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How To Keep Yourself From Losing It & Have A Happier Life

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“Do you have any of those moments when you know you are about to lose it? You may blow your top or crumple in a heap of tears. Are there times when you realize you are worrying unnecessarily but haven’t been able to control it? Perhaps, you are stressed and overwhelmed or you got hooked into an argument and you would rather be free?

If yes, to any of these unwanted feelings, or other ones you may experience from time to time, there IS something you can do to make it different. You can make it better and even prevent it. Wouldn’t you like to know what you can do?

You can learn to be different if you will practice what I share with you in this blog.

You can do it easily in the privacy of your own home. In a short while you will notice yourself responding more productively and positively and your life changing for the better.

Sometimes, the best way to learn new methods is in seminars or workshops, or one on one, with a coach or a guide where you can practice the process in advance of needing it. Working together with someone is real hands on. That is always well worth it. By having a qualified person assist you – you can learn nuances and pay attention to elements you might otherwise miss. A great coach is great to have!

In lieu of getting training you can still make the positive changes on your own inside your Inner Mental Movie Theater. Are you ready and eager to learn how? I’m going to give you some today and then more in subsequent blogs.

Today Is The Beginning Of A Process I Share With You

Once you have all the process you may want to record it so you can follow along. Today, smart phones can come in handy this way. Read through these instructions a couple of times at least. There will be more information to record another day.

Familiarize yourself with the process. Then actually do what is being asked of you. If you only read about it and do not apply it you will not experience the benefit from it. If you don’t attempt it you will never know how powerful it can be. You have to do the work to get the results you want.

First: Determine How You’d Like To Be And Feel And Behave (Respond) In Difficult Or Less Than Glorious Situations

What do you want to be like instead of doing what you do? You might want to be confident, strong, fearless, happy, loving, silly, playful, energetic, caring, calm, relaxed, thoughtful, patient, anything that is positive for you.

There are times in your past when you have felt good this way. You can recall them, remember them in your mind, and remember the feelings. For example, when you felt happy about something. Notice the feelings, where did you feel them the strongest? Aren’t they wonderful? You feel happy!

Enjoy the feelings of when you feel happy! What are you thinking? What are you saying to yourself when you are happy? How do you think about yourself in that moment? Isn’t it wonderful to feel good? How does the world look when you are happy? Maybe a bit brighter? Notice whatever you notice when feeling happy. Linger with it. Savor it. Enjoy feeling happy.

Really take time to relive the happy part of the experience. Notice and enjoy the sights, the sounds, the feelings (even taste or smells if there are any) while feeling this resourcefulness. End it or cut it off while still feeling happy. Don’t let it fizzle out.

You want your primary attention and time spent feeling the good feelings, and letting or making the good feelings intensifying during the memory. If they start to fade or diminsh cut it off, stop it, shake it off (literally shake yourself a bit) and end it. Take a few breaths and do it again. Learn to create poignant positive moments for yourself. Bookended!

It is:  Feel happy, It increases, And out!

If you were to imagine a bell curve close to the top of the bell say at 9 or 10 o’clock position would be the entry point. You feel happy. It increases or intensifies upward towards 12. Then it starts down the other side of the bell curve. Do you get it? You come in feeling happy, intensify it and exit,

Stop before it starts the downslide. This is how you teach your brain to give you what you want. You want to feel good and feel it increase.  Linger in the good feelings and when the feelings  begin to diminish exit. Wash, rinse repeat! Do it again!

Develop The Knack Of Re-living And Creating The Precise Moments You Want More Of

What is so amazing is you can use your mind to travel back to times, and places, and events and with people, or engaged in activities when and where you felt these positive feeling states. You can recall and re-live them all while sitting in your chair!

Just as when you are out somewhere and something triggers or jogs a memory in you and you enjoy revisiting it. You can deliberately do it. You summon it up. You go back and recall.

Think about, recall a time when or remember a specific place you felt happy. Maybe some activity you do makes you happy or a special person? Fox example, pick a specific instance of being with a person who you were happy with? What were you doing that made you feel happy? It could be anything, such as a sport, a conversation, seeing something happen, getting good news, being at a party. How the person looks at, speaks to or touches you. Anything!

People, Places, Activities, Time, or Things 

To help you remember you can think of people, places, activities, things, or a time when you felt these feelings. For example, think of some activity that makes you feel good. Consider,  what were you doing, who were you with, where were you?

Ask whatever questions you need to in order to recall more details from the positive memory. These questions can help make it more vivid. Ask, who, what, when, where, why and how did any of these make you feel?

Once you make this a habit you won’t have to consciously work so much. It will all come quite naturally. Search through your experiences and find them. Maybe you felt happy on a vacation. That particular place brings back happy memories. Or at home.

Any particular place, a quiet power spot no one knows about but you. Young or old. Memories from the past can be yesterday or go way, way back.

For some the smell of fresh baked bread will take them instantly to another comforting place and time. For others the smell of fresh cut grass does the same. Some people feel patriotic when they see symbols of their country. Music makes us feel many things, relaxed, loved, horny, powerful, heartbroken…

You Can And You Should Go And Find All The Wonderful Positive Memories From Your Past

You can find them. You will as you keep searching. Some are pretty available. This is an important part of self discovery and evolution.It is important to find and focus on the positive in our life more often because we become what we think about. It gives us much more to feel grateful about and celebrate.

What we think about we bring about. Birds of a feather flock together so we find that we get back more and more of what we are thinking about. Think positive!

What you are learning in this, of great importance, is that instead of remembering and reliving past disappointments and being a victim of them, or remembering past positive times with longing we can do something about it.

We don’t have to live with the hurt and the longing we can live positively happily and powerfully. We can fill our mind and being with the positive feelings, and images, and sounds of our positive experiences.

Imagine How Much More Wonderful Life Would Be If You Enjoyed More Positive moments overall.

Now you can. You can go back into your past and begin to unlock all the positive moments there are to relive and enjoy. These moments, these wonderful feelings constitute resources you can begin to use in the present and the future. You can literally transform your experience at any time.

