Category Archives: Focus

Act As If, Affirmations, Beliefs, Creating The Future, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Habit Formation, Happiness, Learning, Positive Thinking, Rehearsal And Practice, Self Talk, Success, Unlimited Power, Visualization

Success And Happiness: Are You Doing What Helps Or Hurts?

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your mind is a garden

“Are you predominantly focused on what you want, thereby creating what you want in your life? OR  Are you predominantly focused on what you don’t want, thereby inadvertently, creating what you do not want? Since we get what we focus on this is important to know. What do you imagine when you imagine your dreams and goals?

You have to know what you want

You have to know what you want and not just know what you don’t want IN ORDER for you to get what you DO want. Knowing what you do not want (I don’t want to be poor; I don’t want this illness; I don’t want people who lie to me etc) is important to help clarify what you do want. (I want to be wealthy; I want vibrant health; I want people who are honest and I can trust etc).

The key is to focus on what you do want so that is what you create for yourself. Once you catch yourself focused on what you don’t want (uggg I hate these bills! etc) turn your attention away from what you don’t want and put it on what you do want. Remember, we get what we focus on.

When I first began practicing visualizing as a child I had difficulty seeing myself as I wanted to be inside my head. I could quite easily picture something bad happening (falling off my bicycle, for example) but had difficulty imagining myself riding it safely. That was just what I was used to doing in my head.

Because I didn’t undertake to change this and exercise my mind regularly then, as one would with daily physical exercise, this ‘condition’ persisted until my later teens when finally I decided I needed to do something. By then, I had spent many years practicing visualizing how I did not want to be. It was already my habit from younger years.

How to practice and develop skill

I sat and practiced seeing good things happening. It seemed tough at first. Vague, hazy, unclear, unfocused. Sometimes nothing at all. BUT I could pretty well and pretty clearly see what I didn’t want. That was a well developed skill. I had to continue to practice again and again making pictures of what I wanted. At times it was frustrating, I admit. You have to keep at it. I certainly had to.

To help, I would look at photographs of things I wanted or of people doing things I wanted to be able to do and close my eyes and imagine as best I could myself with those items or in place of the people in the photograph. Just as in building any other skill set I needed regular correct repetition to develop my ability to visualize positively. Slowly at first, bit by bit, I got somewhat better.

All of us. You and I can create the life we want. We can learn to develop any skill or ability we want to add, or enhance any skill and talent we already have by dedicating enough time and practice to do so. Learning how to visualize powerfully and positively is a skill worth having. It is our doorway to making our dreams come true.

There may be no other skill more important that our own ability to focus our mind’s attention on what we want to be, do or have since we become what we predominantly think about. Take time to nurture your ability to visualize and be sure to be focusing on what you want to have more of.

Visualizing positively may be your most powerful resource!

We are already creating our world, if you don’t like what you are getting then you must change what you are doing. I had to. The first step in the process of getting what I wanted was to recognize that I was already great at getting and having what I did not want.

This actually was good news. Life kind of sucked but when I realized I was the one powerfully creating everything I didn’t want, I knew, all I had to do was make a switch. I would keep on creating since that is what we all do, but I would deliberately, consciously with full intention chose to focus on what I wanted instead.

That was liberating! That was the instance everything began to shift. Yes, many times daily I had to re-position my focus from what I habitually, already did, (think about what I didn’t want) TO think about what I did want. Again and again and again I had to shift.

Eventually, in time, it grew easier and easier. Soon it became more of a regular habit. Change becomes easier when you decide you have had enough and want something else.  There are other exercises I will share in future blog posts that will accelerate your abilities.

Correct repeated practice enables you to acquire any skill

You can be, do and have anything you want when you learn how. It is far easier and more readily available than you might even realize it is right now. Practice seeing what you want. Become aware of your thoughts and images. Focus on what you want and your life will become so much better. What we think about we bring about!” Rex Sikes

Live gloriously today!

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Affirmations, Attitude, Beliefs, Definite Chief Purpose, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Goals, Happiness, Positive Thinking, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Success

Success Defined: How To Be A Success

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I can I will end of story

“For some people success seems to come easy, doesn’t it? We think they had it handed to them or were born to it. For others, success seems elusive, a struggle, or if there is success it comes only after much effort.

We are told, in the U.S., work hard and sacrifice and anyone can be a success in time, but only if they really work hard. Sweat, toil, work 3 jobs. That doesn’t seem like the American dream does it? Is success difficult? Does it require hard work? Will you be successful?

Let’s take a look into this notion of success.

Some equate it with career or money. Others include happiness and living well as being successful. Most of us it seems define success as an end point to our efforts. We work hard and then succeed but is that what success is? Is it at the end of the work?

Napoleon Hill stated, ‘Success is the development of the power with which to get whatever one wants in life without interfering with the rights of others.’

The development of the power with which to get whatever one wants IS success to Napoleon, BUT, without interfering with the rights of others. Beautiful! I like this. It is the development of the power to achieve what one wants. Obviously, things develop over time AND while we are developing this power, for ourselves, we are not limiting anyone else.

He further stated, ‘Before success comes in any man’s life, he’s sure to meet with much temporary defeat and, perhaps some failures. When defeat overtakes a man, the easiest and the most logical thing to do is to quit. That’s exactly what the majority of men do.’

Of course, if we quit we will never know what might have been.

Some don’t let failure deter them. Look at Edison. ‘Edison failed 10,000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times,’ said Hill.

Helen Keller is one person who faced incredible odds. Blind and deaf shortly after birth she grew up to become an educated speaker capable of inspiring countless others because of her spirit and attitude. She is only one example of someone who prevailed though facing enormous odds.

