A million dollars. I will get to that. But first:
You may notice reoccurring themes as you read these blog posts. That is intentional. The reason for this is that it is through repeated exposure concepts can begin to sink in. Advertisers know that most people do not act because of one ad or one info-mercial but that it takes numerous times before a person becomes ‘brand’ aware or picks up the phone and dials in. It is cited that callers required a minimum of 7 viewings before most people will phone in for the product. So being exposed to an ad, a concept or a principle one time is not enough for most people to understand it and act on it. Advertisers are great at using. The military uses this to great effect too – really great effect.
When you read a self help book, or these blogs, you are best served when you go back and re-read the material over and over again a number of times through the years. This is because you discover more than you did on the first reading. Students of mine go back again and again and listen to my audio programs and discover so much more than they realized when they attended the live program or first purchased the audio version. They call and write me telling how amazed they are that they didn’t hear it while there. They are excited and grateful they now did because they reviewed the material.
The reason you learn and understand more is that you pay attention differently. You have changed during the time you were first exposed to the material and the next time you visited it. You notice things you hadn’t previously and you begin to make sense of concepts that may also previously escaped you. You make new connections with the material.
I used to think that this was ‘a crock’ until I started doing it. Then I was stunned and amazed at all I had missed. I was delighted and absolutely thrilled to begin to make sense of things in practical ways, that allowed me to apply what I was beginning to understand, that I had not been able to previously. Repeated exposure makes an incredible difference.
Another reason why I revisit the themes and slowly move on introducing new concepts is to allow the concepts to remain in the forefront and the background without adding too much information or too many new ideas all at once. It is important for some ideas to be savored not sampled. So I repeat, some times directly and sometimes indirectly, the concepts and principles and information.
Most adults read and learn about things that they are interested in or want to do and accomplish. Many read self-help books and books on success. The point I am making about learning and repetition is true for any learning you wish to undertake. It is critical for those who want to be successful, live happy lives, make more money, have the career that they wish, the home they desire or the mate of their dreams. Whether you want to travel or stay at home, have children or enter a new line of work it is important, when you want to make positive changes in and for yourself, that you understand the process so you can more easily move ahead. When you want to make advancements knowing how makes it that much easier.
If you want to create a wonderful present and future and make your dreams come true all of this applies to you. It applies to you even if you are only interested in learning how to juggle or make a smaller change for yourself.
It is important to understand this next concept. There is a structure that good speakers utilize to deliver good, memorable speeches. This structure in speech giving is ‘tell them what you are going to tell them, tell them, and then tell them again what you told them.
‘Tell them (audience) what you are going to tell them’ pre-exposes the human brain to the concepts and alerts them to what is coming. Then, ‘tell them’ what you want them to know. Then ‘tell them what you told them’ reinforces all that you have told them and reminds them that you delivered what you said you were. It book ends the learning.
For example, (brief possible statements the speaker might say – obviously the speech is more than these brief example phrases. Each phase is more elaborate).
Phase 1: ‘I will tell you these three things, we are going to cover… A, B and C’.
Phase 2: ‘A is apples and apples do… or are…, B is barley and barley does… or is… and C is corn and corn does… or is…. Together apples, barely and corn …’
Phase 3: ‘Now you will remember this morning apples are… barley is… and corn was…. This is why ABC are important, and what you needed to know to be able to do with these in order to make… something better. Now, your future is different because of … and you will always remember apples, barely and corn. Thank you!’
OKAY that is only a very brief skeletal example of what could be said. The reason why speakers utilize this approach is that by providing information in this manner you help the listener learn it, and retain it. Is one time enough for most things? No, repetition is necessary. You provide the information and by repeating it in different ways (during the different phases) you reinforce it. Your car wouldn’t travel very far if the piston only pumped once. Reinforcement through repetition is necessary.
You have to repeatedly exercise to get results. Once, or a few times is not enough to grow your muscles, stimulate the metabolism and have your body take the shape you want.
Neither is reading an important article or book, listening to learning audios and watching DVD’s or attending a live program.
