Tag Archives: Relationships

To Succeed You Must Visualize Your Success!

you cant change anything if you cant change your mind

“You want success, don’t you? If there are hurdles or challenges, or ceilings in your way wouldn’t it be nice to know how to overcome these? If you could find away to accelerate having that success sooner wouldn’t that be wonderful? Imagine making your goals and dreams come true more quickly? The bottom line is you can! It is up to you whether you will do it or not.

If you will spend a few minutes each day visualizing your goals and dreams as already complete, already accomplished, you can drastically reduce the amount of time it takes to realize them. You can  quicken your realization of your desires and ambitions.

We think in pictures, images and mental movies. If you are like 99.9% of other people you think in pictures. If you grew up seeing you think in pictures. Words and sounds accompany the images as do feelings.

Most of our images operate outside of our awareness or consciousness. We can consciously engage the process when we want to remember something or are planning or engaged in other activities. Sometimes, someone says something and we respond by saying ‘thanks for the visual’ because an image, often unwanted, pops into our awareness.

Okay, try this on. Stop and take a moment to really do this. Check it out! What comes into your mind when I say the word ‘dog’?

What kind of dog is it? Was it your dog or someone else’s? Is the dog from the present or another time in your life?

Okay, good. Now what happens when I say, ‘wet dog’? Is it the same or different dog? Is it at the same time or a different time? Good, now try this, ‘bad dog’. What changes?

You may have seen vivid images or barely been able to notice them, yet, you still were able to come up with an answer.

there is nothing impossible

See, we don’t have to do anything to see mental images. It isn’t as if we have to try. It is true that some of us have developed the ability further than others of us. No worries, we all can improve it.

Just as muscles increase in size through repeating exercise so does our capacity to visual increase. We can enhance it! There are a number of benefits to developing our ability to visualize including clearer thinking, attention to detail and improved memory.  I want to focus on one benefit today; the ability to make your goals and dreams come true. When we see what we want we can get what we want.

When you repeatedly send crystal clear image messages to your unconscious mind it brainstorms ways, outside of consciousness, to accomplish it. It is as if you aim a laser beam at a target. When you vividly imagine what you want you are defining it clearly and powerfully for yourself.

You don’t even need to know how you will accomplish your goal. You just need to see it as ALREADY accomplished. You do this repeatedly! You do this daily. You stick with it.

It is a very simple practice!  Sit or lie back  in a comfortable position with  closed eyes and image your goals and desires as already completed. See yourself, as in a movie, and notice how you look, sound and behave when you are behaving as you want to be and doing and have everything you want in the future.

thoughts design my energy

For example: If you want a new home see yourself in the new home. Imagine it in as much detail as possible. See each room, the decor, walk through the house. See the inside details and the outside. Imagine what it is like to live in it. Watch yourself enjoying it, driving up to it in a great car etc. It is your future make it what you want it to be.

After a few minutes of visualizing in this manner, switch your position and look out through your own eyes and see what you see in that future. Hear what you say and the sounds and feel what it feels like to behave, do and have your desires and goals met. Savor, linger and delight in the feelings.

A few minutes visualizing every day will develop your ability to see it more clearly if you don’t at first. Just imagine and keep going. You are sending a powerful message to your unconscious about what it is you want to make happen. You are initiating and accelerating your abilities conscious and unconscious to accomplish your desires.

Do not be concerned with how it will happen. The how will come in time. You own mind will reveal plans in time. You will get ideas, inspirations and intuitions to act on as you continue. Maybe not right at first, so let it go, have faith and just imagine it as though it all already is accomplished.  Just keep with the practice a prescribed. Notice and enjoy the incredible feelings that accompany having everything you want.

Remember, we become what we think about most often! If you can hold it in your head you will hold it in your hand.What consumes our mind controls our life. Whatever the mind can conceive and believe you can achieve are all reminders that you can make this all happen.

if you can dream it you can do it

Visualize when you first wake up in the morning. You can do it before even getting out of bed. Throughout the day whenever you have a moment close your eyes and relive these positive images, sounds and feelings. Before going to sleep, after you do your list of everything you are grateful for, spend moments visualizing your goals. This is a great way to drift off to sleep with the last thoughts of the day about accomplishing your dreams. Make some special time daily to do this!

The goal is to feel good. So if at anytime during your visualizing you don’t feel wonderful, adjust the movie so that you do. The less than glorious feeling is just a signal telling you to adjust, something is a miss and you need to make it an adjustment. The goal is to feel good when you imagine your future. The goal of life is to feel incredible!!!

The goal is to feel wonderful throughout the day. So enjoy the wonderful feelings, find everything in your present to feel grateful for and spend time affirming your ability and power as a magnetic attractor and creator. Affirm and appreciate your ability to make you future come true.