Hill stated, ‘Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.’ The seed of an EQUAL or greater benefit! Opportunity and advantage! However, in order to recognize the benefit, the opportunity, we must be aware and attuned with correct mindset.

His own son was born without ears. He didn’t have the external or internal physical auditory equipment to hear. Hill, refusing to believe this would be a limitation for his son, thought it a blessing. It made him special and he passed this attitude onto his boy who did learn to hear and went on to accomplish much.

To some it may seem as though success comes after much effort but Hill said the it was NOT about hard work and that hard work was a myth. That DOESN’T mean no work! Hill meant attitude comes first. Success takes work but it can be enjoyable work with the right attitude. It does not have to be hard work. This is important to note!

Hill emphasized that successful results followed the development of a successful mindset. In order to succeed in the world one had to first learn to control one’s own mind and develop a winning mindset and attitude. Then one was unstoppable and could command great things.

Success first begins within.

He emphasized this often, ‘What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.’ AND ‘Success comes to those who become success conscious.’

He stated that, ‘It is true nothing can bring you success but yourself.’ If one is to be successful it is up to that person to develop their mindset and their powers to accomplish whatever it is they want. I’ve discussed this many times in these pages. It would serve you well to re-visit again and re-read. Also read Hill!

He pointed out regarding wealth accumulation: ‘When Riches begin to come they come so quickly and in such great abundance that one wonders where they have been hiding during all those lean years.’

He points out that our minds ‘become magnetized with the dominating thoughts we hold in our minds.’ AND ‘These magnets attract to us the forces, the people, the circumstances of life which harmonize with the nature of our dominating thoughts’.

‘All the breaks you need in life wait within your imagination; Imagination is the workshop of your mind, capable of turning mind energy into accomplishment and wealth.’ AND ‘Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.’

It is up to us to take control of our minds. To learn to use them in developing our own happiness which in turn leads us to success.

Success need not be difficult.

He made THIS important point many times: ‘It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.’ AND  ‘Success in life depends upon happiness, and happiness is found in no other way than through SERVICE that is rendered in a spirit of love.’

Zig Ziglar put it this way, ‘You will get all you want in life when you help enough other people get what they want.’

Help others and you help yourself. Help others and they can help you. The energy grows stronger in helping each other than in struggling alone. We can rise faster together. Every one rowing in the same direction increases the speed at which we are able to move forward.

People who step on others may get tot he top but they frequently fall or do not enjoy the journey nor the destination.

Earl Nightengale defined it this way. ‘Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.’

Success is not an end state, an ultimate goal, we end up at. It is not result of our efforts but a process we live. The progressive realization means it unfolds; it is a journey not a destination. We are successful while pursuing a worthy goal or ideal.

Don’t Wait To Be Successful!

Nightengale also said, ‘Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.’

One of the most brilliant definitions of success I have every heard is this: Define it for yourself. You write the rules. You play the game so play so you can win. Success is whatever you say it is. Don’t chase something elusive be successful now! Make it easy to succeed and you will have more success immediately. It is only far off if you keep it far off.

Some people compare themselves against others. They keep a score that keeps them losing. You need to keep a score that keeps you winning. Stop comparing your results to other’s results. Don’t get distracted by focusing on the wrong things. If you want to compare compare yourself against yourself and commit to being a little better each day.

Decide you are a success and you will begin to succeed. Decide to be happy and you’ll find your happiness! Decide to live to the fullest and life becomes worth living! Everything worthwhile in the world first began as a thought before it became a reality.

Manage your thoughts. Aim them in the right direction and you will travel in the right direction. Make your reality what you want it to be AND begin now! Everything can change inside a single moment when you make a powerful decision.” Rex Sikes

Enjoy your day!

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Attitude, Beliefs, Blessings, Curiosity, Directed Questions, Flow, Focus, Friendship, Habit Formation, Law Of Attraction, Positive Thinking, Relationships, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Success

How To Become Alert To Success Opportunity

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the secret of success is your daily routine - change

“How do you become alert to opportunities around you to advance your career and make your life more of what you want it to be? How do you stimulate your imagination and you attention to discover what is available to you that you may have been missing? You don’t want to miss out do you?

Napoleon Hill had a precise method that works. It works wonderfully well. It is easy to do and will bring you great insight and reward. All you have to do is put it into practice. If you dedicate yourself to this method it will work for you too.

Hill stated, ‘I know that if I need my own mind to be opened up to receive opportunity, the best way in the world to open it up is to start looking around to see how many other people I can help.’

Something happens when you take the focus off of yourself and your needs and begin to wonder how you can more fully benefit others. You get out of your own way. You stop thinking your ritualistic way about you, your life, your limitations and your resources.

When you begin to get really curious about how you can help other people you open new doors. You aren’t thinking the same ways because you are thinking about others. You are looking at what they might need and what you can do to fulfill their needs. This opens your mind, your brain to travel in new directions.

You actually find ways to help. When you actually help you open up the door for others to reciprocate. You must do it with a clean heart, without seeking any compensation in return because when you do it for THEM it will come back to you. If you are trying to get something by doing ‘them a favor’ they won’t be receptive to it.

When you go the ‘extra mile’ for others for no reason at all they know it. They get it!  The wish inside themselves IS to return it to you. You attract what you put out there. You seek to benefit others without return and they will seek to benefit you in the same manner.

Even if not everyone does, even if some take your help and do nothing, you benefit from the exercise of your mind. You benefit by opening your heart and helping others in need. Your imagination is piqued too because you are looking for needs to be filled. Win/Win!

Great inventors do the same thing. They think, ‘how can I solve an existing problem? How can I make something easier, quicker,  or more fun? What can I do to help people have more free time and enjoy their lives?’ This is how great ideas are borne.

You have this opportunity when you first seek to make others better off. You help them which alone can make you feel good. You stimulate your thinking and look for solutions. By thinking about others you often find answers you can use. In looking for opportunities to assist others you find opportunities for yourself.

Applied to your own life you become more alert and aware of opportunity surrounding you day in and day out. Advantages abound. This is an abundant universe! YOU just have to notice them and then act on them!” Rex Sikes

Have a thrilling day!

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Attitude, Beliefs, Definite Chief Purpose, Expectations, Focus, Habit Formation, Persistence, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Rehearsal And Practice, Responsibility, Self Talk

Secret To Building Self Confidence For Success

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change your attitude and it will change your life

‘Confidence builds success and success builds confidence. Confidence is important. How does one build confidence?   If the successful person wants to achieve something she goes after it. It never occurs to a successful person that she might not get it. If she wants it she gets it.

How do you build this kind of success?

How would you begin to learn to walk a tightrope 60 feet in the air?

Would you climb to the top of the ladder and just step out on faith? You most assuredly would not. That most likely would bring disaster. The way in which one learns to walk a tightrope is by putting safety first. You begin with the tightrope lying on the ground.

You walk on the tightrope ON THE GROUND. Once you can do this repeatedly you raise the  tightrope a few inches off the ground. Then you raise it to a foot, then three feet,  six feet and then 10. You never go any higher than you are able to successful walk it. Before you know it you are walking way up high.

You first acquire the skill close to the earth. Once accomplished you go to the next level up. You learn to walk a tightrope in increments. You have to master the skill at lower heights to build the confidence needed to move up to to higher heights. You progress incrementally.

Once you have succeeded at a particular height (level) you feel confident. Success breeds confidence and that confidence breeds more success. You feel ready to move on. You know you can do it so you aren’t afraid to try. You have no doubt or fears.

You know you will succeed because you have built a track record of successes.

Apply this to getting your goals and making your dreams come true.

Set the goal you wish to accomplish small enough you believe you can attain it but large enough it is still fun to go after. This is important! You must make  it small enough that you ABSOLUTELY believe you could do it. You know, without question, you are capable. You expect to succeed.

If your goal is to make lots of money and if you have never made much you need to set your sights smaller at first. You will work your way up but start with something you know you can achieve.

If you have never made more than 40,000 dollars, before you  set your sights on millions chose an amount, that while it is a stretch, you know you can realistically make it happen. It will be a stretch but you can do it. First aim for 50, 60 or 80 thousand. Imagine how you would feel if you double your income? Pretty good I bet.

Once you have achieved that goal and you enjoy the confidence that comes with that success you set a larger goal. Perhaps, you aim at 150 thousand. Once you accomplish this and feel that success you aim for 500 thousand. You put the goal just outside your reach but not so far outside that you doubt you could get it.

You must believe you can succeed in order to succeed!

You want to build into your mental mindset, this success factor; ‘I can get my goals. I can make my dreams come true,’ How you know that is an accurate statement that you can trust IS because you have the wins to prove it. You have been setting goals and accomplishing them.

You know you are the sort of person who can go after what you want and get it. You keep winning!

Many people wish and hope for BIG things. They hope somehow someone will grace them with their wish fulfilled. They don’t realize that they are resourceful enough to make their dreams come true because they have never tried. They have wished large and when it was not fulfilled they felt worse.

The lost faith in their abilities because their abilities were never utilized. The lost faith in the universe because they wished, never pursued, and hoped circumstances would prove favorable. When it didn’t they accepted failure as their reality. There’s a vast difference between wishing and manifesting your dreams.

Confidence comes by training yourself to win small and then gradually win larger and larger. The more you succeed and overcome obstacles the more you grow confident and continue to succeed. Start small and finish big! Make each goal bigger.

The successful person knows that in every obstacle there are the seeds of greater opportunity. The successful person knows that temporary defeat is not failure until it has been accepted as such.

If you  give up you have quit the game.

As long as you play there is no permanent failure. There is challenge and opportunity. By playing the game and by keeping at it you develop skill and confidence. Repetition over time builds habit. Confidence and success are habits you build build playing the game.

Start small and work your way up. That is how you become confident and competent. With each win you feel stronger and you are stronger. You develop your skills and your confidence increases as you utilize your skills. Confidence and competent skill acquisition go hand in hand.

You build confidence by walking the tightrope near the ground. You master that ability before raising the height. You become the best by mastering the basics. Anything you can do at a lower level you could do at a higher level. Every step is important so you don’t want to skip any steps.

Make your dreams come true. Follow this formula for success and you will easily succeed. Remember, start small and finish big! Keep going and do not let anything stop you. Soon be making your large goals a reality.” Rex Sikes

Have a fascinating day!

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Acceptance, Act As If, Attitude, Beliefs, Curiosity, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Gratitude, Happiness, Persistence, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Unlimited Power

Self Confidence: Do You Have What It Takes? Find Out Now

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you are going to be great keep on going

“What is self confidence? It is the deep abiding belief in oneself and in one’s abilities to make whatever one desires come true. It is not egotistical, boastful, rude or abusive. A self confident person is not a bully because this person does not have to be. The self confident person loves and accepts himself. She accepts and loves others too.

A self confident person knows in his heart and mind he will succeed. She is focused and expects everything to work out in her behalf. She knows she is 100% responsible for making her dreams come true. He is unstoppable and persists in making things happen. She does not give up.

A self confident person rejoices when a colleague advances. There is no envy or resentment because the self confident person is not in competition with anyone else.She acknowledges when others succeed and is happy for them. If there is competition it is for the self confident person to better himself today and tomorrow. She competes with herself to be her personal best.

