Tag Archives: Relationships

Beyond Failure Comes Success!

success after failure HILL

“Last night I was fortunate to be a guest at the surprise party for a good friend of mine. A wonderful party it was and I ate too much. I was delighted to be there. On the way over I was listening to a Napoleon Hill  audio about calamity and opportunity.

Hill points out that prior to success there often appears great disaster or failure. He discovered this during his 20 years interviewing the rich and successful for Andrew Carnegie. Success often happens after a great, great hardship.

This point has been one I have reflected on through the years. In every apparent failure there are seeds of opportunity. It is important to understand this, keep moving forward and not quit.

happiness depends on quality of your thoughts

After a short while at the party the birthday honoree arrived. Delighted but not very surprised. After welcoming all who were helping him celebrate he gave a short speech. He began by stating he had been looking back on his life recently and reflecting on mortality.

He then stated that it seemed that in his life his success and good fortune had always been preceded by ‘bad things’. He mentioned how he was rejected from a job he very much wanted as a young man. Dejected, he found that he had to go into business for himself. He stated that obviously that delivered a far better outcome for him than had he got the original job.

His success was predicated on that rejection. He did not state the following I simply point out that he was correct. He had built himself a wonderful business whereby his money worked for him and he could enjoy mostly free time. He is wealthy.

everyday u make a choice

He went on to state that because of the Holocaust and the Nazi Party he got to meet his wife and some of his best and dearest friends. Had it not been for this terrible event in history people present and meaningful in his life he would not know. He was enriched and blessed even when things were horribly wrong. Camp survivors and their offspring met. He was wealthy with friends and loved ones!

He celebrated his friends and loved ones and the success he had in life. He lives with appreciation and wonder on a daily basis. He is open to what life offers and he has made his way in the world. I was happy to be there and delighted at the remarkable synchronicity of the evenings theme. Challenges give way to opportunity. Celebrate everything and be grateful!” Rex Sikes

Have a fantastic day!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.



If You Aren’t Choosing Your Losing!

what consumes your mind controls your life

I saw a comment by someone on social media yesterday stating  ‘thoughts don’t do anything’. My thought for that person was, I hope it is true for him simply because he believes it. Science, philosophies, religious and everyday experience proves otherwise. Eons of investigation and commentary suggest that our thoughts have more power than most people realize. In fact, most people seem to miss this point altogether and never come to enjoy the incredible benefits of better thinking.

For many people life is merely okay. It is a mix of good and not so good, sometimes bad. For a lot of people it is a struggle. The reason seems to be that only a few people truly understand the power of thinking well. I have pointed out again and again that we become what we think about. Not my original idea at all, I co-opted it from Earl Nightengale but when I adopted that statement as an operating principle for my life everything began to change for the better.

We need to be mindful of our thoughts because our thoughts do have much more power than we realize. The reason people get so many mixed results, or merely an okay life experience is because instead of managing their thoughts their thoughts manage them.

Like a cork bobbing on the water drifts wherever the current takes it most people react to life situations similarly. For them, life is whatever comes along. When bad things happen or might happen they think about what they don’t like and don’t want. They obsess about what is wrong instead of obsessing about what is right.

thoughts design my energy

So if it is accurate that you get or become what you predominantly think about or hold in your head then mixed results come from not having any predominant thought. Poor results come from focusing on what is wrong, what they don’t have or what bad event is going to possibly occur in the future.

When life is a problem or less than you hope it to be, then the glass is either half filled with whatever, or it is certainly more filled with negative thinking than with positive thinking. It is common sense frankly! If you want a most wonderful life then the majority of your experience, your thoughts, feelings and actions must be wonderful. The bulk of your time must be spent thinking about what is fabulous, what you are grateful for, what you can accomplish and so on. The majority of your thinking must be positive!

If you obsessively fear that your relationship is falling apart you are increasing the likelihood that it will.  Why? because you are not focused on the reasons you are together. You are not spending your time or your thoughts loving and enjoying each other. You are focused on what is wrong and what will go wrong in the future. You aren’t focused on the ties that bind you.

If you are consumed with the notion that you might get fired or lose your job you are increasing the likelihood of getting fired. The more energy you give the problem the more likely you continue or advance the problem. You do not diminish it by obsessively thinking about it.

life is not hapening to you life is responding

If you are thinking negative thoughts about anything the more energy you put into it the more you get the results you fear. This is true about your love and family life, your career and job, your relations with friends and strangers, your health, wealth and well-being. NO one ever gets healthy thinking how sick they are.

It has been said that, “Worry is negative goal setting” and I think that is a profound statement. We bring about whatever we think about! Like attracts like, birds of a feather flock together. What we focus on we become! Why plan for disaster? Stop it! Plan to make it better!

People who experience anxiety, anger issues, and depression have learned to put their mind in certain directions more than in another direction. It isn’t their fault but they have learned how to do this for whatever reasons. Most all of us have learned to do this to varying degrees. All of us can learn to put our minds in more productive directions using the approaches, I’ve been describing all along, in this blog.

Your thoughts and feelings create your life. They create your reality. Energy begets energy just as priming the pump brings the well water. What begins as a trickle can become a mighty flow. This is true about negative thinking and it is true about positive thinking. Choose which flow you want.

your thoughts become words

Why are so many people negative?  Who knows for certain? It may be that we are raised in an environment where we grow up comparing ourselves to others. Media and messages constantly bombard us with the notion that we are incomplete unless we have a certain product, a certain knowledge, a certain something. We are told what to think, do and say in order to survive. News is always negative because that is what sells. I’m sure there is a boat load of reasons.

So why are so many people negative? I don’t know for sure but I am sure about this; more people need to begin to take responsibility for their own thinking. More people need to understand that change is possible and up to them! People can improve their thinking and their lives incredibly! It is absolutely doable! Anyone can do it! You can!

Others can help.  This blog, the books and audios, workshops and seminars, the sciences, philosophies and religions can all assist and point to the positive path. All of these can inspire and motivate. Ultimately, if YOU want change for the future YOU have to change what YOU are doing currently.

