Category Archives: Overcoming Difficulty

Fear, Habit Formation, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development

We Live In A Parallel Universe: Use It To Go Beyond Your Fears

Leave a comment

lhorizons-ast-stop-phil-koch

“In my recent blog I discussed Systematic Desensitization (SD) as a useful method for getting over fears and phobias. There are other approaches that are very effective too. NLP has a Fast Phobia Cure that can work wonders. Here is a reason why I mentioned SD.

Little by little the individual gets desensitized to the trigger for fear through exposure. They are repeatedly and safely exposed to the stimulus, or source of their fear, which lessens its impact; thereby diminishing their emotional reaction to it. Bit by bit they change.

They experience less and less discomfort. The ‘item’ is brought nearer and nearer to them. Not too quickly. Just as rapidly as the person can maintain comfort in the presence of the trigger. If it get close too quickly, they back it up a bit, until the reaction lessens.

Everything You Want Is On The Other Side Of Fear

Then try again later or another day. For example, the SD practitioner presents the ‘item’ to them from across the room. The next time a few steps closer. Next time, more steps closer. Until they are next to the person, whereby the person can handle the item if they choose.

After repeating this for long enough the person typically experiences a reduction in fear. This illustrates a couple of noteworthy points. One a person can get over what they are afraid of by facing it. Yes, they face it in a particular, and safe fashion.

The point is they can learn to get over it. They learn it is not so bad. They learn they can get over feeling afraid. Imagine if they did this ONE thing how many other things they could learn to do, as well. They learned to be afraid. NOW they learned they can control it.

Don’t Let Fear Stop You – If You Can’t You Must – Face Your Fears

People can control their emotions, thoughts, internal pictures, voices, and feelings. They can learn to behave differently. They learned to diminish the fear reaction and overcome it, even if they don’t totally eliminate it. BUT they learn something else, too.

Here is the parallel notion coming in. At the same time they are diminishing their fear they are learning to feel more positive and confident. They are learning they can exist with their fear, face it and be brave and overcome it. They are learning control. Self-control!

It is not that the fear is taken away and nothing left in its place. Remember, nature abhors a vacuum. Instead of just no fear confidence, bravery or some other positive emotion simultaneously comes in to fill the gap. Whatever the person originally wanted.

Courage Is The Ability To Keep Going In Spite Of Being Afraid

Most likely, they wanted to ‘not feel afraid’. Remember, what I have shared with you about the word ‘not’, negativity, and the brain. You can’t not think of a pink cat with zebra stripes wearing a yellow hat, right now. Can you? Don’t think about it. Too late! Oops. Get it?

For some people they could have learned to get over it simply by repeating affirmations and deciding to. For others, they need to face and remove the fear first. Then, simultaneously, fear is replaced with something positive. Either way, the result can be the same.

No fear, more confidence. So in SD the individual is taught how to handle their fear and eliminate it or ‘not’ experience it by building up comfort and familiarity through repeated exposure. Safe repetition is the key. Repetition IS the mother of ALL skill. It works powerfully.

We Have Nothing To Fear Except Fear Itself – Keep On Going 

Another example. A person learns to speak comfortably to one person. Then two. Then three or four. Then 6 or 8. The 10 or 20. Then 30 or 50. Beginning with small numbers the person shares information with increasingly larger sized groups. Guess what?

People learn to get over their fear of public speaking. Once they learn it isn’t so scary they learn it can be fun and enjoyable. They become comfortable with doing it by becoming familiar with the process. Items can be added or subtracted. The point? It works!

We often are more comfortable with those which we are familiar with. Most people fear the unknown. They are afraid of what might happen or what they don’t know, that they imagine, could happen. They are afraid of strangers, animals, flying, foods. You name it.

Even The Darkest Night Ends And The Sun Rises

By repeatedly exposing them to the fear trigger, they face it and develop both familiarity and comfort. You can learn to do anything! You can overcome any debilitating fear this way. Gently and safely. Here is the good news! This is the same way you build any skill.

You repeatedly do it. You familiarize yourself with it and get comfortable or accustomed doing it. It is the same way you build a muscle. Repeat the exercise gradually increasing resistance. You can learn to get over shyness, public speaking and do anything you want.

You can take any desire that you want and turn it into a burning hot desire. You can take any lie and begin to believe it. Some lies are not worth believing. Those include falsehoods of all kinds but most particularly ‘I can’t’ statements, self doubt or criticism.

It Is By Facing Your Fears And Problems You Become Strong

You can begin to believe more useful beliefs like ‘I can’ statements and positive useful affirmations such as ‘I can learn to do anything when I commit to it. I can learn to feel brave and move forward. I can learn to make lots of money easily. I can learn to love and be loved.’

