Category Archives: Getting Over The Past

Attitude, Beliefs, Celebration, Creating The Future, Expectations, Focus, Getting Over The Past, Intentional Thinking, Overcoming Difficulty, Paradigms, Positive Thinking, Responsibility

Stop Deceiving Yourself And Make Better Choices!

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horizons fifty-shades-of-sunrise-phil-koch

“Are you having problems and difficulties? Perhaps, you are struggling with career, family, relationships or finances. How are you challenged? Do you know why you are having troubles? According to science we don’t actually see what is. We see through neurological filters. Our perceptions are constrained.

In fact, our conclusions that we draw about ourselves and the world are largely inaccurate. Some would say, completely wrong. Those conclusions and reasons why we have troubles are subjected to the same filtered neurological processes hence they MUST be wrong. We make conclusions based on limited information.

We never see the whole picture.  We only get fragments and tiny parts bit by bit; never everything all at once or over time. Our conclusions are drawn from our limitations of filtered processing and from our co-opted conditioned thinking as we grew up. We adopted the beliefs and conclusions of others from birth on.

We are wrong about most things because we can’t actually see who we are or what we are capable of. We may glimpse it from time to time, but mostly we react to the world from chronic, worn out, conditioning. We use the past as the basis for approaching the future and that contaminates the present and future.

Everything Can Be Otherwise If We Open Up To The Possibility

According to physicists everything is energy vibrating at different rates. Matter is energy appearing hard to our senses. This tells us our senses are easily tricked. There are upper and lower limits of what can be consciously perceived. We miss far more of what there is than we can ever know.

We are conditioned from birth to rely on our senses. We are taught that there is a separate outer world made up of solid things. Our senses wouldn’t lie, even though, quite frankly, they do. Everything is illusion, only we do think so. We believe it to be the truth about how things are. We are very wrong.

We believe there is an independent, objective reality. We believe the circumstances around us IS what is going on. We believe that it is true. For example, if we get enough reports that the economy sucks we accept it. If certain people are considered bad, we believe it. We believe so many inaccurate things!

We don’t actually know what is out there. Science reports to us, that we are mostly, if not completely, deceived. None of it has any independent outside truth, other than it is all energy appearing solid, but rather, it IS what we BELIEVE it to be. We believe our subjective appraisal. We determine whether things are ‘good’ or ‘bad’.

Believing Is Seeing

Since our subjective appraisal is deceptive things are not as they appear. They are only as we believe them to be. Our consciousness creates what is.  AND so it is, whatever we say it is, by our own declaration. We conclude it is a particular way even when multiple other possibilities exist.

We simply lock into one way of thinking about it and accept it as that. Silly human. There are infinite possibilities and we choose one. The one we choose is based on our prior conditioning from our interactions and experiences with others and the world. We create a version of reality and then tend to stick with it.

We draw conclusions and then eliminate other possible conclusions so we don’t have to think about it much. Our brains streamline the information for us. We make generalizations about ourselves and the world, which may or MAY NOT be accurate. We delete things so you can bet it is mostly inaccurate.

We leave things out when we generalize. Science says we can only consciously entertain and recall so much data in a given moment. Our brains process trillions of bits of date each second that we can’t possible  be aware of or think consciously about. Still, all of it is there.

We Delete, Distort And Generalize

We distort. If we generalize our experience and leave things out, then by that very process we necessarily distort reality or what it is. It can also work the other ways around. We distort, thus we delete, or, we even add in things that aren’t there and make generalizations based on that.

Or it could be because we delete, and distort we then make generalizations. Generalizations are the rules and reasons we adhere to through all time and space across the board, to navigate the world we create. We accept these as what is, or as independent, objective truth, when actually it is all subjective.

We see through our minds and beliefs. We are a bag of skin and bones and processes. Ongoing continuous processes attempt to decipher the nature of the universe through a limited human apparatus. We draw limited inaccurate conclusions about ourselves, the universe and ‘reality’.

We accept these conclusions as accurate; a reflection of what is. We call it reality. Our reality is comprised of outer circumstances and our inner reactions. We draw conclusions. We decide whether or not we are worthy of certain outcomes and or capable of certain actions. We believe our own BS. AND IT IS ALL BS!

We See Through A Glass Dimly

We believe our delusions. We have made our conclusions. And so it is. Science, still informs us, that everything is actually just energy appearing solid. It isn’t as we conclude it to be. The trick is to wake up to what else there is.

We have the opportunity to  shed our chronic, habitual conditioning, and drop the beliefs, the conclusions and thoughts that limit us. We can become more aware and discover new ways to think and be. Even through the very processes that trap us, we can awaken. If only we will.

It can be said, if you are seeking more, and entertaining notions such as these, that you are at least on the outer edge of beginning the process of awakening. Whether you do or not, who can say, but your very interest or desire may be an indication of something better and  important going on. We can awaken and we must want to awaken.

If that IS the case, then what can you do to enjoy it and assist the process? What can you do to accept it and go with the flow? How can you most naturally awaken, easily? How can you become more consciously aware and appreciative of the process? What can you do to celebrate and get through the limitations?

What You Say Is What You Get

Don’t fight it, but relax into it. Go with it. What is IS. Enjoy everything! Why not? If the universe is of our making then why not make it the most incredible, wonderful, experience of universe possible? No matter what goes on, why get caught up in anything less than glorious. Why not celebrate and enjoy it all?

Do you realize you are here? You have consciousness. You are alive. You have this go around why not be totally thrilled with this opportunity. In all, the trillions of stars, and immensity of the universe through billions of years YOU are here to enjoy it. If that doesn’t make you stop and go WOW what ever would?

YOU are here to live and enjoy and delight. I mean why not? What other purpose for you being here could there be? If you think there is no purpose then you are a complete idiot if you don’t assign your own. MAKE it whatever you want it to be. You have THIS opportunity. Make it great, for goodness sake. WHY NOT?

If you don’t thrill and celebrate every second you are wasting every second you don’t. What does anything matter but the love, and life and goodness you can help create? YOU exist so make it count for something marvelous! Celebrate everything! After all it is your choice. You can choose to make it whatever you want it to be.

It Is Whatever You Declare It Is

You can limit your problems, and stop it from being any difficulty. In all that there is why focus on what might be wrong, EVER, when you can make things right. Why waste time caught up in less than glorious issues?  You can decide to enjoy the ride for all it is!

Think about that. Really, think about it. It is you choice. Everything is an illusion. If we make generalizations, why not make better ones? Make ones that serve you. Instead of living out a crappy existence based on conditioning, with problems, lack and discord make it a life that includes everything you want.

Dictate what circumstances will be. If you are going to be deluded, be deluded in ways that feel good. Make it glorious. Exercise good taste and judgement. It is your choice. Decide now to enjoy it!” Rex Sikes

Have a delightful day!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Acceptance, Attitude, Beliefs, Celebration, Creating The Future, Decision, Emotions, Expectations, Focus, Forgiveness, Getting Over The Past, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Intentional Thinking, Mindset, Overcoming Difficulty, Patience, Persistence, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Improvement

When S#%T Hits The Fan! How To Handle Crisis And Difficulties

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horizons beyond-the-hporizon-phil-koch

“Some times the excrement hits the fan. You hope it doesn’t but it does. From there it only seems to get worse. What do you do about it? Can you change things? What is the ‘enlightened’ approach. Some people think ‘this should not happen if I am a positive person!’ Well, should it?

I don’t know if it should or not. I only realize that it does. I say this from experience. Being a positive thinker makes everything better! It does! It truly does! There seem to be far fewer upheavals than otherwise, still things rock the boat from time to time. Perhaps, all the time, but most of them just don’t get to you.

I don’t think anyone should make a hard rule about it. Flexibility of mind and behavior is the key. Learning to control ones thoughts and feelings brings immense power and positive transformation in so many wonderful ways. It doesn’t matter if things get messed up once in a while. You learn and evolve through everything if open to it!

Stuff Happens Get Over It

I believe everything is an opportunity to learn, to grow, to shed old ways if we are alert to this and aware as it happens. We can learn from trials and difficulties and can even be grateful they push or prompt us to be different. Is it planned, predestined, calculated, or random happenstance? That’s  up to each of us to decide for ourselves.

Some get great comfort in assuming there is a divine plan  for their life. And it may be OR it may not. I think everything is perfect whether or not anyone or anything pulls the strings. It is what it is. Accept it, get over your complaints about it, suck it up if you have to. Learn from it. Learning from it IS what we can do that is useful!

