Tag Archives: Self Improvement

Do This When Nothing Works! Live The Life You Deserve!

horizon blue snow and ice

“I am going to answer a reader’s comment here today! I forgo the formatting and use of bold headlines because I respond with a letter to the reader. While specific to one questioner, the answer as does the question applies to many. The following was sent to me:

‘Hi, I don’t know if you’ll see this but I thought i’d try. I read your posts every day like a newspaper. I tried all your techniques for the past month and have had nothing work for me. I’ve lost my faith on top of it. You know, when things just don’t seem to go your way and are really difficult. What can I do? I tried small steps and nothing. I tried big steps and nothing. Things are very rough right now. How do I get back on track? Can you address this in a post or something. When you think all is lost, when it doesnt go the way you are trying, seeing yourself in a certain good way, and asking, etc. What do you do then? thank you R   Date: Thu, 23 Jul 2015 11:21 rossirr…

Dear R,

The question you ask is an excellent question. It is not only relevant to you but I’m sure to countless others. It addresses the same concerns I shared for quite some time. I understand that it is tough when times are tough because I too have been in a place similar to what you describe. I am sure many others relate as well. Countless others.

You may or may not appreciate my answer. It may or may not address all your concerns. It may be most relevant at another time reading it days or weeks from now. I will do my best to explain as well as I am able.  This will be lengthy, no doubt, as I attempt to cover most everything.

I will start walking you through the answer with tough love. It will be tough but hang in there I will lighten up before I close, I promise.

To put it bluntly that is just the way it goes. Somethings in life are difficult and require massive effort and persistence to get through. Not everything is but sometimes that is what we encounter.

Some people try to quit smoking or stop biting their nails, or reduce the amount of food they eat per meal and find it difficult to do. So what. Some things are difficult to accomplish. Still, many people do accomplish making changes.

They quit many times before they actually quit smoking. Some have tried for years. They stop biting their nails over and over again until they actually finally stop. They yoyo diet prior to throwing in the towel or ultimately succeeding.

Some things require extra effort and time to get through or get over.

That is the bad and the good news. Some things require us to face them as they are. Everyone has obstacles and challenges and some seem insurmountable, at least at first, or even while going through them.

Boot camp for most people will be a miserable experience that in the long run proves rewarding.

Some people wonder if they will make it or even if it is worth it. They want to quit. Some do. It has been said, many people quit while on the verge of success. They stop too early. Had they kept going they would have great success but they quit minutes too soon.

Those who keep at it ultimately get rewarded for their patience, their efforts and their persistence. They get to the finish line.

It isn’t easy changing. It is simple in many ways but not always easy. How many years have you done something a certain way, or your way? If you want to change it don’t you think it would be reasonable to expect that it would take as long to change it as it took you to first learn it?

If it took you 5 years to learn to worry don’t you think taking 5 years to learn to relax would be reasonable?

Most of us expect things to happen in an unrealistic manner. We are conditioned to think it can be quick, easy, no cost, works like magic instead of stick with it, work it, sweat and labor and get through it eventually.

Most of us have wildly unrealistic time frames. We think it should happen much faster than it actually takes. We are impatient.

The good news is YES you can learn to change in less time than it originally took you, but how much is less time? 4 years and 11 months is less time, 4 years and 3 months, 2 years, 1 year all of those (and nearly any other variation) is less than 5 years. So how fast does a person need it? We always think we need it fast, don’t we?

When we are suffering it is not easy. It seems to take forever. It seemed that way for me. Do you know what I was? I was a quitter. I started many thing and if I got bored or they got too tough I gave up.

I became a jack of all trades but a master of none. I lived a huge portion of my life like this. My parent’s were supportive of anything I wanted to do and encouraged me in many areas.

They did not, however, say, ‘Keep at it no matter what. Stick with it and you will succeed if you persist’. Even when it came to acting and making movies by the time I was 23 I stated ‘I want to stop banging my head against all these walls and only focus on one thing.’

It wasn’t until I was somewhat older that I learned what it meant to hang in there no matter what. I started and quit many things YET there were some things I was wholly dedicated to.

I was dedicated completely to acting and making movies. I was thoroughly dedicated to learning personal change technologies and accelerated learning, to meditation and spiritual practices. While I quit many things I also learned some things ONLY work when given enough time and dedication.

In my blog I use many analogies. One is planting a seed, nurturing it and harvesting. Once planted the seed begins to grow. You gotta have faith since you can’t dig it up to check. Yet that is what we try to do with our personal development. We monitor and keep checking to see if we are growing enough or fast enough.

You can’t dig up a plant and do this. You will kill the plant. You just have to wait it out. Eventually, it sprouts but it is still young and tender. It needs time to get strong and sturdy. You can’t pull it up by the roots and keep checking if they are growing deep enough.

The same is true about personal change. Once you start have some faith. Whatever amount you have IS what you have. Use it. Believe that your efforts will ultimately pay off. Stop comparing with others. Stop comparing with the clock. Let go and trust you will succeed if you keep at it.

Do what you do and build the success habits. Read daily! Fill your mind and keep at it. I struggled and struggled throughout my life. Many times. I got to the point of not having anywhere to go. I was desperate, hurt, disappointed, scared, devastated and worse.

When I finally committed I decided I would read inspirational material for at least one month. I didn’t know what else to do but I knew I must do something. I had to make a change or else!

Everyday I would read a chapter from a book. I did that. During that month I spent as much time reading at other times as I could. I read. I devoured. I listened. I took notes on what I read and listened to. I re-read what I had read.

I chanted affirmations while I drove. Any time I was alone and no one could hear me I stated my affirmations. I kept my mind focused on what I wanted to become because I kept remembering that we become what we think about. I put positive posters all around my house.

So I focused. The world did not change one single bit. I did a little. Bit by bit I felt better. The floodgates did not open and I did not experience riches, new relationships or new possessions instantly coming too me. I just felt somewhat better.

At the end of 30 days I faced a decision. Stick with the practice or give it up. I decided to keep going. What else could I do? I figured if I never got what I wanted at least I could be happy with what I had.

I decided that if I did nothing more than learn to live better and nothing else worked then I would have succeeded.

I was eager for my new life to take hold. Somewhere in the future was a promise but the current situation still sucked. I compared where I was to where I wanted to be and the difference was vast. I did this too often too. Took me some time to realize what I was doing.

Eventually, I realized some important things. Critical things that helped me greatly.

One was about my expectations. I expected things to change over night just because I implemented a new thought program. I expected magical miraculous results. My faith was in the process but it also was a little bit like religious faith. I thought if I did enough things right everything outside of me would change.

It was as if someone else would grant my wishes as long as I stated them loud enough. When I realized I was putting my faith in ‘powers’ other than my own I began to awaken a little. I began to understand that it was from within me I may change my world and not the other way around.

Later, I realized I needed to take full responsibility for everything. Good, bad, past, present and future. I was responsible for everything in my life!  Even if I wasn’t. Even if this is all BS! I discovered great power.

Acting as if I were responsible gave me the mental attitude and the ability to make changes. I decided I was no longer a victim but a victor and I should act like one. Most of us give our power away through blaming ourself and others. I decided to own up for it all.

Again, there were some changes in me. AND guess what.  There were times I was powerful and confident and many times I was doubtful, worried and confused. Nothing really seemed to change, yet, was changing in many positive ways.

You see, it is very difficult to analyze and assess a process when you are the one going through it. That is why athletes have coaches. They need someone to tell them when they are off and when they are on. Same with personal change. We are not the people who should be judging our progress but that is what we do anyway!

What had bothered me for years was beginning to give way. I had new problems instead of old ones. I found new responses to old triggers and habits and I began to realize my being was shifting.

Slowly, I became a creator. I decided if anything were going to happen it was because of me. Well, some of the time I did. I was learning to steer back to the positive. I realized how important it was to self correct. I realized sometimes I had to just keep at it until nearly exhausted.

I fell off the positive wagon numerous times but now I was getting back on. I wasn’t quitting but boy I was tempted at times. Instead, I kept going. I determined to see it through even when I wanted to give up.

I kept reading books, listening to audios, doing affirmations and asking questions. I practiced keeping the faith. Some things got really much easier.

During all this time I became much more sensitized to when I was positive and when I wasn’t. I began to more quickly notice getting off track and more quickly making corrections. Before I knew it a year had gone by.

