Category Archives: Emotions

Attitude, Beliefs, Celebration, Decision, Emotions, Expectations, Focus, Forgiveness, Getting Over The Past, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Happiness, Intentional Thinking, Mindset, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Success

What Holds You Back? What You Can Do About It

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Horizons staying-within-the-lines-phil-koch

“‘I appreciate the idea of staying positive. But I really struggle with the blind spot here. Children around the world are suffering and dying. They are not responsible for their situation.

This kind of “teaching” suggests there is some way those innocent children could have prevented the awful scenario we see played out in front of us. It’s not enough to turn the telly off and act like everything is ok. It’s not.

This teaching is about attaching to an idea and/or outcome, and that is the birthplace of suffering. Of course, in general terms, there is merit in being positive. Be happy.’ From Hugh

“Today, my blog post is my reply to this comment made yesterday. I included the comment above.  Of course, you can read it at the post page from yesterday too, along with others. Below is my answer, my opinion. My response.

Excellent points and questions. I am glad you raised them. Napoleon Hill stated he faced the very same concerns, deeply, when his son was born without ears or internal hearing apparatus.

No, no one is saying innocents are responsible for their condition. Life is what life is. In fact, until 7, 8,9 or 10, one could argue, children are mostly just programmed by adults, peers, and situations they grow up around and in.

What this teaching stresses is, if at some point, one is lucky enough to be exposed to it, one can learn to control their own thinking. A person can then work to overcome life circumstances and the conditioning they were brought up in.

Whether they do or not is up to them and no judgement should be made.

Some will yell that the underprivileged feel entitled and are lazy. That is not the case at all. Most people want to better themselves. And if there are some who do not that is their choice.

There are people at both ends of the wealth spectrum that benefit from entitlements. There are some wealthy who are lazy. No one is casting dispersion here, or at least I am not. Nor do I think the teaching does.

It could be said, if one wants to learn how to fish, this teaching will teach them. If some prefer to be fed, I have no problem with that. That is what charity and philanthropy and generosity and good will are all about.

Yes, there is suffering in the world. How one handles the suffering is an individual thing AND largely based on the life experiences and conditioning the person has had. I am no judge.

SO I cannot hold people accountable for their conditioning or their experiences or lack of them. If there is a creator, or divine intelligence, or whom or whatever, that is their domain not mine.

I can only share what I know. I know this. You can go through an experience thinking and feeling negative or thinking and feeling positive. One seems to work better than the other.

Positive thinking does not guarantee success, but makes it more likely than negative thinking. So for me, I choose to be positive. My life and world work better that way.

As for turning off television or turning a blind eye to troubles around the world I don’t think that is realistic. I don’t think being overly fixated on it serves anyone either.

With 24/7 news and bombardment in all media of negative messages AND really mostly ONLY negative messages, because that is what news is,

I say be enlightened and informed to local and world events. JUST don’t get caught up in the negativity.

Negativity is great for knowing what you don’t want or what you want to avoid or exclude. It informs you what you may want to leave behind.

Positivity tells you or informs you what you want to move toward, where you are going or headed, what you want to include or have more of.

Both are necessary. But we need one more than the other. IF you are being chased by a bear in the woods, let’s call this negative, you want to flee the bear, avoid it, leave it behind, not get eaten, and run to a safe place where you are safe and without fear or worry.

You must run with everything you have.

You can’t do that if you keep your eyes on the bear. You have to keep your focus on where you are running to, in front of you. You KNOW the bear is there but your focus is on safety.

The bear is a huge motivator to get there quickly.

In the same way, negativity informs us what we don’t want and can motivate us to get what we do want and more quickly if we use it.

Negative thoughts and feelings are part of life. Positive feelings are part of life too.

Where you spend most of your time determines the quality of your life. Two people born in poverty one exclaims, ‘that is it! I refuse to be poor ever again!’ and works to become rich.

The other says, ‘Wow cool, the rich life is for me! I want all that!’ and works to become rich.

Both are possible. My thought is spend most of your time being positive. It feels better, makes things easier and is more enjoyable.

To the extent you want to, evolve yourself, take control of your thinking and feeling, so you enjoy life more fully.

Help others, help make the world a better place. If you see a wrong, attempt to right it. Delight in and celebrate everything.

If there is a problem, examine it and then turn your attention toward a solution. We rarely accomplish anything by fighting hate with hate, violence with violence, anger with anger, racism with racism, poverty with poverty.

We need to focus on what we want to bring about and work to bring it about. We do that by maintaining our focus on what we want, what we want to include, what we want more of.

We continue to think positive and feel good because life is more enjoyable that way.

Still, it rains on the rich and the poor. Calamity and disaster and heartbreak visit both. How those are responded to and handled is up to the individual and no one, in my opinion, should fault any other human for how they handle difficulty.

Just always remember, night gives way to day, cold becomes warm, waves that have gone out return. This too shall pass. Life is cyclic.

In my world view, evolve yourself to be the best person you can be. Allow other to be who they are. Love lots and forgive much. Learn from adversity and less than desirable circumstances.

Our beliefs either support us and free us up to be, do and have anything we want or they constrain or limit us in some way. We need to learn to recognize when our own mindset is preventing us and change it if we so chose. We can if we believe we can.

If you have goals and dreams go after them, don’t wait. It is not likely others will get them and give them to you. You have to work for it yourself.

Learn to control your thoughts and feelings so you think the best and feel the best 80 or 90% of your time. Whether you have one life or multiple lives, right now is all you have right now!

Celebrate, delight and enjoy it for no reason other than – why not?

It is your life choose what you want to it to be and make it such. Have fun all along the way. Learn to not take things too seriously, relax, let go, play.

Suffering is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Both revolve around outcomes. OR neither have anything to do with circumstances.

Some people in the worst of circumstances are delightfully fulfilled and happy. Others have everything, it seems, yet suffer. Finding out how to best live our life is up to each of us.

My hope is that I have addressed the points and questions. I hope that you, I and others can learn to be grateful and celebrate more of what is available to us while we are here. Let us delight and enjoy it all!

