Category Archives: Overcoming Difficulty

Affirmations, Beliefs, Habit Formation, Happiness, Law Of Attraction, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development, Positive Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Positive Thoughts, Self Improvement, Success, Unlimited Power, Visualization

Happiness Is A Choice! What Are You Choosing?

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you are entirely up to you

Yes, you can be happy 100% of the time when you choose to be happy. It is a decision. It is a choice. You can chose not to be happy at any given moment. Everything is up to you. You are the decision maker.

Most people think it is up to others or to circumstances or the world or to God. People give their power and their choice away. Every single moment of every single day you have the choice how to respond. Whether you use your power or not is completely up to you.

Most people only react because much of their lives are spent not realizing WHO has the choice. They think and behave from patterned, habitual ways. So even though they have choice it appears to them as if they do not. They don’t realize that they actually do so they don’t act as if they do. Perception is everything! If you think you are powerless you are. If you believe you can make a difference you can!

Since they don’t act as a person with the power to choose they let other things, people, situations and events  determine how the moment will be. They let the outside determine how they feel inside.

In essence, they give their power away. Others or other things make the choices for them. Then they either accept it willingly or unwillingly. They feel at the mercy of ‘the universe’ or ‘luck’ and they blame something or someone for what happens in their lives.

you can master anything w self control

This is how many people live but it need not be this way. We can get free. We can make changes. We can live powerfully and positively!

In order to ‘get free’  we need to begin to be able to challenge some closely held assumptions and chronic beliefs. We need to interrupt patterns and habits and begin to exercise our choice muscle. We need to begin to take 100% responsibility for ourselves and our lives.

We need to stop putting the power outside of ourselves. We have to stop blaming others and external circumstances and begin to act as the captain of our own life and steer our life where we want it to go. If you want to be happy more of the time you have to chose to be happy. We need to shift our focus from what is outside ourselves to what we do on the inside. We need to shift focus. It begins with our thoughts.

we cant direct the wind

Nothing external  to us actually makes us happy  but it does seem that way.  Nothing will make us feel confident, worthwhile or valued from the outside. We think if we have the right car, the right house, the right income, or if people say the right things to us we will be happy but happiness, feeling valued, worthwhile  and secure is a choice that comes 100% from within. It begins within each of us.

When you ‘get it’ that you can actually be happy and feel wonderful  ANYTIME and ANYPLACE  YOU choose, regardless of what the external circumstances or situations may be, is the moment when you begin to become free. It is at that moment life becomes the life of your making and your design. Sure, things happen to us but the response is ours alone.

Never blame yourself for unwanted responses or for reacting in certain ways because that is resistance and what you resist you give strength to. As you begin to live a new way the old way attempts to pull you back. That is because of the habits and patterns you akready have. It is okay they served you. They have been a resource at times and at other times a limitation. So don’t fight them. You will move forward faster if you accept them and appreciate them while practicing behaving in the new ways.

two options any moment step forward or

Ultimately, as you practice new ways the new habits will take hold. Be patient and love yourself through it all. In my last post I pointed out that while learning a new route to your new home or job you may occasionally find yourself traveling to the old place of work or residence. That happens.  Its okay!

Ultimately you travel only the new route UNLESS you decide to go back and travel the old at some time. Now you have the new route becoming wired in and you can choose to travel the old route. You have a choice. In the same way the new thoughts, feelings and behaviors take hold and replace the old ones. You will develop your positive habits to replace the old ones.

When you don’t think or behave as you hope to. Simply recognize that you did not think, feel or behave as you have liked.  Note it, forgive yourself, (make amends with others if you have hurt them, do the right thing) accept yourself, and accept that you are learning to do new things that are not perfected yet. Everyone makes mistakes, that is okay it is all part of living. Move on.

When you first begin practicing ‘having choice’ you will encounter moments when you become aware that a decision can be made instead of only reacting.  Some of these moments you will blow right past. Again, that is okay! Recognize these as moments you want to respond differently to in the future. Awareness is one of the first steps in the process.

what you think about you bring about

There will be another opportunity to chose again in the near future. Meanwhile, utilize mental rehearsal. Imagine making the new choices. Think and see yourself behaving as you want to in the future. Visualize your successes. See yourself making the choices and responding the way you want to. Visualize repeatedly! You want to send strong, clear, precise messages to your unconscious mind that in these  moments these are the behaviors you want.

Imagine already having the new choices and behaviors and watch yourself choose the new ways. If it feels good you are on the right track. If something feels amiss make positive adjustments until you do feel good as you imagine the new future you. Rehearse your successes.

Athletes, actors, musicians, and others all understand the value of mental and physical rehearsal or practice to wire in the skills and behaviors you want to encourage, SO practice. You will get better as you do. Practice making choices! Practice being in charge! Practice living as a victor and being the captain of your own life!” Rex Sikes

Delight another and you delight yourself!

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Affirmations, Blessings, Faith, Goals, Habit Formation, Law Of Attraction, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development, Positive Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Positive Thoughts, Self Improvement, Success, Unlimited Power, Visualization

How To Stop Unwanted Habits That Prevent Your Success

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whatever we plant in our subconscious

Everything we do we do as a result of habits and patterns. Brain scientists tell us that most everything we think and do today we did the day before and the days before that. Situations may come and go, the world changes, but for the most part we react the same way or similarly most, if not, all of the time. We are already on automatic and have limited choices.

Your acceptance or reluctance to accept this notion is based on your habitual thinking. What you believe about yourself, others and the world are patterns of thought you most likely have maintained for a very long time and you may not even be sure how you came to think this way. It is estimated we think at least 60,000 thoughts a day and upwards of 60% of those are the same thoughts we thought the day before. We are habitual and routine.