THEN, no matter what happens around you, if the world crumbles, remember this has absolutely noting to do with your desires or your future. Keep your eye on the prize. Realize that the seeds that get planted grow underground in darkness for a duration of time.

The weather may be raging above ground but the seeds continue to grow. They take time to sprout. HAVE faith that ultimately, in whatever time it takes, you will accomplish what you want to accomplish as long as you stay with it and do not quit. You will succeed!

Whatever current challenges you face  appreciate them and you will get through them much faster. There is something to learn and opportunity hidden within every challenge if you only just look for it. Stay focused on what you want to make happen! Appreciate the present circumstances and do not let anything dampen your spirit about your future. Enjoy the present AND the future. Make the journey delightful regardless of what life throws at you.

‘Chicken Soup Of The Soul’ author Jack Canfield knows a little something about success and he states that the daily practice of visualization does quicken the time it takes to realize your goals.

Napoleon Hill, Wallace Wattles, Norman Vincent Peale, Tony Robbins, Bob Proctor and others for the past century, and religious texts for centuries have been stating the very same thing. You go where your thoughts take you. So make them take you where you want to go!!!” Rex Sikes

Have a marvelous day!

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Feeling Boxed In? Do This Now!

whoever cares to learn will find a teacher

“We spend most of our time seated, looking only a few feet away at computer screens or across a room. Our field of vision is narrowly limited. We rarely move. The only time we do move is to get coffee, relieve ourselves, change offices and enter or leave work. Many of our illnesses today can be traced to lack of movement, sitting for too long and recycled boxed air. We are surrounded by artificial light and the constant hum of computers and machines. Our day to day sees little actual change in environment and habit. People tend to get colds and flu more frequently in winter because we ARE indoors even more. We need to change this to be healthier. The good news is we can!

Humans are a very different breed today. We live in ways that we have yet to really adapt to or evolve into.This one of the major reasons we are sick a lot. We are not doing what we were intended to do. Early humans spent the bulk of their day moving while foraging, hunting or later working the fields. Our day should be spent moving just as much as they did but it isn’t. Still, it is important for us to try to get as much movement in each day as we possibly can. The hour at the gym isn’t enough. Move more, walk more, stand up more while at work if you are able.

Our focus and field of vision, our peripheral vision are stilted, narrowed and boxed in because we rarely look far off. Most of the day we only really look and see a few feet in front of us. We don’t realize how our visual field has shifted narrowly living in urban settings. We need to shift our focus and to expand it. We can’t do this indoors. We need to get outdoors and look far off into the distance. Get in touch with the world around you. Leave your box home, your box office, your box gym and get out of doors and into nature

By walking outdoors we can actually enlarge what we are able to take in and notice. This ability is great for problem solving, finding solutions, memory and improved concentration. Walk, looking far off into the distant horizon, because when you do you expand your field of vision. Set your gaze far away. Eventually, you will notice everything around you begins to open up and you will see and experience so much more. It is healthy to do this and it is healthy to get outdoors and walk. An hour of uninterrupted casual walk is best for you. Keep your focus out there, far away, on the horizon. Adjust it only for safety. Don’t walk where there are cars or lots of traffic or dangerous pathways.

red tree golden valley path and clouds

Do this daily and eventually you will notice your ability to expand and narrow your focus as needed increasing. You will discover greater flexibility in your thinking and creativity. You actually open up and utilize new neural pathways. The benefits are numerous and delightful! You may even notice yourself thinking and feeling healthier.

Consider what is being done to our children. They are forced to sit in desks all day. They must listen to adequate orators (at best usually). Their playground time, recess and gym activities have all been curtailed over the decades in favor of test scores and book learning. Their school lunches are processed foods high in sugar. They rarely move during the day and they are fed poor quality processed products.

Instead of allowing them to do what their young bodies and minds are made for we force them to be still. When they want to move or express themselves because they are repressed or oppressed for hours then ‘the powers that be’ want to medicate them because they fidget and have difficulty paying attention. The reason they can’t sit still IS because they have not moved enough. Forcing someone to remain still causes the desire and need to move. Attention will be there when the physical needs are taken care of. We can attend better once our other needs have been attended to!

They should be able to move in the classroom. More exercise, more play, more gym is needed NOT less. Let them play until tired but not exhausted and then help them learn. They would learn so much better and easier. You would see most ‘learning disabilities’ vanish. NO one, unless severely neurologically impaired, has learning disabilities. Learning is what we do naturally. Kids and adults need to spend more time out in the world and less time in boxed rooms sitting.

