Tag Archives: Visualization

Act As If, Attitude, Autosuggestion, Creating The Future, Emotions, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Habit Formation, Intentional Thinking, Mental Movie Theater, Positive Affirmations, Rehearsal And Practice, Self Talk, Visualization

There Is Only One, Big Reason You Don’t Have What You Want!

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Want To Change Your Life- copy

“Most people desire things. What do you want? Do you want any of the following? You want the perfect career;  success;  a fine home; a loving, lasting relationship; that special car; jewelry and many other things. You want to travel, eat in fine restaurants and have lots of cash. You want to be out of debt and able to afford anything you want. What is it?

You want things but you don’t have them. Something holds you back.  There is ONE, single, big reason why you do not have exactly what you want, yet. It is important that you understand this.

The ONLY Reason You Don’t Have What You Want YET Is Because

YOU don’t see yourself with it!

You see yourself without it. You imagine not having it. You may imagine wanting it but inside your mind and heart you don’t have it. You see yourself without it. It is not an inner reality for you.

In order to have it

YOU must FIRST

See yourself WITH it.

I repeat:

You Must See Yourself With It In Order To Have It

If you don’t construct it first in the theater of your mind you won’t have it in your life. The outer reality comes from the inner reality and not the other way around. This is what you and most everyone of us miss. Thought precedes action! See it and you can have it!

The brain can’t go after what it doesn’t see or know it wants. You must inform it. You must tell it. You must teach it. The way you do that is to SHOW IT! The brain only responds to pictures and feelings that are intense and in present tense. You must see yourself having it NOW not some day. NOW!

You must see yourself ALREADY having it. You must see yourself as already in possession of that which you want. You must see yourself being it, doing it, having it, enjoying it. You must imagine life ‘as if’ you are already living that future reality and FEEL these feelings.

This is how you program your mind to go after what you want!

Visualization Should Always Be In The Present

Take the future out of your visualization. It must not be ‘some day I will have this’.

It must be ‘I AM this’.

Don’t think, affirm or visualize ‘I will be happy’ or ‘I will be rich’. Think and see ‘I am happy’. I am rich’.

You must use I AM or I HAVE to put your wants into the present tense. Whatever follows the words I AM or I HAVE is crucial. It must be stated in the positive. You must say ‘I AM Rich’ and  not ‘I am not poor’.

It must be deliberate and specific. See it, hear it, feel it, taste it, smell it. Imagine how good it feels in full, vibrant color. In 3 dimensions. Wonderful movies with complete sound and marvelous feelings.

Visualize Having It – Enjoy It – FEEL The Wonderful Feelings

Visualize why you want it. Imagine the reasons. Imagine the benefits you have from being, doing or having this. You’ll have peace of mind, enjoyment, love, happiness, confidence, etc. Enjoy all the benefits and all the incredible feelings right this instant as you visualize.

Do not worry about how you get it. Le go of the ‘how’ it happens. It is not your concern. You job is What and Why. How will take care of itself in time. The Wright Brothers did not know, prior to their first successful flight, how to fly. You won’t know how at first either.

You will discover soon enough the how and the plans becoming available to you as you keep what you want to have in your mind’s eye. This is where faith and trust in your inner resourcefulness comes in.

Trust that your mind will deliver the plan as you go along. Never be concerned with how only with the what and why. Give it over to god, or the universe or your unconscious processes while you focus on what and why. Do not get caught up in how – it won’t help you get it!

To help you make it most vivid describe what you want in your mind. Hand write it out on paper. Choose your words to help you visualize with more detail and realistically. Use powerful adjectives that make your description not only more vivid and realistic but delightful and wonderful.

Make mental movies of what you are doing, who you are with, where you are and fill in all the details. See yourself in the movie being what you want to be, doing what you want to do and having what you want to have. See yourself WITH IT! Right NOW!!!

In Order To Have It See Yourself In Possession Of It

Whether that ‘it’ is confidence, or a car IMAGINE what it is like to be it and own it. Feel it! Wrap yourself in the feelings. Bask in the feelings.

The most important part of this visualization process is to feel as though you already have it AND delight in the incredible feelings. Feel the gratitude and appreciation you’d have.

For example AND I use this only as an example. I do not recommend this playing the lottery.