‘I can accept compliments graciously. I can learn to get along with all sorts of people; those like me and those completely different than me. I can learn to listen to opposing viewpoints and feel confident in letting the person keep their ideas without trying to change them.’

‘I am in the process of learning how to speak to groups of people and feel comfortable. I can learn to make any positive change I want. I can eliminate bad habits and fears and move confidently forward. I can be a loving and kind partner and parent. I love my life!’

Whether You Think You Can Or You Can’t – You Are Right

If the mental leap from not being able to do it to being to do it, is at first, too large, you can inch way there by strengthening your word choices. You can start gently by saying, ‘I am beginning to learn I can feel confident’ I am in the process of leaning to feel stronger’.

‘I am beginning to feel much better. I am feeling wonderful. ‘I feel powerful. I am powerful. I have great power. I am confident. I exude strength and comfort easily and effortlessly. I rock! I am strong!’ You work your way up to it through repeated exposure. Anyone can!

This is how our beliefs, thought, feeling and behavioral habits were and are formed. We can learn to overcome the dark side while simultaneously strengthening the  good side. Through repetition we builds bad habits or good habits. You too can make changes.

I Can Do Anything – No Mountain Too High – No Struggle Too Hard

You can make positive, permanent changes when you choose. Choose the best. All of us can increase our abilities and positive feelings.  We can amaze and delight ourselves by going beyond limitations into wonderful new ways of being. We can learn to be, do and have anything we want. We can definitely learn to celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Live passionately today!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Communicating, Fear, Friendship, Overcoming Difficulty

Divided We Fall But United We Stand: So Why Don’t We Unite?

Leave a comment

horizons-inevibilty-phil-koch

“Divided we fall but united we stand. So why don’t we unite? We don’t unite because we are afraid. We have fears. We fear people who may be a bit different from us. People are more alike than they differ BUT what we pay attention to are those slight differences.

We fear opposite colors, religions, political parties, genders, people with money, people without money. We fear big people, little people anyone and everyone unlike us. We fear those from the inner city and the backwoods. We fear the unknown. We fear and fear.

We don’t have to but we do. Do you want to know the best way to get over your fears? OF ANYTHING? Do you know the way that actually works best. Science proves it! Exposure. Repeated exposure to what you fear desensitizes you to it! Imagine that!

There Is No Illusion Greater Than Fear – Face It And It Disappears

Face your fear and you conquer it! Systematic Desensitization (SD) works by gradually little by little exposing the person to the fear. For example, a particular insect, though not classed as one, scares many. It is okay to be afraid by the way as long as it doesn’t paralyze you.

If fear prevents you from doing what you want then you want to get ahold of it and change it. Conquer it. People who regularly risk their lives, troops, police, daredevils, firefighters, skydivers, climbers, divers, regularly, may feel scared but DO in spite of their fears.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear but going a head even while afraid. That is what bravery is. So With SD they expose the person to the ‘item’ at a distance, far enough away that the person can remain calm, even if uncomfortable. Bit by bit over time they move closer.

You Overcome Fear With Action – Go Through It Not Around It

No faster than the person remains comfortable. It may take minutes, hours, days or weeks but often, most often, the person not only finds that this alleviates their fear but some actually touch or hold the ‘item’. Not all will but many do. Regardless, they overcame their fear.

You can too. We all can. Whatever it is. We can do so safely. We can overcome our fear of people. We can unite instead of remaining afraid and divided. Perhaps, it is a way of controlling people to keep them fearing and fighting each other. Divide them and you control.

I prefer to get along with near about everyone. Too many cool people in the world to worry about the few that ain’t. Get it? Focus on what you want. There are far more good people in the world than bad. Every bad ass dictator has gone down. Consider that a moment.

Don’t Let Fear Of What Could Happen Make Nothing Happen

They had done horrible things and then perished. When tragedy or calamity strikes, people rush to help each other. We have lots of good strangers in the world. Sure, some aren’t but most are. There are more fair weather days than bad weather days. Really, there is.

It is all a lot better than we think it is. Why? Because most of us listen to the news or FB. Do you know studies indicate that using FB is depressing. Most of the feed stories are negative and most people combatant over hot topics. We just need to wean ourselves away.

Drop negativity and that which divides us. Stop fostering it. Stop allowing it. Let go of the fear of differences. Celebrate them. Celebrate the similarities too. Accept, allow, receive. Focus on what you want to create that is positive. Focus on good news. Do it!