This is a great thing! It is also an area of difficulty for some of us. If our habits developed and we feel wonderful and productive and filled with well-being then they serve us. If on the other hand we feel down, bored, sad, mad or unable to get ahead they seem to work against us.

The definition of insanity, you may recall, is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. We can’t continue doing the same things habitually while hoping the end result will be different. That is insane. The good news is we can develop new habits that serve us and that work automatically and reliably to help bring us the good results we desire. We can definitely learn to acquire these new beneficial habits. Keep this in mind: We can acquire new habits!

It is simple!  It is easy enough! It does require some effort.  You do have to engage the new process and do it as often and  for as long as it takes to wire it in. Not everyone is willing to do this but if you want to you can develop reliable positive new ones.

Repetition is what builds the muscle in exercise and it is the mechanism by which we do most everything. If you moved to a new house or got a new job do you recall that sometimes you may have discovered yourself taking the old route to the old home or place of work? You did that because it was a habit.

you will see it when you believe it

You knew you were going to the new place but somewhere you realized you had headed back to the old place. In time, by repeatedly traveling the new route to the new home or work you got used to it. After awhile the new route became second nature and you no longer went the old way. It became wired in. It became the new habit. You now went to the new place automatically!

You didn’t have to effort a whole lot you just had to take the new route. Whenever you discovered yourself going the old way you made adjustments and went the new way. It wasn’t that difficult and soon enough the new way replaced the old way.

The same thing happens as we develop positive habits in our thinking, our feeling and our behaviors. There is a tendency and a pull to do things the old way but in time and through repetitive practice you get the hang of the new way. The key is sticking with it long enough for the new way to take hold. If you give up and quit the new possibilities will never take hold.

Much depends on your commitment and enthusiasm and  the reasons why you want to develop new ways of thinking, being and behaving. Your motivation determines how much and how far you will go. The good news is that while the beginning may be slow and take a little time after awhile you do develop a momentum. You will begin to experience the good results you desire. The new results replace the old ways and work automatically. Great news don’t you think?

Consider this. You plant a seed and give it time to grow by waiting patiently. When the seed breaks ground as a young plant you nurture it along. You give it what it needs to mature.  You do the same thing to develop new habits of thought, feeling and behavior. Give your new thoughts, feelings and behaviors the time and opportunity to develop as habits and they will. Your new better, positive, productive habits will take hold and grow strong. This is just the way it works!

We will discuss this more in depth. I suggest you also go back through the blog and re-read posts again and again. That repetition is important! Just as you feed yourself food on a daily basis for the body you should feed yourself positive, inspirational, motivational food for the heart, soul and the mind. Use this blog, inspirational books and audios too. Your car is a great place to listen. Fill your being up!

habits formed by acts and broken by contrary acts

Fill yourself with the best thoughts and feelings. Even a little bit each day is better than none. Make this part of your daily regime and it will become a habit. The more you do the more you can do. Skill comes from doing. Repeat the good things you want more of and you will get them!

You can develop positive powerful habits that serve you and move you forward towards everything you want in life and you can absolutely break and replace old habits that hold you back. You just have to decide that you are going to! Then do what it takes. Inch your way there if you want to but do something each day in your own best interests and before long you will see good results.

If you really want to do something you will find a way. If you don’t want to do something you will find the excuses. Every day can be a glorious wonderful day regardless of what comes along to try to spoil it. You can learn how to respond instead of react automatically. Soon the ability to freely respond becomes a habit to replace the old one.

Anything is possible when you allow for it and do whatever it takes to make it happen.  Learn to live and enjoy life in dynamic new ways. The world is here for you to enjoy and delight in!” Rex Sikes

Rejoice and be glad in this day!

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What is Your Purpose? Why You Must Know!

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BE live in yourself

“Why are you here? What do you want to be and do more than anything else? What are you most passionate about? What is your mission during this lifetime?

Through the  eons thought leaders have pointed out that there were those who succeeded in life making their dreams come true. There were those who failed who did not or seemingly could not make it.

The major reasons for failure  pointed out was that people ‘drifted’. Those who had no ‘definite chief aim’ or purpose in life failed because they did not define or clarify what was most important to them.

Almost every self help text and book written through the ages points out you must know your purpose in life and pursue it. A definite purpose gives your life and actions meaning. To not go after something bigger than yourself is to live aimlessly. Drifting means to be tossed around like a cork bobbing in the water. So why are you here?

Think of it as a destination. When you know where you want to go you can figure out how to get there. You know when you are getting closer. If you have no clue where you want to end up you never actually arrive. Knowing your destination gives you something to aim at. Knowing your purpose gives your life meaning and direction.

It is important  to ask ourselves and determine what makes us most passionate? It could be great wealth, it could be service to others, it could be being an actor or artist, it could be becoming a loving parent, it could be working in science, finance, teaching, nursing, carpentry. What it might be is wide open. ‘IT’ could be anything!

the man on top of the mountain didn't fall there

It could be anything but only you will know what that is! No one else can tell you or inform you what you definite purpose or chief aim in life is.

SO Why are you here? What do you want to be and do more than anything else? What are you most passionate about? What is your mission?

The secret is to discovering or determining your purpose is to ask yourself what you want in life?  What do you love doing more than anything else?  It is the most important thing you can do for yourself and the world.

People who reach the pinnacles pursue their purpose non-stop day and night. They know why they are here and what they must do, They know why they must do it. It has been said, ‘what consumes your mind controls your life’, ‘what you think about you become!’

It can be challenging finding your purpose but once you do your life will never be the same. Once you clearly know it and focus on it you most likely will make it happen because you will be driven to. You will focus all of your energy and your thoughts on pursuing it. Every moment becomes and opportunity to make it happen. You will make opportunities and discover them as well. Defeats will always only be temporary along the road.