The first time exposure is like the snowflake on the tip of the top of Mount Everest. It is the tiniest amount, the beginning of the journey. It is a very important first step, a critical step. It is a very tiny necessary one.
The moment you decide to learn to do anything is a great moment for you. It is the moment you are willing to allow yourself to be exposed to things you are not familiar with. Then hopefully you have enough interest to want to continue. After the first exposure you may or may not continue on or it may be sometime before you ever venture this way again.
Whether you do or not depends on numerous factors.
Some of these include what was the experience like, did you enjoy it or not? Was it engaging did it hook you? Did you see your need or reasons to continue? How was the instruction, good, bad, did you like the person or not? Were you there because you actually wanted to be there or needed to be there? How important is the material to you and your circumstances? Did some one make you go? There are many reasons why people do and don’t do things for themselves.
Some of the reasons may be there own or they place it others or the material. They may not like the instructor or the design of the manual. The temperature of the room wasn’t right. They may cite any number of reasons for or against.
The point is some people continue and some don’t. Educators can help expose people to new information and help them continue along but it is not only the educator’s responsibility. The responsibility is on the learner and the person who wants to make the changes. Keep in mind, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink’.
An educator could do everything absolutely right and there will still be those who, for whatever reason, choose not to learn from that person. That is okay and the educator shouldn’t be disappointed. Everyone and everything in it’s own time. Not everyone has the same teacher. ‘When the student is ready the teacher appears’. So different people will learn from others.
‘You cannot add anything to an already filled cup’ is a Zen principle and is very true. If someone thinks they know it all or that nothing is relevant or applies to them then you can present information all you want but they will not see it, hear it or do anything with it. Their mind is full, they have their opinions, they aren’t interested in learning. They believe they already know it. Perhaps, they want to demonstrate that they already know something. Anything is possible. Until one is ready to learn no conscious learning occurs. Learning follows genuine curiosity because curiosity opens the door to that possibility.
I am a firm believer that no one actually teaches any one anything. One can present, one can order and structure the material and the experience so the student can best assimilate it. One can provide experiences, challenges and information so that the learner has the best possible opportunity to acquire the necessary learnings but one can not force a person to learn, use and remember if they don’t want to. Learning is what we do as individuals.
You may be taught poorly or well, but it is also true you may learn poorly or well. Learning is up to the individual and not up to the instructor. The instructor responsibility begins with being the best instructor and providing the best learning environment and experience they are able to, and sticking with the learner for as long as the learner allows them to. Learning the material is up to the learner.
When I say someone may be a poor learner I am not speaking of ‘learning disabilities’ (another topic for another time and place). We all learn. Most of us learn what we want to. A child may learn to do a complicated video games because the child enjoys it but suck at history because the child doesn’t care, the instructor is not to the child’s liking, history ‘is boring’ or because the child doesn’t understand the reason ‘why we must learn history’. Nor am I addressing conditions when people are forced to learn though it is true the learner learns the forced lessons. Nor, am I address natural environmental learning or training as in learning that certain foods I ate don’t agree with me or that fire is hot.
We are ALL natural learners barring neurological and physical impairment. We can learn anything. The humans species demonstrates time and time again, anecdotally that we can learn to do anything and to like anything. We do and enjoy some of the most bizarre things. We are natural learners but our experience in our educational facilities with mandated federal and state programs favoring global test results and percentages over actual learning and skill acquisition are less than satisfactory. That is sad. Our educational system emphasizes the wrong things memorization over ability. Socialization over personal betterment. Test results over actual results.
Well on to actual learning and acquisition.
Many people know about the following phases of behavioral acquisition: Unconscious Incompetence to Unconscious Competence. I will briefly cover these for those who don’t or as a refresher.
We begin with Unconscious Incompetence (UI) which means we do not know what we do not know. Prior to being exposed to a bicycle we didn’t know they existed nor did we know we could or couldn’t ride one. We were incompetent at the task, at knowing about it and unconscious of all of it.
