Category Archives: Love

If You Aren’t Choosing Your Losing!

what consumes your mind controls your life

I saw a comment by someone on social media yesterday stating  ‘thoughts don’t do anything’. My thought for that person was, I hope it is true for him simply because he believes it. Science, philosophies, religious and everyday experience proves otherwise. Eons of investigation and commentary suggest that our thoughts have more power than most people realize. In fact, most people seem to miss this point altogether and never come to enjoy the incredible benefits of better thinking.

For many people life is merely okay. It is a mix of good and not so good, sometimes bad. For a lot of people it is a struggle. The reason seems to be that only a few people truly understand the power of thinking well. I have pointed out again and again that we become what we think about. Not my original idea at all, I co-opted it from Earl Nightengale but when I adopted that statement as an operating principle for my life everything began to change for the better.

We need to be mindful of our thoughts because our thoughts do have much more power than we realize. The reason people get so many mixed results, or merely an okay life experience is because instead of managing their thoughts their thoughts manage them.

Like a cork bobbing on the water drifts wherever the current takes it most people react to life situations similarly. For them, life is whatever comes along. When bad things happen or might happen they think about what they don’t like and don’t want. They obsess about what is wrong instead of obsessing about what is right.

thoughts design my energy

So if it is accurate that you get or become what you predominantly think about or hold in your head then mixed results come from not having any predominant thought. Poor results come from focusing on what is wrong, what they don’t have or what bad event is going to possibly occur in the future.

When life is a problem or less than you hope it to be, then the glass is either half filled with whatever, or it is certainly more filled with negative thinking than with positive thinking. It is common sense frankly! If you want a most wonderful life then the majority of your experience, your thoughts, feelings and actions must be wonderful. The bulk of your time must be spent thinking about what is fabulous, what you are grateful for, what you can accomplish and so on. The majority of your thinking must be positive!

If you obsessively fear that your relationship is falling apart you are increasing the likelihood that it will.  Why? because you are not focused on the reasons you are together. You are not spending your time or your thoughts loving and enjoying each other. You are focused on what is wrong and what will go wrong in the future. You aren’t focused on the ties that bind you.

If you are consumed with the notion that you might get fired or lose your job you are increasing the likelihood of getting fired. The more energy you give the problem the more likely you continue or advance the problem. You do not diminish it by obsessively thinking about it.

life is not hapening to you life is responding

If you are thinking negative thoughts about anything the more energy you put into it the more you get the results you fear. This is true about your love and family life, your career and job, your relations with friends and strangers, your health, wealth and well-being. NO one ever gets healthy thinking how sick they are.

It has been said that, “Worry is negative goal setting” and I think that is a profound statement. We bring about whatever we think about! Like attracts like, birds of a feather flock together. What we focus on we become! Why plan for disaster? Stop it! Plan to make it better!

People who experience anxiety, anger issues, and depression have learned to put their mind in certain directions more than in another direction. It isn’t their fault but they have learned how to do this for whatever reasons. Most all of us have learned to do this to varying degrees. All of us can learn to put our minds in more productive directions using the approaches, I’ve been describing all along, in this blog.

Your thoughts and feelings create your life. They create your reality. Energy begets energy just as priming the pump brings the well water. What begins as a trickle can become a mighty flow. This is true about negative thinking and it is true about positive thinking. Choose which flow you want.

your thoughts become words

Why are so many people negative?  Who knows for certain? It may be that we are raised in an environment where we grow up comparing ourselves to others. Media and messages constantly bombard us with the notion that we are incomplete unless we have a certain product, a certain knowledge, a certain something. We are told what to think, do and say in order to survive. News is always negative because that is what sells. I’m sure there is a boat load of reasons.

So why are so many people negative? I don’t know for sure but I am sure about this; more people need to begin to take responsibility for their own thinking. More people need to understand that change is possible and up to them! People can improve their thinking and their lives incredibly! It is absolutely doable! Anyone can do it! You can!

Others can help.  This blog, the books and audios, workshops and seminars, the sciences, philosophies and religions can all assist and point to the positive path. All of these can inspire and motivate. Ultimately, if YOU want change for the future YOU have to change what YOU are doing currently.

YOU have to take charge of your thinking! No one can do it for you. Although, hanging out with positive people can be a great help as you move forward. Spending time with powerfully positive encouraging people is a great thing to do. Find them and spend time with them!

your only limits

Your thoughts shape and create your reality over time. Like attracts like. The more you worry about something, the more you begin to attract exactly the energy you are worried about! The more you regret, fear, hate, and are angry about things the more you attract the same.  What you hold in your head you will hold in your hand. What you think about you bring about!