YOU have to take charge of your thinking! No one can do it for you. Although, hanging out with positive people can be a great help as you move forward. Spending time with powerfully positive encouraging people is a great thing to do. Find them and spend time with them!

your only limits

Your thoughts shape and create your reality over time. Like attracts like. The more you worry about something, the more you begin to attract exactly the energy you are worried about! The more you regret, fear, hate, and are angry about things the more you attract the same.  What you hold in your head you will hold in your hand. What you think about you bring about!

Do you want to create a happy life? Would you like things to get better and be better? Would you like more joy, self-love, peace, financial freedom, better health, loving relationships, a great home and home-life, things you have always wanted? Do you want to travel, learn some new skill, have an incredible career, meet more people? You can have all these and more! You can create and attract what you want and need BUT you have to do it!! YOU DO!

If you want to create a happier experience then utilize the same principle and begin to think thoughts of  love, health, wealth, abundance, peace, joy, and happiness. Think the best about yourself, others, and your circumstances. FInd the hidden gold and opportunity in all challenges. Think solutions and what you can do. Focus on what you want NOT on what you don’t want.

WHEN you do this consistently you will begin getting good results, Instead of ending up with exactly what you don’t want you begin to get what you DO want! It is all up to you and what you do daily.

what we project we perceive

You have the power  to create a life of negativity, lack and worry, if you continue to think and obsess about negative events and people. You also have the power and the ability and all the tools needed to make your life experience something truly wonderful.

While, it sounds trite to say it the fact of the matter is your life will become exactly what you think it will be. You will become what you predominantly think about most during the day. What you think about you bring about.

You CAN fill your life with love, gratitude, appreciation, respect, integrity, joy, peace, blessings, wealth, health, and incredible well-being by staying focused on all the wonderful good things! Manage your thoughts! You have a choice. Choose wisely!” Rex Sikes

Do something amazing for yourself and others today!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.



How To Get Great Power And Get What You Want


“Life IS what you make of it! You really do make it. You are making things happen in many different ways, You initiate, you create it. You react or respond to others but, regardless, all of your actions and inactions have consequences. Take responsibility! Some people will balk at this idea because they believe that some things are just out of our control. To think you don’t have control  is a mindset of weakness.

Why take 100% responsibility for everything? Because when you accept responsibility you get power. Tremendous power! When you think and act as if you are in charge of everything that happens in you AND to you and around you then you free yourself  from victim mentality. You act as a strong person in charge because you are in control. You think and feel and act as a victor.

You can think more clearly, feel more powerfully and act with commitment.  You cut through a lot of bull when you take 100% responsibility because you stop conning yourself and making excuses. You stop blaming yourself and others. You feel better. You feel great! You feel as good as you CHOOSE to feel!

Make it a point to live each day of YOUR life 100% ‘on purpose’. Then you will  readily come to understand that everything really does originate with thought. You will  appreciate the concept that what we think about most often, most of the time, is what we become. You will KNOW that the results you get ARE because of your thoughts, feelings and actions. If you don’t like what you are getting you will know what to change to get what you want.

never give up

You will feel yourself powerful. If you want something it will be up to you to make it happen. You might not know the ‘how’ yet YOU will find the way. You will feel good about what you are able to accomplish. You will discover positive creative power and your planning power. You will act with dedication and passion.

Some people get upset frustrated with their circumstances or current situation. They get stressed and unhappy about things. When you accept full responsibility that YOU somehow caused it then YOU can change it! You have the power within you to transform it. You transform everything with your thoughts! This mindset is wonderful.

Cut through all the crap and stop giving away your power. Stop blaming and making excuses.  You will have much more energy for yourself. Your life will transform. You take less than glorious moments and make them better. You change your thoughts, your feelings and your actions accordingly. You work to transform the outer circumstances as you are able. What you cannot change you accept and adjust for. YOU make your life better.

You act on purpose and with purpose. So live ‘on purpose’, and ‘be at cause’ and make great things happen for yourself and others Keep these words in mind; ‘If it is to be it is up to me!'” Rex Sikes

Do it! Have a fabulous day!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

Today Is Your Day. Do This!

the choice to have a great attitude

“Why don’t you just take today to relax and feel good. It’s not the weekend, it’s not hump day. It is just a regular ole’ day. Thursday. Doesn’t matter which day it is take this day and make it special for yourself.

If you go to work make it a point to relax, take some breaths, stretch a bit, smile more and make the day easy going for you no matter what goes on.  Keep on working well but do it with a delightful attitude.If you don’t work do the same thing, relax, take some breathes, smile more. Find things to enjoy and delight in.

Enjoy this day. Make each moment marvelous for yourself and maybe another person too. Think some happy thoughts, say thanks to others.  Find things about today and who or what surrounds you to appreciate and feel grateful for. Find something inspiring to read or spend some time thinking about. Positively daydream when you are able.

Do this for no reason at all. Do it just because you could. Make it your day to feel a bit better. To feel as well as you can. To feel absolutely grand. Today, is all up to you. Enjoy it!” Rex Sikes

Determine to make each day special. Why not? Each day belongs to you!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.



Outrageous! You Learned To Do This!?!

we are what we repeatedly do

“Everything is a process. Life is a process. We are born, we grow and age. It takes time to develop and be able to do many skills from our earliest ones such as rolling over; sitting up; balance; motion and crawling; feeding oneself; and on to other skills  like reading, and writing.

During our childhood development we played, we pretended, we had imaginary friends, we learned games and rules for things like hide and seek, hop scotch, board games, video games and sports. We learned to take exams in school, ride a bike, take a bus, drive a car.

There are so many things we learned and most of our life has been spent learning in one way or another. The other parts of our life are spent using what we have learned. Both parts occur simultaneously. It is all a process.

