Category Archives: Blessings

How You Live Right This Moment Is Critical! The Secret Only A Few Know & Use!

horizons red morning sunrise

“Do you want it yesterday? Some people are impatient for results to show up. Are you one of them? You can’t rush the growth of a flower or a tree. Babies take time to grow into adults. You cannot force the sun to rise. Why are you in such a hurry?

It seems some people want to escape the now and they want to do it quickly. They don’t like where they are at and want a big change to make everything different and better. Occasionally, that happens but in reality most things happen in the same way wine improves. Over time.

I have written on patience and how to wait. You may want to go and explore some of my previous blogs. Most people in Hollywood know an overnight success means 10 to 15 years of work first. So expect to wait, be okay with it and you will fare far better.

Create The Invite And Send It Out

Here is the deal. When you put out a party invitation you send out the word and then you wait for the people to arrive. You can either wait well or poorly.

You can either enjoy what is going on right now while waiting for your guests to arrive or you can worry, fear, doubt, and micromanage each moment. Which do you prefer it to be? Pleasant or painful it is up to you.

Neither of these two ways has any impact of who shows up or when? You have no control over that. The only thing you do have control over is how you wait and whether or not you enjoy the duration. In the same way some people try to push a rope, they try to push the results they get.

They fret, worry, try to do more, they fear, they think there is more to do, something else needs to be done. It becomes an ongoing, endless cycle as the they try to insure they will get their way. I think of it as fishing.

What Kind Of Fisher Are You

You get the proper bait as best you can for what you want to catch. You drop the line and relax. Let the fish take the bait because you can’t make it take it. You can only appeal to it. The fish takes it when it takes it.

You can be frustrated or you can enjoy the time you spend near or on the water. It is up to you.

The key to making you dreams come true is intent. Clarify what you want, be precise, be specific. Focus on it, be passionate it about it, feel wonderful and keep it in mind. Imagine it as if you already have it. Celebrate and be grateful and enjoy the marvelous feelings.

Let Go

Part of getting is receiving. Be open, be receptive, be patient, be relaxed and enjoy the meantime. Live in this time with great delight. Enjoy now! Live in gratitude, with passion and enthusiasm.  Don’t keep checking or comparing. Stop digging up the seeds to see if they are growing.

Let go and be open to receive. Let the guests arrive when and as they do. Stop trying to force and allow. You may be the creator and you may be the attractor but allow yourself to relax and let it come to you.

You Sent Out The Invitation Let It Arrive When And As It Does

We work during the day and we rest during the night. Rest. Trust. Accept. Allow. Enjoy!  This is important. This is a huge part of getting what you want. This is a part many miss. They are so busy managing they don’t realize they are pushing it away.

Have faith. Believe it is coming. Expect it is coming and relax. Trust means you don’t fight for it because you already know it is yours. This relaxed confidence is as much an important part as the effort you put into your thoughts.

Delight and feel wonderful. How you live now is critical! Don’t sacrifice now for the future. Enjoy now and your future will be enjoyable too. Whatever effort you put into making your dreams come true put equal amounts of faith and fun.

Be glad now! Celebrate now! Be grateful now and you will have more to celebrate and be grateful for in the future. Keep this in mind. YOU plant the seeds and you wait for them to grow and flourish. You nurture and you trust.

You Can’t Force The Seed To Grow

If you know this at some level apply it to your dreams and your goals. Relax! Trust. Be open and receptive. Allow yourself to accept them into your life. Stop trying so hard. Do and trust. Keep trusting. Keep celebrating and living in gratitude. Enjoy this moment while you wait. Then you are not waiting you are fully living!” Rex Sikes

Today can be marvelous. Make it so!

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Learn The One Thing Guaranteed To Improve Your Life, Longevity & Happiness?

horizons - daisys in foreground

“If there was one thing you could do that would improve your attitude, your mental health and even your physical health would you want to know what it is? Would you do it? Are you interested in maximizing your potential and the quality of your life? If you are please read on.

In my last blog I emphasized recognizing, acknowledging and appreciating your strengths, talents and abilities. Celebrate you good points and your strong ones. This is important for a couple of reasons.

Search Ask Questions

Your mental search and discovery is extremely useful. When you set your mind to look for the positive things about you you will find them.  This is precisely why asking better quality positive questions is so important. It is why I have recommended Directed Questions™ for so many years.

Unfortunately, many, if not most people, look for the negative. Don’t worry you will find those as well if you bother to look. Your mind will deliver whatever you focus on and it will deliver multiple examples. Birds of a feather flock together is a useful reminder.

It comes up with more that one answer because part of the way the mind works is by association. It finds relevant, similar examples to deliver. So you want good taste to prevail. You want to be smart about what you search for. Search for what you want to find.

When you search for positive, strengths and abilities you will find them. If you are one of the few who can’t seem to remember many examples at first just keep looking. Keep asking ‘what am I good at?’ ‘what is something else I am good at’ or ‘what other things am I good at?’ Continue to probe and to prod and the answers will soon come.

Reflect And Review

Think about how you interact with people.  What you do in the form of activities, work and play? Where you spend time?  What you know or are knowledgeable about? Sometimes finding the answers comes from adjusting the question or a word.

For those who think, I am not good at anything (because their use of good represents too high of a standard) they may have to  first think about those things they do well at or just better than other things. You may have to keep asking in different ways. In actual use getting answers back from your own brain is pretty darn easy. Keep asking!

Focus on the type of answers you want. What you excel at or in. These constitute resources you have from your past. They are your strong points that you can apply in your present or future. They are things about yourself to celebrate and appreciate. They are part of you and your history. They are your present and your future too.

Remembering and counting these as blessings can help you feel better and be more positive because you focus on your strengths. You set your mind thinking along intentional productive lines. You are more positive because you can find examples in your own history of things you succeed at or accomplish well.

Realize And  Recognize

Discover the many different areas you have strengths in and the many additional strengths you have yet to realize. Then keep doing it.  Keep doing it. Search, find, recognize, validate and celebrate!

The way to stay more youthful,  have more fun, feel better, think better and clearer is to keep learning new things. Learning is the key. It is the answer!  When you set out to learn something you establish a purpose or goal. Stay a perpetual learner. It keeps you healthier!

Do you want to be able to ski, to sew, to sell, to speak better. Whatever you want to learn you start off with no ability or not knowing how. You negotiate a learning curve all the while practicing or playing. As you continue you learn to get better or even good at it. You have set a goal and a direction to travel in. Then you traveled.

This is beneficial for many reasons. When you learn new things you have to engage in new behaviors, new thoughts, new  ways and different ways of understanding. You need to create new neural pathways. You add newness to your existing skill base.

Celebrate And Delight Be Happy

You actually grow your brain capacity by adding to the neural networks. As you learn and incorporate new abilities and overcome new challenges you keep your brain healthier because the brain loves challenges. It likes puzzles and things to do. It thrives on novelty and being used. You know the saying, use it or lose it.

Use your brain! Use your body to learn a variety of new things. Dedicate yourself to picking up new skills and talents. Have fun discovering other things you may enjoy doing and learning about. Read about them yes, but don’t just read about them get up and out and do them. Consider learning new things you never considered before. Learn on your own and with others. Take classes, get involved. Meet others!

Research has demonstrated that just learning fine finger motor skills such as playing keyboard and stringed instruments, or even finger movement exercises does much to improve overall cognition, keep the brain young and prevent dementia. Exercise and sports contribute to overall well-being and physical health when done properly. Learn new things to do! Get positive mental, emotional and physical stimulation.

Learn to sing, play piano, paint, ski, draw, act, or dance. Sit down and write a play, a script a novel. Learn computer programming or gaming. Take up filmmaking, photography, sports, biking, yoga, any form of art or crafts. Go for Formula 1 driving lessons. ANYTHING! Try crossword puzzles and board games like chess. Challenge yourself. There is so much to choose from. Never limit yourself! Get a coach or mentor!

Keep Learn New Skills Add To Your Strengths

You do not have to go skydiving. Certainly, you can but this isn’t about risk. It is about learning a new ability and adding it to your behavior repertoire. See my previous blogs about adding novelty to your daily routine. Your brain loves novelty. Spice up your days add in novelty. Do things a new and different way. Challenge yourself.

