Category Archives: Habit Formation

Happiness Is A Choice! What Are You Choosing?

you are entirely up to you

Yes, you can be happy 100% of the time when you choose to be happy. It is a decision. It is a choice. You can chose not to be happy at any given moment. Everything is up to you. You are the decision maker.

Most people think it is up to others or to circumstances or the world or to God. People give their power and their choice away. Every single moment of every single day you have the choice how to respond. Whether you use your power or not is completely up to you.

Most people only react because much of their lives are spent not realizing WHO has the choice. They think and behave from patterned, habitual ways. So even though they have choice it appears to them as if they do not. They don’t realize that they actually do so they don’t act as if they do. Perception is everything! If you think you are powerless you are. If you believe you can make a difference you can!

Since they don’t act as a person with the power to choose they let other things, people, situations and events  determine how the moment will be. They let the outside determine how they feel inside.

In essence, they give their power away. Others or other things make the choices for them. Then they either accept it willingly or unwillingly. They feel at the mercy of ‘the universe’ or ‘luck’ and they blame something or someone for what happens in their lives.

you can master anything w self control

This is how many people live but it need not be this way. We can get free. We can make changes. We can live powerfully and positively!

In order to ‘get free’  we need to begin to be able to challenge some closely held assumptions and chronic beliefs. We need to interrupt patterns and habits and begin to exercise our choice muscle. We need to begin to take 100% responsibility for ourselves and our lives.

We need to stop putting the power outside of ourselves. We have to stop blaming others and external circumstances and begin to act as the captain of our own life and steer our life where we want it to go. If you want to be happy more of the time you have to chose to be happy. We need to shift our focus from what is outside ourselves to what we do on the inside. We need to shift focus. It begins with our thoughts.

we cant direct the wind

Nothing external  to us actually makes us happy  but it does seem that way.  Nothing will make us feel confident, worthwhile or valued from the outside. We think if we have the right car, the right house, the right income, or if people say the right things to us we will be happy but happiness, feeling valued, worthwhile  and secure is a choice that comes 100% from within. It begins within each of us.

When you ‘get it’ that you can actually be happy and feel wonderful  ANYTIME and ANYPLACE  YOU choose, regardless of what the external circumstances or situations may be, is the moment when you begin to become free. It is at that moment life becomes the life of your making and your design. Sure, things happen to us but the response is ours alone.

Never blame yourself for unwanted responses or for reacting in certain ways because that is resistance and what you resist you give strength to. As you begin to live a new way the old way attempts to pull you back. That is because of the habits and patterns you akready have. It is okay they served you. They have been a resource at times and at other times a limitation. So don’t fight them. You will move forward faster if you accept them and appreciate them while practicing behaving in the new ways.

two options any moment step forward or

Ultimately, as you practice new ways the new habits will take hold. Be patient and love yourself through it all. In my last post I pointed out that while learning a new route to your new home or job you may occasionally find yourself traveling to the old place of work or residence. That happens.  Its okay!

Ultimately you travel only the new route UNLESS you decide to go back and travel the old at some time. Now you have the new route becoming wired in and you can choose to travel the old route. You have a choice. In the same way the new thoughts, feelings and behaviors take hold and replace the old ones. You will develop your positive habits to replace the old ones.

When you don’t think or behave as you hope to. Simply recognize that you did not think, feel or behave as you have liked.  Note it, forgive yourself, (make amends with others if you have hurt them, do the right thing) accept yourself, and accept that you are learning to do new things that are not perfected yet. Everyone makes mistakes, that is okay it is all part of living. Move on.

When you first begin practicing ‘having choice’ you will encounter moments when you become aware that a decision can be made instead of only reacting.  Some of these moments you will blow right past. Again, that is okay! Recognize these as moments you want to respond differently to in the future. Awareness is one of the first steps in the process.

what you think about you bring about

There will be another opportunity to chose again in the near future. Meanwhile, utilize mental rehearsal. Imagine making the new choices. Think and see yourself behaving as you want to in the future. Visualize your successes. See yourself making the choices and responding the way you want to. Visualize repeatedly! You want to send strong, clear, precise messages to your unconscious mind that in these  moments these are the behaviors you want.

Imagine already having the new choices and behaviors and watch yourself choose the new ways. If it feels good you are on the right track. If something feels amiss make positive adjustments until you do feel good as you imagine the new future you. Rehearse your successes.

Athletes, actors, musicians, and others all understand the value of mental and physical rehearsal or practice to wire in the skills and behaviors you want to encourage, SO practice. You will get better as you do. Practice making choices! Practice being in charge! Practice living as a victor and being the captain of your own life!” Rex Sikes

Delight another and you delight yourself!

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How To Stop Unwanted Habits That Prevent Your Success

whatever we plant in our subconscious

Everything we do we do as a result of habits and patterns. Brain scientists tell us that most everything we think and do today we did the day before and the days before that. Situations may come and go, the world changes, but for the most part we react the same way or similarly most, if not, all of the time. We are already on automatic and have limited choices.

Your acceptance or reluctance to accept this notion is based on your habitual thinking. What you believe about yourself, others and the world are patterns of thought you most likely have maintained for a very long time and you may not even be sure how you came to think this way. It is estimated we think at least 60,000 thoughts a day and upwards of 60% of those are the same thoughts we thought the day before. We are habitual and routine.

This is a great thing! It is also an area of difficulty for some of us. If our habits developed and we feel wonderful and productive and filled with well-being then they serve us. If on the other hand we feel down, bored, sad, mad or unable to get ahead they seem to work against us.

The definition of insanity, you may recall, is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. We can’t continue doing the same things habitually while hoping the end result will be different. That is insane. The good news is we can develop new habits that serve us and that work automatically and reliably to help bring us the good results we desire. We can definitely learn to acquire these new beneficial habits. Keep this in mind: We can acquire new habits!

It is simple!  It is easy enough! It does require some effort.  You do have to engage the new process and do it as often and  for as long as it takes to wire it in. Not everyone is willing to do this but if you want to you can develop reliable positive new ones.

Repetition is what builds the muscle in exercise and it is the mechanism by which we do most everything. If you moved to a new house or got a new job do you recall that sometimes you may have discovered yourself taking the old route to the old home or place of work? You did that because it was a habit.

you will see it when you believe it

You knew you were going to the new place but somewhere you realized you had headed back to the old place. In time, by repeatedly traveling the new route to the new home or work you got used to it. After awhile the new route became second nature and you no longer went the old way. It became wired in. It became the new habit. You now went to the new place automatically!

You didn’t have to effort a whole lot you just had to take the new route. Whenever you discovered yourself going the old way you made adjustments and went the new way. It wasn’t that difficult and soon enough the new way replaced the old way.

The same thing happens as we develop positive habits in our thinking, our feeling and our behaviors. There is a tendency and a pull to do things the old way but in time and through repetitive practice you get the hang of the new way. The key is sticking with it long enough for the new way to take hold. If you give up and quit the new possibilities will never take hold.

Much depends on your commitment and enthusiasm and  the reasons why you want to develop new ways of thinking, being and behaving. Your motivation determines how much and how far you will go. The good news is that while the beginning may be slow and take a little time after awhile you do develop a momentum. You will begin to experience the good results you desire. The new results replace the old ways and work automatically. Great news don’t you think?

Consider this. You plant a seed and give it time to grow by waiting patiently. When the seed breaks ground as a young plant you nurture it along. You give it what it needs to mature.  You do the same thing to develop new habits of thought, feeling and behavior. Give your new thoughts, feelings and behaviors the time and opportunity to develop as habits and they will. Your new better, positive, productive habits will take hold and grow strong. This is just the way it works!

We will discuss this more in depth. I suggest you also go back through the blog and re-read posts again and again. That repetition is important! Just as you feed yourself food on a daily basis for the body you should feed yourself positive, inspirational, motivational food for the heart, soul and the mind. Use this blog, inspirational books and audios too. Your car is a great place to listen. Fill your being up!

habits formed by acts and broken by contrary acts

Fill yourself with the best thoughts and feelings. Even a little bit each day is better than none. Make this part of your daily regime and it will become a habit. The more you do the more you can do. Skill comes from doing. Repeat the good things you want more of and you will get them!

You can develop positive powerful habits that serve you and move you forward towards everything you want in life and you can absolutely break and replace old habits that hold you back. You just have to decide that you are going to! Then do what it takes. Inch your way there if you want to but do something each day in your own best interests and before long you will see good results.

If you really want to do something you will find a way. If you don’t want to do something you will find the excuses. Every day can be a glorious wonderful day regardless of what comes along to try to spoil it. You can learn how to respond instead of react automatically. Soon the ability to freely respond becomes a habit to replace the old one.

Anything is possible when you allow for it and do whatever it takes to make it happen.  Learn to live and enjoy life in dynamic new ways. The world is here for you to enjoy and delight in!” Rex Sikes

Rejoice and be glad in this day!

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