If you imagined you won the lottery how would you REALLY feel if you looked in your hands and saw the winning ticket and knew that money was now going to be yours?

Believe It – Have Faith – Expect It – Because It Is Already Yours

How would you feel to take the ticket and have it verified that you indeed won. After that, it is only a matter of time until they cut you the check. You have won.

How do you feel knowing that money is yours? Even though you don’t have it in your hands it is designated to you. It is your money and it is coming sometime soon. HOW DO YOU FEEL? WHAT DO YOU FEEL?

I’m gonna bet you probably are feeling pretty fantastic! Am I correct?

Consider this: Nothing in your actual, present time, real life experience, has changed. From the moment your winning numbers are called to when you get the check nothing is different in your circumstances.

BUT your head is different. Your awareness has changed. You know it is your money. You know it is coming. You won it. You now have all this money headed your way.

BUT nothing has changed in your outer circumstances. Any challenges you had are still there. The people in your life, the house you are in, everything is still the same. Yet, you have changed on the inside. You feel and see another reality.

It is those feelings that make the difference! The feelings of already having. The feelings of knowing it is yours! You expect the money. You know it is yours. You believe it.

You Change First On The Inside Then Circumstances Follow

This is the kind of knowing that is important. This is what is meant when we say, Believe it and you will see it! Expect it.  When you have these powerful feelings of expectation that this GOOD is yours, even though circumstances haven’t changed, you and your life are transformed.

Another powerful way to imagine is to include moments when you can you live it and view it through your own eyes. For example, one way is seeing yourself in the car you want to own. Watch yourself get into it and drive and notice how good you look behind the wheel.

The other way is to put yourself in the driver’s seat and look out through the windshield, over your hands on the steering wheel. Feel the comfort of the seat. Feel your hands on the wheel and the sensation of driving the car. In other words, imagine exactly what it feels like to be driving the car.

In the first version you watch yourself drive the car and you notice how good it feels to see yourself do this. In the second version you feel exactly what it is like to be driving the car. You see what you see, and hear what you hear and feel what you feel as you drive along.

Program Your Mind – Visualize  Daily – Make It A Habit

You see what you see from your point of view inside the car. You hear through your ears the sounds of the auto and the roadway. You also hear your inner self-talk and what you say to yourself.

You enjoy the feelings in your body, your emotions and the sensations of driving this car on the road. You can notice what the new car smells like. Experience it as fully as you can.

Repeat this daily and often. See it, claim it, affirm it as already yours and you will make it happen. You become what you think about. You get what you focus on. What you think about you bring about. Spend time doing this each day and you program your mind to get what you want. You literally impress what you want onto and into the subconscious mind.

Know that this or something better is yours. Let go of how. Simply enjoy it. Feel it fully and feel how exciting it is. Visualize before you go to bed and when you arise in the morning. Set you night and your morning mind in positive ways. Remember, you get what you focus on. In order to have it you must first see yourself with it.

What you imagine in you head you can hold in your hand. This is how you begin to make your dreams a reality. First you create the inner reality and that becomes the outer reality. It has always worked this way. Everything that humans have ever made first began as an idea. It begins within your mind. Stop living without what you want and start making it happen.” Rex Sikes

How much delight can you enjoy today?

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I’M GOING TO LAUNCH THE NEW SITE SOON  –  Daily Inspiration And Gratitude’s new home is coming!  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this and new content will be at new site.

Some of you get this blog emailed to you, I don’t know whether that will continue or not. You will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter.

Please stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place. I might launch and update as we go along.

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so.

PSS  A great practice is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

Act As If, Affirmations, Attitude, Autosuggestion, Decision, Directed Questions™, Focus, Habit Formation, Intentional Thinking, Mental Movie Theater, Mindset, Persistence, Positive Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Self Talk, Visualization

Stop Being A Loser: How To Become A Winner!

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What You Think About You Bring About. (1) copy

“What can you do to feel better? What can you do to help make your dreams and desires a reality? Whether it is your career goals, a relationship, purchasing your dream home or having an incredible life there is something you can and must do to get it all working for you.

If you want to have what you want to have, and do what you want to do, it is important that you FIRST be what you want to and need to be. Everything you accomplish and gain comes first and foremost from who you are. It comes from the kind of person you are.

