all out. If yes, go get some contrast.

If you aren’t familiar with Adam Markel’s 24 Hour Opportunity Challenge go and read the previous blog. Adam is the author of the new book ‘Pivot: The Art And Science Of  Reinventing Your Career And Life’. Alright, are you now ready to begin. Okay, get contrast!

For 24 hours think nothing but crappy, lousy, defeating, negative thoughts. Think how much you suck, the world sucks, everyone sucks. Nothing ever works out for you, you are a loser and won’t ever get ahead. Think these legitimately and fully commit.

Are you in? Are you going to do it? I wouldn’t but that is just me. Most people already think a lot like this. If they aren’t downright negative their thinking  is lackluster and mediocre. They aren’t thinking powerfully positive they ho-hum through life.

A Positive Attitude Gives You Power Over Your Circumstances

So if you want you can go ahead and experiment. Or you can examine your own thoughts and determine whether each one you are aware of is negative or positive. Does the thought support you or defeat you? Does it make you more powerful or weaker?

Do you feel more confident or less confident? Do you feel more happy or less happy, even angry or sad? Which is it? Either you are negative or positive? Where do you spend most of your thinking time; in ‘I can’t’ or ‘I can.’? Are you feeling energetic or tired?

Are you feeling on top of the world or as if the world is on top of you? Are you taking responsibility and moving forward and making progress with your dreams and goals or are you blaming others and the world and making excuses for why you haven’t or can’t yet?

A Negative Thinker Sees A Difficulty In Every Opportunity

Well, which is it? Mindset is everything! How you look out into the world determines largely what you find, what you feel and what you experience. It isn’t magical it is just what it is. If you feel like things suck well then they probably do for you. For you, not for everyone.

Another person may feel in charge and on top of things. What we think determines how we feel. How we feel from that thought determines what thoughts we think next. Each thought and feeling leads to another. It is cyclic. Either spiraling down or rising up.

Which is more predominant in your daily life? It it positivity and optimism, good feelings and fun? Are you filled with ‘I can do it’ and then you take action or is it otherwise? If it IS OTHERWISE the great news is you can change it. It may take some work but you can do it.

A Positive Thinker Sees An Opportunity In Every Difficulty

That is why the opportunity challenge is such a great vehicle. Look for opportunity. Set your mind on it. Refuse to consider anything else. See everything as an opportunity for something, for growth or learning or moving ahead or relaxing and chilling. Opportunity!

Instead of whining and complaining that you aren’t getting the breaks, perhaps you could make your own, if you only thought more powerfully and positively. Perhaps, you’d be more creative and imaginative and find new ways you haven’t yet considered?

Wouldn’t that be cool? Of course it would! But you have to dive in to get the benefit. No dipping the toes. You must fully immerse yourself! Okay, okay, if you want to run through the sprinkler first and get a little wet, fine. Try it out. Put it into practice. Implement!

Train Your Mind To See The Good In Every Situation

Learn to control your attention and energy. Learn to concentrate and focus your mind like a powerful laser beam. Make your mind do what you want it to instead of you being bothered by it. Use your backbone. Develop some iron will. Stop being wimpy.

Invest in yourself. Take the challenge. Set your mind on the positive and find out what is there for you. Don’t stop at one day. Keep going. Develop a powerful new unstoppable attitude. Live life fully. Take charge of yourself and live as a champion does. Have fun!

I bet if you really do this you will discover something incredible. I bet you will have insights and learning and all sorts of fascinating moments. Only you can convince yourself it is worthwhile so take the plunge. Dive in and reap the rewards and benefits!

Focus On What You Can Change Your Atititude –  Mindset –  Energy

Be enthused. feel delighted. Look around at all the incredible opportunity there is to discover. Look and listen. Feel it! Find the good in all things. Find the opportunities that once were hidden. You can do this! Feel grateful, be appreciative and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Discover delight in all you do!

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Focus, Intentional Thinking, Mindset, Opportunity

Take The 24 Hour Opportunity Challenge!

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“Recently, Adam Markel, CEO and owner of the personal and business success training company, New Peaks, and author of the fantastic new book ‘Pivot: The Art And Science Of Reinventing Your Career And Life’ issued a challenge. I heard it. I accepted it.

You can too! I happened to be there when he mentioned it. I love it. It is a powerful, positive challenge, in line with all good thinking practices. He is passionate and dedicated to helping people transform their careers and their lives.

Adam walks his talk. He issued the challenge. I share it here so you can too. It is simple, absolutely simple. Whether it is easy remains to be seen. Regardless, the benefits can be huge. I hope you will join us and the others who already have begun.

The Bigger The Challenge – The Bigger The Opportunity

For 24 hours focus on opportunity. Think: There are no problems. Be: peaceful and calm. For 24 hours maintain your focus on this thought, this mantra: ‘I only see opportunities’. Remind yourself again and again. There you have it. Will you accept the challenge?