Put Your Fears Behind You – Put Your Dreams In Front Of You

It is all possible. We can do it. We can unite. We can get along. We can move beyond argument and into agreement. We can look for that which brings us closer instead of that which separates us. We can create harmony and together celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Make a difference in someone’s life today!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Boundaries, Communicating, Overcoming Difficulty, Responsibility

You Must Maintain Your Boundaries Too

2 Comments

horizons-morning-fresh-phil-koch

“Boundaries are important. Their boundaries and your boundaries. You ought not cross theirs nor should they cross yours. So what to do? Treat them with respect and expect the same in return. Don’t demand and be nasty about it. Stay nice, but firm if you must.

Know when someone is wasting your time or mistreating you. Be prepared to say no when it is necessary. Don’t let people abuse your time or your generosity. This may be rare, especially, if you take care to learn how to better read people. If it isn’t check in on yourself.

If you are constantly having squabbles and issues then it is likely you need to make some changes. Remember, it is not easy to change others. It is far more productive and beneficial to change yourself and your responses to others. That is within your control.

A Lack Of Boundaries Invites A Lack Of Respect 

When people try to take advantage or abuse your time, generosity or more, be firm, be polite, be final about it. You can gently put your foot down without destroying the other person. Let the person know you have boundaries you won’t allow to be violated.

There are people who have no regard. Still, you should treat them fairly and with kindness. Speak only to bless, heal and prosper. Don’t let them get to you. Your attitude and behavior in the worst situation is a reflection of your character. Seek the higher pathway.

Your character builds reputation. Your reputation as a friend or business person will precede you. It is obvious you want to be known as the best friend, the most reliable, honest, trustworthy, easy to do business with business person. That will be of great help to you.

No – Is A Complete Sentence  – Give Respect And Get Respect

Napoleon Hill stated he had three walls. An outer wall that was low and had a few doors in it many people could access. Not everyone but many. The next wall was higher with one door in it. Far fewer were allowed entry. Only necessary people got admitted in.

The last wall was very high and only a handful could gain access at times. This was his metaphor for prioritizing his time, and energy and maintaining privacy. People could gain access depending how closely they were associated with to him or how important it was.

It is necessary to maintain your own boundaries. You shouldn’t have to fight to preserve them. Know when to say no and when not to. Pick your battles wisely. You don’t always have to be all things to all people. I simply want you to understand this. You are important.

Boundaries Are Normal Healthy And Necessary

Nurture and take care of and love yourself. Appreciate others and appreciate yourself. Respect yourself. Then others will too. If you aren’t egotistical, if you don’t flaunt it and are not a snob, but are confident, well-adjusted with a sense of humor and self respect others will respect and like you all the more. Be authentic. Be kind and be grateful. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Take care of yourself, today!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Attitude, Communicating, Overcoming Difficulty, Rapport

How To Get What You Want During Disagreements

2 Comments

horizons-icebound-phil-koch

“We return to ‘How To Get People To Do What You Want’ and how to influence others, personally and professionally, positively. How to get more yeses. A favorite person of mine Cheri Tree, speaks the truth. Have ever heard the following statement?

‘In order to get more yeses you gotta get more nos.’ Have you heard that? Get enough nos and you will eventually get a yes. I know I have. For decades I embraced that thought as well. Cheri says bull. ‘In order to get more yeses you gotta get yeses!’ I love it. It is so true.

I have been sharing in these pages exactly how to get more yeses. The principles and practices  for enabling you to do exactly that and much more. You want to evolve yourself into the kind of person for whom others can most easily say yes to. That is your personal task!

What Is Most Important To You – Getting Along Or Agreement

Become a person people like and want to do things for. Go the extra mile. Respect others if you want respect back. Right, you are following along on these concepts, correct? If you are then you know you must respect others needs, wants, time, money and energy.

You must respect their boundaries. Don’t cross them. Move no faster than the other person moves is a way to think about it. Follow their lead for awhile. You will get an opportunity to lead too. It is called pacing and leading and you must learn to do both and when.

For now, keep in mind, you want to respect their boundaries and do not violate them. If they don’t want to talk about something then don’t! Get it? You want to make them feel at ease. Put them at ease and let them know they can trust you. Then they absolutely will.

In The Middle Of Difficulty There Is Opportunity – Be Open Find It

On the other hand  there are times when you may have to cut your losses. You may have to walk away, politely, with a promise to resume at another time. As long as the ball is in your court you can determine what to do. Just do it in a respectful and friendly way.

If you maintain respect and friendliness you almost never burn bridges. Truth be told, you never want to burn a bridge, so do whatever you can to maintain it. In the meantime, unless one of those rare times surfaces,  stay open and stay flexible.