Identity Comes First – Who Before What

If you want happiness you must be a happy person first. That is the rule. If you want success and riches you must be successful and rich in your mind first then worldly riches follow. If you want to have great love and relationships you must love yourself first.

So before anything else you need to work on who you are!

So who are you? What kind of person are you? Are you a happy, positive, productive person? Are you a healthy, wealthy, loving person? Are you invincible and confident? Are you able to learn anything you put your mind to?

What image do you hold of yourself?

Building your positive self image is the most powerful practice you can engage in daily.  Every single day, at least twice and as often as you can, you need to spend time building this powerful self image. You spend time imagining the person you want to be. you go inside your mental movie theater and use your imagination to create the ideal you you always wanted to be.

See yourself as the person who is able to do and have everything you want to do and have. In your mind you ‘be it’ first. Thought precedes action. Then everything else will follow. What you think about you bring about. What you focus on you get. What you think about all day long is what you become.

If you can see it in your head you will one day hold it in your hand. This is why, Einstein said, ‘Imagination is more important than knowledge’.  Create the reality first on the inside and you will have it on the outside. Mind First then Actions Follow!

Everything You Do And Have Stems From Your Self Image

Use your imagination to see who you are. This is much more important than knowing how you do what you do or buy what you want. Use your imagination daily and it will become easier, richer, more vivid and more real.

If at first you only have a vague sense that is okay. It will clear up the more you do it. Stick with it. Spend 20 minutes twice a day if you can. At least. But if you truly can’t then do 5 minutes twice a day. After all, you are worth that much aren’t you? Your ability to visualize gets better the more you exercise it just as developing any muscle.

The important this is to image yourself and feel the feelings of being that self you want to be. Enjoy and celebrate how incredible it feels. Bask in the feelings. The feelings are the key component to your visualization. Your words and what you say about it is too. Use these together to reinforce you you want. Stay positive in all regards.

How do you build it? You build it by visualizing yourself as you want to be. See yourself as having already arrived. In your mind you act as if you are already everything you want to become.

You are already that! In reality it is true – you are already that person – even if you are not living as that person would. That is the real you, the ideal you, the person who is inside you that you need to let out. You ARE already that which you want to become. Claim it!

You affirm daily to yourself and out loud who this person is. You put a guard before your tongue so that your talk to others is only positive, to bless, heal and prosper yourself and them.  Your personal story and descriptions arise from this ‘ideal self’ so don’t go sabotaging your efforts by whining, complaining and blaming.

Ask Directed Questions™ that keep you focused on your ideal self. Ask questions that keep you moving in the direction you are moving towards. Direct your mind. So work on first establishing being the kind of person for whom all this is possible.

The most powerful visualization you can do for yourself is to first begin working on your self image.

Imagination Is More Important Than Knowledge

See you as you want to be. See yourself as whole, not broken. See yourself as complete. See yourself as happy, fulfilled, confident, successful. See yourself learning and continuing to evolve. See yourself smart, wise, experienced.

See yourself as you want to be! As you are meant to be. See yourself as divine, inspired, motivated. See yourself as powerful, positive and compassionate. See yourself as decisive and persistent and able to follow through. See yourself as worthy and deserving of all good things.

See yourself as someone who can learn to do anything you put your mind to. See yourself as someone who can accomplish what you set out to do. See yourself motivated, take charge and in control. See yourself going for it and completing it.

Imagine yourself as someone who is optimistic and expects wonderful things to come your way. See yourself as someone joyful on the journey.

See yourself as one  who listens and who is compassionate and thoughtful of others. See someone who is valuable, abundant and worthy and recognizes that in others too. See someone with much to be happy for and rich in all ways. See someone who is thankful.

Every Day Imagine The Ideal You

See yourself with loving relationships and good connections with friends, family and even strangers. See yourself as loving and kind and compassionate. See yourself as helpful and encouraging to others.

See yourself as someone who can speak confidently and appreciate meeting and being with others. See yourself as someone who likes to explore new places, activities and ideas. See yourself as someone curious and filled with life. See yourself appreciating the tiny miracles of each moment.

