Tag Archives: Positive Practice

How To Get Great Power And Get What You Want


“Life IS what you make of it! You really do make it. You are making things happen in many different ways, You initiate, you create it. You react or respond to others but, regardless, all of your actions and inactions have consequences. Take responsibility! Some people will balk at this idea because they believe that some things are just out of our control. To think you don’t have control  is a mindset of weakness.

Why take 100% responsibility for everything? Because when you accept responsibility you get power. Tremendous power! When you think and act as if you are in charge of everything that happens in you AND to you and around you then you free yourself  from victim mentality. You act as a strong person in charge because you are in control. You think and feel and act as a victor.

You can think more clearly, feel more powerfully and act with commitment.  You cut through a lot of bull when you take 100% responsibility because you stop conning yourself and making excuses. You stop blaming yourself and others. You feel better. You feel great! You feel as good as you CHOOSE to feel!

Make it a point to live each day of YOUR life 100% ‘on purpose’. Then you will  readily come to understand that everything really does originate with thought. You will  appreciate the concept that what we think about most often, most of the time, is what we become. You will KNOW that the results you get ARE because of your thoughts, feelings and actions. If you don’t like what you are getting you will know what to change to get what you want.

never give up

You will feel yourself powerful. If you want something it will be up to you to make it happen. You might not know the ‘how’ yet YOU will find the way. You will feel good about what you are able to accomplish. You will discover positive creative power and your planning power. You will act with dedication and passion.

Some people get upset frustrated with their circumstances or current situation. They get stressed and unhappy about things. When you accept full responsibility that YOU somehow caused it then YOU can change it! You have the power within you to transform it. You transform everything with your thoughts! This mindset is wonderful.

Cut through all the crap and stop giving away your power. Stop blaming and making excuses.  You will have much more energy for yourself. Your life will transform. You take less than glorious moments and make them better. You change your thoughts, your feelings and your actions accordingly. You work to transform the outer circumstances as you are able. What you cannot change you accept and adjust for. YOU make your life better.

You act on purpose and with purpose. So live ‘on purpose’, and ‘be at cause’ and make great things happen for yourself and others Keep these words in mind; ‘If it is to be it is up to me!'” Rex Sikes

Do it! Have a fabulous day!

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Today Is Your Day. Do This!

the choice to have a great attitude

“Why don’t you just take today to relax and feel good. It’s not the weekend, it’s not hump day. It is just a regular ole’ day. Thursday. Doesn’t matter which day it is take this day and make it special for yourself.

If you go to work make it a point to relax, take some breaths, stretch a bit, smile more and make the day easy going for you no matter what goes on.  Keep on working well but do it with a delightful attitude.If you don’t work do the same thing, relax, take some breathes, smile more. Find things to enjoy and delight in.

Enjoy this day. Make each moment marvelous for yourself and maybe another person too. Think some happy thoughts, say thanks to others.  Find things about today and who or what surrounds you to appreciate and feel grateful for. Find something inspiring to read or spend some time thinking about. Positively daydream when you are able.

Do this for no reason at all. Do it just because you could. Make it your day to feel a bit better. To feel as well as you can. To feel absolutely grand. Today, is all up to you. Enjoy it!” Rex Sikes

Determine to make each day special. Why not? Each day belongs to you!

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Stop Sabotaging Yourself With Negative Self-Talk!

what you allow is what will continue

“We all have a stream of thought that flows through our head continuously. We think in pictures and we describe those pictures to ourselves and/or we comment on them to ourselves. Some people are more cognizant of their mental images than others but we all see (in some fashion) and respond to the images we form.

We think in words and sentences.  We talk to ourselves silently or out loud.  We talk ourselves through activities and exclaim when things go well or not so well.  Our thoughts may be negative or positive. Some may be neutral. Regardless, we are thinking to ourselves moment to moment during our waking hours. Some people are more aware of what they say to themselves than others.

This stream of consciousness is a left brain function. There has been a lot of emphasis on right brain for creativity. Many actors, artists, musicians and performers are believed to have a right hemispheric dominance, however, research suggests that happiness is a left brain function. Creativity right brain but happiness left brain.

This may be  one of the reasons why many creative people and others seem to be tormented. They use their right hemisphere well but they either  under utilize the left hemisphere or they have not developed the ability to manage their thought process. The key to well-being is in whole brain function and balance. You want to utilize both hemispheres more effectively. To do so results in feeling better and more well-being.

you can master anything w self control

The key to happiness is in what we say to ourselves repeatedly every second of the day! Our happiness depends on our thoughts, our images and our words.  Thought precedes action and feelings.  When we think the best we can feel the best!