Much of our learning comes from physical moving. It is the wiring of the brain and body. Contralateral movements or those which cross over the midline of the body are necessary. Crawling and moving the body as we did was very important for brain development. In this particular case less is NOT more. We need more movement for our bodies and brains to be adequately stimulated and healthy. It isn’t just about the cardio-vascular effects it is about the overall effects on the human. We can’t restrict our minds, our vision, our bodies, we can’t limit everything about what it is to be human, to be young, and still expect to have good and healthy results. SOMETIMES natural is better. Sometimes more is better. Just as sometime it is not.

Wisdom means knowing and implementing the best choices that have the most positive effects.

Nature overflows with an alive positive energy. Get out outdoors and connect with this positive energy. It radiates from the earth, it comes from the sky and from every living thing. There is great commotion in nature and a great stillness. Stop and listen. Stop and take a moment to enjoy it. To imbibe it. To reconnect with it. You will feel better, you will think better. You will relax, let go, and allow more. You will feel more peaceful and at one. It is a healthy and positive practice.

If it is cold outside, bundle up and go for a walk. You can do this. If it is warm enough, where you are, walk barefoot whenever you can. Feel the soil, the earth. Lie down and feel the warmth of the ground. Reconnect with the earth. Listen to the sound of the wind as it moves through the leaves or over the grasses. It is simple. Get back in touch with nature. Sit by a stream and let go. Take a hike. Roll down a hill. Skip. Relax, refresh, walk, witness, observe, smell, listen. Get some sun! It actually IS good for you to get some sun. Do this often. The better you feel the better you are able to feel. Become alive again!” Rex Sikes

Make today special. Do something wonderful for yourself and another person!

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Stop Self Sabotage And Succeed!

what consumes your mind controls your life

“We think in pictures. We talk to ourselves. We speak silently in our minds and out loud. Our ‘self talk’ is that continuous flow or stream of thoughts that run through our head moment to moment.  For most people it seems to be a running commentary all during our waking hours.

You can’t have a negative stream of thoughts going through your brain and  feel marvelous. It just doesn’t work that way. You can’t have limiting self talk and be expansive and powerful. You can’t be saying crappy things to yourself and feel on top of the world. It won’t, it doesn’t happen. Our thoughts to our self, our self talk, what we say directly impacts how we feel AND how we feel results in what we think and say to ourselves.

In order to be happier and healthier our self talk should be happy and healthy.  This is why many researchers suggest that happiness is directly tied to what we say to ourselves and how we say it. Our happiness is tied to what we see in our minds eye. If we make disappointing or negative or horrible mental images we can’t expect to feel fabulous and be successful.

To be happier and healthier we have to manage what we think and picture and say to ourselves in our head. Thoughts precede feelings and actions. Some people erroneously think when they succeed they will feel successful. The truth is people who feel successful succeed. ‘Our attitude determines our altitude!’

While you may get to the ‘no mind’ or suspension of thoughts through meditation most people can’t just shut off their thoughts. No worries, you don’t have to. What you CAN do is replace less than glorious thoughts with other more positive thoughts. Asking well formed thoughtful positive questions that directs your mind in positive ways is a powerful means of accomplishing this.

what you allow is what will continue

If you watch a scary TV show and get so scared you turn it off what happens? You end up sitting up and thinking about it. So don’t turn it off. The BEST thing to do is switch the channel and watch something else that you enjoy. Watch something that distracts you. Watch other programs that keep you focused on what makes you laugh or feel delightful. Stay on that until you forget about the other program.

It works the same way with our mind. It is easier to channel the energy and direct it into other useful thoughts than to cease thinking them. Direct the flow of energy. Direct it into what you prefer instead. This is art of ‘mental aikido’ (the art of utilizing the energy offered). What you resist persists. Instead, turn resistance into assistance by directing your thinking in other ways. It is easier to divert the stream than to dam it up.

I have spoken and written on the power of questions through the years. Some of which are right here in the pages of this blog for you to go back and review. The positive directed use of questions is absolutely transformative! Learn the art of focusing your mind by asking questions.

Questions direct the mind. How amazed will you be to discover yourself asking many wonderful, powerful, positive questions that direct your mind easily and quickly into delightful thoughts and feelings once you learn how? Obviously, you can’t know until you try.

Affirmations are fantastic when you find ones that you readily believe and repeat them with great energy and enthusiasm. Have a blast chanting out loud, when you are alone, new positive thoughts. Look in the mirror and smile as you say these. Say them out loud vigorously whenever you can.

correct your mind the rest will fall into place

When you begin to think less than gloriously and you catch yourself replace the old thought with the new positive assertion. Steer your mind in positive ways. TAKE CHARGE! One positive thought leads to other positive thoughts in the same way negative thoughts do. Birds of a feather flock together. SO you can change your thinking for the better when you take control. Just do it and it will become a habit.

What you think about you become. You can’t expect to think negatively and live positively. Fill your mind daily with positive, inspiring, motivational material. Read at least a page or two from great books and listen to audios. Begin and end the day with inspiration and gratitude!

Each day make sure you have enough nutritious mental health food to keep you going and make you strong. The goal is to feel good. When you feel wonderful there is no stopping you. Take a walk, get some exercise, a massage. Skip, sing, hum, watch funny movies, relax, let go but do whatever healthy positive thing you can to begin feeling better. Jump start yourself.

DO these things and stop the sabotage. Defeatist thinking will never make you victorious. Transform yourself from powerless to powerful. You can do this. You can absolutely do this! Do it today!” Rex Sikes

Fill each moment of today with passion!

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Think About What You Think About

we are our choices

“At any given moment either you think positive or negative. Either you build or you destroy. Either you feel good or you feel bad. Either you are happy or you are not. Either you are a victor or a victim. Positive thinking is not so much about changing the world around you as it is how you respond to the changing world around you.

If you are not thinking and responding positively, powerfully, productively how are you thinking and responding? Either you are moving forward or not. Either you are making things happen or not. Either you are in charge or you are not. What you think and feel and say and do make all the difference. What are you thinking, feeling, saying and doing that makes life better for yourself? Either you are manifesting good things or you are not.

We become what we think about most through out each day. Our repetitive thoughts, habits and patterns define us. Either you are making happen what you want to happen or you are not. Either you decide to take control or you do not. Either you are planning or you are not. Either you are working your plans or you are not. Either you find a way or you find an excuse. Either you are doing it or you are not.

Think about what you think about. Think about what you think about yourself, others, events, circumstances and the world around you. Either you enjoy or you don’t. Either you love or you don’t. Either you are thankful or you are not. Either you accept or you don’t. Either you believe or you don’t. Either you give your you don’t. Either you create or you don’t. Either you ask or you don’t. Either you allow or you don’t. Either you receive or you don’t.

What are you thinking about most throughout each day. What are your saying to yourself? What are you picturing in your minds eye? What are you feeling like most of the time? If you aren’t in control who is? If you don’t control it who will? if you don’t do it now when will you? Either you will or you won’t.

What are you thinking about most of the time? What are you becoming?” Rex Sikes

Have a delightful day!

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Ask Yourself Whose Life Can You Touch And Bless Today? Happy Thanksgiving!

wonderful_friend_thank_you_quote_magnet_-_MGT-TLD105_1024x1024

“It is Thanksgiving celebrate! There is so much to be thankful for. All one has to do is look around, and notice, as it has been said, ‘any day you are above ground is a good day’.

Spend the day with the people who are important to you if you are able too. Share time and make memorable moments. Spend some time truly giving thanks for everything you can. Look for the little things we take for granted and appreciate them.

So many, have so little, we are lucky with whatever we have in terms of our home, health, wealth, our well-being. Remember family, friends, your support network, your work, passions, and play. Celebrate and delight in everything. Give thanks!

Our world becomes richer when we recognize what we have created, made happen and lucked into!

Every moment of the day you are either creating positive energy or negative energy. The more you focus on creating positive thoughts, appreciation, loving kind thoughts, feelings, words and actions the more you get back. The longer you spend time savoring these the more enjoyable every moment becomes.

that i do today imporves ur tomorrows

Today, reach out and make someone else feel special, feel loved and appreciated. Say a kind word, smile, lend them a hand. Give someone a call, extend an invitation, give someone a hug. Find someone lonely or alone and give of your time.

Holidays are difficult for many people and if you can help another person feel better, feel welcome, feel valued and important not only do you do something wonderful for that person but you do something wonderful for yourself.

Let your heart be soft, open and receptive. Send out your loving energy for no reason at all other than to touch someone gently and positively. Lift someone up and you lift yourself up higher too!

As you feel more grateful, loving and positive all of your world changes for the better. Enjoy this day and let’s make thanksgiving a daily celebration instead of a yearly one.” Rex Sikes

PS – Thank YOU for following, subscribing and sharing this blog! Thanks for spreading positive energy. I appreciate you and cannot get the word out without you. THANKS! Have a marvelous holiday! Blessings and Peace!!!

Fill your moments with passion and delight!

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Don’t Miss Out! Accelerate Your Career Success

rise up the world is waiting for you

“You decide your fate in life because it is totally in your hands. How far you go is completely up to you and within your power. If you are incredible to be around and you genuinely put others first, and you seek to help solve problems, find solutions, and celebrate everything YOU can ultimately write your own ticket.

Continued From  How To Accelerate Your Career Success.

It is true you have to pursue you dreams, remain dedicated and consistently keep moving forward to accomplish your goals. How you do that and who you get to surround you is important. People either want to see you go far and help you or they will be happy to see you fail. Some might even take pleasure in helping to make that happen.