‘I see opportunities in everything. I see opportunities everywhere’. Notice the opportunities in everything. Look for the opportunity not the problem. Whatever occurs, steer your mind to how there is opportunity right there for you. If you go astray, gently return.

The challenge is to maintain this positive frame no matter what happens. Don’t look at or for the problem. Look at or for the opportunity. Can you imagine the opportunity in doing this? Not yet? Well, perhaps you will after you take the challenge.

Your Big Opportunity May Be Right Where You Are Right Now

Give it a try for 24 hours. One day. That isn’t too much to ask. Control and manage your thoughts for 24 hours. You can do it. It will be fun, illuminating and who knows what positive good you will discover? Are you up for the challenge. If so, do it! And then…

I suggest you do it again. Then again. ‘I only see opportunities’. Remind yourself. That is your mantra for 24 hours. Put a guard before your mind and thoughts, your eyes, your ears and your lips. There ARE NO problems only opportunities. ‘I see opportunity’.

It Is Not A Problem – It Is An Opportunity To Make A Change

Live and breath and speak only opportunity. For 24 hours you are not allowed to whine, complain, blame or discuss problems. Keep vigilant. If others are talking problems don’t join them. Don’t get sucked into gossip and other issues. Stay the course.

Do it. It can be life changing. While you are at it, read his new book, ‘Pivot’. You will be glad you did both. You may delight and surprise yourself by how powerful this process is. Take the challenge, have fun, learn a lot and enjoy! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

How many ways can you discover to delight yourself and others!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Awareness, Beliefs, Confidence, Creating The Future

Reflections On Another 9/11

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“You aren’t born a patriot or a christian or a jew. You are made a patriot, christian, jew, or muslim. Every country, each culture indoctrinates the youth. We are inculcated from birth and raised to be a product of the minds and environment around us.

We aren’t born Americans or Italians or Spaniards or Africans. We are  born people of a planet whose inhabitants have subdivided and drawn imaginary boundaries or borders, whom have institutionalized and nationalized its citizenry. All nations have.

I am not an American. I am not pro-american. I am not a flag waver or a reciter of pledges. I am not anti-american either. I am a human who lives in a particular area on the planet and who must, to some degree, to get along successfully adhere to its practices and rules.

Don’t Ruin A Good Today By Thinking About A Bad Yesterday

I do. AND I understand each group of people have theirs as well. None are correct or true. All have good points and all are flawed. We live in a nationalized world. If we want to engage in commerce we must play by the rules of the areas we are born into.

We can buck the system, reject the system, leave the system for another system but we can’t really be free of the system and live within the civilized world. We may rise above the system and be free in mind and spirit. We are still required to cooperate.Citizens we are.

We can be free in our hearts and soar high in our minds even while tethered to the land we walk on. So, likewise, we can be free of the political indoctrination while playing the game of citizen. We don’t have to live conditioned to jump because we are told we are to.

Forget What Hurt You But Remember What It Taught You

Songs, symbols all have the meaning we give it. Ours and others write their history as they deem it. None of this in intrinsic to us. Our flag, their flag, our anthem, their anthem; we all pledge allegiance to different lands, different rules, different ways of being.

What we have in common is we all do it. All nations do it. We are meaning makers. We are egocentric, we think what we do is important, even more important than what someone else or some other country does. We are all pretty similar in this regard.

I am at times proud of the country I live in. At other times I am ashamed. I don’t believe my country is any better than any other because we say it is. That is the folly of the zealot. Some countries seem more humane than others while others are less so.

Moving On Is Only For Those Brave Enough To Do So – Is That You

Some do good and bad things just as the people who populate any area are capable of. I am not in favor of institutionalized bigotry or discrimination. We are all the same species living within imaginary borders none of which appear on the actual planet. Classified!

Borders only exist on maps and human made globes. Territories are negotiated between people. We all have the same blood, breathe the same air, require food to sustain us, live in the same atmosphere and circle the sun together. We are all riding on the same spaceship!

Race, nationality, religion are all human made. They are distinctions to categorize and divide, designed to separate for political reasons. Groupings that don’t really matter except to those who engineered and adhere to the groupings. Designed for them used against us.

Awareness Is The First Step To Change Understanding The Second

It began with bands and tribes. Long ago humans notice and accentuated differences. They included and excluded based on economics and survival. Marriages and dowries exchanged for power and resources. People, separated, some by ‘blue blood’.

Those deemed born better than others. The haves and the have nots. The castle crowd and the peons. All of it is arbitrary and artificial. Concepts which are strained as we move forward in the 21st century. People fight to preserve the status quo. Vested interests.

Others seek to dismantle it. Some simply to move beyond such distinctions and celebrate our togetherness as people on one planet. We are a large group of fleas on the back of a dog. Not really much more than that. Except, this group can promote life or destroy it all.

Let Go Of The Past And Embrace Everything That Awaits You

We have evolved our technologies beyond our prudent and wise use of them. We are capable of doing great harm because we haven’t learned how to live and get along peacefully yet. We have not evolved ourselves as far or rapidly as our technology. We must.

We would do well to live with greater awareness of self and others. We would be wise to understand we are ALL in it together. We are all fighting for the same things in various ways. Enemies, like strangers, are just friends we haven’t made yet. We could, you know.

Perhaps, we aren’t ‘there yet’ as a species. We are still too concerned with power and control. We seek domination. We compete. We must be the top Alpha dog or we are nothing. Silly humans, we so miss the point. We live in potential paradise.

Life Provides You With Every Opportunity To Learn And To Evolve

Yet, we create most of the problems. Yes, weather and tectonics provide some. All the rest are human made problems we could most probably avoid. Some day perhaps we will. Until then, perhaps we ought to attempt to avoid them. Learn to get along. Become aware.

I think we would be better served deciding what we want that is good for all instead of for just a few. We would be better served building what we want instead of tearing down what we don’t. We focus on the wrong things too often. Let’s focus on the positive.

People celebrate wars and acts of terror. They say never forget but all that remembering hasn’t prevented anything, yet. Perhaps, we should forget and instead focus on the good that came from horrible acts. Promote what we want. Remember that and let go of all else.

I don’t celebrate a tragedy, nor an attack, nor the blame of whom may be responsible. All of that I would prefer to forget. People die everyday. People are attacked every day. People are blamed everyday. Horrible acts happen everyday all around the world.

Learn To Make Better Choices – The Decision Is Yours

I let go of death and destruction. I am not interested in the politics of 9/11 or other dates of destruction. I do remember that people were lost, sadly, tragically, needlessly. I celebrate the lives of those who left us because life is a celebration. We should remember them.

What I celebrate is people coming together to help those in a time of need. People responding bravely and selflessly to assist, rescue and recover others with no thought of the cost to themselves. These people didn’t have to but they did because they cared. 

I celebrate those who helped and got sick and died because they gave of themselves. I celebrate bonding and coming together for the good of each other. When calamity hits people tend to help each other. This is what we need to promote more of. Help each other!

What You Focus On Expands – You Get What You Focus On

Give, be generous. Stop the ‘me against them mentality’ and create a ‘we’ mentality. We are all in it together. We are on this rock until we aren’t. I repeat, we are all in it together. Let’s act like it. Let’s come together. Let celebrate our differences and embrace each other.

The world is filled with far more good people than bad. There are far more good acts than bad acts every day. This is what I choose to focus on and remember. This is what I choose to perpetuate. Life affirming, kindness and generosity toward others, selfless giving and a sense of hope. Peace, love, kindness, charity and goodwill. Be grateful for one another delight in each other. Then celebrate everything.” Rex Sikes

Today, find ways to delight yourself and others!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Affirmations, Beliefs, Creating The Future, Responsibility

How To Get What You Want: The Law Of Attraction Or Neuroscience Which Is It?

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“It doesn’t matter whether you believe the Law Of Attraction to be real or not real. Simply consider it a working principle, like gravity. Whether you accept it or not doesn’t matter. Gravity doesn’t rely on you accepting it for the consequences of it to be real.

I don’t think the Law Of Attraction is some magical law that makes the outer world bend to your will. I think of it as The Law Of Cause And Effect. For every cause there is an effect. The notion of like attracts like is simple, birds of a feather flock together.

I don’t make a big, magical, mystical deal about it. I don’t make a big deal over gravity either. I don’t believe or disbelieve in gravity, I accept it as what is. Perhaps, that IS believing, but I go about my day and let gravity do its thing. It will whether I care or not.

Whether You Think You Can Or Think You Can’t You Are Right

Some may prefer to think of the Law Of Attraction as neuroscience seems to regard it. It is a matter of your perceptions and what you believe. Our outlook, our frame of mind, our neurological filters govern what we experience as reality.

Our brain and senses govern our connection with ‘out there’. This is what connects us to the ‘outer world’. Without our consciousness we don’t experience the outer world. Yes, it may actually exist if we don’t, but who can actually say. Einstein preferred to think it does.

Still, if you are in a coma, you may NOT experience the world as we know it. You may but not remember it, you may experience other things or you may not at all. I don’t think the jury is in on that one yet. Prior to human consciousness no one determines a day good or bad.

Birds Of A Feather Flock Together

No one complained about the weather. That takes weather and a human AND a purpose. If you plan to plant and the weather destroys your seeds one might consider this NOT a good thing. Because you wanted to plant and now you can’t it sucks. That is what humans do.