When you have a youthful brain, a positively focused brain, a happier you, you feel and act and behave healthier. You can be healthier too! When you align yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually you align physically too. Of course, learning to do healthy things and incorporate these into your daily routine helps as well.

Practice well being in mind, body and soul. Every day allows you the opportunity to learn or practice something. Each day you can discover new ways to improve yourself and others.  Continue to learn, grow and develop yourself and you can find so much more to be joyous and excited about.

It gives you something to look forward to. So look to your passions. Try things out. Explore and adventure for new things to add into your behavioral repertoire and you knowledge base. Have fun, skip, sing, dance, doodle, and enjoy finding out more of what you are good at. A flower either grows and blooms or withers and dies. Keep growing!” Rex Sikes

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

What wonderful things can you share, and with whom, today?

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Are You Ready To Transform Your Ho Hum Life Into A More Worthwhile, Successful, Positive One?

Want To Change Your Life-

“Today, let’s keep it very simple and very brief. Let’s nutshell it all. Do you want your life to improve for the better? Do you want more happiness, success, love, fun, wealth, better health and well-being?

Do you want to live without worry, fear, and doubt? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be filled with joy and be at peace too? All these and more can be yours. It is simple.

Feel Wonderful

Focus on the best feelings you have and make it a point to have more of them. It is not that you can’t have great feelings readily available it’s that you don’t think it is possible for you. It is!

That is the thinking you must overcome. It is possible! You can do it! You deserve to do it. You won’t, though, if you don’t believe you can or if you won’t do what it takes. Believe in yourself. Have faith!

Fill your mind and your time with the best thoughts and the most wonderful feelings you are able. If you are down low it isn’t necessary that you become over joyed. It is alright if you move from down to okay. You climb a ladder one rung at a time. Move along!

Think in terms of moving in a direction. You may start off slow and small but you speed up and make improvements along the way.

Think Positive Thoughts Speak Positive Words

Celebrate, be grateful. Live with appreciation for anything and everything. Nothing is too small nor too large to feel gratitude for. Nothing is too negative to not find some aspect to be thankful for.

Learn to look for the silver linings hidden in the dark clouds. The more you are filled with genuine thanks for everything the quicker your life transforms. Count your blessings! Feel the feelings!

Only you can do this for yourself. No one can do it for you. The more you focus on feeling wonderful the more wonderful you will eventually feel. What you think about you bring about!

Do not seek happiness and complain you don’t have it. Focus on and notice the distance decreasing not how far you must travel. Learn to manage your mindset and expectations.

Stay focused on feeling better bit bit, however small that bit may be. Step by step you will make your way. Be gentle and encouraging of yourself as you journey. Keep your talk and self-talk positive.

Live Love Laugh Celebrate

Love yourself. Accept yourself even if you don’t feel like it. Respect yourself and speak well of yourself. Think the best. Speak to yourself nicely.

Love yourself as if you are a small child learning the way for the very first time. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Be gentle, nudge yourself along. No one is perfect when first learning to do new things.

Smile more. Laugh! Skip, sing, dance and move. Go for walks. Spend some time out doors sitting quietly enjoying nature. Walk barefoot, ground yourself. Relax, meditate take time for yourself. Have a bath and make yourself comfortable.  Enjoy pleasant simple activities.

You eat an elephant bite by bite. No reason to bite off more than you can chew. Take it easy. Have faith. Know that if you do even just a little bit each day, that is more than you might have done and be happy. A little bit each day adds up. You will surprise yourself soon.

Keep Doing It Don’t Stop

Listen to motivational and inspirational audio. Read positive material each day. Seek out positive and productive people to spend time with. Attend positive events and seminars if you are able.

Look for the positive in all circumstances, events and people. Keep focused on what you can do. Celebrate and feel the very best. You can do this bit by bit. Just keep at it. Keep doing these things.

Soon you will be more positive than negative. Soon you will feel better and better. You will become what you think about most often and the results you get will reflect that. You will live with more joy and delight than you can presently imagine! Don’t wait. Transform your life into something amazing. Begin today!” Rex Sikes

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HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Make today count!

Enjoy what is glorious about you today!

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He Turned His Back On The Lions. Could You?

savvy-quote-at-any-given-moment-you-have-the-power

“Can you imagine turning your back on the lions if you were stuck in a cage with them? That is what he did. Before we get to that I want to remind you of an ancient piece of wisdom you might like to consider and embrace.

There’s an ancient story to illustrate the way you can remain centered and not get hooked.  In order to get unhooked and not buy into drama you have to develop another attitude, a different mindset. Once this mindset is in place all aspects of your world become different. Everything is enhanced.

There was a man whose horse ran away. The villagers exclaimed what a misfortune this was. The man replied, ‘maybe’.  A day or two later the horse returned bringing with it three more horses. The town people exclaimed, ‘you are lucky how fortunate to have more’. The man replied again only with ‘maybe’.

A day or two later his son was riding one of the new horses  and was thrown breaking his leg. The town people exclaimed what a tragedy this was and again offered him sympathy. The man replied, ‘maybe’.

The next day war broke out and all able bodied men were conscripted. The military officials seeing the condition of the man’s son passed him by. The towns people all exclaimed how lucky he was because now his son would face battle. He and his son had been spared.  The man still replied, ‘maybe’.

We only see part of the picture at any time. The man knew anything is possible. The town’s people only saw a portion and reacted. We can let go of the outcome and respond as the man did if we condition ourselves to understand this. We only see a partial bit of any picture.

Anything is possible. It could be a blessing or a curse.  It could be true, as they say, or perhaps it could be otherwise. Time would tell. We don’t have to react we can respond.

It was stated this way in the Bible, ‘we see through a glass dimly’. We can’t see everything. We can’t possibly know everything. Yet, we act as if we do and that gets us in trouble. We have to let go, suspend our judgement. This present situation could be horrible or it could be the best thing that ever happened. We don’t know yet.

Often people look back years after hardship and they can trace the path from then to now. From this vantage point, years later, frequently they point to a cataclysmic event and say ,’that was the turning point for me. Had that not happened I wouldn’t be here now’, or ‘I wouldn’t be as successful as I am. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.’

Years later we see what we didn’t see it going through it. At the time of the event It doesn’t occur to us that this may be an incredible opportunity disguised as a disaster. Nor do we see it could be a legitimate disaster within which there is the seed of an opportunity.

We don’t know. Maybe we should suspend judgement. The verdict is not in yet and we should wait and see.

The old man knew you can label any situation however you want to label it and that does not make it so. He didn’t judge it so he didn’t get caught up by it.

He didn’t get hooked into it as the others did.They lived one moment happy and the next upset. Then happy then upset. They were like corks adrift on a sea.

The old man was steady whatever came his way he took it in stride. He was the one in charge. The world still occurred around him and influenced he and his son but he chose how he would respond to his circumstance. The old man was wise. You and I can be too.

If you make a mistake on your journey and you do something that disappoints you, or you are not proud of, acknowledge it. Recognize it. Determine not to do it in the future and choose what and how you want to respond instead.

Focus on what you want. Do not what you don’t want. Praise yourself, be grateful for the awareness and the opportunity to change it. Make restitution with yourself and whomever else may be party to it.

Do the best you have with what you have at the time.  If you make a mistake, if you fall, correct it, get up and move forward. Let go of the past. Extract the important lesson to learn. Don’t blame yourself or others or make excuses. Accept it and move forward.

You can evolve when you learn from mistakes and failures. You have the opportunity to clarify what you want when smacked in the face with what you don’t want. All can benefit you in profound ways. So fill yourself with gratitude and celebration.

Condition your mind. What you focus on you become. Develop the belief that you are the type of person who can handle anything in positive ways. If you believe it you can become that person. If you believe you can respond instead of react then you will develop the ability.

Your attitude determines your altitude! Your mindset, what you believe and expect of yourself, determines what results you are able to create or get back.

Focus on living a positive life. Focus on learning to respond. Think ‘this or something better is coming to me’.

There is the biblical story of Daniel and the lions. Daniel was thrown into a den of lions. Once inside he turned his back on the lions and trusted the lord.

What a poignant teaching example.Trust! Have faith! He turned his back on and ignored his troubles. He didn’t look at them. He looked elsewhere. He trusted.