When you consciously and unconsciously know your purpose every atom of your being ‘gets it’.

whatever we plant in our subconscious

Few people ever define their purpose. It is said 5% or less actually think about it and write it down. Those who do discover theirs almost always achieve it because their entire being is aligned, congruent, dedicated and determined to succeed. They stop at nothing because they know why they are here and what they are to do with their lives.

You definite chief purpose can be a permanent overall life time pursuit. The one aim for your entire life.  You may have different goals or purposes for different areas of your life or for different projects. You can have more than one purpose.  Your purpose may be different at different times in your life. Spring and autumn differ. To begin the process just look at what you are most passionate about.

Some people find their purpose by discovering what they like and are most passionate about. Others discover their purpose in disaster, tragic circumstances, through suffering or loss. Many fail only to rise like a phoenix and go on to great things. Adversity and failing can be the very impetus that causes people to take stock and decide what they want and to go after with every fiber of their being.

Many learn to live in powerful and positive ways and inspire others inviting them to live positively too. They make an impact on the world and they touch the lives of others by finding what is truly most important to them. Some people dedicate themselves to making the world a better place one person at a time beginning with themselves, while others work for large groups of people.

The key to any great success is to find your purpose, discover, determine your definite chief aim in life.

emerson

This is an important theme we have discussed in this blog and will return to again and again. For this moment, get clear! Ask yourself:

What do you love to do more than anything else? What positive  impact would you like to make on the world? Why are you here? What are you to do in this lifetime? What are you passionate about?

Life is too short to not go after what you want. You don’t want to waste your life because of the day to day demands placed on you. So remember the saying ‘where there is a will there is a way’. You can go after your definite chief aim starting right where you are at this moment.

You may not know the way yet, don’t worry, you don’t have to, just get clear on your purpose first. Everything else will begin to fall in place when you do. Remember, we become what we think about most often!” Rex Sikes

Have a fantastic day! Declare it to be so and make it happen!

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Blessings, Gratitude, Happiness, Joy, Law Of Attraction, Learning, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development, Positive Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Positive Thoughts, Self Improvement, Success, Unlimited Power

Feeling Boxed In? Do This Now!

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whoever cares to learn will find a teacher

“We spend most of our time seated, looking only a few feet away at computer screens or across a room. Our field of vision is narrowly limited. We rarely move. The only time we do move is to get coffee, relieve ourselves, change offices and enter or leave work. Many of our illnesses today can be traced to lack of movement, sitting for too long and recycled boxed air. We are surrounded by artificial light and the constant hum of computers and machines. Our day to day sees little actual change in environment and habit. People tend to get colds and flu more frequently in winter because we ARE indoors even more. We need to change this to be healthier. The good news is we can!

Humans are a very different breed today. We live in ways that we have yet to really adapt to or evolve into.This one of the major reasons we are sick a lot. We are not doing what we were intended to do. Early humans spent the bulk of their day moving while foraging, hunting or later working the fields. Our day should be spent moving just as much as they did but it isn’t. Still, it is important for us to try to get as much movement in each day as we possibly can. The hour at the gym isn’t enough. Move more, walk more, stand up more while at work if you are able.

Our focus and field of vision, our peripheral vision are stilted, narrowed and boxed in because we rarely look far off. Most of the day we only really look and see a few feet in front of us. We don’t realize how our visual field has shifted narrowly living in urban settings. We need to shift our focus and to expand it. We can’t do this indoors. We need to get outdoors and look far off into the distance. Get in touch with the world around you. Leave your box home, your box office, your box gym and get out of doors and into nature

By walking outdoors we can actually enlarge what we are able to take in and notice. This ability is great for problem solving, finding solutions, memory and improved concentration. Walk, looking far off into the distant horizon, because when you do you expand your field of vision. Set your gaze far away. Eventually, you will notice everything around you begins to open up and you will see and experience so much more. It is healthy to do this and it is healthy to get outdoors and walk. An hour of uninterrupted casual walk is best for you. Keep your focus out there, far away, on the horizon. Adjust it only for safety. Don’t walk where there are cars or lots of traffic or dangerous pathways.

red tree golden valley path and clouds

Do this daily and eventually you will notice your ability to expand and narrow your focus as needed increasing. You will discover greater flexibility in your thinking and creativity. You actually open up and utilize new neural pathways. The benefits are numerous and delightful! You may even notice yourself thinking and feeling healthier.

Consider what is being done to our children. They are forced to sit in desks all day. They must listen to adequate orators (at best usually). Their playground time, recess and gym activities have all been curtailed over the decades in favor of test scores and book learning. Their school lunches are processed foods high in sugar. They rarely move during the day and they are fed poor quality processed products.

Instead of allowing them to do what their young bodies and minds are made for we force them to be still. When they want to move or express themselves because they are repressed or oppressed for hours then ‘the powers that be’ want to medicate them because they fidget and have difficulty paying attention. The reason they can’t sit still IS because they have not moved enough. Forcing someone to remain still causes the desire and need to move. Attention will be there when the physical needs are taken care of. We can attend better once our other needs have been attended to!

They should be able to move in the classroom. More exercise, more play, more gym is needed NOT less. Let them play until tired but not exhausted and then help them learn. They would learn so much better and easier. You would see most ‘learning disabilities’ vanish. NO one, unless severely neurologically impaired, has learning disabilities. Learning is what we do naturally. Kids and adults need to spend more time out in the world and less time in boxed rooms sitting.

Much of our learning comes from physical moving. It is the wiring of the brain and body. Contralateral movements or those which cross over the midline of the body are necessary. Crawling and moving the body as we did was very important for brain development. In this particular case less is NOT more. We need more movement for our bodies and brains to be adequately stimulated and healthy. It isn’t just about the cardio-vascular effects it is about the overall effects on the human. We can’t restrict our minds, our vision, our bodies, we can’t limit everything about what it is to be human, to be young, and still expect to have good and healthy results. SOMETIMES natural is better. Sometimes more is better. Just as sometime it is not.