Imagine yourself as someone who likes to do new things. Imagine yourself captivated and fascinated by what you discover that is good and new each day. See yourself celebrating and being grateful for everything and everyone in your life

Imagine yourself to be the kind of person who will get up after falling down. See yourself as a person who persists and keeps  your commitments and promises to self and others. See yourself as someone who learns from mistakes and never lets anything get them or keep them down for long. See yourself as someone who is unstoppable and who is able to learn.

Imagine yourself as someone open and flexible. Imagine yourself as one who can and will make whatever you positive things you want to happen, that are good for you and others, happen. You are confident and capable. See yourself as willing to learn how to do whatever is necessary to make your dreams come true by applying yourself and discovering more of your resources.

It Gets Easier And Easier The More You Do It

See yourself as happy and fulfilled. See yourself, not only as worthy and deserving but, as able to enjoy all the wonderful things you want. Imagine yourself as meant to do and have these incredible things because you are the kind of person for whom these things are meant for. You wouldn’t want them if you weren’t meant to have them.

Visualize yourself as you want to be and see yourself as already that. Feel what it feels like to be who and what and how you want to be. Hear what you sound like when you speak out loud and the sound of your own supportive and encouraging self-talk.

See how bright and wonderful the world appears through your eyes. Live it! Feel it fully! Appreciate these wonderful feelings and wrap them around you. Bask in these. Feelings drive the show. From the images we make feelings arise. Use these positive feelings by enjoying and accentuating them.

THIS IS CRITICAL!!!

Imagine everything as if it were real right now. This instant! This is you and your current reality! Do not imagine it being sometime in the future, imagine you are it right now! Don’t delay it for another time. You subconscious doesn’t know when someday is. It is eternally present. It acts now.

Act as if you are already that which you want to become with powerful positive wonderful feelings and your subconscious mind will get the message and respond. This is what is meant by using autosuggestion deliberately to get what we want. This is the conditioning process.

Just as pro athletes condition themselves for success so do the rest of us when we realize how important and valuable it is. Athletes work at it every single day. The provide themselves the right nutrition, the right amount of exercise and rest.

Every pro athlete knows the necessity of having the right mind set to gain the competitive edge. This is what we all must do in everyday life!

Wrap The Positive Feelings Around You 

Everything we do or accomplish arises from who we are. Our self image is important. Our thoughts about ourselves critical. If you want happiness and success to follow you YOU must first be happiness and success. It is the ‘who’ who does and gets what one wants. Your self image is so important to all of your happiness.

That is the way it works. ‘To those who have more shall be given’. Start by making yourself happy, resilient, flexible, successful, blissful and all else will follow. Begin with the best of you! Spend time developing the self image you want. Be like an athlete dedicated to you. Be devoted to being and doing the best for yourself!

IT is a choice. You are not saddled with or a victim of anything that you can’t right now choose to make different. Each second you have a choice to perpetuate an old way or develop and live from a new way. If the old way causes pain and suffering or if it is not working then it is time to chose another way, a new way.

Self Image Development Is Critical To Getting What You Want

Every truly happy and successful person already does this. Either they learned it growing up, lucky them, or later they became aware of the need to consciously choose. You make a decision. It is a deliberate choice. You can make this choice right now for yourself.

Know this. It is very simple. It is easy although it may not always be easy. You have to commit and stick with it when times get tough. That is just the way it is. If you want a radical positive life change than you must invest in yourself, and see it through. Everyone who arrives has to go through this.

There are times when an athlete wants to give up. In order to become the best they need to push through it and continue. They need to apply the training skills they have learned to keep going.

There is no getting a medal if they quit. They use their mental attitude to keep moving forward. That separates those who do and succeed from those who give up and go home.

It takes some time. Just as it takes time to build a house it takes time to build your self image in a positive way. You lay a strong firm foundation and once you do that you can build successsfully on top of it.  Once you begin this process, as you lay the foundation, it will get easier because you have that foundation to support you.

Self Image Development Is Critical To Enjoying What You Want

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly at first. You get better in time the more you repeat the process correctly. You build positive habits. Anything worth having is worth the effort you put in to gain it. You have to pay the price. It is not for free. You have to labor to get what you want.

As it becomes habit it becomes automatic and reliable. Still, there are times when you deliberately choose to direct it. You drive your car in the same way. It is habitual and unconscious. You should never get behind the wheel when not fully conscious, alert, and sober.

Driving requires your conscious awareness and the unconscious the skills you learned and made habit. It is both. Use your conscious mind to direct your unconscious mind to become who you are destined to be.

You direct your inner movies the same way a movie director does. Put it together how you want it to be. Write your positive story. Your mental screenplay. Direct your mind as a traffic cop does. Be in charge of the flow. Take control of what you accept and reject. Make it how you want it. You are a master chef with all the right ingredients and the skills necessary. Make a marvelous dish!

As you do this you will create the new neural pathways replacing the old limiting ones. You will change to a new mental address just as when you move from one residence to another in actual life. It takes awhile to learn and recall and travel to the new address but once you ‘get it’ you automatically go there and let go of the old one.

Replace The Old With The New Easily

Your new self image will replace the old one of you. The one you did not deliberately choose. It will replace the one you were provided by others. Now you are free to choose to be who you want to be. You are free to choose the kind of person you are. This is incredible freedom and power you have available to you.

Spend time visualizing yourself each day and you will be surprised at how life can change and become more wonderful. You will find new things to delight and appreciate. If you have never spent time there you do not know what you are not noticing. You aren’t aware of what you are missing. Begin changing your life for the better now!

Update And Upgrade Your Self And Celebrate The New You

As you visualize and improve your self-image you will begin to notice your life becomes more enriching. As you place you attention in these new areas you find and learn new things to appreciate. Celebration helps you move forward and feel wonderful.

It all builds on itself. Once you take the small necessary steps you begin to walk a journey that continues to become more and more glorious as you continue forward. You discover more beauty and glory than you could have previously imagined. You negotiate and navigate through troubles easier and more resourcefully.

It is a process. All along the way you continue to move forward. Whether you walk easily into the valley or on the straight-a-way or whether you struggle up a hillside you are moving forward. You create momentum and continue delightfully on the journey.

You are moving forward in the right direction! You are coming into your strength and creative power. You are evolving yourself in a positive direction. You are releasing the person you have always been meant to be. Enjoy the process. Begin now and do not stop. Keep going until it pays off because the pay off is magnificent!” Rex Sikes

Make the day magical!!

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I’M GOING TO LAUNCH THE NEW SITE SOON  –  Daily Inspiration And Gratitude’s new home is coming!  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this and new content will be at new site.

Some of you get this blog emailed to you, I don’t know whether that will continue or not. You will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter.

Please stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place. I might launch and update as we go along.

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so.

PSS  A great practice is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

Attitude, Creating The Future, Emotions, Focus, Habit Formation, Intentional Thinking, Visualization

Without This You Are Like A Ship Without A Rudder

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blue-horizons-phil-koch

“Does it seem like you work hard and still get no where? You put in effort for a long time but it seems you are spinning your wheels? Are you going around in circles? Do you have difficulty moving forward consistently? Perhaps, you advance a couple of steps only to fall back a few more. Is this you?

Today, I would like to paraphrase a couple of Napoleon Hill’s powerful analogies. I love Hill. If you haven’t read his works yet, I heartily suggest that you do.

Hill states that a person needs to have a Definite Purpose in order to succeed. One should be absolutely clear about one wants and intends to do. It should be clarified and written down and enthusiastically read out loud at least twice a day.

You Need To Have A  Definite Purpose

Print it out and put it somewhere you will look at it a lot during the day. Keep it before you on the outside AND on the inside. In your mind’s eye see your goal as already accomplished. Feel what it is like to enjoy having what you want. Savor and bask in these feelings. Make them intense. The stronger they are the better it is. Hill says ’emotionalize’ your definite purpose!

Without a Definite Purpose, Hill states, you are like a ship in the middle of the ocean that loses it’s rudder. The ship struggles along going in circles, getting no where fast. All it’s efforts do it no good. Soon it will exhaust all of its power, all of its energy, and it will not make it to its destination.

Hard work alone will not get you where you want to go. You can work hard and get no where at all. Working hard without the correct specified mind set IS like being that ship without the rudder. You need to be able to steer your efforts appropriately based on what you absolutely want most.

Know what you want. Think success first. Get your mind set right. Feel successful. Become confident you can do it. Then all of your efforts will be aligned with your mind set and will valuable. Specify your purpose and steer your ship. Then all of your energy is aligned and utilized correctly to move you to the place you want to be.

Hill’s other analogy is marvelous! He uses it to illustrate the power of Organized Effort. Organized Effort is where all of your talents and abilities, resources and plans are aligned and congruent with your purpose and working in harmony. This is how you maximize your efforts to make your dreams come true.

Harness The Power Of Organized Effort

In an experiment, you most likely have conducted sometime in your life, or at least you’ve seen it done, you take a magnifying glass. This glass represents your Definite Purpose. Aim the glass at definite spot on a piece of paper. The glass focuses the sun’s rays and harness it’s power and soon the paper bursts into flames.

Without the magnifying glass focusing the sun’s rays on a definite spot the sun can shine on that same paper for millions of years without anything happening.

Determine your Definite Purpose. Know what you want. Feel good about it. If it doesn’t make you feel wonderful it isn’t for you. Focus your attention and direct your energies and efforts so you can move forward productively. You must have a purpose first or you will get nowhere. Notice Hill emphasizes your mind set over and above your actions. From your Definite Purpose you make Organized Effort.

Hill states these three things are necessary to succeed. The first is to know what you want. Have a Definite Purpose. Second, concentrate on it so that it becomes a Burning Desire. Your definite purpose occupies your thoughts day and night resulting in incredible, intense feelings. Third, take Appropriate Action through Organized Effort.

Have A Burning Desire

When your mind set is correct and your are passionate about achieving your goals then you be able to take the appropriate steps to making it a reality. Your thoughts and feelings will be in harmony. When these are aligned you are better able to create plans and work your plans. You will know the right steps to take. Everything begins to fall into place.

When you put these three principles into play you stop spinning your wheels and start advancing your goals and dreams. When you concentrate your energies and attention you make them available in your daily life. You become what you think about. You become clear, passionate and powerful.

You create and attract like minded people who resonate with your attitude and presence. You are better able to utilize resources and notice opportunities, events and circumstances that can help you. You transform yourself first and your life transforms with you.

Thoughts And Feelings Come First

You become the magnifying glass able to harness and focus the power to make your dreams come true. Once your mind set is correct and your definite purpose energized you are on your way to making it reality in your everyday life.

Remember, Hill said write it out and repeat it out loud enthusiastically, passionately at least twice a day. Energize your purpose. Feel great about it! Keep it in your mind. Affirm it. See it, hear it, touch it, smell it, taste it. When you hold it in your head you will someday hold it in your hand. Go for it and keep at it! Never stop!

If you have been working hard with not much to show for it realize now that transformation begins within. It is what you do on the inside that’s most important. Get that right and the rest will fall into place. Presently, you may have had the cart before the horse. It’s time to make the necessary change and create the life you want!” Rex Sikes

Have an incredible day! Enjoy!

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so.

PSS  A great practice is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  COMING VERY SOON –  Daily Inspiration And Gratitude’s new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this and new content will be at new site. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. You will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. Please stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Creating The Future, Focus, Habit Formation, Intentional Thinking, Positive Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Positive Thoughts, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Visualization

What To Do When You Can’t Stop Obsessing!

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horizon red bench in snow

“Have you ever been bothered by a thought that seems unrelenting?No matter how many times you tried not to think about it the thought persisted.

That can be really tough when we want to stop thinking about certain things but cannot, wouldn’t you agree. Would you like to learn how you can change this?

In my workshops and seminars through the past decades I would point out the way we think and remember things. Most of us can do this quite easily. If you want to learn,  I invite you to play along and notice what happens.

In workshops I speak this out loud while participants close their eyes, follow along and notice. It’s most effective if instead of reading I could ask you to close your eyes while I speak, but it will have  to suffice for you read along and imagine. You can still easily do it. JUST really, do what I suggest.

I am going to say (write) some words and I want you to notice what comes to mind and how. TAKE YOUR TIME and fully do the exercise as much as possible.

Okay, ready, here we go:

What do you think of, when I write, or say,the word DOG?

THINK of one!

Did you think of one? Notice what dog comes to mind. If you didn’t go ahead and do so now. What kind of dog did you think of? Was it a specific dog? Whose dog is or was it, where and when. Did you just see a dog or did you remember being with a particular dog?

ALL answers are correct answers since there is no right or wrong.

Just notice. What did you notice?

Okay,  next example:

What happens or changes when I say, WET DOG.

Think about it a moment. Did you see the same or different dog? What changed from when I first ask you to think of a dog. Notice whatever you notice.  Take your time don’t rush. Notice as much as you are able about this image or memory.

Next example:

Okay, what happens when I angrily shout loudly, BAD DOG!

What changed? Notice what you notice. Take your time to describe it.

What were you able to remember or see in each example.

For some people they see ‘A’dog at first. It might be a random dog or their favorite type of dog. It could be their dog.

Typically, the dogs become more personalized with the adjectives placed in front.  Most people see something different in each case. Most people remember personal instances with WET and BAD. It could be the same or different dog at the same or different times.

Some recall with very much detail. It doesn’t matter whether this occurred or not. Much of it depends on whether you like or dislike dogs or spent any amount of time around dogs. This is part of our ability to recall and remember.

Ways Of Seeing: Remembered And Constructed

We also have the ability to see or imagine that which never existed before. We can create. We have the ability to put things together in unique ways that they are not likely to exist as is. Either way we are able to construct. I am going to ask you to imagine along here too.

Dive in and enjoy the exercise. I will be putting together things you mostly know and could recognize, with some variation thrown in. You’ll see. Alright, are you ready? Read the description and then close your eyes and do it.

I’d like you to imagine, right now, a purple elephant flying over your head, in the sky, with a monkey on it’s back waving a yellow cowboy hat yelling,’Yipee, yipee!’ Can you do this? Great go ahead and continue to imagine the purple flying elephant with the monkey on its back over head.

Good. Most see this quite easily. Now see it again. Imagine the purple elephant swooping and flying and circling with the monkey on it’s back all over above you. Watch it do loops and see it’s flight path, notice the landscape.

NOW STOP thinking of purple elephant and monkey. Don’t think about the flying purple elephant and the monkey wearing the yellow hat. Put it out of your mind.

Got you! It is very difficult. Actually, it’s impossible to not think about something. Did you notice?

BUT if you begin to imagine green and orange striped pigs dancing up and down the hillsides, rolling around, having a blast, singing ‘Happy Birthday’  playfully tossing gold and silver stars and flowers about.

You will forget about the elephant and monkey.

The mind works this way. If you say don’t or do not or try not to think of something you will think about it. Why, because in order to not think about it you have to first know what you don’t want to think about.

Don’t Don’t Work

When you tell a child, ‘Don’t spill!’ In order for the child to understand what you mean the child must first remember what it means TO SPILL. It is likely, sometime after saying, ‘Don’t Spill’ we follow up with, ‘I told you not to spill’.

Our brains don’t handle negatives. We don’t or can’t or won’t. Instead we do or can or will. Keep that in mind whenever you try to stop yourself from thinking about something. You may not be very successful. WHAT YOU CAN DO is think of something else!!!

What You Resist Persists

You can’t oppose it and shut it off. It doesn’t work like that. You have to redirect your thinking. You have to distract it by thinking other thoughts. Yes, with annoying thoughts you may have to redirect over and over. Especially, at first but if you keep doing it you learn how to do it.

Whenever you dwell on unwanted thoughts or obsess about them they will take over your life. We can’t shut off negative thoughts but we can chose to think about something else. We think positive thoughts instead. I write about in this blog many times the need to learn to direct back toward center.

You can’t ‘not’ want to. You can’t shut them off easily but you can choose to redirect your thinking to other more productive and positive thoughts. If you choose to think positive thoughts your life will become much better. So much better you will be amazed!

I use the example, of how, when we drive down the center of a lane we actually make micro-corrections all along. We adjust the wheel left and right continuously to keep going straight.

Direct And Redirect Your Thoughts

This is what we do while we learn to gain control control of our thinking. We steer back to the positive thought again and again. Anything done repeatedly long enough becomes a habit. You will learn the habit of managing your thoughts with some effort.

It takes a little while and it gets easier and easier. You gain more control and then what used to bother you no longer does as much. In time you learn how to better handle it.

Eventually you get to the point where you can go on in spite of it or it no longer has any pull. