Category Archives: Affirmations

Good News: Affirmations Work! Bad News: You Don’t Know What You Are Doing!

I addressed the reason some people have difficulty working with affirmations over thirty years ago in an article ‘ Why Affirmations Don’t Work’. I share these principles in my works, Directed Questions™, the Attitude Activator™ and Mind Design™ training.

I had the very same problem most people do. I was getting much of what I don’t want and not very much of what I did want. I would make declarative statements and then feel like I was lying.  I’d engage in a big inner fight with myself.I struggled for years.

Then I had a major crisis in my life. As a result I locked myself in my apartment and didn’t leave for six weeks, while I sat in a chair, reciting affirmations. It was during this time I discovered the key to making affirmations work for me. They can work for you, too!

You Get What You Think About Most Frequently 

Here’s an important principle you must understand. We are always, already, getting whatever we affirm, though some people mostly manifest crap. That is because they affirm and discuss crap most of the time. Don’t think of affirmations as something positive.

Think of affirmations as something you do. An affirmation is a declaration. You can declare positively or negatively! Most people are expert at negative affirmations. They declare, and repeatedly declare, or affirm, what they don’t want, or would prefer to exclude.

So, that is what they keep ending up with! You must understand this. Whatever you give your attention to, YOU are focused on AND, you are affirming. Your attention is energy and you are either pouring energy into the positive or you are pouring it into the negative.

You And Your Results Are Your Mindset – Attitude Matters

Most people, most of the time, are pouring their energy into the negative. They talk, share and discuss their problems. They get caught up in gossip, negative and bad news in their daily life and in the media. It consumes most of their daily thinking times.

If they aren’t negative they are distracted, watching mindless TV or reality shows, playing electronic games or more. Little time is spent energizing and attending to what they want to make happen other that to hope and wish things would somehow change.

Wishing and hoping won’t help! So little time is spent on the positive. So much time is on negative. It is little wonder why people’s lives often suck. The reason people don’t make it work right for themselves is because they focus on the positive in fleeting ways.

Whether You Think You Can Or You Can’t You Are Right

Then spend the most all of their moments on the negative. Their focus and energy is negative. They’re out of balance. Your thinking preponderance has to shift from the negative to the positive. You get back what you spend most of your time doing! You must get this.

You have to understand that your circumstance and results come from how you think, believe and perceive things. In order to get better results and positive circumstances you have to change what you have been doing. You have been affirming the problems!

Stop and shift. Change your focus. It does require that you take charge and be willing to do what it takes to gain control over your own thought process and your life. It is simple. It is not always easy at first, but it gets easier but you must start if you want to change.

The Mind Is As Strong As Its Weakest Think – Think Positive

A good practice, is gratitude. Finding the good and appreciating in everything. Looking and seeking to find. It won’t come to you, you have to do it. If you want YOUR life to change YOU have to change some things you are doing. Begin by celebrating everything!” Rex Sikes

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The Power Of Statements And Questions

“People ask wrong questions. People ask questions like ‘how long will this take’ rather than ‘how soon can I get it?’ ‘How come nothing ever works out’, instead of, ‘how soon will I discover everything always works out for the best, even if I don’t yet realize it?’

‘How come I am so stupid?’ They ask all sorts of ill phrased questions and make all sorts of ill phrased declarations such as ‘I’d die for chocolate’ or ‘that’s a real pain in the ass’ etc.  Remember, speak only to bless, heal and prosper, inspire and motivate yourself and others!

Most of people’s negative comments come charged with emotion and many of their positive ones are lackluster. Affirmations work when driven by large emotion negative or positive. Positive ones work best when you are enthused and passionate.

You Become What You Think About Most Often 

Many people experience negative problems and troubles because they affirm while angry and raging. Many create more negativity and problems because most of their moments are spent feeling negative, lots of other negative energy, they affirm it by what they say.

They declare the crap and so they continue to perpetuate the crap. Do you?  In order to transform yourself and your life the preponderance of your energy, your thoughts, feelings and words must shift from the negative to positive.

You get what you think about most frequently. Energy goes where your attention goes. Do you want to change? Would you like to transform? Are you stuck and need a new way to be? You can change! You will begin changing when you become positive, find the good, discover gratitude and celebrate everything.” Rex Sikes

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Without Self Control You Are Stuck And Face Blocks
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Manage Your Mindset And Success Behaviors Will Follow

“Knowing who to listen to, and who not to, is important when it comes to making positive changes, developing good habits and becoming successful.  Not all information, or sources, is useful. Not all information is equal. You need to know who to listen to.