Wisdom means knowing and implementing the best choices that have the most positive effects.

Nature overflows with an alive positive energy. Get out outdoors and connect with this positive energy. It radiates from the earth, it comes from the sky and from every living thing. There is great commotion in nature and a great stillness. Stop and listen. Stop and take a moment to enjoy it. To imbibe it. To reconnect with it. You will feel better, you will think better. You will relax, let go, and allow more. You will feel more peaceful and at one. It is a healthy and positive practice.

If it is cold outside, bundle up and go for a walk. You can do this. If it is warm enough, where you are, walk barefoot whenever you can. Feel the soil, the earth. Lie down and feel the warmth of the ground. Reconnect with the earth. Listen to the sound of the wind as it moves through the leaves or over the grasses. It is simple. Get back in touch with nature. Sit by a stream and let go. Take a hike. Roll down a hill. Skip. Relax, refresh, walk, witness, observe, smell, listen. Get some sun! It actually IS good for you to get some sun. Do this often. The better you feel the better you are able to feel. Become alive again!” Rex Sikes

Make today special. Do something wonderful for yourself and another person!

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Affirmations, Beliefs, Gratitude, Happiness, Joy, Law Of Attraction, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development, Positive Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Positive Thoughts, Success, Unlimited Power, Visualization

Stop Self Sabotage And Succeed!

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what consumes your mind controls your life

“We think in pictures. We talk to ourselves. We speak silently in our minds and out loud. Our ‘self talk’ is that continuous flow or stream of thoughts that run through our head moment to moment.  For most people it seems to be a running commentary all during our waking hours.

You can’t have a negative stream of thoughts going through your brain and  feel marvelous. It just doesn’t work that way. You can’t have limiting self talk and be expansive and powerful. You can’t be saying crappy things to yourself and feel on top of the world. It won’t, it doesn’t happen. Our thoughts to our self, our self talk, what we say directly impacts how we feel AND how we feel results in what we think and say to ourselves.

In order to be happier and healthier our self talk should be happy and healthy.  This is why many researchers suggest that happiness is directly tied to what we say to ourselves and how we say it. Our happiness is tied to what we see in our minds eye. If we make disappointing or negative or horrible mental images we can’t expect to feel fabulous and be successful.

To be happier and healthier we have to manage what we think and picture and say to ourselves in our head. Thoughts precede feelings and actions. Some people erroneously think when they succeed they will feel successful. The truth is people who feel successful succeed. ‘Our attitude determines our altitude!’

While you may get to the ‘no mind’ or suspension of thoughts through meditation most people can’t just shut off their thoughts. No worries, you don’t have to. What you CAN do is replace less than glorious thoughts with other more positive thoughts. Asking well formed thoughtful positive questions that directs your mind in positive ways is a powerful means of accomplishing this.

what you allow is what will continue

If you watch a scary TV show and get so scared you turn it off what happens? You end up sitting up and thinking about it. So don’t turn it off. The BEST thing to do is switch the channel and watch something else that you enjoy. Watch something that distracts you. Watch other programs that keep you focused on what makes you laugh or feel delightful. Stay on that until you forget about the other program.

It works the same way with our mind. It is easier to channel the energy and direct it into other useful thoughts than to cease thinking them. Direct the flow of energy. Direct it into what you prefer instead. This is art of ‘mental aikido’ (the art of utilizing the energy offered). What you resist persists. Instead, turn resistance into assistance by directing your thinking in other ways. It is easier to divert the stream than to dam it up.

I have spoken and written on the power of questions through the years. Some of which are right here in the pages of this blog for you to go back and review. The positive directed use of questions is absolutely transformative! Learn the art of focusing your mind by asking questions.

Questions direct the mind. How amazed will you be to discover yourself asking many wonderful, powerful, positive questions that direct your mind easily and quickly into delightful thoughts and feelings once you learn how? Obviously, you can’t know until you try.

Affirmations are fantastic when you find ones that you readily believe and repeat them with great energy and enthusiasm. Have a blast chanting out loud, when you are alone, new positive thoughts. Look in the mirror and smile as you say these. Say them out loud vigorously whenever you can.

correct your mind the rest will fall into place

When you begin to think less than gloriously and you catch yourself replace the old thought with the new positive assertion. Steer your mind in positive ways. TAKE CHARGE! One positive thought leads to other positive thoughts in the same way negative thoughts do. Birds of a feather flock together. SO you can change your thinking for the better when you take control. Just do it and it will become a habit.

What you think about you become. You can’t expect to think negatively and live positively. Fill your mind daily with positive, inspiring, motivational material. Read at least a page or two from great books and listen to audios. Begin and end the day with inspiration and gratitude!

Each day make sure you have enough nutritious mental health food to keep you going and make you strong. The goal is to feel good. When you feel wonderful there is no stopping you. Take a walk, get some exercise, a massage. Skip, sing, hum, watch funny movies, relax, let go but do whatever healthy positive thing you can to begin feeling better. Jump start yourself.

DO these things and stop the sabotage. Defeatist thinking will never make you victorious. Transform yourself from powerless to powerful. You can do this. You can absolutely do this! Do it today!” Rex Sikes

Fill each moment of today with passion!

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Don’t Miss Out! Accelerate Your Career Success

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rise up the world is waiting for you

“You decide your fate in life because it is totally in your hands. How far you go is completely up to you and within your power. If you are incredible to be around and you genuinely put others first, and you seek to help solve problems, find solutions, and celebrate everything YOU can ultimately write your own ticket.

Continued From  How To Accelerate Your Career Success.