It is what it is! It was what it was! Evolve and move forward. This blog is always my opinion since it is my blog. I may share my perception of other’s opinions but I am sharing my thoughts and learning and understanding from my perspective, whether or not I ever say I think or believe. You understand that, alright?

I don’t claim to have final ways for how you or anyone should act. It is always up to us to make our own decisions for ourselves. What I hope to do with this blog is share approaches I know work from decades of using them on myself, with others and from studying what has worked for people throughout the centuries.

Learn To Go With The Flow

Without going into immense detail, the past few days have been immensely blessed. There have been what some might call high highs, great accomplishments and forward movement. There have been multiple difficulties during the same time. Sometimes, that is how life seems to go. Again, maybe that is how it always is.

I don’t try to find assigned reasons for things but extract my own reasons for what I can do. I’ll explain more as we go along. I am discussing Friday. I write the blog during the early am hours Saturday so you get an idea of how this operates. The day began with an argument with a loved one. I didn’t want to have but did.

I reacted to some things.  A response would have been more appropriate. I could say I was tired, things had gone on in a particular way and I wanted to be done with it. I can point at numerous ways to interpret my behavior or the other person’s or the circumstance but the bottom line is my reaction made me party to an ensuing argument. The argument was significant.

Had I been more aware and responded differently, it may not have been the issue it was. Looking at it afterwards I examined it and realized I could make some other choices. I have vowed this won’t happen again. I looked at how else I might handle the situation more productively.

What You Resist Persists

What is it that I can change in me, and my thinking and doing, that would preempt it, stop it, from getting out of hand? I don’t want to blame the other party. I could. I could make it about them changing or the circumstances changing , or what we could do together differently, but at this moment, I only have my actions to examine.

I take responsibility because it does take two to have an argument. So how, and what, can I do differently to help make situations like that better? What do I, can I, and have I learned from this argument that can be of benefit for the future? If I expect the other party to change that will only ensure nothing changes.

Not because the other party doesn’t have responsibility but by putting conditions on anyone other than myself, and expecting another person to do something different would be setting myself up for disappointment. This seems to be what we do much of the time. We want others to be different, the world to be different.

When they aren’t, and it isn’t, we get bent out of shape. At least, I have. People who try to control the world and others usually end up miserably frustrated. It isn’t worth it. It is better for me to change what I can about me, than to attempt to change others. That should make sense. Hopefully, you have discovered the folly of this for yourself too.

The Only Person You Can Absolutely Control Is You

It is more important to me to become more flexible. I want to learn to be more resilient, and more resourceful to be able to handle situations that arise. It is more productive to change myself for the better than to hope or expect others to do it my way. I can hope and wish for things to turn out differently or I can make some positive changes for myself.

Work with what YOU CAN work with to make the adjustment. You CAN work on your self. You CAN’T work on others. Self is the starting place. Yes, you can negotiate with the other person and work things out. That is important too. Do what you can to get along, to have a win/win and settle things in positive ways. By all means, of course!

But when all is said and done, IF after that negotiations they don’t change, then YOU had better change, if you don’t want a repeat of that situation. If you get this point you get a lot? Change what you can about yourself. DO NOT expect the other person to change for you. If they do great. If they don’t great! That is what is. You change!

The buck stops here! The responsibility is mine. I don’t beat myself up or wallow about what happened even when sorry for what happens. I look at it and seek to discover what I can do differently to make it work out better for both of us. I hope I discover a win/win. If it is to be it is up to me and no one but me. SO I look to learn.

As Within So Without

Yes, I have repeated the same mistakes even after this examination. Remember, old habits can die hard. I seek to make new habits but in the mean time old challenging neural pathway routes, that are well entrenched, are firing while I endeavor to take a different path. Understanding this can bring great freedom.

It can also speed up the time in which you make changes and develop new habits. New insights and awareness leads to new changes in behavior AND yet you still have to repeat successfully the new behaviors often enough for them to become habit. Think of it this way. Driving a car becomes habit, right? You know this already.

You could learn to drive on a smooth, empty road and develop the habits for driving as you do. This is a given. Practice correctly long enough and habits take hold. You could also learn to drive on a horribly bumpy challenging road with tons or traffic comprised of horrible drivers. Either way you learn and make habit.

Conditions and circumstances will be whatever they are while you are learning new things. To expect the world to stop being the world and conform for you may be silly or it may be a great belief to have. OR it may be silly. You have to decide that. I find it useful to focus on what I can change and let the world be whatever it is.

As Above So Below

Sometimes I bristle at what is offered. Most of my life pain has come from resisting what the world offered. Once, I began to learn that it was up to me and my response to what was offered AND NOT WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS, life became far more incredible and enjoyable. Then I stopped trying to change the world and changed myself instead. This gives me so much more opportunity.

After the argument, other events unfolded.  I got injured. There were some big issues and problems but I won’t go into details as they don’t matter. It was frustrating, to say the least. I shouted out one major expletive, at one point, when I realized my entire day plans shifted.  My phone broke earlier, I had issues with my car, and I had an appointment that now began to appear unlikely.

I had a ADR session at Cinespace Studios in Chicago. For those who don’t know what this is, it means, I had to record some dialog to replace some lines in a feature film I acted in. I couldn’t reach the director and staff to let them know what went on or when I could now arrive. Eventually, I solved this and got an email through.

My morning appointment changed to mid afternoon, possibly, depending, on traffic. I had to leave. I bought a new phone prior to leaving but service never kicked in. I had no way to call the studio and let them know of delays, I couldn’t communicate with family, I had no GPS and now faced returning late in the evening instead of by mid afternoon.

We All Have An Incredible Opportunity To Learn To Be Better

There was a lot more going on that I am not reporting. I don’t mention any of this other than to point our, as we all already know, shit can hit the fan. It does.  Then I caught hold of myself. I took a deep breath! I didn’t like this at first, but had I survived the 80’s. Travel would be just fine.  In fact, everything would be fine.

I had let it spiral out of control for a little while. If truth be told, given the circumstances, I handled it far better than I would have years ago. My actions I was least please with involved the argument, so I sought to repair that prior to leaving. We worked it out which made us both feel better.  Still, I had been injured, and car problems.

I woke up! I woke up to the fact that all this was going on. Why? I don’t know? I don’t ask why. I am trying to point that out. Why doesn’t help me. What helps me is this: ‘Okay, this is as it is. What opportunity exists for me in the situation as it is? It is what it is. What can I learn? What do I need to learn?  How can I accept what is going on? What do I need to let go of? What is important and what is not?’

IN THAT MOMENT, as I ask myself questions and realize ALL is perfect, even when tumultuous, everything settles! I understand. IT does not matter what is going on ON the outside. It matters what is going on ON the inside! What matters is what I am thinking and feeling and whether I am responding or reacting. From within to without!

Transformation Occurs In An Instant

If I catch myself reacting I have an opportunity to respond. I CAN respond as I had reacted or I CAN respond differently. A choice point opens up because of awareness. It allows for a new and different decision to made. The opportunity arises to decide now, in this moment, to do things differently. Change! I CAN change!

Instead of being a victim to circumstances I take control of me. I accept what IS and I know that I can handle any circumstances life throws at me. There is the saying; ‘God won’t test you more than you are capable. Why does god think I am so strong?’ I don’t know or care if anyone is testing me. I know that when ‘tested’ I can make the difference when I take responsibility.

As I write this, I hope you realize this is not really about me. I am using my experiences as an example, that’s true. BUT I am attempting to focus on the process I have learned and not me the person. Any of us can do use this process. My main point is you can transform anything in a moment when you transform from within.

The world around may be tumultuous but you find calm and peace within. You may find confidence and strength, you may find a smile and delight. You might even think: ‘Okay bring it I can handle anything you bring’. When you think that way, YOU CAN handle anything. Your thoughts create your reality. If life hands you lemons you make lemonade by changing you attitude.

Power Comes From Making A Decision

Most of us try to change the circumstances. The circumstances are what they are. Change your thoughts first. Then whether or not circumstances change you will have. I can promise you this. First, change yourself so that you are in a more positive, confident, productive place and you have a better chance of helping the circumstances to improve. Otherwise, don’t count on it.

If circumstances don’t change you are still positive, confident and productive! Attitude determines your altitude. The drive to the studio was quite easy. It was relaxing and enjoyable. The parking guard and I chatted for awhile. I enjoyed him. The director, technicians and session, all good. I’m glad I got there to do it!