Do you want to create a happy life? Would you like things to get better and be better? Would you like more joy, self-love, peace, financial freedom, better health, loving relationships, a great home and home-life, things you have always wanted? Do you want to travel, learn some new skill, have an incredible career, meet more people? You can have all these and more! You can create and attract what you want and need BUT you have to do it!! YOU DO!

If you want to create a happier experience then utilize the same principle and begin to think thoughts of  love, health, wealth, abundance, peace, joy, and happiness. Think the best about yourself, others, and your circumstances. FInd the hidden gold and opportunity in all challenges. Think solutions and what you can do. Focus on what you want NOT on what you don’t want.

WHEN you do this consistently you will begin getting good results, Instead of ending up with exactly what you don’t want you begin to get what you DO want! It is all up to you and what you do daily.

what we project we perceive

You have the power  to create a life of negativity, lack and worry, if you continue to think and obsess about negative events and people. You also have the power and the ability and all the tools needed to make your life experience something truly wonderful.

While, it sounds trite to say it the fact of the matter is your life will become exactly what you think it will be. You will become what you predominantly think about most during the day. What you think about you bring about.

You CAN fill your life with love, gratitude, appreciation, respect, integrity, joy, peace, blessings, wealth, health, and incredible well-being by staying focused on all the wonderful good things! Manage your thoughts! You have a choice. Choose wisely!” Rex Sikes

Do something amazing for yourself and others today!

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Love Changes Everything!

you can always do more than you think

“No one wants to go without it. Everyone wants to feel loved. There have probably been times in your life when you wished someone would call you up and say something nice. You hoped for someone to share an encouraging, kind word with you. Perhaps, you longed for something that simple or just a hug when it was most needed.

When you take a moment for someone else you are helping that person to feel more significant, to feel validated and to feel cared for, maybe even, loved. We all want to feel these feelings.  We want to feel important. All of us can help each other to feel better. You and I can.

Take a second or two during your day to say hello, to smile, to acknowledge another person when you are passing by. See if you can’t put a smile on their lips. Listen, respond, validate. Be kind, be thoughtful, be gentle.

When you lift another person up emotionally; when you inspire them; when you can help someone reach a goal or  support them in their passion do so. Do not hesitate. Give and give freely. Providing a moment of caring can make all the difference to someone in need.

what u put out u attract

Not only will you help someone else to feel better but you will help yourself too. If you’d like to fill your life to overflowing with everything wonderful give first. When you give first, without expecting anything in return,  you change yourself in many positive ways. When you pay it forward you get it back many times over, even if it never comes from anyone else. You feel the feelings because you did something generous and wonderful. You transform yourself!

This time of the year can be particularly difficult for many people. Holidays are meant to be happy but they are not for everyone. Whether we are in the season or not being kind, loving and supportive is something we can be and do every day of the year.

Discover what you can do today! Small or large create a positive ripple of loving and kind energy through all of those around you. Spread thoughtful, loving energy to family, friends and strangers. Make your day and theirs a little easier and nicer!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy, celebrate and delight. Life is grand!

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Think About What You Think About

we are our choices

“At any given moment either you think positive or negative. Either you build or you destroy. Either you feel good or you feel bad. Either you are happy or you are not. Either you are a victor or a victim. Positive thinking is not so much about changing the world around you as it is how you respond to the changing world around you.

If you are not thinking and responding positively, powerfully, productively how are you thinking and responding? Either you are moving forward or not. Either you are making things happen or not. Either you are in charge or you are not. What you think and feel and say and do make all the difference. What are you thinking, feeling, saying and doing that makes life better for yourself? Either you are manifesting good things or you are not.

We become what we think about most through out each day. Our repetitive thoughts, habits and patterns define us. Either you are making happen what you want to happen or you are not. Either you decide to take control or you do not. Either you are planning or you are not. Either you are working your plans or you are not. Either you find a way or you find an excuse. Either you are doing it or you are not.

Think about what you think about. Think about what you think about yourself, others, events, circumstances and the world around you. Either you enjoy or you don’t. Either you love or you don’t. Either you are thankful or you are not. Either you accept or you don’t. Either you believe or you don’t. Either you give your you don’t. Either you create or you don’t. Either you ask or you don’t. Either you allow or you don’t. Either you receive or you don’t.