It is true you have to pursue you dreams, remain dedicated and consistently keep moving forward to accomplish your goals. How you do that and who you get to surround you is important. People either want to see you go far and help you or they will be happy to see you fail. Some might even take pleasure in helping to make that happen.

Even though it is your personal path to get ahead it is always about the other people you come into contact with. You  attract others most like you. Birds of a feather flock together. SO celebrate people, be supportive, encouraging, and an inspiration. Always talk nicely about everyone. Don’t whine complain, blame, badmouth or gossip.

Go out of your way to inspire, motivate, and help others. When you give freely to others, without conditions, you’ll be recognized as a genuine, kind and caring person. You will move forward faster.

i am starting to attract the people around me

People like people who actually like people! People tend to say yes to the people they like. It is easy to say no to someone you do not care about. Perhaps, it’s even satisfying to say no to someone you don’t like. When you are nice to people first they feel more inclined to be nice towards you. When you help others, others tend to want to help you. It just works that way. People will respond to  help you move ahead!

It is called the Law Of Reciprocity and it works like this. You go out for the evening and someone buys your dinner. What do you say and do? You say, ‘next time I buy’. Why?  Because you feel like you ought to. Someone did you a kindness and you want to do one back. You feel obligated. You feel you owe them in return. You want to ‘do the right thing’ and be nice. You don’t want to leave it uneven.You want to even up the score.

It works the other way too. Someone calls you a nasty name or gives you the finger. What do you feel like doing? Probably the same, or even worse. We feel compelled to even the score.

Since these laws are always working anyway make the Golden Rule and the Law Of Reciprocity work for you. They never cease to be in operation! So whether you are at home, at play or on the job learn how to utilize them so you and everyone else benefits.

Be grateful. Be thankful for everything big and small. People can tell when a person lives with gratitude and appreciation. Express your gratitude, send a note, say thanks often. Breaks come much quicker when we are optimistic, positive, and appreciative because we are more desirable to be around.

be the type of person you want to meet

Consider these next examples:  Movie Stars are movie stars because people want to know them. They are sought after and people want to be around them. People even want to be them! They have ‘something’ that makes them different from everyone else. People are excited when a celebrity is gracious, down to earth, and a real genuine person! They are ecstatic if the celebrity takes an interest in them asks them questions and really listens. They feel touched by greatness. It is a moment they may always remember. You have the opportunity to make yourself memorable!

You have an important fun trip planned. You are going to be camping in the wilderness. (Even if you hate camping imagine this). WHO do you invite along? What kind of people would you take with you if you wanted a wonderful time?  What qualities in the are important? What kind person would you not want to be there.

I’m not asking you  which friends can pitch a tent or drink the most around a campfire while telling  great stories. I am asking you to consider whether you’d want a cooperative, good natured, giving person to accompany you, the kind of person I’ve been describing in these posts, or someone in it just for themselves?

When people hire this is the kind of consideration they have? Who do they want around for a long time? If it is between you and someone else why should they pick you?

Accept 100% responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, words and actions and you can make great things happen. You will never be able to move ahead easily if you put the responsibility on or blame others for your success or failures. Whatever is going to happen will be up to you. It will be due to the kind of person you are or are not!

If you want to be successful faster and move forward more easily then transform yourself into the kind of person other people want to be around and see succeed. It is all up to you!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

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How To Accelerate Your Career Success!

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take step in right direction

“YOU succeed much faster when people like who you are and what you are. Everything I have shared, in my recent posts, about the Golden Rule, the Platinum Rule and acting in loving ways towards a partner, your family, associates and even strangers is applicable to your career and your job success. Behave in loving ways and you can ignite your career track beyond belief!

When you fist behave lovingly toward others AND yourself, when you hold others and yourself in the highest esteem, you are transforming yourself and your relationships in positive ways. Others will notice and you will stand out in the crowd. Your energy will be uplifting, dynamic, confident and kind. You will set your self apart from all the rest who just go about life and their career with only themselves in mind.

People will be attracted to you because you are operating from higher positive intentions. You are filling your mind and your heart, your feelings, your words and your actions with positivity. When you wish the very best for others, and do the best to help them feel loved, accepted, valued, and supported, without seeking to get anything back, you ultimately gain more in return than you can ever imagine!

In your career, and in all business, when you go the extra mile, when you help your boss or others get ahead without being asked to and without expecting payment you demonstrate that you are a person of integrity and high-value. You display initiative when you help others meet their needs. If you can save them time, money or energy you will be sought after. If you will do what most others refuse to do you can most likely write your own ticket.

When you are so filled with the joy of living and loving, when your thoughts and feelings and actions are congruent and aligned with these high positive intentions you are a joy to be around. You are someone people want to associate with and you become indispensable to others. When you put others first you make yourself a genuine team player. You make yourself invaluable.

The issue with so many pursuing careers is that they only see others as stepping stones for getting where they want to get. These types tend to be aggressive and use people.  They complain and whine about the circumstances or actions of others. They are envious when other people get the job or move forward advancing their careers. This type of person is more than competitive, they think and speak and act only with regard to themselves. They are easily identifiable and if not easily avoidable many will do their best not to have to interact, be around, or work with them.

action moments

You have to know that no one ever, EVER, makes it on one’s own. It is a network of co-operating resources that enable people to do well in the world. Would you believe someone who claimed, ‘Hey I go out and get the raw materials, I mine them. I transport them in my own vehicle to bring them back. I manufacture them all alone and I promote and market them without any assistance from anyone. Then I sell them all by myself off my own website. NO one has ever helped me.’ Perhaps, that is true, but the people who purchased your product are the ones who help make you successful!

Without these people you wouldn’t have any money. So even in the rarest of all circumstances, as in this example, there are others involved who are responsible for this person’s success.  There are other ways people contributed to the process indirectly. Someone made the vehicle and made gasoline available. Someone manufactured  the tools the computers and the marketing means. Others are involved whether they are given recognition or not.