Second: You Don’t Have To Go Back. You Can Imagine Yourself In The Future Behaving As You Want To Behave. 

The ideal you! The person who has it all together. Imagine what you would look like and sound like if everything worked out well for you. You think positive, you feel awesome, and life is grand. As you imagine that notice how this makes you feel. Feel it! Enjoy the feelings!

You can pick any one of the states. Confidence, for example. Notice how you look. The look on you face. Your eyes, your smile your confident expression. Notice how you stand, move, walk and use you body to express being confident. See how you gesture while you speak confidently and with authority.

You are confident, you are self assured, certain, powerful and positive. Watch yourself, as if on a movie screen, and notice how you feel as you enjoy yourself behaving this way. Make it absolutely wonderful. Adjust it.

Make it wonderful this is you creating it. Just as an artist paints on a canvas paint a powerful mental image of you being confident (or whichever resource). It’s you mental movie make it exactly what you want it to be. Make it outstanding! After all, this is using your brain, your mind to imagine, so imagine the very best, Spend time enjoying the marvelous feelings.

Make These Inner Mind Movies Spectacular

Make them soothing if you need them to be relaxed. Joyous when happy. I’m sure you get the concept. Spend time living in this future world. Enjoy the future you in these mental movies. Enjoy the past movie memories.

Consider where you want to be like this, when, with whom, doing what? Use the questions to focus on different times and places in your near and distant future when you want to be resourceful like this. Imagine it fully.

Two Ways Of Seeing: Recalling And Creating

There is something else you may or may not be aware of. There are two ways you can create images and you can remember in your mind. You can watch an event with you in it as if you are watching a video, or selfie of yourself. You can see you and others and the location and the circumstances as a video or movie.

The second way of seeing is through your own eyes. It is your point of view (POV). You don’t see yourself but you see what you see as if in real life. For example, in the number one way of seeing you might see yourself sitting inside a new car from the outside the car on the drivers door side. Or you might see yourself through the windshield, or windscreen of the car right there with your hands on the wheel.

In the second way of seeing you are in the car, feeling what it feels to sit in the seat, comfortable or not. Leather or otherwise. You might smell the new car smell. And you would see your hands on the steering wheel and feel yourself griping it. You’d see out the windows, the dashboard and if you look down your lap and legs.

You don’t see the entire you because what you see is what you actually see in the real world when you look out of your eyes. Your Point Of View (POV).

So there are at least these two ways to see, recall and create. You want to recall your memories first however you recall them. You want to live within them and feel and see and hear everything you are able. You want to re-experience the good feelings. Then you want to do the other way.

So whether you first begin with POV or not notice it and after awhile spending time doing it this give the other way some practice time.

Repeated Correct Practice Makes A Perfect Habit

Remember, this is practice. This is how you are going to build a positive new habit. You will enjoy this habit building. You practice daily, whenever you are able, going back and finding positive times from your past and reliving them as fully as possible. Spend dedicated time doing this. Find as many as you are able. ONE at a time.

Build your mental library of resources. Spend dedicated time going into the future and imagining yourself with all the resources you want to have. One at a time. Imagine people, places, events, activities, situations where you want more of these good feelings and resources. It can be any time, not just a difficult time but wonderful times as well.

Imagine yourself living in the future positively and resourcefully. Build a library catalog of positive future resources. Spend dedicated time doing this too. Do it also whenever you can during your day. Practice both of these using both ways of seeing. Do one at a time. POV for while. The come back later and do those over again but see it as a selfie video. Practice that for while.

Eventually, you practice and do both. In doing these exercises you are building so many positive skill sets and will develop so many positive resources and habits it will amaze and delight you.

Stop! Take a breath and relax for a moment and imagine  how fantastic life will be in the near, near future as you feel, think and act so much more resourcefully. Imagine how incredible you will feel as you tap into your inner resources more frequently and fill your daily moments in this way.

We Become What We Think About. What Consumes The Mind Controls Us

You now have the opportunity to become more happy, confident, peaceful, secure, loving, patient any way you’d like to be more of. You can feel anyone of these and all of them more frequently in your day to day. Isn’t that wonderful? It really is! The more time you spent recounting, re-feeling, recreating, re-experiencing positive memories and moments the more you get back.

SO keep going back and finding them. Find one, then find another one. Have fun finding out how many positive, resourceful moments you have actually had. Some will be real easy to discover, the ones you always remember, but as you continue to look back you will unlock and remember others you haven’t thought about in a long time.

Project into the future again and again in a variety of ways. Imagine your future, specific times and places and people you want to enjoy more. You want to have more fun, delight, and resourcefulness. Spread all the wonderful good resources and feelings throughout your future.

The byproduct of doing this is that more of you present gets filled with positivity as well. You live better right now too! Imagine, you go back transform your past by looking for the good in it, you feel great right now and start getting results you want and you code you future for all this goodness too. Pretty cool, wouldn’t you say?

Do All These Exercises In The Spirit Of Fun, Exploration, Adventure, And Play

Somethings may happen quickly or slowly it doesn’t matter stay with it playfully. Somethings happen instantly some take longer that is just how it is. Consider doing this as if you are planting a beautiful garden.

You plant the seeds and they take time to grow. Some come up sooner than others but eventually the garden appears. Relax, enjoy, keep practicing and let it happen. The benefits will be there.

Some things are simpler and easier than others just stick with it. Speak gently to yourself through all this as if you were a loving, compassionate coach helping you along. If things are tough they are tough no reason to get discouraged. Have fun, be patience, keep the faith and it will pay off.

My son told me today, that doing the top of the pyramid on a three high (three levels of water skiers on each others shoulders forming a pyramid) is scary. BUT he does it any way. He faces his fear and makes the climb and even while on top it is scary but exhilarating. Keep going, don’t let anything stop you.

There is noting to fear I only use that example because some people get frustrated if everything doesn’t occur over night and quit. You have to face the fact that somethings just take some time.

So if they do be prepared to hang in there. You will discover so much more delight than you can ever imagine if you make this daily ritual, a daily routine and practice.