Meanwhile, the best wishes, always in everything!” Rex Sikes

Today is your day!

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Acceptance, Affirmations, Beliefs, Celebration, Creating The Future, Emotions, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Intentional Thinking, Mindset, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Talk, Visualization

I Affirm Myself! What Do You Do? Yes, It Matters

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Horizons hope-is-never-lost-phil-koch

“I don’t want not having immediately be the basis for not having forever. I want to burn my ships and leave no way out but forward to success. I want to remain dedicated, passionate, faithful, convinced, expectant even when there is no evidence of progress. When it seems the tides are against me and nothing is working I want to remain true.

I want to intensify my desire for making my dreams come true while waiting. I want to make a little progress every day and never waver in knowing I will prevail. Even if I don’t succeed, as much as I want, I will have done so much more than if I do nothing to make it happen. Even if I miss the mark I made more progress during the journey.

I want my thoughts and my feelings to be aligned, congruent; my concentration, my focus, my energy, to be singular on my purpose. I want being and doing and having what I want to be dominant in my conscious and unconscious mind. I want to learn from each second how to be more positive, powerful, purposeful and accepting, allowing and receptive.

What You Say Is What You Get

I want to go after what I want fully. No way out. No excuses. No doubts or fears, but positive in every atom, ever cell, every fiber of my being. I want to believe in myself and discover that I am truly an emperor inside and out. I am a winner and a champion. I am a victor. I will never allow myself to be a victim of others, circumstances, events, or my own thinking.

I will be triumphant. I will win, conquer and evolve. I will succeed in ways currently beyond the limits of my imagination and discover myself delighted along the way.  I will celebrate and be grateful for everything always. Whatever IS is! I will look at the good within, and find it. I will celebrate because that IS what is in the moment.

What I can not yet see is all the unexpected good coming my way. Goodness comes to me. I always land on my feet. I always win even in ways I don’t completely understand. Adversity has always been my friend even when I didn’t embrace it. There is always something marvelous to find. Seek and you will find it. Knock and it will be opened. I do and it is! I will keep an open mind and an open heart.

 Affirm Yourself – Declare What Is – Make It Happen – And So It Is

I will ask, I will seek and I will continue to knock until I have the response from the universe I seek. I put in my order and I claim it. I wait for it as I do a meal in a cafe. Behind the scenes everything is being prepared. They are making a dish from my orders. They will deliver it. I only need to enjoy the time waiting. It is coming! It is mine!” Rex Sikes

Today is my day!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Act As If, Affirmations, Attitude, Autosuggestion, Beliefs, Confidence, Creating The Future, Definite Chief Purpose, Deliberate Creators, Emotions, Energy, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Intentional Thinking, Mental Movie Theater, Mindset, Persistence, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Talk, Trust, Visualization

Without This Your Chances For Success Are Slim

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Horizons 1 1-more-than-a-memory-phil-koch

“‘Five years passed before the chance he had been seeking made its appearance. During all those years, not one ray of hope, not one promise of attainment of his DESIRE, had been held out to him.’

‘To everyone except himself, he appeared to be only another cog in the Edison business wheel, but in his own mind HE WAS THE PARTNER OF EDISON EVERY MINUTE OF THE TIME from the very day that he first went to work there.’ Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich

Consider this. Would you hang in there for five years before the chance you seek makes its appearance? Hill says there was not a SINGLE ray of hope or promise held out to him that he would get what he wanted. For five years Barnes persisted. Would you?

In His Own Mind He Was Edison’s Partner

In order to make our dreams come true we may very well face circumstances such as these. That is why faith is the belief in things not seen. Not a single shred of evidence that he would get his goals was visible for him, yet, he persisted. He believed it would happen.

To everyone else he was just another worker BUT IN HIS OWN MIND he was a partner of Edison every minute of the time from the day he went to work there. In his mind he saw himself already possessing what he came for. He already claimed his future!

He was Edison’s partner in his mental movie theater. Outward reality differed, there was nothing to even indicate he would eventually succeed. Inside him his dream was alive. Hill said, he intensified his desire, as I pointed out previously. He saw and heard and felt himself already a partner with Edison. He lived it within.

This is what we must do. We must have such a powerful, positive, singular focus that we let  nothing detract us from our purpose or our goals. The outer circumstances must not deter us from what we want to accomplish. We need to have such a great desire and unshakable faith in ourself.

What You See Is What You Get

We make it happen by what we see and say to ourselves. We make it happen by our intense positive feelings. We make it happen because we believe it will and we keep the faith. We make it happen by doing whatever positive good it takes and by not giving up. This is what Barnes did day in and day out. 5 years with no indication of success.

As Hill points out again and again, ‘any dominating idea, plan or purpose held in the conscious mind through repetition of thought and emotionalized by a burning desire for its realization is taken over by the subconscious and acted upon through whatever natural and logical means may be available.’

Barnes knew his destiny. He knew it was only a matter of time. He was determined to wait it out. How we wait is important. It didn’t matter to him that he was waiting because on the inside he already realized his dream. It was just a matter of when the opportunity would present itself that he could take advantage.

Actively Focus On Your Dreams And Goals 

As we shall later see in an upcoming post. ‘A mind alerted by definiteness of purpose recognizes opportunities and inspires the courage necessary to seize upon such opportunities when they are presented.’ In time an opportunity arose that Barnes could act on in order to achieve his purpose.

Would you have the mindset, the confidence and the will power to pursue your dreams as Barnes had? He was completely dedicated and convinced of the future that awaited him. This is a common characteristic reported by some of the most successful people.They always knew it would happen even when facing unbelievable odds.

Faith and passion kept them on track. This is why you must clarify and know you purpose. You must want it so bad that you will stick with it when there is no evidence you will succeed. You must be committed and never give up! Are you this dedicated to making your dreams come true? If you are there will be no stopping you!” Rex Sikes

Make today spectacular!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Act As If, Beliefs, Blessings, Celebration, Confidence, Creating The Future, Definite Chief Purpose, Emotions, Energy, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Goals, Intentional Thinking, Mindset, Patience, Persistence, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Visualization

How You Can Take Hold Of Your Destiny

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horizons in-memory-of-phil-koch

“How do you remain faithful to your dream when there is absolutely no evidence, yet, you can accomplish it? Not giving up  when nothing appears to be happening is probably the most difficult concept for people to embrace. Most people want immediate results, they feel they need to know what they are doing is working. If it isn’t they want to change direction and quickly.