Each and everything we learned and acquired as behaviors and skills took the time it took to be able to do it and perhaps, eventually, master. We can’t really rush any of it. Whatever time it took to get as good as we have got is the time it took. We can’t hurry it up any more than we can hurry up getting from 12 to 16 or 16 wanting to be 18. The time it takes IS the time it takes. There is a season for everything.

repetition of thought Napoleon Hill

While there are methods for accelerating some of the things we are capable of learning all of it is a process that improves, like wine, with age. In our case it is not only a matter of time but of repetition, correct repetition, because we can practice poorly or we can practice the wrong things. Regardless, we either end up with reliable great skills or reliable poor skills or with the ability to do wrong things. We are learning machines!

We learn through correct repetition and  by making mistakes and correcting these. We learn through self-feedback and by guidance from others. We learn by aiming forward and doing whatever it takes to learn, acquire and accomplish. Mostly, we learn  by doing. As we learn through time, repeating correctly, correcting mistakes we gain experience and hopefully wisdom. Ahhh, to be truly wise! Wouldn’t that be marvelous AND helpful!

We have learned so many incredible things during our lives.

We have also learned some pretty useless things and some bad habits and patterns. We learned whatever we learned along the way. Much of our learning occurs without any conscious thought and some of it does require it. We learned so much before we could even speak, read or write. We learned to communicate and understand our native language without any book or reference material. We are amazing learners!

success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out

We learned to sit in class and pay attention, we learned to be good citizens and follow rules, we learned to do things and even eat things we didn’t like at first. We learned to break rules and color outside the lines. We learned to smoke or put things in our body that at first offended our senses. Truly, we can learn anything!

We learned we should speak our minds, stand up and be counted and we learned that we should be polite, never say anything rude, be quiet and don’t stand out. We learned that mavericks are unwanted and we learn that to get ahead you must be a maverick. We learned that we must get an education to succeed and we learned that many of the truly innovative, wealthy successful people in the world were drop-outs.

We learned contradictory things. We learned rules and beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world. We learned to think along certain lines that govern what we say and do and what we don’t say and don’t do.

its a slow process but quitting wont speed it up

We learned to believe we are incredible learners who can do anything or we learned that we were okay learners, poor learners or broken learners. We learned we should say ‘no to drugs’ but accept the drugs ‘they’ want to give us because ‘they’ know best.

We learned that certain brands of products make us brighter, smarter and more appealing to potential partners. We learned that human smells, and functions are nasty and need help from corporations to make our normal functions tolerable.

We learned that there is a price we must pay if we want the goods and we learned that if we act today, and today only, they will give us, not one but  two of the product for the very same price.

We learned it is important to be honest, upright and act with integrity and we learned that all the people who are supposed to represent us, the politicians, lie and some may be profiting from political pursuits. We learned we should trust ‘the powers that be’ and we learned that even the media lies. We learned advertisers will say anything. We learned be nice to all people and we learned be wary of strangers. WOW we have learned a lot!

attitude difference between ordeal and adventure

We learned we were invaluable and loved and deserving of every good thing or we learned we don’t have enough, don’t deserve it and probably will never get ahead. We have learned so many things.

We learned the world is a wonderful friendly abundant place or we learned the world is a cold, cruel heartless place. We have learned contradictory things that we have come to accept as true whether they may be or not.

We learned we can handle any challenge and move forward not letting anything stand in our way and that we are victors. Or we learned life and others can crush us, we are lucky if we can survive and that we will always have to deal painfully what happened as a survivor.  We learned to be victims.

We have learned we must ‘let it go’ and we have learned ‘we must never forget’. We learned that the past either propels us into the future or the past holds us back.

the secret of success is your daily routine - change

It has been pointed out that a belief is really just a thought you think over and over. It doesn’t have to be an accurate reflection of what is going on (frankly, it can’t ever be) or what is ‘true’ but WE think it is. We ACT as if it is. Hence, we live from our thoughts, that we think are right, which we have learned to think over and over again and accept as true whether or not they actually are! Whaaat!?!?

As Henry Ford stated, ‘Whether you believe you can or you can’t you are right.’

Yes, we project onto ourselves and others notions that we have come to accept and think because these thoughts travel well traveled neural pathways. Much of what we learn to think, do and feel we have learned from watching, listening and interacting with others. We have adopted their rules, beliefs and projections without even realizing it. Some we HAVE decided to adopt. I think this is outstanding!

We are incredible learners! As such we ought to recognize this about ourselves, pat ourselves on the back and appreciate all of what we have been able to learn and do during our lifetime. Frankly, it is amazing. Congratulations and celebrations are in order.

positive  thinking is having confindence in your abilities

We have even tried to manage our learning by getting frustrated when we haven’t learned quick enough or performed well enough. That is a funny thing that we learned to do. We learned to comment and criticize as we endeavor to learn to do things we have never done before as if somehow we are an expert already.

We have learned to get in our own way and hopefully we have learned to get out of our own way too at times. We have learned to try hard and we have learned to relax, well hopefully we have.

Really, when you consider everything there ISN’T anything we think, do or feel that we haven’t in some way learned to think, do or feel. After all we are a human organism and anything we are capable of doing had to come from somewhere. Even if there is a genetic predisposition we had to think it or do it or feel it for the very first time, and then do it again at some point.

We become patterned and habitual, we have developed neural pathways so we don’t have to learn everything over and over again. We don’t have to invent the wheel again and again. This is a remarkable thing. It is incredible and an amazing advantage.

everyday u make a choice

Of course, the down side is we also wired in the useless or not so glorious skills, habits and unwanted behaviors. We got the fantastic with the less than glorious. Oh well, that is just the way it is.

Along the way we can begin to determine what we want. We can decide and choose what to add into ourselves, what we would like to learn and enjoy. We can decide what we want to change. We use our conscious mind to guide and direct this incredible unconscious bevy of acquired learnings.

We have learned everything that is good and ‘not so good’ RELIABLY because of these tried and true well traveled neural pathways. This is the reasonWHY changing some things we want to change can SEEM difficult at first. It is meant to be that way or we’d be re-inventing the wheel again and again. So changing DOES require some effort up front.