You can’t even yet begin to appreciate how everything can and will transform when you apply yourself in this way. I’ll share more next time as we continue this exploration.” Rex Sikes

Find enjoyment everywhere you look today!

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Act As If, Affirmations, Attitude, Beliefs, Directed Questions™, Emotions, Energy, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Learning, Mental Movie Theater, Persistence, Personal Development, Positive Affirmations, Rehearsal And Practice, Self Talk, Visualization

How To Become A Real Winner

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invest in yourself

“What do you think and believe before going into your day? When you get up in the morning do you expect it to be a good or not so good day? Do expect to find smiles mostly or frowns?

Do you plan to be delighted or disappointed? When you play a game do you expect to win or to lose? What do you anticipate? What do you think and believe before going into it?

Do you expect traffic to be a bear or do you expect to enjoy the drive regardless? Do you expect to encounter friendly people and co-workers or ones who aggravate? Do you think of the world as a friendly wonderful place or a hard, cold, cruel one?

Will you profit during a bad economy or lose money? Are you going to book the role in that play or movie or will someone else? Are you going to do your best or not?

Your Expectations Set The Frame

According to researchers much of what happens is due to what we expect to happen. What we believe, think or expect shapes how we react or respond to that ‘reality’ out there. They also suggest that much of that outer reality is actually a reflection of what we do inside our minds. Our perceptions create our reality.

In other words, what we expect to find we may find. What we don’t expect to find we most likely won’t encounter. Yes, there may always be some surprises.

When you feel positive and expect that you are going to win you are much more likely to. When you feel positive and expect to have a great day it makes all the difference in how you experience the day.

When you are positive that you will accomplish your goal; you know in your heart and mind it is possible to do so and you anticipate making it happen, you are much more likely to.

Expect To Win

Our mindset is comprised of our beliefs of what we think is possible or not. It is made up of our attitude whether positive or negative. It is determined by our thoughts whether we think something will be easy or hard.

Positive thinking IS about finding a mindset that serves you well and helps you to feel better. The higher quality your thoughts the better you feel. The better you feel the more you can accomplish.

When you expect or anticipate the outcome you are seeing it in your mind happening as you want it to happen. You imagine it as already already done. You have it ! You see yourself winning. You see yourself as having won.

Your brain knows the outcome you desire and what to do about it when you repeatedly give it the same strong message and images over and over. That is why positively charged emotional repetition is important. Your brain accepts your feelings and images as real.

It knows how to align your inner resources for you to do your best. Your thoughts, feelings and behaviors all work together for that outcome. You are congruent. There is no worry, no doubt or fear, no split in your attention. You are of one mind – the winning mind.

It is easier to win if you expect to win. WHEN you EXPECT to win you already KNOW you are going to win. Your focus is not on winning, because that is a ‘given’, but on doing what is necessary to insure the win.

Your expectations set the frame for you to behave appropriately, to carry out the activities, in alignment with what you expect.

You can expect to win and still lose but at least you will have tried your best. Focusing on ‘I am going to lose, we are going to lose’ insures the inevitable. Focusing on what you need to do to win, knowing you are able to, makes it much more likely that you will.

If you know you can win; if you never quit but  keep on going you will.

How You Begin Winning

Use Directed Questions™ to fill your mind with positive power and energy. Direct your mind repeatedly to what it is you want. Fill your mind with questions that lead you to where you want to go. Questions are powerful because your mind continues to work on them after you ask them and it IS the natural way our minds work.

Use affirmations Affirm it to yourself. Repeat over and over that you are a winner (or whatever it is you want). Develop 5 or 10 that you repeatedly chant while feeling the best you can. Say them out load enthusiastically and powerfully. Feel wonderful while you do. Think about them when you can’t say them out loud.

Make Positive Mental Movies Make positive movies and pictures in your head and review these again. See yourself  looking, feeling and doing what  you want to be doing. Imagine the outcome you want as though you already have it. See, hear, feel everything you doing and how are you feeling when you ‘got it’. See, it, feel it, hear it.

Read and Listen to  inspirational and motivational material each day. Read whatever you are able to read. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. It is better to read less material more frequently than too much too little of the time. Read at least a page a day.

Practice Gratitude! Be grateful for where you are at. Be grateful for the progress you make. Be grateful for the challenges (muscles grow because of opposition, use the challenges as learning experiences). Celebrate and be grateful for everything. It improves your attitude and opens you up to more opportunity.

Isn’t It Difficult

Won’t it be hard? Well, if you don’t golf and you give it a try it will seem unfamiliar, difficult and you may not be very good at first. BUT if you desire to get good at golf you will do whatever it takes and you won’t stop doing those things that make you better. You will practice and play as much as you can. You will read about it watch it, get a coach and you will get better and better in time.

This is true about anything we want to do; sing, play piano, knit, ride a bike, drive, swim, play tennis, type, do mathematics, act, edit, write. It is the same process when we take control of our mind to develop a winning mindset!

Two Great Quotes

When you expect things to happen – strangely enough – they do happen. J.P. Morgan

Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you’ll be able to see farther. J.P. Morgan

You will make your dreams and your goals come about much more swiftly when all of you co-operates to bring them about. When you are congruent in your quest and all your thoughts, feelings, talents, and abilities, your resources, are aligned.

When you are of one powerful mindset, one determined attitude, you are unstoppable. You will keep going until you have what you want. The more you do, the further you go, the more you are able to do and the more you can keep on going,

Do whatever you can, even a little bit each day, to develop your attitude and turn yourself into a Can Do person and you will be surprised at how quickly it all takes hold.

Consistent, positive, correct repetition will develop the skills and habits you need to become a full time winner. Begin today and get a jump on making your dreams come true!” Rex Sikes

Have a fantastic day!

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Autosuggestion, Focus, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Happiness, Learning, Mental Movie Theater, Personal Development, Positive Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Visualization

Do This: You Must Speak This Way To Get Everything You Want!

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your mind is a garden

“How you say things to others does matter, right?  There are ways you can talk to someone that increases the likelihood you might get your way or what you want from them and then there are ways that decrease that likelihood, wouldn’t you agree? How you speak and how you approach someone matters, don’t you think?