I had not reached any financial or career goals. I did however feel better about myself. I also realized that during the year I had done more for myself AND my career than I had done in some time. I was proactive. This pleased me enough to want to keep going.

I spent days listening, reading, studying, buying book after book. I got more into celebration and feeling gratitude too because I noticed how much better I felt when I began the day this way.

One day it occurred to me that one issue I had was in not realizing that I was already enough.  I kept thinking if I read another ‘how to’ book I would learn a secret I didn’t know and then everything would magically transform.

I began to see that I was an info junkie more than I was a practitioner. I filled my mind with book learning more than I practiced what I was learning. I began to understand that to know and not to do is not to know. If I knew what I should do but I didn’t actually do it. Then I really didn’t know it

Knowledge is only life changing when applied!

I read about vision boards and visualization and the importance of writing things out and I would agree. I just didn’t do it. I kept reading, I did keep affirming, but I wasn’t doing some of the critical inner work. I decided I needed to change that.

I continued to fell off the positivity wagon numerous times over the years. On and off. When it occurred to me one day that I was right where I was supposed to be. You can’t push a rope.

Right where I am right doing whatever I am doing is where I am. I am doing what I am doing. No that sentence is not weird for no reason at all. It is akin to ‘I am because I am’. I realized I was perfect. Perfectly flawed, perfectly blessed. Whatever I did or felt was as it should be.

If I were stuck in traffic, as an example, that was where I was supposed to be. Now I don’t mean it was ordained by god or the universe. I don’t mean anything like that at all.

I mean it just is where I found myself and I could choose to hate it or choose to accept it. Whatever I chose determined how I felt. How I felt often determined what I chose.

I learned there is no other place to be than where I am in this moment. Whomever I am, that is who I am. I am right where I am because of my thoughts, feelings, and actions. It can’t be otherwise. I am right where I am on the path. The joke version of this is ‘Wherever you are there you are’.  Nope, not a funny joke.

Believe me when I tell you some of these insights were powerful moments of ‘aha’. Other insights crept up gradually. Some times I had a burst of awareness but a slow creeping realization of actualizing it. In other words, I would get glimpse that excited me but took time to understand.

My point is – IT is what IT is. Wanting it to be more or less, wanting it to be other than it is, is where suffering comes from. It is no different than longing for your neighbors, boat, car, home or wife. Envy, jealousy, comparison, judging all tends to make us feel inadequate.

Comparison is the devil’s volleyball. We go back and forth between where we want to be and where we think we should be and where we actually are. Where we are IS ACTUALLY the only place we can be so accept it. If you don’t you suffer.

I began to celebrate wherever I was at. Good or bad it didn’t matter. Rich or poor. I would accentuate the present moment positively and feel as good as I was capable of feeling. Hey, we all doubt, worry and fear at sometimes. It is human. We also can gain mastery over most of it, if not all of it, through dedicated practice.

Still, the goal is not to become not human. The goal is to become more human and make better use of our talents and abilities. We aren’t super humans we are humans after all. Everything we think and feel is part of being human. For everything there is a season.

Does this make sense? We cause our own suffering by trying to push the rope. By wanting it better, bigger and faster. We try to manage our change. We can’t. We can only do what we do and let the results come because they will in their own time.

Actually our results follow our mindset. Thought precedes action and I will get to that in a moment. I told you this would be lengthy.

If you want a highly ripped, muscular, lean body then you must undertake an entire training regime for as long as it takes to carve that body out.

You have to eat right, exercise right, rest and sleep right. There is no substitute. Yes, they try to sell it to you on media but frankly, nothing works but the original process.

You have to dedicate yourself to making it happen because no one can do it for you. You won’t wake up one day to a miracle and have cut calves and biceps.  If you are going to get a healthy, lean physique you are going to work at it  through time. You are going to repeat what works daily, weekly, monthly and yearly.

Once you have the physique you still must do what it takes to maintain it. Use it or lose it. It requires rigorous application of known principles. Each is simple enough though not necessarily easy.

Those who get the cut body are those who wanted it badly enough to do whatever it took to make it happen.

If you are going to back a cake. It requires the correct ingredients and the correct cooking temperature and the correct time all done in a proper order. If you mess with anyone of these you most likely won’t get the cake you hope for. If it says bake for an hour and you bake for 15 minutes you don’t get the cake you hoped for.

If it says mix eggs and milk and chocolate together and then put in the over for x time… you won’t get the cake you hoped for if you put milk and chocolate in the pan, bake it and then try to add the eggs. You already know this, right?

When things happened for me is when I decided that no one and no law of attraction was going to make them happen. I was not going to manifest anything out of thin air. God, the universe, my family, a stranger was not going to save me or do it for me.

If I wanted anything then I was going to have to make it happen. That first and foremost required the correct mindset. I had to believe it and know that I could and would do it. I had to decide it was up to me and I had to follow through.

I had to feel like it and feel good most of the time. If I wanted to get what I wanted I needed to focus on it and nothing else. If circumstances around me sucked so be it. I would ignore those and concentrate my attention of my mindset and getting the results I wanted.

The circumstances I live within are not relevant to what I make happen and what my future will be like. My circumstances do not have to define me. I can define me and change my circumstances.

I needed to live like a gladiator. FIght the good fight and let nothing prevent me from winning. I determined to be the one who makes what I want to happen, happen. I want to live as a champion and not a wimp.

Boy, have I ever wimped out in my life. Of course, I already said that in a different way.

I resolved in my mind that nothing was going to happen because I hoped, wished or chanted for it. It would happen if and when I aimed my thoughts and actions at it. It would happen when I believed I can do it. ‘If it is to be it is up to me’. I need to take the right action steps.

What I discovered is I made plenty of mistakes and faced numerous obstacles. BUT SO WHAT. Everyone does. Baseball batters batting 300 miss the ball 70% of the time. Still they are top athletes!

Instead of feeling sorry for myself I began to see that each time I slipped up or got off track was a valuable lesson. Plus, it was an opportunity to get back on track. I realized I was building new habits.

New habits come from doing the correct thing repeatedly long enough. Once we make the new habit it replaces the old way. BUT we have to make it. We literally rewire our brain for success. It doesn’t happen over night but by successful repetition through time.

We live in a world that wants it fast. I decided I was in for the long haul no matter what it took I will make it happen. NO MATTER WHAT! Do you realize these realizations came to me over time. Not within the first 30 days.

I am now two years or more applying these practices as I discovered these things. Today, many years later I am still learning and discovering new things I did not know and rediscovering other things. This old dog IS learning new tricks.

Then life and some circumstances began to change. Did challenges disappear. Heck no but my ability to handle and overcome challenges changed and became an asset. I’d have quit before.

I’d have gone into doubt, worry, fear, self criticism and loathing before. NOW I celebrate that I am learning even when I make mistakes. I am filled with gratitude that I am on this path.

Does it mean I never have doubt or fear. AGAIN heck no. But, not for as long nor does it take the toll it once did.

My life is great because I say it is. I assert it and I declare it. I make it so.

Each day is an opportunity to find more joy and delight because that is what I want to find.

I deliberately look for the silver lining and now I find more gold. It is a training process just as getting cut abs are.

Some people have it easier than me that is certain. Some have it harder. I have it the way I have it because I have it that way. There is no other explanation. I am that I am. I gotta tell you, yes plenty of times I felt like giving up. Sometimes, I did. A few days or weeks would go by before I got back on track.

Things change. Everything changes.

We miss this because we are organized to keep ourselves the same. What we believe is what we see. So we miss a lot because we don’t already believe in ourself 100%. You have to decide to believe first. Not necessarily easy that is true.

The more you practice the visualization and the affirmations repeatedly the more swiftly you come to accept it and make it happen. Some people aren’t prepared to overhaul their lives.

Some jump in to exercise programs and gym memberships in January only to abandon them in February. Some take on more than they can handle. Some don’t take on enough!

You eat your meal one bite at a time. Whether you push the entire meal into your face cavern as one bite or whether you take numerous little ones you still eat your meal bite by bite.

I recommend making your self change program manageable. Do a little bit each day. If you can handle more do more.

Some people do almost nothing and expect gargantuan results. Some do everything and still don’t believe much will happen. Fill your mind, do the work and commit.

