Power Words: How Can I Help You?

correct your mind the rest will fall into place

“The longer I have lived and the more I have experienced the more I realize that being there for one another is what living is all about. We look for meaning and purpose. We have been called ‘meaning makers’ and ‘time binders’ by anthropologists. We seek inside ourselves and outside ourselves for ‘something’ greater.

We have our sciences, our stories, our philosophies, our religions to inform us and comfort us. Few of us successfully live alone and solitary confinement is considered a very cruel inhumane form of punishment. Why might these things be so?

Because we as a species band together. From earliest times of bands and tribes and groups we form ties and have worked, played, loved and moved together. With the  rise industrial revolution people began to leave their clans, their burrows, their neighborhoods, travel far and seek employment and their dreams in other neighborhoods. From one place to another place they journeyed. Landing in a new area they formed new ties. Cities grew larger.

So what am I getting at with all this? We are social creatures. We can’t really live well without one another. It is true that we seek out our own kind; we group by race, religion, economics, politics and a few other factors.

We ostracize by these same factors. We gather, support, defend based on mostly mentally manufactured distinctions. ‘They look the same as me’ okay part of my group. They look different not part of my group. ‘They think the same as me’; my group. They think otherwise, not part of my group. And on and on.

People do categorize each other as part of the ‘in group’, or not. This is unfortunate that as a people we have not all successfully learned to get along and accommodate our differences. Still, it is the current way of the world. We have to learn how to live together without prejudices and looking for those elements that could separate us. We need to seek harmony, acceptance, and embrace our differences.

you are a living magnet

I think we can move toward embracing all and become one people, one world even if there is a lot of resistance toward that from various mindsets. The world is still divided and may be for sometime or forever. My point is we band together. Like groups attract like groups. We don’t live alone. We need each other and we seek each other out and form ties.

Since we need each other one of the most powerful ways to create strong ties IS to assist each other. When we help each other we grow closer to each other.We create bond. Not only is that important but when you or I help another person learn to do something, overcome a difficulty or accomplish something important to them we not only help THAT person but we help ourselves too! We grow together independently. We make them and we make ourselves feel better!

There are those in the world who don’t want to help. They want to own, to have and to protect what they claim is theirs and ostracize and blame others. I get that. I don’t think that helps them live more wonderful lives but I get their reasoning. I can empathize with their thinking and their potential fears.

I also think and believe and operate from ‘what we think about we bring about’. The more we fear the more we have to fear and are more fearful. The more we love and accept the more we have to love and accept. I do not believe we have a more peaceful world by engaging in more wars. We have a more peaceful world when we all embrace being peaceful.

People band together so supporting each other and helping each other makes sense. Some religions are founded on and practice helping others. They believe in helping those like us and those unlike us. Therefore, I return to The Golden Rule which I have come to believe is one of the most important concepts and practices we can embody. It truly is an incredible and important practice to begin to understand and apply.

‘Do unto others as you would have others do unto you’. Treat others the way you prefer to be treated. Hey, most all of us, dare I say, all of us, want love, acceptance, kindness, life, liberty, happiness and more good things. We want connection, we want health, wealth and well being. We want family and friends. We want meaning and a sense of significance.  We want to be liked. We want to be understood and loved.

what we project we perceive

We want to be important to each other. We don’t want isolation, rejection, fear, famine or  poverty. We want to mean something to each other, to have a sense of dignity and productivity. I think most people want these things. They want peace, joy and community.

So to treat each other this way first IS what the golden rule is about. What we think about we bring about so it begins with out thoughts. How we think about others is important! We need to think the best, the highest, the finest even when that may be most difficult. Why? BECAUSE that is what the golden rule is about.

YOU treat others HOW you want to be treated. What do you want? Do you want to be identified as unacceptable and as a less than desirable person? Do you want to be rejected, isolated devalued and discarded? DO you want to be treated in any of these ways? I doubt it. How we think about others IS important and it speaks volumes about who we are, what we believe and what we do or practice.

Everything ALL begins with out thoughts. What we think about we become. If we think less of others much of the time how are we helping anyone or anything be better? If we refuse to think positively about anyone or a situation how are we helping anyone or anything become better? We aren’t lifting anything up if we are busy in our minds tearing it down. So how we think and what we think IS critical!

What we say and do is equally important. We should make it a point to never say or do anything that doesn’t bless, heal or prosper ourselves and one another. If we keep this in mind we actively seek and work to better ourselves and those around us.