Edwin C. Barnes, according to Napoleon Hill, in Think And Grow Rich, waited patiently for FIVE years. He never gave up or doubted. He worked a menial job with no outer evidence he would ever get what he wanted. During those five years Barnes remained true to his dream. He steadfastly focused on his goal.

Instead of seeking something else to do, instead of quitting, he intensified his desire! I repeat, he intensified his desire to have what he came for. He kept his dream alive within and felt it even more strongly. How do you remain faithful to your dream when there is no evidence you can accomplish it?

Perception Is Everything

You do what Barnes did. You intensify the desire. You keep the faith, keep doing and wait patiently. Patience is considered a virtue? How we wait determines our entire experience. How we wait truly matters! We can complain the entire time, blame, whine, weep, be fearful, angry and stressed out. This is often the experience of people stuck in traffic. Consider the following.

Traffic is stopped. You cannot get to your destination as you thought you would. What is there to do? Surrounded by stopped vehicles there is nothing you can do to move your vehicle. You are stuck. You just have to wait it out. How you wait is critical. It is critical to your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health and well being. Many freak out.

Faith is the belief in things not seen. Some call that crazy. Atheists, and skeptics say it is not rational. You are wasting your time. The same kind of  thinkers said, ‘we don’t need a horseless carriage my horse is good enough’. ‘We don’t need an electric light bulb we’ve oil lamps’, and ‘We will never fly that is only for birds’.

All Things Work Together For Good

I am not talking about faith in an unseen god but about belief in yourself. Belief in your ability to make your future how you want it to be when nothing appears likely. I am talking about being true to your dreams when all physical reality runs counter. You have mountains of bills and debt but your dominant dream is wealth and financial freedom.

There are countless stories of people broke and down and out, who don’t have two nickels to rub together. They failed multiple times, again and again, but still climbed out of the cesspool of troubles into freedom and a life they now enjoy. There are more of these examples than you or I can ever imagine.

There are billions of dollars in flow, circulating the globe every second, if you don’t have a share it is only because you chose not to. There are 7 billion people on the planet. If you are lonely, it is only because, somehow, you chose to be alone. How can it be otherwise? With all that is possibly available if you don’t have, why not? The answer has to be YOU. That is okay, don’t fret.

If It Is To Be It Is Up To Me And No One Else

Determine what you want. Then claim what you want. Imagine yourself, already in possession of all the good you want for yourself. See yourself financially free with enough money to do the things you want to do. Imagine it happening right now not in the future some time. See yourself already in the perfect relationship, loving the partner right for you. Feel all the wonderful feelings.

Stay fast and true.  Remain fast and true even while times run counter to what you want. Remain convinced, keep you eye on the prize. Keep the faith.  Take even baby steps to make daily progress toward your dreams. When you do this eventually get them. SO HOW you wait is critical. What you do when nothing appears to be happening is extremely important!

Do you believe or doubt? Whichever it is you will get more the same. You get back whatever you put out there. YOU create more of the same! Either you will become more convinced or more doubtful. Which do you think works better for getting what you want in life? Some will say, ‘but… but… but’ because there is always some who will.

You Are Where Your Thoughts Take You

Some will say ‘but you have to be realistic’. Who says so? What does being realistic actually mean? Doe being realistic mean caving and giving up because it doesn’t yet look like you might be successful? Is that what you think realistic is? Do you think it is realistic to doubt yourself and your abilities more than believing in yourself?

Are there other ways to be realistic besides the way you think there are? Maybe you are only thinking along old chronic, habitual lines of thought that never served you very well. Perhaps, the reason you feel this is because you never thought differently or challenged yourself to go beyond these worn out thoughts.

Does realistic really mean doubting yourself is better than believing in yourself? Well, does it? Some will say, ‘but you might create false hope’. THAT is a stupid, silly notion. There is only hope or no hope. False hope means hoping against hope. That you may be disappointed by hoping. Disappointment is always a possibility.

Skill Comes From Doing

Would you rather try for something and get a little better and be disappointed or do nothing, remain the same and be disappointed? Which works better for your lifelong enjoyment?  Disappointment could be the very catalyst you need to catapult yourself into success and happiness.

Disappointment could be the ‘hitting rock bottom’ when you finally say, ‘never again’ or ‘I refuse to live like this’. Disappointment is when you ultimately clarify what you want and decide to never settle for what you do not want. Perhaps, it is far better to get disappointed than to be comfortable in laziness and to do nothing.

How you wait in the face of trying circumstances or when nothing seems to happen IS the measure of your character. How you wait defines you. How you waits tells others precisely who you are. How you wait reveals your true self to you, as well as, others. Everyone can see, although you may still be blinded by your own thoughts.

Habits Are Built By Repetition

Seeds germinate and the plants grow underground, in darkness, for a significant amount of time. There is lots going on but it is invisible to us. We can’t see it.  We wait for the plant to appear.. When you believe in yourself, when you live with the conviction that you will succeed, much is happening, inside that cannot be seen right now.

You just have to wait for it. So what do you do in the meantime? How do you spend your time. What if you knew that in five or ten years you would have everything you want what you would do in the meantime? How would you wait it out?

How would you live? What would you think? What would you do in the meantime. Would you bemoan the fact it hadn’t happened yet? Some would.   Would you be excited and eager for that coming day? Would you do anything different? Would you live every day fully during the troubled times or would you put off today for what tomorrow would bring?

The More We Do The More We Are Able To Do

Patience is a virtue for many reasons. Be patient and be persistent. Do what you can do to move forward. Continue to trust that you will succeed no matter what life seems to offer right now. Enjoy now, no matter how hard it is. This positive mindset, this  deliberate act of intentional thinking, will pay off for you big time. Enjoy now even when circumstances are tough. Have faith in better days.