You read about leaders who sent army troops sailing to a new land to invade and conquer. Once there the leaders burned the boats. The troops triumph or the troops die. There is no other option. There is no leaving. Commit!

Many of us take the easy way out and quit when the going gets tough. I decided to live by Vince Lombardi’s statement, ‘when the going gets tough the tough get going’.

I have found I can handle far more than I ever was able to before because through the thick and thin, through the good times and devastating, disappointing times I was growing muscles and know how. I was growing an unstoppable attitude.

Many people don’t stop and really consider that to develop a champion, winner attitude you have to be challenged. It isn’t a free and easy ride.

Without challenge and obstacle, without resistance your muscles won’t grow. We need to exercise our faith muscle first and foremost.

We have to come to believe in our own ability to make the future what we want it to be. We have to believe in ourselves. We have to trust ourselves and know that we can handle anything thrown at us.

The only way for us to know that is to be tested. Why do you think marital arts do belt training tests. To demonstrate competency as they move along.

One master told me, you learn martial arts until you become a blackbelt. Then at blackbelt you truly are ready to learn martial arts. It is mindset, attitude and spirit. The only way you develop that is to commit to it and be challenged. If it were easy it wouldn’t be worth much.

As it is, all of it gets easier through time, testing, and more time. The more you have to self correct the faster you will learn. SOME get upset because they seem to be self correcting a lot.

BE GLAD because that means sooner you will get it because you are getting so much practice. You are getting the opportunity to repeat your good habits again and again through time.

Things come to them that wait. Wait with faith that you will make it happen. You are the captain of your fate and the master of your soul. Be the author of your life, be the director of your own life script. Take charge and decide no matter what you will see it through.

There is great power in making a decision. You will have to make it daily until it becomes habit. Commit. Everything does get easier. Along the way you do discover magic and things do seem to work out in mysterious ways. That doesn’t mean there will never be a challenge or a loss or a disappointment.

Read daily, fill your mind. Commit to doing whatever you can positively to make your life wonderful. Be thankful for where you are, the good and bad times. Be thankful for everything and your life will begin to change.

Stop comparing. Look to what you want and not at what you don’t want. What you wrote in your question shows what you are most aware of and paying attention to. That is natural.

It is about learning a new way that doesn’t come easy but will get easier. Yes, there is a price to pay to have what you want. Those who want to be top in sports, theater, the arts, finance, anything commit and do whatever it takes.

They dedicate themselves to becoming the best. They believe it and keep the faith come what may. Those who get to the top do so because they don’t lose sight of it. They know they will make it before they make it.

It is easiest to succeed when you begin by feeling successful.

This is the secret no one tells you. Feel successful first and success comes. Be successful and money comes. It is not the other way around but that is how most of us learn it. Get the money and then you are successful. NO NO NO NO NO!

Be successful and the money will come. The fame will come. The glory will come. It is attitude first and then all else follows. What you hold in your mind you will one day hold in your hand.

You get what you focus on. See your goals as already accomplished and feel the feelings of how good that feels and you will make them come true. Believe it first, see it, touch it, taste it and you will get it!

I DO believe in the Law Of Attraction but I don’t believe it is  as much about you attracting good things as it is about you learning how to make good things happen. You create more than attract. You make the future you want come into being by aligning like thoughts and feelings and actions. YOU do it. No one and nothing else does it!

Still it is true that birds of a feather flock together. Thoughts do. One negative thought and you can easily find more. One positive thought and you can find more. So I talk about the LOA so you are aware of what you are generating or paying attention to most of the time.

The important point to remember is that whatever you have been doing most, for most of your life, is what is already easiest for you. This is true of everyone.  If you want to change it you can. I have told you how numerous times in this post and others.

You just have to do it. Practice it. Spend time at it. Heck, if you want to be a better bowler, golfer, knitter, cook, driver, banker, piano player you need to spend the requisite amount of time to become proficient.

If you want to be the best you have to go beyond what anyone else would normally do. So be reasonable and realistic. Understand it will take time. Not forever, but it will take time.

Sometimes things get worse before they get better because you are shaking up the system and entering uncharted territory. You can be waking up old patterns or fears. No worries you will get though them. Stay the course. Drop by drop fills the tub.

Most of all love yourself. Appreciate yourself stuck or not. Failure or success. LOVE you! Appreciate you. Be glad you experience everything you experience. Celebrate and appreciate. Delight and enjoy! Love and lavish positive regard on yourself and others.

That helps take the sting out of it too. When you can accept where you are and keep moving forward without digging the plant up and checking on it  every few moments you are progressing.

Your car is a great analogy. You have a gigantic windshield (windscreen) and a tiny rearview mirror. You move forward by looking forward. Only occasionally do you glance behind you. So keep looking ahead at where you are and where you want to be.

You occasionally glance at the dash panel to notice if any emergency or alert buttons are on. Most of the time you keep your attention on the sights in front of and around you as you move towards where you want to go.

My guess is you desire to make it work. Am I correct? You will. Keep the faith. Keep doing it. Some day at some time you will begin to surprise and delight yourself. You will have those ‘ahas’ and insights.

Yes, there will still be obstacles. Be thankful.  Allow whatever is going on to go on without taking it personally. Take responsibility for making your life grand and you will. Just stick with it and do not quit.

This is an excellent opportunity to prove to yourself you have what it takes. If you screw up one hundred more times SO WHAT! We all do until we don’t! Mistakes are all part of learning.

Falling down is part of walking. Staying down isn’t. Get up and go on. Shift your focus to what you want.

You know already what you do not want so turn your attention to what you want. You said you tried all my techniques for a month and nothing has worked.

You said you have tried small and large steps and have lost faith. Currently, things aren’t as good as you’d like them to be.

I have responded at length and here is my reply in wrap up. Stay with it. Nothing has worked, yet. This work takes time. Please, be patient. Keep doing. Even when you don’t feel like it. Do it.

Read, listen, visualize, affirm. Steer back to the positive whenever you notice yourself less than glorious. Accept that there will be times when nothing seems to work or when it appears hopeless.

It isn’t and things are working. Sometimes it IS darkest before the dawn.

Don’t substitute doing the actual work for looking for an answer. I did that. You have everything within in you that you need to succeed. Find it! It is there.

Spend time relaxed visualizing what you want. Enthusiastically chant your affirmations.

Ask potent powerful questions that lead you to where you want to be. Repeat and do over and over and over again. Manage your self talk and internal imagery. K

Stop worrying and start living. Celebrate. Find everything you can to be grateful for and savor these. Keep your focus positive. Keep in mind we become what we think about most often.

ULTIMATELY you will notice the difference and you will enjoy the difference as you persist and stick with it.

Commit to yourself! Don’t give up. Yes, it may be tough, but so what. At other times it will be easier too. You can do this and you can be the master of your fate. You can make your dreams come true. The very fact that you want to is an indication that you can and you will.

Let go of how long it takes and commit to the haul no matter the time frame. Keep doing the little things consistently. A month is a short time given the years you have.

It takes a long time for the baby to become a toddler, the toddler a child, the child an adolescent, the adolescent a teen and then young adult and then adult. Growing and developing takes time. Maturity takes time and experience.

You will progress. Stay in touch! Stay on top of your own personal change. Find ways to make it fun. Find support and positive people around you. Get coaching or a mentor in person or online. Keep the faith and keep the practice.

Find a church or temple or synagogue or a science of the mind gathering. Find some happy meditators to hang with. Commune and find positive energy people who can encourage you. Find people who inspire and motivate you.

You can and will absolute prevail if you will persist. Believe it. Make it your mantra and keep on going. Believe in yourself!” Rex Sikes

Fill today with fascination!

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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How To Stop Resentments & End Suffering

horizon purple flowers

“Have you carried a grudge or resentment about someone long after the reason for those feelings occurred? Have you carried around in yourself guilt, or shame or disappointment for something you may have done in your past? Many people do.

They live life looking backward at pain, hurt and injustice whether it is their own or in relation to someone else. Wherever they go they carry hurt with them as old baggage. Do you ever get hot under the collar because people you know, or even strangers, don’t follow the rules or do things you disagree with? 

What Load Have You Carried

Time for a story.

Two monks approached a river. On the banks stood a lovely and solitary woman attempting to cross. She was frightened. One monk picks up the woman and allows her to ride on his shoulders as he made his way across the waters. On the shore, at the other side, he set her down and he continued on his way.