Selecting a good mentor is crucial. You want someone who has, or does, what you want and who has been where you are. If they come from a background similar to yours and accomplished what you want,  they may be a good mentor for you. Do you understand?

To achieve your goals define your goal. Clarify what you want. Make it a burning desire through visualizing and affirming each day. You must be driven, passionate and enthused by, and about, your goal. If it scares you a little, that is good. It stretches you. Get it?

What You Want To Do With Ease First You Do With Dilligence

Every day repeat your visualization and affirmations. In the old days this was called autosuggestion. I actually like this term. You continue to see yourself as already being it, doing it, having it. Tell yourself you you have made this happen until you firmly believe you will.

Keep it as the predominant thought/s in your mind. As you continue to do this you will begin to fashion a plan to accomplish what you want. This plan will change many times. That is okay. You never develop the perfect plan. You adjust it as you move forward.

Once you have defined your goals clearly, have it as a burning desire, and believe you can accomplish it, shift your focus to the very first step in your plan. You no longer have to focus on the goal.  Keep that in the background while you focus on achieving the steps.

If You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You Are Right

You know what you want and you work the plan, step by step along the way. It is mindset first and  then behaviors follow.  Focus on getting mindset right and you will automatically do the right behaviors. You’ll adjust as necessary. It all works together.

If you focus on behaviors, or the steps, first you can end up spinning your wheels for a long, long time. Mindset is what organizes it all for you.  Mindset is 99% of the game. Behaviors, steps or actions are 1%. Do it correctly and you succeed.

If you’re focused on what to do you can end up getting nowhere fast. You can see this all the time. People being very busy but getting nowhere. Proper action follows the  proper mindset. This is why it is good to have the right mentor who can guide you well. Get it?

Action Is The Proper Fruit Of Knowledge – MindSet First

A mentor can’t do it for you, but if their journey is similar to yours, you can benefit from the mentor’s expertise. If your backgrounds are not similar they won’t be able to guide you properly. Wisdom in choosing who you listen to is key. Books can only get you so far.

Not all books are worth reading either. I recommend you read Napoleon Hill. His work stands the test of time. In Laws Of Success and Think And Grow Rich he explains how it works.  He describes mental process, the thoughts needed to encourage the behavior.

Napoleon Hill said, you focus on what you can control. That is your thoughts. Get your thinking right and all else will follow. That is why he titled the book THINK And Grow Rich, not work hard and grow rich. There is a fundamental, and important, difference in the successful approach. Learn it. Learn gratitude, too. When you do these, things will change for the better. Do it and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Without Self Control You Are Stuck And Face Blocks
When You Learn Self Control You Can Master Anything!

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The Old School Way Works Powerfully!

“Some readers may be old enough to recall a particular punishment or learning method applied when they were young and at school. You were told to write 100 times ‘I will not talk during class’. ‘I will not tease Sally.’ ‘I will not fight on the playground.’ Remember this?

If you ever had to write it out, most probably you will. Repetition is the very effective way we learn new behaviors, create habits and extinguish old, negative behaviors by replacing them. Repetition works wonders. It is proven to work, without question.

What is questionable are the instructions as listed above. We have known for many, many decades, that the brain does not process a negative but works only with affirmative commands. What do I mean? I mean the ‘not’ isn’t noticed in the sentence or command.

Don’t Think Of A Blue Elephant Wearing A Pink Hat

While we can understand what is intended and operate on it, it takes a few extra brain steps to do so. Think of it this way. If the brain ignores the word ‘not’ or ‘don’t what does it notice, remember and act on. Imagine this sentence, ‘Don’t forget your watch!’

If ‘don’t’ is eliminated or ignored, what is left? ‘Forget your watch!’ If you say, ‘I will not talk in class.’ What is remembered if ‘not’ is ignored? ‘I will talk in class’. You know you are not supposed to but what do you write 100 times over and over. ‘I will talk in class.’

That is not the complete sentence, but the ‘not’ is ignored. So, ‘I wont tease Sally.’ or ‘I won’t fight (or will not) fight during recess’ emphasizes the very behavior you want the child, or person, to eliminate or avoid doing. So what should they write instead?