When you can look at everything as a blessing, no matter what, you are free! You are powerful. You are capable of fulfilling your destiny. If you can find the seed of opportunity in adversity, if you can uncover the learning and keep going, then you are truly already blessed. You are blessed because you are one who can achieve anything.

Celebration, positive thoughts and feelings open the floodgates for more! What you put out you get back. What you sow you will reap. From one seed countless thousands of plants are possible. From your deliberate faith in the invisible, behind the scenes, positive action, great things can arise.

SO have faith! Be patient! Trust in yourself! There is more potential in having faith than not having faith.  When you stay true, and stay convinced in your abilities, though times seem to run counter, you will make you dreams come true.  Life is whatever you make it. How you make it what you want it to be starts within you. It begins with your thoughts. Control your thoughts and you will control your destiny.” Rex Sikes

Make today your day!

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Attitude, Beliefs, Confidence, Creating The Future, Definite Chief Purpose, Deliberate Creators, Emotions, Energy, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Goals, Intentional Thinking, Mental Movie Theater, Mindset, Persistence, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Talk, Trust, Visualization

Why Do Some Succeed While Others Struggle And Give Up?

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horizons - 1-a-quiet-reckoning-phil-koch

“What makes some people winners and not others? Why do some succeed while others struggle and give up? What separates the wheat from the chaff? Are their differences? Do you have what it takes? If not, why not? Can success be learned? Can you be happy most of the time?

Absolutely! You can be happy most of the time. Success and happiness leave clues that you can use to be that too. It is far more scientific than you think. There are formulas, recipes, that when faithfully applied, you can use to help get what you desire most.

If You Really Want To Do Something You Will Find A Way

When you follow a cake recipe precisely, you get a similar cake; when you follow the recipes for happiness and success you get similar results. If you want it bad enough and you stick with the recipe you will get what you desire. It is simple enough!

Hill, said this about Edwin C. Barnes, (I continue this discussion from previous post). ‘Barnes succeeded because he chose a definite goal, placed all his energy, all his willpower, all his effort, everything back of that goal.’

‘He did not become the partner of Edison the day he arrived. He was content to start at the most menial work as long as it provided an opportunity to take even one step toward his cherished goal.’

If You Don’t Want To Do It You’ll Find An Excuse?

Barnes knew what he wanted. He saw it, he heard it, he lived it in his mind, repeatedly. He was definite about what he wanted. It consumed him. He imagined himself as Edison’s partner long before he became his partner, even when there was no evidence he would ever become one. Still, he placed all his energy, his willpower and his effort back of his goal. He would have bet on himself to win!

Are you willing to do that? Will you go after what you want and let nothing deter you? Can you say you have visualized your positive good day and night? Do you live your dream inside your mind and feel convinced it is yours? Do you know it is bound to happen? ARE you convinced you can do it? Do you have confidence you have what it takes?

If you have answered yes, you may well be on the way to making your dreams come true. However, if you have answered no to any of these, you will want to make adjustments in your thinking. Your thoughts and energies need to be aligned. You some work on yourself! You are more assured of getting your goal if you want it so bad you can taste it.

Are You Interested?  It Would Be Nice, Right?

If it is merely a wish, something that might make you happy, something you could try and if it doesn’t work out you will change, then it is more than likely you won’t make it happen. If you bail as soon as it gets tough then, obviously not. Barnes knew what he wanted and was determined to make it happen no matter what.

THAT is determination! That is conviction! That is faith in oneself. That is what you, and I and all of us need. For 5 years Barnes was content to do menial work, nothing even close to his goal, as long as it provided an opportunity to take even one step closer. Barnes was in for the long haul. Are you?

This clarity of purpose, this certainty, this willingness to do whatever positive steps it takes is what we to need to have. If you want to succeed you first need to be success minded. We will discuss this more in future blogs. Barnes is a great example of what we need and what can be the result when we apply ourselves deliberately.

Or Are You Committed?

The world can be your oyster? Is it? If it isn’t why isn’t it? You need not deprive anyone else of anything to have a wonderful fulfilling life. There is more than plenty for all. You are deceiving yourself if you think otherwise. Attitude determines your altitude.

You can be, do and have and enjoy everything life offers but it all starts from within. Many people, mistakenly think it comes from the outside. It doesn’t. What you need you already have within you only have to discover it and let it out!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate this day!

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Affirmations, Beliefs, Blessings, Celebration, Creating The Future, Directed Questions™, Emotions, Energy, Focus, Getting Over The Past, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Intentional Thinking, Joy, Mindset, Overcoming Difficulty, Persistence, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Visualization

If You Read Nothing Else Read This: What To Do When Troubled

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horizons and-for-a-moment-it-was-silent-phil-koch

“People say, ‘you are always so positive are you ever troubled?’ There are good days and not so good. That’s just how it is, right? Times can be troublesome? Sometimes you are riding high and you get knocked down very far and hard. What to do?

There are days when I don’t feel thrilled. There are days that are difficult. There are times when everything seems oppositional. At times, events and circumstances turn for the worse.

There are moments when I wonder what I am doing. Sometimes, I feel a sucker and want to throw in the towel. Sometimes, I don’t want to feel positive or feel good. Sometimes, I feel blah or resentful. I have rough days and good days. Some very difficult.

What I have learned from my practice is that ultimately I am in charge and I am in control. What used to swamp my boat no longer does. When disappointments come the lows are not nearly as low as they have been in the past. I have learned and benefit from my practice.

You Have To Learn That You Control Your Thoughts

Sometimes, deals don’t manifest. Sometimes, someone else gets the role. I get angry at my family for no apparent reason. Yes, things happen. I lose out on an opportunity or a job. Money may be tight. Kids don’t do what I ask. I feel overwhelmed. I feel distant, or sad, or angry.

In the past few months I didn’t get a part I had hoped for. A few deals fell through. Some money issues presented. Someone, had stalled me for months on something that I needed to get handled. A lot goes on each and every day.