His companion, the other monk, grew angry. He walked with him in silence getting madder and madder. Many miles later they reached the monastery. Now, this angry monk exclaimed, ‘You know I must report you! What you did is prohibited. It goes against all our rules. The Master must hear about this!’

The first monk replied, ‘What on earth are you talking about?’

‘I cannot believe you touched that woman. You know our religion forbids it. You not only touched her you carried her. You broke our rules and I have no choice but to report you to the master!’

The offending monk laughed and replied, ‘Oh, yes, I carried her but I left her at the river many miles ago. Are you still carrying her?’

What Are You Still Carrying

Often what we see in others are our projections. We put onto them what we ourselves repress. We reject them or get angry about their behaviors when really it is us who should reflect and see what is going on within us. The other person is only a mirror.

If you are upset about what another person does; family member, friend, co-worker or stranger look within and seek to discover why it bothers you. Don’t just stop at the reason, keep looking and see if there isn’t something you could or should let go of.

Two monks but only one is bothered.

One monk walks getting hotter and hotter. The other just walks.

There is turmoil in the angry monk because of his understanding of the rules, his beliefs, what he does or doesn’t do, what he thinks others should do. What he believes is right. Many conflicts and many thoughts. Much passion and suffering.

What Can You Let Go Of

The only one suffering is the angry monk. It is what he is doing on the inside that causes the heat and the pain. Do you feel he is justified? Maybe, he is angry with good reason? Do you feel the first monk understands it better? Is one freer than the other?

If you feel the heat around what others do look within at what you can let go of that causes you to suffer. Understand it, learn from it and drop it. Take the lesson and then move on. Why needlessly suffer? Why not learn, let go and be free?

Don’t muck up your present with issues and grievances from the past.

Learn to drop those thoughts, feelings and experiences from your past when you got angry or are disappointed with yourself. There is no reason to carry resentment toward you or anyone else.

Stop Judging And Start Living

Whether aimed at yourself or another let them go. Drop them. They aren’t hurting anyone except yourself.  Stop making anyone wrong. Learn from them and leave them.  Turn your attention away from the grievance. Put your attention on finding wonderful things! Live free!

Look to what you can find that makes you feel good. If it isn’t obvious right away, keep looking. Look to the thoughts and behaviors you appreciate. Look for what you can celebrate. Find the best within you! Count your blessings. Remember the good times. Focus on what uplifts!

Find the best within others! I repeat: Find the best within others. Look for the finest in those around you. Recognize it, emphasize it and acknowledge it. Do this for them AND for you and your life will change for the better! Focus on what you want life to be!

Live with gratitude. Live counting your blessings and feeling truly blessed in all ways. Life is too short to live feeling angry, resentful, hostile, or sad, worrisome and fearful. Live with confidence, live with joy, live in delight! Stop judging and start living!” Rex Sikes

Live in delight today!

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so.

PSS  A great practice is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

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COMING VERY SOON –  Daily Inspiration And Gratitude’s new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this and new content will be at new site. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. You will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. Please stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

 

How To Be Happy & Live The Life You Choose!

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“Have you ever noticed some people just seem to want to rain on your parade? They can’t help but share the bad news and their bad news with you. Sometimes, it isn’t even another person who rains on your parade, have you noticed that? Sometimes that other person is you? Sometimes we bring ourselves down. That sucks, don’t you think?

Some people believe you can’t be happy all the time. Some people claim positive thinking doesn’t work. They imagine it all to be a big waste of time.  Some people get bent out of shape with the Law Of Attraction. They don’t believe it is a real law. They think all this is fluffy, unscientific,  mumbo jumbo. They are skeptical to say the least.

So let’s pretend for a moment.

Let’s pretend the Law Of Attraction is crap. It doesn’t work and it doesn’t exist. There is no such thing. Let’s further pretend there is no known reason for thinking positive. Positive thinking doesn’t work. Okay, can you consider that for a second? Good.

Let me ask you this: when you feel on top of the world and everything is going fantastic WHAT ARE YOU thinking?

What Are You Thinking 

If you have to, take your time and relive an experience. Do whatever you need to do to track back and find out the answer. Explore and examine for a few moments. Then, let me ask you this. When you are on top of the world, feeling incredible and everything is going well…

Are you thinking negative, weak, crappy thoughts? Are you filled with fear, doubt, worry and anxiety? Are you depressed, frustrated or angry? Are you feeling hatred towards others in that moment or envy or jealousy?

What exactly do you think and feel when things are going great?

Okay? Any answers?

I can bet the thoughts and feelings that you have going on then are a whole lot different from the kind I just mentioned. Would I be correct in making that assumption with you?

What Are You Saying To Yourself

You probably are thinking things like, ‘Wow, this is incredible!’ or “I feel fantastic!’ or you are so caught up in feeling great you aren’t even aware of what you are thinking. BUT you are thinking! My guess is you feel lighter and brighter! I bet things appear brighter too.

Or are you saying ‘ho hum, life is okay’.

My guess is your thoughts are wildly optimistic and positive when you feel at your finest. When everything is working together for good and you are enjoying life your thoughts are in line with that.

I’ll bet that when you get a piece of good news you think something along the lines of ‘oh boy!’ and not ‘oh no’. Isn’t that right?

For as long as you are on top of the world I’ll bet you are thinking great thoughts!

Yes, you might eventually think things like ‘hope nothing ruins this’, or ‘something is bound to screw this up’. Some less than glorious thoughts might begin to intrude.

Tell me, do you feel as great thinking those thoughts? What happens to your feelings of happiness and confidence when less than glorious thoughts begin to intrude? When one does, what happens? Do you dismiss it and go on feeling incredible or do you find another similar thought and begin to feel less than glorious too?

If you begin to worry that your joy will disappear what thoughts do you think are driving that? Could you list them? You may be able to or not. The point is you feel great and you think certain thoughts.

When you think other thoughts you feel a different way. You are aware of this, are you not?

Okay onto Law Of Attraction.

The Law Of Attraction – Like Attracts Like

Let’s pretend it doesn’t work. No matter what you do or think you don’t attract better thoughts. Although scientifically we know that we do attract other similar thoughts whether positive or negative. This we do know for certain.

You don’t attract people or events or circumstances. Let’s pretend that no matter what.  What will be will be. Que sera sera.

If as pointed out above; you felt better thinking positive thoughts doesn’t it THEN make sense to do it even if nothing change. Doesn’t it make sense to think positive if nothing changes at all for the better but your own feelings? Well? Doesn’t it make sense?

If you feel better, more positive, more optimistic, more joyful, more capable, more confident isn’t that better than any other alternative? Isn’t it? Some will say ‘but you have to be realistic’. I say, ‘who says’. According to whom? Why should I feel down just to be someone, whomever that is, claims one should be realistic?

It All Comes Down To What You Choose

AND…  How is feeling good not realistic? We have odd beliefs that we live from if we think we should feel bad just because that is the ‘right’ thing to do. I say feel your finest whenever you can.

Celebrate everything. Be thankful, be joyful, be inspiring to others. Let your light shine and enjoy the radiance. For no reason at all! You aren’t trying to get anything. You are just living your life to the fullest.

Do you imagine that by feeling filled with boundless joy and energy, confidence and delight that you might be able to do things you never did before? I certainly think so. Don’t you?

Don’t you think if your life is spent living at the top of your world that you might be able to focus and make happen anything you want? Because you feel great and you believe in yourself you are more apt to make things happen. You feel confident, competent and capable so you pursue your dreams and passions.

When everything all works together it all works! Isn’t that worth thinking the best you can? So what if it is all crap and not true? What does any of that have to do with you and your life? Live to the utmost. Enjoy each second. Enjoy the life you wish you had!

Live Fully And Make The Most Of Every Situation

Make the most of every situation. Go beyond any limitation and create the you, the career, the lifestyle you want to have. Feel good most of the time just because it feels better than feeling down and out. Actually, isn’t that what it is all about, feeling wonderful?

There are people with absolutely nothing who may be happier and mentally healthier than you and I. What does that tell us? It isn’t what we have that makes the difference. Unless of course you believe that. Possessions aren’t the most important, are they?

It is you! Your attitude and your willingness to become fully alive and celebrate life that makes the critical difference. Be happy. Because after all is said and done: Happiness is a choice! Make the wisest choice and chose the very best for yourself!” Rex Sikes

Live with passion and delight fully today!