A self confident person doesn’t whine or complain about others, circumstance, politics, religion, the economy or the world at large. If there are problems a self confident person works to overcome the problem by focusing on the solutions. He doesn’t waste time complaining about things because he realizes none of that has anything to do with his success. She knows if it is going to happen it will be up to her and her attitude. If she is going to manifest her dreams there are no obstacles that can prevent her. She will prevail because she will persist.

The self confident person succeeds and wins the game of life because he expects to win. He knows it is a game and treats it that way. He has fun and enjoys the process. He is not defeated by challenges but enjoys them.

She lives life fully accepting herself and others and thinking the best of both. She is optimistic and has a bright outlook on her future. She has a deep faith in her heart, a knowingness that she will make wonderful things happen.

Even though no one can see the future or know everything a self confident person expects whatever comes along to work out for the very best. She expects to land on her feet. Because he knows he doesn’t know everything he expects troubles to turn into triumphs, Good things always ultimately come to those who know that they will.

A self confident person knows they are never finished. He stays open and is eager to learn. She reads, listens to inspiring speakers and audios, attends events, finds coaches and mentors and continues to develop herself. A self confident person is willing to change and understands that is you want things in your life to change you must change things in your life.

A self confident person does not use their five senses to determine the results in the world. The self confident person knows successful results start within him. He knows that believing is seeing and not the other way around.

She doesn’t let circumstances distract her from what is important. She is open to feedback and flexible and adaptive while remaining true to her purpose. Defeat and negative circumstances are temporary and considered learning experiences.

He learns from everything. He enjoys everything and looks for the silver lining in each dark cloud. He believes that what he will manifest, should it take some time, is still coming to him and he does not get caught in doubt, worry or fear. He believes. He believes in himself and his ability to create his future!

She knows it will happen, and she expects it arrive.  Just as on your birthday you eagerly anticipated getting presents when you were a child. Perhaps, you even had difficulty sleeping the night before because you knew tomorrow there will be presents. She knows good things are coming because she is making them happen. She has total faith.

A self confident person co-operates with others, is friendly and cheerful because there is no reason not to be. Others are accepted and not judged. A self confident person realizes that he decides. The choices are hers so she lets others be whomever they are and she also accepts herself completely. He knows if he needs to change something about himself or learn something different he can and he will.

The self confident person makes no excuses for him or herself. He accepts responsibility and she knows the buck stops her. In these ways the self confident person is filled with energy and positive power. The self confident person stays focused passionately on her purpose. She stays focused on what she wants to create.

He smiles and laughs more. He relaxes and does what he enjoys. Life is good, life is great, life is grand. He is playful. She is inspiring without being preachy. She leads by example and from the front. She knows where she is headed and so she goes there joyfully. She knows life and improvement is a process and that some things take time. She lives to the fullest while fully engaged in the process.

The self confident person makes the world a better place for self and others! Are you confident in yourself? Do you make the world a better place? If not future blogs will discuss how you can be. Enjoy learning and growing and making your dreams come true. You can be the person you always dreamed yourself to be! ” Rex Sikes

Have a fascinating day!

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Affirmations, Attitude, Beliefs, Creating The Future, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Happiness, Persistence, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Success

Without This You Can’t Succeed In Career Or Be Happy!

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life is not hapening to you life is responding

“You can be, do or have anything you want in your career and life but not without this. If this ingredient is missing it will be far harder if at all possible. With it you can be unstoppable! Do you have what it takes to succeed and be happy?

The ingredient, the characteristic one must have to succeed is confidence. Self-Confidence is the belief in yourself to make your dreams come true. If you don’t already have it then it is important that you develop a deep, strong belief that you have the resources inside you, the abilities, skills and talents to create what you want.

To get the results you are after you must have the confidence and high self-esteem  to assure yourself that you are capable to manifest your desires. You must believe that right now you have everything you need within you. This IS a prerequisite for success and happiness!

If you are going to succeed in your career, your hobbies, and in creating the life you want to have it is crucial you believe that you are capable of bringing it about and making it happen. You must believe in YOU and that it IS possible! You must have this faith! You will never make it happen if you don’t believe in yourself or you don’t believe it is possible to be, do or have what you desire.

At one time scientists accepted that people responded to information that came to us from outside ourselves. They concluded we react to what happened and that influenced our thoughts, feelings and actions. They thought movement from the external to the internal was how we moved through the world. They thought it was  ‘Seeing Is Believing’.

At one time, we believed the world was the flat, center of the universe, but scientists helped us to learn otherwise. Scientists have learned quite the opposite is true regarding the flow of information. It is from internal to external. It is from within us that determines the what we get in the outer world. Our thinking and feeling precedes our actions and results. From within to without!

Researchers, now understand it is our expectations that shape our experience of the circumstances.  We act from what we expect to happen next. Said differently, what we believe will happen is what will happen. Our expectations are powerful. SO you should expect to create a marvelous future!

Our beliefs are those thoughts we repeatedly think. We adopted these from others without realizing it or we accepted these based on experiences we have had. Researchers now know we respond to what the brain expects to happen based on what we have come to believe. In other words, scientists now conclude that Believing Is Seeing!

The human mind is incredible! It is powerful and consistent. It can make happen anything you want OR don’t want by what you focus on and think about most. Some people get the results they don’t want because they think about those problems predominantly instead of concentrating on what they DO want.

The brain will deliver to you anything you want but you must believe that what you want is possible in order to be, do or have anything you desire! If you don’t believe THAT you are not going to make it happen! You must expect to bring it about TO bring it about! You must realize if it is going to happen it is up to you. You have to claim 100% responsibility to make your life what you want it to be.

Ultimately, you must realize that whatever results you presently have or don’t have you are 100% responsible for. You may not like that thought but when you take 100% responsibility for everything , good and bad, you put yourself in the place of power to make the changes you need to in order to get the results you desire. So take the responsibility! Make a difference for yourself and your future!