I left, chatted some more with guard. He noticed my new phone, still not working and recommend I get a case for it. We parted. I drove back. I got back late but not TOO late. The day went great. The drive was fine. It took longer than expected but I used the time to think and listen to inspiring audio. I learned a lot from all that happened. I also learned how to improve my relationship with a loved one.

I returned home and to my argument partner who surprised me by brining home a fabulous dinner from a classy restaurant! We hugged and enjoyed each other. All is good. It is what it is! Everything is and was perfect. You could assume it was all predestined or all haphazard. What matters most is what we take from it. Learn from it.

The Quality Of Your Decisions Determine The Quality Of Your Life

We can’t ever replace learning to improve. What we resist persists. The more flexible we are the more choices we have. The more choices the greater range of opportunity and to discover what works. If we only have one way of perceiving or one way of doing we will obviously be limited in what we can accomplish. Seek to be more aware.

Turns out my day was fabulous, I declare it. I learned an immense amount. I was challenged on numerous fronts. So what. I found my center and operated from it. Circumstances stayed what they were. I changed. It was what it was and it is what it is. I like days like this. Bring it! Bring more of them! I want to improve my relationships and live a marvelous life. Whatever helps me do more of that BRING IT!

Seek to be accepting, allowing, because it is when we allow, when we relax, when we let go, we can see more clearly what hampers us. As we learn better, how we can be different, we do need to implement what we learn and repeat it again and again to condition our minds, our feelings and our behaviors. We become aware, and then use it over an over to make the new learning habitual. Habits matter!

We evolve. We become more positive and as a result more capable. The more we do the MORE we are ABLE to do. I love this process of discovery and implementation. I love this life. I do! Even when it is rough at times. I think, if Job could endure I can. Bring it!

I will learn from it (eventually) and I will rise to meet any challenge. Ultimately I love and enjoy and celebrate my life. So bring it because I will transform!” Rex Sikes

Today is what you make of it!

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Attitude, Beliefs, Decision, Emotions, Energy, Getting Over The Past, Habit Formation, Intentional Thinking, Overcoming Difficulty, Persistence, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Success

How To Stop Procrastinating

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horizons showing-the-way-phil-koch

“Do you procrastinate? If yes, why? Why don’t you do the things you know you should do? Is it because you don’t feel like it? Is it because you assume it would be hard and you’d have to work at it? Is it because you would be uncomfortable?  You have a reason, right?

Whatever that reason it is actually an excuse. If you really wanted to do it nothing would prevent you. If you don’t want to you come up with ‘reasons’ and ‘excuses’. If that reason or excuse begins with ‘because’ you are citing your beliefs about it.

The word ‘because’ tips us off to a potential belief or a cluster of beliefs following. The beliefs or assertions that follow ‘because’ you use to explain ‘why’ you aren’t engaging or doing what you are supposed to. ‘Why did you do that?’ ‘Because…’ Now your rationale, excuses or beliefs follow as to why you did or why you didn’t.

Beliefs are only thoughts we think over and over again until we accept them as true. A lie repeated often enough can be substituted as fact. What we routinely say to ourself may have no actual basis in reality, we only ‘think’ that it does because we have thought it for so long. It is chronic, habitual thinking. Good or bad, it is habitual.

Inside us, our brain, and our Reticular Activating System (RAS) have a process of attempting to keep us consistent with what we believe. Mostly, we live from scripts. We live thinking, over and over, mostly the same thoughts and reasons for behaving. We let very little new information in.

We live from the beliefs we have adopted and stop a lot of  new thoughts or ways of being and doing and believing from entering. That is how we remain consistent.  We can, but it means becoming aware and not buying into those old ‘sales pitches’ whenever they arise.

Cognitive Dissonance is the term given to the mental discomfort when our beliefs conflict with out beliefs, thoughts or actions or with new information from other sources. We attempt to maintain comfort, the status quo, by ignoring or eliminating the source of the conflict.

We just don’t want to be uncomfortable for any reason. So we refuse to listen, engage or do things we sometimes must. We want comfort above a lot of other important things in life. We will even make things stressful and difficult because we are more comfortable with that than the alternatives. We try to remain consistent no matter the cost to ourselves.

People believe if they wait long enough they will get motivated. So they wait until the deadline’s last minute and then rush, due to pressures from outside and inside themselves, to get it done. It can work that way but it is stressful and no way to live. Still they accept that over doing it now because that is the habit they have built. A stress habit.

They believe motivation comes from outside them. If the pay off or reward is big enough, then, they might do it. They reason through all sorts of thing.  What do you believe? What are your reasons, you beliefs, you excuses (because that is what they are) for putting things off? The may seem plausible but they are just excuses. I’ll bet you’ve used them again and again

People put off the same thing everyday. They want to clean their car, office or kitchen. They need to mail materials, or set meetings. Each day they look at what they need to do and feel bad. They decide to put it off till later. The feel bad EVERY day they prolong the process instead of doing it right then. If they got it done they’d be done with it. They could feel good they acted on it. Instead, they choose to feel bad multiple times over many days.

If you aren’t please with your behavior YOU can change it. Motivation doesn’t come if you wait. Stress comes! Motivation doesn’t rain down on you. It comes from action. It comes from doing. Once you decide to do it now, that decision, is taking action. When you follow through with your decision and begin the task that is action. Action creates more action!

The more you act the more motivation you will get. The more you do the more you can do. Motivation comes from doing! Satisfaction and motivation comes from completing the task and the feelings that result.  When you can cross it off  your list you feel good and are motivated to do more. When it lingers on your list it nags at you. Why live with nagging?

Athletes have to train.  They don’t feel like it every day. They do it anyway because they know if they want to be the best they will follow though. They have accountability partners. They have a coach or others they train with. You might want to get yourself an accountability partner or two. That can be immensely useful.

This is my 569 consecutive blog post. I don’t always feel like writing each morning at 3am. Sometimes I write a little earlier or later but I do it because I made it a habit. I am proud of writing each day so that helps me stay motivated. It is its own reward.

I have readers, who I may or may never hear from, to whom I feel accountable to, besides being accountable to myself. Creating accountability for yourself is very useful. Discover the power that comes by partnering with others OR by holding yourself accountable to complete things. When you feel good that you completed things, savor those feelings.

Skill comes of doing correctly. Positive habits come from doing correctly, repeatedly, through time. Build, for yourself, positive skills and habits that assist you by pushing through no matter what. ‘When the going gets tough the tough get going,’ said Lombardi. No wimps, no excuses, just the tough get going and rise to any challenge. You can do it!

Do it anyway!  You may not feel like it. BUT when you ‘do it anyway’ you learn to break through those artificial belief barriers. You learn the value of follow though. The feelings of accomplishment become additional resources you can use again in the future to continue to act in your own best interest. Do it anyway! The act of following through repeatedly is the habit you want to build.

Soon it gets easier to do the things you don’t want to, even when you don’t want to. You learn if you don’t feel like it you must do it anyway. Then you do it and discover it wasn’t so bad after all. What you thought about it was all self deception. Old programs, old scripts. Stop deceiving yourself with excuses and act! It is the only way! You you feel as though you don’t want to – do it anyway. Then celebrate!” Rex Sikes

Have a fabulous day!

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Attitude, Beliefs, Celebration, Decision, Emotions, Expectations, Focus, Forgiveness, Getting Over The Past, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Happiness, Intentional Thinking, Mindset, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Success

What Holds You Back? What You Can Do About It

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Horizons staying-within-the-lines-phil-koch

“‘I appreciate the idea of staying positive. But I really struggle with the blind spot here. Children around the world are suffering and dying. They are not responsible for their situation.

This kind of “teaching” suggests there is some way those innocent children could have prevented the awful scenario we see played out in front of us. It’s not enough to turn the telly off and act like everything is ok. It’s not.

This teaching is about attaching to an idea and/or outcome, and that is the birthplace of suffering. Of course, in general terms, there is merit in being positive. Be happy.’ From Hugh

“Today, my blog post is my reply to this comment made yesterday. I included the comment above.  Of course, you can read it at the post page from yesterday too, along with others. Below is my answer, my opinion. My response.

Excellent points and questions. I am glad you raised them. Napoleon Hill stated he faced the very same concerns, deeply, when his son was born without ears or internal hearing apparatus.