There is no real way around this. When you are feeling incredible your thoughts are aligned with those feeling. If you don’t believe this to be true what happens when you are feeling great and suddenly get some bad news? You know, it rains on your parade. Do you then begin to feel bad? If so, what changed?

Obviously, your thoughts have changed. Instead of enjoying what you were enjoying and thinking and feeling NOW your thoughts are about whatever the news is. So your thoughts have changed. Then what happens?  Your feelings change. Don’t they?

I bet they do! Unless, you have learned how to be otherwise. If you have learned the art of managing your thinking and feelings then you will understand how to feel great but be able to respond appropriately in any situation. SO change your thoughts and you change your feelings!

talk to yourself like someone you love

You cannot be a positive person if most of your thoughts are neutral and negative. You can’t have a positive fulfilling life if most of your thoughts aren’t positive.  In order to be happy, powerful and productive and in order to create the kind of life you want your SELF TALK and pictures should be PREDOMINANTLY  positive.

What we say IS important! We should make positive pictures and speak positively to ourselves (and others). I have discussed each of these in this blog and I encourage you to go back and read about what you can do in more detail. It will open your eyes and you will discover more nuance when you go back and re-read.

YOU can be, do and have anything you want WHEN YOU learn how! You  can be, do and have anything you want when you put into daily practice what you have learned.  Knowledge is only useful when it is applied. To know and not to do is to not know! You must use what you know correctly to make the changes you want to make to improve your life. You must develop positive habits!

In order to make better pictures practice visualizing what you want. See what you want as already having occurred for you. Imagine everything as you want it to be in as much detail as possible. Do this again and again daily. Learn to focus on what you want and stay with it for a few minutes at a time. DAILY! As often as you can but at least once a day. Twice is better. You will discover this to be incredibly powerful.

change what is going on within you

Manage what you think and say to yourself. Use Directed Questions and Affirmations to direct your mind and keep it on positive thoughts. Repeat the affirmations with enthusiasm and energy out loud when you are alone and able to. Shouting them happily in the car while you drive safely is a great time to be positive.

If you discover yourself thinking less than gloriously in your self talk, or images stop, and nudge yourself back into thinking positive. Learn the art of changing the direction of your thoughts. Remember, from previous posts about changing the channel. You may not be able to stop or get rid of negative thoughts directly BUT you CAN replace them!

Take control! Then you become  in charge of your own thought stream instead of allowing it to run over you. When you do this you are learning at the conscious and unconscious level to develop new powerful, helpful,reliable habits because you are wiring in new neural pathways. New neural pathways mean new thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

Take charge of your feelings and behaviors. If you are stuck change what you are doing. Take a short small break. Take some deep breaths, SIGH. Stretch. Take a brisk walk. Go somewhere private and do  jumping jacks or some vigorously physical activity for a moment. Shift your physiology. Use your body movement and posture differently. Change your body posture, your breathing and your rate of movement and you will change your thinking and feelings too.

success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out

To become more positive and inspired overall fill your mind each day with inspirational, motivational, positive, powerful material. Read from books, listen to audio. Surround yourself with positive images and pictures. Hang out with positive people. Spend time in nature enjoying the beauty. Help others. Relax, chill, stop resisiting. Count your blessings and look for what is good! There is a lot you can do. You don’t have to do everything but you have to do SOME things.

Understand that your ONE goal is to feel good moment to moment. After all what is life all about if it isn’t about having a wonderful one? Your goal is to feel the best you can at any given time and help others to feel the best they can.  I don’t mean a syrupy dripping with greeting card positivity. I mean to genuinely feel well being and the best you can feel. Life is meant to be enjoyable so enjoy it!

When you take deliberate charge  of your self talk you are doing something incredible for yourself. When you manage your internal thoughts, the pictures and sounds and sentences you generate, you are able to tip the scale toward the positive. You want more positive than negative. You want A LOT of positive.

Fill up your being  with the positive and become a more positive, productive and powerful person. When you are a more positive, powerful, and productive person you can more easily get what you want. You can think, focus and act far better than when negative. You can resolve issues much more readily when you are feeling good and up, than when you are down and out. When your energy, your being, your thoughts and feelings are mostly positive YOU CAN literally be, do and have anything you want!” Rex Sikes

Make to day count for something wonderful!

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Love Changes Everything!

you can always do more than you think

“No one wants to go without it. Everyone wants to feel loved. There have probably been times in your life when you wished someone would call you up and say something nice. You hoped for someone to share an encouraging, kind word with you. Perhaps, you longed for something that simple or just a hug when it was most needed.

When you take a moment for someone else you are helping that person to feel more significant, to feel validated and to feel cared for, maybe even, loved. We all want to feel these feelings.  We want to feel important. All of us can help each other to feel better. You and I can.