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so.

PSS  A great practice is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

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COMING VERY SOON –  Daily Inspiration And Gratitude’s new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this and new content will be at new site. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. You will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. Please stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

How To Become More Aware, Stop Suffering & Start Living!

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“Do you battle inside yourself? Maybe often? Do you feel conflicted? You want something but feel you shouldn’t have it. You don’t do something but feel you should have. Isn’t that true? Would it be accurate to say, at times, you want to escape the turmoil inside?

You want to rid yourself of certain thoughts or feelings that cause discomfort or pain?

Everyone has some at times. We encounter ourselves. We experience anger when we promise ourselves we wouldn’t get mad. We have regrets we know we should move past or we fear the future when we know we need not. Is this you at times?

I certainly have felt this way.

A Zen Koan: The Warrior And The Master

A great warrior, a Samurai Warrior, approached a Zen Master and asked, ‘Where is the gate to heaven? Where is the gate to hell? Are there any gates? Where do I enter from?’

The warrior was a man of simple understanding. He knew life and death. He understood battle. He did not know or care about philosophy or wanting to learn another way. He simply wanted to avoid hell and go to heaven.

‘Who are you?’ the Master asked.

‘I am a Samurai! I am the leader of the Samurai! The emperor pays respects to me.’

‘You!’ exclaimed the Master. ‘You look like a beggar!’ He laughed.

The Samurai drew his sword to kill the Master.  Just as he drew the Master to him the Master spoke.

‘This is the gate to hell. This anger, this sword, your ego opens the gate to hell.’

The Samurai understood and immediately sheathed his sword.

The Master spoke again, ‘Here opens the gate to heaven’.

Heaven And Hell Are Within You

The mind, your mind, has the capacity for heaven or for hell. Heaven and hell are within us right now. The doors open by the choices we make. What we focus on is what we get. What we entertain and think about most is what we become.

What do you spend most of your time dwelling on? Is it positive and healthy or negative and less than glorious? Which gateway do you find yourself going through most often?

The Warrior was smart enough to recognize this and simple enough to not rationalize. In an instant you can move from heaven to hell or from hell to heaven. Our choice makes the difference. Our decisions govern where we end up. Where do you?

Heaven and hell isn’t a future place at the end of life. It is our moment to moment experience. We choose where we will land. We choose what we experience. We choose the gate we go through EVEN when we are not conscious of making that choice!

Awareness Is The Key To Making The Change

The moment the Samurai became aware that he was reacting to an insult was his opportunity to leave the gate of hell. The insult made him hot and angry. It bruised his ego. He suffered from it. He was prepared to take a life because of it.

The instant he realized the pain put him at the gate of hell he stopped! He put away his sword. He put away his hurt and his anger. He made a choice. He responded differently. He became new!

Thus, opened to him the gate to heaven. He no longer reacted out of habit. He made a change. He became aware that he could decide. He understood! His decision in that moment made all the difference!

Both Gates Are Inside You – Choose 

Choose the one you want to go through. Choose the one you want to spend time in. Where you put your attention is where your energy flows. Make the decision to live positive. It is a powerful choice. Put your awareness there. You become what you think about!

Napoleon Hill stated, ‘Any idea, plan or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.’ We can replace old, tired, negative thoughts, feelings and habits with new ones. ANY idea, plan or purpose can be placed in the mind! Make your mind work for you!

Great masters, educators, philosophers, trainers, and texts new and old, have said the same for centuries. We can replace old behaviors with new. We can make new choices that help us live better. We can live from a powerful, positive place of well-being.

Life Is What You Make It Already – What Do You Want It To Be

We can make new habits by repeating the new thoughts and feelings often each day throughout the weeks to come. Awareness is the key that opens us up to recognize which gate we are at. We need not remain a victim to our reactions and prior conditioning.

Whenever we realize which gate we are at we can choose whether or not to go through it. Whichever we choose accept responsibility for the choice and the consequences. Whenever we realize we are at the gate of hell we can choose not to go there. It is up to you!

You may stumble many times. Eventually, you will go there less and less. Through making the choice to stop and not go through the gate of hell you are doing something of great importance.

In the instant you choose to enter the gate of heaven (and do so repeatedly) you will learn the new habit. It will get easier and easier to make better choices. You will become aware more and suffer less.

You can make new and healthier choices. You literally can be, do and have anything you want when you put our mind to work for it in the right way.” Rex Sikes

Live more fully today!

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so.

PSS  A great practice is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

NEWS     SOON     NEWS     SOON     NEWS     SOON     NEWS

COMING VERY SOON –  Daily Inspiration And Gratitude’s new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this and new content will be at new site. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. You will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. Please stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Stop Spinning Your Wheels! Do This & Powerfully Change Your Life!

horizon blue cloud red sky water

“Why do we believe as we do? Why do we believe what others have told us? Why don’t we become aware of being great? Why not consider yourself a powerful creator? Why not realize fully your potential for health, wealth and well-being?

Why not become all the attributes you admire? Why not have everything you want? It is just as easy to have all these qualities as it is to have their opposites.

Realize it is just as easy to be rich as it is poor. It is just as easy to be positive as it is to be negative. So how come you aren’t already? The answer most likely is you don’t believe it to be the case. You simply don’t believe these things, yet.

You have been told it is difficult, that it is hard work and that few succeed. You may have been told you don’t deserve it or that only a few do. Whatever you have been told shapes your perceptions of the world.

Beliefs Are Thoughts We Repeatedly Think

Beliefs are thoughts we repeatedly think. Much of what we believe came from other people growing up. It came from our parents, educators and peers. Most of our beliefs aren’t actually our own because they came from elsewhere.

What you believe is what you will see. What you hold in your mind is what you hold in your hand. What you focus on you become and you get. SO – WHY continue to believe things others told you? Why live the way they think you should?

Don’t you think it is time YOU decide which beliefs you want to have? Choose those that serve you positively and powerfully and drop the limiting ones like dead wait.  Let go of the limiting beliefs and chose new powerful ones that get you what you want and where you want to go.

Get free of limitations and move into a wonderful new way of being and experiencing life whereby you make happen what you want to have happen.

It Is Just As Easy To Be Positive As Negative

It is just as easy to be positive as negative. It is just as easy to be rich as it is to be poor. If ever you are going to make a positive change for yourself it would seem this is one you should absolutely make. So what stops you? Careful now, your answer is from that set of beliefs you already adopted.

If you give an excuse or a reason as to why you can’t you have already decided that you won’t. You have to turn from the old limiting beliefs and choose new ones. You need to drop the old ones and chose new ones!

Then repeat the new ones over and over with enthusiasm. Use great feeling and emotion until these become your new beliefs. As you do this you will get the results your want. Once you believe the new beliefs you will begin to make your desires and dreams come true. You will transform your life.

If you don’t do it your not likely to get any of the results you claim to want. Make it a point to do it until you succeed. This is the attitude you need to have!

Stop Focusing On What Is Wrong

You don’t need to go into your mind and analyze what is wrong. You don’t need to sift through your history of crap to try to feel better. You may have been told that you need to but you don’t. You will find plenty to feel poorly about because like attracts like.

Once you go looking for what is wrong it is just like digging a hole. You always find more dirt. It is only a another belief anyway that mucking around would be useful.

Stop focusing on what is wrong and why it is that way. Let it all go. You never change your beliefs by examining the old or by fighting them. ‘You don’t put new wine into old wineskins’. You just drop the old and walk away. You resolve to head in a new direction.

Shed the old limiting beliefs. Allow them to drop. Let them go. Turn your attention to something nicer, better, more powerful and more positive. Stop focusing on what you don’t want and don’t like and begin focus on what you do want and do like.

Ignore any call from the old beliefs. Simply do not answer. They are like cat calls as you walk by. Ignore them. Look to those things that are so wonderful that they capture your attention completely. Become captivated with being the new you.

You don’t need to fight anything, because what you fight and resist persists. You cause it to become stronger and bigger by trying to eliminate it. What you put energy into grows.

Start Focusing On What Is Right

What is ABSOLUTELY needed is to go looking around for all that is right with you. Everything about you that works perfectly. Find everything that is positive and powerful. Whatever it is, however small it may be, look for it. Remember, like will find like.