No, no one is saying innocents are responsible for their condition. Life is what life is. In fact, until 7, 8,9 or 10, one could argue, children are mostly just programmed by adults, peers, and situations they grow up around and in.

What this teaching stresses is, if at some point, one is lucky enough to be exposed to it, one can learn to control their own thinking. A person can then work to overcome life circumstances and the conditioning they were brought up in.

Whether they do or not is up to them and no judgement should be made.

Some will yell that the underprivileged feel entitled and are lazy. That is not the case at all. Most people want to better themselves. And if there are some who do not that is their choice.

There are people at both ends of the wealth spectrum that benefit from entitlements. There are some wealthy who are lazy. No one is casting dispersion here, or at least I am not. Nor do I think the teaching does.

It could be said, if one wants to learn how to fish, this teaching will teach them. If some prefer to be fed, I have no problem with that. That is what charity and philanthropy and generosity and good will are all about.

Yes, there is suffering in the world. How one handles the suffering is an individual thing AND largely based on the life experiences and conditioning the person has had. I am no judge.

SO I cannot hold people accountable for their conditioning or their experiences or lack of them. If there is a creator, or divine intelligence, or whom or whatever, that is their domain not mine.

I can only share what I know. I know this. You can go through an experience thinking and feeling negative or thinking and feeling positive. One seems to work better than the other.

Positive thinking does not guarantee success, but makes it more likely than negative thinking. So for me, I choose to be positive. My life and world work better that way.

As for turning off television or turning a blind eye to troubles around the world I don’t think that is realistic. I don’t think being overly fixated on it serves anyone either.

With 24/7 news and bombardment in all media of negative messages AND really mostly ONLY negative messages, because that is what news is,

I say be enlightened and informed to local and world events. JUST don’t get caught up in the negativity.

Negativity is great for knowing what you don’t want or what you want to avoid or exclude. It informs you what you may want to leave behind.

Positivity tells you or informs you what you want to move toward, where you are going or headed, what you want to include or have more of.

Both are necessary. But we need one more than the other. IF you are being chased by a bear in the woods, let’s call this negative, you want to flee the bear, avoid it, leave it behind, not get eaten, and run to a safe place where you are safe and without fear or worry.

You must run with everything you have.

You can’t do that if you keep your eyes on the bear. You have to keep your focus on where you are running to, in front of you. You KNOW the bear is there but your focus is on safety.

The bear is a huge motivator to get there quickly.

In the same way, negativity informs us what we don’t want and can motivate us to get what we do want and more quickly if we use it.

Negative thoughts and feelings are part of life. Positive feelings are part of life too.

Where you spend most of your time determines the quality of your life. Two people born in poverty one exclaims, ‘that is it! I refuse to be poor ever again!’ and works to become rich.

The other says, ‘Wow cool, the rich life is for me! I want all that!’ and works to become rich.

Both are possible. My thought is spend most of your time being positive. It feels better, makes things easier and is more enjoyable.

To the extent you want to, evolve yourself, take control of your thinking and feeling, so you enjoy life more fully.

Help others, help make the world a better place. If you see a wrong, attempt to right it. Delight in and celebrate everything.

If there is a problem, examine it and then turn your attention toward a solution. We rarely accomplish anything by fighting hate with hate, violence with violence, anger with anger, racism with racism, poverty with poverty.

We need to focus on what we want to bring about and work to bring it about. We do that by maintaining our focus on what we want, what we want to include, what we want more of.

We continue to think positive and feel good because life is more enjoyable that way.

Still, it rains on the rich and the poor. Calamity and disaster and heartbreak visit both. How those are responded to and handled is up to the individual and no one, in my opinion, should fault any other human for how they handle difficulty.

Just always remember, night gives way to day, cold becomes warm, waves that have gone out return. This too shall pass. Life is cyclic.

In my world view, evolve yourself to be the best person you can be. Allow other to be who they are. Love lots and forgive much. Learn from adversity and less than desirable circumstances.

Our beliefs either support us and free us up to be, do and have anything we want or they constrain or limit us in some way. We need to learn to recognize when our own mindset is preventing us and change it if we so chose. We can if we believe we can.

If you have goals and dreams go after them, don’t wait. It is not likely others will get them and give them to you. You have to work for it yourself.

Learn to control your thoughts and feelings so you think the best and feel the best 80 or 90% of your time. Whether you have one life or multiple lives, right now is all you have right now!

Celebrate, delight and enjoy it for no reason other than – why not?

It is your life choose what you want to it to be and make it such. Have fun all along the way. Learn to not take things too seriously, relax, let go, play.

Suffering is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Both revolve around outcomes. OR neither have anything to do with circumstances.

Some people in the worst of circumstances are delightfully fulfilled and happy. Others have everything, it seems, yet suffer. Finding out how to best live our life is up to each of us.

My hope is that I have addressed the points and questions. I hope that you, I and others can learn to be grateful and celebrate more of what is available to us while we are here. Let us delight and enjoy it all!

Meanwhile, the best wishes, always in everything!” Rex Sikes

Today is your day!

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If You Read Nothing Else Read This: What To Do When Troubled

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“People say, ‘you are always so positive are you ever troubled?’ There are good days and not so good. That’s just how it is, right? Times can be troublesome? Sometimes you are riding high and you get knocked down very far and hard. What to do?

There are days when I don’t feel thrilled. There are days that are difficult. There are times when everything seems oppositional. At times, events and circumstances turn for the worse.

There are moments when I wonder what I am doing. Sometimes, I feel a sucker and want to throw in the towel. Sometimes, I don’t want to feel positive or feel good. Sometimes, I feel blah or resentful. I have rough days and good days. Some very difficult.

What I have learned from my practice is that ultimately I am in charge and I am in control. What used to swamp my boat no longer does. When disappointments come the lows are not nearly as low as they have been in the past. I have learned and benefit from my practice.

You Have To Learn That You Control Your Thoughts

Sometimes, deals don’t manifest. Sometimes, someone else gets the role. I get angry at my family for no apparent reason. Yes, things happen. I lose out on an opportunity or a job. Money may be tight. Kids don’t do what I ask. I feel overwhelmed. I feel distant, or sad, or angry.

In the past few months I didn’t get a part I had hoped for. A few deals fell through. Some money issues presented. Someone, had stalled me for months on something that I needed to get handled. A lot goes on each and every day.

There are everyday life concerns, kid concerns, relationship concerns, friend concerns, business concerns.  You name it, we can get caught up. I have. I do. Life is whatever it is. It just is. We determine whether we react or respond to it.

Recently, a young friend of our family, took his life. It really ripped me up. I felt so sorry for he and his family. I am still shocked and saddened. Still, sad and angry at him for not giving it another day. What he did hurt, not only himself, but everyone who cared for him.

Thankfully, I fall back on my practice when I realize times are turning tough. Sometimes, I notice right away. Sometimes, it takes me awhile. It is a much shorter time now, than it was years ago that is for certain.

You Direct Your Mind By What You Put Your Energy Into

It means as soon as I realize I am feeling or thinking less than gloriously I begin to direct my mind back to the positive. I become aware that less than glorious feelings mean I must be thinking less than glorious thoughts. So I change my thoughts and my feelings.

I use questions. I discovered this for myself back in 1980. I direct my attention back towards what I know I want to focus on. I ask questions about how I want to feel. I steer my thoughts and feelings back gently in a productive way.

I have written about using questions a number of times in these blog pages. I encourage you to go back, find and read so you can too, if you would like to. I utilizeDirected Questions™ all the time.

Soon enough, sometimes, now, almost immediately, I begin to notice a shift toward  feeling better. When you think better you feel better! Questions work wonders because there is far less resistance to an innocent, well intentioned question.

What You Focus On Is What You Get

I remind myself that athletes and troops often don’t feel like it but continue to train or do whatever they must do to continue to move forward. I then do my best to follow through. Like it or not I continue to affirm and visualize and focus on what I want to make happen even when I don’t feel like it.

I have learned to push through it. Eventually, it gives way and I feel better. I remind myself when things don’t work out that obstacles and disappointments are they way I learn to direct my mind.

If everything were easy I would never have to learn how. I have learned to embrace tough times, more often than not, now. The kite rises against the wind. There are learnings and lessons in challenge.

There is great value to these times. I used to try to avoid or escape them. Now, more often, I say bring it! Give me your best shot because I will prevail! I will learn, benefit and prevail! All is good!