Keep adjusting and continuing to work toward understanding, connection and agreement, even if you agreement is to disagree. Remember, the relationship is important. Keep your purpose in mind. Why are you communicating in the first place?

Are You Strong And Big EnoughTo Overcome Disagreement

What is it you want? What do you want in the big picture? How do you create win/wins so all parties get what each wants? What do you have to do and keep doing in order to maintain rapport, trust and the relationship when you disagree? You must respectfully negotiate.

I’ll continue this discussion on boundaries in next blog. Meanwhile, understand there are times when things don’t go your way. Don’t get flustered, get centered. Stay open and available. Remain calm and collected. Gather your inner and out resources. Remain true.

Remain true to you and to higher principles. Be authentic. In the larger scheme of things how does this all fit in? If you don’t get what you want today what else will you do? How important is it? Ask yourself questions that support you in moving ahead in positively.

It Is Normal To Disagree – Can You Maintain Your Relationship

What do you have in common? What do you like about this person? How can you better understand what is important to them? How can you more effectively listen? How can you create better rapport and understanding? What can you do to enjoy communicating better?

Direct your mind toward positive outcomes by asking questions to guide you. Really ask yourself and listen quietly for the answers. Don’t allow yourself to be rushed. Stop, drop and breath! Drop everything, let go, breath and allow the answers to come to you.

Discover what there is to appreciate about your relationship. Access those feelings of gratitude. Emphasize the positive qualities and diminish differences and disagreement. Accentuate the positive! Feel the gratitude. Feel the blessings! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Today, nurture yourself and others!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Attitude, Awareness, Beliefs, Overcoming Difficulty

How To Have Fewer Problems And More Joys

Leave a comment

horizons-crashing-surf-phil-koch

“In my last post I pointed out that agitation is good. After all it is a part of life. It benefits us and we can use it that way. I pointed out you don’t need to seek it nor should you avoid it. Rather, embrace it and be thankful for the opportunity to grow and develop.

Be bigger than your problems and challenges. Learn to speak of them differently. Consider them situations rather than obstacles, problems or challenges. If you say, ‘there is a challenge’ you are affirming it as something challenging.

Please understand this. It is always as you think and say it is! Perception is everything. If it is a difficulty in your mind and you say as much, you keep locking it in. You keep on perpetuating it. Instead, reframe it as, a situation or an opportunity, or even a blessing.

Be Careful What You Plant You May Have To Eat It One Day

Say, ‘a situation has come up’. ‘There is a new opportunity before me’. There are many variations you can use. Remember your attitude determines your altitude. If you label something a problem it is one, at least in your mind, at least for you. Get it? Do you?

Stop calling things as troubles or bad events. Come to see them as opportunities with benefits that may not be obvious yet. Speak only to bless, heal and prosper. Speak and focus only on what you want and not what you don’t want. Speak how you want the future to be.

Stop affirming troubles and start affirming all the good in life. It will work out. Eventually, it will so begin now to affirm that. You don’t know how yet, but trust that it will. The more you focus on the issue as a problem the more you attract problem thinking and problems.

Thoughts And Words Are Seeds – Be Careful What You Plant

Remember, you get what you focus on. That is why reframing, letting go, embracing the opportunity and celebrating with gratitude is transformative. Let go of it being a problem and embrace it as a situation or circumstances that contains a seed of opportunity.

The benefit will be revealed as you successfully negotiate it. As you stay open to possibilities and affirm the good around you  you are more likely to see the possibilities. The more gratitude and celebratory you are the more of these good things you get back.

The more you will find. I have discussed in other posts this ability of your brain. The Reticular Activating System (RAS) looks for matches in your experience for what you hold in your mind. What you think and say, determines much of what you find in the outer world.

What You Say Is What You Get – You Create Your Reality

What you are focused on, what is important to you, you begin noticing. It was always there you just couldn’t and didn’t see it. Like when you spot other model cars like the one you just bought. Birds of a feather flock together.

The energy you put into it is the energy returned to you. I prefer positive energy returning to me. How about you? Energy flows where your attention goes. If it goes into trouble then troubles remain or return. If it goes into blessings then you get that back.

Consider feeling blessed no matter what happens. It is what it IS. We never have enough information to know what it truly is or what it all means. Therefore, consider yourself blessed and have faith, trust that ultimately everything all works out for greater good. It does!

What Precisely Are You Affirming Only Create What You Want To

Be optimistic. Even if the ‘difficulties’ remain a while you are better equipped to navigate ‘troubled waters’ with a positive, optimistic attitude. A negative attitude isn’t going to help you. A defeated attitude doesn’t provide benefit. A poor attitude gets poor results.