Humans add a judgement to what is. They add the value. They make it one up or one down when the reality is IT just IS. So people do the same with ‘faith’, and with ‘science’. We judge everything! We judge everything from our own limited perceptual maps and filters.

We, according to ‘neuroscience’, KNOW that we can’t KNOW everything but we act as if we do. We often act as if we ARE the authority and as if what we THINK is the case, is the case. It most probably isn’t but that doesn’t matter to us. We think it is.

Awareness Is Needed For You To Deliberately Change

So neuroscience is all about your neural pathways and perceptions and consciousness or awareness. It looks at our how awareness has evolved through time. Philosophy and religion do too. All of it is our best guesses about the nature of things.

I believe that we have an opportunity to get our brain and mind to work for us instead of seemingly against us. I believe our brain and mind IS important in how we experience the world and the results we get or don’t. I believe it does matter what we think and do.

Without human thought none of our human creations would exist. Thought created this world as we know it, good and bad. None of our buildings, roads, electronics would exist without thought and the ability to carry out plans. These exist because of thinking.

Thought Or Mental Action Precedes All Action 

Thought is a powerful creative force. Some people are free because of their thoughts some are imprisoned. Literally and figuratively. How we go through our daily life is dependent on the daily thoughts we think. Our results stem from our mindset and attitude.

Our feelings and actions, our habits are dependent on what we are thinking. Good thoughts lead to good feelings which lead to good actions and good habits. This pathway leads to good results. Are the results guaranteed? Nope, but they are more likely than not.

If you work at it and never give up you are bound to get further than the person who thinks they can’t or won’t. If you start and keep going  you are bound to get further than the person who never starts regardless of whether you know what your are doing or not.

You Reap What You Sow – What Have You Planted

It’s has everything to do with self alignment. You think and then you do and get back according to your thoughts and actions. Cause and effect, the Law Of Attraction or neuroscience, or pseudoscience you act and reactions occur. You shove and someone shoves back.

Get it?  You don’t have to make it mystical. You can see it happen everyday. You can see thought bring about results in action each moment. All you have to do is look and listen. Watch the people who whine and complain and what they think is preventing them.

Regardless of their answers or assignment of cause, the bottom line is, if they are complaining about not getting, they aren’t getting. It isn’t benefiting them to complain IS IT? Blaming not planting on the weather still means not planting. Until you plant nothing happens.

Don’t Expect Corn If You Plant Beans – You Reap What You Sow

YOU have to do it regardless of what you THINK prevents you. Obviously, I mean this to be about getting the good you desire for yourself and others in honest and legitimate ways. A conscience is still a good thing. More people need to use it.

Your thoughts affect how you  feel and the results you are able to get. It’s not magic but seemingly magical. So whether you believe you connect with the Universe or the Law Of Attraction bestows things on you or that your brain is doing it all doesn’t matter.

Just get your mindset straight and working for you. Think and grow rich as Napoleon Hill said. Think and create. Think and attract. Think and make your good thoughts happen because you are the principle thinker and architect of those thoughts. Do it. No one else will.

You Can Plant Flowers Or Weeds Which Are You Planting

Find or attract like minded people who are interested in making the same thing happen as you are and work together in harmony and precision. That is loosely the basis of a mastermind group. Birds of a feather flock together whether they are thoughts or birds.

Like minded people accomplished great things in this world in spite of experts and others, and their parents, telling them they couldn’t and that they would fail. They triumphed in spite of hardship, bad weather, raging seas, opposing forces and armies.

Most succeeded because they believed they would and because they felt they must. They thought straight into it. They acted their way forward. They let nothing stop them. Whether they believed in god or not they did it. You can too. You can make it happen.

To Get More Good You Must Think More Good And Do More Good

You don’t have to believe the Law Of Attraction is real or not. You don’t have to accept neuroscience. Make it happen because you believe you can make it happen. Then work to do it. If you believe in your purpose and in yourself you can bring it into being.

You can enlist the aid of others if necessary. Most things need others sweat or finances. People need people to move things along. Be nice. Go first if you want others to join you. Treat them well and be a person they can like, trust and be loyal to. Live high standards.

Think your way to success. Aim your thoughts. Manage them and your emotions and you can prevail. Be the Law Of Attraction in action and draw all good things unto you. Believe you can. Believe you can find or create away around any obstacle. Then you will.

Your Thoughts Make It So – Perception Is Everything

Attitude IS everything. Enjoy life to the fullest. Have fun. delight. Make it delicious. All work and no play, you know! Stop and smell the roses. Share your delights with loved ones and others. Be generous not stingy. Feel thankful and blessed and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Delight in this day!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!