A boxer wants a challenging fight.There are rock finger climbers who hang hundreds of feet above rocks without safety harnesses because they want the challenge. I say bring it on!

When things don’t happen or I lose out on something I remind myself that I am a creator and attractor. Yes, I  wanted this OR something better.

If it is not this, then something better is on the way. I will ultimately manifest something much better. Sometimes, you have to clean out the closet to make room for the new stuff. I will create something better then!

Whatever Follows The Words I AM – IS – What You Are

Sometimes, we need to clear the way for better things. If I don’t get what I wanted I look for what better something is on the way. This isn’t some  fairy tale magic. This is keeping myself open and available and receptive to other good things and possibilities.

I recognize that I only see a fraction of life at any second. There is much more happening than I can ever be aware of. I surrender to the possibility that I don’t know everything. Ultimately everything works out for the best. It always has.

I always, no matter what, have landed on my feet. I have faced some tremendous challenges in life and have managed to get through them. So, even when things look bleak, I have a pretty good life. I remind myself to remember that. AND I do!

I practice gratitude and remember to count my blessings. I celebrate life and the ups and downs. I think, I am divine and am playing one heck of a game on myself.

Whatever Follows The Words I HAVE – IS – What You Have

I am a divine trickster seeing if I can ruffle the poor human and make him squirm or rise up to the occasion and overcome all difficulty. I begin to claim my power and my authority.

I realize like David facing Goliath that this is a day to claim victory and rush the giant, or my problems, to meet them head on, and to not whine, or blame. Yes, sometimes I vent to another.

Fairly quickly, I try to remember to only speak to bless, heal and prosper. I attempt to remember that what I say is what I get and to not further difficulties but talk solutions and speak positively. Loose lips sinks ships.

Life is whatever life is. Up and down. I am learning through it all not to try to run or escape tough times, low times or disappointments but to find the seeds of opportunity and advantage within them.

Everyday can be a day to celebrate. Just because circumstances suck it doesn’t mean I have to suck for the circumstances. I can be a champion in times of trouble.

Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude

I am learning that I do have all the resources at any moment to make any change. If I think I am defeated I am. If I think I am troubled I am. If I think I am poor I am. Whatever I think and declare myself to be is what I am. I make it so by my own words.  No one else does, but me.

HOWEVER, if I think I am victorious, even when it doesn’t yet appear that way, I AM. If I think I am free and living the good life, even when it may not seem like it, then I AM. If I think I am rich, even while paying bills, then I AM. I determine who I am, what I am, how I am.

I am the one in charge. I am the one who turns difficulties into opportunities by changing how I feel and what I focus on. I steer my mind toward the goodI want to focus on. I have learned that if I focus on troubles I only get more of them.

I have learned that if I want to get to my destination, though the waters may be severely troubled, I need to stay the course and be the captain of soul and the master of my fate. No one can or will do it for me even when I have support and love around me.

You Don’t Get Uphill Thinking Downhill Thoughts

If it is to be it is up to me. Yes, there are dark times but I have learned how to find the light. Anyone can. Little by little, inch by inch, step by step. I have learned to nudge myself along in a better, more positive direction. If I can’t leap into bliss I can inch my way into it.

I wrote of Barnes in my last blog and I will again in upcoming ones. When nothing seemed to be happening for a significant period of time, Hill states, Barnes intensified his desire to make his dream come true.

He did not lose faith. He did not give up. He did not quit and seek something else to do. He kept at it until, one day, five years later he was beginning to live the destiny he wanted. He was persistent.

We need to be persistent and consistent in our dedication to ourself in living the best life we can at any given moment. The difference between me now versus then, what I have learned and done that is successful, is that I eliminated some old detrimental habits and replaced them with more productive, positive ones. New habits!

We need to learn to laugh in the midst of adversity, troubles and tears. We need to find our inner joy, our bliss and celebrate all the wonderful things each second because our troubles are only a portion of all life offers. The more we do the more we can do!

What You Focus Expands

Yes, they look large and may seem to be all encompassing BUT actually they are not. They are small in comparison to everything else that is going on and that is available. There is so much more going on in any instant. You just need to look and  find the good.

If you look for it you will find it. Believe it is there and you will discover it. That is the job of the Reticular Activating System (RAS) remember, to find examples in the outer world that match your inner convictions and beliefs. Believing is seeing.

Believe all is good. Believe unexpected good is coming your way even though you can’t yet see it. Keep the faith. Believe that you always land on your feet.

My life is so incredible. I live a blessed life. Does it mean I have the best of everything. Nope, not yet, at least. It does mean I make the best of all I presently have. I make the best of the past and look forward to a marvelous future.

The present is glorious EVEN when it isn’t. Times may be tough but not for as long. New thought habits replaced the old. New wine skins for new wine. Everything becomes new! Most of the time I have learned to feel wonderful regardless of what is going on. THAT is what this practice is all about.

You Become What You Think About Most

I repeat, I have learned, through my practice that attitude determines your altitude and what you are capable of doing. Most importantly, I have learned, if it is to be IT IS UP TO ME!

I am responsible for how I live each moment. SO I make the most and the best of each moment. Once the moment is gone it is gone! Believe that something better is on the way and YOU will soon discover it. Decide to make the best of whatever life gives you!

Have faith! Keep the faith! Prevail! Be a champion over your difficulties. Take tiny steps if you must. Free yourself from the mental bindings that have held you. You can, you know. Think new thoughts, develop new habits and all of life changes.” Rex Sikes

Celebrate this day and everyday!

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Stop Being Stuck It Doesn’t Have To Suck! Live The Life You Want!

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“What happens when we don’t think we can’t accomplish something because it is too difficult? Since, thoughts determine our reality shouldn’t we be more careful what we believe? Can we do something about self-limitations ? How do we overcome what seems to hold us back?

Switch your thoughts! Stop thinking what you are thinking and begin to think new, different productive thoughts. You may exclaim, ‘but that is hard’. Yes, if you think it is, it most probably will be. THAT is but another thought!

Thoughts determine our reality. Everything begins with thought. Are you really going to let a thought prevent you from seeking the highest good? Are you? You would let a mental packet of energy, or an internal feeling prevent you from being and doing and having everything you want? Really? Sad, that seems pretty wimpy.

At some point you simply have to face it. If you want things to change you must change some things. You can’t keep doing the same things over and over again and expect anything to be different. It doesn’t work like that. So give it up and face the fact that YOU have make some alterations if you want the clothes to fit. So to speak.

Why Would I Ever Choose To Believe That

You need to think more positive, productive thoughts. So whenever you discover yourself thinking or saying something less than productive or counter to what you want you challenge it.

When you encounter a limiting belief and recognize it as such ask yourself, ‘why would I ever choose to believe that?’

Your answers will be more of your paradigm of your limiting beliefs. More grapes from the cluster may appear. If you treat them as no big deal they will be no big deal. They are conditioning from your past that you accepted from other people. If you treat them as big things they will be big things.

You determine whether your responses will be minor or a big problem for you to deal with them.  How you feel about them will determine whether it’s  difficult or whether it is something you can easily and effortlessly change. YOU decide! Again, YOU DECIDE!

You can change effortlessly and let all your limiting beliefs go.

Whenever you encounter a limiting belief, from time to time, celebrate be happy. When you encounter something and you think ‘I can’t do that’ celebrate that you uncovered it because that’s the moment when you can become free.

Even If That Were True Why Would I Ever Choose To Believe That

If you become aware of a limiting belief then you can do something to change it. If you’re not aware of it it will just remain obscure. So as they come up, notice and let them go. Treat them as minor incidences. Ask yourself, ‘why would I EVER choose to believe that?’

You will get answers that are other reasons.  Continue to ask that. You can even state, ‘EVEN if that’s is true why would I choose believe that?’  The answers may sound logical, even plausible but be willing to simply gently challenge or question the belief statements.

For example, you think, ‘I can’t make a lot of money’ or ‘Other people get all the luck’, whatever the limitation statements may be THINK ABOUT IT – WHY ON EARTH would you EVER choose to belief that? WHY would YOU ever choose to limit yourself in this way? Who says you can’t?

How would your life be different if you didn’t believe that? Why would you ever accept that as true? Even if it were true why would you chose to believe it? Ask and repeatedly ask. You may find you get into a recursive loop of, ‘just because I do.’

Who Says? According tTo Whom?