Take a second or two during your day to say hello, to smile, to acknowledge another person when you are passing by. See if you can’t put a smile on their lips. Listen, respond, validate. Be kind, be thoughtful, be gentle.

When you lift another person up emotionally; when you inspire them; when you can help someone reach a goal or  support them in their passion do so. Do not hesitate. Give and give freely. Providing a moment of caring can make all the difference to someone in need.

what u put out u attract

Not only will you help someone else to feel better but you will help yourself too. If you’d like to fill your life to overflowing with everything wonderful give first. When you give first, without expecting anything in return,  you change yourself in many positive ways. When you pay it forward you get it back many times over, even if it never comes from anyone else. You feel the feelings because you did something generous and wonderful. You transform yourself!

This time of the year can be particularly difficult for many people. Holidays are meant to be happy but they are not for everyone. Whether we are in the season or not being kind, loving and supportive is something we can be and do every day of the year.

Discover what you can do today! Small or large create a positive ripple of loving and kind energy through all of those around you. Spread thoughtful, loving energy to family, friends and strangers. Make your day and theirs a little easier and nicer!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy, celebrate and delight. Life is grand!

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Who Do You Think You Are?

correct your mind the rest will fall into place

“Who are you? The answer is, you are who you think you are. You are either a poor person who doesn’t have enough and lives hand to mouth, a pauper, perhaps, or you are a wealthy millionaire living abundantly enjoying everything there is to enjoy. Who deserves it!

The fact of the matter is that  what is currently in your bank account doesn’t matter. Your past and present do not define you. YOU define you!  What matters is your self definition, the view of yourself, the thoughts you think about you. These determine who are you. You determine who you are and how far you will go. You determine what your life will be like and what you do and have. YOU, it is all up to you!

You decide who you are . Your present situation shows you what your thoughts about you have been up until now. You are where your thoughts brought you. You will go where your thoughts take you. If you like where you are at, fabulous! Keep it up!

If you do not like your current circumstances YOU can change them! You can make life more of what you want it to be, BUT, you have to be willing to change what you are doing! That is the key. If you want your life to change then you must make some changes first. Then you can have everything you want.

Everything begins in thought. Thought precedes feelings and actions. Reality is really only our interpretation. You’d be better off imagining that you are very wealthy but have yet to deposit all that money in your account than to worry about about your current financial situation. Worry and fear only bring about more of the same. You don’t want more lack do you? If you want abundance you focus on it!

worry takes away today's peace

The point is to aim high at what you want to become. You may not have everything yet, but in your mind you should assume that you do and live there as though you have.  Imagine vividly what you want as though you already have all of it. See yourself as your ideal self and continue to hold these thoughts in your mind. Daily! Often!

Send a clear command to your unconscious mind (your servo-mechanism) that this is who you are and what you want. Then patiently wait for it to develop. It is a process and takes some time.

You faithfully work on it daily. It works similarly to planning a trip. You chose your ultimate destination. You know where you want to end up and then you travel there. You may have to alter your route from time to time but you keep heading toward where you want to end up. You  get there bit by bit. You can’t rush it.  It takes whatever amount of time it takes but ultimately you arrive at your chosen direction, but, you have to stick with it and never quit.

So decide who you are. Decide what you do and what you have and keep that alive in your mind daily. Stay positive! It is not what is presently going on that matters! You created that previously. Do not focus on the present circumstances!  Focus on what you want and how it will be in the future. Maintain that focus habitually! Stick with it.

see it in your mind first

How do you deal with the present? You embrace it with compete and utter gratitude. After all, you brought it about whether you wanted to or not. Appreciate everything.  Take 100% responsibility and appreciate yourself. You move forward faster when you are grateful!

Whatever you did, whatever you have was because of what you thought and did at that time. Whatever you did you did. No worries no matter. No blame. Accept it. You acted as you knew how to act then. What matters most is what you decide from here on out. From this moment on is what matters! It is what you do next and what you continue to do that will determine what your future will be like!

Recognize that YOU can make the future whatever you want it to be. Go back and re-read these blog posts for more details, tips, strategies and principles that will help guide you into having an incredible future!

Handle  current problems by focusing on the solutions and remaining positive. Stay calm and relaxed. Remember worry and negativity don’t help anything. Stay focused on your destination. Don’t get sidetracked. Keep your focus. You can and will make it happen!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate Today! It Is A Special Day! It is the only day of its kind you will ever have!

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You Are The Author Of Your Life – What Are You Writing?

what holds u back is who u think u are not

“For things to change you have to change. There is no way around it. It is up to you. You are the author of your life, the captain of your soul, the master of your fate whether you accept it or believe it or not. That is just the way it is.