Still, WE CAN learn to change anything! We can learn to do anything if and when we apply ourselves. We can make whatever change we want to make but we have to do it and stick with it through the process. We have to take the time and do what is necessary for as long as it is necessary to make the change. When we do we will succeed. Through the process we will seemingly fail, we will make mistakes, there may be a tendency to criticize but we will prevail as long as we keep at it! We will succeed if we never quit.

that i do today imporves ur tomorrows

You can be, do and have anything you want when you learn how! Success is only a decision away. Some learned to procrastinate others learned to jump right it. How we make decisions was learned.

Some learned to try and the give up others learned to keep on trying until they get what they want. Whatever you do IS because YOU learned to do it.

Right now you can learn to do something good, something new, something positive and something beneficial for yourself. You can learn to become inspired, motivated and passionate for positive change. You can lean to make all your dreams and desires come true!  You can YOU actually CAN! So, when will you? You will when you begin! Begin today!” Rex Sikes

What marvelous moments can you delight in today?

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.


Who Do You Think You Are?

correct your mind the rest will fall into place

“Who are you? The answer is, you are who you think you are. You are either a poor person who doesn’t have enough and lives hand to mouth, a pauper, perhaps, or you are a wealthy millionaire living abundantly enjoying everything there is to enjoy. Who deserves it!

The fact of the matter is that  what is currently in your bank account doesn’t matter. Your past and present do not define you. YOU define you!  What matters is your self definition, the view of yourself, the thoughts you think about you. These determine who are you. You determine who you are and how far you will go. You determine what your life will be like and what you do and have. YOU, it is all up to you!

You decide who you are . Your present situation shows you what your thoughts about you have been up until now. You are where your thoughts brought you. You will go where your thoughts take you. If you like where you are at, fabulous! Keep it up!

If you do not like your current circumstances YOU can change them! You can make life more of what you want it to be, BUT, you have to be willing to change what you are doing! That is the key. If you want your life to change then you must make some changes first. Then you can have everything you want.

Everything begins in thought. Thought precedes feelings and actions. Reality is really only our interpretation. You’d be better off imagining that you are very wealthy but have yet to deposit all that money in your account than to worry about about your current financial situation. Worry and fear only bring about more of the same. You don’t want more lack do you? If you want abundance you focus on it!

worry takes away today's peace

The point is to aim high at what you want to become. You may not have everything yet, but in your mind you should assume that you do and live there as though you have.  Imagine vividly what you want as though you already have all of it. See yourself as your ideal self and continue to hold these thoughts in your mind. Daily! Often!

Send a clear command to your unconscious mind (your servo-mechanism) that this is who you are and what you want. Then patiently wait for it to develop. It is a process and takes some time.

You faithfully work on it daily. It works similarly to planning a trip. You chose your ultimate destination. You know where you want to end up and then you travel there. You may have to alter your route from time to time but you keep heading toward where you want to end up. You  get there bit by bit. You can’t rush it.  It takes whatever amount of time it takes but ultimately you arrive at your chosen direction, but, you have to stick with it and never quit.

So decide who you are. Decide what you do and what you have and keep that alive in your mind daily. Stay positive! It is not what is presently going on that matters! You created that previously. Do not focus on the present circumstances!  Focus on what you want and how it will be in the future. Maintain that focus habitually! Stick with it.

see it in your mind first

How do you deal with the present? You embrace it with compete and utter gratitude. After all, you brought it about whether you wanted to or not. Appreciate everything.  Take 100% responsibility and appreciate yourself. You move forward faster when you are grateful!

Whatever you did, whatever you have was because of what you thought and did at that time. Whatever you did you did. No worries no matter. No blame. Accept it. You acted as you knew how to act then. What matters most is what you decide from here on out. From this moment on is what matters! It is what you do next and what you continue to do that will determine what your future will be like!

Recognize that YOU can make the future whatever you want it to be. Go back and re-read these blog posts for more details, tips, strategies and principles that will help guide you into having an incredible future!

Handle  current problems by focusing on the solutions and remaining positive. Stay calm and relaxed. Remember worry and negativity don’t help anything. Stay focused on your destination. Don’t get sidetracked. Keep your focus. You can and will make it happen!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate Today! It Is A Special Day! It is the only day of its kind you will ever have!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

Momentum: Works Against You or For You!

thoughts design my energy

“Have you noticed that when someone does something AND you get angry that a very fast sequence of events occurs? The action by that other person triggers something in you.  Perhaps, the person said or did something that offended you. You heard it and realized that it was offensive. That moment is when things really get going.

Thoughts begin to jam into your head. You begin to think of examples and more examples of how the other person is wrong. They are wrong not only now but in the past. One example leads to the next.  We find all the reasons they are wrong, We find the reasons everything is wrong!

We blame them for our present discomfort.  We blame them for previous discomfort. We begin to get hot, we get louder. Things speed up and we begin to lose control. Our being is flooded with chemicals and hormones and feelings that are less than glorious. We are mad. Boy, are we mad! We may even turn our anger on ourselves too.

We get hot under the collar and then we get hotter and hotter. Pretty soon we are very angry. We may behave in ways that we don’t want to. We hate getting angry. Did you ever notice that it seems difficult to stop being angry during all this? It IS hard to change direction ONCE we get going. Anger and negativity gain in  momentum!

It is difficult to stop because as we get angry everything does start speeding up.  These ‘hot’ emotions  gain velocity. More thoughts, more blames, more negative feelings rush in. Everything escalates. Pretty soon we are in a shouting match.

Why are we shouting at each other? Because the same thing is occurring in the other person. One negtive thought leads to another negative thought. Birds of a feather flock together. Before we know it we are battling. Negativity fosters or attracts more negativity!

The reason for this is because these thoughts and feelings travel well worn, well traveled neural pathways. We have gone this route  before, again and again. While different things may cause us irritation we tend to get angry the very same way. In fact, we get frustrated the same way. We get confused the same way. We get turned on the same way. Whatever triggers whichever emotional state in us the result is we move through the emotions pretty much the same way each time.