A champion’s attitude will see you through. Feel blessed. If you learn how to feel blessed no matter what occurs, NO MATTER WHAT, you are transformed. Life becomes incredible. It is you who will have changed. When you change the circumstances don’t really matter.

You matter! Please understand this. It is up to you! Gratitude and feeling blessed is the difference that makes the difference. From within to without. From above so below. Live in deep appreciation for everything and every moment is blissful. You will find a profound, deep inner joy. That is why I remind each of us, everyday, to celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Attitude, Blessings, Gratitude, Overcoming Difficulty

More Crap? I Don’t Need This! How Can I Handle More Crap?

Leave a comment

horizons-depth-phil-koch

“The events of yesterday has kept us busy. A lot is going on revolving around it. That is normal but it is easy to forget that lots of other things are going on too. 99.5 % of what happens in life is good. That is worth remembering. Focus on the good. Be grateful. Enjoy it!

Today, while working dealing with the event things I needed to get some holiday food shopping done. I did some banking and drove to a grocery store. Went in, came out, tried to drive away. I didn’t get as far as the exit driveway when I realized I had a flat tire. I pulled over.

It was snowing some. The parking lot very busy. I drove the car over to a side lane, out of the way as much as I could get and put on the emergency flashers. My first thoughts were along the lines of ‘crap, I don’t need this.’ It was very brief and I laughed. Then I realized.

Life Is Like A Camera Lens Focus Only On What Is Important

Of course, I don’t, but perhaps I do. Who can actually say what is needed? Perhaps, this is exactly what is needed. I don’t know. I then thought, ‘okay bring it. I can handle this. It doesn’t matter what is going on, where I might need to be, the holidays, nothing. It is okay.’

‘I am bigger than my problems. Bring it on. Thank you’. Whatever is going on will work out for good. Now, a flat isn’t that big of a deal but in my past, I have been pretty aggravated over getting one. I called for a tow. Normally, a lengthy on the phone process was short today.

I was told a truck would be there within an hour. That was good. Normally, they tell me 45 minutes unless there are other circumstances. I sat in the car for about 20 minutes feeling grateful and knowing some good ultimately will come of this. Watching snow.

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff – It Is All Small Stuff

I got out. Went back into the store, told them, that car with the flashers on is mine, I am waiting for a tow, incase someone complained. My phone rings. The tow truck arrived and is at my car. Less than 20 minutes later I am on the road. Donut spare on the car.

I call the tire company from the road and tell them. They say they can’t promise anything but will try to work me in. Bring the car by. I attempt to notify others and it occurs to me I can drop the tire and have it fixed and later return with the car for them to put it on.

We do. I chat with gentleman at repair store. I leave, go home. Unload groceries. I had just bought set of four within the month. Actually, I bought eight within eleven months. I’d had trouble with the other brand of tires and just replaced them all. The store closed.

Life Can Be Hard Sometimes We Make It Harder Than It Actually Is

They still have the tire. I am mobile. I got a call with a bad news good news which do you want first. Turns out tire can’t be repaired. They don’t have one in stock BUT they can get one and the tire will be replaced for free. Good deal. Tomorrow my tire should be fixed.

Meanwhile, I am mobile and they don’t have my car over night. So what is good? Who knows? Why did it happen? Who knows? I don’t care. What does it mean? Again, don’t have a clue? BUT it is okay. AND I didn’t lose it. I was calm, centered and actually grateful.

Everything seemed to happen much more quickly than normal. Was that because I was and am grateful? I don’t know. People are faced with difficulties all day long. We had a pretty big ‘not so glorious experience’ yesterday. How would I rate this one? Not so bad, really.

Dreams Can Come True – Expect The Best – Say What You Want

In contrast, very minor. However, in my past this might have been the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Even though the event isn’t a big deal, it’s a flat, I may have stressed about it and complained about it and been mad about it. You know what I mean, right?

Today, I could laugh and it didn’t get to me. Yesterday, while serious and not what anyone might call a good thing was a good thing. How? I don’t know fully, yet? Already, however I am seeing evidences of how it is. It has been an amazing couple of days. And 99.5% is good.

Attitude does make an incredible difference. I am not suggesting I never stress out. I am sharing with you my responses over the past two days.  Life is good. I love my life. Shit happens. I still love my life. The more I do the better it gets. Shit may still happen. It is all okay.

Happiness Is A Decision – You Get To Choose Each Moment

I continue learn and realize to it isn’t about what happens. It is all about how I respond to what happens and how I take charge of myself. I can be in charge of me but I can’t control the externals. I don’t actually want to anyway. The more I am grateful the better it is.