The results you are getting are up to your mindset, your thoughts, feelings and actions. Your results and your life are they way they are because of you and not because of anyone or anything else. Right now you are getting exactly what you have decided to get. You protest, ‘hey I didn’t decide’. Well, no decision is a decision. SO if you want to get something else you have to become something else.

When you are willing to be totally responsible for everything in your life you get to get the good stuff! This means, however, you have to take responsibility for the glorious and the not so glorious. You are responsible for everything! Good and not good. That is just the way it is.

Sure, things happen from the outside but whether you react or respond is up to you. How you react or respond is yours too. The habits you have learned are controlling you. It is time for you to control your habits. Learn to develop good habits that serve you.

change your attitude and it will change your life

When you change your habits, you change who you are.  When you change who you believe you are, you will automatically change your habits. Change your thoughts and you change!

What we focus on expands. If you focus on being a victim you will be the victim. When you focus on being the victor you will be the victor. We become what we think about.

If you are not totally pleased with what you are experiencing then it is completely up to you to make it different and make it better. Don’t blame  anything or anyone.  Reclaim your power. If you want things to change be the change you want to become AND YOU WILL BE!

Since you are the captain of your soul navigate somewhere wonderful. Because you are the master of your fate fulfill your purpose and your destiny. As the author of your life write something beautiful. You can if you believe you can!” Rex Sikes”

Make today count! Make it marvelous!

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Momentum: Works Against You or For You!

thoughts design my energy

“Have you noticed that when someone does something AND you get angry that a very fast sequence of events occurs? The action by that other person triggers something in you.  Perhaps, the person said or did something that offended you. You heard it and realized that it was offensive. That moment is when things really get going.

Thoughts begin to jam into your head. You begin to think of examples and more examples of how the other person is wrong. They are wrong not only now but in the past. One example leads to the next.  We find all the reasons they are wrong, We find the reasons everything is wrong!

We blame them for our present discomfort.  We blame them for previous discomfort. We begin to get hot, we get louder. Things speed up and we begin to lose control. Our being is flooded with chemicals and hormones and feelings that are less than glorious. We are mad. Boy, are we mad! We may even turn our anger on ourselves too.

We get hot under the collar and then we get hotter and hotter. Pretty soon we are very angry. We may behave in ways that we don’t want to. We hate getting angry. Did you ever notice that it seems difficult to stop being angry during all this? It IS hard to change direction ONCE we get going. Anger and negativity gain in  momentum!

It is difficult to stop because as we get angry everything does start speeding up.  These ‘hot’ emotions  gain velocity. More thoughts, more blames, more negative feelings rush in. Everything escalates. Pretty soon we are in a shouting match.

Why are we shouting at each other? Because the same thing is occurring in the other person. One negtive thought leads to another negative thought. Birds of a feather flock together. Before we know it we are battling. Negativity fosters or attracts more negativity!

The reason for this is because these thoughts and feelings travel well worn, well traveled neural pathways. We have gone this route  before, again and again. While different things may cause us irritation we tend to get angry the very same way. In fact, we get frustrated the same way. We get confused the same way. We get turned on the same way. Whatever triggers whichever emotional state in us the result is we move through the emotions pretty much the same way each time.

Researchers estimate that most of our behaviors are the same. We are automatons carrying out programmed activities. We operate by rote.  We are habitual and patterned creatures. We work reliably, consistently, producing similar results each time outside of our awareness and conscious control.

what you allow is what will continue

We are mostly unconscious with a little bit of consciousness. We have a little bit of an ability to direct and control. The vast majority of us does whatever it learned to do, over and over again forever, UNTIL we learn to do something else instead. If you doubt this how many different ways do you have that you tie your shoes?

How often do you switch your washing order while bathing. You have a sequence don’t you? How often do you eat with the other hand or chew on the other side of your mouth? How frequently do you take alternate routes to work? Do you ever get dressed in a different order, top down or bottom up? Why or why not? Which foot do you first put your sock on or into your pant leg?  We are consistent creatures of habit.

This unconscious consistency is a tremendously valuable ability . We do not have to learn to do things over again each time we do them. We have neural pathway memory. It is streamlined it happens quickly. We don’t have to reinvent the wheel.

But anything that is a resource can also have a downside and vice versa.

When we travel pathways to positivity and productivity swiftly and consistently we deem it a great thing. We are happy we are unconsciously competent and reliable. BUT when the dark side rears its head we loathe the fact that we think and behave poorly, inadequately and ineffectively. Our habits really do determine who we are and what we are able to enjoy!

As infants we pretty much began with a clean slate. We may have genetic predispositions BUT from experience living in our new environment we learned how to react to meet our needs. Our neurology responded to outer (and inner stimuli) and after a few times it no longer needed to respond it simply reacted. Our neurology learned what to do. The sequence fired off reliably from whatever trigger it.