Decide to believe that YOU and you alone create all of your experiences and you will begin moving forward. Choose to believe that whatever you experience, success or failure, pleasure or pain, is due to your expectations, your beliefs and attitudes. Once you do believe this deeply you free yourself from being a victim of other people, events and situations. It is worth it to be free!

Once you believe strongly in yourself and your ability to create whatever you want or don’t want choose to create what you want. Focus on your desires not on what you want to avoid. Focus on what is good and what is wonderful. Stop complaining and criticizing self, others and the world. Instead of complaining and whining do something to change them. Believe you can and you will!

Focus on what you can be thankful for. Make a big things of the little things that delight you. Think about what pleases you and puts a smile on your lips. Pat yourself on the back when you move in the direction you want to move in. Treat yourself gently when you don’t.

Whenever you find your focus on the negative or the less than glorious shift it back toward the positive. This is THE skill worth developing! Become aware when you are thinking and feeling other than positive or the best you can and intentionally change it for the better. It may not be possible to feel blissful 100% of the time but you can feel better at any moment.

Whenever you become aware of feeling less than glorious commit to making yourself feel just a LITTLE bit better. Even a little bit is better than no movement at all!  Inch yourself into feeling a little bit better bit by bit. You may not be able leap into glorious feelings but you don’t have to remain stuck in a horrible place either.

Believe in yourself and you can be, do and have anything you want. You make it happen because of your unwavering faith in your abilities to find a way, to connect with the right people, to engineer the events to bring about what you want. You gather the resources and you connect the dots!

You are not god creating the world but you are a powerful resourceful person who can succeed and be happy if you want to. You can find a plan and find the way. Challenges are just part of the process. Because you believe strongly in you and expect to succeed you become unstoppable. You don’t give up rather YOU find the way!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate Today!

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Act As If, Affirmations, Attitude, Blessings, Creating The Future, Focus, Getting Over The Past, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Happiness, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Talk

You Need To Be The Author Of Your Own Life!

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focus on possibilties make it happen

“You could be limiting yourself and preventing you from living the life you truly want to live! Are you aware of that? You should find out if what you are doing is not only keeping you from your dreams and goals but keeping you from the good life right now.

What is your story? What are you telling others about who you are and what your day is like? You need to become aware of the story you want versus the story you keep telling.

You must choose carefully the story you want to tell because what you recount to others during your day is keeping you in your current reality. What you re-live in your mind and speech is who you are. If you talk about being stuck you remain stuck.

People spend much of their time regurgitating what has happened. They share all their disappointments and failures. They re-live over and over again the miseries from their past and present and wonder why they can’t get away from them.

I’ve said it before; you won’t get rich focused on being poor. You don’t get positive by thinking negative. You can’t move forward looking backward. You can’t be happy when all you do is complain. You won’t change if you blame others and circumstances for your problems.

You can’t live a rich, awesome, joyful and blessed life if you whine, complain, blame and recount disappointment and failures at the water cooler, over the cubby wall, at bars and restaurants, and dinner with your family. What you tell over and over again to others is what makes up your present reality.

In order to get away from it you need to tell the story that you want to be living.  You need to focus on the little things that you are grateful for. It is far more powerful and life changing to find and be thankful for something tiny than to be insincere in your gratitude.

You should discuss blessings, solutions, positive aspects of daily living. You can share how you did get over a problem and what did do that made a difference without spending a lot of time focused on the problem itself. Think about and talk about how your life IS the way you want to be. Discuss what you would be feeling and doing  if life were perfect.

Until you tell that story you’re stuck in the old story. You need to change the script you live from and share with others! You are the author of your life! Take charge and write the story, script it, how you want it. Take control. Don’t let it happen to you and then re-tell what happened that you didn’t want. That is being silly and foolish.

A woman came to me for coaching, not too long ago, complaining. She wanted life to be better and could not understand why she wasn’t making the progress she desired. I listen. It was easy to realize her focus was on everything that was wrong.

She felt weak and it was easy to see when she ‘shared everything she just had to get off her chest’ that it sapped her of her power.  She literally talked herself into feeling bad by what she chose to talk about. Many of us do this. Many who come for coaching have similar issues.  What we think about we bring about.

Gently, I told her she needed to re-write her speech. She had to author a new story. Instead of focusing on what she did not want and what was not right she needed to start talking about all that was right and what she did want.  I asked her to be detailed and specific so she could clarify and get it straightened out.

I told her in order for her to have the happy life she wanted she needed to live it in her imagination first and then share all the good thoughts and feelings she had when she spoke. She needed to focus on the good experiences of the day AND not the circumstances that got her down.  Living powerfully begins inside us first.

Before you know it she became happier and healthier and wealthier. Her life dramatically improved in a very short period of time. For some it happens quickly for some others it takes a little longer. She changed, because for the first time in a long time, someone told her it didn’t have to be the way she understood it.

She didn’t have to live crap over and over again. She could shift her focus away from troubles and onto blessings. I told her she could be what she wanted to be. I listened, I understood, I saw what was easy to see, and I recommended she take responsibility.

She did and she made  the changes with her new mindset. She now practices being positive! She shares positive stories and blessings without sounding like she has stepped out of a greeting card. She has made new habits of  choosing how she is feelings by what stories she is living from.

She understood she IS the author of her experience and she can write what she wants to live and be. Presently, she’s well on her way to a glorious new future. She understands that outlook and attitude, how we use words and what we think and share all day long, is what we become.

If you aren’t living the life you want? What do you think about and talk about most of your days. Instead of letting life happen to you and then talking about what you don’t like change where you put your attention. Be the victor not the victim. Don’t re-live wounds.

Focus more on what you want more of and less on what you don’t want. Realize you are the author of your life, take charge and write the life you want to live. Do it today! Don’t wait. Make it a habit.