There are everyday life concerns, kid concerns, relationship concerns, friend concerns, business concerns.  You name it, we can get caught up. I have. I do. Life is whatever it is. It just is. We determine whether we react or respond to it.

Recently, a young friend of our family, took his life. It really ripped me up. I felt so sorry for he and his family. I am still shocked and saddened. Still, sad and angry at him for not giving it another day. What he did hurt, not only himself, but everyone who cared for him.

Thankfully, I fall back on my practice when I realize times are turning tough. Sometimes, I notice right away. Sometimes, it takes me awhile. It is a much shorter time now, than it was years ago that is for certain.

You Direct Your Mind By What You Put Your Energy Into

It means as soon as I realize I am feeling or thinking less than gloriously I begin to direct my mind back to the positive. I become aware that less than glorious feelings mean I must be thinking less than glorious thoughts. So I change my thoughts and my feelings.

I use questions. I discovered this for myself back in 1980. I direct my attention back towards what I know I want to focus on. I ask questions about how I want to feel. I steer my thoughts and feelings back gently in a productive way.

I have written about using questions a number of times in these blog pages. I encourage you to go back, find and read so you can too, if you would like to. I utilizeDirected Questions™ all the time.

Soon enough, sometimes, now, almost immediately, I begin to notice a shift toward  feeling better. When you think better you feel better! Questions work wonders because there is far less resistance to an innocent, well intentioned question.

What You Focus On Is What You Get

I remind myself that athletes and troops often don’t feel like it but continue to train or do whatever they must do to continue to move forward. I then do my best to follow through. Like it or not I continue to affirm and visualize and focus on what I want to make happen even when I don’t feel like it.

I have learned to push through it. Eventually, it gives way and I feel better. I remind myself when things don’t work out that obstacles and disappointments are they way I learn to direct my mind.

If everything were easy I would never have to learn how. I have learned to embrace tough times, more often than not, now. The kite rises against the wind. There are learnings and lessons in challenge.

There is great value to these times. I used to try to avoid or escape them. Now, more often, I say bring it! Give me your best shot because I will prevail! I will learn, benefit and prevail! All is good!

A boxer wants a challenging fight.There are rock finger climbers who hang hundreds of feet above rocks without safety harnesses because they want the challenge. I say bring it on!

When things don’t happen or I lose out on something I remind myself that I am a creator and attractor. Yes, I  wanted this OR something better.

If it is not this, then something better is on the way. I will ultimately manifest something much better. Sometimes, you have to clean out the closet to make room for the new stuff. I will create something better then!

Whatever Follows The Words I AM – IS – What You Are

Sometimes, we need to clear the way for better things. If I don’t get what I wanted I look for what better something is on the way. This isn’t some  fairy tale magic. This is keeping myself open and available and receptive to other good things and possibilities.

I recognize that I only see a fraction of life at any second. There is much more happening than I can ever be aware of. I surrender to the possibility that I don’t know everything. Ultimately everything works out for the best. It always has.

I always, no matter what, have landed on my feet. I have faced some tremendous challenges in life and have managed to get through them. So, even when things look bleak, I have a pretty good life. I remind myself to remember that. AND I do!

I practice gratitude and remember to count my blessings. I celebrate life and the ups and downs. I think, I am divine and am playing one heck of a game on myself.

Whatever Follows The Words I HAVE – IS – What You Have

I am a divine trickster seeing if I can ruffle the poor human and make him squirm or rise up to the occasion and overcome all difficulty. I begin to claim my power and my authority.

I realize like David facing Goliath that this is a day to claim victory and rush the giant, or my problems, to meet them head on, and to not whine, or blame. Yes, sometimes I vent to another.

Fairly quickly, I try to remember to only speak to bless, heal and prosper. I attempt to remember that what I say is what I get and to not further difficulties but talk solutions and speak positively. Loose lips sinks ships.

Life is whatever life is. Up and down. I am learning through it all not to try to run or escape tough times, low times or disappointments but to find the seeds of opportunity and advantage within them.

Everyday can be a day to celebrate. Just because circumstances suck it doesn’t mean I have to suck for the circumstances. I can be a champion in times of trouble.

Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude

I am learning that I do have all the resources at any moment to make any change. If I think I am defeated I am. If I think I am troubled I am. If I think I am poor I am. Whatever I think and declare myself to be is what I am. I make it so by my own words.  No one else does, but me.

HOWEVER, if I think I am victorious, even when it doesn’t yet appear that way, I AM. If I think I am free and living the good life, even when it may not seem like it, then I AM. If I think I am rich, even while paying bills, then I AM. I determine who I am, what I am, how I am.

I am the one in charge. I am the one who turns difficulties into opportunities by changing how I feel and what I focus on. I steer my mind toward the goodI want to focus on. I have learned that if I focus on troubles I only get more of them.

I have learned that if I want to get to my destination, though the waters may be severely troubled, I need to stay the course and be the captain of soul and the master of my fate. No one can or will do it for me even when I have support and love around me.

You Don’t Get Uphill Thinking Downhill Thoughts

If it is to be it is up to me. Yes, there are dark times but I have learned how to find the light. Anyone can. Little by little, inch by inch, step by step. I have learned to nudge myself along in a better, more positive direction. If I can’t leap into bliss I can inch my way into it.

I wrote of Barnes in my last blog and I will again in upcoming ones. When nothing seemed to be happening for a significant period of time, Hill states, Barnes intensified his desire to make his dream come true.

He did not lose faith. He did not give up. He did not quit and seek something else to do. He kept at it until, one day, five years later he was beginning to live the destiny he wanted. He was persistent.

We need to be persistent and consistent in our dedication to ourself in living the best life we can at any given moment. The difference between me now versus then, what I have learned and done that is successful, is that I eliminated some old detrimental habits and replaced them with more productive, positive ones. New habits!

We need to learn to laugh in the midst of adversity, troubles and tears. We need to find our inner joy, our bliss and celebrate all the wonderful things each second because our troubles are only a portion of all life offers. The more we do the more we can do!

What You Focus Expands

Yes, they look large and may seem to be all encompassing BUT actually they are not. They are small in comparison to everything else that is going on and that is available. There is so much more going on in any instant. You just need to look and  find the good.