Alright, so that was an extreme example of someone determined to claim no one ever helped them. For most of us many people help us all along the way. Some do it freely and others charge for their services. The point is we are interconnected. We don’t actually live in complete isolation. We depend on others and others depend on us. This is why networking is so important. Ultimately, we  all help each other.

If you really want to get ahead apply the Golden Rule.  Add value to others first. Hold everyone in the highest possible regard.  Go out of your way to be positive and nice and behave in loving and kind (appropriate) ways and you will endear others to you. Birds of a feather flock together so you will discover other incredible people who will support and encourage you too.

Give first without asking in return and you will get back because people want to return kindnesses. Be helpful and respectful, don’t be a pest. Be positive, don’t complain or blame others. Don’t gossip.

success requires mindset

Celebrate joyously when others succeed and you will do much to increase the likelihood of your own success. There are people watching you on your career path and they can tell when you are genuinely interested in others. People can tell when someone is only in it for themselves.

Consider yourself as a beacon, a  walking billboard. You advertise exactly who you are and what your values are the moment you enter a room or open your mouth. People can see you coming a mile away and they are either deliriously happy when you arrive or they want to flee.

Be the kind of person other people really want to be around and you will go far. Smile, be happy and enthusiastic.

When you go for an interview or an audition remember your energy either fills the room with powerful friendly presence or it sucks the energy from the room. Those you are meeting can immediately tell whether you are a life giver or a vampire. If you want a chance at a call back or to book the job or get the position people must feel that you are someone they want to be around and spend time with.

Yes, it is important to be talented. You should be qualified and right for the part, or the position.  Still, who you are matters so much more than what you can do. If you want the chance, if you want  the opportunity for yourself to get ahead and skyrocket your career be the best person you can be AND be the best in your work. You will get noticed, you’ll be remembered, and get called. More in the next post.” Rex Sikes

Have fun today! Enjoy yourself!

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Loving Means Recognizing What You Are Doing When You Are Doing It

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you are a living magnet

In my recent post I mentioned that ‘loving’ behaviors are quantifiable while the generalization ‘love’ is not. You can tell when someone is behaving in a loving way towards you or towards someone else. It is readily apparent. You can encourage the loving behaviors by telling the other person what you enjoy and by responding back in loving ways. You can discourage or extinguish less than loving behaviors by word and deed as well. You can begin to get more of what you want and enjoy how you like to be treated when you communicate in loving ways.

You can be more loving across the board.  Certainly, you can be so  in a romantic way with your partner but you can also treat family members in more loving ways. You can act more loving towards friends and co-workers. Caregivers can provide loving care to the recipients, all of is can be more loving towards people who are hungry, homeless and have special needs. It is not only in the context of intimate relationships. We are not discussing  ‘LOVE’ but describing loving behaviors.

It is very important to recognize when you are and aren’t behaving in loving ways toward others. You can tell immediately whether what you are thinking, saying and doing is having a positive affect and getting a positive response or not. You have a metaphorical yardstick to determine whether your behaviors are moving you closer or further away from helping the other person feel more loved and accepted. At any moment you are either moving toward being loving or away from being loving. It is simple to notice.

Once you notice whether or not you are doing what you intend to you can adjust accordingly. IF you are open to feedback and your intention is to be more loving you can easily change what you are thinking, saying and doing  to love, nurture, accept and support the other person.

Instead of attempting to justify any behavior by saying or thinking ‘its because I love you’ you can question yourself and decide if you words and actions are actual displays of loving, accepting, nurturing and supportive behavior. You have a real means of deciding.  You can tell if what you are doing is ACTUALLY loving or not. This is practical. Then there is no deceiving oneself.

what u put out u attract

Either you are or you aren’t. If you are honest with yourself you know when you are being loving or if what you are doing is agitating or hurting the other person? You can look, see, hear and even feel whether the other person is receptive or not. There is evidence.

Pay attention and you will discover when you are off base and when you are genuinely behaving kindly and in loving ways.  Since you have a way to notice, (its in the other person’s response to you) you have a way to change when you need to or continue to do more of the same.

You can ask the other person what loving behaviors they enjoy and how they prefer to be treated. You can share your preferences with them as well. It is desirable to communicate your wants and needs in relationships with others. Parent to child, lover to lover, friend to friend etc. Loving is something one does and they way one does it. ‘LOVE’ is a philosophical construct.

For example, ‘I want more love’ tells us precisely what? On the other hand, ‘I want to be treated in loving ways more often. Here is how and when’, communicates what one can do to help this person feel more ‘love’. If you are willing you can respond to this person by treating them as they ask to be treated. It is a two way street, of course.

I return to the Golden Rule. If you enjoy being treated nicely you can use that to assume the other person does too. Then treat them nicely. The Golden Rules states ‘treat others as you prefer to be treated’. This sets a guideline for us. It makes us aware of treating others as well or better than you yourself want to be treated. If we don’t like something we can assume others may not either so don’t treat them that way.

HERE is where the Platinum Rule comes into play. The Platinum Rules states, ‘treat people as they prefer to be treated’. This means some of the specifics may differ. They may not enjoy the same things you do.

For example, if one of the ways your partner could demonstrate being more loving towards you means ‘taking you out to a movie of your choice’ your partner’s way of feeling being loved might be ‘to have you spend time sharing hopes and dreams, to sit and talk more often’. Not everyone likes the same things. You both can provide each other with what is wanted to feel more loved. You can give the other person what the person wants if you are willing.