He didn’t focus on his worry, fear, or doubt, he looked away. He turned away from what he didn’t want and towards what he wanted. He let go of the problem and had faith that he would be okay.

Of course, he didn’t know he would be okay. It took faith. It took courage. It took trust that there was something better. It took the conviction that these circumstances would not defeat him.

Whether you take the story literally or as a metaphor there is great value in it. He faced his problems and then turned from his problems to the solution. He had faith that the outcome would be positive. What a great example!

At this time, you could be enduring your own personal “den of lions”. The key is not to put your focus on your current situation but trust that it will all work out. Put your focus on what you want, the solution, and not on the problem. Create and make happen what you want to make happen. Don’t succumb to the circumstances.

A couple of my favorite Bible verse are: ‘all things work together for good.’ There are many others in all ancient texts I like. I keep them in mind during trying times. Another one, I remind myself of, again and again, is ‘no weapon formed against me shall prosper’.

Expect the best!

I like those two verses because they reminds me I can move through this world, and any situation, with confidence things will always turn out right no matter what. I will always land on my feet. Everything will work out in the end.

There may be an incredible hardship you face right now but ultimately, things will turn out for the best in the long run. They always seem to. Keep it in mind. Learn to respond as the old man. Trust, as Daniel did.

When I remember this I can let things go. I move forward and surprise myself with my ‘enlightened’ responses. When I forget it I get hooked hard. Usually because a big part of me knows I don’t have to be hooked but I go ahead and get hooked anyway. Silly, right?

We are not perfect and shouldn’t hope to be. We are perfectly imperfect. We are living beings we aren’t carved from stone. We live, we change, we grow, we adapt and we don’t.

Sometimes we remain stuck for awhile. Sometimes we walk backwards, but usually for not very far. At times we walk in the light other times we search in darkness. We will make mistakes.

We will disappoint ourselves and others. Make good when we do. Never ignore that. Do what is right by you and by them. Always have faith in a better day. The sun rises tomorrow. It becomes a new day.

Take 100% responsibility for creating all circumstances. Trust that things will work out. Expect them to. Focus on what you want. Make your dreams come true because only you can. Believe it. What you think about the most you become.

Affirm it. Live It! These blog pages give you the keys how to do this. You can develop the champion mindset. Use these principles and methods to evolve your life into something beyond wonderful! You can live, laugh, love! Celebrate!” Rex Sikes

Delight in this day!

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Perhaps The Most Important Question You Ever Ask Yourself

when-your-desires-are-strong-enough-you-will-appear-to-possess-superhuman-powers-to-achieve-napoleon-hill

“As a young actor, with my buddies at the time, we entertained a question. Turns out it is a very important question. At the time we only gave lip service to it but didn’t ask it in our hearts. Maybe the others did but I certainly didn’t. It was nothing more to me than a mere intellectual curiosity.

That question was and is, ‘If your success were absolutely guaranteed 25 or more years from now. Without question, you would be then a huge star. You would have everything you want. It is yours. How would you live your life between now and then?’

(Okay – housekeeping note – this is a long one. But do please read to the end. I didn’t want to divide it into installments as I could have.)

Most of us assumed we would stay in workshops and continue the pursuit. Then after discussing the question we continued to do what a lot of actors and others do. We went on complaining about our agents, managers, the casting directors who weren’t seeing us and all the producers and directors who were missing out on our great talents.

We went to classes, those who had part time jobs did them, others worked full time while trying to pursue a career. Some married and with children some without. Juggling a career in the movie business with partner, kids and job can be quite a challenge. Being single, lonely and alone is challenging too.

It is hard in show biz and you know what, it is hard in any career. Becoming an actor, film director, producer, writer, editor and all the rest it’s tough to get in and it is tough to sustain. There is no formula you can follow out of college. Everyone succeeds is an individually unique way.

While traditional businesses offer more provincial routes to success it is not easy there either. Whether you want to be a doctor, lawyer, politician, engineer, realtor, investor, banker, fireman, educator and on and on each has there own share of difficulty and sacrifices that require making.

So back to the question regardless of what career you are in or which one you want to be in. Back to the question even if it isn’t a career that concerns you but life in general. “What would you do if happiness and success were absolutely guaranteed but not for a very long time from now? How would you live between now and then?’

Here is the reason I ask. In order to succeed in anything, the easiest way is to believe you will succeed. You have to know what you want, you have to have a burning desire for its fulfillment and you have to have faith that it is yours and on the way.

You must believe you can make it happen. These were conditions and principles put forth by Andrew Carnegie (at one time the world’s richest man) and through Napoleon Hill (the author of Think & Grow Rich) commissioned by Carnegie to study success.

Hill stated that, ‘whatever the mind of can conceive and believe can be achieved’. It begins with thought and how we manage our thought. It is brought forth by our intense feelings, our passion and desire for its attainment.

It is delivered through unrelenting faith that we will succeed no matter what obstacles rise up before us. It is ours and we will persist until we can claim it.

Said another way, ‘What we hold in our head we will some day hold in our hands’, and ‘What we think about we bring about’. I would add in, ‘what we totally feel in our hearts, all the incredible feelings’ puts the fuel in our engines to get us where we want to go.

Great, we know the formula. What does that have to do with the question. The question is what do you do between now and then when success is unconditionally guaranteed? If you believe that is true, which I did not as a young actor, I thought it was a nice, fanciful idea but nothing is guaranteed, you will operate in a particular way.

You will live from this conviction and it will shape everything you think and do. If you unquestionably know it is yours you live with the confidence that you will have it. It feels good to own it even if it takes a while to claim it. It is yours. It is a given. You are successful and happy. Why would you ever let anything rain on your parade in the meantime?

You have everything you want coming to you. Celebrate and be glad. If you compare now to then and you focus on what you don’t yet have then you get pain and end up in a world of hurt. THAT is what I did. I thought, nice idea but I am suffering and I need it now. You must not think like that!

You must focus on what you want and what you know is coming your way and not on what you don’t want and don’t have.

You will never be happy or successful focused on negativity. You won’t get rich focused on lack. You get happy and rich and successful by first being those on the inside. If you knew ultimately you would triumph why would you ever chose not to live like a successful, happy victor? You wouldn’t if you were convinced you would be, do and have everything you want.

That is Carnegie’s and Hill’s third principle. In order to be successful you must expect to be successful. You must know it in your mind and heart and soul and in every fiber of your being. You must be unstoppable and never deterred.

Every cell, every atom in you knows you will win. This is the mindset we must have to have what we want.

you atract what you focus on

Instead, I focused on my bills, girlfriends or no girlfriends, not having the big home or cars as others did. I focused more on how I wasn’t working enough and how unfair it was that others got breaks that I didn’t. On and on and on it went. I was consumed by all the woe in my life. Whether actual or imagined.

So the question was posed, I thought about it and dismissed it as a curiosity. Nice to entertain but unrealistic. Yet, later I learned that Hill studied over 500 of the wealthiest, most successful powerhouses of his day and that since his work others have done similar and guess what.

Carnegie and Hill were correct. You have to know what you want. You have to feel it as already belonging to you.  You have to know this and want it and feel it coming to you with your entire being! You must keep that faith. In the future you are already victorious! You will have everything you want when you truly believe it.

Decades ago I would have called that magical or mystical,fairytale thinking. Nice but cheesy. NOW I know so much better how true it actually it is.  It has worked in my own life and continues to and I have seen it work, and helped make it work in countless others’ lives.

When we know what we want we determine where we want to end up. We know what the end result is. We do not yet have to know how to get there but we must know what we want to be, do and have. If we don’t define it and clarify it there is nothing to aim at. The mind needs a well defined clear target.

We must feel it with a burning desire. If we don’t want if very much we won’t do very much to make it happen. We will be lazy and accept whatever. We will drift and not amount to much of anything.

Think about all those romance movies where the valiant swashbuckling hero has to overcome all sorts of tremendous odds in order to win the lady’s heart. He has to win her, overcome insurmountable odds and difficulties and make it back to claim her love.

He has to really want her to fight for her all the way! He has to know that he will fight to the death and come away winning her hand or he is not all in. You must be all in. You must be passionately and wholly committed. You can’t play half assed and expect to win the prize.

WHY? because with a clear target and positive powerful emotions your brain then totally gets it. There is no question about what it is you desire. It is completely clear. Message received!

In order to keep the mind on track you have to stay on target. That is where faith and feelings come in. You have to feel it is yours. You deserve it. It is yours no question.

There are no doubts, no worry, no fears. It is only a matter of time that this or something better will be fulfilled. You are all in and will never give up no matter what.

Now your brain goes to work for you. It makes connections, associations, organizes and utilizes  all your resources and abilities to help you make it happen. You become confident in yourself, positive and powerful.

You trust yourself to make it happen. Where there is will there is a way. You are a champion, of course you will triumph! There is no other outcome that could happen. Your success is guaranteed!

Your mind is alerted to possibilities and opportunities. You become sensitized to these in the same way as when you purchase a new car and suddenly, notice all the same make and model on the streets. You look for opportunity and discover them where none seemed to previously exist.

You find yourself drawn to likeminded positive successful people. You discover events and circumstances working for you. Obstacles and challenges provide lessons which you extract, and you adapt and adopt and continue to move forward.

If you know success is yours you let nothing stand in the way. You know that ultimately nothing can or will prevent you from claiming what it is you want. You are already a success within!

So while it may sound like magic this is what we have learned from successful people during the past century and from well beyond that. This is how the kings and rulers think. This is how those born to wealth and privilege think. This is how the successful shakers and doers think. Their mindset paves the way for the results they want to achieve. ‘As above so below. As within so without.’

It is true there are some of trust fund babies who squander their good fortune and make a mess of their lives. By far the majority of successful people will, IF THEY WANT YOU TO KNOW IT, tell you they always knew they would do well and succeed at whatever they wanted. There was NEVER any question. NEVER ANY QUESTION!

For the rest of us we need to cultivate this mindset. We weren’t born into circumstances where we grew up knowing one day all this would be ours. We didn’t have a life where money was no object.

Anything and everything at anytime could be had for a price and we could afford it. We didn’t live this way. Good or bad, right or wrong, thankfully or not we have to develop the winner attitude on our own.

desire backed by faith

The greatest news for human kind may be that it is ABSOLUTELY POSSIBLE to do! WE CAN DO IT! We can change our lot in life by taking control of our thoughts and feelings and we can begin getting the results we want, and may have always wanted.

THIS is why it is true that the past does not equal the future because no matter what failure, heartbreak or disappointment you may have had in the past YOU CAN RIGHT NOW CHANGE IT FOR THE BETTER!

The decision is yours. You can blow it off as I did the question or you can decide now to turn your life around and start getting everything you deserve. You can live abundantly without having to deprive anyone else of anything too. You can make your dreams come true.

The decision is yours. The time is now. It is a journey but a worthwhile one and the true value of which you will only know once you get on the road. Become unstoppable. Become convinced that you will be, have and do everything you want.

Put these practices to work and discover what I and countless others have discovered, and are discovering. This mind stuff works!!! It absolutely, truly does! There is amazing, dynamic energy and power in a committed, firm decision. It may be unlike anything you have ever experienced up until now.

If you are like some people you may have to get close to hitting bottom before you act in your own best interests. I was like that. The painful signal value had to be really loud, strong and hurtful to get my attention.

If you are like some others, you see the value of an opportunity as it is presented to you. You can make the decision without having to suffer.

Sadly, there will be those, in both groups who do nothing because they simply don’t know any better. That was me too. I couldn’t see opportunity when presented, I was suspicious. I didn’t know enough consider something as that question worthy of my attention so blew it off.

Then I had to let life circumstances and my own negative and bad feelings get strong enough to make me exclaim, ‘I don’t want to live like this anymore! I must do something.’ I began to search.

THIS is what I found. Even then, I dabbled. I dipped my toes in. I went a way for a few years but I kept encountering myself again and again in less than glorious ways. Finally, I decided, ‘I really can’t live this way. I have to change and I will do whatever is required to change it!’ In that moment, I became freer.

I decided I was 100% responsible for anything and everything that happened to me. I would be a victor and a champion. I would fill my mind with positive thoughts and my being with positive glorious feelings.

If I fell I would commit to getting up. If I didn’t feel like it I would forge ahead anyway. There were many times I fell and countless times I didn’t feel like it.

Bottom line: If I can do this ANYONE else in the world can do this too. I am not special, I am not smarter, I am no one at all, just another person on a journey. I committed to it and change began happening.

Slowly, no evidence at all that anything was changing, but in time I felt better. No miracles, nothing. Shit still hit the fan. At first, I was confused and wondered why bad things were still happening but I soon learned it was my response to situations that made the difference. Wondering why only threw me back into negativity.

I learned I had to manage my thinking and steer it back to what I wanted and to focus on what I now have and what I am creating for the future. I have to and had to apply these principles repeatedly to make them a habit.

I was used to doing things other ways before so I had to learn the new ways and make these automatic, AS automatic, as the old ways of doing things. Once that happens it does get easier and easier.

Eventually, I began to notice, not only feeling better and better as a result of my mind, feelings and life becoming more positive, but small wins. Little things, positive things began happening more and more frequently and as they did I felt grateful and celebrated all I could. Gratitude opens a doorway to let so much more come in!

More wins, eventually, bigger wins. The seed sprouted, the tiny plant grows before becoming big and strong. Even more. The feelings and thoughts and results I were getting fed each other. As I felt better more things good seemed to happen. As more good things happened the better I felt. It is as if I can’t separate the two. It is quite glorious!

YET, still there are challenges and that is absolutely okay. I learn from them. I am resolved to being a life long learner. One can’t know everything. So I learn from opportunity and challenges alike. It is so wonderful!

I still fall and I get back up. Not each one is easy to get back up from but it is far easier than before. There is just no way to share how incredible this all is in my life. Words just don’t seem adequate. You really have to experience it for yourself as countless, COUNTLESS others have.

Quotation-Napoleon-Hill-mind-influence-responsibility-positive-Meetville-Quotes-92860

Countless, but the number is far smaller than those who won’t. That is truly sad. They are used to doing things the way they have been doing them. A wise old friend spoke these words, ‘I am awakened, it is true. Once I slept but I awoke and it is glorious. You are sleeping now but one day you too will awaken. That is just how it is.’

We are ready when we are ready. No blame, no excuses, nothing. We come to change in our own time. I love my life and I didn’t always feel that way. I love it and adore it. Funny, but as I typed these words I just had an agent phone me to come in for a call back in two days.

Make your dreams come true. Commit to yourself and making your world better. When you do you find you also want everyone else to have a better world too. Great things await you if you will only claim them and make them yours. If you haven’t already done so do it today!” Rex Sikes

Make today incredible!

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The Easy Way To Keep Your Life & Career From Going Bad

don't make excuses make good

” The goal, as I write  in these pages, is to feel the best you are able to at any given moment. Even, if you only feel a little bit better, that is what matters. It matters that you move yourself in the positive direction of feeling good. The results can be amazing!

It absolutely matters that YOU choose what you want to make yourself feel because it has an incredibly powerful and profound lasting effect. Your life can absolutely change from bad to better and from better to best when you apply these principles and practices.

Steer Toward The Positive

I have mentioned numerous times that it is necessary to cultivate the ability to steer back toward the positive. This is a skill that can be developed. ‘How?’ you ask. Take 100% responsibility for your thoughts and feelings. Promise yourself you will learn to be in charge.

Train your mind to see the good in everything. Train yourself to find the best feelings you are able to at all times. Keep your focus on the positive. What seems impossible to do at first and requires discipline becomes easier and easier the more you do it.

Develop These Abilities As Habits

Make your thoughts and feelings work for you instead of you working for them. It is said about the wealthy they don’t work for their money. They have learned how to make their money work for them. It’s true! They make money while they sleep from a variety of sources.

The same is true about your thoughts, attitude and mindset. Make your mind work for you instead of you being a victim of it. Learn to control your thoughts and feelings. Be the master not the servant. They do not teach you this in school unfortunately.

Usually, we are taught we have no control over anything but if we work hard we can succeed. Consider it one of the best kept secrets ‘they’ don’t want you to know about. You can control your thoughts and feelings.

Your Mind Is The One Thing You Can Have Complete Control Of

Once you master your mind you can shut it off. You can give up control once you have it, whenever you like. Once you learn that your thoughts are subject to your will you realize YOU are bigger than your thoughts. You are bigger than your thoughts.

You will be in charge of the thoughts you think instead of you thinking that the thinking is going on outside of your control. Do you get that? It is a silly thought to think that you can’t control what you think. Why would you ever think that. You wouldn’t if you were in charge of your thoughts.

You think those kind of silly things because somewhere in your life time you co-opted the thoughts of others. You didn’t even realize that was what you were doing while it was going on but it was.

You adopted thoughts from others as your own instead of thinking for yourself. Realize you have power to seize control and seize it!  Anyone can do it. Few actually will. Be one of the few that do instead of the countless that won’t. Make your live wonderful!

If you think silly, useless or stupid, destructive thoughts, or weak, wimpy, powerless thoughts that is what you get back. You will get back in results THE Results of your crappy ineffective thinking. Is that what you want? If the answer is no then now is the time to learn to take control.

Decide What You Will Think And Feel

Control means you decide what you will think and feel. It means you allow what you want to experience and ignore or eliminate that which you don’t. It means you can start thoughts that help you and stop those that don’t. When you want to meditate or relax you can choose your thoughts or turn them off.

You can’t relinquish control if you don’t have it in the first place. You have to be in control to let go of control. Control means you train your mind and make your mind YOUR servant. Make your mind work for you automatically instead of you working for it.

You only have to  move yourself incrementally in the right direction bit by bit over time, repeatedly, in order to learn how to manage your thoughts and feelings. It is similar to learning to ride a bike or drive a car or anything else you have ever learned to do. It is a skill, and ability you can get better at and get good at the more you do it.

Correct Repetition Builds Skill And Brings Benefits

The more you do it and the better you get at it the more confidence and competence you develop. The more you do it the more you are able to do and the better you feel. It continues this way. Everything begins getting better because you started making small but purposeful changes.

The art is learning to promote what you want to grow and enjoy and to let go of that which causes pain or suffering. Plenty occurs in the world that we might get caught up in for any length of time. Awareness, is when we notice we are not doing what we want to, we are not working according to plan and we steer back onto track.

Instead of feeling bad about going off course we celebrate getting back on course. All of us can go off course. That is part of living. Getting back on course is what we learn to do. We are gentle and loving and accepting of ourselves through it all. We find reasons to enjoy life and celebrate.

If I Can Do It I Know You Can Probably Do It Even Better

I choose to think about my children. I focus on how lucky I am to have them in my life and how great I feel. I count my blessings in many other ways. Family, friends, opportunity, difficult life lessons, experiences, travels, talents, events, all make up my life and my world. I am grateful for all of it. My life is perfect each moment.

When I focus on these things, before you know it, I feel much better. It is easy to feel better when we devote a bit of time to it. Because birds of a feather flock together once we find the first thing, or first few things to celebrate more flock to our mind. We find other things to become thankful about and celebrate.

Remember all the reasons you usually feel delighted. Don’t just intellectually recount these but feel them. Really allow yourself to feel the gratitude and the celebration.

I write this today because sometimes we can benefit from a nudge in the right direction. Keep at it. Make it a habit. It gets easier and easier. Any bumps in the road are there for you to learn how to not be thrown of course by bumps in the road. Pretty soon you can navigate pretty much any way. Enjoy and celebrate the process!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today!

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Do This One Tiny Change And You Can Move Mountains!

take the first step in faith MLK

“Some people think in order to make positive, permanent, pervasive, change that they must change everything at once in order to get anything at all. That is just not true. What is true is you must change something but you don’t need an entire make over.

You have heard me say, or you have read in my writings a favorite quote, ‘drop by drop fills the tub’. Or I ask, how do you eat and elephant? Answer,  ‘Bite by bite’. You know the famous quote, ‘A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step’.

Small changes can be powerful. When NASA shoots a rocket to the moon its internal guidance correction system is making micro corrections all the while to keep it on course. That’s because if the rocket blasts off and is 1/10 of 1% off course near the time of lift off within a short while it will be hundreds of thousands, even millions of miles off course.

If you were driving straight in the salt flats and you turned your wheel just a tiny bit and locked it in right there soon you would be miles and miles away from the straight line you were traveling in. That small adjustment takes you way off in another direction.

So it is true if you are aiming at a target destination and you get off course by only the tiniest little bit you will be off course by a lot very soon.

The other truth is if you want to change your life it only takes a little bit of change to make a serious amount of large change. That tiny correction you make will take you very far in improving your life.

You exclaim, ‘I don’t have the time, the energy or the money to make changes right now!’  That is okay. Make one small change you can stick with and you will be amazed with the results you can get.

Whatever it is. Perhaps, it is dedicating yourself to reading a page or more of inspirational material each and every day when you get up. That isn’t much to commit to. 1 single page. Certainly, you could do more if you want but you could do at least a page.

Maybe you decide to listen to inspirational audio while you drive. That’s a great time to listen to motivational inspiring speakers. It is also a great time to shout out with enthusiasm your daily affirmations. It’s an excellent time for either or for both.

Or, you decide to spend 5 minutes focused on your goals first thing in the morning when you get up. You visualize yourself seeing yourself as already having all the changes you want. You imagine living and behaving in that positive reality.

Perhaps, you spend 5 minutes laughing when you arise. 5 minutes non-stop laughing. Or you laugh during your drive. You could commit to smiling more though out the day. Maybe, you commit to doing things each day that put a smile on someone else’s face.

You might decide to spice up your life by trying new things. You  use your opposite hand to eat, shave, comb your hair. You drive different ways to school or work. You walk places you have never been. You sleep with your head at the foot of the bed. Anything!

You keep a journal of all you are grateful for and as you list each thing you real spend a moment feeling the wonderful feelings. You decide to be nicer to the people around you.

You pay attention and really listen to people to understand. You monitor and manage your self-talk for a certain amount of time during the day. You meditate for 5, 20, 30 minutes a day.

You make it a point to stop complaining and blaming and you only speak about those things that uplift and make you and others feel good. You accentuate the positive. You speak only to bless, heal and prosper yourself and others.

You don’t have to do all of these.You could. Certainly they are all manageable.  But don’t bite off more than you can chew.

Pick one and commit to doing for no less than 30 days and perhaps a whole lot more. You will be surprised at what a difference it can make.

A little change, like a little faith, can move mountains.

Maybe, as you go along you discover you want to and can add in other things.  DO whatever pleases you and makes you feel wonderful.

But if you do nothing nothing will change.” Rex Sikes

Fill your day with delight!

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Maybe Therapy Sucks But You Shouldn’t!

you atract what you focus on

“Alright, you may be offended by the previous blog. Some people may be others won’t be. That is ok. Everyone is entitled to respond however they respond. However you respond says more about you and what are your concerns are than is about my blog.

If you have read my blogs or followed my discussions for years you know I make the case that two people can go and watch the same movie side by side. When they exit one loved it the other hated it. Neither opinion has anything to do with the actual movie. This, of course, you already realize.

Who Is In Charge Of Your Brain

Their response to the movie has everything to do with their mindset, their expectations, their values, their experience of and during the movie. It is a comment about what they like or don’t like and has nothing to do with the movie at all.

It only seems to have something to do with the movie. After all is said and done it is their opinions. Professional movie critics simply provide their opinions and nothing else. You may see the movie and agree or wholly disagree with them. The movie is the movie – whether you like it or not IS YOUR REACTION or YOUR RESPONSE to the movie.

This applies to everything else in life. Life happens and we react to it or we respond to it. The key to success IS learning to respond rather than react. Be in charge of your thoughts. Run your brain don’t let it run you!

I have no monopoly on “truth’. I do not profess to. My opinion is not able to encompass every example and counter example in the world so I don’t try to. Still, you have to be above the yard stick in order to see both ends. What does that mean, Rex? It means, you have to have enough distance from the topic to see both ends or all sides.

Remember, every coin has more than one face. A diamond is multi faceted. No article or speech or book can encompass everything about the subject. So while trying to be fair I don’t try to encompass everything. That would be futile. I assume my readers are smart enough to know this. And you are.

Many Roads Lead To Rome Travel Well

Okay, it may have upset some of you (YOU)  that I said therapy sucks. My article, the point, the premise, theme, the thesis, remains exactly the same if you remove any and all reference to therapy from it. Forget therapy altogether. Take it completely out and read the article. Same with this article. In case, this fine point has eluded you.