What are you thinking about most throughout each day. What are your saying to yourself? What are you picturing in your minds eye? What are you feeling like most of the time? If you aren’t in control who is? If you don’t control it who will? if you don’t do it now when will you? Either you will or you won’t.

What are you thinking about most of the time? What are you becoming?” Rex Sikes

Have a delightful day!

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Ask Yourself Whose Life Can You Touch And Bless Today? Happy Thanksgiving!


“It is Thanksgiving celebrate! There is so much to be thankful for. All one has to do is look around, and notice, as it has been said, ‘any day you are above ground is a good day’.

Spend the day with the people who are important to you if you are able too. Share time and make memorable moments. Spend some time truly giving thanks for everything you can. Look for the little things we take for granted and appreciate them.

So many, have so little, we are lucky with whatever we have in terms of our home, health, wealth, our well-being. Remember family, friends, your support network, your work, passions, and play. Celebrate and delight in everything. Give thanks!

Our world becomes richer when we recognize what we have created, made happen and lucked into!

Every moment of the day you are either creating positive energy or negative energy. The more you focus on creating positive thoughts, appreciation, loving kind thoughts, feelings, words and actions the more you get back. The longer you spend time savoring these the more enjoyable every moment becomes.

that i do today imporves ur tomorrows

Today, reach out and make someone else feel special, feel loved and appreciated. Say a kind word, smile, lend them a hand. Give someone a call, extend an invitation, give someone a hug. Find someone lonely or alone and give of your time.

Holidays are difficult for many people and if you can help another person feel better, feel welcome, feel valued and important not only do you do something wonderful for that person but you do something wonderful for yourself.

Let your heart be soft, open and receptive. Send out your loving energy for no reason at all other than to touch someone gently and positively. Lift someone up and you lift yourself up higher too!

As you feel more grateful, loving and positive all of your world changes for the better. Enjoy this day and let’s make thanksgiving a daily celebration instead of a yearly one.” Rex Sikes

PS – Thank YOU for following, subscribing and sharing this blog! Thanks for spreading positive energy. I appreciate you and cannot get the word out without you. THANKS! Have a marvelous holiday! Blessings and Peace!!!

Fill your moments with passion and delight!

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Loving Means Recognizing What You Are Doing When You Are Doing It

you are a living magnet

In my recent post I mentioned that ‘loving’ behaviors are quantifiable while the generalization ‘love’ is not. You can tell when someone is behaving in a loving way towards you or towards someone else. It is readily apparent. You can encourage the loving behaviors by telling the other person what you enjoy and by responding back in loving ways. You can discourage or extinguish less than loving behaviors by word and deed as well. You can begin to get more of what you want and enjoy how you like to be treated when you communicate in loving ways.

You can be more loving across the board.  Certainly, you can be so  in a romantic way with your partner but you can also treat family members in more loving ways. You can act more loving towards friends and co-workers. Caregivers can provide loving care to the recipients, all of is can be more loving towards people who are hungry, homeless and have special needs. It is not only in the context of intimate relationships. We are not discussing  ‘LOVE’ but describing loving behaviors.

It is very important to recognize when you are and aren’t behaving in loving ways toward others. You can tell immediately whether what you are thinking, saying and doing is having a positive affect and getting a positive response or not. You have a metaphorical yardstick to determine whether your behaviors are moving you closer or further away from helping the other person feel more loved and accepted. At any moment you are either moving toward being loving or away from being loving. It is simple to notice.

Once you notice whether or not you are doing what you intend to you can adjust accordingly. IF you are open to feedback and your intention is to be more loving you can easily change what you are thinking, saying and doing  to love, nurture, accept and support the other person.

Instead of attempting to justify any behavior by saying or thinking ‘its because I love you’ you can question yourself and decide if you words and actions are actual displays of loving, accepting, nurturing and supportive behavior. You have a real means of deciding.  You can tell if what you are doing is ACTUALLY loving or not. This is practical. Then there is no deceiving oneself.

what u put out u attract

Either you are or you aren’t. If you are honest with yourself you know when you are being loving or if what you are doing is agitating or hurting the other person? You can look, see, hear and even feel whether the other person is receptive or not. There is evidence.

Pay attention and you will discover when you are off base and when you are genuinely behaving kindly and in loving ways.  Since you have a way to notice, (its in the other person’s response to you) you have a way to change when you need to or continue to do more of the same.

You can ask the other person what loving behaviors they enjoy and how they prefer to be treated. You can share your preferences with them as well. It is desirable to communicate your wants and needs in relationships with others. Parent to child, lover to lover, friend to friend etc. Loving is something one does and they way one does it. ‘LOVE’ is a philosophical construct.