The externals will be whatever they will be. My creation, my attraction, predestined or haphazardly random. It will be as it will be. I have learned it is what it is. However, I can adjust and continue. I can call the moment whatever I want. What I say IS what I get.

If I call it bad then it is. If I call it good then it is. Others may or may not agree, but for me, it is what I say it is. I am not making rules for others either. Their declarations determine their experiences. If I can share anything, a learning, it is be grateful. Love it all. Embrace it.

Live Simply – Dream Big – Be Grateful – Give Love – Laugh Lots

Everything does change with gratitude. It doesn’t mean magically you get a new tire. Perhaps, it does. I mean yes, maybe it does sometimes or all the times. You decide. I know living with gratitude for everything is transformational. It changes ME! I determine my experience. I love my life. 99.5% is good. That is where I choose to focus. You can too. Let’s celebrate everything! Rex Sikes

Create a blessed day for yourself!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Blessings, Intentional Thinking, Love, Overcoming Difficulty, Trust

Understanding The Unthinkable When It Happens To You

2 Comments

horizons-life-is-a-highway-phil-koch

“What do you do when ‘bad’ things happen? Is there a correct way to respond? Why do these things happen anyway? Have you ever asked yourself these questions? Tragedy struck close to me today. Someone I love was savagely brutalized. 911 was called. Horrible!

I won’t go into it much. An attack occurred. Cries for help heard. Authorities called. 2 hours later they had still not showed up. I, and others ,we called and did. Another 2 hours went by. Authorities finally showed after repeated calls insisting they get there.

Once they arrived they were surly, agitated the victim more than assisted, and left without word. I and another, accompanied our loved one to the ER. We spent 7 more hours. 6 hours after we arrived and only after repeated phone calls did authorities arrived.

Just When Caterpillar Thought It Is All Over It Became A Butterfly

Physically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually my dear one was brutalized, left and abandoned by the system, neglected, treated callously by responders who left job undone. Only,  later did they appear after calls to supervisors. Sad, tough day for all involved.

I am fine. Someone else is not. Few will understand what I next say but, I am the eye of the storm. I am calm and centered regardless of what happens. That is how my day is. I know and trust that ultimately good will come of this. It always does. No matter what.

It may not work out to anyone’s satisfaction. It could get worse. I haven’t a clue how it will work out but that isn’t for me to know. I simply trust that it will. I know it has for many and it always has for me. My darkest days turned out to be my greatest blessings.

People Who Truly Care About Each Other Can Make It Work

I am sorry this happened. I’m glad it wasn’t worse. I’m disappointed with the people who are paid to help in crisis. I am happy that finally one benevolent supervisor listened and did his job. One person made some things happen when no one else would. I thanked him!

So positive thoughts and feelings and energy I send when I think of this dear one who was wounded today. I could go on in many different directions about the event, what it means, what could be, what should have been, but none of that is important. None of it.

What’s important is my loved one get love and support and understanding during a terrifically trying time. Besides the physical assault and battery, the feelings of betrayal, fear of dying, shock, anger, justice, revenge, sadness, abandonment all raging at once.

The Best Lessons Are Often Learned In The Worst Of Times

A real shoulder to cry or lean on and an actual ear to listen is what is needed. Love, understanding, patience, compassion, positive kind energy and acceptance is offered. Healing will happen but first there’s some important grieving stages the loved one to go through.

Yet, I know we are blessed. It may not seem like it to some readers. I first and foremost am thankful it wasn’t worse. I am so grateful my dear one is alive. I am so grateful for that! Tough, it may be but we all can get through it. I am truly fine. Someone else is not. BUT can be.

Will be. Eventually no matter how long it takes. Obviously, I prefer soon; as soon as possible. I know many learnings will come from this. Some hard lessons, and others not so difficult, to face. We are all blessed no matter how it turns out. And I do celebrate this.

During Our Darkest Moments We Must Focus To See The Light

Not the act. Not the terrible things that occurred but rather the opportunity to heal, to grow and evolve, to learn and go beyond what we knew. To deepen our relationships and our own spiritual practices. I am deeply thankful for this opportunity. It is all okay!

What is IS. What happened happened.  It’s okay. I can’t change it so how I live with it is important. How each of us affected learns to live with it is important. I stay positive that we all will be better off in the long run. Somewhere in all this there is a truly a silver or gold lining.

There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes, however, you are so deep into the tunnel you don’t see the light at the other end. Know it is there. Know this too will pass. Keep moving forward and you will find it. Tomorrow will be another day. Be patient.