Even though it is your personal path to get ahead it is always about the other people you come into contact with. You  attract others most like you. Birds of a feather flock together. SO celebrate people, be supportive, encouraging, and an inspiration. Always talk nicely about everyone. Don’t whine complain, blame, badmouth or gossip.

Go out of your way to inspire, motivate, and help others. When you give freely to others, without conditions, you’ll be recognized as a genuine, kind and caring person. You will move forward faster.

i am starting to attract the people around me

People like people who actually like people! People tend to say yes to the people they like. It is easy to say no to someone you do not care about. Perhaps, it’s even satisfying to say no to someone you don’t like. When you are nice to people first they feel more inclined to be nice towards you. When you help others, others tend to want to help you. It just works that way. People will respond to  help you move ahead!

It is called the Law Of Reciprocity and it works like this. You go out for the evening and someone buys your dinner. What do you say and do? You say, ‘next time I buy’. Why?  Because you feel like you ought to. Someone did you a kindness and you want to do one back. You feel obligated. You feel you owe them in return. You want to ‘do the right thing’ and be nice. You don’t want to leave it uneven.You want to even up the score.

It works the other way too. Someone calls you a nasty name or gives you the finger. What do you feel like doing? Probably the same, or even worse. We feel compelled to even the score.

Since these laws are always working anyway make the Golden Rule and the Law Of Reciprocity work for you. They never cease to be in operation! So whether you are at home, at play or on the job learn how to utilize them so you and everyone else benefits.

Be grateful. Be thankful for everything big and small. People can tell when a person lives with gratitude and appreciation. Express your gratitude, send a note, say thanks often. Breaks come much quicker when we are optimistic, positive, and appreciative because we are more desirable to be around.

be the type of person you want to meet

Consider these next examples:  Movie Stars are movie stars because people want to know them. They are sought after and people want to be around them. People even want to be them! They have ‘something’ that makes them different from everyone else. People are excited when a celebrity is gracious, down to earth, and a real genuine person! They are ecstatic if the celebrity takes an interest in them asks them questions and really listens. They feel touched by greatness. It is a moment they may always remember. You have the opportunity to make yourself memorable!

You have an important fun trip planned. You are going to be camping in the wilderness. (Even if you hate camping imagine this). WHO do you invite along? What kind of people would you take with you if you wanted a wonderful time?  What qualities in the are important? What kind person would you not want to be there.

I’m not asking you  which friends can pitch a tent or drink the most around a campfire while telling  great stories. I am asking you to consider whether you’d want a cooperative, good natured, giving person to accompany you, the kind of person I’ve been describing in these posts, or someone in it just for themselves?

When people hire this is the kind of consideration they have? Who do they want around for a long time? If it is between you and someone else why should they pick you?

Accept 100% responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, words and actions and you can make great things happen. You will never be able to move ahead easily if you put the responsibility on or blame others for your success or failures. Whatever is going to happen will be up to you. It will be due to the kind of person you are or are not!

If you want to be successful faster and move forward more easily then transform yourself into the kind of person other people want to be around and see succeed. It is all up to you!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

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How To Accelerate Your Career Success!

 

take step in right direction

“YOU succeed much faster when people like who you are and what you are. Everything I have shared, in my recent posts, about the Golden Rule, the Platinum Rule and acting in loving ways towards a partner, your family, associates and even strangers is applicable to your career and your job success. Behave in loving ways and you can ignite your career track beyond belief!

When you fist behave lovingly toward others AND yourself, when you hold others and yourself in the highest esteem, you are transforming yourself and your relationships in positive ways. Others will notice and you will stand out in the crowd. Your energy will be uplifting, dynamic, confident and kind. You will set your self apart from all the rest who just go about life and their career with only themselves in mind.

People will be attracted to you because you are operating from higher positive intentions. You are filling your mind and your heart, your feelings, your words and your actions with positivity. When you wish the very best for others, and do the best to help them feel loved, accepted, valued, and supported, without seeking to get anything back, you ultimately gain more in return than you can ever imagine!

In your career, and in all business, when you go the extra mile, when you help your boss or others get ahead without being asked to and without expecting payment you demonstrate that you are a person of integrity and high-value. You display initiative when you help others meet their needs. If you can save them time, money or energy you will be sought after. If you will do what most others refuse to do you can most likely write your own ticket.

When you are so filled with the joy of living and loving, when your thoughts and feelings and actions are congruent and aligned with these high positive intentions you are a joy to be around. You are someone people want to associate with and you become indispensable to others. When you put others first you make yourself a genuine team player. You make yourself invaluable.

The issue with so many pursuing careers is that they only see others as stepping stones for getting where they want to get. These types tend to be aggressive and use people.  They complain and whine about the circumstances or actions of others. They are envious when other people get the job or move forward advancing their careers. This type of person is more than competitive, they think and speak and act only with regard to themselves. They are easily identifiable and if not easily avoidable many will do their best not to have to interact, be around, or work with them.

action moments

You have to know that no one ever, EVER, makes it on one’s own. It is a network of co-operating resources that enable people to do well in the world. Would you believe someone who claimed, ‘Hey I go out and get the raw materials, I mine them. I transport them in my own vehicle to bring them back. I manufacture them all alone and I promote and market them without any assistance from anyone. Then I sell them all by myself off my own website. NO one has ever helped me.’ Perhaps, that is true, but the people who purchased your product are the ones who help make you successful!

Without these people you wouldn’t have any money. So even in the rarest of all circumstances, as in this example, there are others involved who are responsible for this person’s success.  There are other ways people contributed to the process indirectly. Someone made the vehicle and made gasoline available. Someone manufactured  the tools the computers and the marketing means. Others are involved whether they are given recognition or not.

Alright, so that was an extreme example of someone determined to claim no one ever helped them. For most of us many people help us all along the way. Some do it freely and others charge for their services. The point is we are interconnected. We don’t actually live in complete isolation. We depend on others and others depend on us. This is why networking is so important. Ultimately, we  all help each other.

If you really want to get ahead apply the Golden Rule.  Add value to others first. Hold everyone in the highest possible regard.  Go out of your way to be positive and nice and behave in loving and kind (appropriate) ways and you will endear others to you. Birds of a feather flock together so you will discover other incredible people who will support and encourage you too.

Give first without asking in return and you will get back because people want to return kindnesses. Be helpful and respectful, don’t be a pest. Be positive, don’t complain or blame others. Don’t gossip.

success requires mindset

Celebrate joyously when others succeed and you will do much to increase the likelihood of your own success. There are people watching you on your career path and they can tell when you are genuinely interested in others. People can tell when someone is only in it for themselves.

Consider yourself as a beacon, a  walking billboard. You advertise exactly who you are and what your values are the moment you enter a room or open your mouth. People can see you coming a mile away and they are either deliriously happy when you arrive or they want to flee.

Be the kind of person other people really want to be around and you will go far. Smile, be happy and enthusiastic.

When you go for an interview or an audition remember your energy either fills the room with powerful friendly presence or it sucks the energy from the room. Those you are meeting can immediately tell whether you are a life giver or a vampire. If you want a chance at a call back or to book the job or get the position people must feel that you are someone they want to be around and spend time with.

Yes, it is important to be talented. You should be qualified and right for the part, or the position.  Still, who you are matters so much more than what you can do. If you want the chance, if you want  the opportunity for yourself to get ahead and skyrocket your career be the best person you can be AND be the best in your work. You will get noticed, you’ll be remembered, and get called. More in the next post.” Rex Sikes

Have fun today! Enjoy yourself!

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Loving Means Recognizing What You Are Doing When You Are Doing It

you are a living magnet

In my recent post I mentioned that ‘loving’ behaviors are quantifiable while the generalization ‘love’ is not. You can tell when someone is behaving in a loving way towards you or towards someone else. It is readily apparent. You can encourage the loving behaviors by telling the other person what you enjoy and by responding back in loving ways. You can discourage or extinguish less than loving behaviors by word and deed as well. You can begin to get more of what you want and enjoy how you like to be treated when you communicate in loving ways.

You can be more loving across the board.  Certainly, you can be so  in a romantic way with your partner but you can also treat family members in more loving ways. You can act more loving towards friends and co-workers. Caregivers can provide loving care to the recipients, all of is can be more loving towards people who are hungry, homeless and have special needs. It is not only in the context of intimate relationships. We are not discussing  ‘LOVE’ but describing loving behaviors.

It is very important to recognize when you are and aren’t behaving in loving ways toward others. You can tell immediately whether what you are thinking, saying and doing is having a positive affect and getting a positive response or not. You have a metaphorical yardstick to determine whether your behaviors are moving you closer or further away from helping the other person feel more loved and accepted. At any moment you are either moving toward being loving or away from being loving. It is simple to notice.

Once you notice whether or not you are doing what you intend to you can adjust accordingly. IF you are open to feedback and your intention is to be more loving you can easily change what you are thinking, saying and doing  to love, nurture, accept and support the other person.

Instead of attempting to justify any behavior by saying or thinking ‘its because I love you’ you can question yourself and decide if you words and actions are actual displays of loving, accepting, nurturing and supportive behavior. You have a real means of deciding.  You can tell if what you are doing is ACTUALLY loving or not. This is practical. Then there is no deceiving oneself.

what u put out u attract

Either you are or you aren’t. If you are honest with yourself you know when you are being loving or if what you are doing is agitating or hurting the other person? You can look, see, hear and even feel whether the other person is receptive or not. There is evidence.