We can get more of we want by helping others get more of what they want and need. We work together to bring us all to a higher more respectable place. We work together peacefully to bring about peacefulness. Can you understand this? We only elevate the world when we think, speak and behave that way.

what u put out u attract

We concentrate on what we want to experience more of and then we help ourselves and each other have more of it. We make our lives and the world much more wonderful when we co-operative and help each other. True, some may resist your help, may not want your help, may resent your help but love them and embrace them and accept them even when they do. That is the higher road. Do not judge.

Perhaps, that is what is meant by ‘turn the other cheek’. When we are rebuffed, belittled, rejected, despised, hurt, attacked or abused maybe we should still find a way to forgive and love those who have done harm to us because when we are able to do that we are free. We are free to live and love others and ourselves without the baggage of vengeful thoughts. If we live hating others we contaminate our own experience. We need to find a higher way to think, and be and act that serves us in the most positive ways.

So some of the most powerful words you may speak to another person whether a close family member, friend, associate or stranger may be ‘How can I help you?’ People around us may be going through some tough times and the best way you may be able to demonstrate care, love, acceptance and support is to offer to help without judgement.

Wouldn’t you like it if someone offered assistance to you when times are tough AND they don’t judge you or make you feel less than glorious when doing so? Think ‘higher purpose’. Keep this in mind; what can I think, do and say that will bless, heal and prosper myself and others?

When you help others you do help yourself. Research demonstrates that helping others, giving back, paying forward can increase your own sense of purpose and overall self-satisfaction. When you freely volunteer to help without conditions or expecting payback you are uplifting your own soul. You can help those close to you and you can also choose to volunteer in your community or to a cause you feel is important.

Whenever you can relieve suffering of another person; a child, someone elderly, a friend or stranger it makes you feel good does it not? Doesn’t it make you feel better whenever you are able to relieve the suffering of an animal? Whenever you help to put s smile on another person’s face it makes you smile more, doesn’t it. You feel good when you help others feel good, don’t you?

what u put out u get back

According to Todd Farchione, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist at Boston University’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders he states that JUST offering to support someone is a good way to support them. ‘If you really want to help somebody, then the way you should go about it is to ask yourself if you can be supportive of the individual in a way that allows them to tell you about what they’re experiencing and why they may be experiencing that.’

So maybe the words, ‘Can I help you’ or “How can I support you in this’ are some of the most important words you can say. One of the most important things you can then DO is to LISTEN and absolutely accept what they say. DON’T argue, or instruct, or reject, don’t insist, simply listen, accept and take their side. Support them in the way they ask to be supported. If and when it is appropriate perhaps you can help in additional other ways.

I think most people WANT to be heard and understood. Sometimes they want to be accepted even when they act bizarre because they simply want someone to love and care for them anyway. So listen and respond to them and their actual needs and what they say they are.

Don’t project on them what you think they need or what they need to understand about their problem or issue. Accept and lift them up. After all, wouldn’t you want someone to approach you and accept you for who you are? Don’t you want someone who would listen carefully to you and support you because they care about you? Wouldn’t you prefer that they not judge you? I know I sure do.

I think we create a more loving, peaceful and wonderful world when we do this even in small ways. I do think it helps pay it forward and it contributes to everyone overall. The more we each take responsibility to live peacefully, lovingly, helpful, joyfully the more contagious good things become. The more we are able to contribute first to others unconditionally the more good things we create or generate. The big key is unconditional giving. No one likes stings attached to anything.

What we resist persists. Fighting war with war only makes more of the same. So the choice is each of ours to make. What do we want to create, attract and have more of? We know what we want to eliminate. We will eliminate it faster by attracting more of what we want  than by fighting what we don’t want.

The Golden Rule is a way we change the world person by person. We think, speak and act only in ways that bless, heal and prosper. When we do this we help others ANDt we help ourselves, immensely. We help everyone when we actively ‘go first’. When we live our lives with love and well being in our hearts we help make the world a much more enjoyable place. So live, love, laugh and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate your day! Make it meaningful!

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2 thoughts on “Power Words: How Can I Help You?”

  1. I agree with you 100 percent. If you would like some friendly advise from an Editor? Shorten your stuff a bit. As a famous author has said: “People don’t READ anymore. They Skim” or Dan Kennedy. “Brevity. Brevity. Brevity. Always be shortening” ~~ Not a Sermon. Just a Thought. I tweet at PronetworkBuild

    Like

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