Do it each day and you will soon be living that life. No one else can do it for you. Put a guard before your thoughts and words and only think and speak that which blesses, heals and prospers. Soon these will be your reality!” Rex SIkes

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Act As If, Affirmations, Attitude, Beliefs, Creating The Future, Definite Chief Purpose, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Goals, Habit Formation, Mental Movie Theater, Positive Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Positive Thoughts, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Success, Visualization

Simple Process For Creating The Success You Want!

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repetition of thought Napoleon Hill

“In my last blog I pointed out that getting your goal is like ordering from your waitperson in a restaurant. You know what you want. It is clear in your mind. You specify how you want it and you put in your order.

The waitperson goes back to the kitchen where they make it. You do not watch nor are you involved in the preparation of your dish. You wait patiently outside. The qualified people take care of making it for you. When it is ready the waitperson delivers it to you.

You are excited to get it because that’s what you want but you’re not surprised or shocked that you got it because you put in the order. You eat it you,  enjoy it and leave the restaurant when finished to get on with your day.

There are a couple things I’d like to point out regarding this analogy. You had to go to the restaurant. You had to get there to order the food.  You knew what you wanted and were precise in placing the order. You received it and enjoyed it.  You had to pay for it which means there was a price,  a cost, for getting what you wanted.  

You had to do whatever it took to get there, place your order and be able to afford the meal you decided on. All of it took time, energy and came at a price. This is how everything is in the real world. You didn’t sit in a room and wish for the meal to magically appear. The universe didn’t send it over on a magic carpet. You had to do things to make it happen.

To accomplish your goals there will always be things to do AND obstacles to overcome. There will be challenges, temporary defeat. Napoleon Hill, in studying 500 of the wealthiest people in history, stated nearly all of them faced great loss or disaster before they succeeded. Edison took 10,000 trials to develop a lightbulb before he found the right element. They all had to persist and not give up.

Challenges, obstacles, temporary defeat will all come your way and you must persist and find your way around them. You must do whatever it takes to be successful. The good news is that it is 99% your mental attitude and 1% you effort. This means it is 100% within your control. You are not relying on others or circumstances to get ahead YOU ARE DOING IT!

The waitperson in the analogy is your subconscious mind. When you place your order you are directing your subconscious mind. You literally ORDER what you want. The way you do this is by the repetition of internal imagery, intense positive feelings and self-talk. You specified what you want.

You know what it is you must have and are passionate about. You imagine it in your minds eye, your mental movie theater, as already completed. You imagine yourself already in possession of your goal. You have achieved it.

You feel all the wonderful intense feelings that accompany getting this goal. You think and feel good about your goal as much as you can throughout each day. You keep at it because you get and you become what you think about. Repetition of your images and intense feeling place your order with your subconscious mind.

You think about it while feeling good- AND -you think about it and feel good. You keep this up until you get it. This is the process of making your dreams come true. You fill your mind with what you want while feeling incredible, powerful, positive, intense feelings. You repeat it day and night. Your subconscious gets your message and begins working on it.

Just as you give the waitperson the order and they take it back to the kitchen your conscious mind gives your subconscious mind the order. The waiter goes back to the kitchen where the chef (your subconscious mind) makes your food (makes the internal neural connections with your resources and your instincts).

You do not have to know the whole plan before you start the process of getting your goal. You don’t have to know how everything will work out (you couldn’t anyways) before you begin. You place the order and let those qualified work on making it happen (your subconscious mind is qualified).

In the same way you don’t have to know how the dish is made or prepared. The chef is making it for you. You don’t micro-manage and you do not go into the kitchen attempting to speed them up. It takes whatever time is necessary to prepare and cook your dish.

If you ran into the kitchen and picked the meal apart. If you asked questions about each ingredient, how it was prepared and how much time it would take you would only delay getting the meal. The more you interfered the longer it would take. Let the chef handle it while you wait patiently trusting it will be there when it is ready.

Stay out of your own way. You subconscious will do it’s part you do your part.

This is the process. It is simple. Know what you want. Keep it intensely in your mind with great feelings. Believe and expect you will get it. Don’t interfere with the process. Don’t keep checking on whether or not it is turing out right or coming on time. Relax, and trust. Keep doing the process until you get it. If obstacles and challenges arise keep on going. Adjust as necessary but don’t give up.

This is a process. It’s not magic. Someone is not  giving it to you. It’s not the universe providing it in mystical ways. It’s you making it happen. You make it happen! You call it into being! You manifest it you create it!  You do the work to bring it about. You focus your mind and your thoughts on getting what you want.

It starts with your mind. The majority of thework is done there. Attitude is everything! There physical work is not as important as the mindset but it is still important. As your subconscious mind makes connections (I discussed the role of the RAS in earlier posts) it alerts you to opportunity you might have otherwise missed.

You more readily notice events, circumstances, people, advantages favorable to you. Because of your positive mindset and attitude you draw others toward you. You ultimately develop a plan or the next steps you need to take on the way to getting your goal. Your subconscious is a fabulous mechanism when you learn and know how to use it to get what you want.

The work you do to get your goal comes from your subconscious mind. It reveals the things that you need to do in order to accomplish your goal. 99% of your success IS YOUR mental attitude and 1% the work, the steps you take that will get you everything you want in life. You can be, do and have anything and everything you what when you put your mind to it. Don’t sell yourself short you have everything you to need to be successful inside you!” Rex Sikes

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Act As If, Attitude, Beliefs, Creating The Future, Definite Chief Purpose, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Goals, Positive Thinking, Positive Thoughts, Responsibility, Visualization

How Do You Create Your Future? You Tell Your Waiter!