Affirm What You Want – State It Positively – Focus Focus Focus

If you want them to do a particular behavior or learn something positively phrase it. Say or write, ‘I will remember to take my watch.’ ‘I will treat Sally nicely and with respect.’ ‘I will sit quietly and pay attention during class.’ ‘I will be friendly and play nice during recess.’

Get it? Affirm what you want and stop affirming what you do not want. State things in the positive. ‘I am confident.’ or ‘I am learning to be confident.’ Or ‘I am in the process of becoming more confident.’ Get it? Say what YOU WANT to manifest. BECAUSE…

Whatever you say is what you get! If you say, ‘This will be tough.’ you are setting yourself up for it to be difficult. If you say, ‘I have trouble remembering names,’ guess what you have difficulty with? Say what you want. Mean what you intend to mean. Drop negative phrasing.

You Are Where Your Thoughts Take You – You Create Your Reality

When you do so much becomes easier. You may say well, ‘That’s hard. I have difficulty phrasing things positively.’ Yes, in fact you do. You just said so. You affirmed and validated it. OKAY, so what if it is tough? Do you really want to stop there or would you like to change?

If you want to change, you could say, “It was difficult for me to think positively about myself but I am in the processes of learning to think powerful, positive new thoughts about me.’ ‘Each time I affirm that I am wonderful I begin to believe it a little bit more.’ Get it? Do it!

Start phrasing things, describing things, talking about and thinking about things in positive terms of what you want to create, make happen, manifest or attract. Eliminate that which you want to avoid, or eliminate. Get it? “Yes, I am beginning to understand this!’

Learn To Aim Your Thoughts And Language At What You Want

‘I am in the process of learning how to speak positively. I am beginning to speak only to bless, heal and prosper myself and others. I am learning to only discuss what I want to enjoy more of. I am in the process of discovering I create my reality by what I think and say.’

Get it? You can do this. Affirm what you want. Drop the rest. Look for the good and that which you can be grateful for and emphasize these things, people, and moments. Take the sting out of circumstances by deliberately choosing where and what to focus on. Look for the blessings and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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‘What’s Stopping You?’ You’ll like my gift to you! ‘What’s Stopping You’ is a life changing 22 minute audio MP3 that helps you go beyond limitations, break through and make positive things happen! Get it! It is Free!

Without Self Control You Are Stuck And Face Blocks
When You Learn Self Control You Can Master Anything!

GET MENTORING AND COACHING Those interested in learning more, come join me now in Mind Design™! Send email or leave comments, but reach out NOW! New programs available.

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch

You Can Only Think One Thought At A Time!

According to research we can only think one thought at a time. One thought at a time! Get it? So if you are thinking a positive, happy, good thought you CANNOT think a negative, less than glorious, bad thought at the same time. It is impossible! Get that? It’s important!

If you want to be happy all the time, then think happy thoughts all the time. Choose what you think about! Our thoughts regulate our brain chemistry. Think a negative thought and you are more likely to think another negative thought and feel negative. It works this way.

HOWEVER, think a positive thought and you are more likely to think another positive thought and feel positive! Our brain can’t tell the difference between the outer world and what we are thinking in our head. It accepts both as the same. Get it? It responds the same way!

You Become What You Think About Most Often

This is why we physiologically respond to a real fear or an imagined one. That is why mental imagery and suggestion can sexually arouse us in the absence of any real world stimuli. It all happens in our head and body. Get it? We get what we focus on. It literally expands!

Put your attention, lock your focus, on the glorious, the good, the positive, the happy and you inner mechanism will electro-chemically respond by enhancing your levels of dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin, which causes us feelings of well-being. It works this way!

Our internal electro-chemistry creates our feelings of satisfaction, contentment and/or happiness. Think happy and you will feel happy! As you feel happy you will think happy! It is a positive feedback loop. BUT think negative and you can go into a negative feedback loop.

Thoughts Lead To Feelings Lead To Behaviors Lead To Results

To stop the negative you need to stop! Take a break! Use your body, breath, smile, laugh, do anything else! Shift your attention to a happy thought. Remember, you can only think one thought at a time! SO change it from less than glorious to glorious. Get it? DO IT! It works!