How and why  we learned these habitual reactions is not so important.  Suffice to say we learned to react and behave this way during our development being surrounded by others. Some people learned to fight at the slightest provocation while others learned to retreat. Some bulldoze over everyone else while others cower and flee.  In another situation we may bolt and run it all depends.

There is no blame and no shame in having learned to do things while growing up. These are protective mechanisms as well. Even the least enjoyable and the most negative behaviors have seeds of resources within them. Nothing human is ever wholly negative. It may certainly seem that way though.

The point is that we react reliably. We react the same way. Once triggered a sequence occurs and will travel to the end of the sequence unless it is otherwise interrupted.

we first make our habits then our habits make us

So when we react with anger, or in any way we deem less than glorious, we react habitually the same way. It is important for me to clarify here that I think most, if not all, emotions and behaviors are useful in appropriate contexts. They are resources to be used.

At the right time and place anger (or any other emotion) may not only be appropriate to use but desirable AND the best choice. Anger is the right response at certain times. It is when we don’t want it or don’t need it that it may be an issue.

SO: Similar triggers or events by self, others or circumstances can launch us into a tirade or into running away. The sequence of internal neural firings is mostly the same. The course traveled the same and the outcome the same. That is why people find themselves doing things they don’t want to do again and again. It is a habit. It is in the neural wiring. Something triggers it and before we know it we are in it.

When the trigger occurs there IS a moment of opportunity. It is fleeting! There is a split second in which we could, if aware, disengage and step away from the process. It happens so quickly it may be hard to recognize in order to take advantage of it but with repeated trials one can find it and utilize it to engineer a different result.

When we get angry hot, or scared, chemicals are released in order for us to be able to fight or to flee in order to save our own lives. We were created or we evolved that way. It IS useful in certain situations but not in all the various situations we find in modern life. When humans lived outdoors and had deal with day to day survival these chemicals squirting inside us causing us to react quickly which served an important purpose. It helped us survive! It is much more rare today.

If a wild animal attacks you fighting or fleeing makes sense but if your spouse, boss or co-worker offends you the stakes are not actually the same. They only seem like it. We make it that important but truly the stakes aren’t that high.

Our lives in the modern world are much more tame or calm by comparison however, our neurology still perceives non-threatening situations (insults and disobedience) as ‘life threatening challenges’. They aren’t but we still react as if they are. We learned to.

When these chemicals release and begin to flood us (it is actually called ‘Emotional Flooding’) we react the way we have previously. We yell, scream, throw things, insult, cry, stamp our feet and do whatever we have done. Things escalate. We literally get hot, then hotter and hotter! We are able to actually tell when we are getting confused, frustrated, or angry. We recognize the sequence of neural and chemical firings. We can feel the changes occurring. We know what is happening but it seems outside our control.

success after failure HILL

An example I have frequently used to illustrate what happens when we become flooded with chemicals and emotions is to imagine a snowball on the top side of a mountain. Something triggers it to roll down the hill. As it begins to roll downhill it picks up snow, mass or weight, and more energy.  It’s velocity increases. It begins moving faster and faster all the while growing larger. While it grows in size and weight it grows in speed. It becomes a one giant steamrolling monster snowball. It can cause lots of damage on the way down.

Trying to stop it once it is of considerable size would be like trying to stop an automobile coming at you at 60 miles an hour. There is too much mass too much speed. It has gained momentum.

If you could stop it at the very beginning you could easily prevent the rest from occurring. You’d want to intercede between the trigger and its first movement. You have to catch it right as it begins to move because as soon as it picks up speed it becomes to difficult to stop. You’d need an equal and opposite or greater force.

If a snow ball is difficult for you to imagine think of a truck parked on the hill. The brakes give way and it begins to roll. If right at first you stepped in front of it you could stop it with your body or just by pushing back on it with you hands. It was moving slowly and it had not gained much momentum. Had it traveled too many feet you had best jump out of the way. It has gained too much momentum for you to stop it.

So when we fight or argue with another person there is a flash point, the trigger, and things get moving and pretty quickly after that. Fairly soon everything is moving along at top speed. There is momentum.

The less than glorious thoughts and feelings have  gained mass and velocity so it keeps moving on its own accord. You don’t have to do anything to keep it moving. The snowball and the truck careen down the hillside due to momentum.

So the trick is to catch it before it gets too far and to stop it. We will explore this is further detail in future posts. What I want you to know now is that most of us are familiar with this form of negative momentum. Many of us do want to change it. We actually can change it.  That is the good news?