To adhere to the Platinum Rule you find out what is important to the other person. You discover what the other person likes, what the other prefers and hopes and wants to include. Then you deliver that as best you are able. You can and should do this unselfishly with no expectation of return. That is the Golden Rule in operation.

think happy thoughts good things will happen

If they feel ‘more loved spending a quiet evening at home with you’ and ‘you feel more loved going out together and having wild experiences’ then you negotiate times when you can each do for the other what the other enjoys doing. This is ideal. To have great communication and mutually desire to meet each others needs.

You will be behaving in more loving ways when you make a ‘special quiet at home evening for your partner’ and your partner will be nurturing you and more loving towards you in scheduling a ‘wild time of going out together’. You both help each other feel more important and validate the ways in which you both feel loved when you take into account how the other person feels loved by you. You increase your ‘love’ when you act in loving ways towards and with each other.

When you do for another, help another, give to another, make another feel special you are helping yourself too. When you make others feel loved, accepted, important and supported without expecting any return you are loving unconditionally. When you simple add more loving into your life you are benefiting yourself while you benefit others.

Consider all the people in your life, surrounding you, whom you can behave more lovingly towards. Your parents, children, partner, boss, employees, co-workers, associates, friends, strangers you meet day to day in a variety of places, people with needs, and all others. How can you add to their enjoyment of each day? When you become more loving toward yourself and extend it toward others all of your life becomes much more remarkable and positive.

When you uplift others you uplift yourself. You can more intimately connect with those near and dear to you AND you can also find ways nurture and support friends, associates and strangers.

When your goal is to UPLIFT everyone and think the highest of all people, everyone benefits. You will benefit in countless untold ways and the others will too. You help make your living circumstances and those of the people around you so much nicer. Be the catalyst for positive change!

I really don’t want to point this out because the focus is not in what is returned but in what is given freely, but Giver’s get. They really do! So give and give freely and enjoy the blessings you receive while making others feel better and more loved. Enjoy” Rex Sikes

Today, find many reasons to enjoy yourself and others! Be thankful!

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People Have Real Needs! How To Love!

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let ur positive energy shift room vibrations

“What do you suppose everyone on the planet wants? I am not sure but if I had to guess here are a few things they might wish they had; love; acceptance; happiness; power; health; wealth; well-being; family; home; productive work; free time; enjoyment… I am sure the list of wants is endless.

What do you suppose the highest want might be? I would suspect love; happiness; acceptance. Perhaps, I am not correct, or perhaps there are others but it seems to me most people want to have some purpose in life. They want to feel connected and valuable. They want to relate and enjoy life to the fullest. They want to share it with people who are important to them. They want to give and receive.

Some people are happy with or without a house, a car, a TV, or many of our basic ‘necessities’. Many can get along without things. Some may get by without a job or work, but fewer get by without other people to live life with. We all find at least one other to share our life with. Homeless people congregate because we are social creatures and even in the fiercest competition we find acts of generosity and kindness, of love and acceptance.

Frankly, I think everything anyone does is a request for love. It may not be voiced or even consciously recognized by each of us but I do think that everyone wants it and no one wants to live life without it.

It seems to me, if this is the case, that we might seek to be more loving as well as loved. Love is a nebulous concept. It is a generalization of thought and our language.  So is the notion ‘everyone wants love’. This may be true but I don’t know what that means. I don’t know what love means?

People love their family, friends, their job, their car, their pets, their homes, hamburgers, jewelry; people love many things. We still aren’t sure what they mean by love because it may mean many things to many people. So I say seek not love. Don’t ask for love or have a goal to love or be loved.

Instead seek to be loving.  Seek to have people treat you in loving ways.

bless each day w gratefulness

 

Love is not quantifiable or definable in a working definition way, but loving can be. You can ACTUALLY tell when someone is acting in a loving way towards you, or another, and when they are not. You can say, ‘yes, that is it! that is what I mean.’ ‘By their fruits we shall know them’, is a phrase that comes to mind. Loving acts are recognizable!

When someone truly loves another their thoughts and their feelings and their behaviors are loving. You can tell when they perform loving behaviors and when the behaviors they perform are not loving.

People can mistreat another and say, ‘but I love you! I did it because I love you’ but that is not equal to acting in loving ways. ‘Love’ can be used to justify a host of un-loving behaviors.

So don’t strive to love strive to be more loving. Strive to be more kind, nicer, to act in ways that benefit the other person whom you ‘love’. When you think and behave as I am describing it also allows you and the other to teach each other how to be more loving. A person can say, ‘when you do that I feel loved’, ‘or ‘I really enjoy it when you do this’. ‘I feel appreciated, special, loved, accepted when…’ It can open up the lines of reciprocal communication to help people draw closer.

There is another aspect to this I want to mention before I close. Since most people seek ‘love’, ‘acceptance’, ‘happiness’ perhaps we can be more loving, accepting and joyful. Perhaps, we can become more cheerful givers and help others when in times of need.

If you want to feel better and feel better about yourself help another person when they have needs. Some people need loving treatment, some need career assistance, some need help picking up socks around the house, some need food, water and shelter. Some need to feel valued when they have no work and are down on their luck.

You can do any little thing in loving ways and be of great benefit to another person, family member, friend or stranger.

when you arise think of the privilege

There seems to have arisen in the US a culture of hate and intolerance. This vocal group blames and wants to cut people off from assistance because they feel there are people who are freeloaders. While there may be some freeloaders, that may just be a fact of life, I personally doubt there are very many people who want something for nothing. More people want love and acceptance and happiness than the haters seem to imply. They seem to scream that there is a culture of ‘entitlement’ that needs to be stopped.

If you want to stop this you don’t do it with whips and chains and taking food from their babies mouths. You do it through loving. You do it from understanding and accepting. You help others with helpful behaviors. If you want someone to be more productive lift the person up don’t insult them and push them further down.

The Golden Rule, which the more I come to understand it, IS the most incredible Rule we could ever hope to have. It is a rule of GO FIRST. Go first in thought and in deed. Hold the other person in the highest esteem, the highest regard, expect the best and people tend to rise to the level of what is expected of them. Give first of your thoughts, your feelings, your energy, your time, your resources and while helping others you actually help yourself.

It is more than the simple notion of karma and what goes around comes around. Or you better watch out because YOU will get back what you put out.

While that may be the case it is truly more the question of ‘what do you want to create?’

What kind of world do you want to have? Do your want it filled with more hating or more loving? If you want the latter you and I need to begin right there by being more loving in all we do with everyone we are around.

sometimes smallest step is biggest step

It begins with us not with the other person. Being loving doesn’t include keeping score, having a one up one down power mentality. Loving means doing things that are loving and accepting for others; family, friends and strangers.  It also includes being more loving and accepting of ourselves.

I believe if each of us did nothing more than actually practiced the Golden Rule, wholeheartedly, not only would our own lives transform in absolutely positive incredible ways but then so would our world.

There will be some that will say, ‘well that is all fine and well but not everyone will do it’ and I say. ‘SO WHAT?’ Transformation doesn’t begin over there it begins right here in our own hearts and minds and beings. Be less concerned with what others do and absolutely concerned with what you do. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions and do not evangelically try to make others conform.

Live lovingly, treat others in loving ways and watch your world positively evolve! Treat yourself in loving ways and everything will transform. Don’t try to change others and require them to be anything other than completely who they are good or bad, instead go first and be loving and accepting. Lift them up and they will get up.

If you can help someone in their time of need, if you can support someone in their pursuits, their goals and passions, if you can be there in loving ways with a kind word or deed you are helping to make the world a better place. So pay it forward and enjoy how beautiful your life and all of life becomes!” Rex Sikes

Today, live, love, laugh and celebrate!

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How To Eliminate Unwanted Negative Habits That Hold You Back

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we create what we believe

“It doesn’t matter what we face in our everyday lives. Whether our lives are okay or downright terrible we will gain great benefit and overall well-being when we begin to embrace a lifestyle filled with positive thinking and with positive habits. Since everything begins with thought we begin there. We make the decision to deliberately manage our thinking. We train our mind to see the good in everything. We make this a habit by repetition. I have shared many ways to do this in previous posts. The point is to begin. When you begin everything that can follow becomes possible. When you don’t start anew everything remains the same. It is up to you which kind of life you want to have.

The key to changing negative habits into positive ones is to replace them. If you have not been thinking positively much of your lifetime you begin easily. Choose an affirmation you can repeat throughout the day. Repeat it silently to yourself when around others but energetically and with enthusiasm shout it out repeatedly when alone. Positive added energy brings faster results. Keep doing this daily. You can add other positive affirmations that make you feel good too.

Look for the good and new in each moment, person, event and circumstances. Learn the art of reframing by focusing on the positive aspects and benefits that may reside in each (even hidden in each). What else could be possible besides the obvious less than glorious circumstance? What positive benefit may be hidden? What else could this mean that may be positive?

Train your mind to look for and find the silver lining in each dark cloud. Repeat this frequently and you will begin to develop the habit of seeing situations and people more positively. When you can do this you life does begin to qualitatively change for the better. When YOU train your mind you are deliberately taking control of your thoughts, your feelings and responses to outer circumstances. This is a powerful way to live and it may seem a bit foreign at first, it may even seem difficult. IT isn’t once you get the hang of it but you have to stay with it deliberately in order to discover the awesome benefits.

There are many different ways you can live more positively and powerfully.  You can practice affirmations, express gratitude for everything in your life, both the good and not so good (look for the silver lining). Read this blog, keep inspirational materials around you. These include inspiring quotes, photos, music, religious or otherwise. Read at least a page daily from motivational uplifting books. Listen to positive audios, watch positive videos. Help someone who has a need. Give. Walk more, sing, hum, exercise, get a massage, meditate, take time to relax and reflect positively on your day. Gift yourself from time to time. Get out in nature where you may feel inspired. Let go, unwind, enjoy life!

what you are will show - start now

The most important aspect to changing your life is to fill your time with more positive moments than negative. This begins with your thoughts and feelings. What are positive moments but moments when you think and feel wonderful. When you are feeling good! You may be amused, happy, blissful the point is you are feeling great! Whether it is true or not classify emotions into two categories Good and Not Good or bad. You know you don’t want to feel bad and you know all the different emotional labels for not feeling good. SO make it a point to manage your feelings. Think the thoughts and do those things that help you feel the best without harming or affecting others in negative way. This is all about you.

Rule of thumb you are either feeling good or not good. THE GOAL is to feel good. So whenever you are not feeling good do something, think better thoughts, walk, exercise, sing, hum, read, listen, do something healthy and positive to help yourself feel even just a little bit better. Every time you catch yourself not feeling good and you make yourself feel better you are training yourself, your neurology to move from feeling less than glorious to glorious.You don’t have to make a giant leap from depressed to bliss you just have to make yourself feel a little bit better. Once you feel a little bit better do something to feel a bit better again.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Once you being it is each step thereafter that gets you closer to your goal. Incrementally you will work yourself toward feeling good. When you keep doing this, anytime you become aware of not feeling good, you are building an incredible ability to move into good feelings and you are building a powerful reliable habit. Good or bad it is your choice. If it isn’t what you want YOU change it.

In order to make it a lifestyle filled with positive habits you must keep doing these. Correct repetition brings about reliable results. So stick with it. Have fun and enjoy the process. Take it lightly and little bit by little bit you will notice things begin to shift. Be patient and enjoy the process. It will one day seem remarkable that you did not always already do these things and doing each will bring you so much pleasure and joy. SO hang in there and make your life incredible. You can be because you are able to.” Rex Sikes

Decide to enjoy today to the utmost!

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