Look for all the good stuff. Your, talents, abilities, qualities, times you helped another person or an animal. ANYTHING. Keep looking. Value all that is wonderful about you. Find these, appreciate these, value these, focus on these. Do this again and again over and over. What you focus on is what you get and become.

Imagine yourself as the powerful creator you truly are. The fact is you have been creating everything, already, all along. It is time to own up and face that you are already 100% responsible for what you have or don’t have in life. No excuses, no blaming.  That is the old way.

Perhaps, up until this moment you have been creating what you didn’t want. STOP IT! Turn away from the old way. Use good taste and create what you DO want instead. Now is the time.

Imagine Everything As You Want It To Be

In the mental movie theater of your mind see yourself and the life as you want it. Imagine it fully, vividly as though you are already living it. Make it so wonderful nothing could distract you. See, hear and really feel what it is like to be living in this way. Feel what it is like to already be and have that. It is now already yours.

This is a process. It takes some time.  Be patient.  You will bring it about if you stay with it. Be positive create what you want. Use your mental movies, your self talk and your feelings to guide you.

You have been using affirmations all along too. You have been asserting how things are in your world. Yes, things may have been less than glorious and by your statements and attention you have been affirming this. You have been creating what you did not want too! Okay, that was how you did things in the past.

Decide NOW to turn around and create only what you do want. Only speak what you DO want. Only notice what you do want. Evidence will follow in time. It does not precede. People use excuses such as ‘I’ll believe it when I see it’. They want the evidence first.

IT does not work this way. Believe it and you will eventually see it. What we hold in our head we will someday hold in our hand.

As you change your limiting borrowed beliefs into powerful, positive, personal ones you will begin to see the changes take place. It starts inside, it starts with a thought, it begins with what we believe. What we think about we bring about! Create all the goodness and all the wonderful things you desire. Begin today!” Rex Sikes

Live more fully today!

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so.

PSS  A great practice is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

NEWS     SOON     NEWS     SOON     NEWS     SOON     NEWS

*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  COMING VERY SOON –  Daily Inspiration And Gratitude’s new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this and new content will be at new site. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. You will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. Please stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Who Else Knows This SureFire Way To Getting Everything You Want?

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“Do you know how to get what you want? Are you able to consistently? Would you like to know how? If so you will want to consider the following questions:  How much time do you spend on your personal happiness? How devoted are you to feeling good?  How devoted are you to making your career and life goals come to be?

Are you aware that how you spend your time matters; what you spend your time focused on matters; what you do during that time matters? Do you spend your time wisely?

The amount of time you spends devoted to your personal happiness and your personal and professional goals makes a difference at how easily attainable these are. How you spend your time IS a critical factor. Consider the following:

Are You Growing Or Dying

A plant is either growing or dying. It is either eating or starving. Are you feeding and growing or starving and dying? You can actually evaluate this each moment of each day. Where you spend your time is where you are at?

All you have to do is ask throughout the day, ‘Am I growing or dying?’ ‘Will doing this contribute to me growing or dying?’ Evaluate how you spend your time and what you spend it doing. Are you thriving or withering? Does it contribute to what you want or detract from it? Will it get your closer or take you further away?

If you are spending most of your thinking positive and feeling positive you are moving in the right direction. If you are growing more often than dying that is a good thing. That is what you want. The next ingredient is the kicker that makes it all work better and faster. Intensity. The ability to feel intensely good is important!

FEEL GOOD NOW! You want to feel AS GOOD as you can feel for AS MUCH of your time as possible. You want your day and night to be spent enjoying the very best feelings you are capable of.

Feeling Good In The Present Moment Is What Makes It All Work

When you feel great, when you feel passionate and enthused, when you are eager and are filled with energy you think clearer and are able to keep going longer. Your passions make you powerful.

You may think, ‘Well, if I could feel good I would.’ This is where taking charge comes in. You will never think and feel your best if you expect the outer world to make you happy or better. It just doesn’t work that way.  How you feel better is by taking control, even when you don’t feel like it.

To feel better you must learn how to control your thoughts and feelings! It is true we may all have bad days. We do! Some times in our life are more difficult than others. Accept that.

Still, much of the time, the reason the day sucks is NOT the outer circumstances (though they may be horrendous) as much as our reaction to them. Our thinking contributes to whatever the day will be like. Whether we react automatically or respond with measured control makes a difference.

You Can Learn To Control Your Thoughts And Feelings

When you learn to control your thoughts you absolutely can have higher highs and higher lows. Since you learn how to control your thoughts and feelings you aren’t a victim of them.

If there is a legitimate reason to feel less than glorious, grief at a loss for instance, you can and should allow that process to unfold. When the timing is right you move forward again.

This is the reason why we fill our mind with positive thoughts. It is why we read and listen to inspiring materials. It is why we visualize our goals as completed and feel the feelings of that accomplishment. It is why we monitor our self-talk to insure it is positive.

It is why we affirm out loud and passionately who we are and what we are capable of. It is so we learn to have and to take control of these processes. It is a system of self management. You put yourself in the driver’s seat 100% and take responsibility for whatever happens good or bad.

Take 100% Responsibility And You Will Make Life Wonderful

You take responsibility for managing your thoughts and feelings and steering yourself in the most positive and productive ways. You celebrate whatever life hands you, even if you don’t know how things will work out, and you look for everything to be thankful and grateful for.

You do whatever you can do to make yourself feel even a little bit better each day.You can ask, am I growing or am I dying? Each moment, whenever you notice you are not feeling great, you do what you can to feel better. Read something inspirational or chant your affirmations firmly and enthusiastically! Take a break, a walk, get some exercise.

Generate some positive physical energy by moving your body and your mind in positive ways. The more energy you put into it the more you get from it. Think better and your body responds. Move your body on positive ways and your thinking responds. Mind and body are part of the same feedback loop or system.

Body And Mind Are Part Of The Same Feedback System

Too many people feel just ‘okay’. They robotically move from day to day doing the same routines, accepting that is how it is supposed to be and there  isn’t much to look forward to. They put all their hope in things outside themselves to rescue them from this existence. You know, you work hard, pay taxes and die. It is sad, really.

Life IS vibrant and alive. There is more energy in a empty inch of space than in all the worlds power sources. There is plenty to go around. You are alive! All of your millions of cells are alive and vibrating. Experience it because you can! You can tap into it and enjoy it!

In order to put the ‘oomph’ into your positive thoughts you have to intensely feel good while thinking them, The more intense you feel while affirming or visualizing (or simply in daily life) the more the subconscious mind gets the message. It reproduces that which we give to it through powerful feelings. Feelings are the message!

This is how people limit themselves. The feel strongly afraid, or hurt or depressed, or doubtful and the subconscious mind takes that as the message and ends up giving them back more of the same. Whatever you focus on, concentrate on, think about, most of the time is what you get and what you become.

You see it is always working. You can’t stop it! You cannot stop it but you can change the outcome. You can’t stop it but you can direct it! You can’t stop it but you can steer it to get different results. Since you can’t stop it learn to use it. Take charge! Gain control. Be the victor not the victim of the process.

Zest For Life Makes Life Worth Living

Successful people tend to be passionate, intense, people. Their emotions are powerful. You can feel their energy when you are around them. Creative energy is intense. People who are passionate are intense! They know they must be laser focused and at the top of their game. They live at the top of the world!

People who make money are intense. Think, Wolf of Wall Street. However, I am not advocating licentiousness. Still, these people are not half assed, namby-pamby, wishy washy, ‘oh well, ho hum’ people. They live to their fullest. They understand this is important.  When you live with passion, when you fill yourself up with positive feelings and energy you become unstoppable!

How you think determines how you feel and how you feel determines how you think. You can begin by thinking or you can begin by feeling. Head first or body first. Are you growing or are you dying? Put energy into you thoughts and feelings. Put energy into your actions! Live to your fullest.

A great way is to begin with gratitude. Look around at what you are so happy to have in your life, people, relationships, what you are able to do, health, career, wealth, things whatever makes you truly appreciate and happy can start you feeling good. Take a moment to actually feel how these make you feel!

You Can’t Stop It So Make It What You Want It To Be

Some times you have to ‘prime the pump,’ as Zig Ziglar used to say, to overcome inertia. You have to pour some water down into the pump to get the flow going. Energy flows where attention goes.

Feel it! Savor it! Feel it some more! Savor it some more! Keep with it. Let it grow. Allow yourself to be consumed with gratitude and celebration! Live happily. Live intensely! Live passionately! Have fun!

If you want to feel better think better. If you want to think better put  a spring in your step. Shake up your body, dance, skip, twirl. Stand and move with confidence, energy and liveliness. Move your body vigorously! Have fun! Feel more alive!

The more you feel the good feelings right now the more changes you will discover. Positive changes! The more you will transform your life into something more incredible. When you do this you can and you will surprise and delight yourself.

Live passionately! Celebrate and enjoy! Shake it up positively and you will discover yourself moving into new areas of joy that are beyond anything you could presently imagine!” Rex Sikes

Delight in this day!

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so.

PSS  A great practice is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  COMING VERY SOON –  Daily Inspiration And Gratitude’s new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this and new content will be at new site. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. You will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. Please stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Get Back Up When You Fall Down! Never Stay Down!

horizon blue snow orange sky

“Have you ever attempted to change something and faltered? What did you do? Did you keep going until it worked or did you give up? A lot of people give up. They try something and if it doesn’t work they quit.

They try to stop smoking, or diet, or exercise and then they smoke after days, or weeks or months of not smoking and they throw in the towel and go back to smoking. They eat something they shouldn’t and they fall off their diet.

They miss an exercise session and then another and another and soon they aren’t exercising at all.  Some have tried positive thinking or working with the Law Of Attraction (LOA) and then state, ‘I tried, but it didn’t work.’ So they quit.

It Is A Process! It Is Not Binary!

Have you ever done this? I sure have. These people, as I used to, think it has to be all or nothing. Either you are on task or you aren’t. If it is tough and requires too much effort, well, that too may be enough reason to quit. Many don’t want to work that hard for success.

People who give up after a falter need to reframe the meaning of failure or falling off the wagon. Obstacles, mishaps, falling down are all part of moving forward. If you succeeded at all for a little while, thinking right, eating right, exercising, not smoking, biting nails or whatever, then you have had success.

Success will breed more success you just have to let it. If you have had some success you can have more success you just need to stick with it. Take it moment by moment, day by day or step by step. If you fall down it means you get back up, dust yourself off and get doing it again.

The old adage is’get back on the horse.’ I used to have this very problem. I would succeed at something, then ooops, and I thought, ‘well that didn’t work’ and I’d quit. I’d give up. I tried and IT didn’t work. Later, I realized it was fine I didn’t work. In order for IT to work I had to make it work.

Get Back On The Horse

I determined in my own mind that if I screwed up I would still continue. I had come to the awareness that one screw up didn’t mean the whole program didn’t work. It did work! It worked and sometimes I might still make a mistake or a mis-step. I might fall down.

If I quit, fell down, fell off, or whatever, I simply resume. It took becoming aware that we are (I was and I am)  in a process. We aren’t done yet. Nothing is completed. As long as we are moving forward we can move forward past difficulties, issues and those times we screw up or feel like abandoning the program. We can continue!

These awarenesses came first. It’s okay to fall down. Success wan’t ended because of a failure. Success was ongoing as long as I kept going. Once I came to these realizations I decided I was not a quitter. The ONLY time you fail is when you give up, give in or quit.

Failure Only Occurs When You Stop Trying

Failure happens when you stop trying. As long as you are trying you aren’t failing! The only time I failed was when I gave up trying.

As long as I was, and am, someone who continues to attempt it then I am succeeding in some way. If I am succeeding in some way then I remain motivated to continue. Now I refuse to throw out the baby with the bathwater. So keep going. Keep doing! Keep making it happen inch by inch!

Keep in mind, ‘Winners never quit and quitters never win’.  You have to keep going in spite of falling down so that you can make it a new habit. A new habit will form and eventually take over and the hard work will end. You just have to hang in there, and keep doing what you are doing, long enough. Repetition over time is what causes habit to form.

The More We Do The More We Are Able To Do

Some people have the habit of quitting as soon as it gets tough. Some people throw in the towel after one or two attempts that don’t work out. Some quite after slipping up one or more times. If you are one of those, stop it. Stick with it. Keep going. It is a process and you will get there as long as you keep going. You absolutely won’t if you throw in the towel.

Anything worth doing is difficult at first. The more we do the more we can do because we become accustomed to doing. We can’t lift a lot of weight the first time we work out but by working out consistently we can lift more weight. Stay with it. Keep on keeping on. You will win, you will prevail. Keep the faith and make the change!” Rex Sikes

Make your day delightful!

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so.

PSS  A great practice is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

NEWS     SOON     NEWS     SOON     NEWS     SOON     NEWS

*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  COMING VERY SOON –  Daily Inspiration And Gratitude’s new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this and new content will be at new site. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. You will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. Please stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

This Power Principe Can Determine If You Will Be Successful!

horizon where-my-heart-belongs-phil-koch

“I heard something the other day that I really like and wanted to pass along. For many decades now most of us are familiar with the principle from cybernetics (applied to computers) Garbage In Garbage Out (GIGO).

Using the computer analogy GIGO means if you write a garbage program you will get garbage results. In life, if you are mostly thinking garbage thoughts you will get garbage feelings and the results you get would be garbage. Why would anyone ever expect to get otherwise?

That is common sense, right? This is why the principle ‘you become and you get what you think about most’ makes so much sense. Whatever is predominant in your mind is what you get back. As Henry Ford said, If you think you can OR you think you can’t, you are right.’

Whatever we fill ourselves with is what we end up with. If we eat unhealthy junk food most of the time and we have no energy or are overweight or ill it should come as no surprise. Bad practices create bad habits which give us bad results. You are what you eat right?

If you smoke, drink to excess or engage in other unhealthy habits that are not good for you and you end up with health issues it should come as no surprise. Good practices create good habits which give us good results. We should be focused on good habits and what we want.

At one level we already know this. Still, we may need to be reminded often. We put the proper fuel in our cars. If we put any other substance in we don’t get very far and may ruin the engine. In order to work well we need to use the proper fuel. The proper fuel!

It just makes sense, doesn’t it? Everyday we need to do the right things. We need to repeat the correct things to get the results we want. Day by day. Moment to moment! Drop by drop we need to fill the tub with excellence in order to get excellence in return. Right?

If we fill ourselves with garbage thoughts and feelings it comes as no surprise that our lives reflect that and are filled with garbage or problems.  Garbage In Garbage Out. We get what we think about. Like attracts like. Birds of a feather flock together. It is all the same no matter how you say it. Bad practices get us bad results.

The notion I heard that I think is wonderful is NINO. Nourishment In Nourishment Out. If we focus on filling ourselves with the very best, the very finest, the most positive, powerful and wonderful nourishment we will get the finest nourishment back out. I love it! NINO!

When we nourish our thoughts and feelings positively we will get positive results in return. I like this because it directly reminds us what to do and what to focus on. It reminds us what we WANT to include rather than what we want to avoid. A major principle shared within all these blog pages IS focus on what you WANT!

It also balances everything out by providing both sides. It provides us something each of us can remember. It reminds us: Do NOT put Garbage In because we will get Garbage Out. Put Nourishment In because we will get Nourishment Out. GIGO and NINO.

Fill yourself daily with the right body and mind fuel. Nurture yourself and care for yourself. It pays off in both the short term and long term. Practice and implement successful career and life habits daily and you will get those results back. You may not notice the powerful effects right away but over the long haul you certainly will.

For example: If you start lifting weights and you never have before. You do a set of biceps curls. You may notice your bicep pumped a little due to increased blood flow. You may even feel the pain or discomfort the next day or two as changes in your muscle takes place. Other than that you may not notice much.

Keep doing it for 3 months or a year and you will notice an entirely new, larger shaped and cut bicep. Somethings just take time. Don’t rush it. Keep at it. Do what it takes to succeed at your career and in your life. Create healthy habits that nourish you and bring you increased happiness.

The results you want will be there if you continue. You won’t have a nice new strong bicep if you give up anywhere along the way. Stick with it and you will get the results. They can even surprise you! So Nourish yourself daily. This is how you use the Law Of Attraction to be, do and have anything you want in life. ” Rex Sikes

Delight in today and have some fun making good things happen!

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so.

PSS  A great practice is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

NEWS     SOON     NEWS     SOON     NEWS     SOON     NEWS

*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  COMING VERY SOON –  Daily Inspiration And Gratitude’s new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this and new content will be at new site. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. You will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. Please stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

What Should I Do When I Screw Up?

horizon footsteps in snow

“Have you ever let yourself down? You wanted to do one thing but did another? You made some progress in a given area only to fall back into old behaviors? Have you disappointed yourself? Has this ever happened to you?

A coaching client of mine came to me frustrated stating, ‘I struggle to stay positive. Sometimes I am able. Sometimes I succumb to less than glorious thoughts and feelings. I let myself down in my program. I am frustrated and feel bad. Sometimes things are great and sometimes all hell breaks loose. It shouldn’t. I disappoint myself. What to do?’

The following constituted my answer. Happily, by applying these insights this person got over many hurdles and has gone on to accomplish some really fantastic things in career and life.  You can do anything with the right mind set. Remember, all things work together for good!

Forgive yourself

Be gentle, be kind and be accepting. It is okay. All things are possible. You are on a journey. There is no expectation of perfection. Forgive yourself and continue on. When you fall get up.

The only thing that happened was that you fell. Don’t judge it. Don’t be critical because you fell. Be thankful you didn’t get very hurt. If you did nurture yourself and take care to heal.

If when you fell you hurt others. Get up. Own up. Apologize and make amends. Make good. Take responsibility. Look them in the eye and assure them it won’t happen again. Do your best to keep your promise. AND keep your promise!

None of what I am saying is about letting yourself off the hook if you did wrong. It is all about responsibility and taking care not to repeat. There are ways to do this that move you along further more swiftly and there are ways that keep you stuck and repeating mistakes.

I want to help you discover how you can more easily and readily change in the positive ways you desire.

Nothing Is Wrong In Falling Down

Nothing is wrong about failing to do what you hoped to as long as you stay with it. If you quit, if you throw in the towel and give up, then, yes, you failed. You stopped by your own choice.

If you are going to do that then forgive yourself. You made a decision. Accept it, own it, be responsible for your choices. It is entirely okay. That is what you decided. Give yourself some credit.

Do not blame or criticize yourself or others. If later, you decide to try again so be it. If not, so be it. Just accept that you have the power to decide. Decide to live without blame and criticism. Decide to live with love and light and life. Decide to celebrate everything.

Everyone Falls Down Sometime

So what? Get up and go on if that is what you chose to do. As long as you continue to assert yourself, as long as you attempt to continue you are learning and growing. You are a work in progress. Make many mistakes. That is fine. Attempt not to make the same mistakes more than once.

If you make the same one again and again keep working to change it. Realize you have some efforting to do and accept it. Focus on what you want instead of the mistake and gradually you will make it less and less. You need to develop some new habits and new ways.

Aim at what you want. Stop trying to avoid at what you don’t want. When you slip up for self and others do what has already been suggested. Make good. Don’t criticize yourself and move forward.

You are growing and evolving. Accept that wherever you are IS where you are. It is right where you should be given the choices you have made. All systems require correction. Your thermostat changes and corrects for temperature fluctuations. It gets feedback from environment and makes adjustments.

Use Changes As Feedback And Course Correct

So if you make a mistake, or you get off your chosen course you correct it. Don’t judge, correct and move forward. Don’t add insult to injury by criticizing yourself for being human. Being human means getting up and falling down and getting up again. Any negative commentary is unnecessary.

If you find yourself commenting in negative ways stop it when you become aware of it. Don’t go into a recursive loop of criticizing yourself for criticizing yourself. Many people do this and it is unfortunate. Stop blaming it does absolutely nothing of value.

Free yourself of this and go on. Love and accept everything about yourself and stop judging your progress. Don’t try to be further ahead. You will get there when you get there. Accept and continue to move forward. Comparisons can cause pain. There is no need to compare.

Step By Step You Get Closer To Your Destination

Bite by bite you get nearer to completing the meal. Drop by drop the tub is filled. You will get there. Don’t let mistakes, obstacles, challenges or influences bring you down. If they do, accept it and move on when ready. Ease up on yourself.

The sooner you keep going the easier it is. ‘Get back up on that horse!’ and keep on riding. Soon enough you will get the hang of it. We may always make mistakes, so what? We may always have difficulty, so what? Expect the best of yourself. Remain optimistic. Be positive and have faith. You can do it.

Accept That You Are Wonderful

Through it all we can learn to and have an incredible life. We can be filled with light and life and love. We can celebrate all and our joy can know no bounds. As you positively progress, as you become more aware, congratulate yourself for the positive changes.

Acknowledge, validate, celebrate and be thankful. Encouragement in the positive direction will help you move forward faster. Delight and live with more joy. Make this part of your purpose. Have fun.

It is all within each of us, the capacity to discover your true nature, your true power and your true gifts. You will find that you are absolutely worthy and deserving. No need to think otherwise. You are wonderful, accept it and enjoy it!” Rex Sikes

Discover what is good and new about today and have some fun!

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so.

PSS  A great practice is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS  

*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  COMING VERY SOON –  Daily Inspiration And Gratitude’s new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this and new content will be at new site. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. You will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. Please stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Do This Whenever You Feel Like Giving In, Giving Up or Quitting!

horizon sun rays clouds pathway

“Do you ever feel tired and want to throw in the towel? It seems like you have struggled for so long and your efforts just aren’t paying off. The days seem arduous and hardly worth it at times. You want to quit? Have you felt this way? It’s tough sometimes to smile and plod your way ahead. Sometimes you just want to give up, right!

Well, don’t!

Keep going!

Stop sniveling right there!

There are so many people who have faced incredible odds and who kept going and who persevered no matter what.  The problems, you and I face, what most of us face, while difficult yes, it isn’t a fraction of what others have  suffered through and triumphed over.

There is no failure if you keep going. There is only failure if you quit. Yes, you may feel like quitting a million times but hang in there. Tomorrow IS another day.

Sadly, we are so conditioned, growing up, expecting bad things and worse things that we often fail to realize that good things can also spontaneously, seemingly miraculously happen any instant. We don’t only have to be bothered by ‘bad news’ perhaps we could be plagued by good news.

Life IS what we make it. Expect good things and the best from yourself and you are much more apt to find these. Develop an indomitable spirit, cultivate a winning, champion attitude and a self confidence that moves you forward. Realize you can do! You can do anything you set your mind to do.

Or you can give up. I say, don’t quit!

Prevail! Be the victor!

Make what you want happen in spite of the challenges and obstacles. Stop focusing on what you don’t want, the hardship. Stop taking a bath in the crap. Get out, rinse off and get going forward.

What I used to think was, ‘if it could only be easier.’ I thought then everything would be great. I’d be happy and positive. Then I realized being happy and positive wasn’t only for the easy times it was to see me through the difficult times.

If I could be happy and positive when things weren’t going well then I had truly learned to live well.

Then I could be happier and positive more of the time. Then most of the time I could enjoy because my happiness and positivity wasn’t dependent on what was going on on the outside. If it were, then I would not have benefited much. I’d be a fair weather positive thinker, feeling good only when times were good.

The key is to learn to feel good no matter what the times are like.

It may be a difficult lesson to learn but it can be learned. The right attitude can see us through all sorts of times. We don’t have to be tired and defeated when times are hard we can be happy through them. Sure, we may feel like we want to quit. Don’t!

Instead, learn to transform those feelings into the means to take hold of your life and live as a champion. Live as a gladiator. Come through serious battle proud because it is a test of your mettle. Without challenge you wouldn’t be a victor. Without the troubles the good times wouldn’t mean much either.

You become what you think about most during your day.

What occupies your thoughts and feelings is what you get back. You create, attract or make happen what you enjoy most or fear most. The point is you are the chooser. You are the one who decides where to place your attention.

Use good taste.  Use good judgement. No more crap baths!

Focus on the positive, the ‘I can do anything’, the good, strong, powerful thoughts and feelings and keep your attention there. Magnify these, enjoy these, bask in these and you will get through tough times. You will transform your work,  your play and your life. You will make for yourself a life worth living! Celebrate It! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Notice something? It is an entirely new and different day! What is good and new about it?

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so.

PSS  A great practice is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS  

*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  COMING VERY SOON –  Daily Inspiration And Gratitude’s new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this and new content will be at new site. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. You will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. Please stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.