What fewer of us realize is that just as there is negative momentum there is positive momentum. We could be flooded with positive powerful wonderful feelings more often but few of us have developed this as a habit. Thoughts and chemicals are released when we move into states of well-being, peace, joy, and happiness.

Wouldn’t it be nice to reduce or eliminate the negative unnecessary flooding? Wouldn’t you like to experience positive emotional flooding more often? I know I do.

to bring it into your life imagine it already there

The good news is that we can. We can be filled with the most incredible and delightful feelings more of the time during our days and nights. We can be feeling wonderful most of the time once we take the time to learn how. We need to wire it in just as we wired in the fight or flight patterns. We are able to learn to do this!

The difference NOW however, is that previously we learned how to do those habits without realizing we were learning them. We did all that outside of our awareness.  We learned it unconsciously. We didn’t realize at the time, most probably because we were very young, that we were learning and reinforcing patterns we might keep for a lifetime.

Now, today, we want to go in and deliberately change these to learn other more productive patterns and habits. Now we are deliberate about it. This makes a huge difference for some people. This sets apart the victims from the victors.

The victims, given the choice, don’t use it. They whine and complain that it is too hard to change. They state that they believe it is not realistic to be happy all the time. This reasoning comes from their habitual patterned way of thinking. Yes, they find all the reasons why it can’t and won’t work.

Why? because they have spent a life time gathering evidence for the beliefs they maintain. We all do.  If you believe something you will find the evidence for it.Our frames of mind determine what we are able to notice and pay attention to.

This is why our reality is ‘we see what we believe’ more than the other way around. Sadly, most of us won’t believe it until we get evidence for it AND it just doesn’t actually work that way neurologically.

Instead of trying something new they opt to remain the same.  They maintain the status quo.  They remain the same because this is how they previously have thought all along. They continue to maintain what they already think. They don’t challenge it or really try to change it. Seem my previous posts discussing Premature Cognitive Commitment.

IF they DO try they don’t stick with it long enough to learn to do something new, different and productive. Instead they take a step or two, stumble or fall and then they don’t bother to get up or even try to. They give up! Those that succeed in any endeavor fall many times but they get  up and continue forward. That is how you get success.

The victims decide, because of a previous decision made god knows when, that they can’t change, it is too hard or that trying isn’t worth it. They already are convinced that nothing  works. However, if they had stuck with it long enough they would prove themselves wrong.

change what is going on within you

People get uncomfortable when they are confronted with the fact that they might be wrong.  They will do whatever is necessary to maintain the status quo even if it IS not correct.  This is called Cognitive Dissonance.

People will keep doing the same things over and over hoping for different results (the definition of insanity) but getting the same results. When they get the same results, they exclaim, ‘see I told you there was no point’. It is a self reinforcing cycle. A self fulfilling prophecy.

In a nutshell it goes something like this. The person does not expect to be able to change, they think people are just the way they are. They try to change but realize it might be difficult so they quit thus proving it is hard to change because you are what you are, after all.

So for some people deciding to make change can be tricky. They wil find every excuse possible because it is more comfortable to cling to the excuse than it is to discover you may have been wrong in your thinking for many years. I point this out not to blame anyone. We are all susceptible to this, especially me, but to bring light to some of the reasons we might not act in our own best interests.

We can change! We can absolutely change! As I stated we will continue to explore how to get free, to make positive decisions and to create positive momentum. Many of the ways of doing this have been shared in previous blog posts. Re-read or read them for the very first time.

There are life transforming principles and practices in these pages. Some of these are my approaches and many of these are tried and true approaches shared by others far smarter and wiser than I. There are gold nuggets in these pages and in the pages of the works of wisdom down through the ages. All you have to do is begin using these.

Once we learn to think on the positive side of things it gets easier. Positive thoughts and feelings attract positive thoughts and feelings. We flood with chemicals and hormones of well being, peace and joy. Birds of a feather flock together. Then positivity and well-being gain in momentum.

Continue to do this and make it a habit. Take positive steps moment to moment, daily.  You see, we do become what we think about.

repetition is the mother of skill

We BECOME what we think about! There is a tipping point where we are predominantly positive instead of predominantly fine, or less than glorious or downright negative. We can tip the scales in our favor and feel wonderful more of the time! We can choose to be happy most of the time.

HOW? By doing as I have suggested in these posts. By filling your mind with positive inspirational material. By visualizing your life as you want it to be.  Imagine already having what you want to be, feel, do and have.

Recite positive affirmations with energy and enthusiasm. Use Directed Questions to aim your mind into positive possibilities. The secret is simple. As Earl Nightengale said, it is the strangest secret because it is so simple, and that is ‘we become what we think about’.