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you can become anyone you want to be

“People do not realize how simple the process of making your dreams come true is. Earle Nightengale called it ‘The Strangest Secret’ because it is so simple. Napoleon Hill stated that because it was so simple most people would miss it; they would never do it. The Strangest Secret IS you become what you think about.

How you make your dreams come true is the same as when you order from a waitperson. You go to a restaurant you look over the menu. You DECIDE what you want. You consider how you like it. You give your order to the waitperson specifying how you want it.

The waitperson goes off to the kitchen. You wait patiently, knowing you will be eating it soon. You occupy yourself in conversation, reading, sitting whatever. Soon the waitperson brings your food. You say thanks and eat it. You enjoy it.

If it isn’t prepared as you specified you send it back so they can correct it. If it is prepared how you specified you enjoy it. That is the simple formula.

You get clear about what you want. You specify how you want it. You place your order and you wait patiently for it to come. If you ordered a Caesar Salad you expect to get a Caesar Salad. You won’t get tacos. You are not surprised or shocked when you get your salad.

You know when you place your order it will be taken care of. You don’t rush back to the kitchen and micro manage the process, nor do you ask the waitperson every thirty seconds when it will arrive. You let go and let it come to you. You allow. You receive.

You decide what you want. You order it. You wait on it. When you get what you ordered you are simply delighted you got it because you expected to get it. You may be grateful and say thanks, but you KNEW it was coming.

That is the process for manifesting anything. Napoleon Hill said, ‘If you can conceive it and believe it you can achieve it.’ We get and become what we think about. Focus on your goal. Have a burning desire for its achievement. Believe you will get it and you will! That’s it!

You have to know what you want and you must passionately want it. You do not need to know how to make it happen any more than when you order your food do you need to know how to make the dish you want to eat. You don’t go to the cook to find out. You trust.

You wait patiently knowing it is coming. This is important. You believe it. You conceived it and you believe it is coming. From this mindset you will achieve it in time. Whatever time it takes is what it takes. This is how it works. You order and you wait.

This is why it is said that success is 99% mental attitude, the thoughts you think, and 1% effort or work. Thought precedes action. You can be, do and have anything you want using this simple secret.

However, if you are like the majority of people, you won’t do anything with it at all. Why? Because most people don’t believe it could be this simple. They want it complex and complicated. So they don’t bother.

What is it going to be with you? Are you going to be like the bulk of humanity and miss out or are you going to decide now to make all your dreams come true. It’s completely up to you. No one can do it for you. ONLY you can do it.

The analogy explain is this. The waitperson IS YOUR subconscious mind. Not someone outside of you granting you your wish. It is YOU who make it all happen. You give the order and you bring about the success. You take the order and you do the work.

Your subconscious is a vast reservoir of resources that will respond to your order when YOU know precisely what you want and tell it in a way it understands (see previous blogs). You don’t need to consciously know the ‘how’ in order to start getting what you want. You don’t need the plan to begin butYou DO need to know what you want to begin.

If you wait until you know the ‘how’ you may very well never get going. This is where trust and faith come in. Trust yourself and your inner resources. Make you dreams come true. Determine what you want and be precise. Want it passionately more than anything else.

Think about it day and night (see the end result as if you already have it) just as when you order you food you imagine how good it is to enjoy eating it. You don’t think ‘someday I will have food’, you expect it now.

Place your order with your subconscious clearly and then wait on it. Go about living and enjoying life. Do whatever your gut tells you. Wait patiently. Believe it is yours and it will be yours. It is that simple! Don’t wait begin making your dreams come true.” Rex Sikes

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Are You Ready? When The Student Is Ready The Teacher Appears!

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old ways won't open new doors

“What makes a student ready? What makes a student? A student is one who takes interest in a particular subject, studies and learns. Then applies what one learns.

When I was a teenager, more than anything, I wanted someone who would show me the ropes in show business. A mentor. One day, by chance, I met a man. He was successful in the movie business, he had many successful proteges, and he saw something in me. He was willing to guide me for free.

He didn’t want anything in return. Truly, nothing, other than the satisfaction of seeing me make something of myself in the business I wanted to succeed in. That alone, terrified me. I was always second guessing his motives but I told him I was willing to do anything, professionally, it took to make it. I said that again and again.

So he told me what to do. He gave me the first step. ‘Oh, you don’t understand’, I’d exclaim, ‘I can’t do that.’ I would proceed to tell him why. He’d nod understandingly and explain that I could do that or do this other thing. ‘Oh no,’ I’d say, ‘I am willing to do anything but not that’. I didn’t want those lessons or could not see the value of pursuing a particular area.

Time and time again he would make suggestions. Most I would negate. Some I would try usually abandoning whatever it was he had me doing. He never complained. He completely accepted me resisting him and never threw up his hands or told me he would not continue. Our relationship lasted a number of years.

I left him eventually to find someone who could help me make it in showbiz. So what is a student? When is the student ready? A student becomes ready when the student is teachable. I was not teachable. I knew what I needed and was willing to do and not do. To say,’Yes, but’ and ‘no, you don’t understand’ and then provide reasons are really nothing but excuses. AND, pay attention here – Excuses ARE excuses and nothing else!!

The questions one has to ask oneself is ‘how teachable am I?’ Many people answer, ‘I am willing to learn anything’, but when the rubber hits the road they actually aren’t. I wasn’t. How teachable are you? How willing are you to change? How willing are you to change what you think and what you are doing to think and do something new?

Instead of being open and flexible of mind to take in NEW information and practices many people merely defend the old. That is what I did. I had all the reasons and defenses ready for why I could not or would not do or try something. If I didn’t think it would work or see the value in it I wouldn’t allow it in. I discarded it before understanding it by experiencing it. Excuses prevent new opportunities from occurring.