Researchers estimate that most of our behaviors are the same. We are automatons carrying out programmed activities. We operate by rote.  We are habitual and patterned creatures. We work reliably, consistently, producing similar results each time outside of our awareness and conscious control.

what you allow is what will continue

We are mostly unconscious with a little bit of consciousness. We have a little bit of an ability to direct and control. The vast majority of us does whatever it learned to do, over and over again forever, UNTIL we learn to do something else instead. If you doubt this how many different ways do you have that you tie your shoes?

How often do you switch your washing order while bathing. You have a sequence don’t you? How often do you eat with the other hand or chew on the other side of your mouth? How frequently do you take alternate routes to work? Do you ever get dressed in a different order, top down or bottom up? Why or why not? Which foot do you first put your sock on or into your pant leg?  We are consistent creatures of habit.

This unconscious consistency is a tremendously valuable ability . We do not have to learn to do things over again each time we do them. We have neural pathway memory. It is streamlined it happens quickly. We don’t have to reinvent the wheel.

But anything that is a resource can also have a downside and vice versa.

When we travel pathways to positivity and productivity swiftly and consistently we deem it a great thing. We are happy we are unconsciously competent and reliable. BUT when the dark side rears its head we loathe the fact that we think and behave poorly, inadequately and ineffectively. Our habits really do determine who we are and what we are able to enjoy!

As infants we pretty much began with a clean slate. We may have genetic predispositions BUT from experience living in our new environment we learned how to react to meet our needs. Our neurology responded to outer (and inner stimuli) and after a few times it no longer needed to respond it simply reacted. Our neurology learned what to do. The sequence fired off reliably from whatever trigger it.

How and why  we learned these habitual reactions is not so important.  Suffice to say we learned to react and behave this way during our development being surrounded by others. Some people learned to fight at the slightest provocation while others learned to retreat. Some bulldoze over everyone else while others cower and flee.  In another situation we may bolt and run it all depends.

There is no blame and no shame in having learned to do things while growing up. These are protective mechanisms as well. Even the least enjoyable and the most negative behaviors have seeds of resources within them. Nothing human is ever wholly negative. It may certainly seem that way though.

The point is that we react reliably. We react the same way. Once triggered a sequence occurs and will travel to the end of the sequence unless it is otherwise interrupted.

we first make our habits then our habits make us

So when we react with anger, or in any way we deem less than glorious, we react habitually the same way. It is important for me to clarify here that I think most, if not all, emotions and behaviors are useful in appropriate contexts. They are resources to be used.

At the right time and place anger (or any other emotion) may not only be appropriate to use but desirable AND the best choice. Anger is the right response at certain times. It is when we don’t want it or don’t need it that it may be an issue.

SO: Similar triggers or events by self, others or circumstances can launch us into a tirade or into running away. The sequence of internal neural firings is mostly the same. The course traveled the same and the outcome the same. That is why people find themselves doing things they don’t want to do again and again. It is a habit. It is in the neural wiring. Something triggers it and before we know it we are in it.

When the trigger occurs there IS a moment of opportunity. It is fleeting! There is a split second in which we could, if aware, disengage and step away from the process. It happens so quickly it may be hard to recognize in order to take advantage of it but with repeated trials one can find it and utilize it to engineer a different result.

When we get angry hot, or scared, chemicals are released in order for us to be able to fight or to flee in order to save our own lives. We were created or we evolved that way. It IS useful in certain situations but not in all the various situations we find in modern life. When humans lived outdoors and had deal with day to day survival these chemicals squirting inside us causing us to react quickly which served an important purpose. It helped us survive! It is much more rare today.

If a wild animal attacks you fighting or fleeing makes sense but if your spouse, boss or co-worker offends you the stakes are not actually the same. They only seem like it. We make it that important but truly the stakes aren’t that high.

Our lives in the modern world are much more tame or calm by comparison however, our neurology still perceives non-threatening situations (insults and disobedience) as ‘life threatening challenges’. They aren’t but we still react as if they are. We learned to.

When these chemicals release and begin to flood us (it is actually called ‘Emotional Flooding’) we react the way we have previously. We yell, scream, throw things, insult, cry, stamp our feet and do whatever we have done. Things escalate. We literally get hot, then hotter and hotter! We are able to actually tell when we are getting confused, frustrated, or angry. We recognize the sequence of neural and chemical firings. We can feel the changes occurring. We know what is happening but it seems outside our control.

success after failure HILL

An example I have frequently used to illustrate what happens when we become flooded with chemicals and emotions is to imagine a snowball on the top side of a mountain. Something triggers it to roll down the hill. As it begins to roll downhill it picks up snow, mass or weight, and more energy.  It’s velocity increases. It begins moving faster and faster all the while growing larger. While it grows in size and weight it grows in speed. It becomes a one giant steamrolling monster snowball. It can cause lots of damage on the way down.

Trying to stop it once it is of considerable size would be like trying to stop an automobile coming at you at 60 miles an hour. There is too much mass too much speed. It has gained momentum.

If you could stop it at the very beginning you could easily prevent the rest from occurring. You’d want to intercede between the trigger and its first movement. You have to catch it right as it begins to move because as soon as it picks up speed it becomes to difficult to stop. You’d need an equal and opposite or greater force.

If a snow ball is difficult for you to imagine think of a truck parked on the hill. The brakes give way and it begins to roll. If right at first you stepped in front of it you could stop it with your body or just by pushing back on it with you hands. It was moving slowly and it had not gained much momentum. Had it traveled too many feet you had best jump out of the way. It has gained too much momentum for you to stop it.

So when we fight or argue with another person there is a flash point, the trigger, and things get moving and pretty quickly after that. Fairly soon everything is moving along at top speed. There is momentum.

The less than glorious thoughts and feelings have  gained mass and velocity so it keeps moving on its own accord. You don’t have to do anything to keep it moving. The snowball and the truck careen down the hillside due to momentum.

So the trick is to catch it before it gets too far and to stop it. We will explore this is further detail in future posts. What I want you to know now is that most of us are familiar with this form of negative momentum. Many of us do want to change it. We actually can change it.  That is the good news?

What fewer of us realize is that just as there is negative momentum there is positive momentum. We could be flooded with positive powerful wonderful feelings more often but few of us have developed this as a habit. Thoughts and chemicals are released when we move into states of well-being, peace, joy, and happiness.

Wouldn’t it be nice to reduce or eliminate the negative unnecessary flooding? Wouldn’t you like to experience positive emotional flooding more often? I know I do.

to bring it into your life imagine it already there

The good news is that we can. We can be filled with the most incredible and delightful feelings more of the time during our days and nights. We can be feeling wonderful most of the time once we take the time to learn how. We need to wire it in just as we wired in the fight or flight patterns. We are able to learn to do this!

The difference NOW however, is that previously we learned how to do those habits without realizing we were learning them. We did all that outside of our awareness.  We learned it unconsciously. We didn’t realize at the time, most probably because we were very young, that we were learning and reinforcing patterns we might keep for a lifetime.

Now, today, we want to go in and deliberately change these to learn other more productive patterns and habits. Now we are deliberate about it. This makes a huge difference for some people. This sets apart the victims from the victors.

The victims, given the choice, don’t use it. They whine and complain that it is too hard to change. They state that they believe it is not realistic to be happy all the time. This reasoning comes from their habitual patterned way of thinking. Yes, they find all the reasons why it can’t and won’t work.

Why? because they have spent a life time gathering evidence for the beliefs they maintain. We all do.  If you believe something you will find the evidence for it.Our frames of mind determine what we are able to notice and pay attention to.

This is why our reality is ‘we see what we believe’ more than the other way around. Sadly, most of us won’t believe it until we get evidence for it AND it just doesn’t actually work that way neurologically.

Instead of trying something new they opt to remain the same.  They maintain the status quo.  They remain the same because this is how they previously have thought all along. They continue to maintain what they already think. They don’t challenge it or really try to change it. Seem my previous posts discussing Premature Cognitive Commitment.

IF they DO try they don’t stick with it long enough to learn to do something new, different and productive. Instead they take a step or two, stumble or fall and then they don’t bother to get up or even try to. They give up! Those that succeed in any endeavor fall many times but they get  up and continue forward. That is how you get success.

The victims decide, because of a previous decision made god knows when, that they can’t change, it is too hard or that trying isn’t worth it. They already are convinced that nothing  works. However, if they had stuck with it long enough they would prove themselves wrong.

change what is going on within you

People get uncomfortable when they are confronted with the fact that they might be wrong.  They will do whatever is necessary to maintain the status quo even if it IS not correct.  This is called Cognitive Dissonance.

People will keep doing the same things over and over hoping for different results (the definition of insanity) but getting the same results. When they get the same results, they exclaim, ‘see I told you there was no point’. It is a self reinforcing cycle. A self fulfilling prophecy.

In a nutshell it goes something like this. The person does not expect to be able to change, they think people are just the way they are. They try to change but realize it might be difficult so they quit thus proving it is hard to change because you are what you are, after all.

So for some people deciding to make change can be tricky. They wil find every excuse possible because it is more comfortable to cling to the excuse than it is to discover you may have been wrong in your thinking for many years. I point this out not to blame anyone. We are all susceptible to this, especially me, but to bring light to some of the reasons we might not act in our own best interests.

We can change! We can absolutely change! As I stated we will continue to explore how to get free, to make positive decisions and to create positive momentum. Many of the ways of doing this have been shared in previous blog posts. Re-read or read them for the very first time.

There are life transforming principles and practices in these pages. Some of these are my approaches and many of these are tried and true approaches shared by others far smarter and wiser than I. There are gold nuggets in these pages and in the pages of the works of wisdom down through the ages. All you have to do is begin using these.

Once we learn to think on the positive side of things it gets easier. Positive thoughts and feelings attract positive thoughts and feelings. We flood with chemicals and hormones of well being, peace and joy. Birds of a feather flock together. Then positivity and well-being gain in momentum.

Continue to do this and make it a habit. Take positive steps moment to moment, daily.  You see, we do become what we think about.

repetition is the mother of skill

We BECOME what we think about! There is a tipping point where we are predominantly positive instead of predominantly fine, or less than glorious or downright negative. We can tip the scales in our favor and feel wonderful more of the time! We can choose to be happy most of the time.

HOW? By doing as I have suggested in these posts. By filling your mind with positive inspirational material. By visualizing your life as you want it to be.  Imagine already having what you want to be, feel, do and have.

Recite positive affirmations with energy and enthusiasm. Use Directed Questions to aim your mind into positive possibilities. The secret is simple. As Earl Nightengale said, it is the strangest secret because it is so simple, and that is ‘we become what we think about’.

Decide to be the author of your life story, the captain of your ship, the one in charge of you. Decide today to do things that help you think and feel better.  Commit and encourage these thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Nudge them along, nurture them, inch your way if you want but create forward movement. Drop by drop the tub fills. Little things done repeatedly make a big difference.

There are consequences to the decisions and actions you take! You can change an outcome by changing your decisions and actions positively. You are responsible for the results you get or do not get. Which are you victim or victor? What will you do today?” Rex Sikes

Delight another and you delight yourself!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

Happiness Is A Choice! What Are You Choosing?

you are entirely up to you

Yes, you can be happy 100% of the time when you choose to be happy. It is a decision. It is a choice. You can chose not to be happy at any given moment. Everything is up to you. You are the decision maker.

Most people think it is up to others or to circumstances or the world or to God. People give their power and their choice away. Every single moment of every single day you have the choice how to respond. Whether you use your power or not is completely up to you.

Most people only react because much of their lives are spent not realizing WHO has the choice. They think and behave from patterned, habitual ways. So even though they have choice it appears to them as if they do not. They don’t realize that they actually do so they don’t act as if they do. Perception is everything! If you think you are powerless you are. If you believe you can make a difference you can!

Since they don’t act as a person with the power to choose they let other things, people, situations and events  determine how the moment will be. They let the outside determine how they feel inside.