For example, ‘I want more love’ tells us precisely what? On the other hand, ‘I want to be treated in loving ways more often. Here is how and when’, communicates what one can do to help this person feel more ‘love’. If you are willing you can respond to this person by treating them as they ask to be treated. It is a two way street, of course.

I return to the Golden Rule. If you enjoy being treated nicely you can use that to assume the other person does too. Then treat them nicely. The Golden Rules states ‘treat others as you prefer to be treated’. This sets a guideline for us. It makes us aware of treating others as well or better than you yourself want to be treated. If we don’t like something we can assume others may not either so don’t treat them that way.

HERE is where the Platinum Rule comes into play. The Platinum Rules states, ‘treat people as they prefer to be treated’. This means some of the specifics may differ. They may not enjoy the same things you do.

For example, if one of the ways your partner could demonstrate being more loving towards you means ‘taking you out to a movie of your choice’ your partner’s way of feeling being loved might be ‘to have you spend time sharing hopes and dreams, to sit and talk more often’. Not everyone likes the same things. You both can provide each other with what is wanted to feel more loved. You can give the other person what the person wants if you are willing.

To adhere to the Platinum Rule you find out what is important to the other person. You discover what the other person likes, what the other prefers and hopes and wants to include. Then you deliver that as best you are able. You can and should do this unselfishly with no expectation of return. That is the Golden Rule in operation.

think happy thoughts good things will happen

If they feel ‘more loved spending a quiet evening at home with you’ and ‘you feel more loved going out together and having wild experiences’ then you negotiate times when you can each do for the other what the other enjoys doing. This is ideal. To have great communication and mutually desire to meet each others needs.

You will be behaving in more loving ways when you make a ‘special quiet at home evening for your partner’ and your partner will be nurturing you and more loving towards you in scheduling a ‘wild time of going out together’. You both help each other feel more important and validate the ways in which you both feel loved when you take into account how the other person feels loved by you. You increase your ‘love’ when you act in loving ways towards and with each other.

When you do for another, help another, give to another, make another feel special you are helping yourself too. When you make others feel loved, accepted, important and supported without expecting any return you are loving unconditionally. When you simple add more loving into your life you are benefiting yourself while you benefit others.

Consider all the people in your life, surrounding you, whom you can behave more lovingly towards. Your parents, children, partner, boss, employees, co-workers, associates, friends, strangers you meet day to day in a variety of places, people with needs, and all others. How can you add to their enjoyment of each day? When you become more loving toward yourself and extend it toward others all of your life becomes much more remarkable and positive.

When you uplift others you uplift yourself. You can more intimately connect with those near and dear to you AND you can also find ways nurture and support friends, associates and strangers.

When your goal is to UPLIFT everyone and think the highest of all people, everyone benefits. You will benefit in countless untold ways and the others will too. You help make your living circumstances and those of the people around you so much nicer. Be the catalyst for positive change!

I really don’t want to point this out because the focus is not in what is returned but in what is given freely, but Giver’s get. They really do! So give and give freely and enjoy the blessings you receive while making others feel better and more loved. Enjoy” Rex Sikes

Today, find many reasons to enjoy yourself and others! Be thankful!

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People Have Real Needs! How To Love!


let ur positive energy shift room vibrations

“What do you suppose everyone on the planet wants? I am not sure but if I had to guess here are a few things they might wish they had; love; acceptance; happiness; power; health; wealth; well-being; family; home; productive work; free time; enjoyment… I am sure the list of wants is endless.

What do you suppose the highest want might be? I would suspect love; happiness; acceptance. Perhaps, I am not correct, or perhaps there are others but it seems to me most people want to have some purpose in life. They want to feel connected and valuable. They want to relate and enjoy life to the fullest. They want to share it with people who are important to them. They want to give and receive.

Some people are happy with or without a house, a car, a TV, or many of our basic ‘necessities’. Many can get along without things. Some may get by without a job or work, but fewer get by without other people to live life with. We all find at least one other to share our life with. Homeless people congregate because we are social creatures and even in the fiercest competition we find acts of generosity and kindness, of love and acceptance.

Frankly, I think everything anyone does is a request for love. It may not be voiced or even consciously recognized by each of us but I do think that everyone wants it and no one wants to live life without it.

It seems to me, if this is the case, that we might seek to be more loving as well as loved. Love is a nebulous concept. It is a generalization of thought and our language.  So is the notion ‘everyone wants love’. This may be true but I don’t know what that means. I don’t know what love means?

People love their family, friends, their job, their car, their pets, their homes, hamburgers, jewelry; people love many things. We still aren’t sure what they mean by love because it may mean many things to many people. So I say seek not love. Don’t ask for love or have a goal to love or be loved.

Instead seek to be loving.  Seek to have people treat you in loving ways.

bless each day w gratefulness


Love is not quantifiable or definable in a working definition way, but loving can be. You can ACTUALLY tell when someone is acting in a loving way towards you, or another, and when they are not. You can say, ‘yes, that is it! that is what I mean.’ ‘By their fruits we shall know them’, is a phrase that comes to mind. Loving acts are recognizable!

When someone truly loves another their thoughts and their feelings and their behaviors are loving. You can tell when they perform loving behaviors and when the behaviors they perform are not loving.

People can mistreat another and say, ‘but I love you! I did it because I love you’ but that is not equal to acting in loving ways. ‘Love’ can be used to justify a host of un-loving behaviors.

So don’t strive to love strive to be more loving. Strive to be more kind, nicer, to act in ways that benefit the other person whom you ‘love’. When you think and behave as I am describing it also allows you and the other to teach each other how to be more loving. A person can say, ‘when you do that I feel loved’, ‘or ‘I really enjoy it when you do this’. ‘I feel appreciated, special, loved, accepted when…’ It can open up the lines of reciprocal communication to help people draw closer.

There is another aspect to this I want to mention before I close. Since most people seek ‘love’, ‘acceptance’, ‘happiness’ perhaps we can be more loving, accepting and joyful. Perhaps, we can become more cheerful givers and help others when in times of need.

If you want to feel better and feel better about yourself help another person when they have needs. Some people need loving treatment, some need career assistance, some need help picking up socks around the house, some need food, water and shelter. Some need to feel valued when they have no work and are down on their luck.

You can do any little thing in loving ways and be of great benefit to another person, family member, friend or stranger.

when you arise think of the privilege

There seems to have arisen in the US a culture of hate and intolerance. This vocal group blames and wants to cut people off from assistance because they feel there are people who are freeloaders. While there may be some freeloaders, that may just be a fact of life, I personally doubt there are very many people who want something for nothing. More people want love and acceptance and happiness than the haters seem to imply. They seem to scream that there is a culture of ‘entitlement’ that needs to be stopped.

If you want to stop this you don’t do it with whips and chains and taking food from their babies mouths. You do it through loving. You do it from understanding and accepting. You help others with helpful behaviors. If you want someone to be more productive lift the person up don’t insult them and push them further down.

The Golden Rule, which the more I come to understand it, IS the most incredible Rule we could ever hope to have. It is a rule of GO FIRST. Go first in thought and in deed. Hold the other person in the highest esteem, the highest regard, expect the best and people tend to rise to the level of what is expected of them. Give first of your thoughts, your feelings, your energy, your time, your resources and while helping others you actually help yourself.

It is more than the simple notion of karma and what goes around comes around. Or you better watch out because YOU will get back what you put out.

While that may be the case it is truly more the question of ‘what do you want to create?’

What kind of world do you want to have? Do your want it filled with more hating or more loving? If you want the latter you and I need to begin right there by being more loving in all we do with everyone we are around.

sometimes smallest step is biggest step

It begins with us not with the other person. Being loving doesn’t include keeping score, having a one up one down power mentality. Loving means doing things that are loving and accepting for others; family, friends and strangers.  It also includes being more loving and accepting of ourselves.

I believe if each of us did nothing more than actually practiced the Golden Rule, wholeheartedly, not only would our own lives transform in absolutely positive incredible ways but then so would our world.

There will be some that will say, ‘well that is all fine and well but not everyone will do it’ and I say. ‘SO WHAT?’ Transformation doesn’t begin over there it begins right here in our own hearts and minds and beings. Be less concerned with what others do and absolutely concerned with what you do. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions and do not evangelically try to make others conform.

Live lovingly, treat others in loving ways and watch your world positively evolve! Treat yourself in loving ways and everything will transform. Don’t try to change others and require them to be anything other than completely who they are good or bad, instead go first and be loving and accepting. Lift them up and they will get up.

If you can help someone in their time of need, if you can support someone in their pursuits, their goals and passions, if you can be there in loving ways with a kind word or deed you are helping to make the world a better place. So pay it forward and enjoy how beautiful your life and all of life becomes!” Rex Sikes

Today, live, love, laugh and celebrate!

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