Decide to be the author of your life story, the captain of your ship, the one in charge of you. Decide today to do things that help you think and feel better.  Commit and encourage these thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Nudge them along, nurture them, inch your way if you want but create forward movement. Drop by drop the tub fills. Little things done repeatedly make a big difference.

There are consequences to the decisions and actions you take! You can change an outcome by changing your decisions and actions positively. You are responsible for the results you get or do not get. Which are you victim or victor? What will you do today?” Rex Sikes

Delight another and you delight yourself!

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Happiness Is A Choice! What Are You Choosing?

you are entirely up to you

Yes, you can be happy 100% of the time when you choose to be happy. It is a decision. It is a choice. You can chose not to be happy at any given moment. Everything is up to you. You are the decision maker.

Most people think it is up to others or to circumstances or the world or to God. People give their power and their choice away. Every single moment of every single day you have the choice how to respond. Whether you use your power or not is completely up to you.

Most people only react because much of their lives are spent not realizing WHO has the choice. They think and behave from patterned, habitual ways. So even though they have choice it appears to them as if they do not. They don’t realize that they actually do so they don’t act as if they do. Perception is everything! If you think you are powerless you are. If you believe you can make a difference you can!

Since they don’t act as a person with the power to choose they let other things, people, situations and events  determine how the moment will be. They let the outside determine how they feel inside.

In essence, they give their power away. Others or other things make the choices for them. Then they either accept it willingly or unwillingly. They feel at the mercy of ‘the universe’ or ‘luck’ and they blame something or someone for what happens in their lives.

you can master anything w self control

This is how many people live but it need not be this way. We can get free. We can make changes. We can live powerfully and positively!

In order to ‘get free’  we need to begin to be able to challenge some closely held assumptions and chronic beliefs. We need to interrupt patterns and habits and begin to exercise our choice muscle. We need to begin to take 100% responsibility for ourselves and our lives.

We need to stop putting the power outside of ourselves. We have to stop blaming others and external circumstances and begin to act as the captain of our own life and steer our life where we want it to go. If you want to be happy more of the time you have to chose to be happy. We need to shift our focus from what is outside ourselves to what we do on the inside. We need to shift focus. It begins with our thoughts.

we cant direct the wind

Nothing external  to us actually makes us happy  but it does seem that way.  Nothing will make us feel confident, worthwhile or valued from the outside. We think if we have the right car, the right house, the right income, or if people say the right things to us we will be happy but happiness, feeling valued, worthwhile  and secure is a choice that comes 100% from within. It begins within each of us.

When you ‘get it’ that you can actually be happy and feel wonderful  ANYTIME and ANYPLACE  YOU choose, regardless of what the external circumstances or situations may be, is the moment when you begin to become free. It is at that moment life becomes the life of your making and your design. Sure, things happen to us but the response is ours alone.

Never blame yourself for unwanted responses or for reacting in certain ways because that is resistance and what you resist you give strength to. As you begin to live a new way the old way attempts to pull you back. That is because of the habits and patterns you akready have. It is okay they served you. They have been a resource at times and at other times a limitation. So don’t fight them. You will move forward faster if you accept them and appreciate them while practicing behaving in the new ways.

two options any moment step forward or

Ultimately, as you practice new ways the new habits will take hold. Be patient and love yourself through it all. In my last post I pointed out that while learning a new route to your new home or job you may occasionally find yourself traveling to the old place of work or residence. That happens.  Its okay!

Ultimately you travel only the new route UNLESS you decide to go back and travel the old at some time. Now you have the new route becoming wired in and you can choose to travel the old route. You have a choice. In the same way the new thoughts, feelings and behaviors take hold and replace the old ones. You will develop your positive habits to replace the old ones.

When you don’t think or behave as you hope to. Simply recognize that you did not think, feel or behave as you have liked.  Note it, forgive yourself, (make amends with others if you have hurt them, do the right thing) accept yourself, and accept that you are learning to do new things that are not perfected yet. Everyone makes mistakes, that is okay it is all part of living. Move on.

When you first begin practicing ‘having choice’ you will encounter moments when you become aware that a decision can be made instead of only reacting.  Some of these moments you will blow right past. Again, that is okay! Recognize these as moments you want to respond differently to in the future. Awareness is one of the first steps in the process.

what you think about you bring about

There will be another opportunity to chose again in the near future. Meanwhile, utilize mental rehearsal. Imagine making the new choices. Think and see yourself behaving as you want to in the future. Visualize your successes. See yourself making the choices and responding the way you want to. Visualize repeatedly! You want to send strong, clear, precise messages to your unconscious mind that in these  moments these are the behaviors you want.

Imagine already having the new choices and behaviors and watch yourself choose the new ways. If it feels good you are on the right track. If something feels amiss make positive adjustments until you do feel good as you imagine the new future you. Rehearse your successes.