In essence, they give their power away. Others or other things make the choices for them. Then they either accept it willingly or unwillingly. They feel at the mercy of ‘the universe’ or ‘luck’ and they blame something or someone for what happens in their lives.

you can master anything w self control

This is how many people live but it need not be this way. We can get free. We can make changes. We can live powerfully and positively!

In order to ‘get free’  we need to begin to be able to challenge some closely held assumptions and chronic beliefs. We need to interrupt patterns and habits and begin to exercise our choice muscle. We need to begin to take 100% responsibility for ourselves and our lives.

We need to stop putting the power outside of ourselves. We have to stop blaming others and external circumstances and begin to act as the captain of our own life and steer our life where we want it to go. If you want to be happy more of the time you have to chose to be happy. We need to shift our focus from what is outside ourselves to what we do on the inside. We need to shift focus. It begins with our thoughts.

we cant direct the wind

Nothing external  to us actually makes us happy  but it does seem that way.  Nothing will make us feel confident, worthwhile or valued from the outside. We think if we have the right car, the right house, the right income, or if people say the right things to us we will be happy but happiness, feeling valued, worthwhile  and secure is a choice that comes 100% from within. It begins within each of us.

When you ‘get it’ that you can actually be happy and feel wonderful  ANYTIME and ANYPLACE  YOU choose, regardless of what the external circumstances or situations may be, is the moment when you begin to become free. It is at that moment life becomes the life of your making and your design. Sure, things happen to us but the response is ours alone.

Never blame yourself for unwanted responses or for reacting in certain ways because that is resistance and what you resist you give strength to. As you begin to live a new way the old way attempts to pull you back. That is because of the habits and patterns you akready have. It is okay they served you. They have been a resource at times and at other times a limitation. So don’t fight them. You will move forward faster if you accept them and appreciate them while practicing behaving in the new ways.

two options any moment step forward or

Ultimately, as you practice new ways the new habits will take hold. Be patient and love yourself through it all. In my last post I pointed out that while learning a new route to your new home or job you may occasionally find yourself traveling to the old place of work or residence. That happens.  Its okay!

Ultimately you travel only the new route UNLESS you decide to go back and travel the old at some time. Now you have the new route becoming wired in and you can choose to travel the old route. You have a choice. In the same way the new thoughts, feelings and behaviors take hold and replace the old ones. You will develop your positive habits to replace the old ones.

When you don’t think or behave as you hope to. Simply recognize that you did not think, feel or behave as you have liked.  Note it, forgive yourself, (make amends with others if you have hurt them, do the right thing) accept yourself, and accept that you are learning to do new things that are not perfected yet. Everyone makes mistakes, that is okay it is all part of living. Move on.

When you first begin practicing ‘having choice’ you will encounter moments when you become aware that a decision can be made instead of only reacting.  Some of these moments you will blow right past. Again, that is okay! Recognize these as moments you want to respond differently to in the future. Awareness is one of the first steps in the process.

what you think about you bring about

There will be another opportunity to chose again in the near future. Meanwhile, utilize mental rehearsal. Imagine making the new choices. Think and see yourself behaving as you want to in the future. Visualize your successes. See yourself making the choices and responding the way you want to. Visualize repeatedly! You want to send strong, clear, precise messages to your unconscious mind that in these  moments these are the behaviors you want.

Imagine already having the new choices and behaviors and watch yourself choose the new ways. If it feels good you are on the right track. If something feels amiss make positive adjustments until you do feel good as you imagine the new future you. Rehearse your successes.

Athletes, actors, musicians, and others all understand the value of mental and physical rehearsal or practice to wire in the skills and behaviors you want to encourage, SO practice. You will get better as you do. Practice making choices! Practice being in charge! Practice living as a victor and being the captain of your own life!” Rex Sikes

Delight another and you delight yourself!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

How To Stop Unwanted Habits That Prevent Your Success

whatever we plant in our subconscious

Everything we do we do as a result of habits and patterns. Brain scientists tell us that most everything we think and do today we did the day before and the days before that. Situations may come and go, the world changes, but for the most part we react the same way or similarly most, if not, all of the time. We are already on automatic and have limited choices.

Your acceptance or reluctance to accept this notion is based on your habitual thinking. What you believe about yourself, others and the world are patterns of thought you most likely have maintained for a very long time and you may not even be sure how you came to think this way. It is estimated we think at least 60,000 thoughts a day and upwards of 60% of those are the same thoughts we thought the day before. We are habitual and routine.

This is a great thing! It is also an area of difficulty for some of us. If our habits developed and we feel wonderful and productive and filled with well-being then they serve us. If on the other hand we feel down, bored, sad, mad or unable to get ahead they seem to work against us.

The definition of insanity, you may recall, is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. We can’t continue doing the same things habitually while hoping the end result will be different. That is insane. The good news is we can develop new habits that serve us and that work automatically and reliably to help bring us the good results we desire. We can definitely learn to acquire these new beneficial habits. Keep this in mind: We can acquire new habits!

It is simple!  It is easy enough! It does require some effort.  You do have to engage the new process and do it as often and  for as long as it takes to wire it in. Not everyone is willing to do this but if you want to you can develop reliable positive new ones.

Repetition is what builds the muscle in exercise and it is the mechanism by which we do most everything. If you moved to a new house or got a new job do you recall that sometimes you may have discovered yourself taking the old route to the old home or place of work? You did that because it was a habit.

you will see it when you believe it

You knew you were going to the new place but somewhere you realized you had headed back to the old place. In time, by repeatedly traveling the new route to the new home or work you got used to it. After awhile the new route became second nature and you no longer went the old way. It became wired in. It became the new habit. You now went to the new place automatically!

You didn’t have to effort a whole lot you just had to take the new route. Whenever you discovered yourself going the old way you made adjustments and went the new way. It wasn’t that difficult and soon enough the new way replaced the old way.

The same thing happens as we develop positive habits in our thinking, our feeling and our behaviors. There is a tendency and a pull to do things the old way but in time and through repetitive practice you get the hang of the new way. The key is sticking with it long enough for the new way to take hold. If you give up and quit the new possibilities will never take hold.

Much depends on your commitment and enthusiasm and  the reasons why you want to develop new ways of thinking, being and behaving. Your motivation determines how much and how far you will go. The good news is that while the beginning may be slow and take a little time after awhile you do develop a momentum. You will begin to experience the good results you desire. The new results replace the old ways and work automatically. Great news don’t you think?

Consider this. You plant a seed and give it time to grow by waiting patiently. When the seed breaks ground as a young plant you nurture it along. You give it what it needs to mature.  You do the same thing to develop new habits of thought, feeling and behavior. Give your new thoughts, feelings and behaviors the time and opportunity to develop as habits and they will. Your new better, positive, productive habits will take hold and grow strong. This is just the way it works!

We will discuss this more in depth. I suggest you also go back through the blog and re-read posts again and again. That repetition is important! Just as you feed yourself food on a daily basis for the body you should feed yourself positive, inspirational, motivational food for the heart, soul and the mind. Use this blog, inspirational books and audios too. Your car is a great place to listen. Fill your being up!

habits formed by acts and broken by contrary acts

Fill yourself with the best thoughts and feelings. Even a little bit each day is better than none. Make this part of your daily regime and it will become a habit. The more you do the more you can do. Skill comes from doing. Repeat the good things you want more of and you will get them!

You can develop positive powerful habits that serve you and move you forward towards everything you want in life and you can absolutely break and replace old habits that hold you back. You just have to decide that you are going to! Then do what it takes. Inch your way there if you want to but do something each day in your own best interests and before long you will see good results.

If you really want to do something you will find a way. If you don’t want to do something you will find the excuses. Every day can be a glorious wonderful day regardless of what comes along to try to spoil it. You can learn how to respond instead of react automatically. Soon the ability to freely respond becomes a habit to replace the old one.

Anything is possible when you allow for it and do whatever it takes to make it happen.  Learn to live and enjoy life in dynamic new ways. The world is here for you to enjoy and delight in!” Rex Sikes

Rejoice and be glad in this day!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.


What is Your Purpose? Why You Must Know!

BE live in yourself

“Why are you here? What do you want to be and do more than anything else? What are you most passionate about? What is your mission during this lifetime?

Through the  eons thought leaders have pointed out that there were those who succeeded in life making their dreams come true. There were those who failed who did not or seemingly could not make it.

The major reasons for failure  pointed out was that people ‘drifted’. Those who had no ‘definite chief aim’ or purpose in life failed because they did not define or clarify what was most important to them.

Almost every self help text and book written through the ages points out you must know your purpose in life and pursue it. A definite purpose gives your life and actions meaning. To not go after something bigger than yourself is to live aimlessly. Drifting means to be tossed around like a cork bobbing in the water. So why are you here?

Think of it as a destination. When you know where you want to go you can figure out how to get there. You know when you are getting closer. If you have no clue where you want to end up you never actually arrive. Knowing your destination gives you something to aim at. Knowing your purpose gives your life meaning and direction.

It is important  to ask ourselves and determine what makes us most passionate? It could be great wealth, it could be service to others, it could be being an actor or artist, it could be becoming a loving parent, it could be working in science, finance, teaching, nursing, carpentry. What it might be is wide open. ‘IT’ could be anything!

the man on top of the mountain didn't fall there

It could be anything but only you will know what that is! No one else can tell you or inform you what you definite purpose or chief aim in life is.

SO Why are you here? What do you want to be and do more than anything else? What are you most passionate about? What is your mission?

The secret is to discovering or determining your purpose is to ask yourself what you want in life?  What do you love doing more than anything else?  It is the most important thing you can do for yourself and the world.

People who reach the pinnacles pursue their purpose non-stop day and night. They know why they are here and what they must do, They know why they must do it. It has been said, ‘what consumes your mind controls your life’, ‘what you think about you become!’

It can be challenging finding your purpose but once you do your life will never be the same. Once you clearly know it and focus on it you most likely will make it happen because you will be driven to. You will focus all of your energy and your thoughts on pursuing it. Every moment becomes and opportunity to make it happen. You will make opportunities and discover them as well. Defeats will always only be temporary along the road.

When you consciously and unconsciously know your purpose every atom of your being ‘gets it’.

whatever we plant in our subconscious

Few people ever define their purpose. It is said 5% or less actually think about it and write it down. Those who do discover theirs almost always achieve it because their entire being is aligned, congruent, dedicated and determined to succeed. They stop at nothing because they know why they are here and what they are to do with their lives.

You definite chief purpose can be a permanent overall life time pursuit. The one aim for your entire life.  You may have different goals or purposes for different areas of your life or for different projects. You can have more than one purpose.  Your purpose may be different at different times in your life. Spring and autumn differ. To begin the process just look at what you are most passionate about.

Some people find their purpose by discovering what they like and are most passionate about. Others discover their purpose in disaster, tragic circumstances, through suffering or loss. Many fail only to rise like a phoenix and go on to great things. Adversity and failing can be the very impetus that causes people to take stock and decide what they want and to go after with every fiber of their being.

Many learn to live in powerful and positive ways and inspire others inviting them to live positively too. They make an impact on the world and they touch the lives of others by finding what is truly most important to them. Some people dedicate themselves to making the world a better place one person at a time beginning with themselves, while others work for large groups of people.

The key to any great success is to find your purpose, discover, determine your definite chief aim in life.


This is an important theme we have discussed in this blog and will return to again and again. For this moment, get clear! Ask yourself:

What do you love to do more than anything else? What positive  impact would you like to make on the world? Why are you here? What are you to do in this lifetime? What are you passionate about?

Life is too short to not go after what you want. You don’t want to waste your life because of the day to day demands placed on you. So remember the saying ‘where there is a will there is a way’. You can go after your definite chief aim starting right where you are at this moment.

You may not know the way yet, don’t worry, you don’t have to, just get clear on your purpose first. Everything else will begin to fall in place when you do. Remember, we become what we think about most often!” Rex Sikes

Have a fantastic day! Declare it to be so and make it happen!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.