The article is about you! The article is about me! The article is about the locus of control. It  had far less to do with therapy than with getting you to think about where you attribute the source of your suffering and the source of your resourcefulness. It is about whether or not you are ‘at cause’ or ‘at effect’.

Frankly, it only had to do with therapy to the extent that some practice that form too. Most people do it already in their everyday lives. Most people haven’t been in therapy. TAKE everything I said about therapy out and the article is the same article.

In my life it is me. It is Rex. ‘I’ am responsible. No one and nothing else  in my life but me. I am 100% responsible for my thoughts, my suffering and my bliss. I am the creator in and of my life circumstances. I am responsible for where I lay blame for problems.

You Alone Are 100% Responsible For Enjoying Your Journey

Either I put it on me or I put it onto others or on circumstances. I say the blame, I mean the buck. The buck lands squarely on my shoulders and my shoulders alone. NO ONE and NO THING else! I am 100% the creator of my life and responsible for my thoughts, feelings, behaviors and results. The buck stops with me.

EVEN if this is not completely an accurate representation of reality. Maybe there is an outer world that influences. I am not asserting that I am god if I say I create all of my experience so please don’t go there. I am saying a useful platform to work from is to adopt the notion that everything is up to me EVEN if it actually isn’t.

Consider Victor Frankl. Think about being imprisoned. Someone may take my liberty away. I may not be able to control that BUT I can control my response to a very disagreeable situation.

I can make it the best situation possible given the circumstances. I may be able to celebrate and remain totally free in mind and experience freedom even when incarcerated. This is what control means. This is what focus means. It means make the best of everything because you are in charge. When life gives you lemons…

It can either suck terribly or it can be incredible. YOU, ME our thoughts about it, our response to it, determines how we go through it. NOTHING ELSE DOES! Frankl wrote about this in ‘Man’s Search For Meaning’ if you have not read it you may want to.

Make The Most Of Your Circumstances

So when I say I blame myself I don’t mean I blame.  I mean I am willing to take responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, responses, actions and behaviors. I take responsibility for the results I get.

Millionaires are made during bad economies. While some are whining and blaming the banks, their jobs, the government, and others for a tough time some people are happily making money. It isn’t the outer circumstances it is what you think about the outer circumstances that makes the difference! From within so without!

It isn’t about blaming and criticizing oneself rather it is about learning who is in charge and doing whatever it takes to be in charge. Instead of blaming oneself for shortcomings celebrate the awareness! When you notice the heat, the hurt, the suffering, the fear or anger celebrate the awareness.

Then shift your attention so that you productively use your awareness to evolve. For god sakes don’t get mired down in self criticism. That leads no where fast. Celebrate! Give yourself praise and encouragement for noticing what wasn’t working and put your attention on what works. Focus on what you CAN DO instead of whining about what you can’t do.

The bottom line. If you think my post is crap and I am wrong that is absolutely fine with me. IF you prefer to focus on what doesn’t work and where you are weak so be it. You think you should work on your weaknesses and improve on those. Go for it.

Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude – Your Belief Determine What You Do – What You Think And Do Determines Your Results

You think you need to uncover the dirt in order to change. OK I get it. I mean this is in no pejorative way. I totally get it. Do whatever you need to do to maintain your status quo. There is room in the world for a variety of approaches and I have no monopoly on truth.

I wrote my article to bring awareness to the issue. I mean no disrespect. You like doing it your way. You like therapy. It is okay to like therapy. There are many approaches I like as well.

When I say the number 1 reason why therapy sucks I mean that IS the number one reason.  I never said all therapy sucks or never go or have therapy. If you read that YOU read that into my post. I didn’t put it there.

I Have Set The Alarm

My words are like an alert signal! I am sounding an alarm. In this day and age I believe rightfully so. There are abuses out there. Just as there are great therapists out there. Consider this; you may argue not all therapy is bad and I should not have said ‘therapy sucks’.

What if we change the premise to ‘all therapy is good’. Is that equally true or are their exceptions, as well? Might you find times and places and practices that are not good? Are there abuses in the field? See nothing is all one way or the other. There is nuance. Am I obliged to find all the ways that therapy wasn’t good then? I think not.

If you want therapy that is fine. Hopefully, having been alerted,  you look for a compassionate good therapist instead of accepting any old therapist. You seek the best approach and the most qualified worker.

BUT AGAIN none of this post or the previous post IS actually about therapy at all. It may still be difficult to understand this! I repeat, it is about where you put the responsibility and the practices and habits you have in life. It is about what you do most frequently during your daily life at work, at play, at home.

If you examine and search for reasons you are broken you will find them. If you look for ways to blame your family, friends, co-workers, yourself or the world you will find them. If you search for talents and abilities you excel at you will find those. If you look for ways to uplift and celebrate others and the world you will find them as well.

Whatever you focus on expands. You become what you think about. What you think about you bring about.

Some concepts are hard to give up. Some concepts are difficult to accept. Some things take time too. Its okay! I get it. Take all the time you need. But know this because it is important.

What You Believe Determines Your Reality

Perception is everything and it truly is. If you think you need to sift through all the troubles from the past in order to come out clean, so be it. Then you have to do that in order to fulfill what you believe; you will do whatever you must to remain internally consistent.

Go do it. But use this as a rule. You become what you think about most of the time. So stay focused on the positive, stay focused on what you want, keep focused on your strengths at least 80% of your time. Use 80/20 as a guide. Actually, I’d prefer 99 to 1% but okay 80 to 20. Most of us live this way anyway.

We can’t be 100% positive (unless we actually can be – that may just be a limiting belief) so any percentage points higher after 50/50 positive/negative is a step in the right direction. 51% positive is moving in the right direction. Keep on moving in the right direction!

Because what you focus on expands, because what you think about you become keep your mind on all the most marvelous aspects of you most of the time. Think the best thoughts. Affirm your positivity. Live in gratitude. Maintain a champion mindset. Live, lough, laugh!

The other 20% of the time, if you feel you want to or must, go ahead and develop your weaknesses. Go ahead and sift through the less than glorious stuff. You can have your cake and eat it too in this regard. You can develop weaknesses there is nothing WRONG in doing that.

Spend 80% Of Your Time Thinking And Feeling Good

Whether or not you resolve past issues during the 20% or whether you skyrocket ahead during the 80% time you focus on the glorious doesn’t matter. You will move forward at whatever the rate and for whatever the reasons because you are devoted to improving.

You may not move as quickly the closer you are to 50/50 because that is how you remain stuck in ok. The more you UP the percentage MORE of the time the MORE likely you are to experience positive changes quicker and more easily. This is because what you spend your time  doing most determines what you get back.

Don’t be upset if you are a fan of therapy. No reason to bristle because I said focusing on shortcomings and negativity is not the best approach for making positive changes.

There is no reason to feel bad unless you insist on feeling bad. There is NO reason to feel bad because of what I write. It isn’t worth upsetting yourself over. The goal is to discover what you can do to live more successfully. Take your control back don’t give me any.

Your mission, should you accept it, is to be the very best you that you can be. Ultimately, when you are happy as you want to be, it won’t matter how you got there so much. As long as how you got there was wonderful for you and the others in your life. Include others in the fun too! I prefer to enjoy the journey along the way.

Make The Major Part Of Your Life The Good Part

Make the major part of your life the good part, the great part, the fun, loving, kind, enjoyable part and you will be surprised at how quickly you can be, do and have everything you want. When most of your hours are filled with love, joy, fun, and delight YOU are already living life in a more meaningful way.

Spend your time in delight, in gratitude and celebration. Appreciate where you came from, all the experiences and people in your life. Everything from the past has brought you to now. Celebrate this!

Appreciate and validate where you are today. Celebrate all. Know that great things are coming in the future and that you will accomplish wonderful things. Good things are now and on he horizon, even if you can not see them yet, good things are coming your way. Let them in!” Rex Sikes

Make up your mind to make your mind marvelous today!

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The Number 1 Reason Therapy Sucks!

talking about problems greatest addiction

“I might upset a lot of people with this but hang in there. Stay open as your read. You may feel a tendency to shut down and dismiss but keep an open mind. I know it can be difficult to listen (read) all the way through, especially in this day and age but give it a shot. Try it. Hear me out.