Then why would be any different when we speak to ourselves? There are ways we can speak to insure we get what we want. There also are ways of speaking to ourselves to insure we won’t get what we want. This makes sense, right?

Speak Positively: Say What You Want

The best way to get what you want it to speak in positive terms. Phrase your language positively. Instead of pointing out what you don’t want point out what you do want.

Perhaps, you have heard this example. When you tell a child ‘don’t spill your milk’ what is the internal mental image the child has to make? The child sees herself spilling the milk.

Then what typically happens? What do you follow up with saying to the child? You typically say, ‘I told you not to spill your milk!’ Right? Because shortly after you said ‘don’t spill’ the child did.

If you tell someone, ‘don’t get mad at me’ what do they usually do? When you say ‘you never listen to me’ does it really help much. My guess, is at that point they start talking about how they do listen.

It is the same as with the example, ‘don’t think of an elephant’. Your mind responds to the language but doesn’t process the word don’t. It doesn’t take it as a command to NOT do something, it only understands what to do, ‘think of elephant’; ‘spill milk’; ‘never listen’.

It Matters What We Think And Say

How we say things to others matters! What we say to ourselves matters too! If you say, ‘don’t forget to pick up bread on the way home’ you forget just as easily as your partner does.

One way to combat this is to express both sides. If you catch yourself saying, ‘don’t forget’ then add ‘remember to get it’. ‘Don’t spill! Carry it carefully.’ This way the picture in their mind or yours is what you want it to be. You want them and you to picture what you want to have occur.

Brains work this way. They delete the negative words and take the rest as a command. This is why we need to focus on what we want and to state things in the positive. This is why we want to think positively. So that we get more of what we want to be, do and have!

While it is true that consciously you know what is meant by ‘don’t spill’ and you can successfully over ride the command and the internal image or representation to spill it, you still had to represent it to yourself. Your mind still made the pictures of you spilling it.

Your conscious mind is tiny by comparison to your unconscious, or subconscious, or other than conscious mind. You don’t want to fill your larger powerful subconscious mind with images of what you don’t want to happen for any reason. NO you want to fill this powerful mind with what you do want to happen! Get it?

Fill Your Subconscious With What You Want

You want to fill your subconscious mind with what you want to happen because your subconscious mind is a ‘servant mechanism’ or servo-mechanism. The main task it has IS to carry out and fulfill the commands you give it. What are you giving it most of the time?

Are you giving it what you want  so it can bring you more of what you want OR are you mostly focused on what you don’t want; fear, negativity, worry, lack, not having enough to make ends meet etc.

What you give it to work on it will deliver! Whichever dog you feed will live. You either plant food or poison. It is either positive or negative. Which energy ball is larger? Your positive ball of energy or your negative one? (see previous blogs for some of these references).

Phrase your language in the positive. Instead of saying, ‘don’t be late’ say ‘please be on time’. Get it? Instead of saying, ‘I’ll never lose weight’ say ‘I can eat healthy foods and feel proud.’ or ‘The more healthy I eat the more I feel great’. or ‘I can reach my ideal weight through right eating and exercising and feeling good’.

When you speak to yourself and others don’t blame, criticize or whine. Don’t point out what is wrong, what you don’t like or don’t want. Look for what is good and what is right, what you enjoy, what you want more of.

Speak Only To Bless, Heal And Prosper

Point out these things. Always speak only to bless, heal and prosper others and yourself. Keep you talk with others and your self-talk positive.

Tell your brain precisely what you want it to do, to pay attention to and to give you more of. Direct it positively by using positive language. Direct it by telling it what you do want. This is what affirmations are about.

Make the right mental images in your head so your brain knows what you want it to do. DO it over and over again until it becomes an automatic habit, second nature so you don’t have to think about it. Then you will be creating more of what you want more of the time and less of what you don’t want less of the time.

Do you get it? You become what you think about most often! You get what you focus on. What you think about you bring about. The dog you feed is the dog that lives! You reap what you sow. If you plant images in your head of what you don’t want and then you get that you really shouldn’t be surprised or dismayed.

Own Your Mind Own Your Behavior

Take control of your own mind and behavior. Put a guard before your lips and be careful what you think and say to yourself and others. Whatever you are thinking about and talking about you are bringing about. You are always creating!

So if you don’t like what you have, where you are at, your circumstances  or results you need to change what you are doing, saying and focused on to get the ones you do want.

Don’t delay Do it today! See how that works? Both sides represented. Always remember to direct your mind toward what you want it to do. Keep it simple.

As you would speak to a child;’walk carefully’. You wouldn’t say ‘navigate well the horrendous pitfalls along the walkway maintaining your balance by placing your center of gravity in such a way…’ you would say, ‘walk carefully’, or ‘walk tall’ or ‘stand up straight’ or ‘smile more’. or ‘think happy thoughts’. Keep it simple.

Be direct! Be positive. Speak in positive terms. Think positive. Fill your mind and hours with positivity and notice how wonderful your life becomes. Pay attention and delight in all the good things you notice. Celebrate and be filled with gratitude and your life will become beyond amazing!” Rex Sikes

How incredible can this day be?

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Affirmations, Attitude, Autosuggestion, Creating The Future, Directed Questions™, Emotions, Expectations, Focus, Habit Formation, Happiness, Mental Movie Theater, Neuro Linguistic Programming, NLP, Personal Development, Positive Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Rehearsal And Practice, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Success, Visualization

Do This Whenever You Are Nervous: It Will Help Immensely!

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fun to do the impossible

“Do you ever get nervous in public? Do you have difficulty speaking or performing in front of others? Are you afraid to meet new people? Perhaps, sometimes you are just jittery what can be done about it?

Since we are on the subject of Directed Questions™ and how we can direct the mind in useful ways to get the desired results or outcomes we want I thought I would share this article I published years ago.

Originally, it was a post to a Inet group. I was writing to help someone overcome performance jitters or anxiety around being in front of a group of people or an audience.

I work with actors, speakers, attorneys, doctors, educators and people from all walks of life. As I recall, this was a magician but this process, my method, applies to everything we do. I hope you enjoy this article. I hope you will begin using Directed Questions™ to make an incredible difference for yourself.