The reason why most of our beliefs have some sort of power is because the assumptions within them go unchallenged. Questions have a way of helping you bring light to the darkness. Once illuminated you have some choices to make. Adopt new ones or continue with old.

There are many other questions you can ask, ‘ How do you know?’ ‘Who says’ or ‘According to whom?’ “How specifically does X cause Y?’ or “How do you know this causes that?’ ‘How does thinking this limit me?’ ‘How does X mean Y?’ ‘How does thinking this stop me from doing what I want?’ ‘Whose fault is it that I have this problem?’

‘How does this limitation benefit me?’ ‘What can I learn from this limitation or problem, or negative thought?’ ‘What seed of opportunity or advantage can I discover hidden within this?’ There are other questions.

Realize it is your choice. At some point you just let it go. IF you could be, do and have anything you want in the world why would you ever let a negative thought stop you? Yup, there might be that answer? BUT so what, that answer is only another thought.

Who Is Wearing Your Pants?

YOU could be, do and have anything you want in the world. It’s unlimited. Give yourself permission! Allow yourself to discover who you are without limitations. Seek the positive, the highest good for yourself and everyone else and enjoy what life offers.

In addition to the previous questions you can also ask,  ‘What do I want?’ ‘When, where and with whom do I want it?’  ‘What positive benefits and opportunities are there for me to explore?  ‘When I get what I want, what else will improve?’

What stops me from having the what I want already?’ (Yep, this question again explores the negative, limitation, or problem aspect of any situation) ‘What resources do I have to help me achieve what I want?’ or ‘In how many different ways am I resourceful?’

Time For You To Realize You Are In Charge – You Decide

‘What are the many different ways I am able to overcome it being a limitation?’ ‘What am I going to do to accomplish my goals and dreams?’ ‘What can I easily do to begin making it happen?’ ‘What will I do next?’ ‘How much fun can I have making my dreams come true?’

Don’t suck for your paradigm.  Don’t suck for a cluster of limiting beliefs you unconsciously adopted while growing up. Don’t let negativity and limitations hold you back from the positive good things in life. BUT treat them all lightly. They are not big things even when they may seem like it. They are what they are. Routine, patterned though habits.

There are not things in your unconscious you need to get rid of. If you worry about your paradigm you will worry about your paradigms and create another problem for yourself. Don’t be silly in this way. Others want you worried about your paradigms but you need not be. Be free instead! Be free. Enjoy life and have fun!

They are simply, old habits, familiar, comfortable ways of thinking because you didn’t think differently. Yes, they are traps, but they are only thought habits. They hold fast but they are no big deal. YOU can overcome negative thought habits and create new powerful positive thought habits. Let go of them. Keep it simple. Have fun. Enjoy!

Just remember to THINK that they are easy. THINK this will be easy. THINK This is easy. You probably have already thought for years that they are difficult. THIS TIME, right NOW, you determine how it is going to be instead of letting them call the shots.

When You Drop Your Keys You Don’t Try To – You Just Drop Them

Decide it will be easy and it will be a heck of a lot easier than if you decide it will be hard. That is how this thing works. Do not take them seriously or make an issue of them. Determine to keep it simple, easy, fun and free and it will be. Put your energy into what you want!

Declare yourself to bigger, larger, freer. You are unlimited. You are powerful. Assert it, affirm it, declare it with gusto and you will be! Remember, whatever you affirm negatively you will end up with too. You decide what you will affirm and declare. YOU make it so! You are the one who decides what and how life will be! Make it what YOU want!” Rex Sikes

Why not celebrate everything today!

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Develop Some ‘Huevos Muy Grande’ And Never Give Up!

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“Said another way, sometimes you just need ‘realmente grandes botas’.  Sometimes, you have to burn the boats to win the battle. You need to leave yourself no way out but to face your obstacles and conquer them.

You need intestinal fortitude, steel will, indomitable spirit. You need really big balls and just need to keep going. You need the mindset of a winner. You need to look at all your problems and shrink them down in your mind.  Do not let them loom over you LOOM over them instead!

When things get tough you need to cry out, ‘Go ahead! Give me your best shot. I will prevail!’ Let the universe know you are not daunted by anything it hurls at you. Come what may you will succeed! You are confident in yourself! You believe in you!

If You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You Are Right

You. need to  know, believe and declare, that no matter what, ‘I always land on my feet!’ ‘Things always work out the best for me.’ ‘Ultimately great good will come of this!’ NO matter what! NO MATTER WHAT! Keep this in mind!

Anything.  Any challenge or obstacle is only a temporary inconvenience, a speed bump, and you will continue regardless. You are relentless and persistent. You are committed to your future and dedicated to well being. You will not let anything stand in you way.

It is time to stop sniveling, whining, complaining. excusing and blaming. Rise up, stand strong and claim victory.  Face the giant Goliath, and even, rush the giant, as the biblical David did.

David didn’t shrink back from this looming monster of disaster. He ran towards Goliath after having stated ‘today God will be victorious!’ He charged into his problems.

The Mind Is As Strong As Its Weakest Think

David told Goliath, ‘This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel.’ 

‘All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.’

‘ As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him. Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead.’

‘The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell face down on the ground. So David triumphed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone; without a sword in his hand he struck down the Philistine and killed him.’1 Samuel 45-50.

You Are Where Your Thoughts Take You

Whether true or just a story, the point is the same. David declared victory in the face of his problem. He declared victory prior to the fight. David had faith. David’s faith gave him courage and determination. David asserted how it was going to go down.

David ran toward his problem and conquered it! Keep in mind David was young and slight and Goliath a giant among man whom had killed scores of men and was deeply feared but not by David. David believed. David knew. David came, saw and conquered.

You must develop this kind of faith. You must develop the kind of faith that whatever comes your way you know you can, and you will, handle it. You won’t let anything get the better of you but YOU will get the best of problems.

If You Really Want To Do Something You Will Find Away

You know absolutely you will prevail. You are an emperor and you love a good challenge. You like a tough fight. The true champion doesn’t flee a strong opponent. The champion welcomes the tough opponent. So grow a pair! Develop steel will! Trust yourself!

The true champion fights the fight and continues on. Let nothing bring you down or get in your way. ‘Burn the boats!’ Leave yourself no recourse but to win AND you will be victorious.

You can find positivity in every situation. You can learn from every obstacle. Your worst moments most likely will be your defining moments. Search for the good, trust in yourself, believe you can get through the darkest hour. Create the circumstances you want!

Know inside yourself that you can find the utmost good for all concerned. Raise the bar don’t lower it. Don’t succumb to negativity, or let hatred, anger and fear fume and fester. Tackle your problems with a positive and powerful mindset of resourcefulness.

You Go Where Your Thoughts Take You

Become someone who overcomes. Solve you problems cheerfully. Be thankful not fearful. What you think about you bring about. Don’t attract more difficulty by thinking on your troubles instead know a better day will come and focus on that.

Concentrate on the invisible future goodness you want to create. Why do I say invisible? Because you haven’t manifested these results yet, but you will if you stay focused. You will change your circumstances by the sheer power of your will if you stay focused on what you want to create AND not on troubles.

You may have thought, ‘yes, but how?’ I have already told you how so many times within these pages. Within in you YOU already know how. I’ll share more in upcoming posts. When you master faith and this attitude you will master much more of great importance.

Attract positivity. Create goodness. Celebrate everything. Face your fears bravely and with a smile and a laugh. Do not let things bring you down. Let your attitude determine your altitude. Soar high! Fly above the troubles. Set down in the promised land.  Do it!!” Rex Sikes

Make it marvelous!

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Why You Always Find It In The Last Place You Look

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“There is an old joke I am going to make a blonde joke. It’s fair I was born a blonde. A blonde is rummaging in the house muttering ‘I can’t find my keys.’  Her husband asks, “Where did you last have them?’ ‘Outside’, she replies, ‘but the light is better in here.’

This is a perfect example of what most of us do. We look everywhere but where we need to. ‘What you lost is always in the last place you look’. While designed to be a humorous (and obvious) statement it is also true. Often, we don’t find things until the last place we look, because we hadn’t considered looking there until then.

We don’t consider looking where it actually may be until late in the search. The reason it is so difficult for you and me is we are brought up told to look in all the wrong places. We look outside ourself, we look at parents, teachers, peers. We are taught to look outside ourselves.

You Are Where Your Thoughts Have Brought You

We learn from example as well. We adopt behaviors we see others engage in and make them our own. Then we look to other people, circumstances, the weather, the economy, the government; we look to religion and god. We look to events and results. We are never much encouraged to look within ourself and find.