Some therapy will keep you in therapy forever because they want you to sift though all your pain, hurt, defeat, heartbreak, anger, sadness, every grievance you may have had because they believe buried deep within you are unresolved hurts and issues. You must bring them to light of day, work on them and over come them. This is very well meaning but not most effective.

This approach will keep you in therapy for a longer time. It is a ruse, a dirty trick played on you. The goal of therapy should be healing and to get out of therapy. This business model works against you since you are charged by the session the doctor makes more the less success you have. Your problems line their pockets with cash. This happens when the focus is on managing issues (in any field) instead of the resolution of issues. There may be legitimate reasons too. Not everything is cut from the same cloth.

The same applies to self help products and seminars when, after you purchase their product they continue to upsell you on why the original product didn’t work in the first place. While it can be true in therapy or with products and seminars some troubleshooting may be required none of it should make you feel inadequate about your abilities to change. You should be focused on what you can positively and proactively do to be able to live the life you want to live.

Therapy Should Search To Find Your Strong Points 

The goal should be to find solutions, resources, talents, abilities,all your strong points and to get you out of therapy. The focus in much therapy, as practiced, IS IN EXACTLY THE WRONG PLACE.  It keeps you locked into seeing a therapist.

Let me say there are scores of well intending, compassionate understanding people who value this therapeutic approach and I realize I am stepping down hard on their toes. There are many who practice and receive therapy who believe in it. Benefit can be found anywhere if you look for it.

I have the utmost respect for all these people and do not intend to cause any discomfort – other than the mental kind that comes with entertaining an opposing idea. This is a call to examine and to be open and to improve the work that good people want to accomplish. It is meant to build in a particular direction not to tear down.

I hope you understand. That said, let’s move on!

Therapy Is Supposed To Be A Healing

It is supposed to be about Healing! Einstein said, ‘We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.’

You don’t heal the wound by continuing to pick at it. You treat it and let nature heal while you move on with your life. Digging into the wound, other than to immediately clean it out and identify what needs to be done, does not help it.

Understanding one’s problems and listing reasons for being stuck may placate for awhile but it does not necessarily resolve them. This approach causes us to continue to live with issues. We explore and find the reasons we are as we are.

We determine who or what we blame for our problems. We make excuses as to why we haven’t yet moved. Instead we should take responsibility for the problem, get over it and move ahead.

Energy Flows Where Your Attention  Goes

This concept has roots in most of the major religions. Napoleon Hill and the early thought leaders of the 20th century addressed this issue well. It is popularized in Law Of Attraction (LOA) literature.

Simply put: What you focus on expands. Whatever it is, good or bad, wanted or unwanted enlarges when you pay attention to it.  It expands when we put our attention on it. This is about where and how we place our attention!  Whatever you resist, persists! What you fight fights back.

Earl Nightengale stated it. So had Buddha, and Gandhi when they said,  ‘You become what you think about.’ This is another way of saying energy flows where your attention goes. What you think about you bring about. What you hold in your head you will hold in your hand.

It is the principle of Karma. It is cyclical. You get back what you put out there. Whatever you plant you will later reap. What you attempt to fix you focus on so you get more of the problem.

The problem for people attempting to resolve their problem this way is that focusing on the problem IS THE PROBLEM!

Birds Of A Feather Flock Together

The Law Of Attraction states like attracts like. Whatever it is! Good or bad! Positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative. SO if you are stuck and you focus on why you are stuck you get more stuck. It is simple really. What you think about you bring about.

No one tells you this because we have become so entrenched in thinking this is the way it is. We have been lead by an industry into thinking that digging a hole will get us closer to the other side. It won’t! We just end up with more and more dirt.

If you focus on what you do not want you put energy into what you do not want. How do you suppose you will get what you want while you are totally focused on what you don’t want? YOU WON’T!

No one tells you this because you are their paycheck. Even if they are well intending and it isn’t about the money this philosophy will keep you stuck for a long time. This form of therapy is not the answer. Caring people can nurture and promote a problem unintentionally. They don’t mean to but they don’t know any other way.

Withdraw The Energy From The Problem

The way of change is to withdraw the energy from the problem source. Let it go. Drop it. Then direct the mind to what you want instead. Focus on what you want and it expands. If you stop feeding plants or weeds they will wither and die. STOP FEEDING YOUR PROBLEMS!!!

The reason why a lot of change work doesn’t work and why people stay stuck IS because the solution to the problem does not exist at the same level the problem was created. We have to shift, step aside, go around, move over to the positive instead of focusing on the negative.

Stop It, Drop It, Let Go And Re-Direct Your Attention To Solutions

If you want your life to change you have to change things in your life. You can’t continue to do the same things over and over again and hope for a different positive result. It won’t happen. We are our habits and if we are habitually focused on what is wrong we are not ever going to get to what is right until we change those habits.

Focus On Your Strengths; Focus On What Is Right

You don’t get stronger focusing on your weaknesses. You don’t get better developing your weaknesses. You might get to mediocre by working on what you are least good at. You become the best by focusing on and developing what you are good at.

When you focus on your strengths, what you are best at, you have an opportunity to take them to a championship level. You maximize your strengths. You accentuate your abilities. Remember, whatever you focus on expands!

Instead of looking for why and where you are broken search for why and where you are good. Look for why and where you are healthy! Look for why and where you work perfectly well. Look for your resources. Look for you positive characteristics and attributes and emphasize those.

Develop Your Skills And Abilities

Get better at these. Develop you positive thoughts and feelings and you get more of them. What you focus on expands. You become what you think about! You will feel more positive about yourself. Your confidence and your competence will grow. You’ll begin to feel better and enjoy more well-being.

Stop focusing on how you aren’t enough and begin focusing on how you are more than enough. Focus on the light and life radiating within you. Stop getting in your own way by looking for dirt and begin to look for gold. It is there within, perhaps hidden, but you will find it as you look for it.

Develop your positive thoughts and feelings, attributes and characteristics. Develop the skills and abilities you are already good at. Your confidence and well being and wonderful thoughts about yourself will grow too and soon you will discover other positive truths about you. You’ll discover glorious feelings! You will rock your world.

Praise Yourself, Celebrate and Become Filled With Gratitude

Stop blaming and criticizing yourself. Be grateful for everything you have and don’t have. Be thankful for all of your experiences good and bad, for all the wonderful and all the horrible people in your life. Celebrate, be grateful, be free.

Take responsibility for it all! Don’t be a wimp don’t make excuses just accept responsibility for it all. 100% This puts you in charge. When you take control everything changes for the positive. You begin to determine the outcomes. You decide to live as a victor, a champion, and not a victim.

If you want your life to change you must change things in your life. Change your thoughts. Stop blaming yourself, others and the world! Accept total responsibility for everything. Even if you disagree with this premise it allows you to be in charge and at cause rather that at the effect of others and circumstances.

Choose! Would you rather live from a place of compassionate, benevolent power or would you prefer to be a slave and a victim to problems? Would you rather live strong or weak? It is completely up to you and ONLY you.

Stop looking for what is wrong and for what doesn’t work and begin to look for what is right. Develop these things! As you do you will stop being weak and you will start being strong. That happens when you come into your own power. You will celebrate yourself! You will also find reasons to celebrate others.

You will be nicer, friendlier, more loving and develop better relationships when you embrace your strengths. It is a natural part of your development when you focus on the positive rather than the negative. You become kinder. You become more accepting. You learn change is easier than you originally thought!

Transform Yourself And Your Entire Life Transforms

You develop a strong sense of helpfulness and co-operation while at the same time you learn to establish boundaries. You say yes to more of what you want and no to what you don’t want. You stop wasting your time and enjoy life more.  You end victimhood and you stop being a doormat when you take charge of your life.

It is amazingly powerful! This is life transforming! You learn to shift awareness from problems to solutions. You’ll move away from the unwanted toward the wanted; away from the negative to the positive. You will develop new positive habits for staying focused in positive ways on what works, what is helpful, what you want and enjoy!

Stop! Don’t be one of these people who spend years trying to figure out what is wrong. They would be better served if they focused on developing strengths instead of discovering their weaknesses

Keep in mind the American Psychiatric (and Psychological) Associations philosophies of practices focus on the diagnosis and treatment of problems. Keep in mind psychology, just like medicine, is a practice. It is about diagnosis and repair. These practitioners are not gods, they are only expressing opinions based on their training biases and really nothing more. Actually, that is true about anyone.