You cannot describe the taste of an orange to someone who has never tasted an orange. Nor can you describe the color red to the person who has never seen color. It is the experience of using the information that can be life changing. If one is not willing to apply the knowledge in order to change and get different and better results then one will remain stuck getting the same results they hope to improve. Instead of taking responsibility and becoming aware of their resistance most will simply blame others or circumstances thus insuring they remain the same.

It is the experience of tasting the orange that makes the difference. Information does not transform us. Knowing what to do and not doing it won’t make us a success. Applying what we know IS the difference that makes the difference. In order to learn, understand and apply it we first must be open to taking it in. We must not defend ourselves. We must let go of excuses and stop resisting.

People argue that what they previously learned, understood and know to be true is different from the new information they are being asked to accept. Instead of accepting the information they defend the old. They are not very teachable in that moment. In order to be ready you need to be an open vessel. I claimed to be open but was anything but. It is easy to self-deceive.

There is the story of a Master pouring a potential disciple a cup of tea. The master pours and continues to pour until the tea overflows and continues to overflow. ‘Stop!’ cries the potential student. ‘The cup is full.’ The Master replies, ‘When your cup is full you cannot add anything to it. Your cup must be empty. Go and empty your cup.’

The point should be obvious. The master deems that the student’s mind is too filled with what they already know. It is filled with too many potential objections, beliefs and resistance to be ready to learn. The student is not ready and open so is sent away. When ready the teacher appears. I was not ready. Many times I have not been ready. Just as with gardening the soil needs to be prepared and receptive to the seeds.

We need to recognize when we are listening only to speak and present our view instead of listening to gain understanding about things we don’t know about. We need to recognize when we are closed to new ideas and unable to accept information. We need to see when we resist and stop.

The way to being a good student is to recognize when we are not ready to learn and when we are ready to learn. Awareness is the key. For most of us this is a matter of ongoing management. The door is not always open. It is open and closed and open again. Then closed, and closed, then open. We need to discover when we close the door and open it to be available to new life changing information.

If we only understand the new opportunity, the new knowledge and experience, as an addition to what we already ‘think we know’ then it is just more information. Information alone won’t change us! We have to be willing to apply it. If we don’t use it we don’t know it. I ‘knew’ what to do! I was told what to do but I didn’t apply it so I didn’t get any benefit from ‘knowing’ the right things.

It is life changing when we are open and embrace it and use it. Then information, the lessons, lead us to new ways of thinking and being. Information doesn’t change us. Knowledge doesn’t change us. Only by using the knowledge can we begin to change. It is in the application of the knowledge where we learn the lessons. It’s the experience, the attempts, the defeats, the challenges that we learn from. Experience!

Seek to be open and available without judgement or analysis. You may analyze at another time but while learning it is not the time to evaluate the merit of what you are learning. You cannot fit a square peg into a round hole. The new material won’t fit into an old, already filled, container. You don’t put new wine in old wine sacks.

You can’t defend what you already know and remain open. That is not being open. That is refusing to accept! The mind is full, it is occupied it is busy and the Master cannot add any more to it BECAUSE it IS full. Some things take a very short time to learn; minutes at most but they require an entire lifetime to master. Quick to learn and a lifetime to master is the principle. Mastery comes by successfully applying the information in multiple circumstances over a duration of time. Correct repetition breeds good habits.

Learning to be open and being willing to change can take a long time to master. It is so simple it can be difficult to grasp. Stay open, be willing. We may claim we are open many times when we are not. I certainly have! Awareness is the key to change. Many times we will fall but we need to get back up and try again. Frequently, we will close the door to change while thinking we have left it open. We need to be able to notice when we shut down and resist.

A student is humble not defiant. A student is receptive. When the student is ready the teacher appears. Who is the teacher? It could be anyone and anything. It could be a life experience. It could be a formal teacher, a book or a seminar. The teacher IS whoever presents the lessons when the learner’s mind is open to receive. You can even be your own teacher at times.

No one can provide you life changing information that will make any difference whatsoever in your life until you are open and ready to receive it. They can preach it, teach it and shout it as loud and long as forever but until you are ready to hear it and embrace it the wisdom it falls on deaf ears. You have to be open and willing. You must also be willing to take the time to master the lessons. There is no substitute.

One might as well be yelling at a bunch of insects who are marching into certain destruction. They don’t know what is ahead. They can’t see it. – AND – The insects simply don’t understand the message! They don’t get the necessity of understanding it NOW! They aren’t able yet to understand you OR that you are attempting to help them! Unless you are open and teachable no teacher can teach you. It is more accurate to state a teacher presents IT IS THE LEARNER who learns. YOU either learn or you do not!

It is totally up to each of us. It is totally up to the individual student. The responsibility is 100% the student’s to be a good student. When you are a great responsible student you can learn from any source. The source may be wonderful or hardly adequate but as an incredible learner you can learn anything from anyone!

The questions one should continually ask oneself is, ‘How teachable am I?” and ‘What can I do to remain open and easily learn?’

If you are willing to learn you must be willing to change. You can’t remain the same if you want your life to be transformed. For your life to change you must change things in your life. You must change your thoughts, feelings and behaviors to get different results. If you are not willing to learn and are unwilling to change you won’t! You must also consider, ‘What is my willingness to change?’

Mindset, attitude and beliefs, your thoughts, always precede what you do and determine the results you get. If you are not pleased with the current results you are getting you must be willing to change things for you to get the results you’d prefer to get. Doing the same thing over and over again won’t get you different better results!

It is totally, and completely up to you and no one or anything else. This is the truth each of us must face. The responsibility is 100% ours alone. So, how teachable are you? How willing to change are you? Be honest with yourself. When you are ready the teacher does appear.” Rex Sikes

Have a blessed day!

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