If you look for it you will find it. Believe it is there and you will discover it. That is the job of the Reticular Activating System (RAS) remember, to find examples in the outer world that match your inner convictions and beliefs. Believing is seeing.

Believe all is good. Believe unexpected good is coming your way even though you can’t yet see it. Keep the faith. Believe that you always land on your feet.

My life is so incredible. I live a blessed life. Does it mean I have the best of everything. Nope, not yet, at least. It does mean I make the best of all I presently have. I make the best of the past and look forward to a marvelous future.

The present is glorious EVEN when it isn’t. Times may be tough but not for as long. New thought habits replaced the old. New wine skins for new wine. Everything becomes new! Most of the time I have learned to feel wonderful regardless of what is going on. THAT is what this practice is all about.

You Become What You Think About Most

I repeat, I have learned, through my practice that attitude determines your altitude and what you are capable of doing. Most importantly, I have learned, if it is to be IT IS UP TO ME!

I am responsible for how I live each moment. SO I make the most and the best of each moment. Once the moment is gone it is gone! Believe that something better is on the way and YOU will soon discover it. Decide to make the best of whatever life gives you!

Have faith! Keep the faith! Prevail! Be a champion over your difficulties. Take tiny steps if you must. Free yourself from the mental bindings that have held you. You can, you know. Think new thoughts, develop new habits and all of life changes.” Rex Sikes

Celebrate this day and everyday!

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How To Create The Future You Want

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“Do you care if some people try to prevent you?  Some may say it is not realistic. They may argue you need to focus on what is in front of you. There are those who will call you a dreamer. They won’t mean it in a nice way does that bother you?  There is nothing wrong with dreaming and pursuing your your dreams. You know that, right?

In fact, in order to be a deliberate creator you have to focus on what isn’t there yet. You have to dream it. You may look at a lump of clay but you can’t see the clay for what it is. You must see the lump of clay for what it will be.

You must look at the invisible, that which does not yet exist, and bring it forth from your thoughts and imagination. Know that you can make this happen! Trust.

That is the act of creation. You manifest and make happen your thoughts. You make the future the present. You dream it first and make it happen. Don’t focus on your present circumstances any more than you would focus on the lump clay. Focus on what you want it to become. Keep your focus on what you are creating.

Concentrate On What You Want

Some artists are passionate and consumed with bringing their inner thoughts to life. They imagine something in their mind and then they paint it, fashion it or sculpt it into being. They think about it night and day. They work on their art all the time. As a creator you do the same thing with your career, your relationships and your life.

You imagine what you want to be, do and have vividly and passionately and then you take positive actions to bring it into being. So yes, put your attention on your dreams. They don’t, yet, exist in reality. Thoughts first; actions follow!

Don’t put your attention on what you don’t want.  Don’t think about making money to get out of debt. Create more money so you are free to have more fun or adventure. If you worry about a pile of bills you end up focused on not having enough. What you think about you bring about so you create more lack not more riches.

Think About It Day And Night

Focus on the invisible. Stay focused on what you want that has not physically happened, yet. Keep your attention on your big dreams and desires; the ones that make you feel incredible when you think about them. Do not focus on the circumstances you’d prefer to leave. Do not let the less than glorious present get the better of you.

Feel wonderful while thinking about what you want. If you don’t feel great that means there is something you need to adjust about your thinking. You may be focused on what you don’t want or you may be thinking it isn’t possible.

Change your thinking. Adjust. Focus on what you do want. Perhaps, your dream is too big for you to believe in right now. Gently whittle it down to the size you absolutely feel you can accomplish. Step it down a bit. It still excites you but it isn’t too large to believe you can make it happen.

Feel Fantastic When Thinking About It

Accomplish this first goal on your way to making the bigger dream happen. If you don’t feel good or you doubt or fear when focused on your dream you aren’t helping yourself in any positive way. You want to feel eager and excited.

You want to feel the anticipation and expect it happen. You want to absolutely know this is something you can and will achieve and feel it fully. THEN you are in the right frame to bring it about. You are prepared to move full steam ahead. You know nothing can stop you!

Whatever positive future you want to create must be accompanied by strong wonderful feelings. The feelings are important. Switch your thinking from the present bad circumstances to whatever makes you think and feel better. Then, ultimately, switch it to your dreams. When you think about what you want FEEL GREAT!!!

Believe 1000% In Your Ability To Make It Happen

To bring your dreams into being you have to think about your dreams, most of the time, while feeling wonderful. You can’t get caught up in the ‘bad luck’ of now. Your attention must be on what you WANT to create.

To have a better life you need to think, feel and focus on feeling and being better. You withdraw your attention from problems and place it somewhere useful and productive. You place it on those things that make you feel the very best. As you do this consistently you develop positive thought habits to assist you.

You put your attention, concentration, your energy and  focus, on the dreams you want to come true. You put it on the dreams that make you feel wonderful when you imagine your life that way. These feelings make all the difference in the world.

It Is Perfectly Fine To Create In Stages – Step By Step

Celebrate feeling good. Feel positive and excited. Believe in yourself 1000%. Unless, what you want is harmful, pay no attention to what others say can’t be done. There will always be naysayers. If what you want is good, positive and the true best for all, bring it into being.

Follow your positive heart and create goodness for yourself and others. Make your dreams come true. What you think about you bring about! So celebrate and enjoy! You can be, do and have anything you want. Make the good all happen!

Create the career;  positively improve the family relationships; discover the love of your life; improve your health and your wealth; enjoy the things and the life you have always wanted.  YOU are the creator!” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

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Breaking News! Success Won’t Make You Happy But This Will!

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“Breaking news! Success won’t make you happy. Wait, there is more. Borne out by science and decades of research; Success won’t make you happy BUT happy can make you successful! Yes, again, I repeat, happiness leads to success. Happiness leads to success!

From ancient times until now it has been pointed out that happiness and positive thinking and optimistic thinking is healthy and leads to better health, wealth, and abilities. Happiness makes you better at what you do and makes what you do much easier. Sadly, most people, through the centuries, got it backwards.