If all you have is a hammer you treat everything as a nail. If the focus is on problems you’ll find problems everywhere. This mindset applies to you and me first and foremost. We must look for solutions if we want to find them.

It is accurate to say that in USA we do not promote health and prevention as much as we practice diagnosis, repair and management when necessary. We have little in the way of preventative medicine in our country but this movement has been growing slowly for decades now. Still, one can see the obvious battle between the corporate powers that be and those helping to bring about change.

Concetrate On Health And Well-Being For Yourself

Even though we don’t promote wellness as much people can find benefit anywhere and everywhere. Nothing is written in stone. We can all change regardless of what approach we take. Be positive! Be optimistic. Expect to find solutions and you can.

Perception is everything as are our expectations. People tend to rise to what is expected of them! Look to what is healthy and positive! Look into what is healthy and is positive.

Your goal is to have an incredible, loving, fun-filled, joyous successful life. Perception is everything. Orientation is everything. Framing is everything. Don’t submit to the limitations of philosophies. You deserve better.

See solutions, talents, abilities, resources. See positive potential wanting to be released. There are victors who chose to live as victims because they drank ‘the sugary drink’.  Stop it! Believe in yourself. Believe in the ease at which you can change.

Let me make this point very clear. This blog is not about criticizing the system although there is plenty that could be said. This is not meant to criticize countless numbers of helpful, beneficial practitioners of change. If you are in therapy and it is working for you celebrate and be grateful. That is what it should be doing regardless of the approach. I am all for doing what works!

My emphasis is that people put attention in the wrong place. This should be very clear. Therapy, as practiced by many, sucks because of what people focus on. The emphasis is on the problem. The same is the case for people not in therapy. They put their attention in the wrong place. This post is about where you put your attention and where to put it to get the most benefit! Please don’t miss this point.

Change work should be about healing and solutions. It could be about resources and strengths. WHETHER OR NOT someone is in therapy the point remains the same because this is really NOT about therapy! If you focus on the negative that is what you get more of. Stop focusing so much on problems. If you are going to find a therapist find one who focuses on solutions! They are out there!

I must keep reminding the reader: this point of this post is where WE place OUR attention! You must place your attention where it does the most good! Focus on the positive, your talents, your abilities, your strengths. You will find more of them when you put your attention on these! If you want your life to change you must change things you are thinking, paying attention to, and doing. You have to change some things to change your life. When you focus on developing your strengths your confidence increases as a result.

Expect Change To Be Easy And It Will Be. Perception is Everything

You can live an amazing, wonderful, joy-filled life NO MATTER WHAT. Your past doesn’t equal your future. Whatever you did or however you lived before that was then. Now is the time to make the change. Now is the time to start developing the positive habits that you will use to have the best life ever!

Live victoriously. Claim it! Live as a victor. Live and think and act and feel like a winner. You deserve to. Have a glorious life! Focus on what you want and can do. Focus on enjoying it all. Celebrate and becoming grateful for everything.

Make the changes you want to make. You can be, do and have anything you want. So do it! Be responsible for your life from this moment forward. There are more incredible and delightful moments ahead for you than you can even begin to imagine right now!” Rex Sikes

What a wonderful new day to delight in!

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Are You Ready To Transform Your HoHum Life Into A More Positive, Successful, Rewarding One?

wattles universe wants you to have ur desires

“You would never think to put anything but the right fuel in the gas tank of your car, would you? Oddly, some people treat their cars and boats and planes better than they do themselves.

What You Feed Yourself Is Important

What you put into your system either nourishes you, builds you up, adds to your health or it does not. If you eat the right healthy food choices you can expect to be healthier than if you eat junk food and empty calories.

When you eat right you feel better, think better, behave better because you have provided your body the proper fuel it needs to go about its tasks. This principle not only applies to your physical health but your mental, emotional, spiritual and social health as well.

What You Focus On Is What You Get

Whatever you fill your mind with will be reflected in your attitude and in the life you live. If your current circumstances aren’t everything you want them to be then it is a sure bet you aren’t maintaining a healthy diet in one or more of these important areas.

If you want an incredible fulfilled life then you must provide your mind, heart and spirit with the proper nutritious fuel. You can’t become rich focusing on lack. You won’t be a success if you are concerned with defeat. You will not be happy if you are worried all the time.

Here is what you must do if you want your life to be more positive, more successful and much more rewarding.

Spend Time Each Day Consuming Positive Reading Material

It isn’t how much your read it is how much time you spend reading that is important. The longer you spend the more you benefit. Some people will complain they have no time. Then read at least a page or two from some excellent inspiring material daily.

Listen To Inspirational And Motivational Speakers

Listen to thought leaders who can help move you in positive ways. Fill your mind and your time with positive messages that lift you up and encourage you. Whenever you drive is an excellent time for listening.

Surround Yourself With Positive Friends

Keep company with positive people and influences who lift you up and move you forward. Eliminate those messages and media influences that are negative. Reduce the amount of time you spend with friends who whine, complain, gossip and bring you down.

Evaluate These

Who do you listen to? What do you read? How much time do you spend each day devoted to your mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, wealth and social well-being? Are you nurturing yourself?

Are you developing and enhancing positive relationships with family, friends, co-workers and love interests? Are you building your bank account and making your dreams come true?

How Are You Spending The Bulk Of Your Time?

Is it invested in you or in distractions and limitations? Are you watching television for hours on end, gaming, spending time on social media?

Are you filling yourself with positive inspiring news or news on how everything is falling apart and sucks? Are you predominantly positive or predominantly negative? What occupies your focus and attention most of the time? To what do you give your energy?

If you are what you eat you also are what you think and what you do. You are known by the company you keep. Your actions speak louder than words. If garbage goes into the system garbagewill come out of the system. This is known as the Principle Of GIGO.

You know how they train animals to behave, don’t you?  Repetition and conditioning is the key. They use positive reinforcement as a system of rewards.

Research has determined the best way to extinguish an unwanted behavior in animals and humans is to ignore it. Do not draw attention to it. Let it go. Instead, reward the behaviors you want to flourish. Repeat the behaviors you want to make habitual and automatic. Practice makes permanent.

Successful People Are Conditioned For Success

They learn from birth on because they have the right parents, or they get training and mentoring, or they stumble into it eventually through trial and error. Howeverthey come by it they live and think differently than those who are not successful.

Successful people follow patterns for success. The repeat the patterns again and again making corrections and adjustments as necessary. In going through this process they condition themselves for success. Wash, rinse, repeat. Practice makes permanent.

Don’t Get Caught Up In The Negative

Successful people don’t get caught in the negative but encourage patterns that work. Any great athletic, business or life coach knows this too. Place the emphasis on what you want not on what you don’t want because  you get back what you focus on.  They know that what you think about you become. Affirm what you want!

People who are not successful and who have difficulty in life repeat patterns of defeat. The wash, rinse and repeat that which does not work and that brings them down. The have habits that do not serve to make them happy, healthy or wealthy. Their habits make them miserable and keep them poor.

Successful People Utilize Positive Intentional Thinking

You can too. Focus on what you want, what you intend to create, what you intend to be, do or have and let the other stuff go. Remember, whatever you put your attention on grows in importance. What you think about you bring about!

Keep your attention off the negative, off the worry, off the fear, the doubts and anxiety. Keep it off comparisons to others, the blaming, whining, criticizing and making excuses. Keep talk and self-talk positive!

Focus On What You Want

Focus on the positive, the healthy, the nourishing good food and fuel for your mind, heart, spirit, and body. Then you will become what you want to be, do what you want to do and have what you want to have. What you think about you bring about.

What consumes the mind and fills the heart is what you get back in return. Fill yourself with celebration. Be grateful for whatever you have and whomever is in your life. Be filled with gratitude for everything and you will live a joyous life! Smile frequently!

The more time you fill  with positive, productive, successful practices and people the more you will transform your life.

Intentionally choose your positive thoughts and fully express gratitude and celebration. The more you enjoy these positive feelings the quicker and easier you will find delight and joy and transform your experience from ho-hum to absolutely incredible. Don’t wait, begin today!” Rex Sikes

Be thrilled today!

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