Then choose another happy thought. Lock your concentration on the positive. Energy flows where your attention goes. AS you continue to pay attention to happy thoughts you feel happy and it gets easier and easy. Keep doing it and make it a habit! Get it?

You create the momentum. Whenever you are not feeling good, interrupt it, stop and shift! Then put, and keep, your attention on the positive. The more you do it the easier it gets to do it. Soon, if you keep at it, you will develop a positive supportive habit that you can keep for the rest of your life! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

*** Create Your Best Life And Transform Yourself!*** 
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‘What’s Stopping You?’ You’ll like my gift to you! ‘What’s Stopping You’ is a life changing 22 minute audio MP3 that helps you go beyond limitations, break through and make positive things happen! Get it! It is Free!

Without Self Control You Are Stuck And Face Blocks
When You Learn Self Control You Can Master Anything!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch

Write Out Your Affirmations This Way!

“One of the best things you can do daily is to write out your affirmations by hand. Use pen and paper. Every morning, as part of your daily ritual, write down the affirmations you are working on. Word them the same each day. Repeat daily and keep doing this.

THIS is a powerful way to communicate with your subconscious and get it to accept the beliefs you are working on. Use present tense when writing. ‘I am magnificent’. If you can’t yet believe that, then write out, ‘I am in the process of learning I am magnificent!’

Or, ‘I am beginning to learn how truly magnificent I am’. Writing these down helps you to more fully imagine your desire and wires it in by using your body. It is not just imagined visually or spoken words but physically wired it in. Always feel enthused while you’re doing it.

The More We Do The More We Are Able To Do

When on the road, driving safely, you can shout and chant and sing your affirmations powerfully. The more emotion you infuse them with the more powerful they become. Our emotions drive everything. So use your most joyous and powerful emotions to do it.

Have fun. Make it daily practice. First thing in morning, along with your other morning practices, is a great time to feed your mind. Do your rituals at the same time each day. Make it a sacred practice.  Enjoy the process! You can also do it any other time during the day and before bed. Feel wonderful! Feel grateful! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

OPPORTUNITIES FOR YOU!

*** Create Your Best Life And Transform Yourself!*** 
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‘What’s Stopping You?’ You’ll like my gift to you! ‘What’s Stopping You’ is a life changing 22 minute audio MP3 that helps you go beyond limitations, break through and make positive things happen! Get it! It is Free!

Without Self Control You Are Stuck And Face Blocks
When You Learn Self Control You Can Master Anything!

GET MENTORING AND COACHING  Those interested in learning more, come join me now in Mind Design™! Send email or leave comments, but reach out NOW! New programs available.

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch

Why You Should Use Affirmations

“We use affirmations to fill our mind with the thoughts we want to think on an automatic and habitual basis. We condition the mind with affirmations so we get back from our mind what we put into it, whenever we need to. Automatically and reliably! It is habit.

We make positive statements so when the going gets tough we get the benefits of our positive thinking. Just as you harvest the fruits of the seeds you planted earlier. Saying affirmations is the planting of seeds. The results you get in life are the results of your sowing.

The bottom line is you want to create positive thought habits because many of the thought habits you acquired during the growing process were not positive but limiting. Years of less than optimal programming filled the mind. Affirmations replace that!

I Believe In Myself And My Abilities – I Have Unlimited Potential

Affirmations are the new programming and the new programming instructions for how you choose to now live your life. You decide. you affirm it , you make it happen. Affirmations are the gas in your vehicle. They provide the necessary mental rocket fuel to take off.

What most people don’t understand correctly, is we already use affirmations to great effect to get exactly what we don’t want. Consider worry as negative planning. How we think and speak on a routine basis creates our experience. We live from our thoughts.

More about this in the next blog. For now. Practice affirmations daily. Put them to work for you as suggested in the last blog. Focus on things you are grateful for and create a daily list. Affirm your gratitude list everyday, too. Out loud, when alone works wonders! Enjoy, delight and celebrate everything!”Rex Sikes

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‘What’s Stopping You?’ You’ll like my gift to you! ‘What’s Stopping You’ is a life changing 22 minute audio MP3 that helps you go beyond limitations, break through and make positive things happen! Get it! It is Free!

Without Self Control You Are Stuck And Face Blocks
When You Learn Self Control You Can Master Anything!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch