Tag Archives: FAith

Maybe Therapy Sucks But You Shouldn’t!

you atract what you focus on

“Alright, you may be offended by the previous blog. Some people may be others won’t be. That is ok. Everyone is entitled to respond however they respond. However you respond says more about you and what are your concerns are than is about my blog.

If you have read my blogs or followed my discussions for years you know I make the case that two people can go and watch the same movie side by side. When they exit one loved it the other hated it. Neither opinion has anything to do with the actual movie. This, of course, you already realize.

Who Is In Charge Of Your Brain

Their response to the movie has everything to do with their mindset, their expectations, their values, their experience of and during the movie. It is a comment about what they like or don’t like and has nothing to do with the movie at all.

It only seems to have something to do with the movie. After all is said and done it is their opinions. Professional movie critics simply provide their opinions and nothing else. You may see the movie and agree or wholly disagree with them. The movie is the movie – whether you like it or not IS YOUR REACTION or YOUR RESPONSE to the movie.

This applies to everything else in life. Life happens and we react to it or we respond to it. The key to success IS learning to respond rather than react. Be in charge of your thoughts. Run your brain don’t let it run you!

I have no monopoly on “truth’. I do not profess to. My opinion is not able to encompass every example and counter example in the world so I don’t try to. Still, you have to be above the yard stick in order to see both ends. What does that mean, Rex? It means, you have to have enough distance from the topic to see both ends or all sides.

Remember, every coin has more than one face. A diamond is multi faceted. No article or speech or book can encompass everything about the subject. So while trying to be fair I don’t try to encompass everything. That would be futile. I assume my readers are smart enough to know this. And you are.

Many Roads Lead To Rome Travel Well

Okay, it may have upset some of you (YOU)  that I said therapy sucks. My article, the point, the premise, theme, the thesis, remains exactly the same if you remove any and all reference to therapy from it. Forget therapy altogether. Take it completely out and read the article. Same with this article. In case, this fine point has eluded you.

The article is about you! The article is about me! The article is about the locus of control. It  had far less to do with therapy than with getting you to think about where you attribute the source of your suffering and the source of your resourcefulness. It is about whether or not you are ‘at cause’ or ‘at effect’.

Frankly, it only had to do with therapy to the extent that some practice that form too. Most people do it already in their everyday lives. Most people haven’t been in therapy. TAKE everything I said about therapy out and the article is the same article.

In my life it is me. It is Rex. ‘I’ am responsible. No one and nothing else  in my life but me. I am 100% responsible for my thoughts, my suffering and my bliss. I am the creator in and of my life circumstances. I am responsible for where I lay blame for problems.

You Alone Are 100% Responsible For Enjoying Your Journey

Either I put it on me or I put it onto others or on circumstances. I say the blame, I mean the buck. The buck lands squarely on my shoulders and my shoulders alone. NO ONE and NO THING else! I am 100% the creator of my life and responsible for my thoughts, feelings, behaviors and results. The buck stops with me.

EVEN if this is not completely an accurate representation of reality. Maybe there is an outer world that influences. I am not asserting that I am god if I say I create all of my experience so please don’t go there. I am saying a useful platform to work from is to adopt the notion that everything is up to me EVEN if it actually isn’t.

Consider Victor Frankl. Think about being imprisoned. Someone may take my liberty away. I may not be able to control that BUT I can control my response to a very disagreeable situation.

I can make it the best situation possible given the circumstances. I may be able to celebrate and remain totally free in mind and experience freedom even when incarcerated. This is what control means. This is what focus means. It means make the best of everything because you are in charge. When life gives you lemons…

It can either suck terribly or it can be incredible. YOU, ME our thoughts about it, our response to it, determines how we go through it. NOTHING ELSE DOES! Frankl wrote about this in ‘Man’s Search For Meaning’ if you have not read it you may want to.

Make The Most Of Your Circumstances

So when I say I blame myself I don’t mean I blame.  I mean I am willing to take responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, responses, actions and behaviors. I take responsibility for the results I get.

Millionaires are made during bad economies. While some are whining and blaming the banks, their jobs, the government, and others for a tough time some people are happily making money. It isn’t the outer circumstances it is what you think about the outer circumstances that makes the difference! From within so without!

It isn’t about blaming and criticizing oneself rather it is about learning who is in charge and doing whatever it takes to be in charge. Instead of blaming oneself for shortcomings celebrate the awareness! When you notice the heat, the hurt, the suffering, the fear or anger celebrate the awareness.

Then shift your attention so that you productively use your awareness to evolve. For god sakes don’t get mired down in self criticism. That leads no where fast. Celebrate! Give yourself praise and encouragement for noticing what wasn’t working and put your attention on what works. Focus on what you CAN DO instead of whining about what you can’t do.

The bottom line. If you think my post is crap and I am wrong that is absolutely fine with me. IF you prefer to focus on what doesn’t work and where you are weak so be it. You think you should work on your weaknesses and improve on those. Go for it.

Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude – Your Belief Determine What You Do – What You Think And Do Determines Your Results

You think you need to uncover the dirt in order to change. OK I get it. I mean this is in no pejorative way. I totally get it. Do whatever you need to do to maintain your status quo. There is room in the world for a variety of approaches and I have no monopoly on truth.

I wrote my article to bring awareness to the issue. I mean no disrespect. You like doing it your way. You like therapy. It is okay to like therapy. There are many approaches I like as well.

When I say the number 1 reason why therapy sucks I mean that IS the number one reason.  I never said all therapy sucks or never go or have therapy. If you read that YOU read that into my post. I didn’t put it there.

I Have Set The Alarm

My words are like an alert signal! I am sounding an alarm. In this day and age I believe rightfully so. There are abuses out there. Just as there are great therapists out there. Consider this; you may argue not all therapy is bad and I should not have said ‘therapy sucks’.

What if we change the premise to ‘all therapy is good’. Is that equally true or are their exceptions, as well? Might you find times and places and practices that are not good? Are there abuses in the field? See nothing is all one way or the other. There is nuance. Am I obliged to find all the ways that therapy wasn’t good then? I think not.

If you want therapy that is fine. Hopefully, having been alerted,  you look for a compassionate good therapist instead of accepting any old therapist. You seek the best approach and the most qualified worker.

BUT AGAIN none of this post or the previous post IS actually about therapy at all. It may still be difficult to understand this! I repeat, it is about where you put the responsibility and the practices and habits you have in life. It is about what you do most frequently during your daily life at work, at play, at home.

If you examine and search for reasons you are broken you will find them. If you look for ways to blame your family, friends, co-workers, yourself or the world you will find them. If you search for talents and abilities you excel at you will find those. If you look for ways to uplift and celebrate others and the world you will find them as well.

Whatever you focus on expands. You become what you think about. What you think about you bring about.

Some concepts are hard to give up. Some concepts are difficult to accept. Some things take time too. Its okay! I get it. Take all the time you need. But know this because it is important.

What You Believe Determines Your Reality

Perception is everything and it truly is. If you think you need to sift through all the troubles from the past in order to come out clean, so be it. Then you have to do that in order to fulfill what you believe; you will do whatever you must to remain internally consistent.

Go do it. But use this as a rule. You become what you think about most of the time. So stay focused on the positive, stay focused on what you want, keep focused on your strengths at least 80% of your time. Use 80/20 as a guide. Actually, I’d prefer 99 to 1% but okay 80 to 20. Most of us live this way anyway.

We can’t be 100% positive (unless we actually can be – that may just be a limiting belief) so any percentage points higher after 50/50 positive/negative is a step in the right direction. 51% positive is moving in the right direction. Keep on moving in the right direction!

Because what you focus on expands, because what you think about you become keep your mind on all the most marvelous aspects of you most of the time. Think the best thoughts. Affirm your positivity. Live in gratitude. Maintain a champion mindset. Live, lough, laugh!

The other 20% of the time, if you feel you want to or must, go ahead and develop your weaknesses. Go ahead and sift through the less than glorious stuff. You can have your cake and eat it too in this regard. You can develop weaknesses there is nothing WRONG in doing that.

Spend 80% Of Your Time Thinking And Feeling Good

Whether or not you resolve past issues during the 20% or whether you skyrocket ahead during the 80% time you focus on the glorious doesn’t matter. You will move forward at whatever the rate and for whatever the reasons because you are devoted to improving.

You may not move as quickly the closer you are to 50/50 because that is how you remain stuck in ok. The more you UP the percentage MORE of the time the MORE likely you are to experience positive changes quicker and more easily. This is because what you spend your time  doing most determines what you get back.

Don’t be upset if you are a fan of therapy. No reason to bristle because I said focusing on shortcomings and negativity is not the best approach for making positive changes.

There is no reason to feel bad unless you insist on feeling bad. There is NO reason to feel bad because of what I write. It isn’t worth upsetting yourself over. The goal is to discover what you can do to live more successfully. Take your control back don’t give me any.

Your mission, should you accept it, is to be the very best you that you can be. Ultimately, when you are happy as you want to be, it won’t matter how you got there so much. As long as how you got there was wonderful for you and the others in your life. Include others in the fun too! I prefer to enjoy the journey along the way.

Make The Major Part Of Your Life The Good Part

Make the major part of your life the good part, the great part, the fun, loving, kind, enjoyable part and you will be surprised at how quickly you can be, do and have everything you want. When most of your hours are filled with love, joy, fun, and delight YOU are already living life in a more meaningful way.

Spend your time in delight, in gratitude and celebration. Appreciate where you came from, all the experiences and people in your life. Everything from the past has brought you to now. Celebrate this!

Appreciate and validate where you are today. Celebrate all. Know that great things are coming in the future and that you will accomplish wonderful things. Good things are now and on he horizon, even if you can not see them yet, good things are coming your way. Let them in!” Rex Sikes

Make up your mind to make your mind marvelous today!

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A Great Reason To Dream Big!


“I am providing two quotes I think you will appreciate. The first is from Ralph Waldo Emerson. He states one should, ‘Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.’ 

If you want your inner reality, your dreams, to be your outer reality, the results you get, then go ahead and make them come true. It is completely up to you. Create the future you want to live. Don’t let anything stop you. I couldn’t agree more, how about you?

The second quote is from Walt Disney. I think this is one you should keep in mind. Disney created an empire that is still ongoing today. Here is what he says about this:

‘If you can dream it, you can do it. Always remember that this whole thing was started with a dream and a mouse.’

‘If You Can Dream It You Can Do It’ Are Pretty Powerful Words

The Disney Empire was started with a dream and a mouse. He knew what he wanted to accomplish. Then he went about accomplishing it. He drew, animated and was the voice of Mickey Mouse and from that dream everything else became possible.

He made his passion his purpose and accomplished his dreams. The outer results of his dream are that he created are a motion picture and television studio, countless movies and merchandise and theme parks all generating then and worth billions and billions of dollars now. I

If you can dream it you can do it! Dare to live the life you have dreamed!

I agree, what about you?

With these in mind we should never dream small. We should dream big and then make it all come true. Make your passion your purpose and fulfill it. Don’t let anything stop you from creating and living the life you want.” Rex Sikes

Make the day magical!

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Why We Need Faith, Patience And Diligence

patience is how you act while waiting

“I was reminded of a quote today and thought I’d share it. It is a really great reminder so I wanted you to have it. From William Penn, ‘Patience and diligence, like faith, remove mountains.’ I think that is magnificent!

Most of us are familiar with the biblical quote ‘if you had but the faith of a mustard seed you could say to this mountain be removed and the mountain would be removed.’ I love this because a mustard seed is incredibly small, and yet with that faith we could accomplish great things.

I think the problem with most people approaching a quote like that is that they expect a miracle. They want the mountain to become suddenly invisible. I accept it as an analogy for our difficulties and for our ability to accomplish our dreams. We can do anything given enough time.

We have to believe it is possible to achieve or we will never pursue it. We have to believe it is possible for US to get it and that we will get it no matter what. We have to believe we will accomplish our dreams so that we never give up. We need to believe in ourselves and our own abilities to make things happen.

We Must Have Faith

When we have faith we find we can accomplish great things and overcome any difficulty. Attitude determines our altitude. What we believe we eventually come to see. Mindset is the first step in getting what we want. Without it we may not make it. With faith we make it happen!

Faith is seeing the results you want already accomplished in your mind. It means you act as if everything you want is already yours on the inside. You celebrate your accomplishment as completed, finsished and done. You enjoy feeling what it feels like to actually have your dreams come true. You live and celebrate these feelings!

Patience is necessary because things take time. If we are hurried we may lose faith because we don’t see results in the phsyical world right away. We need to understand that it takes time for fruit to ripen so it takes time for us to make our dreams come true. It takes time to manifest our inner dreams as outer reality.

Nothing happens over night. The mountain may be removed shovel full by shovel full but not as if by magic. We have to hang in their and enjoy the process even when we don’t physically have what we believe we someday will. This is why we need faith and patience.

Patience And Faith Fortify Each Other

They go hand in hand. If we believe we are patient because we know, we expect, that what we want to happen will happen. We aren’t rushed, we can relax in our hearts and minds knowing we will absolutely bring about what we think about and work for. We rest assured it will all happen without fail!

Diligence means we continue in the process and the practice regardless of what difficulty we may encounter. We don’t quit or give up because it takes time but we continue to persist. We continue to deliver consistent quality of thought and attitude. We let nothing deter us from manifesting our dreams.

We Remain True To Our Goals

We expect to win and so we do by faith. We are patient in our pursuit and we stick with it. Diligence is defined as ‘constant and earnest effort to accomplish what is undertaken; persistent effort of body and mind; rigor; conscientiousness.’  We keep the faith through the constant application of our faith, our mindset, and because of this faith we continue to be diligent and patient.

It makes total sense these work together synergistically. We keep our mind’s eye on our chief aim or goal. We believe we can make it happen, we rest assured and patiently continue to earnestly work to bring it about regardless of circumstances or lack of results. We still know it will happen all in due time. We never lose sight of the shore!

We know if we continue in a positive direction forward we will reach our destination, even if the seas are presently turbulent, and land is nowhere in sight. We do not stop heading toward where we want to go.

I love the above quote by Penn because it reminds me that we have within us everything we need to make our dreams come true. All we have to do is use what we already have and we will make it happen.” Rex Sikes

Delight in this day!

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Either You Are OR You Aren’t: Knowing This Is Great Power!

start living your life fearlessly

“The concept is quite simple. Frankly, as simple as black and white, hot or cold, up and down. Think of it this way: you are either saving money or spending money. Your money either works for you or you work for it. You either are living fearlessly or you are not. It is simple!  What ARE you doing?

Possessions are either a feeder, contributing to your wealth and well being, or an eater, detracting from your wealth and well being. A car either appreciates in value or depreciates.

That is a pretty easy concept isn’t it? Your positive thoughts energy  ball is either larger or smaller than your negative thoughts energy ball. You either think positive or not. You either feel good or you don’t. You are either happy or you aren’t.

It Is Either One Way Or The Other Way

You are either nice to people most of the time or you are not. You either give and contribute to others or you don’t. You are either supportive and encouraging or you are not AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT. What are you?

What are you thinking, feeling and doing? What are you thinking, feeling and doing at any given moment? What are you thinking, feeling and doing RIGHT THIS MOMENT?

You need or want to notice which it is and whether that is what you want OR NOT. You are either doing well or you aren’t. You are either getting closer to your target destination or you are not.

All it takes is for you to be aware and notice what it is you are doing or mostly getting. If it is NOT what you want you have to change it for it to be otherwise. It is that cut and dried. It is that simple and straight forward. It is not complicated in the least.

We Become What We Think About

We become what we think about and focus on most of the time each day. Whatever consumes the mind is what we get. Either those are wonderfully powerful joyous thoughts or they aren’t.

If you want to think and feel better you need to make the decision about what you will concentrate on and then do it.

No one can do it for you. No one can think your thoughts or feel your feelings for you. No one can rescue you only you can. If you don’t like the results you are getting you CAN do something to get better results. You can change what you are doing.

If you are spending more than you are saving you can change that.

If you are focused on blame and worry and fear you can change that.

If you are eating the wrong foods for your health you can change that.

It Is Your Responisibility Alone

YOU have to take responsibility and correct the course you are on. It may be true, you have never done it before now, but you can learn to do it and you can be successful at it.

The decision is yours. You either decide to do it or you don’t do it. To not decide is to make a decision against doing anything. It will always be your choice and yours alone. The choice will always stare you in the face until you do something about it. Ignoring it is a choice.

If you want to be happier, healthier, wealthier you must think and do what brings that to you. You don’t move foward looking backward. If you want more happiness and enjoyment in your life you either take big steps or little steps towards it.

No steps won’t bring you what you want. Little steps will! You have to move toward what you want. What are you doing each moment? What are you moving towards this moment? Are you getting closer to what you want OR closer to what you don’t want? Figure it out and do what you need to do in order to get what you want!

You Determine What You Want And What You Will Get

If you want a life filled with gratitude and joy. Count your blessings every day. Look around for things and people to celebrate! Fill your mind and time with all that is good and joyous. Let gratefulness and joy consume you.

THEN you will get back what you put out. THEN you will become what you think about. THEN you will get what you want. If you want it make it happen. Decide Now! The miracle happens in the decision! More coming up on this topic! ” Rex Sikes

Make the most of this marvelous day!

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Let’s Reconnect Each Other To The Network And Thrive!

what we project we perceive

“What makes this world a beautiful place? Our thoughts, when right thinking, the world is delightful. When we manage our thoughts and think the very best of ourselves, others and circumstances the world is wonderful. We paint this world as we want it to be by our thoughts and attitudes. If it isn’t what you want then you have to change some things.

Our beliefs determine what we see and what we find. Our experience is shaped first within and then realized without. When we think the best of everything we have the best of everything. When we hold others in our heart and wish them love, peace, blessings, abundance, and when we support through kindness this world is amazing.

Go First: Bless, Heal And Prosper

We can give first even without others knowing we are giving. We can care and make a difference! It begins with out thinking but must become our speech and our actions. Only think, say and do those things that help bless, heal and prosper another person and yourself. Live well by thinking, speaking and doing kindness.

There are people who suffer but somehow manage to find the bright spot in the darkness. They live in the light while facing incredible odds and still find it within themselves to love, care for and encourage others. In spite of great personal difficulty they act and help to encourage and inspire others. We all can do more of this.

What makes this world a beautiful place? People do! Without our awareness this place just is. It is a rock hurtling through space at high speed. People give it color, texture, love and life. People do care and do help and do inspire and this is wonderful!

People rallly and support and nurture each other. In pleasant times and in trying times people reach out and are there for one another.

Love One Another

It is worth it to think the best of all people and to hold everyone in the highest esteem. To love and accept each other as Jesus encouraged us to. I am not favoring Jesus here, many have spoken about this need, but his message was simple. ‘Love one another as I have loved you.”

His examples from the scripture are pretty clear. He gave, he healed, he fed, he nourish, he inspired others.

Those he chastized seemed to be greedy know it alls who had no remorse. According to his story he gave his life for them too. He forgave his captors and killers. If he could do this, how can we not do a little something for one another when in need.

He stated that what you do for the least or the most lowly of all people you do for and to him. That is pretty straightforward. We ought to help each other more. We ought not judge we ought just help without prejudice. We should be open and accepting.

There are plenty of times in each day when a smile, a kind word, a note, a message, a small act of caring may be all that is needed to uplift another person. We can help ease their burden just by being pleasant and nice. Opportunities for kindness abound. Hold a door open for someone. Make pleasant eye contact. Chat with a stranger,

Of course, we should do this with family, friends and co-workers. Frankly, we should do it with and for everyone!

Smile More, Be Kind, Uplift, Be Friendly In Thought, Word, Deed

Recognize and validate the people you pass by everyday without giving a thought to. The person who annoys you;  the person begging at the corner; the disenfranchized citizens, the homeless, the needy, the hospitalized. Acknowledge them as you go about your day! Notice and greet them.

We can care. Recognize them. Smile, say hello. Wish them well. Act like they do more than just exist. They are people after all. They may be cut off from family, friends and society. They may need hopsitalization, or a meal or a bed.

They are human and they do have needs. Some just don’t have the money or station in life you and others do. So what!? Treat all people with care and kindness!

If you can’t do anything YOU can always wish them well. You can think highly of them and for them. You can say a little prayer or shower that  person with positive thoughts, feelings of peace, love, joy and positve warm loving energy. Attitude is everything too!

The World Is Filled With People Posing As Strangers

Take moments throughout the day to validate the people who walk the earth around you. They get on elevators with you, walk the streets, pass you by in hallways, the world is filled with people posing as strangers.

We are one species, one family seemingly separated. We have differences and that makes us richer by far than if we were all the same.  Yet, there is THAT aspect of us that is all the same.

We are human! We want and need to be noticed and loved. We need to feel that others know we are here and that we can be heard. We all want to make some form of positive impact and be valuable to another. We want to leave a mark on the world.

There Is Nothing More Sad Than A Lonely Person In The Crowd

That should never be the case. We are all in it together. We are one great human network. Networking shouldn’t only be to get ourselves gain but to get others the help they need.

Some people have fallen out of ‘everyday’ life network and can use some help getting re-connected. Help others connect to resources, theirs and those availble to them. Help each other bless, heal and prosper!

We are ONE organism with different cells. In a healthy body these different cells work together and support each other so the organism can thrive. They are different, they have different functions but the same goal IS to keep the organism alive.