We are not encouraged to take responsibility for ourselves. We learn to blame, whine and criticize. We exclaim, ‘somebody ought to do something! There ought to be a law!’  Is it any wonder then that many of our politicians, of the past number of decades, lie, cheat, and blame everything except themselves for their foibles.

When it comes down to it we expect them to fess up, own up and state, ‘I alone acted this way. I am responsible and I am accountable’. The buck never actually seems to stop where it belongs to stop. Even then, we ‘know’ they are just saying that to get out if it.

The buck actually needs to stop with each us. Each of us needs to take 100% responsibility for what we think, feel and do. Since, we are taught to look everywhere and assign responsibility to everything except where it belongs, it makes it difficult for us to be deliberate creators.

You Will Be Where Your Thoughts Take You

We doubt and have fear and worry things might not happen as we hope they will because we don’t think we have any control. It seems difficult to be a deliberate creator because we have never been responsible for anything. We need to overcome our own conditioning. We have to get past our habits of blaming others.

We are distracted and unfocused.  Since we learned to assign responsibility to anything and everything outside of us we are not in control but subject to the whims of whomever or whatever. We are like little boats without sails being bounced around by the sea.

Drifting, with little power of our own. Is it any wonder the Law Of Attraction doesn’t seem to work. Instead of creating what we want we are filled with mostly less than glorious, habitual, routine patterns of negative thought.

We blame the universe instead of deliberately creating something that we do want. We tolerate or hate our circumstances instead of creating something different. We were never told, and it was never reinforced, that we create out reality. We are responsible for our results and circumstances but we didn’t know that.

You Cannot Escape The Consequences Of Your Thoughts

Come what may we are in charge. It is up to each of us whether we sink or swim. If we want to swim we can. We can learn how and we are able. Those are not the messages most of us get. So most of us put responsibility for our success and happiness on others and other things outside ourself.

If you expect others to make you happen; if you expect events to fulfill you then you may be in deep trouble when it comes to romantic and familial relationships. The other person can complement you but don’t expect the other person to be your reason for being happy. We contribute to each other, only.

We should take 100% responsibility for our circumstances and lot in life. We should take 100% responsibility for all of our decisions. If we were poorly informed then we should take 100% responsibility for not bothering to get better information. Our life is NOT anyone else’s responsibility. We shouldn’t expect them to make us happy or successful.

To take full responsibility, for good or bad, no matter what the case, means we can do something about it. When we pass the buck we deny our own ability to take charge and in control. When we keep telling ourself again and again someone or something else is to blame our subconscious gets that we aren’t in charge.

Thoughts Are Things

DO you get that? If you give away all your power your subconscious will agree with you that you are powerless. Remember, it is a faithful servant who says yes and looks to prove you correct by finding proof in the outer world. Instead of being a victor you will remain a victim and convinced you are one.

If we decide we aren’t powerful and can’t change things then that means we have to accept whatever is, even if we don’t like it. It is out of our control.  Everything and everyone else affects us. We are helpless to make changes. Basically, we are hopeless too. WHO would ever want to live this way?

When we have the opportunity to decide to use the law of attraction and make things happen we are previously conditioned to not be a creator but to be a reactor to outside influences. We want to create but our brain says others do that. See how insidious this conditioning can be. It is habit. It is routine. It is familiar.

People will do what is familiar and comfortable far more than they will do anything that feels uncomfortable for them. That means, if suffering is what they are used to they will continue because it is more comfortable to continue that to change it. WOW, right?

What You Think About You Bring About

When we think ‘I want more money’ and prior conditioning chimes in with, ‘well that will never happen. The economy sucks’. Or, ‘I pay to much in taxes’. Or, ‘I don’t deserve to be rich’. Or,  ‘all rich people are greedy’ ‘The powerful have made it impossible for the rest of us to get ahead’. Any number of limiting beliefs rush to the surface.

If we see something we want and think, ‘I can’t afford it’ your subconscious says, ‘right you are! Yes, YOU cannot afford it’ IT is too expensive for you’. You subconscious, as mentioned, will agree with you and seek to find you additional prove as to why you can’t. It will scour through your past and present to present you example.

WHAT you THINK and WHAT you SAY is what you get! The reason you don’t have a million dollars is because you can’t SEE yourself with a million dollars. You don’t SAY to yourself , ‘I am rich and a millionaire’ and imagine what that is like. If you can’t fully imagine it being yours, now in the present, you won’t have it. In order to behave in a reality you must first conceive of that reality!

Instead, you see the bills. You entertain the circumstances  of not having enough. You focus on lack and not being able to afford things. You react automatically to not having enough. You think life is otugh and hard.  You fret, worry, and doubt you will be able to make your payments. Still, you struggle and hope that you do so the bank doesn’t foreclose or repossess.

You Get What You Focus On

What you have not done is to decide to be in complete charge of you and everything in your life. You haven’t yet decided to create that wealth no matter what.

As long as you think and act from lack you will always not get what you want. As long as you try to avoid what you don’t want you will only create more and attract more of what you don’t want. As long as you put the responsibility elsewhere you will keep missing out! You must recognize YOU have to be in charge and determine what you will create!

You need to determine what will fill your mind with and how you will feel most of the time. You need to choose what you will think, see, say and feel! You need to become the emperor you were always meant to be. Be strong and powerful. Be determined and focused. Otherwise, you live from victim mentality and lose out.

The last place people look is to their own power. The last place they look is to  their own subconscious mind and thoughts. People were not taught to rely on their own subconscious, not because it isn’t powerful, BUT because it is! You can’t be a sheeple if you are in charge of your own thoughts and identity.

If You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You Are Right

NO nation needs a citizenry of individuals and leaders. Nations need sheeple who are the worker bees, who don’t make waves, who can be controlled. Hence, the great deception from long ago. There are the have’s and then there are the rest. We live in a feudal world.

There are the leaders and then the followers, there are owners and the workers.  I bet right now you may be thinking, ‘but of course that’s how things are’. Yes, they are AND they could be otherwise! The POWERS don’t want leaders.  Too many cooks spoil the broth. They want sheeple, worker bees.

Instead of being told you have an incredible brain, you can learn and do anything; you are completely resourceful; you can be completely self determining while working in collaboration with others, you are told you need to go to school, get a job and settle down.

Live as best you can, stay out of trouble, retire, and die. Work 40 hours a week for 40 years to get 40% pension. That  pension, which now, no longer really exists. They are taking that away. We have been deceived. You have been deceived.  Alright, enough about the great deception. You may or may not believe it anyway.

Do Not Be Deceived

The point is to become self determining! You should absolutely believe in is yourself. If you don’t believe what I write here investigate it and learn the science and history behind it. You really should be informed as to what is going on. Look through the lies and really search it out.

Within YOU is amazing power to be, do and have whatever you want! You don’t know that or you don’t know how to use that because you didn’t grow up knowing how to. You just weren’t informed, so it is the last place you look. It is okay because you can change all that.

Just because you didn’t get exposed to it early on doesn’t mean you can’t do something about it now. While, it may have been ideal to have been brought up that way, face it, most likely you weren’t. Can’t cry about water over the damn. That train left the station. Get with the current program and learn to do it now! Now is all you have!

Look to yourself. Learn to utilize your own power. Make your life what you want it to be. Live as you have dreamed. Don’t be stingy with yourself or loved ones. Don’t be a victim or a blamer or wimp. Take responsibility and take charge of your life. You may only have one go around so make it count.

Every Limitation Is An Illusion – Every Excuse A Lie

Don’t live beneath who you are or your means. Live as an emperor. Live as a victor and a champion. Never say or speak about what you do not want. Only think and talk about WHAT YOU DO WANT AND CAN DO.  DON’T waste time in gossip or complaints. Stop, no longer focus on less than glorious circumstances.

Imagine fully and feel all the wonderful feelings, wanting what you do want. Only think about what you want to bring about Focus your attention and your energy. Get you brain working for you the way you want it to. Accept nothing less.

Do not be haphazard. Don’t let the old habitual ways you learned to work from others dictate who you are or what you do. Napoleon Hill stated, ‘if you can conceive it and believe it you can achieve it.’ Think it into being. Believe it is possible and you can and you will do whatever it takes to bring it about. Be strong and persist.

If You Really Want To Do Something You Will Find The Reasons

Do you want that old programming to dictate the rest of your life?