First Performance Jitters

By Rex Sikes

You are getting some good advice here from fellow performers, know your routine well, jitters are normal, etc. All sound advice. Heed it.

What I additionally do is ask myself positive productive questions which lead my mind in the direction I want it to go in.

‘For example, I ask myself questions like ‘Just how surprised and delighted I will be to discover myself having a marvelous time?’

‘In how many different ways can I discover myself delighted and excited at having the opportunity to perform?’

‘How much fun can I stand and in how many ways will I find myself enthused?’

‘How easily can I discover my sense of humor (or whatever) and how much I love performing?’

‘In how many different ways can I excite and entertain the audience, and have them have fun and enjoyment?’

‘In how many different ways can I feel and express my enthusiasm for entertaining?’

‘How quickly will I discover an ever increasing sense of confidence arising in me to the point where I feel totally incredible about this wonderful opportunity to amaze and delight strangers?’

‘How many new friends can I make as a result of this opportunity?’

These are just a few brief sample questions you can ask yourself – or develop your own.

I use questions like these questions to fill my mind. You see when you ask a question your mind goes in search of an answer. It knows what to look for since we grow up asking questions. The problem with most of us is that we have asked crappie questions of ourselves and others.

So I use good positive questions to stimulate my mind to search for answers which I already presuppose to be there. (understanding language presuppositions which occur naturally in English or any native speaker’s language is most beneficial).

For example, I already assume to have a delightful experience. The question I ask is ‘how quickly I can recognize the delight? OR ‘in how many ways I will discover myself feeling delighted or find myself thinking positive happy thoughts?’

OR ‘what is the first thing I will appreciate about myself when I discover myself already behaving in that fashion, or will I tell myself when I suddenly find that I have behaved in that fashion?’ ‘Where will I feel the delight most in my head, heart, chest etc.?’

I presuppose (or assume) I will have it then I ask how I will manifest it or recognize it or act, speak, think or see regarding it.

In other words, I want to get my brain to work for me. I want to say things like ‘I wonder how quickly I will realize how excited I am’ (rather than I’m nervous). Notice also I am not make affirmations – in other words I am not claiming something to be the case when it is not – I am posing questions in a particular fashion, which directs the mind and doesn’t set up conflicts with what you know to be true.

For example, some people make affirmations like “I am my ideal weight’ when clearly they are not and everything including the mirror tells them otherwise. However, if you ask ‘How quickly can I discover myself maintaining my ideal weight, losing weight easily and enjoying all the right foods in the right amounts?’

AND ‘How happy will I be to discover myself just naturally eating healthier and shedding the pounds?’ your brain doesn’t know the exact answer, and you haven’t given it anything to conflict with. You have simply lead it along the lines with least resistance.

The cool part about brains is they really do look for the answers when questions are asked. So I use my brain to program the behaviors I want. Including calm relaxed confidence, quite assurance and the energetic and dynamic appeal needed for entertaining maximally.

Now notice I didn’t ask a question searching for a particular answer such as ‘what is the capital of Montana’ or ‘on what day at what time will all this make sense to me?’

I ask questions in an open ended fashion, like – ‘even though I don’t feel totally comfortable with this yet, how quickly can I begin to discover myself beginning to relax and feel calm and confident?’ AND ‘where can I begin to put my attention which will be most useful for me in discovering how truly talented I really am?’

‘How quickly can I begin to find myself truly recognizing just how wonderful I am and how lucky I am to be able to share myself and my talents with an audience of twenty or thirty friends?’

See again, I lead my mind where I want it to go and then I fill it with these positive thoughts morning, noon and night AND especially when driving.

I have been doing this for close to twenty years so for me it has been second nature for nearly as long.

I also use my quiet time (or else I purposely make some quiet time 3 – 5 minutes at a time a few times through out the day) to imagine or picture what I want happening, beginning to see myself behaving in the manner I wish to behave in and then ask myself questions about ‘how quickly I can already find myself behaving like this?’, AND ‘what I will see, hear or tell myself or feel as I continue to successfully engage in these positive behaviors?’

Now it is important to do this throughout the days in advance of when you need it. Repeatedly fill your mind with powerful positively phrased questions and positive internal imagery and wonderfully positive feelings of anticipating doing well, even beyond your wildest expectations.

Continue to practice your routines and let the questions and mental work you do make you excited about the event. Remember, you have the opportunity to dazzle new found friends and acquaintances. It is really a marvelous opportunity.

There is much I do for myself and as a performance coach. People who have used and tested my methods do exceedingly well. And I have years and years of very happy satisfied people who have learned to run their own brains to benefit them in powerful ways.

So take all the good advice, use it, practice your routine, fill your mind with useful positive thoughts and go out there and give them one heck of an incredible performance!!!!

Be well and enjoy!!! Rex Sikes
Whether or not you perform professionally as an actor, comedian, magician, acrobat, public speaker or not you can use Directed Questions™ to help you in whatever you want to do.

Whether it is feel happier, get some rest, be more confident, have more energy, eat right, maintain your ideal weight, save more money WHATEVER it is you want you can use Directed Questions™ to help make your dreams and goals come true. SO, why not discover how incredibly powerful these questions are when you begin today? Rex Sikes”

How surprised and delighted might you be to discover the many magical moments that make up today?

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Affirmations, Creating The Future, Emotions, Expectations, Focus, Habit Formation, Mental Movie Theater, Persistence, Positive Affirmations, Rehearsal And Practice, Self Talk, Success, Uncategorized, Visualization

The Secret To Making Visualization Work For You!

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suzanne somers visualization quotes

“We are told to visualize our goals but how are we supposed to do this? Is there a secret to making visualization work? What if we we don’t see our pictures clearly does it matter? Can we still succeed?

You Can Get What You Want With Visualization

It seems for eons the emphasis has been in the wrong place. It has been on the image one is supposed to see or make. Yes, you make an internal representation of what it is that you want to be, do or have. You represent in your mind what is absolutely important to you.