Athletes, actors, musicians, and others all understand the value of mental and physical rehearsal or practice to wire in the skills and behaviors you want to encourage, SO practice. You will get better as you do. Practice making choices! Practice being in charge! Practice living as a victor and being the captain of your own life!” Rex Sikes

Delight another and you delight yourself!

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How To Stop Unwanted Habits That Prevent Your Success

whatever we plant in our subconscious

Everything we do we do as a result of habits and patterns. Brain scientists tell us that most everything we think and do today we did the day before and the days before that. Situations may come and go, the world changes, but for the most part we react the same way or similarly most, if not, all of the time. We are already on automatic and have limited choices.

Your acceptance or reluctance to accept this notion is based on your habitual thinking. What you believe about yourself, others and the world are patterns of thought you most likely have maintained for a very long time and you may not even be sure how you came to think this way. It is estimated we think at least 60,000 thoughts a day and upwards of 60% of those are the same thoughts we thought the day before. We are habitual and routine.

This is a great thing! It is also an area of difficulty for some of us. If our habits developed and we feel wonderful and productive and filled with well-being then they serve us. If on the other hand we feel down, bored, sad, mad or unable to get ahead they seem to work against us.

The definition of insanity, you may recall, is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. We can’t continue doing the same things habitually while hoping the end result will be different. That is insane. The good news is we can develop new habits that serve us and that work automatically and reliably to help bring us the good results we desire. We can definitely learn to acquire these new beneficial habits. Keep this in mind: We can acquire new habits!

It is simple!  It is easy enough! It does require some effort.  You do have to engage the new process and do it as often and  for as long as it takes to wire it in. Not everyone is willing to do this but if you want to you can develop reliable positive new ones.

Repetition is what builds the muscle in exercise and it is the mechanism by which we do most everything. If you moved to a new house or got a new job do you recall that sometimes you may have discovered yourself taking the old route to the old home or place of work? You did that because it was a habit.

you will see it when you believe it

You knew you were going to the new place but somewhere you realized you had headed back to the old place. In time, by repeatedly traveling the new route to the new home or work you got used to it. After awhile the new route became second nature and you no longer went the old way. It became wired in. It became the new habit. You now went to the new place automatically!

You didn’t have to effort a whole lot you just had to take the new route. Whenever you discovered yourself going the old way you made adjustments and went the new way. It wasn’t that difficult and soon enough the new way replaced the old way.

The same thing happens as we develop positive habits in our thinking, our feeling and our behaviors. There is a tendency and a pull to do things the old way but in time and through repetitive practice you get the hang of the new way. The key is sticking with it long enough for the new way to take hold. If you give up and quit the new possibilities will never take hold.

Much depends on your commitment and enthusiasm and  the reasons why you want to develop new ways of thinking, being and behaving. Your motivation determines how much and how far you will go. The good news is that while the beginning may be slow and take a little time after awhile you do develop a momentum. You will begin to experience the good results you desire. The new results replace the old ways and work automatically. Great news don’t you think?

Consider this. You plant a seed and give it time to grow by waiting patiently. When the seed breaks ground as a young plant you nurture it along. You give it what it needs to mature.  You do the same thing to develop new habits of thought, feeling and behavior. Give your new thoughts, feelings and behaviors the time and opportunity to develop as habits and they will. Your new better, positive, productive habits will take hold and grow strong. This is just the way it works!

We will discuss this more in depth. I suggest you also go back through the blog and re-read posts again and again. That repetition is important! Just as you feed yourself food on a daily basis for the body you should feed yourself positive, inspirational, motivational food for the heart, soul and the mind. Use this blog, inspirational books and audios too. Your car is a great place to listen. Fill your being up!

habits formed by acts and broken by contrary acts

Fill yourself with the best thoughts and feelings. Even a little bit each day is better than none. Make this part of your daily regime and it will become a habit. The more you do the more you can do. Skill comes from doing. Repeat the good things you want more of and you will get them!

You can develop positive powerful habits that serve you and move you forward towards everything you want in life and you can absolutely break and replace old habits that hold you back. You just have to decide that you are going to! Then do what it takes. Inch your way there if you want to but do something each day in your own best interests and before long you will see good results.

If you really want to do something you will find a way. If you don’t want to do something you will find the excuses. Every day can be a glorious wonderful day regardless of what comes along to try to spoil it. You can learn how to respond instead of react automatically. Soon the ability to freely respond becomes a habit to replace the old one.

Anything is possible when you allow for it and do whatever it takes to make it happen.  Learn to live and enjoy life in dynamic new ways. The world is here for you to enjoy and delight in!” Rex Sikes

Rejoice and be glad in this day!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.