Life Is 10% What Happens To You And 90% How You Respond

I share this because it is what it is. I share it because while it is an awful ordeal it doesn’t impinge on my spirit or on me or the gladness I feel. 99.5 percent of everything in our life is good. This is one horrible event. We will live on focused on the good 99.5. So yes, I do celebrate everything. We can. You can. All of us can. So go ahead and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Find 1% good and make it 100% good today!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Act As If, Attitude, Creating The Future, Overcoming Difficulty

Develop Your Resolve And You Can Do Anything!

Leave a comment

horizon-barren-phil-koch

“Whatever positive change you want to make in your life you can do it. You are in this world for a reason. You must determine what that reason is. Frickin’ make it up if you have to but decide you are going to live the life of your dreams. Decide you will make it happen.

You don’t have to hurt anyone or take anything from anyone to do it. You can make it begin to happen right now with what you have and what you don’t. The first change on the road to success is your mindset more than anything else. Once that is right things change.

Attitude is everything, It really is! Guinness Record breakers wouldn’t be if they didn’t, at the very least, think they could go for it. At the VERY least they decided to ‘try’ and give it a shot. Get it? You have to start with the knowledge that I can do this. I can learn how.

Work Through Things – Face Up To Them – This Makes You Strong

I am capable of learning. I am going to do whatever positive and beneficial things I can to shape my life the way I want it. I let go of thoughts of defeat. I think of victory. I am not interested in what I cannot do but what I can do. I don’t care what the problems are.

I want to know what the solutions are. I shall prevail as I awaken to the opportunities I are missed out on because of past fears. I will move forward courageously step by step adjusting and continuing along the way as necessary. I will be unstoppable in my quest.

I will look around and notice any challengeI face is not the end of the world. I can handle anything thrown at me. Each day is the beginning of a new day. Challenging, yes perhaps. Perhaps, more difficult than anything I have ever faced and I saw ‘bring it’. BRING IT ON!

Resolve To Be A Master Of Change Rather Than The Victim Of It

I know in challenges, and what appears to be defeat, are learning and opportunities to further grow and develop. Muscles grow through resistance and challenges are a normal part of my development. I meet challenges with resolve. I move forward because of them.

I live courageously and fully. When situations arise that might be tough I make the best of it. The world has always faced troublesome times and troublesome people. I can too. I am focusing my thoughts and my efforts on creating my life the way I want it to be. I am! I can!

I will support others and allow others to support me. I will help others and enlist the aid of others as necessary. We can all be more successful and happy when we work together and uplift each other. I will keep my mind positive and focused. If I fall I get back up. I do!

Commit To Making Each Day The Very Best – Control Your Destiny

That is just the kind of person I am. I learn and I grow with each step I take. I am grateful for the opportunity to begin to realize my power and my purpose. The more I do the the more I can do. Drop by drop fills the tub. Eventually I will get there because I am making it happen. I love my life and I appreciate and celebrate everything!”

Be filled with gratitude today!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Acceptance, Overcoming Difficulty, Responsibility, Self Improvement

The Surest Signal You Are Ready For A Change

2 Comments

horizons-the-cabbage-patch-phil-koch

“The surest signal you are ready to change is discomfort. Why discomfort? You might ask. Well, when you are feeling uncomfortable  you seek to feel comfortable again. Don’t you? Yes, you do. Humans try to maintain comfort at nearly all costs.

When you are outside of your zone if feels UNcomfortable.  What is really going on is your subconscious, while trying to preserve your comfort, is telling you that you need to change something. Your feelings are the signal, they are clues, you need to make a change.

When you are comfortable there isn’t any resistance. When you are growing or pushing the envelop there is some push back. If everything is cushy, then, suddenly uncomfortable, or you feel negative or sad, or angry, you are getting a message to change.

Your Heart Knows Things Your Mind Cant Explain

If everything were okay you wouldn’t feel discomfort. Would you? You’d feel as if everything was fine. So then discomfort IS the signal that something is amiss! Stop fighting the signal. Accept it. Seek to change the cause of the signal. Correct that and continue.

This is wonderful. The good news is you have a system that signals you when you need to make a change. Learn to recognize when you are being signaled. You are being called to action. Your non-conscious self is alerting you so you can make adjustments.

Hooray, celebrate you no longer have to be stuck the way you are. You get a message delivered from your self that you need to change some things. The discomfort is alerting you so you CAN change your thinking because your thoughts determines how you feel.

Trust Your Gut It Knows What Your Head Hasn’t Figured Out

Change your thinking and your feeling and your actions change. Change your thinking for the better and get better results. That is how it works. Challenge, discomfort, struggle is really an opportunity to be and do thing differently. Do you understand?

If you always do what you always did you will always get what you always got. You wouldn’t grow and evolve. Think of struggle and challenge and pain as growth spurts. Those can be uncomfortable but it IS because you are growing and evolving. Embrace change.

Embrace the discomfort and you will go through it more quickly. Accept it. Allow it. Learn whatever lesson is there for you to learn. Be glad. Feel blessed. Express gratitude. When you do you are bigger than your problems and can manage them more readily. You evolve quicker. So celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

How much delight can you create today?

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Focus, Overcoming Difficulty, Positive Thinking, Responsibility

Stop Acting Like Your Tongue. Just Stop It!

Leave a comment

horizons-the-path-to-reclusivity-phil-koch

“I am going to share a small event that happened today. However, there is a large lesson that can be learn. The event is an analogy for how we approach difficulties and what we can and must do instead if we’d like to get over them. If you want your life to change, then, you must change things in your life. That is how it works.

This morning, at breakfast, I broke my tooth. It must have been a cap. I don’t recall having any front teeth capped but while chewing I noticed something gritty and stopped to extract what appeared to be a tiny piece of bone or tooth. It might be a tooth and not a cap. All I know for certain is there’s a dentist in my future.

At first I thought it was something in my food. I decided to run a check.I ran my tongue along the bottoms of my top teeth and didn’t notice anything, at first. I sipped some coffee and then noticed my lip felt funny. I ran my tongue over the front of my teeth and felt a gap. A large one! It is sharp and can scrap my tongue.

When You Focus On Problems You’ll Have More Problems

It doesn’t hurt but it is scratchy to my tongue. Plus, the area along the gum line actually scraps the inside of my upper lip high up. When I run my tongue over my teeth it is sharp, scrapping and uncomfortable. I am missing a tooth. Still, I have all my other teeth that are fine, smooth and work perfectly well.

All my other teeth are fine. This is my point. Too often, we focus on what isn’t there. We look at what we don’t have. We notice what is missing. What is wrong. We concentrate on a problem. We examine it from all sides just as our tongue searches and explores our mouth when something is amiss. We keep at it too over and over.

When things are right we don’t nearly notice at all. We don’t pay attention or express much gratitude that we have everything is fine. Even when we have a problem or problems we focus on those and miss all the other things that are right and good. Our focus is disproportionate to what it. Yes, we have problems. We do.

When You Focus On Possibilities You’ll Have More Opportunities

But most everything else is fine. Just as there are crappy weather days most of the days are pleasant. Yes, there are atrocious acts committed by bad people but there is MORE good and right that goes unnoticed and unappreciated. I have more teeth that are perfectly fine but one that broke. Which gets more attention?

And there you have it! We have all this things that are going well and are good in our lives that we don’t pay attention too. Instead we focus on what is wrong, broken, missing our lacking. You know the sad thing about all this, don’t you. We get what we focus on. We become what we think about most.

What we think about we bring about. What we hold in our head we will someday hold in our hand. We end up creating and attracting more of the same of WHATEVER it is we focus on. That is how it works Energy flows where attention goes. Water weeds or flowers they both grow. The one that grows is the one you nourish.

What You Focus On Expands – Choose What You Focus On

We spend time watering the weeds. We get bad results because we nurture the negative. Worry is just negatively planning for your future to suck. Yet, just like our tongues that is what we probe and explore and search out and find. We wallow in crap and get covered in it. We roll in it, bath in it and then complain about it.

All our moaning and whining and complaining and blaming and excusing brings more of the same. We are putting energy into our problems and misfortune. Instead of deciding to create what we want we live as if we have no other choice. We have choices even when we don’t feel we do. We do and we ought to begin to act like it.

Focus on what you do have that works. Focus on the teeth that are there and work well. Pay attention and concentrate on that which is good, positive and working well. Let go of what isn’t working. Focus on what does work. Remember, what you focus on expands. What you think about you become. Focus on the positive things.

Focus On What You Want To Create – Set Positive Intentions

Drop the negativity and focus on the good you can be. Focus on the good you can do do and the good you have. Draw your attention to what you can be thankful for. Feel grateful! Fill yourself with positive emotions and wonderful feelings. Stop looking for what is wrong. Stop looking at what is wrong. You already noticed it.

Stop dwelling on what sucks and start dwelling on what is great. This IS how you will make your life different and better. If you want your life to change YOU HAVE TO CHANGE things in your life. Change what you put energy into. Withdraw yours. Starve the problems and feed the solutions. Learn to control your mind.

Focus on what is right! Celebrate what you already have to be thankful for. Really get into appreciating all the other stuff you normally don’t bother to notice. Notice the good. Notice it! Take inventory. Catalog it. Embrace it. Feel it! Delight in it. Do it now! Learn that your life can and will be different when you celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Feel good  today!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!