We have said ‘visualize it’ and for some they can easily do this. For others, they have more difficulty. They can better hear the voices, or the sounds. Others can more easily experience the feelings. Some do all three without issue. Plus, they might experience tastes and smells.

Whatever you do is okay. Yes, you can develop the ability with which you experience each sense through deliberate practice. Dedicated repetition will make the sense more available, alive and realistic.

It is true we do what is easiest or most comfortable for us. If you haven’t spent much time deliberately visualizing it may not be as easy for you as someone else, at first. With time it can be. Practice it and you will get better at it.

Practice Developing Your Senses

I recommend you practice developing each sense so you have a richer and more varied inner imagination or ‘day dream’ life. In fact, if you see your dreams, at any time, you do see your images. The easiest way to develop the skill is a little bit at a time and with positive expectations and praise. Never get down on yourself.

Look around your room, pick a corner and recreate it in your mind. Look at a simple picture or drawing and close your eyes and re-trace it on the inside. Listen to someone speak or some music and replay it in your head. Imagine the voice of a loved one saying wonderful things to you. Replay sounds you hear from daily life.

Run your hand across some fabric or item and get a sense of doing that on the inside. Hold something in your hand, notice the texture, the weight, the space it takes. Remove it and recreate the sensations. There are many ways to create on the inside what you experience outside.

You can imagine a red box (or any other color) and the change the color. Change the shape to a pyramid and change the color again and the shape again and the color. Have it grow larger, smaller, spin, flatten like a pancake, expand, fly way off into the distance, zoom back in again. Practice creating odd images. You can include sounds and feelings too.

Imagine a giraffe with a monkey on its back flying over our house shouting ‘yipee kiyay!’ Picture a blue elephant eating balancing on a stop and go light eating an ice cream cone. Create different weird, funny, wonderful images and scenarios to enjoy.

Make pictures of loved ones, favorite vacation spots, memories that are important, meaningful and wonderful for you. Just spend five or so minutes daily (or longer if you are able to) and soon your inner world will be richer with images, sounds and feelings.

The Really Important Ingredient

Still, if all you saw was a vague notion of what you wanted that is fine. Might it be better if it were crystal clear, it might be, but not enough to get upset over. The true point of visualizing is NOT so much what you see inside BUT rather what you feel when you are ‘seeing’ it.

The real key to visualizing and creating your dreams and your reality are the feelings above and beyond the pictures. The feelings, how you feel, while you hold the images in your mind drive the show! The feeling you have is the most important!

It is important to feel great! What you want should excite you, make you eager to have it. It should be something to feel absolutely passionate about. Pictures and words (affirmations) don’t have much punch, much power of affect if that is all they are, pictures and words. It is how good you feel while picturing and affirming that count!

The better you feel the easier and faster you create! This IS the secret and I will share more in my future blogs. You can create your reality and be, do and have anything you want. You can make it happen.” Rex Sikes

Have a fabulous today!

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Act As If, Affirmations, Attitude, Blessings, Creating The Future, Focus, Getting Over The Past, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Happiness, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Talk

You Need To Be The Author Of Your Own Life!

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focus on possibilties make it happen

“You could be limiting yourself and preventing you from living the life you truly want to live! Are you aware of that? You should find out if what you are doing is not only keeping you from your dreams and goals but keeping you from the good life right now.

What is your story? What are you telling others about who you are and what your day is like? You need to become aware of the story you want versus the story you keep telling.

You must choose carefully the story you want to tell because what you recount to others during your day is keeping you in your current reality. What you re-live in your mind and speech is who you are. If you talk about being stuck you remain stuck.

People spend much of their time regurgitating what has happened. They share all their disappointments and failures. They re-live over and over again the miseries from their past and present and wonder why they can’t get away from them.

I’ve said it before; you won’t get rich focused on being poor. You don’t get positive by thinking negative. You can’t move forward looking backward. You can’t be happy when all you do is complain. You won’t change if you blame others and circumstances for your problems.

You can’t live a rich, awesome, joyful and blessed life if you whine, complain, blame and recount disappointment and failures at the water cooler, over the cubby wall, at bars and restaurants, and dinner with your family. What you tell over and over again to others is what makes up your present reality.

In order to get away from it you need to tell the story that you want to be living.  You need to focus on the little things that you are grateful for. It is far more powerful and life changing to find and be thankful for something tiny than to be insincere in your gratitude.

You should discuss blessings, solutions, positive aspects of daily living. You can share how you did get over a problem and what did do that made a difference without spending a lot of time focused on the problem itself. Think about and talk about how your life IS the way you want to be. Discuss what you would be feeling and doing  if life were perfect.

Until you tell that story you’re stuck in the old story. You need to change the script you live from and share with others! You are the author of your life! Take charge and write the story, script it, how you want it. Take control. Don’t let it happen to you and then re-tell what happened that you didn’t want. That is being silly and foolish.

A woman came to me for coaching, not too long ago, complaining. She wanted life to be better and could not understand why she wasn’t making the progress she desired. I listen. It was easy to realize her focus was on everything that was wrong.

She felt weak and it was easy to see when she ‘shared everything she just had to get off her chest’ that it sapped her of her power.  She literally talked herself into feeling bad by what she chose to talk about. Many of us do this. Many who come for coaching have similar issues.  What we think about we bring about.

Gently, I told her she needed to re-write her speech. She had to author a new story. Instead of focusing on what she did not want and what was not right she needed to start talking about all that was right and what she did want.  I asked her to be detailed and specific so she could clarify and get it straightened out.

I told her in order for her to have the happy life she wanted she needed to live it in her imagination first and then share all the good thoughts and feelings she had when she spoke. She needed to focus on the good experiences of the day AND not the circumstances that got her down.  Living powerfully begins inside us first.

Before you know it she became happier and healthier and wealthier. Her life dramatically improved in a very short period of time. For some it happens quickly for some others it takes a little longer. She changed, because for the first time in a long time, someone told her it didn’t have to be the way she understood it.

She didn’t have to live crap over and over again. She could shift her focus away from troubles and onto blessings. I told her she could be what she wanted to be. I listened, I understood, I saw what was easy to see, and I recommended she take responsibility.

She did and she made  the changes with her new mindset. She now practices being positive! She shares positive stories and blessings without sounding like she has stepped out of a greeting card. She has made new habits of  choosing how she is feelings by what stories she is living from.

She understood she IS the author of her experience and she can write what she wants to live and be. Presently, she’s well on her way to a glorious new future. She understands that outlook and attitude, how we use words and what we think and share all day long, is what we become.

If you aren’t living the life you want? What do you think about and talk about most of your days. Instead of letting life happen to you and then talking about what you don’t like change where you put your attention. Be the victor not the victim. Don’t re-live wounds.

Focus more on what you want more of and less on what you don’t want. Realize you are the author of your life, take charge and write the life you want to live. Do it today! Don’t wait. Make it a habit.

Do it each day and you will soon be living that life. No one else can do it for you. Put a guard before your thoughts and words and only think and speak that which blesses, heals and prospers. Soon these will be your reality!” Rex SIkes

Make the most of today!

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How Do You Create Your Future? You Tell Your Waiter!

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you can become anyone you want to be

“People do not realize how simple the process of making your dreams come true is. Earle Nightengale called it ‘The Strangest Secret’ because it is so simple. Napoleon Hill stated that because it was so simple most people would miss it; they would never do it. The Strangest Secret IS you become what you think about.

How you make your dreams come true is the same as when you order from a waitperson. You go to a restaurant you look over the menu. You DECIDE what you want. You consider how you like it. You give your order to the waitperson specifying how you want it.

The waitperson goes off to the kitchen. You wait patiently, knowing you will be eating it soon. You occupy yourself in conversation, reading, sitting whatever. Soon the waitperson brings your food. You say thanks and eat it. You enjoy it.

If it isn’t prepared as you specified you send it back so they can correct it. If it is prepared how you specified you enjoy it. That is the simple formula.

You get clear about what you want. You specify how you want it. You place your order and you wait patiently for it to come. If you ordered a Caesar Salad you expect to get a Caesar Salad. You won’t get tacos. You are not surprised or shocked when you get your salad.

You know when you place your order it will be taken care of. You don’t rush back to the kitchen and micro manage the process, nor do you ask the waitperson every thirty seconds when it will arrive. You let go and let it come to you. You allow. You receive.

You decide what you want. You order it. You wait on it. When you get what you ordered you are simply delighted you got it because you expected to get it. You may be grateful and say thanks, but you KNEW it was coming.

That is the process for manifesting anything. Napoleon Hill said, ‘If you can conceive it and believe it you can achieve it.’ We get and become what we think about. Focus on your goal. Have a burning desire for its achievement. Believe you will get it and you will! That’s it!

You have to know what you want and you must passionately want it. You do not need to know how to make it happen any more than when you order your food do you need to know how to make the dish you want to eat. You don’t go to the cook to find out. You trust.

You wait patiently knowing it is coming. This is important. You believe it. You conceived it and you believe it is coming. From this mindset you will achieve it in time. Whatever time it takes is what it takes. This is how it works. You order and you wait.

This is why it is said that success is 99% mental attitude, the thoughts you think, and 1% effort or work. Thought precedes action. You can be, do and have anything you want using this simple secret.

However, if you are like the majority of people, you won’t do anything with it at all. Why? Because most people don’t believe it could be this simple. They want it complex and complicated. So they don’t bother.

What is it going to be with you? Are you going to be like the bulk of humanity and miss out or are you going to decide now to make all your dreams come true. It’s completely up to you. No one can do it for you. ONLY you can do it.

The analogy explain is this. The waitperson IS YOUR subconscious mind. Not someone outside of you granting you your wish. It is YOU who make it all happen. You give the order and you bring about the success. You take the order and you do the work.

Your subconscious is a vast reservoir of resources that will respond to your order when YOU know precisely what you want and tell it in a way it understands (see previous blogs). You don’t need to consciously know the ‘how’ in order to start getting what you want. You don’t need the plan to begin butYou DO need to know what you want to begin.

If you wait until you know the ‘how’ you may very well never get going. This is where trust and faith come in. Trust yourself and your inner resources. Make you dreams come true. Determine what you want and be precise. Want it passionately more than anything else.

Think about it day and night (see the end result as if you already have it) just as when you order you food you imagine how good it is to enjoy eating it. You don’t think ‘someday I will have food’, you expect it now.

Place your order with your subconscious clearly and then wait on it. Go about living and enjoying life. Do whatever your gut tells you. Wait patiently. Believe it is yours and it will be yours. It is that simple! Don’t wait begin making your dreams come true.” Rex Sikes

Have a glorious day!

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Attitude, Beliefs, Creating The Future, Definite Chief Purpose, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Goals, Habit Formation, Overcoming Difficulty, Persistence, Positive Thinking, Positive Thoughts, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Success

Do You Have The MindSet To Succeed?

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act as if you already have it

“Do you want to succeed in career and life? If you want to be happy or and enjoy more of what life offers you need to adopt a winning mindset. To enjoy enduring success you must think as a successful person does. Attitude is everything.

If a successful person wants to do something it never occurs to them that they can’t do it. They believe in themselves and that they can accomplish what they want. They passionately pursue their goals because in their heart they know they can be, do or have anything they put their mind efforts into getting.

Do you think and behave this way? If they want it it is a done deal! The successful person would never question it. They have confidence in their ability to use their minds to create the circumstances they want created. The successful person takes 100% responsibility for achieving. They make things happen!

The person may adjust plans as needed but failure is not an option. Determination and persistence rule. The successful person believes in his/her abilities to make it happen. He believes it will happen and does not let circumstances or troubles get in the way. Challenges are perceived as just part of the game.  There is no defeat only temporary situations.

To succeed the mind must be conditioned for success.  Failure is preceded by thoughts of failure thought over again. Success is preceded by thoughts of success thought over and over again. Whatever we do repeatedly becomes a habit. Through correct repetition over time you can form positive habits. Happiness and success are habits.

It is habitual, automatic thinking. Your mindset precedes the results. If you are getting negative results it is due to your mind set. If you are getting positive results it is due to your mindset. If you aren’t getting what you want you need to change your mind set. Examine, evaluate, become aware and change your thinking as you need to.

Those who can are those who think they can. Happiness is a great indicator of success, yet, most people think success will bring them happiness. Build the habit of happiness. Build the habit of success. It is simple, it takes some discipline and it can be accomplished. Yet, most people don’t do it.  Will you? What is it you want in life?

Napoleon Hill stated, ‘Whatever  the mind can conceive and believe you can achieve.’  You can be, do and have anything you can imagine when you develop the attitude that you can. Happiness is not in the results the results come as a result of your happiness. Find your bliss first and everything else will fall into place.

Celebrate and enjoy. Be thankful and delighted. Stay optimistic, positive and powerful. You become what you think about. Henry Ford stated, ‘Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right!’ So, what you are thinking and feeling most of the time?” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day of discovery!

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Act As If, Affirmations, Attitude, Autosuggestion, Beliefs, Blessings, Creating The Future, Definite Chief Purpose, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Goals, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Happiness, Joy, Persistence, Personal Development, Positive Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Positive Thoughts, Rehearsal And Practice, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Success, Unlimited Power, Visualization

Are Your Habits Creating Success Or Failure?

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the choice to have a great attitude

“Success and happiness is a matter of habit. So is failure and defeat. Either your habits support you and uplift you or they don’t. You get whatever you think about most. You get back whatever you do most.

You need to ensure that you have the right habits to get what you want.  You can’t succeed easily if you have the habit of defeated thinking and feeling. If your habits don’t support you YOU MUST develop new habits to replace the ones that work to keep you down.

You rarely get what you want if you are not the person in charge of your own thinking. You might be lucky once in a while but most often you are like a cork bobbing in the water. You are drifting. Sometimes things work out sometimes they don’t.

The only way to insure more consistent results is to put yourself in charge and take 100% responsibility for everything that happens good or bad. You may not like this idea but once you completely accept this notion you come into your true power.

You stop blaming. You stop putting the causes for your success or failure outside of yourself. It is accurate that there are outside influences on you but you are the one who decides how you will respond. Circumstances are neutral until you decide whether they are positive or negative.

A true person of power can celebrate during the greatest disasters and in the face of calamity. When you can be delighted and celebrate regardless of what is going on around you or to you YOU are not a fool. You are a victor because you do not let things bring you down

You determine how you will feel. You are in charge. You are powerful and positive. You created successful thought habits.

From this seat of power you are a creator. Because you feel good in spite of circumstances you are able to more readily recognize opportunity and take advantage in ANY situation. Consider this example, successful people know how to make money in any economic climate. Making money for them is habit.

Many make their most money when times are bad. It isn’t the situation that should dictate you, rather you should dictate how you take advantage of any situation. When things don’t work out they way you may have hoped learn what you can from the experience.

When you have the mental attitude that you are in charge no matter what you make things happen. When you have the attitude that no matter what you are blessed and lucky all the time then you open yourself to have a most incredible life. When you can be happy and celebrate regardless of circumstances life is delicious.

To be the victor you must tell your mind what you want over and over again. There is no end to it. Repetition creates habit. Correct repetition creates the correct habit. Persistence is necessary in order to get what you want. It is simple YOU become what you think about day and night.

The subconscious mind will accept any statement that you keep repeating to it through words and by any other means. You affirm what you want in an emotional state of highly charged positive feelings. Intense feeling accompanying your thoughts, (internal images) and your self-talk (affirmations) IS what makes it work.

Repeat your affirmations and visualizations (as suggested in previous posts) in a state of enthusiasm backed up by faith and the subconscious mind acts more quickly. Faith is a state of mind wherein whatever it is you are going to do, whatever it is you want, you can see it already in a finished act even before you begin.

You can do whatever you make up your mind to do unless you give away your power along the way. Feel blessed, celebrate, be enthusiastic and joyful no matter what. Have faith that you will make happen what you want to happen regardless of whatever life throws at you. Make these a habit and nothing can hold you back!

Know you will find a way even if you don’t know what that way is at this moment. It will become obvious to you as you move forward. Have faith! Believe in yourself. Then what you want is taken over by the subconscious an acted upon immediately.  Stay with it, never give up and you will get what you want. Act from your power.

Define your chief purpose. Write it out so that you clarify it, understand it an memorize it. Start repeating it day in and day out. See it in your mind’s eye as already accomplished. Celebrate and enjoy! Say thank you all through out your day! Delight in all moments and you will discover so much more!

The more you think positive and the more you feel good the quicker and easier the process becomes. The faster you make it a reliable habit. The faster and easier you make things happen because you create momentum. Keep repeating this process until your subconscious mind picks it up and automatically works on it. This is how you make success a habit!” Rex Sikes

Have a fantastic  day!

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How To Feel Better Almost Instantly!

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how can i help others olve their problems and acheive their dreams

“Would you like to feel better? Would you like to feel proud? How would you like to enjoy the feelings that what you do matters? Wouldn’t this be nice? It doesn’t take much to feel significant and productive. Here is how:

Help someone else who is down and out. Whether the person or persons are emotionally or financially troubled do something to help ease their burden. Help put a smile on their lips or a song in their heart. Any genuine act of kindness, no matter how large or small can mean more than you can imagine to a person in need.

Pay it forward. Little acts or kindness randomly spread throughout the day can help you to feel inspired and delighted. Sometimes, it is as easy as lighting up, smiling genuinely and listening intently when greeting another person. If you want to feel better help someone else feel better.

It might surprise you how good you feel when thinking and feeling and moving with care and compassion. Even the mental activity of showering the other person with peace and love can be meaningful. Bath them in positivity and enjoy their presence. Take a moment and truly listen. Help a child or play with one. Smile at everyone!

It’s easy to feel good when your goal is to help others feel good. As they light up you will too. Whenever you are down and need a lift give someone else a lift and you will benefit! Aim to understand, accept, allow, inspire, motivate, and assist others. Delight in doing good!” Rex Sikes

Have a great day!

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