Do This: Whenever You Are Frustrated. When It Just Isn’t Happening!
“Why are you frustrated? You don’t seem to be making headway fast enough? You probably hate it when someone says, ‘relax. Be patient.’ You don’t want patience right, you want your efforts to pay off now! Don’t you?
That, wanting, that desire, that insisting, THAT IS your suffering.
You are trying to push a rope. You are trying to force the process. You are trying to make water boil faster and you just can’t. Instead of relaxing and letting go you are getting hot. You do need to be patient and that makes it all the more difficult, doesn’t it?
You are split. You want it, it isn’t working. You know you shouldn’t feel this way but you do. You go back and forth, you can’t make it hurry and you are in a hurry. You are divided. Bouncing back and forth as if off walls. Guess what? You really CAN’T force it.
You do have to relax and wait. SO you might as well learn how to.
If you don’t know relaxation methods you should. Learn them when you don’t need them or when you do. Just take sometime and learn to relax, let go and enjoy life in spite of everything. Learn the value and importance of taking a break, a vacation from your woes. Listen to relaxation mp3s online or CDs. Take a class.
Go somewhere nice for a few days. Enjoy something. Actually take your mind off it. Meditate, go work out, work in the garden. Walk. But take a well needed, well deserved break. Seek to develop the abilities to accept, to let go, to relax and to be patient.
Those who are truly successful know what they can and can’t control. If they can’t control time then they use their time to feel better. The unsuccessful use their time to feel worse. Which do you want to be?
Go golfing, swimming, camping. Engage in a hobby. Have some fun. Let go. Successful people take out their yacht, their Porsche. They do anything to take a break. They aren’t going to let themselves feel frustrated when there are better feelings to enjoy!
You can be, do and have anything you want in life when you first determine what it is you want. Then you passionately let it consume you and you pursue it with persistence. You don’t quit until you have it.
You can transform yourself into a relaxed, successful person with a winning attitude and winning behaviors by beginning to imagine yourself as that kind of person, if you aren’t already.
Go back through my blog site and read and review my posts on how to become who you want to become. Learn to do what you want to be able to do. Find out how to get whatever it is you what to have.
Patience is your attitude and behavior while you wait. It is what you think and do in the meantime. It defines who you are. Patience means you are waiting for an expected outcome.
Imagine how different people were a couple centuries ago. There was no instant on anything, no high speed internet, no jet travel, no microwaves. Whatever time it took, took the time it took to complete.
People had to wait for water to boil; it took time to build a fire and warm the house. Trips took however long they took by horse, ship, and eventually by rail. To cross the ocean or the country you live in took a long time. You couldn’t be in too much of a rush if things too weeks and months. My guess is they were qualitatively different than we are today.
For everything there is a season. Farmers planted and harvested in whatever time it took. They grew up used to waiting. Waiting was a big part of life. Mail took a long time. Communication and change was slow. There was no emergency medicine as we know it. No 911 responders.
People had a much different relationship to time. My guess is that they were less in a hurry than modern people because they grew up waiting for many things. Either you got used to it as a life style or you suffered. BUT they also didn’t have any difference to compare it to.
Those who have grown up with instant access, drive-up banking, microwaves, high speed this and that, the media and advertisers’ promise of faster, quicker, overnight, you can have it yesterday magic pills and silver bullets, get frustrated when things take time.
We think everything should be quicker, easier, take no effort, take no time AND be better. Our thoughts determine what we experience. We don’t have the same quality of patience as the people who lived long ago. We need to think the thoughts that serve us better. Our thoughts are what we can control!
That farmer, back then, planted and expected to harvest a crop. Sometimes the weather or conditions changed and crops failed, Sometime they were more bountiful but either way that farmer planted, WAITED and EXPECTED to harvest. It took all the required time it took. He had to do other things in the meantime!
Wait and see meant wait and see.
Patience requires faith. In faith you wait for what you believe will happen, what you know will happen. You wait for what you expect to happen. After all you expect the sun to come up tomorrow. It is a given. You expect the Christmas holiday madness near the end of each year. These are givens!
If you chose to take a pleasure cruise across the seas you expect to get to your destination. You don’t doubt that you will get there, although anything is possible. You have faith that you will arrive when you arrive. So you can relax and enjoy the journey.
When it comes to making our dreams come true and accomplishing our goals patience is required. We plant the seeds, we think about it day and night, we visualize, we affirm, we work our plan and we wait.
How we wait is important. Either you are patient and expect good things or you are frustrated, tense, hurried and frazzled.
If we are patient we know it is happening. It is coming there is no question about that. It’s a given! The time doesn’t matter because we have put it into motion. We are initiators. We are creators. We make things happen. It will happen, we know it, it is just a matter of when. We have faith.
Yes, that may be tougher today because of our modern conveniences and our relationship to time but patience is still required. It is an attribute or characteristic that serves us well.
We shouldn’t be making excuses and whining and complaining and blaming others or the era we are born into. We should be cultivating winning behaviors and attitudes that make our success and happiness more likely.
You don’t cultivate new thoughts and behaviors thinking and doing the old ones repeatedly. We must change our thoughts and behaviors if we want changes in our lives. We must develop those areas that help us reliably get what we want.
We need to exercise our positivity, our faith, our patience and our persistence. We must commit to excellence.
We must wait expecting the positive outcome. We can’t dig the seeds up and check. We must not let out circumstances convince us that anything but the outcome we want, or better, is on the horizon.
If we give in to worry, doubt, fear, we undo our efforts. We get mixed results. We take a step forward and then backwards. We get caught up. Then we don’t have faith, patience or positive expectations. We are frustrated. You don’t move forward quickly if you undo each forward step you take.
We are looking at the wrong things. We are looking at results we created previously that are presently manifesting while the new results are growing in darkness. Keep your faith no matter what.
In order to get what we want we must remain laser like focused. We must rest assured. We must be convinced. We must know in our heart we have done the necessary work (when we actually have) and now it is only a matter of time. AND we continue to do whatever is necessary; we continue to have faith and wait expectantly.
How do we live in the meantime? We celebrate, we enjoy, we live in the present to the fullest. We delight and are thankful and live with true gratitude. We let every moment fill us. When there are obstacles we overcome them by utilizing our personal resourcefulness. We have a winning attitude! We know how to relax too.
We live with passion, we live in this moment knowing good things are coming in the future. We know that what we have put in motion and what we keep in motion will be ours soon enough. We know the garden we planted in time will bloom. We nurture it along and enjoy where we are now at. This is a great way to live!” Rex Sikes
Enjoy and have fun today!
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Are You Ready To Transform Your HoHum Life Into A More Positive, Successful, Rewarding One?
“You would never think to put anything but the right fuel in the gas tank of your car, would you? Oddly, some people treat their cars and boats and planes better than they do themselves.
What You Feed Yourself Is Important
What you put into your system either nourishes you, builds you up, adds to your health or it does not. If you eat the right healthy food choices you can expect to be healthier than if you eat junk food and empty calories.
When you eat right you feel better, think better, behave better because you have provided your body the proper fuel it needs to go about its tasks. This principle not only applies to your physical health but your mental, emotional, spiritual and social health as well.
What You Focus On Is What You Get
Whatever you fill your mind with will be reflected in your attitude and in the life you live. If your current circumstances aren’t everything you want them to be then it is a sure bet you aren’t maintaining a healthy diet in one or more of these important areas.
If you want an incredible fulfilled life then you must provide your mind, heart and spirit with the proper nutritious fuel. You can’t become rich focusing on lack. You won’t be a success if you are concerned with defeat. You will not be happy if you are worried all the time.
Here is what you must do if you want your life to be more positive, more successful and much more rewarding.
Spend Time Each Day Consuming Positive Reading Material
It isn’t how much your read it is how much time you spend reading that is important. The longer you spend the more you benefit. Some people will complain they have no time. Then read at least a page or two from some excellent inspiring material daily.
Listen To Inspirational And Motivational Speakers
Listen to thought leaders who can help move you in positive ways. Fill your mind and your time with positive messages that lift you up and encourage you. Whenever you drive is an excellent time for listening.
Surround Yourself With Positive Friends
Keep company with positive people and influences who lift you up and move you forward. Eliminate those messages and media influences that are negative. Reduce the amount of time you spend with friends who whine, complain, gossip and bring you down.
Evaluate These
Who do you listen to? What do you read? How much time do you spend each day devoted to your mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, wealth and social well-being? Are you nurturing yourself?
Are you developing and enhancing positive relationships with family, friends, co-workers and love interests? Are you building your bank account and making your dreams come true?
How Are You Spending The Bulk Of Your Time?
Is it invested in you or in distractions and limitations? Are you watching television for hours on end, gaming, spending time on social media?
Are you filling yourself with positive inspiring news or news on how everything is falling apart and sucks? Are you predominantly positive or predominantly negative? What occupies your focus and attention most of the time? To what do you give your energy?
If you are what you eat you also are what you think and what you do. You are known by the company you keep. Your actions speak louder than words. If garbage goes into the system garbagewill come out of the system. This is known as the Principle Of GIGO.
You know how they train animals to behave, don’t you? Repetition and conditioning is the key. They use positive reinforcement as a system of rewards.
Research has determined the best way to extinguish an unwanted behavior in animals and humans is to ignore it. Do not draw attention to it. Let it go. Instead, reward the behaviors you want to flourish. Repeat the behaviors you want to make habitual and automatic. Practice makes permanent.
Successful People Are Conditioned For Success
They learn from birth on because they have the right parents, or they get training and mentoring, or they stumble into it eventually through trial and error. Howeverthey come by it they live and think differently than those who are not successful.
Successful people follow patterns for success. The repeat the patterns again and again making corrections and adjustments as necessary. In going through this process they condition themselves for success. Wash, rinse, repeat. Practice makes permanent.
Don’t Get Caught Up In The Negative
Successful people don’t get caught in the negative but encourage patterns that work. Any great athletic, business or life coach knows this too. Place the emphasis on what you want not on what you don’t want because you get back what you focus on. They know that what you think about you become. Affirm what you want!
People who are not successful and who have difficulty in life repeat patterns of defeat. The wash, rinse and repeat that which does not work and that brings them down. The have habits that do not serve to make them happy, healthy or wealthy. Their habits make them miserable and keep them poor.
Successful People Utilize Positive Intentional Thinking
You can too. Focus on what you want, what you intend to create, what you intend to be, do or have and let the other stuff go. Remember, whatever you put your attention on grows in importance. What you think about you bring about!
Keep your attention off the negative, off the worry, off the fear, the doubts and anxiety. Keep it off comparisons to others, the blaming, whining, criticizing and making excuses. Keep talk and self-talk positive!
Focus On What You Want
Focus on the positive, the healthy, the nourishing good food and fuel for your mind, heart, spirit, and body. Then you will become what you want to be, do what you want to do and have what you want to have. What you think about you bring about.
What consumes the mind and fills the heart is what you get back in return. Fill yourself with celebration. Be grateful for whatever you have and whomever is in your life. Be filled with gratitude for everything and you will live a joyous life! Smile frequently!
The more time you fill with positive, productive, successful practices and people the more you will transform your life.
Intentionally choose your positive thoughts and fully express gratitude and celebration. The more you enjoy these positive feelings the quicker and easier you will find delight and joy and transform your experience from ho-hum to absolutely incredible. Don’t wait, begin today!” Rex Sikes
Be thrilled today!
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Accidents Happen And Boy When They Do
“It turns out the universe wants me to slow down. This morning, I was exiting the house, keys in hand on my way to a meeting, focused on hitting the button on the keys to open the car when I hit an uneven spot in the walkway and was pitched headfirst into my car.
I slammed into the car, my left knee hitting the pavement, my right foot twisting and turning under me as I fell on it. I got up slowly, it was difficult, my knee scraped and bleeding, my right foot sore. My wrists and forehead worse for wear but ok. I laughed, ‘what was that?’
I hobbled around looking for my keys. Took about 10 minutes when I noticed them about 20 feet away in the driveway in front of the car. Onto my meeting I went, sore but okay. I laughed it off at the meeting and had a most wonderful, marvelous meeting of new beginnings in many ways. Many new doors opened right then.
In olden by gone days I would have sworn, complained, wondered what I had done to cause this, or wondered why I had crappy luck. I would have been miserable. I would have poisoned the pot with negative self-talk, criticisms and negative questions.
Today, I could only think, ‘This is a blessing! Wow, something good is going to come of this. I wonder what it might be. I have no clue. Surprise me.’ It was automatic.
As we were leaving the meeting I took my foot our of my shoe to see if it had swollen and stepped down onto the pavement and that was it. WOW! The pain was unbelievable. Up until then everything was fine, pretty much. I still had errands to run but now I was seriously hobbled and in a lot of pain.
I did them. I limped around doing errands the pain increasing all the while! I drove home. I barely made it into the house and into a recliner. Eventually, I called my daughter and asked if she could take me to urgent care. She came by and she did. What an angel. We got to urgent care about 4 hours after the injury.
At Urgent Care I passed out twice. I don’t recall it but so I am told. I nearly puked. I was hot and sweating. Apparently, I had spent too much time on the injury.
They x-rayed my foot eventually and gave me a diagnosis. The pain grew and grew. They wheeled me from room to room. They were very caring. Finally, they left my daughter and I alone in a room together.
I looked at my daughter and realized I was exhibiting pain in front of her all the while. She was watching Dad suffer. This isn’t a bad thing we all can hurt. Pain is a natural response.
However, recently I have been trying to tell her you can handle tough times, you can get through the pain, it too will pass and here I am passing out from it. I was not the example I hoped I would be. She, of course, already does know everything I am trying to ‘teach’ her. That’s the kind of person she is! Amazing.
I looked at her and focused on her. Inside I thought, ‘it is only pain’. I focused on my daughter, I kept that thought in mind and looked at her and my heart filled with love. Within minutes I knew I could handle the pain. We were smiling. It was wonderful.
During all of this time, from the accident onward, I kept thinking inside, ‘Wow, something good is coming my way, I have no idea what but something incredible is coming’.
I believe it too. I know it is. I began to say it out loud so she would know what I was thinking. ‘There is a blessing in all of this!, Something good will come of this.’ ‘I don’t know what yet, but it is a blessing.’
Speaking it out loud has its own power. It makes it more real too. AND I wasn’t lecturing I was just Dad talking to himself. I was affirming what I knew to be true and she was hearing me and seeing me. Even in crisis any of us can be resourceful. Everything can be a blessing if we only choose to see it that way!
If ever there is a strong, incredibly resilient person it is my daughter. She truly is my teacher as is my son. From the moment they were each born I committed to being the best guide I could be on our journey together.
I promised to love them no matter what. I also knew deep in my soul they would teach me more about parenting than I could ever teach them about growing up. I am the luckiest guy on earth with such incredible children.
Okay, so I know something about pain management and have practiced it for decades. I have taught pain control in workshops and seminars in various locations around the world. People have flow thousands of miles to spend days, weeks and months with me in seminars and live training.
Yet, in the heat of the moment I was caught up in the hurt.
I closed my eyes put my head back and began to think and ask myself, ‘what part of my body feels the very best?’ ‘In how many different ways can I discover myself feeling wonderful?’ ‘What is the best feeling I can find right now?’
‘Where does it feel wonderful? In how many different ways can I discover all the places in my body that feel good?’ I sent my brain on a search by asking questions and it delivered.
I used Directed Questions™ to direct my mind to what were the best feelings I could find. I found them and began feeling those! I began to experience relief. I was beginning to pay attention to what felt good instead of what felt bad. I was looking for what was right instead of what was wrong. I was finding it too.
My mind was attending to what felt the best. It was searching for the ways in which this incident was a blessing right now, in this moment, AND in the future with many good things coming my way. My daughter was here, we were together, she was helping me. This moment IS a perfect moment.
We were blessed in this way right in this moment! The moment was unfolding. It wasn’t just a blessing and an opportunity for the future it was a blessing right now. How lucky we were to be sharing this moment! An accident brought us this realization. How marvelous is that?
I had steered away from the pain back into the positive. You have read this or heard this from me before if you follow my blog or the materials I have shared for decades. I navigated to the more productive. I didn’t resist the pain or try to stop it. I looked for what was better. I dropped the pain and enjoyed feeling wonderful.
Yes, it really hurt but it began to subside. It became manageable. Yes, it was very painful when they manipulated my foot on the x-ray bed, or tried on various braces but as long as I realized ‘it’s only pain’ and allowed myself to be filled with wonder and enjoyed my awesome daughter I could handle it. Hours went by.
I told my daughter that looking at her helped me. I enjoyed and loved her and was feeling relief. Eventually, they found a brace that fit, gave me prescription for an MRI. Surgery may be required. Okay, so now some focus on healing swiftly may be the order of the coming days.
Right now, she is out running errands for us. Picking up food, etc. I am at home with my leg elevated and ice on it. I am fine. Does it hurt, sure but I am at ease with it. I have let go of the hurting and am focused on the miracles in life.
Everything is grand. I decided to share my thoughts while I had time during the day rather than my early morning writing schedule.
Another lesson I learned is: I should pay attention when I walk. Not be caught up in things. I used to practice ‘Zen Walking’, when walking just walk, the basis of Zen – be the activity and nothing more.
If you are going to wash the dish, wash the dish. If you are going to eat, just eat. No distractions, no TV, no phone or reading, just eat. Be one with the moment!
I had much on my mind. Slow down. One thing at a time. It may not need to be a rule but it can certainly be a lesson. I was inattentive walking to the car. Perhaps, I can use this lesson to remember to be more aware and alert when doing any number of things. A reminder to be aware! How marvelous is that?
I certainly remembered I didn’t have to be a victim to the pain. My first thoughts of pain added to what I was feeling. It made it worse. Once, I changed my thinking the pain lessened. I mean it really lessened!
I am not surprised because I teach this stuff. I know it works. I emphasize this because I was caught up in the hurting at first. Once I realized that, during everything that was going, and I utilized what I know works. It did. It worked! It worked quickly and powerfully. I could share other examples from my past but I won’t at this time.
On top of it my daughter is a marvelous nurse. She picked up delicious ‘OH SO GOOD’ authentic East Indian food from a friend who makes great dishes from her native land. We are having a feast. I am sampling while typing. Yes, very marvelous indeed!
I would never have received this delicious Indian dinner today. PLUS, as a result, I learned about a fantastic Indian Restaurant in my neighbor I didn’t know existed!!! Blessings come in all shapes and sizes.
I feel loved, cared for and grateful to have had this experience and to have such an incredible daughter. Thanks my darling! I’m a lucky Daddy!
I will have to slow down and take it easy for awhile. I have crutches and a brace and have been told to see the follow up doctors as soon as possible. Okay, I can do that. Tonight, I will relax, read some inspiring material and chill out feeling grateful.
All in all the events of the day, while not something I would have picked for myself, have been amazing. I have learned much and feel so loved and grateful. Something incredible has already come my way and I know more is on the horizon. Lucky Me!” Rex Sikes
How many blessings will you discover today? I wonder?!
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Are You Headed In The Wrong Direction? How You Can Tell!
“How can you tell if you are moving in the right direction? Why is being focused on what you want such an issue? How come you can’t focus on what you don’t want or nothing at all? What about luck? Isn’t it possible to make it without all this positive mind thinking stuff?
Some people think this way. They have reasons for not thinking positive. They want to do it their way. If they are getting the results they want to get and are happy with their lives more power to them. I have no argument with that.
The Issue Is What You Focus On
The problem for most of us is this. If you think, ‘I hate it here’ that thought doesn’t tell you where else would be better. It only keeps you locked into what is uncomfortable. It focuses you on what you do not like now.
It doesn’t help you to see what might be better now or in the future. It gets you no closer to your goals nor does it provide any direction for you to get them. If you are focused on what you don’t want you are not headed in the right direction.
When you catch yourself doing this, ask yourself, ‘where else would I rather be?’ Then focus on the answer you get. Discover your destination. Choose it! Then you can ask ‘why do I want to be there? ‘or ‘why do I want this?’ and that will help get you the reasons and the motivations. (more on the power of why in a future blog post).
If you ask, ‘how can I get there’ you may get the answer or you may not know it yet. That is okay. Ultimately, you will develop a plan. Knowing where you want to be and why are actually a very good start. It gives you direction and reasons for moving ahead.
Brains Target Results – Learn To Use This
Brains move in a direction. Your mind moves in a direction. It targets and goes after what you want if you train it to go after what you want. Otherwise, it will go after whatever has the highest emotional signal value. Whatever you think about most during your day.
If what you don’t want looms up in front of you and you intensely react with fear or loathing your brain will get it for you. It doesn’t know not to. It understands powerful images and feelings. It targets them and works to get more of them.
If on the other hand what you want is powerful and you feel intensely good feelings it will go after that. It doesn’t know not to because it targets based on what you hold in your mind and what you intensely feel.
The cool part is being positive and feeling positive feels better for you. SO you get what you want while enjoying the feelings. This is reason enough to think positive, don’t you think?
However, if you go back and forth you get mixed results. If you want it but doubt it your brain starts and stops. You focus on what you want and then don’t want, then want, your brain tries to give you each and you end up stuck with poor results. You have to choose!
If You Do Nothing Nothing Will Change
You can hope you get there. You can wish. You can wait for something to change. You can rely on luck to help out. You could do nothing at all and remain where you are ‘hating it’, OR you can decide what you want is to not be stuck and do whatever it takes to travel to where you want. You must decide!
You know what you didn’t want. You knew what you hated. This provided the impetus for you to change. The bad thoughts and feelings alerted you that you were in a place you did not want to be.
If you use these feelings correctly they help you to clarify what you DO want so you can move away from what you hate and begin getting what you want. It helps you moved from stuck to action.
Clarify And Visualize What You Want
Now stay focused on what it is you want. Imagine what you want clearly in your mind’s eye, in your mental movie theater. See it as if you already have what you want. Imagine how good this feels. Stay with the feelings. Emphasize them. Allow them to grow. Really feel them!
See it as vividly as you can. Imagine looking out through your own eyes and seeing this world from your point of view. You are living your dreams. You have what you want. What are you seeing? What are you hearing? What are you feeling? What are you experiencing?
How To Target And Visualize
As an example, if you imagined yourself in a new home. What does it feel like to live there? What’s it like to walk from room to room? What do you see? How are the rooms decorated and furnished? This is your home see it in detail. Inside and outside? What kind of car is in the driveway? What’s the landscaping like? Who lives there with you?
Imagine what you say to yourself when you have what you want, what do you hear? Enjoy all these incredible feelings? Perhaps, there are smells associated with this home, enjoy them. Make it as real as possible as if you can reach out and touch it.
Use Affirmations Keep It Positive
Affirm this! Keep your self-talk positive? See this in your mind again and again. What we are consumed with we create. What we think about we bring about. What we hold in our head first we can some day hold in our hand. Ask Directed Questions™.
Visualize it day and night. There are two ways to imagine it. You can see yourself over there in the house and watch yourself walk through it. You can see how you behave in your home. This is great. Let it inspire you! Also, you can imagine it from your point of view as I previously described. BOTH are fantastic and powerful.
You can keep a vision board and get pictures of your home. You can tour homes with real estate agents and take your a picture of the home you want. AND take pictures with YOU IN the type of home you want. DO whatever you can to make the images real to you.
It Is Okay If You Don’t Have A Plan Yet
You may not yet know how you are going to make this happen and that is okay. Keep focused on what you want. Keep savoring the wonderful feelings. The more intensely you feel these as you imagine having it the more your subconscious works on it. You will develop a plan. You may want to set a realistic deadline date, or not.
In the meantime, enjoy it. Be grateful for everything. Feel passionate about the home. Know it is coming. Expect it. Think ‘I am creating this or something better!’ Allow for something even better than what you have created to be yours. Be willing to be surprised!
Be Committed And You Will Get Results
You don’t really get anywhere because YOU aren’t COMMITTED to any one direction. To get what you want you must be focused on what you want to the exclusion of all else. Keep your eye on the prize no matter what it takes or how long. Dedicate yourself!
Don’t compare, now to then. Don’t let not having it presently keep you from not having it in the future. Don’t be wishy washy, don’t go back and forth. Focus on what you want. Intend it! Create it! Make it happen! Have backbone more than wishbone. Persist in your pursuit.
Do not focus on what you don’t want. Learn the art of self control. Stay with your goal. Know what you want and imagine getting it and having it. Learn to manage your thoughts and feelings and make them work for you. Either YOU are in charge of your thoughts or your thoughts are in charge of you. Decide which it is going to be!
The key is to turn completely away from the negative and toward the positive. DO not let present circumstances dissuade you from your goal. Do not let obstacles distract you. Keep focused on creating what you want. What you think about you bring about!
You always get results! You always get results, intended or otherwise. You want to get intended results, don’t you? Then you must know what you want. You must know where you want to go. This is the necessary first step in the journey. Then you must commit to making it happen.
If you don’t know what you want or where you want to get how do you expect to ever have it or get there? Clarify your goals and dreams today!” Rex Sikes
This is YOUR day!
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Do This When Frustrated, Angry or Feeling Bad!
“How can you tell if you are focused on what you don’t want or what you do want? It is actually easy. Your have a signaling system that you can use. It alerts you when you are on or off track. You only need to learn how to recognize it to use it. It requires is becoming aware.
Your Feelings Are Your Signal System
If you are frustrated it is a signal you are focused on what you do not want. Negative emotion is the signal you are focused on what you don’t want. When you are feeling good and have positive emotions it is a signal you are focused on what you want.
Negative emotion only means you are thinking about what you do not want. Whatever you are thinking about mostly is what you get more of. You create the conditions of your life experience. You manifest more of the same. What you think about you become.
If you are frustrated, angry, depressed, anxious, worried, fearful, blaming and accusing, whining and complaining you are spending time and energy in a less than glorious place. The feelings that cause you to blame or complain are the signal.
If you catch yourself criticizing and speaking poorly about self, others, events and situations that is a signal. A clue you are focused in less than productive ways on what you do not want.
Once you become aware you are feeling negative, feeling frustrated, and you don’t like feeling that way you can do two things. First, you can get more frustrated, and more angry, you can get more intensely negative to the point where you think and say and commit to yourself, ‘never again!’ You can ramp it up and get to that ‘this is the last straw’ point. From this point you can make changes you need to.
That is one way of dealing with it. It can and does occur naturally for people. They just get to the point where they know they have to change. That intense emotion is fine as long as it serves to take them to a place where they stop focusing on the negative and begin focusing on the positive.
The negative feelings are the signal you are not focusing on what you want. However, if you don’t change your focus to what you do want you won’t have the relief or get the results you hope for. You must wake up, pay attention to the signal and change what you are doing.
You must switch your attention. THAT IS WHAT your feelings have been trying to get you to do. You feelings are trying to GET YOUR ATTENTION enough for you to notice so you can SWITCH!
Remember, if you always do what you always did you always get what you always got. It is an opportunity to be productively different.
Clarify What You Do Want
Use the powerful negative feelings to figure out what it is you do want. Stop focusing on the negative and start focusing on the positive. Commit to staying focused on the positive. Whenever you feel negative there is an adjustment you should make. That IS the signal you are off course.
You have an internal guidance system. You have an internal GPS. You have a system designed to be self correcting. The unwanted thoughts and feelings inform you that you are off course. Don’t fight them, celebrate when you recognize the signal and make the necessary changes. Less than glorious means time to change!
Some people have spent so many years ignoring or fighting and pushing down and repressing their feelings they have difficulty telling when they are feeling good or less than glorious. Still, you can learn to pay attention and benefit from this internal guidance bit by bit, Awareness is your key! It may be more subtle but you can do it.
Commit to paying attention. Do a self inventory frequently though out the day by asking ‘how am I feeling’ . Take a moment to evaluate and be honest. It is useful to color chart your feelings using crayon or markers to indicate the changes during the day.
Notice predominant colors and notice how frequently you actually fluctuate. This is a great learning tool Give it a shot and you may surprise yourself.
You can ask someone to assist you by pointing out when you are acting in certain ways. Just don’t bite their head off when they help. The goal is to become aware when you are feeling less than glorious so you can change direction.
Second, Make Incremental Change
You change from bad to a little bit better. Step by step. The goal is to feel a bit better. Actually, the goal is to feel the best you can most of the time, but if you are intensely down or angry going from that place to joyous is too big a leap.
Going from angry to frustrated is a smaller step and a worthwhile one. You are learning to lessen the anger and move away from it.
People either get frustrated and then angry or they can get angry and cool off to frustrated. It is like a gate that can move in either direction. A swinging door. So when you are really mad the goal is to cool off and begin to think of what you do want.
If you are down you want to get to a bit better place. A place more okay and begin thinking about what you do want. If you are depressed you may want to get frustrated and angry. At least, from angry you can act.
Because it is intense you create more movement. From there you can more readily change. Regardless, one needs to get to a place where ‘enough is enough’ and then make positive productive change.
What you want makes you feel good when you think about it. If when think about what you want you feel bad you aren’ t thinking about what you do want. You probably are thinking about how you don’t have what you do want.
You won’t feel good if you compare where you are to where you want to be unless you are celebrating closing the gap. If as you inch your way forward you are delighted the entire time then it is fine.
Gratitude Helps Make Everything Better
If you celebrate everything you are on the right track and you will feel better more of the time. How can you feel down and out, frustrated, angry or bored when you are thankful and happy and delighted about everything? You can’t!
Find every little thing you can to enjoy, and appreciate. The more you find the better you will feel.
Once you make gratitude and celebration a daily habit you will be thinking and feeling good most of the time. You will be much closer to making your dreams come true as you live this way. Then your head and heart is clear to find more opportunity and advantages each day. You are better equipped to handle obstacles, and disappointment. You are far more resilient and resourceful!
When you live in gratitude and celebration everything is incredible and getting better at the same time. It is one of the wisest and most powerful choices you can make. Celebrate everything, even the tough stuff! Look for the silver lining and emphasize it. Never waste an opportunity to feel grand!” Rex Sikes
Enjoy today!
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Dream Big: Don’t Let The Details Stop You!
“What do successful people have in common? What is their mind set and behaviors? Why do they succeed while others don’t? Is there a difference between them and the other people?
Can you do what they do to get the results they have? Yes absolutely!
It is important to know what you want and to dream big.
Know your definite chief purpose and develop a burning desire or passion for it’s fulfillment.
Dream big and keep the dream before you in your minds’s eye. Think about it day and night. What consumes you controls you.
Don’t fret about the details.
Do not get caught up in the how. Do not let not knowing how you might accomplish it stop you from going after it. Go after it.
Go as far as you can go and when you get there you will see farther. Enjoy your dream. Make it fun and delightful to make it happen.
What you think about you become.
What you focus on you get. What you think about you bring about. So imagine your big dream as already completed.
Imagine what it is like to be there already. How does it feel to have made it happen? Enjoy these feelings! Let these feelings move you forward.
If life were perfect how would it feel?
How would it feel to be, do and have everything you want? Don’t just answer, ‘it’d feel great!’ FEEL IT!
Accentuate and savor the feelings. Live these feelings again and again each day. Let them drive you. This is what you want after all. You want to feel more of this. THIS, these feeling is what it is about.
Never get hung up in the details when you can feel this way.
The details will resolve themselves and you will find a way. You will develop a plan for making your dream come true.
The the more you keep it alive in your mind the more it will become clear to you. Follow your plan as it unfolds. You don’t need plans to be perfect or in their entirety the entire plan prior to beginning because plans change.
All people who succeed big pursue their dreams
People who succeed pursue their dreams and work their plans. The are dedicated and on target but flexible to change their plans along the way. The persist and adapt.
They never give up they just adjust as needed. They never let a detail stop them from getting what they want. It never occurs to them that they won’t succeed.
Read biographies of top achievers
Read the biographies of those who succeed and you will begin to see the elements they share in common. I share these here in these blog pages for you to read and re-read.
Successful people keep the big picture in mind and never let the specifics deter them. The goal is getting to the destination not how they are going to get there. Keep this in mind!
As for the journey delight in it.
Keep this in mind too! Delight in not knowing. It gives you opportunity to trust yourself and know that you are moving forward anyway.
Celebrate that good things are coming and happening to you even if you don’t know when or how. Have fun on the journey and delight in all things. When you get there you will see farther.” Rex Sikes
Have a wonderful day!
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How To Become A Real Winner
“What do you think and believe before going into your day? When you get up in the morning do you expect it to be a good or not so good day? Do expect to find smiles mostly or frowns?
Do you plan to be delighted or disappointed? When you play a game do you expect to win or to lose? What do you anticipate? What do you think and believe before going into it?
Do you expect traffic to be a bear or do you expect to enjoy the drive regardless? Do you expect to encounter friendly people and co-workers or ones who aggravate? Do you think of the world as a friendly wonderful place or a hard, cold, cruel one?
Will you profit during a bad economy or lose money? Are you going to book the role in that play or movie or will someone else? Are you going to do your best or not?
Your Expectations Set The Frame
According to researchers much of what happens is due to what we expect to happen. What we believe, think or expect shapes how we react or respond to that ‘reality’ out there. They also suggest that much of that outer reality is actually a reflection of what we do inside our minds. Our perceptions create our reality.
In other words, what we expect to find we may find. What we don’t expect to find we most likely won’t encounter. Yes, there may always be some surprises.
When you feel positive and expect that you are going to win you are much more likely to. When you feel positive and expect to have a great day it makes all the difference in how you experience the day.
When you are positive that you will accomplish your goal; you know in your heart and mind it is possible to do so and you anticipate making it happen, you are much more likely to.
Expect To Win
Our mindset is comprised of our beliefs of what we think is possible or not. It is made up of our attitude whether positive or negative. It is determined by our thoughts whether we think something will be easy or hard.
Positive thinking IS about finding a mindset that serves you well and helps you to feel better. The higher quality your thoughts the better you feel. The better you feel the more you can accomplish.
When you expect or anticipate the outcome you are seeing it in your mind happening as you want it to happen. You imagine it as already already done. You have it ! You see yourself winning. You see yourself as having won.
Your brain knows the outcome you desire and what to do about it when you repeatedly give it the same strong message and images over and over. That is why positively charged emotional repetition is important. Your brain accepts your feelings and images as real.
It knows how to align your inner resources for you to do your best. Your thoughts, feelings and behaviors all work together for that outcome. You are congruent. There is no worry, no doubt or fear, no split in your attention. You are of one mind – the winning mind.
It is easier to win if you expect to win. WHEN you EXPECT to win you already KNOW you are going to win. Your focus is not on winning, because that is a ‘given’, but on doing what is necessary to insure the win.
Your expectations set the frame for you to behave appropriately, to carry out the activities, in alignment with what you expect.
You can expect to win and still lose but at least you will have tried your best. Focusing on ‘I am going to lose, we are going to lose’ insures the inevitable. Focusing on what you need to do to win, knowing you are able to, makes it much more likely that you will.
If you know you can win; if you never quit but keep on going you will.
How You Begin Winning
Use Directed Questions™ to fill your mind with positive power and energy. Direct your mind repeatedly to what it is you want. Fill your mind with questions that lead you to where you want to go. Questions are powerful because your mind continues to work on them after you ask them and it IS the natural way our minds work.
Use affirmations Affirm it to yourself. Repeat over and over that you are a winner (or whatever it is you want). Develop 5 or 10 that you repeatedly chant while feeling the best you can. Say them out load enthusiastically and powerfully. Feel wonderful while you do. Think about them when you can’t say them out loud.
Make Positive Mental Movies Make positive movies and pictures in your head and review these again. See yourself looking, feeling and doing what you want to be doing. Imagine the outcome you want as though you already have it. See, hear, feel everything you doing and how are you feeling when you ‘got it’. See, it, feel it, hear it.
Read and Listen to inspirational and motivational material each day. Read whatever you are able to read. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. It is better to read less material more frequently than too much too little of the time. Read at least a page a day.
Practice Gratitude! Be grateful for where you are at. Be grateful for the progress you make. Be grateful for the challenges (muscles grow because of opposition, use the challenges as learning experiences). Celebrate and be grateful for everything. It improves your attitude and opens you up to more opportunity.
Isn’t It Difficult
Won’t it be hard? Well, if you don’t golf and you give it a try it will seem unfamiliar, difficult and you may not be very good at first. BUT if you desire to get good at golf you will do whatever it takes and you won’t stop doing those things that make you better. You will practice and play as much as you can. You will read about it watch it, get a coach and you will get better and better in time.
This is true about anything we want to do; sing, play piano, knit, ride a bike, drive, swim, play tennis, type, do mathematics, act, edit, write. It is the same process when we take control of our mind to develop a winning mindset!
Two Great Quotes
When you expect things to happen – strangely enough – they do happen. J.P. Morgan
Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you’ll be able to see farther. J.P. Morgan
You will make your dreams and your goals come about much more swiftly when all of you co-operates to bring them about. When you are congruent in your quest and all your thoughts, feelings, talents, and abilities, your resources, are aligned.
When you are of one powerful mindset, one determined attitude, you are unstoppable. You will keep going until you have what you want. The more you do, the further you go, the more you are able to do and the more you can keep on going,
Do whatever you can, even a little bit each day, to develop your attitude and turn yourself into a Can Do person and you will be surprised at how quickly it all takes hold.
Consistent, positive, correct repetition will develop the skills and habits you need to become a full time winner. Begin today and get a jump on making your dreams come true!” Rex Sikes
Have a fantastic day!
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Do This: You Must Speak This Way To Get Everything You Want!
“How you say things to others does matter, right? There are ways you can talk to someone that increases the likelihood you might get your way or what you want from them and then there are ways that decrease that likelihood, wouldn’t you agree? How you speak and how you approach someone matters, don’t you think?
Then why would be any different when we speak to ourselves? There are ways we can speak to insure we get what we want. There also are ways of speaking to ourselves to insure we won’t get what we want. This makes sense, right?
Speak Positively: Say What You Want
The best way to get what you want it to speak in positive terms. Phrase your language positively. Instead of pointing out what you don’t want point out what you do want.
Perhaps, you have heard this example. When you tell a child ‘don’t spill your milk’ what is the internal mental image the child has to make? The child sees herself spilling the milk.
Then what typically happens? What do you follow up with saying to the child? You typically say, ‘I told you not to spill your milk!’ Right? Because shortly after you said ‘don’t spill’ the child did.
If you tell someone, ‘don’t get mad at me’ what do they usually do? When you say ‘you never listen to me’ does it really help much. My guess, is at that point they start talking about how they do listen.
It is the same as with the example, ‘don’t think of an elephant’. Your mind responds to the language but doesn’t process the word don’t. It doesn’t take it as a command to NOT do something, it only understands what to do, ‘think of elephant’; ‘spill milk’; ‘never listen’.
It Matters What We Think And Say
How we say things to others matters! What we say to ourselves matters too! If you say, ‘don’t forget to pick up bread on the way home’ you forget just as easily as your partner does.
One way to combat this is to express both sides. If you catch yourself saying, ‘don’t forget’ then add ‘remember to get it’. ‘Don’t spill! Carry it carefully.’ This way the picture in their mind or yours is what you want it to be. You want them and you to picture what you want to have occur.
Brains work this way. They delete the negative words and take the rest as a command. This is why we need to focus on what we want and to state things in the positive. This is why we want to think positively. So that we get more of what we want to be, do and have!
While it is true that consciously you know what is meant by ‘don’t spill’ and you can successfully over ride the command and the internal image or representation to spill it, you still had to represent it to yourself. Your mind still made the pictures of you spilling it.
Your conscious mind is tiny by comparison to your unconscious, or subconscious, or other than conscious mind. You don’t want to fill your larger powerful subconscious mind with images of what you don’t want to happen for any reason. NO you want to fill this powerful mind with what you do want to happen! Get it?
Fill Your Subconscious With What You Want
You want to fill your subconscious mind with what you want to happen because your subconscious mind is a ‘servant mechanism’ or servo-mechanism. The main task it has IS to carry out and fulfill the commands you give it. What are you giving it most of the time?
Are you giving it what you want so it can bring you more of what you want OR are you mostly focused on what you don’t want; fear, negativity, worry, lack, not having enough to make ends meet etc.
What you give it to work on it will deliver! Whichever dog you feed will live. You either plant food or poison. It is either positive or negative. Which energy ball is larger? Your positive ball of energy or your negative one? (see previous blogs for some of these references).
Phrase your language in the positive. Instead of saying, ‘don’t be late’ say ‘please be on time’. Get it? Instead of saying, ‘I’ll never lose weight’ say ‘I can eat healthy foods and feel proud.’ or ‘The more healthy I eat the more I feel great’. or ‘I can reach my ideal weight through right eating and exercising and feeling good’.
When you speak to yourself and others don’t blame, criticize or whine. Don’t point out what is wrong, what you don’t like or don’t want. Look for what is good and what is right, what you enjoy, what you want more of.
Speak Only To Bless, Heal And Prosper
Point out these things. Always speak only to bless, heal and prosper others and yourself. Keep you talk with others and your self-talk positive.
Tell your brain precisely what you want it to do, to pay attention to and to give you more of. Direct it positively by using positive language. Direct it by telling it what you do want. This is what affirmations are about.
Make the right mental images in your head so your brain knows what you want it to do. DO it over and over again until it becomes an automatic habit, second nature so you don’t have to think about it. Then you will be creating more of what you want more of the time and less of what you don’t want less of the time.
Do you get it? You become what you think about most often! You get what you focus on. What you think about you bring about. The dog you feed is the dog that lives! You reap what you sow. If you plant images in your head of what you don’t want and then you get that you really shouldn’t be surprised or dismayed.
Own Your Mind Own Your Behavior
Take control of your own mind and behavior. Put a guard before your lips and be careful what you think and say to yourself and others. Whatever you are thinking about and talking about you are bringing about. You are always creating!
So if you don’t like what you have, where you are at, your circumstances or results you need to change what you are doing, saying and focused on to get the ones you do want.
Don’t delay Do it today! See how that works? Both sides represented. Always remember to direct your mind toward what you want it to do. Keep it simple.
As you would speak to a child;’walk carefully’. You wouldn’t say ‘navigate well the horrendous pitfalls along the walkway maintaining your balance by placing your center of gravity in such a way…’ you would say, ‘walk carefully’, or ‘walk tall’ or ‘stand up straight’ or ‘smile more’. or ‘think happy thoughts’. Keep it simple.
Be direct! Be positive. Speak in positive terms. Think positive. Fill your mind and hours with positivity and notice how wonderful your life becomes. Pay attention and delight in all the good things you notice. Celebrate and be filled with gratitude and your life will become beyond amazing!” Rex Sikes
How incredible can this day be?
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Do This If The Results You Get Suck: Do This To Win!
“Why do I repeat themes in blogs? Why should you re-read inspirational material? Why look at posters and keep motivational sayings in your eyesight? Why repeat affirmations and positive question and make mental movies again and again? Why? Why? Why?
Skill Is Developed By Rehearsal And Practice
Because muscles grows through repetitive exercise. Skill IS developed by rehearsal and practice. Memory and learning is enhanced by repeated exposure. Habits are formed over time by repeating the same behaviors.
Some of us miss the obvious each and every time! Again and again we just don’t notice it in front of us. It is difficult in this busy age to get and keep one’s attention. Messages are repeated over and over and over again to create awareness. Once is not enough.
Imagine if the piston in your car pumped only one time and stopped. In order to move your auto’s engine has to repeat the same behavior over and over again. In order to grow and develop positive, powerful, automated habits that serve you productively you have to repeat the skill set over and over again without quitting.
So I repeat messages in a variety of ways. I repeat important themes and points and practices. This way your mind is continually bombarded, so long as you read my posts, with an important theme. You become what you think about. You get what you focus on. What you think about you bring about.
What You Rehearse And Practice Is Critical
If you are not getting what you want in life then you aren’t doing the right things to get them. If your results are not what you want, or they are poor you aren’t doing what is necessary to make them better. If you are worried, fearful, anxious or blaming, if you see lack, debt and unhappiness then you are focused on what you do not want.
What is predominant in your mind is not what you do want but what you do not like about your present circumstances. What occupies your attention isn’t all the good things, but how things aren’t right. You never become rich thinking poor thoughts. You never get happy blaming others. In order to get what you want you have to be focused mostly on what you want. That is the way it works!!!
If you are thinking about what you don’t want most of the time, out of habit, or for whatever reason, THAT IS WHAT YOU are rehearsing and practicing. The lackluster or poor or negative results are a result of what you are doing over and over again.
You are practicing. You are mentally rehearsing. You are creating and YOU are getting exactly what you don’t want because that is what you are inadvertently focused on. You may think you are focused on what you want but you aren’t.
YOU MUST REALIZE You Are Always Creating
You cannot NOT create. You may be creating what you want or what you don’t want THAT is up to what you are doing. If you don’t like what you are getting STOP doing it! Stop creating it! Stop it!
START creating what you do want! In order to do that YOU must change what you are thinking about and how you are thinking about it. If you want your life to change then you must change things in your life.
YOU must think predominantly, most all of the time, positively, about what you DO WANT in order to get what you want! You must fill your mind with what you want to be, do and have. This must become your obsession, what you think about most of the time.
Your results show you what you are focused on. If you feel less than glorious your feelings are informing you what you are focused on. If your self talk is critical of self or others, if it is blaming and negative, your self talk is telling you what you are focused on.
Only YOU Have’t Gotten The Message Yet
To change and make life better you can’t be focused on how things aren’t working well. You have to choose to think better thoughts, make better mental images, manage your self-talk and powerfully affirm positive messages and stay focused on these. You must stay focused on what you DO want NOT what you don’t want.
I want you to realize that anything you think you need to make changes you already possess within you. Yes, you may have to tap deep to find and utilize under utilized skills and resources but you already have what you need. That is great news! You have the abilities!
You may have to learn how to control your attention, take responsibility, make a decision and stick with it but those abilities are already yours. You may need to grow those muscles strong. They only grow strong through repeated use, repetition and opposition.
I remind you with these articles.
You Bring About What You Think About
I invite you to visit frequently throughout the day and read and re-read posts and blogs. Through repeated exposure you will begin to ‘get it’ if you haven’t already. Through repeated application of the principles you grow the muscles necessary to transform your life.
Transformation CAN happen in an instant! It need not take much time at all. Transformation can occur slowly over weeks, months and years. Whatever happens, however it happens, whenever it happens is completely up to you. It will happen just stick with it!
For some it will occur more quickly, for others not as fast. It doesn’t matter. Don’t compare yourself to others. That is silly. Just keep at it and have fun. Even if you change bit by bit you are changing. Have fun and delight in the process, be thrilled with your journey. Celebrate everything!
The goal is to feel good, enjoy life, live in high vibrations. Have fun, and delight. Imagine being filled with joy. Your thoughts, your beliefs, your attitudes determine whether you find blessings or not. These determine whether you feel good or not and what you will or will not do.
Transformation Can Happen In An Instant
Take control! Take responsibility. Ensure that you think and believe the very best. Make your attitude serve you and not the other way around. Take charge! Live as a champion! Live as victor. Live as a winner! Live as a person who creates what you want!
Fill your mind with powerful, inspirational, motivational thoughts and you feel better and are more productive. It works but you have to keep at it until it becomes a habit. After that you keep at it because it is habit and because you enjoy it.
Remember, the goal is to feel the best you are able to at any time. Sometimes that means out of the universe joyful bliss while at other times that means okay. Seek to feel as good as possible and you will learn to feel better and better more and more of the time.
Do not wait for it to happen. It won’t! Do not think others can do it for you. They can’t. Only you can do it and it is now or never. Some day never arrives. Magic can happen but realize you are the magician. Allow yourself to feel blessed. Allow yourself to receive good things. Get out of your own way and enjoy!
Fill Your Mind With Gratitude And Celebration
That is why I repeat over again important messages. If you haven’t taken complete charge yet, the hope is that, some day you might. You may just have to hear the message enough times to make the important decision. Then, on that day, you will.
You may have to read it many times until you finally say, ‘enough already, I am changing the way I live! I accept 100% responsibility and I am going to make the difference in my life. I am going to stop creating what I do not want and begin creating what I do want!’
In that moment, with that decision, and what happens right after that moment, your life can instantly change for the better. A decision is not an actual decision until you follow through. The second you decide and you actually act on it is when the decision is made.
THEN let nothing ever deter you from that decision. Keep at it. You can not fail you can only quit. If you never quit and you do the right things consistently long enough, soon you will have what you want.
From the very moment you act on your decision your life will begin to transform. It is absolutely so wonderful, you will be amazed and find it incredible. Celebrate!” Rex Sikes
How will you make the most of this wonderful new day?
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Rex Sikes' Daily Inspiration and Gratitude 