Pay attention and you will discover when you are off base and when you are genuinely behaving kindly and in loving ways.  Since you have a way to notice, (its in the other person’s response to you) you have a way to change when you need to or continue to do more of the same.

You can ask the other person what loving behaviors they enjoy and how they prefer to be treated. You can share your preferences with them as well. It is desirable to communicate your wants and needs in relationships with others. Parent to child, lover to lover, friend to friend etc. Loving is something one does and they way one does it. ‘LOVE’ is a philosophical construct.

For example, ‘I want more love’ tells us precisely what? On the other hand, ‘I want to be treated in loving ways more often. Here is how and when’, communicates what one can do to help this person feel more ‘love’. If you are willing you can respond to this person by treating them as they ask to be treated. It is a two way street, of course.

I return to the Golden Rule. If you enjoy being treated nicely you can use that to assume the other person does too. Then treat them nicely. The Golden Rules states ‘treat others as you prefer to be treated’. This sets a guideline for us. It makes us aware of treating others as well or better than you yourself want to be treated. If we don’t like something we can assume others may not either so don’t treat them that way.

HERE is where the Platinum Rule comes into play. The Platinum Rules states, ‘treat people as they prefer to be treated’. This means some of the specifics may differ. They may not enjoy the same things you do.

For example, if one of the ways your partner could demonstrate being more loving towards you means ‘taking you out to a movie of your choice’ your partner’s way of feeling being loved might be ‘to have you spend time sharing hopes and dreams, to sit and talk more often’. Not everyone likes the same things. You both can provide each other with what is wanted to feel more loved. You can give the other person what the person wants if you are willing.

To adhere to the Platinum Rule you find out what is important to the other person. You discover what the other person likes, what the other prefers and hopes and wants to include. Then you deliver that as best you are able. You can and should do this unselfishly with no expectation of return. That is the Golden Rule in operation.

think happy thoughts good things will happen

If they feel ‘more loved spending a quiet evening at home with you’ and ‘you feel more loved going out together and having wild experiences’ then you negotiate times when you can each do for the other what the other enjoys doing. This is ideal. To have great communication and mutually desire to meet each others needs.

You will be behaving in more loving ways when you make a ‘special quiet at home evening for your partner’ and your partner will be nurturing you and more loving towards you in scheduling a ‘wild time of going out together’. You both help each other feel more important and validate the ways in which you both feel loved when you take into account how the other person feels loved by you. You increase your ‘love’ when you act in loving ways towards and with each other.

When you do for another, help another, give to another, make another feel special you are helping yourself too. When you make others feel loved, accepted, important and supported without expecting any return you are loving unconditionally. When you simple add more loving into your life you are benefiting yourself while you benefit others.

Consider all the people in your life, surrounding you, whom you can behave more lovingly towards. Your parents, children, partner, boss, employees, co-workers, associates, friends, strangers you meet day to day in a variety of places, people with needs, and all others. How can you add to their enjoyment of each day? When you become more loving toward yourself and extend it toward others all of your life becomes much more remarkable and positive.

When you uplift others you uplift yourself. You can more intimately connect with those near and dear to you AND you can also find ways nurture and support friends, associates and strangers.

When your goal is to UPLIFT everyone and think the highest of all people, everyone benefits. You will benefit in countless untold ways and the others will too. You help make your living circumstances and those of the people around you so much nicer. Be the catalyst for positive change!

I really don’t want to point this out because the focus is not in what is returned but in what is given freely, but Giver’s get. They really do! So give and give freely and enjoy the blessings you receive while making others feel better and more loved. Enjoy” Rex Sikes

Today, find many reasons to enjoy yourself and others! Be thankful!

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People Have Real Needs! How To Love!

 

let ur positive energy shift room vibrations

“What do you suppose everyone on the planet wants? I am not sure but if I had to guess here are a few things they might wish they had; love; acceptance; happiness; power; health; wealth; well-being; family; home; productive work; free time; enjoyment… I am sure the list of wants is endless.

What do you suppose the highest want might be? I would suspect love; happiness; acceptance. Perhaps, I am not correct, or perhaps there are others but it seems to me most people want to have some purpose in life. They want to feel connected and valuable. They want to relate and enjoy life to the fullest. They want to share it with people who are important to them. They want to give and receive.

Some people are happy with or without a house, a car, a TV, or many of our basic ‘necessities’. Many can get along without things. Some may get by without a job or work, but fewer get by without other people to live life with. We all find at least one other to share our life with. Homeless people congregate because we are social creatures and even in the fiercest competition we find acts of generosity and kindness, of love and acceptance.

Frankly, I think everything anyone does is a request for love. It may not be voiced or even consciously recognized by each of us but I do think that everyone wants it and no one wants to live life without it.

It seems to me, if this is the case, that we might seek to be more loving as well as loved. Love is a nebulous concept. It is a generalization of thought and our language.  So is the notion ‘everyone wants love’. This may be true but I don’t know what that means. I don’t know what love means?

People love their family, friends, their job, their car, their pets, their homes, hamburgers, jewelry; people love many things. We still aren’t sure what they mean by love because it may mean many things to many people. So I say seek not love. Don’t ask for love or have a goal to love or be loved.

Instead seek to be loving.  Seek to have people treat you in loving ways.

bless each day w gratefulness

 

Love is not quantifiable or definable in a working definition way, but loving can be. You can ACTUALLY tell when someone is acting in a loving way towards you, or another, and when they are not. You can say, ‘yes, that is it! that is what I mean.’ ‘By their fruits we shall know them’, is a phrase that comes to mind. Loving acts are recognizable!

When someone truly loves another their thoughts and their feelings and their behaviors are loving. You can tell when they perform loving behaviors and when the behaviors they perform are not loving.

People can mistreat another and say, ‘but I love you! I did it because I love you’ but that is not equal to acting in loving ways. ‘Love’ can be used to justify a host of un-loving behaviors.

So don’t strive to love strive to be more loving. Strive to be more kind, nicer, to act in ways that benefit the other person whom you ‘love’. When you think and behave as I am describing it also allows you and the other to teach each other how to be more loving. A person can say, ‘when you do that I feel loved’, ‘or ‘I really enjoy it when you do this’. ‘I feel appreciated, special, loved, accepted when…’ It can open up the lines of reciprocal communication to help people draw closer.

There is another aspect to this I want to mention before I close. Since most people seek ‘love’, ‘acceptance’, ‘happiness’ perhaps we can be more loving, accepting and joyful. Perhaps, we can become more cheerful givers and help others when in times of need.

If you want to feel better and feel better about yourself help another person when they have needs. Some people need loving treatment, some need career assistance, some need help picking up socks around the house, some need food, water and shelter. Some need to feel valued when they have no work and are down on their luck.

You can do any little thing in loving ways and be of great benefit to another person, family member, friend or stranger.

when you arise think of the privilege

There seems to have arisen in the US a culture of hate and intolerance. This vocal group blames and wants to cut people off from assistance because they feel there are people who are freeloaders. While there may be some freeloaders, that may just be a fact of life, I personally doubt there are very many people who want something for nothing. More people want love and acceptance and happiness than the haters seem to imply. They seem to scream that there is a culture of ‘entitlement’ that needs to be stopped.

If you want to stop this you don’t do it with whips and chains and taking food from their babies mouths. You do it through loving. You do it from understanding and accepting. You help others with helpful behaviors. If you want someone to be more productive lift the person up don’t insult them and push them further down.

The Golden Rule, which the more I come to understand it, IS the most incredible Rule we could ever hope to have. It is a rule of GO FIRST. Go first in thought and in deed. Hold the other person in the highest esteem, the highest regard, expect the best and people tend to rise to the level of what is expected of them. Give first of your thoughts, your feelings, your energy, your time, your resources and while helping others you actually help yourself.

It is more than the simple notion of karma and what goes around comes around. Or you better watch out because YOU will get back what you put out.

While that may be the case it is truly more the question of ‘what do you want to create?’

What kind of world do you want to have? Do your want it filled with more hating or more loving? If you want the latter you and I need to begin right there by being more loving in all we do with everyone we are around.

sometimes smallest step is biggest step

It begins with us not with the other person. Being loving doesn’t include keeping score, having a one up one down power mentality. Loving means doing things that are loving and accepting for others; family, friends and strangers.  It also includes being more loving and accepting of ourselves.

I believe if each of us did nothing more than actually practiced the Golden Rule, wholeheartedly, not only would our own lives transform in absolutely positive incredible ways but then so would our world.

There will be some that will say, ‘well that is all fine and well but not everyone will do it’ and I say. ‘SO WHAT?’ Transformation doesn’t begin over there it begins right here in our own hearts and minds and beings. Be less concerned with what others do and absolutely concerned with what you do. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions and do not evangelically try to make others conform.

Live lovingly, treat others in loving ways and watch your world positively evolve! Treat yourself in loving ways and everything will transform. Don’t try to change others and require them to be anything other than completely who they are good or bad, instead go first and be loving and accepting. Lift them up and they will get up.

If you can help someone in their time of need, if you can support someone in their pursuits, their goals and passions, if you can be there in loving ways with a kind word or deed you are helping to make the world a better place. So pay it forward and enjoy how beautiful your life and all of life becomes!” Rex Sikes

Today, live, love, laugh and celebrate!

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