Conscious Incompetence is when we realize we aren’t able to do it. We look at someone riding and we know we can’t. We hop on a bike and fall over. We haven’t learned the skills to ride it yet and we know we are not good at it. We can not successfully ride the bike.
Conscious Competence is the phase of learning where we attempt to co-ordinate all that we must to to successfully complete the task. We are aware that it is difficult and we usually talk our way through it. We perform in stilted or labored fashion as we assimilate the physical and mental abilities necessary to successfully perform the task. Another way to think about it – is the training wheels phase. We can do it but not reliably well but we are on the bike.
Unconscious Competence means we have the skill set and are able to do it without walking or talking ourselves through it. We get on a bike and ride to someones’ house without thinking about the process of riding. We no longer have to monitor it and so we don’t. We ride unconsciously while our mind attends to other things, the beauty of the day, the grocery list we need to remember etc. Riding the bike has become a reliable skill and we can do other things while riding. All of the behaviors and mindset necessary to ride have become reliable and a habit.
Another example is habit formation. For those who have smoked. Many did not like the first experience of smoking. It was unpleasant and they coughed or gagged their way through it. They kept doing it, for whatever reason, it was cool, you know whatever reason there was. At some point it became a habit. It was not pleasant at first, one had to get through it, talk themselves through it, but then one day after enough repetition and time had past it became a habit. Most habits are acquired in similar fashion. You do it until it becomes a habit until it is reliable. Once reliable —
From this place we may pursue mastery of the skill set. Back to the bike example. We are now able to begin to go through the process again (somewhat modified) as we add in other skills and behaviors to enhance our abilities. We can become a stunt bike rider for example. Each new skill requires the process. While on the road to mastery it is not one steep curve. We progress toward mastery hitting plateaus where our skills seem to level out or even become less reliable for a time period.
This is an important learning time that if we embrace and accept we will go through much more swiftly. We hit plateaus because the unconscious mind takes some time to assemble and incorporate the new learnings and behaviors. While this occurs it sort of temporarily puts some of our abilities on hold. This is where we may clutch or be uncoordinated for a time being, while the unconscious puts it all together. Soon we may proceed again. It is the basis of making the learning and behaviors reliable skills. This too is a life long process. It never occurs once and is done. As long as we endeavor to be better or the best we will engage these processes.
Flow, or the concept of being in the zone is that moment when everything comes together in just the right fashion and you find yourself performing a task effortlessly. Everything is just right and you may surprise yourself with how well it worked and how well you feel about it. It occurs without thought, the unconscious takes over and voila’. Some people become junkies for these moments and it is possible to live life more in the zone or in flow when one learns how.
Obviously, there is so much more that could be discussed. The important points frankly are, learning is solely in the hands of the learner. This is why attitude is so important. The better the attitude one has when learning anything new or practicing a skill, or studying material the easier it is to progress and gain benefit. A key component is learning HOW TO get out of one’s own way and learn more easily, efficiently and swiftly.
Curiosity, enthusiasm, energy, confidence that you can learn it, that you are apt and able to acquire it (not that you are already good at it) are desirable. The ability to remain open and willing. One of the disadvantages about book learning is that people are exposed mentally to concepts without getting actual experience. They see it in their mind, they are pre-exposed but they haven’t actually done it yet. Reading a book about bike riding is very different than actually riding a bike.
Still, when it comes to reading an important self-help book etc you should re-read it many times. If it is being doing a hands on seminar or learning a skill like juggling then reading a book has more value after the life experience. There is a ‘best’ time to read when it comes to learning things. Because we are people, thought, we read whenever we do. That is just how life is and we come to it when we come to it. So….
Realize that you can enhance your knowledge and abilities with supplemental reading and listening and by doing. Revisiting and correct repetition is always valuable. I say correct repetition because one can practice the wrong things, or the right things the wrong way.
If a person reads a book prior attending a seminar on how to ride a bike, chances are, as the instructor brings up points the novice bike rider book reader may have the tendency to think, ‘yep, I know that already’. Why do they think this? Because they read about it. Can they ride the bike yet? Nope, but they know ALL ABOUT bike riding.
This is a form of closure in the brain. It isn’t the curiosity and wonder of a child who is wide eyed and thinks ‘wow this is marvelous, I want to be able to do that’. The two attitudes are very different, significantly different and get different results for the people who hold them. Being open is an incredible place to be when learning and when being with a ‘teacher’. If when someone says something, you agree or disagree with it first thing, chances are you are not open. You have judged immediately based on what YOU know. It hasn’t even sunk in yet.
This is why mystics and gurus have such a tough time with devotees. Okay, I wrote that tongue in cheek, but it is also true. A learner filled with their own knowledge is difficult to overcome. This is why it is never about teaching but about learning. Yes, if you are a teacher you have a responsibility and should strive to be the best, but the same is true when you are a learner.
As I have pointed out in my blog posts here we frequently misidentify the source of our difficulties. We put responsibility outside ourselves on others, circumstances and events. We blame the poor or the rich, the government or lack of it, our spouse, significant other, children, parents, bosses, co-workers or friends, even strangers for our feelings, talents, abilities, problems. We put the cause of everything on everything outside us and never where it usually belongs which is squarely on our own shoulders. The buck always stops elsewhere. That is one of the reasons why we have difficulties.
We are not broken, we are not psychologically impaired, (except in truly rare cases, although the APA, and the AMA would like us to believe we need their help MORE than we actually do require – but this is another whole discussion for another time and place). We are resourceful people with all sorts of discovered and undiscovered talents and abilities who probably for the most part have not considered ourselves as such. Learn to look inside and find your hidden treasures!
If you had a million dollars in your own pocket and didn’t know it you might still live as a pauper.
That is how most of us go through life. Because we put the blame for the good and the bad outside of ourselves we never get to discover how truly remarkable and beyond capable we are to make a change for ourselves. We are the creators and the transformer of our lives but we don’t know it so we live from what others have dictated. We live up to or below the expectations of others without realizing that it is ourselves who need to set the path and make good things happen.
We live as victims and survivors. A survivor is someone who made it through a tremendously difficult time period whatever that may have been. OKAY it is past now you have survived move on. I hate to be harsh or sound cruel but to call yourself a survivor is like moving to a new home but carrying around all your belongs on your back all your days. Imagine the weight that would be if you bagged up all your furniture and everything and had to take it with you where ever you go. Stop it. You survived that means you made it through it.
NOW live as a victor because you made it through it. Adopt a new powerful mind set and recognize your incredible strength and tenacity for having prevailed. Instead of keeping surviving alive become alive with an incredible rise in energy to make your present and future incredible!
Leaners need to take charge of their learning and remaining open may be a difficult experience. Someone said ‘ we don’t listen to listen we listen to comment’ and that is frequently what those do while learning. Either they comment on how the information is something they already know or that they don’t know, or that it is just like someone else’s information, or that it is not relevant or applicable, or that it is too difficult or too easy and on and on and on and on. The mind does whatever it does unless you take charge of it.
Recognizing when you shut down, close off, IS an important moment to recognize. When you shut down is when you limit or prevent the flow of new information which may be critical. It could occur in a classroom, reading a blog or a book, arguing with someone important to you, or outside in an urban war zone. If you shut down and freeze the flow of what you may need in a critical moment, you leave yourself open to many possible pitfalls. The worst of which is when your safety depends on it, otherwise, you can pull your head from the rectal canal an apologize to the person you fought with, and you can go back and re-read the material. There are times when things matter more than other times but the skill required in each case is the same skill.
Learning to remain open is an important talent an ability we all can do much better learning to acquire.
Life presents opportunities each instant. We are either open or not open. Easy enough. We can bring our awareness to those moments and endeavor to remain open. Yes, we will close down, but the repeated act of trying to remain open is the beginning of new positive habit formation. You will be consciously competent for a while. The very same thing applies to living as a victor and taking charge of your life. Yes, for awhile the process will seem cumbersome. So did riding a bike for a while.
Anything we learned took some time and effort. Swimming, cooking, knitting, playing a sport, a game, fixing a car, computer, doing math, reading, writing, walking and feeding oneself. Everything is acquired through a process and we can either understand and embrace the process and make it easier on ourselves or we can resist it. Choice is ours.
Some people have little experience in making deliberate choices for themselves and they defer mostly to others. This is another area people may want to gain some experience utilizing awareness. When do you give your choice or your power away?
Through all of our learning the nicer we can be, the less we blame others or try to take from others, the further along we get. Learning how to co-operate and be a team player, learning how to empathize and to add value to others are are very good abilities to work on. Unlike, some greedy, horrible, uber rich people who care for no one but only seek to amass more, we ought to strive to find peace and happiness and well being for all. I believe that the more power you have the more responsibility you have The more power you have the more other people are in your care. The more good you can and should do.
Look, it rains on the good and the bad the poor and the rich. Good people suffer while bad people prosper and vice versa. The reason many powerful people, who are not very good people, continue to be unlikable and uncaring people, aside from that may be how they were when they began, is that they have a massed a fortune. They most likely did so utilizing the very principles I have been sharing all along because the principles work and are no respecter of persons. That means anyone can use them for success. (yes, some were born to it etc).
Some have great success and yet they are not likable or caring people. Once they got their wealth and power they changed, not for the better, but changed because now that they had everything they decided they needed to keep it. They cling to it. IT is more important that any person. They feared they will lose IT or others will take it away so they try to prevent others from succeeding so they can’t take away some piece of their pie. If they can remain further ahead and farther away it is unlikely anyone can take it from them. SO they oppress others to try to remain safe.
I think that is a sad way to live and many of them are unhappy, fearful, and unhealthy. Since we can’t take it with us we ought to enjoy it while we have it. Many don’t actually enjoy it they just need to have it and it has cost them dearly too. Their thoughts destroy them.
Thinking makes it so. We become what we think about.
An important point to note. The successful wealthy people, good or bad, generous or selfish, self made or born to it, those who have had wealth a long while, most all of them feel and believe that they are entitled to it and that they deserve it. This is important. Many of the rest of us don’t. That is a crucial difference in mind set and attitude. They are entitled. They deserve it.
Some of the rest of us waste time whining, complaining, criticizing the wealthy stating they were lucky, or born with a silver spoon. We may be resentful or envious non of this helps us. That is putting the focus outside of us on others or circumstances. What we think about is what we get. If we waste time on others wishing bad befalls them or being resentful we are not spending time making our life better. We need to focus on creating what we want!
It is important to note that WHEN you feel entitled to it and YOU FEEL you deserve it that you will be successful in acquiring it much more so than if you do not have this attitude.
Attitude is everything! What sets most people apart – the successful from those who are not yet successful – is mind set. It is the attitude. If you have the attitude that you are destined to win you are much more likely to as long as you spend the time preparing to win. It is not magical thinking. It is not about wishing something into existence. The rich feel that money comes to them or that they deserve and because they feel this way and absolutely believe it they are able to organize their thoughts and efforts around getting it much more easily. It is MIND over matter.
Mind over matter is the concept but not as most people consider it. They think magic, telepathy, telekinesis.
It is the mind, the thoughts, that precede actions, which are all targeted toward acquiring wealth (the matter) just as a laser beam is targeted. Their mind and actions their being is aligned and congruent in pursuit of what is most important to them. They deserve it so they know they will have! They deserve it so they know that they can get it. They are entitled to it so they can get more of it. WHY? BECAUSE that is just the kind of person they are! ONE who is entitled to have and to spend money. THIS IS a powerful mindset let us not make any mistake about that. This type of mind set positively and constructively managed and aimed could serve anyone of us well. Attitude makes all the difference.
The fact of the matter is you and I and they all deserve it. There is plenty. We are all legally entitled to it. If you don’t feel worthy or that you can have it then that is something to become aware of and change if you wish. By the way I do not equate having lots of money with being a success or happy or good. However, our society seems to think that money is a measure of success. I don’t but I do utilize the concept.
I think one can be happy and successful without money as well as one can be with money. I also think one can have untold wealth and be a failure as a human being, as a parent as someone’s child, or anything else. Attitude is everything! We can have a powerful mindset without having to be greedy or selfish. We can have everything we want and allow others to do the same or even help them get theirs too.
BUT the winner mindset is key. It is committed, it believes, it feels entitled, it is passionate, it has burning desire, it won’t quit or be defeated or ever give up, it is consistent, persistent yet adaptable and flexible. It stays the course and does whatever is necessary (legally and ethically) to get to the destination. IF one is extra wise one makes sure they enjoy the journey along the way. If you know the wonderful destination point you are going to ultimately end up you may as well have a great time getting there!
The important thing is wealth and success comes in the form of love, family, friendship, relationships, happiness, joy, peace, health and well being, fun, activities doing what you want, when and with whom. Freedom to enjoy and pursue whatever you wish. Money may be a part of success but certainly only a limited part. Money is not evil and anyone can want any amount they wish. People may be evil or corrupted or kind and generous. So I think it is important to be the kind of person who is a kind and generous success. After all we all live together on this planet.
Before, I leave you this day, know that repetition builds skill. The right kind of repetition done correctly builds skill.
Revisiting and returning to materials you have read, listened to, watched or participated in is valuable because it gives you more chances to open up and take it in. You understand it differently at different times. So go back and read again and again. You will make new connections and have new insights and awareness.
Keep the pursuit alive in you. Learn to open up to those things that benefit you. Learn to remain open with others and make it a point to live as a victor. BUT be a nice victor. Strive to be the kind of person who leaves people better off than when you found them.
There is plenty in this world to enjoy and to be grateful for. Enjoy it all, you deserve it.
The hoarders can’t get it all so be of good cheer and focus on the positive future we can create not on present difficulties.
Keep the faith, know that you deserve all good things and inside you is more incredible talent or ability than you may yet be aware of. You have much more than million dollars hidden in your pocket but you need to go find it. So go look for it and discover it! ‘Seek and ye shall find’.
You have learned so many things useful and useless. You do realize that, don’t you.
So put your ability to learn to work for you. You are already a remarkable learner now just aim it in a very useful direction.
Inside you you are truly wealthy. You have so much more going on for you than you have ever realized. You current and perpetual thinking may be have kept you blind to who you actually are, what you are truly capable of and all the talents, resources and abilities within you. You have all this wealth inside but have given yourself none of the credit. You need to visit your inner bank and discover what is there. You have much more than a million dollars inside you.
You can make your dreams come true. You can make more money, you can be rich inside and outside! You can have the future you want and the life you want and be the person you always wanted to become. You are already rich within and you are a learner so learn to do what you want in order to have what you want.
Learn to discover your hidden talents, abilities and resources that are inside you ready to be awakened. Learn to manage your thoughts, control your thoughts and determine your future. Learn to finally get the kind of results you have always wanted and longed for. Learn that you are already creator and begin to create what you want rather than what you don;t want. You are a magnet so draw to yourself what you want rather than what you don’t want. Start getting the results you have always wanted because ONLY YOU can make it so.
You are a victor when you apply certain principles and laws in certain ways you transform and get what you want more easily. SO start living as a victor. Live with courage, confidence, faith, and power. Make your life what you want it to be.
Come back again and again. Revisit your learning and you will go further than you can presently imagine. Hold in your mind good, positive thoughts and you will transform your experience. Keep going and never quit and you will be so amazed at the journey you create for yourself. It will more than WOW you. And then share all good things with others too.
Let’s make each of our own lives incredible and together create a garden paradise, I mean why not. Let’s make this world wonderful!
Oooops who closed down right there?
If you don’t think we can certainly we never will. ‘Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right’.
You see, it really does begin with our thoughts. It begins with YOUR thoughts. Each of us responsible for what we do between our ears. What we do between our ears is create our outer circumstances. SO decide to make both the very best.” Rex Sikes
More tomorrow. Have a delicious day!
Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude! Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.
Rex Sikes' Daily Inspiration and Gratitude 