Sadly, people believe the right job or success, the right partner or mate,  money or things would make them happy. They thought happiness came as a result of something else happening first.

Sad again. They only discovered that they delayed feeling good, if at all, and that even acquiring many things still left them feeling empty. It is because IT really is the other way around! It IS the other way!

It is time to straighten everyone out. The happier you are the healthier you tend to be. Happiness affects your health, your well-being, you ability to handle or process stress, your thinking and clarity and your productivity. The happier you are the more you can accomplish.

Happiness Is Its Own Reward And Has Multiple Benefits

Since the early 80’s I have been teaching workshops pointing out that by practicing happiness and positivity you could develop new neural pathways.You could develop wonderfully supportive habits, live more delightfully, successfully and happily, easily and nearly effortlessly.

You could open up your neurology to be capable of evolving yourself in positive ways. I suggested you could create positive habits which would positively serve you.

In my workshops we practice daily gratitude, asking positive directed questions, smiling more, laughing meditation, feeling good and accessing wonderful and powerful resource states, imaging a better future, scanning for positive and new moments each day and more. A lot more. But these were core rituals or practices.

We had rituals we did each class session and each day. I pointed out that making a habit requires a minimum of 21 days repeated practice or rehearsal. What people began as practice during my  10 or 14 day programs they were encourage to continue back home.

Habits Come From Rituals And Rituals Become Habits

Rituals are things we do everyday. For some people that includes hygiene, brushing teeth and washing. We eat, sleep, go to school or work. We may read the paper or get online. Have a cup of coffee. There are things we do regularly each and every day; sometimes multiple times throughout the day.

Spaced repetition builds habit. Correct spaced repetition builds reliable skill. Reading instructions doesn’t change you but implementing what the instructions tell you to do can change you. This is why I suggest doing these practices as often as possible each day.

I called it rehearsal, from my acting background, or the kind of conditioning athletes go through or practice professional sports teams undergo to build reliable skill sets for performance.

Create The Happiness Habit

I was harshly criticized in a number of books and publications as promoting pseudoscience and pie in the sky thinking. I was even accused (rightly) of utilizing the placebo effect.

How cool of me! Then again, they scoffed because I told people we could deliberately utilize the placebo effect. Some finally are catching on. Some Psychologists, as are scientists, catching up.

I and others pointed to things like ‘mirror neurons’ prior to their discovery. We knew through mediation, rapport studies, and other practice that many things were ‘contagious’. Smiling, rapport, happiness, peace, relaxation are infectious.

One person, neurologically, can affect another. Large groups practicing the meditation or laughter or peace have a dynamic, synergistic effect and affect others, even those not practicing. Hooray, some are finally catching on! Not nearly enough though.

Decades later research has verified what I knew back then, and far greater minds than mine have known for centuries. The better you feel the better you do. I repeat. The better you feel the better you do. Happiness leads to success and not the other way around.

Happiness is a choice! Practice feeling better a little bit each day. By practicing daily you eventually make it a reliable habit AND grow new neural pathways and connections thereby overall evolving yourself!!! Research Neuroplasticity and evolving your brain.

Here is the rub with science. IT is usually behind not ahead except for some cases. Scientific testing works this way to test a theory. Scientists make a claim, or stated hypotheses.

Happiness Is A Choice

Then they try to disprove the hypothesis. If it can’t be disproved it is accepted as the best theory you currently have for explaining what is going on. In research validation, they seek independent replication of results.

Science takes time to verify and establish new theories and validate. Not all science is equal, nor is it all good, nor is testing or reporting or publishing or disseminating the findings reliable or always upright.

BUT STILL much of science is what we hope it to be. Rigorous and trustworthy. OPEN and flexible. Because science is supposed to update theories, as better explanations become available, through testing.

Choose To Be Happy And You Will Be

There are many abstracts citing the research and conclusions. You can look them up. Look up topics such as happiness, optimism, placebo, overcoming depression naturally, mindfulness, meditation, relaxation, mirror neurons,  etc.

There are many, MANY, books written citing the research in health, healing, attitude, psychology, meditation, spirituality. One I want to refer you to (not only because it concludes and incorporates many of the practices that I and others have taught for many years but) because they really delved into researching the topic.

You can read Shawn Anchor’s findings and the research conclusions in The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work. He has since published other books. Available at amazon. Check out the research and the results.

Why Would You Ever Choose To Not Be Happy

If you aren’t going to read it then at least stay tuned to this blog. I will bring you the latest and greatest as well as the oldest and the tried and true.

HAPPINESS is something that you can have more of anytime. If you do certain things you are guaranteed to become happier. It can be as easy as a couple minutes spent daily.

While, it probably won’t occur overnight it will occur in time as you stick with it. One of the greatest life transforming things you can do, is to practice gratitude. Feel gratitude, live it daily.

In my workshops I had people create list of 25 things they were grateful for each night. Shawn has them do as few as three every day. Something so simple can be so profound.

We’ll discuss more. We have happiness, beliefs, and a number of topics currently in play here. So keep reading and re-reading. Most importantly, begin doing, if you haven’t already, and keep doing.

You can rewire your brain, feel better, be healthier, think more clearly and enjoy more success and prosperity as you do! SO Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

If you think these posts would help others please share them. Please Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

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Here’s How You Can Make Tremendous Positive Change Bit By Bit.

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“Would you like to get more bang for your buck? Wouldn’t you like it if benefits came more quickly and easily? The results you want, you can absolutely have! You can increase the likelihood you will be, do and have whatever you want IF you will do this.

You are more apt to make your dreams come true if you will make this part of your practice. If you will practice this way. Just keep in mind, make it your motto that ‘Little things add up’. If you do a few little things routinely, overtime the effect is cumulative and powerful.

Within these blog pages I have shared things you can do that result in tremendous positive change and transformation. All you need to do is put them into practice. Do them, repeat them, regularly and you will surprise and delight yourself.  It is quite easy, actually.

If You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You Are Right

Some people want that one big thing they think will change everything, all at once so they won’t have to work at it. Rarely, if ever does it happen that way. More often, one changes because one is conditioned to change.

One big day of exercise does nothing, frankly. Exercise over time, repeated regularly has an effect. Even if it is nothing more than walking if you do it every day it is amazingly beneficial. Some people think that is not doing enough. They want it tough and hard. They do not want any fluff.

However, if it is too hard, to complicated, or too confusing people are more likely to give up. They will abandon the practice. If it is a no brainer, easy but effective, they are more apt to continue and get the benefits.

The More You Do The More You Can Do

Shortly, after the New Year resolutions are abandoned. People won’t keep doing if it interrupts the flow of their day. We are routined and entrenched in our habitual lifestyles. Heaping onto and already busy schedule rarely results in success.

SO if you do nothing, nothing will change. You must change something to get the results you want. BUT if you try to do too much, it is more likely, you won’t continue with it. Then you will exclaim, you tried it and it didn’t work. The truth is you didn’t try it long enough to make it stick.

A pound of feathers is the same as a pound of stones. Keep in mind, make this your motto, ‘Drop by drop the tub gets filled’. Little by little you get closer and closer. Step by step the journey is made. Constant, regular, correct repetition will get you the results you want quicker than anything else.

Everything Worth Doing Seems Difficult At First

A plant grows from seed to sapling in its own time. You cannot rush it. A watched pot never boils, at least, it seems to take forever. That is because it gradually heats up. It is goes unnoticed for awhile but many things are happening within the pot. Atoms and molecules are banging around. Eventually, it will produce a noisy, rolling boil.

If you let go and become captivated with other things, before you know it, much will have transpired.  Become fascinated with how incredibly beautiful the world is. Notice how much good there is and how marvelous most of the people are. IF you did ONLY this life would get better all on its own.

Let go of the rest. Enjoy and delight, become inspired and little else will matter. Celebrate and be thankful. Do this, a little bit, every few moments, throughout each day. It will end up profoundly affecting you in positive ways. Try it. You will be surprised.

If You Want To Do It You Will Find A Way

Read at least a page or two a day of inspirational material a day. Smile more. Laugh more frequently. Walk around and enjoy what you experience.

Repeat some short, meaningful positive affirmations frequently throughout the day. Use great, wonderful feelings as you repeat them. Speak only to bless, heal and prosper. Look for the good in yourself, others and the world. Stop criticizing and blaming and start praising.

Little thing, you can easily do more of, do often. Draw your attention to how good you are feeling and appreciate it. Whenever you notice you are not feeling so good, or you are feeling less than glorious, notice what you are thinking and think some better thoughts. Change whatever you are focused on. Change your own thinking. Take control.

Whatever you are fascinated with you will get because it gets you.  What captivates you and grabs your attention and energy is what you spend your time on.

What you spend your time thinking about is ultimately what you get back. It is your return on investment (ROI). Go back, reread through this blog. Discover some of the other simple things that are powerful to put into practice.

If You Don’t Want To Do It You Will Find An Excuse

Remember these and make them your mottos, What you see IS what you get. What you say IS what you get. What you feel IS what you get. What you think about IS what you bring about! Little by little change what you do; put into practice simple things, small behaviors you can repeat throughout the day and your benefits will be amazing.

The small seed becomes the mighty oak. A few apple seeds can result in hundreds and thousands and hundreds of thousands of apples. Your small efforts will pay off in big ways. You will, through, repetition, make these positive behaviors habits.

Once habits they are reliable and automatic and serve you in ways you presently can’t imagine. True transformation really is the development of new more productive, positive and powerful habits that help us move forward to get what we want. Change can be quite easy when you know how. Now you know. Do it today!”

Fill your moments with magic and your whole day will be magical!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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You Have Been Conditioned To Fail But You Don’t Have To!

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“Have you been conditioned for failure? Sadly, the answer is yes. You were not born to fail but you learned it from well meaning people who were around you as you grew up. Since, you learned to fail there is something that can be done about it.

Consider this. A toddler, when learning to walk, falls many times. It does not stop trying. Nothing prevents it. It keeps going until it masters walking. The young child did this with rolling over, crawling, sitting up and feeding herself. It did this many times with many learnings.

Only later through communication with others does a child learn what success or failure is. It becomes an event. The child learns right, wrong, good, bad. It learns judgement and evaluations from others. The child learns about winning and losing.

At this time in the young person’s development f something doesn’t work out it is wrong. It is a failure and bad. Judgements are imposed on efforts made from the outside.

Soon the child learns to make these assessments and label attempts that aren’t fruitful. Before long the child tries once, twice, three times and quits. Worse before long the child may label him or herself based on these trials.

Brains that fire together wire together. The more you judge the easier it becomes to make judgements.The more you quit the easier it becomes because you develop the neural pathways the habits for quitting. The more you succeed the more you develop the neural pathways and habits for winning.

Your brain doesn’t care which you choose. Your brain will do whatever you give it to do. If you prefer being a winner, train your brain, and you will be a winner. Otherwise, what is your option?

You were born a winner. Don’t stop being one because you have learned to quit. Learn again to win. Learn to persist until you do succeed. Stop thinking of yourself as anything other than a winner.

Your mindset, you attitude, how you feel about yourself will determine how much you ‘go for it’. Persistence separates the winners from the losers. If the goal is to cross the finish line the only one who is a failure is the one who quits and never crosses.

The infant encounters temporary defeat but keeps on doing until she succeeds. You can too. All failure IS only temporary unless you quit. Then it is permanent. Then you have given up.

Never give up on your positive goals and dreams. Adjust your plans, attempt another way or route but keep on going until you get there. You can do it. Be the champion you were born to be. Be the victor you are and triumph over circumstances.” Rex Sikes

Today is a wonderful day!

If you think these posts would help others please share them using your favorite means; Facebook, Twitter, email, reblog, Google etc. Hit the Like Button. Please Help Spread the word. Then you benefit by giving them a gift too!

Please leave comments too. Thank You!

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

SOON SOON SOON –  LAUNCHING THE NEW BLOG SITE  – The site has a new look and feel. Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter.

Stick with me. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!