We should do no less when it comes to people. For the species to survive we need to co-operate more. Recognize and validate. Help and heal! We need to listen, actually understand and take actions. We need to manage our thoughts, focus our attention on the positive, and speak and act positively.

What makes the world a beautiful place? When people are there for each other. When they reach out and uplift. There are so many kind, generous wonderful people in the world. Let’s focus on that.

Celebrate what is good! Recognize it! Celerbate it! Appreicate it! Validate it! Let’s make it a point to create more of it. We can if we believe we can! We will! Let’s begin right now!” Rex Sikes

Spend a moment smiling with someone new today!

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How To Have More Positive Enjoyable Energy

looking at the same world difference is what u see

“DO you vibrate low or high or at all? Some people, some spiritual practices and quantum physicists, believe we are energy and vibrate at certain frequencies. Based on experience and every bit of research I have I have looked into in the past 40 years I can accept this premise. After all,  we are made up of vibrating atoms.

When we add heat to a liquid (we add energy) the energy, the molecules and atoms, of the liquid move faster. When frozen they move less (although they still are vibrating). It seems it is the nature of the universe to be one vibrating energy in many forms or frequencies and actually nothing else.

Everything is energy.

Just as there is day and night, good and bad, up and down, hot and cold there is positive and negative, high and low, energy.  It seems to be the case that whether we vibrate high and positive or low and negative we are attracting the same kind of energy to us. We get back more of the same.

Or perhaps, when we are vibrating at a high positive rate we create and attract more high positive energy and when we are at a low negative rate we repel and are not open to receive high positive energy. We are resistant to it unless we change how we are vibrating.

Whether or not you chose to believe this as reality it still makes perfect sense to adopt as an analogy or metaphor for what goes on within us. It gives us a way to calibrate or evaluate how and what and where we spend the bulk of our time. It can explain what we are doing. Once we recognize what we are doing we can change it for our benefit.

Think of it like this. You have a positive energy ball or cloud above you and you have a negative one too. Whichever one is bigger is where you spend the predominant amount of your time. The goal is to have one larger than the other. Which do you think would be better to have bigger?

Yes, I think the positive ball too. So the goal is to think our thoughts and feel our feelings in the best possible ways to make the positive ball bigger and the negative ball smaller. If we really had these in the physical world the larger the ball the more mass it has.

This is not necessarily accurate. It could be larger and lighter depending on what it is made of and how it is made.  Still, most of the time the larger something is the more gravity pulls on it so the more potential momentum it has. We want a big positive energy ball for this reason!

We want a massive, positive, energy ball with lots of momentum.

We want out thoughts and feelings mostly positive so we live our life mostly feeling wonderful and creating good things.  It makes perfect sense that how and where and what we spend most of our time doing is what we get back.

We could call you a ‘water person’ if you spend the bulk of your time in the pool, the sea or on and around the water. If you spend most of our time loving, feeling peaceful and joyful what is your experience versus if most of our time is spent complaining, blaming and quarreling? How do you prefer to live your life? What do you want?

When we keep our energy positive we attract and create good things, happy things, positive events, experiences and people. When most of our time is thinking and feeling negative ball we get negative people, experience and things. It really is a simple concept.

If all this talk about positivity and vibration is accurate and real it makes a lot of sense. Even if it isn’t actually real, but only a useful analogy for how to live, it still makes a lot sense in how we approach life and getting what we want. It gives us a practical means for determining how we are getting the results we are getting.

The more time we spend feeling good the MORE TIME we spend FEELING GOOD.  While that seems like a redundant sentence there is truth in it. Adopting these analogies for ourselves helps us to know where we need to put our attention more frequently.

The better we live the better life we have.

Complaining and whining does what? It deflates our good mood. It zaps us of our positive energy. Criticism and blame brings us down. Fear and worry and negativity do not help us to feel better. Yes, it can help us to realize and recognize what we do not want but we can not wallow there if we want to feel wonderful.

We need to turn our attention away from what we don’t want and put it on what we do want instead.

For this reason it is up to us to take 100% responsibility for controlling our thoughts and feelings. No one else can do it for us. This IS why WE put effort into managing our thoughts so we remain positive and powerful create or attract what we do want.

This IS WHY we make positive glorious pictures and supportive self-talk and affirmations because we become what we think about, focus on and do most of most often. The more time we spent thinking and feeling and doing what we want the more of it we have. The more of it we will do automatically as we make positive thinking and feeling a habit.

The more we do the more we can to do.

Hopefully, now you understand the reasons for taking control of your mind and body, your thoughts and words, your actions. They have a cumulative effect and produce the results you are getting in your life. If you don’t like the results you have gotten you need to change what you are doing and what you are focused on.

In these blog pages I have discussed precisely how to do this. Go back a read through posts. I’ll share more upcoming too. We want to keep our ball of energy large and positive. They key to the good life is how we use our minds and how we feel.

Any time you you, at any moment you can become aware, and  do a self check to discover to which ball are you contributing? Are you adding to the positive energy ball or the negative? This is important!

This can help you stay on track with what you want and help you live the life you prefer! Focus on what you want more of! Take the positive steps you need to bring that about. If you can hold it positively in you head and heart you can some day soon hold it in your hand.” Rex Sikes

Have a delightful today!

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The Secret To Making Visualization Work For You!

suzanne somers visualization quotes

“We are told to visualize our goals but how are we supposed to do this? Is there a secret to making visualization work? What if we we don’t see our pictures clearly does it matter? Can we still succeed?