If You Don’t Want To Do Something You Will Find The Excuses

Would you like to have a say in how your future will turn out? You decide now because the decision is yours and yours alone. If you don’t make it for yourself others already have made it for you. They don’t really care about you all that much. SO what is your decision going be?” Rex Sikes

I wish you an incredible day!

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What To Do When Life Is Tough And You Don’t Like It!

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fhorizons cloudy barn

“Know this. Some days you are up and on top of the world. Some days you aren’t. Sometimes, things may come along and knock the wind out of your sails. Some days may just seem to drag. Some suck! All of it is what is. That is what is going on.

If you fight it, well you know the saying; what you resist persists, and it is true. If you push back you spend your energy in a fight. Then you get more of what you are focused on; push back. You get more resistance. If you don’t want more of the same yuckiness, what to do?

I say, throw your arms up and surrender. It is what it is! That is what the waitress brought you. Yuckiness on your dinner plate. You can get sad, you can get mad, you can fight her, it, and the establishment, you can threaten, you can blame, you can whine but that is what was served up. Do you really want to do all the rest of that to yourself?

What You Resist Persists

Hopefully not. So don’t! Understand that is what you got and let it go. Drop it, at least as best as you are able. Any time you are tempted to return to it think something else. FOR GOODNESS SAKE don’t talk about it to everyone all day long either. You only keep the bad news alive that much longer. Don’t perpetuate it!

It was what it was. Let it go. It is already in the past an instant later. You were served what you didn’t want. OKAY! Be bigger than it. Don’t reduce yourself to that person in public griping that no one likes. ORDER something else for yourself! You didn’t get what you want, you got slop instead of savory, ORDER something else!

Whenever you may realize you got caught up, got hooked and are fighting the flow, resisting what is, in that instance, drop it. Let it go and focus on what you would prefer instead of what is causing discomfort. To argue over what causes discomfort will only make you more uncomfortable.

You Go Where Your Thought Take You

If you feel you have to be right, put another person in their place, teach them a lesson, well, most likely you won’t and they will only resent you more afterwards. None of us like self-righteousness, even when it may be appropriate. SO give them and the world and you a break.

Cut everyone and yourself some slack. Ease off. Back up, stop, and move forward new and afresh. Going down the wrong road further won’t undo the mistake already made. Stop, turn around, change direction and head towards where you want to go. Heck, laugh it off.

Probably, the best response you can have when you catch yourself being an idiot is to laugh. Not at yourself or anyone else; you wouldn’t want to do that. Let it go and just laugh  at how ridiculous it is to fight what is. There is the saying, no use beating a dead horse. Sorry for that but it is illustrative.

It Is What It Is

Okay, better one, no use crying over spilt milk. OR it is water over the damn. What is IS! What is done is done! Move on from that moment cleanly. The only way to successfully do that is to drop it. Accept it and go on. My favorite analogy and teaching example of going with the flow in our modern age, is traffic.

The zen of not driving or not caring is learned in traffic. You can’t push it but you can try. When stuck and surrounded there is no where to go, so relax you can’t change it until it changes. LET IT GO. That person that cut you off they are already ahead of you leave them be. That person who gave you the finger, bless them; returning it my make you feel right but won’t make you feel much better.

Yes, traffic is the perfect place to let it all go and learn to surrender to what is. Use it to enjoy. Yes, you will be late, but that is what is. You may be reprimanded, docked or fired. Leave earlier next time. It is what it is. Use whatever happens to learn to not react out of anger, or fight or flight, but to let go, accept and respond more appropriately.

Realize You Always Have Choice Even When You Think You Don’t

Celebrate and be grateful you are able to. Celebrate and affirm how wonderful you are. You have all this extra time for yourself to chant your positive mantras in the car or listen to positive motivational audios. Use it wisely rather than loosing your cool. Steer back to positive thinking and feeling good and you will have learned something useful.

If you steer back each time, as best as possible, you are developing a positive habit. Whenever you encounter something less than glorious, something you don’t like and wouldn’t choose for yourself, you are returning to what is good, positive and enjoyable.

You seek a better alternative. Soon you will do it automatically, reliably and habitually. What a wonderful tradeoff. You learned to make your life more grand by default. SO use your not so good times to create better times ahead. Be grateful you can. Celebrate it all and you will live a life of true, absolute celebration!” Rex Sikes

How many delightful things can you discover today!

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Do This – Live Well And Enjoy More!

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horizons fence and plains

“What must we do to have the life we want and deserve? How do I get unstuck? How do we manifest what we desire? Does what we do make a difference? What should I do to make everything better?Does the Law Of Attraction actually work?

How do I eliminate bad habits? How do we change our lives? How do I live the good life? So many people ask me questions like this. I know they are on the minds of many more. How do we have a great life? That is what these blog pages are all about.

I hope you are going back through them and reading and re-reading them. Make them a study because thoughts and ideas you missed the first time or second time through will present themselves to you each time. You will learn and discover new things you missed.

Everyday is a gift! We never know how much time we have on this planet. It could all be gone tomorrow. Later today it could be over. We should cherish the time we have.

Cherish the people we love and like. We are here briefly and then gone. Some religions have conditioned people that our reward isn’t here but elsewhere at another time.

Live And Enjoy Now

That is really sad. Much of Christendom and many religions preach this.  That is not what I find when I study the Bible or other ancient texts. I see a garden paradise intended for us. I see that abundance of all good things our birthright. It is right there on the pages.

I don’t care what religion you adhere to there is no reason to suffer here. Our rewards are now! Right now while on earth! Maybe there are elsewhere too but the God of the Bible puts our rewards on earth first. Since you are here and reading this – claim your fabulous earthly life. Claim the promise of prosperity and happiness.

Declare it! Believe you deserve it. Unfortunately, too many people have learned the opposite while growing up. They have been sadly misinformed and mistaken. You need to change your mind! Every day is an opportunity to love and to live fully and abundantly now!

Every moment! Each day is an opportunity to learn more and improve yourself and your circumstances.  We only have so much time here so use it wisely, use it well. Use your time to smile and delight more!  Love more, celebrate more and live more fully.

Let go of the past and anything that holds you back. Give it up.  Drop anything that was yesterday and less than glorious. Learn from it and let go of it. Become free! BE free now. Time is short. Let it go!

Embrace the future and put your back against the past. Don’t let anything hold you back or hold you down. You deserve better!Be grateful now! Be thankful for everything no matter what it was. Let it go and be grateful.

Let Go Of The Old

Celebrate this moment and everything in it. You and I are blessed in more ways than we can ever realize. Begin looking for those ways. Open your eyes. Find and celebrate all the good things around you right now!

Forgive yourself.  Forgive those who may have hurt or harmed you past and present. Let it go. Forgiveness is not an act for them it is an act for you. You are not giving anyone else a free pass you are giving yourself a free pass to move on.

Never be held back by less than glorious circumstances. That is the big lie. You can move beyond it and be free. Heal yourself through forgiveness and gratitude!

Wait patiently and expectantly. Seeds plant grow under cover of darkness. Most of what sees do we never see. We never see how growth occurs we only notice benchmarks in progress. Be patient and know good things come to those who wait.

Don’t give up keep moving forward. There IS a time to harvest. You will discover so many wonderful things if you let go, forgive, celebrate now with gratitude and be patient.

While waiting stay in the present. Stay focused on your blessings right now. Parts of your brain will attempt to get you to think about the past and regret it to protect you from doing that again.

Write A New Story

There is a noble intent to regret and that is to not ever engage in that same behavior or activity again. The brain will also project into the future to protect us by anticipating what might be coming. Worry is noble too in that it is an attempt to prepare.

There is nothing, absolutely nothing, wrong with the brain attempting to prevent the past mistakes or avoid future ones but some people get caught up and miss right now.

Now is where all the blessings are. Right now is where the celebration is. Right now is actually all you have. The past is gone only memories we relive and the future is only a projection, it is not here yet.

The gift is our present. Staying in this moment helps keep us calm and peaceful. Enjoy and delight in this moment. In each moment.Life is meant for you to enjoy! You have a short shot when all is considered. Live it well.

It doesn’t matter so much what you have as it matters who you are. Be the kind of person who savors and enjoys life. Dream big and live large. Have fun, smile and laugh. If you fill each present moment with so much positive enjoyable living you will have lived well! Don’t you think?” Rex Sikes

How wonderfully can you spend today?

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