You Can Get What You Want With Visualization

It seems for eons the emphasis has been in the wrong place. It has been on the image one is supposed to see or make. Yes, you make an internal representation of what it is that you want to be, do or have. You represent in your mind what is absolutely important to you.

We have said ‘visualize it’ and for some they can easily do this. For others, they have more difficulty. They can better hear the voices, or the sounds. Others can more easily experience the feelings. Some do all three without issue. Plus, they might experience tastes and smells.

Whatever you do is okay. Yes, you can develop the ability with which you experience each sense through deliberate practice. Dedicated repetition will make the sense more available, alive and realistic.

It is true we do what is easiest or most comfortable for us. If you haven’t spent much time deliberately visualizing it may not be as easy for you as someone else, at first. With time it can be. Practice it and you will get better at it.

Practice Developing Your Senses

I recommend you practice developing each sense so you have a richer and more varied inner imagination or ‘day dream’ life. In fact, if you see your dreams, at any time, you do see your images. The easiest way to develop the skill is a little bit at a time and with positive expectations and praise. Never get down on yourself.

Look around your room, pick a corner and recreate it in your mind. Look at a simple picture or drawing and close your eyes and re-trace it on the inside. Listen to someone speak or some music and replay it in your head. Imagine the voice of a loved one saying wonderful things to you. Replay sounds you hear from daily life.

Run your hand across some fabric or item and get a sense of doing that on the inside. Hold something in your hand, notice the texture, the weight, the space it takes. Remove it and recreate the sensations. There are many ways to create on the inside what you experience outside.

You can imagine a red box (or any other color) and the change the color. Change the shape to a pyramid and change the color again and the shape again and the color. Have it grow larger, smaller, spin, flatten like a pancake, expand, fly way off into the distance, zoom back in again. Practice creating odd images. You can include sounds and feelings too.

Imagine a giraffe with a monkey on its back flying over our house shouting ‘yipee kiyay!’ Picture a blue elephant eating balancing on a stop and go light eating an ice cream cone. Create different weird, funny, wonderful images and scenarios to enjoy.

Make pictures of loved ones, favorite vacation spots, memories that are important, meaningful and wonderful for you. Just spend five or so minutes daily (or longer if you are able to) and soon your inner world will be richer with images, sounds and feelings.

The Really Important Ingredient

Still, if all you saw was a vague notion of what you wanted that is fine. Might it be better if it were crystal clear, it might be, but not enough to get upset over. The true point of visualizing is NOT so much what you see inside BUT rather what you feel when you are ‘seeing’ it.

The real key to visualizing and creating your dreams and your reality are the feelings above and beyond the pictures. The feelings, how you feel, while you hold the images in your mind drive the show! The feeling you have is the most important!

It is important to feel great! What you want should excite you, make you eager to have it. It should be something to feel absolutely passionate about. Pictures and words (affirmations) don’t have much punch, much power of affect if that is all they are, pictures and words. It is how good you feel while picturing and affirming that count!

The better you feel the easier and faster you create! This IS the secret and I will share more in my future blogs. You can create your reality and be, do and have anything you want. You can make it happen.” Rex Sikes

Have a fabulous today!

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Success Defined: How To Be A Success

I can I will end of story

“For some people success seems to come easy, doesn’t it? We think they had it handed to them or were born to it. For others, success seems elusive, a struggle, or if there is success it comes only after much effort.

We are told, in the U.S., work hard and sacrifice and anyone can be a success in time, but only if they really work hard. Sweat, toil, work 3 jobs. That doesn’t seem like the American dream does it? Is success difficult? Does it require hard work? Will you be successful?

Let’s take a look into this notion of success.

Some equate it with career or money. Others include happiness and living well as being successful. Most of us it seems define success as an end point to our efforts. We work hard and then succeed but is that what success is? Is it at the end of the work?

Napoleon Hill stated, ‘Success is the development of the power with which to get whatever one wants in life without interfering with the rights of others.’

The development of the power with which to get whatever one wants IS success to Napoleon, BUT, without interfering with the rights of others. Beautiful! I like this. It is the development of the power to achieve what one wants. Obviously, things develop over time AND while we are developing this power, for ourselves, we are not limiting anyone else.

He further stated, ‘Before success comes in any man’s life, he’s sure to meet with much temporary defeat and, perhaps some failures. When defeat overtakes a man, the easiest and the most logical thing to do is to quit. That’s exactly what the majority of men do.’

Of course, if we quit we will never know what might have been.

Some don’t let failure deter them. Look at Edison. ‘Edison failed 10,000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times,’ said Hill.

Helen Keller is one person who faced incredible odds. Blind and deaf shortly after birth she grew up to become an educated speaker capable of inspiring countless others because of her spirit and attitude. She is only one example of someone who prevailed though facing enormous odds.

Hill stated, ‘Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.’ The seed of an EQUAL or greater benefit! Opportunity and advantage! However, in order to recognize the benefit, the opportunity, we must be aware and attuned with correct mindset.

His own son was born without ears. He didn’t have the external or internal physical auditory equipment to hear. Hill, refusing to believe this would be a limitation for his son, thought it a blessing. It made him special and he passed this attitude onto his boy who did learn to hear and went on to accomplish much.

To some it may seem as though success comes after much effort but Hill said the it was NOT about hard work and that hard work was a myth. That DOESN’T mean no work! Hill meant attitude comes first. Success takes work but it can be enjoyable work with the right attitude. It does not have to be hard work. This is important to note!

Hill emphasized that successful results followed the development of a successful mindset. In order to succeed in the world one had to first learn to control one’s own mind and develop a winning mindset and attitude. Then one was unstoppable and could command great things.

Success first begins within.

He emphasized this often, ‘What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.’ AND ‘Success comes to those who become success conscious.’

He stated that, ‘It is true nothing can bring you success but yourself.’ If one is to be successful it is up to that person to develop their mindset and their powers to accomplish whatever it is they want. I’ve discussed this many times in these pages. It would serve you well to re-visit again and re-read. Also read Hill!

He pointed out regarding wealth accumulation: ‘When Riches begin to come they come so quickly and in such great abundance that one wonders where they have been hiding during all those lean years.’

He points out that our minds ‘become magnetized with the dominating thoughts we hold in our minds.’ AND ‘These magnets attract to us the forces, the people, the circumstances of life which harmonize with the nature of our dominating thoughts’.

‘All the breaks you need in life wait within your imagination; Imagination is the workshop of your mind, capable of turning mind energy into accomplishment and wealth.’ AND ‘Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.’

It is up to us to take control of our minds. To learn to use them in developing our own happiness which in turn leads us to success.

Success need not be difficult.

He made THIS important point many times: ‘It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.’ AND  ‘Success in life depends upon happiness, and happiness is found in no other way than through SERVICE that is rendered in a spirit of love.’

Zig Ziglar put it this way, ‘You will get all you want in life when you help enough other people get what they want.’

Help others and you help yourself. Help others and they can help you. The energy grows stronger in helping each other than in struggling alone. We can rise faster together. Every one rowing in the same direction increases the speed at which we are able to move forward.

People who step on others may get tot he top but they frequently fall or do not enjoy the journey nor the destination.

Earl Nightengale defined it this way. ‘Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.’

Success is not an end state, an ultimate goal, we end up at. It is not result of our efforts but a process we live. The progressive realization means it unfolds; it is a journey not a destination. We are successful while pursuing a worthy goal or ideal.

Don’t Wait To Be Successful!

Nightengale also said, ‘Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.’

One of the most brilliant definitions of success I have every heard is this: Define it for yourself. You write the rules. You play the game so play so you can win. Success is whatever you say it is. Don’t chase something elusive be successful now! Make it easy to succeed and you will have more success immediately. It is only far off if you keep it far off.

Some people compare themselves against others. They keep a score that keeps them losing. You need to keep a score that keeps you winning. Stop comparing your results to other’s results. Don’t get distracted by focusing on the wrong things. If you want to compare compare yourself against yourself and commit to being a little better each day.

Decide you are a success and you will begin to succeed. Decide to be happy and you’ll find your happiness! Decide to live to the fullest and life becomes worth living! Everything worthwhile in the world first began as a thought before it became a reality.

Manage your thoughts. Aim them in the right direction and you will travel in the right direction. Make your reality what you want it to be AND begin now! Everything can change inside a single moment when you make a powerful decision.” Rex Sikes

Enjoy your day!

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Self Confidence: Do You Have What It Takes? Find Out Now

you are going to be great keep on going

“What is self confidence? It is the deep abiding belief in oneself and in one’s abilities to make whatever one desires come true. It is not egotistical, boastful, rude or abusive. A self confident person is not a bully because this person does not have to be. The self confident person loves and accepts himself. She accepts and loves others too.

A self confident person knows in his heart and mind he will succeed. She is focused and expects everything to work out in her behalf. She knows she is 100% responsible for making her dreams come true. He is unstoppable and persists in making things happen. She does not give up.

A self confident person rejoices when a colleague advances. There is no envy or resentment because the self confident person is not in competition with anyone else.She acknowledges when others succeed and is happy for them. If there is competition it is for the self confident person to better himself today and tomorrow. She competes with herself to be her personal best.

A self confident person doesn’t whine or complain about others, circumstance, politics, religion, the economy or the world at large. If there are problems a self confident person works to overcome the problem by focusing on the solutions. He doesn’t waste time complaining about things because he realizes none of that has anything to do with his success. She knows if it is going to happen it will be up to her and her attitude. If she is going to manifest her dreams there are no obstacles that can prevent her. She will prevail because she will persist.

The self confident person succeeds and wins the game of life because he expects to win. He knows it is a game and treats it that way. He has fun and enjoys the process. He is not defeated by challenges but enjoys them.

She lives life fully accepting herself and others and thinking the best of both. She is optimistic and has a bright outlook on her future. She has a deep faith in her heart, a knowingness that she will make wonderful things happen.

Even though no one can see the future or know everything a self confident person expects whatever comes along to work out for the very best. She expects to land on her feet. Because he knows he doesn’t know everything he expects troubles to turn into triumphs, Good things always ultimately come to those who know that they will.

A self confident person knows they are never finished. He stays open and is eager to learn. She reads, listens to inspiring speakers and audios, attends events, finds coaches and mentors and continues to develop herself. A self confident person is willing to change and understands that is you want things in your life to change you must change things in your life.

A self confident person does not use their five senses to determine the results in the world. The self confident person knows successful results start within him. He knows that believing is seeing and not the other way around.

She doesn’t let circumstances distract her from what is important. She is open to feedback and flexible and adaptive while remaining true to her purpose. Defeat and negative circumstances are temporary and considered learning experiences.

He learns from everything. He enjoys everything and looks for the silver lining in each dark cloud. He believes that what he will manifest, should it take some time, is still coming to him and he does not get caught in doubt, worry or fear. He believes. He believes in himself and his ability to create his future!

She knows it will happen, and she expects it arrive.  Just as on your birthday you eagerly anticipated getting presents when you were a child. Perhaps, you even had difficulty sleeping the night before because you knew tomorrow there will be presents. She knows good things are coming because she is making them happen. She has total faith.

A self confident person co-operates with others, is friendly and cheerful because there is no reason not to be. Others are accepted and not judged. A self confident person realizes that he decides. The choices are hers so she lets others be whomever they are and she also accepts herself completely. He knows if he needs to change something about himself or learn something different he can and he will.

The self confident person makes no excuses for him or herself. He accepts responsibility and she knows the buck stops her. In these ways the self confident person is filled with energy and positive power. The self confident person stays focused passionately on her purpose. She stays focused on what she wants to create.

He smiles and laughs more. He relaxes and does what he enjoys. Life is good, life is great, life is grand. He is playful. She is inspiring without being preachy. She leads by example and from the front. She knows where she is headed and so she goes there joyfully. She knows life and improvement is a process and that some things take time. She lives to the fullest while fully engaged in the process.

The self confident person makes the world a better place for self and others! Are you confident in yourself? Do you make the world a better place? If not future blogs will discuss how you can be. Enjoy learning and growing and making your dreams come true. You can be the person you always dreamed yourself to be! ” Rex Sikes

Have a fascinating day!

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How To Get Whatever You Want! How To Manifest It!

you atract what you focus on

“What is the secret? Is there a key to making what we want happen? What should we do to make our dreams come true? Can we speed up the process of getting our heart’s desires?

The secret is: Have fun! Delight! Celebrate and enjoy. Feel good! Feel blissful. Smile, laugh, appreciate. Be light and be lite! You will get your goal faster when you feel really, really, really good most of the time. When you are feeling good everything is working for you.

It does not happen quicker by screwing up your face. Sweat, hard work and effort won’t make it occur any quicker. Thinking about it and then thinking about not having it will only make it take longer. You make it happen quicker when you feel blessed most of the time!

The process is simple. You conceive it, believe it and achieve it. You decide what you want. See it as already accomplished. Keep your attention on what you want and how good you feel. Feel the wonderful feelings of having accomplished your dreams.

Energy flows where your attention goes. Keep focused on feeling good, feeling blessed and enjoying life! Maintain your attention there. Keep your attention riveted there come what may. No matter what current circumstances are maintain the attitude and feelings that you are blessed, blissful and filled with gratitude.

Have fun making it happen. Live life fully! Live fully this moment. Be thankful and happy and positive. Feeling wonderful will make everything seem like magic. It will get you through tough times faster and easier than pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps.

You can’t force your dreams to happen you allow them. Even though you are creating them you allow them to come into being.  You stop resisting, you celebrate, laugh, delight, enjoy and allow whatever IS to be. Accept and appreciate everything. This is the habit you want to create.

The attitude you maintain throughout everything life offers is: ‘Life is grand! This is marvelous! I am so blessed! Good things always come my way! Even though I can’t yet see it something good is happening! I always land on my feet! This is exciting something good is coming!!’ This mindset that gives you power.

The simple secret is to feel the best you can as often as you can. Feel good most of the time, each moment! Feel good about everything going on and not going on. Even though you can’t see into your future know there are good things coming your way.

No matter what circumstances are like, even if horrible, remain blissful and feeling blessed. Be excited now and anticipate your future as wonderful! This is the attitude to develop and maintain.

Feel great and be positive! Savor life! Enjoy everything! Believe that something better is coming to you. Don’t be impatient. Don’t pressure yourself, let go of stress, fear and doubt.  Those will only prevent you from making your dreams come true.

No matter what is occurring stay focused on wonderful feelings. It may seem difficult at first. That is okay it will get easier and easier. The more you learn to stay feeling good the easier it becomes. You think more positive thoughts and feel better which leads to more positive thoughts and good feelings. A momentum develops

When this attitude becomes a habit you become unstoppable. You become powerful as a creator and a person who can make happen whatever it is you want. Life becomes incredible because you automatically think and create more good things. You feel marvelous! Life becomes a true adventure! You delight in it all!

How do you make this a habit?

Every time you notice you are thinking or feeling less than gloriously deliberately steer your thinking back to the most positive. Find away to  feel the best you can feel. Focus on whatever you need to focus on to feel even just a little bit better. The goal is to feel the best you can each and every moment.

Keep doing this long enough and you will make returning to the positive a habit. Keep celebrating long enough and you will make celebrating, even in the face of adversity, a habit. Habits are formed by consistent repetition over a period of time. Habits are formed by practice. You deliberately take control and make this a habit.

When it becomes a habit and automatic you won’t even have to think about it because you will automatically respond to whatever life offers with  ‘Great, I am so blessed! Something wonderful is coming my way. I may not be able to see it, explain it or justify it but something wonderful is about to happen. I feel it! I just know it’

At this point everything gets easier and moves faster. You think more positively. Because you have more positive thoughts and feelings you get more positive thoughts and feelings! The momentum increases. Birds of a feather flock together! Like attracts like. More good feeling s produce more good feelings. Enjoy!

By feeling good and thinking positive you can easily be, do or have anything you desire. You are in the optimum creative place. From your own personal abundance you create more. You live large and live well feeling good every moment. Life becomes magical Things begin going your way.

Attitude is everything! When your attitude is right there is no stopping you. When you attitude is right you make happen what you want to happen. You are intentional and deliberate. You create and attract everything you need to bring manifest your dreams and desires. Yes, it becomes magical’ Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

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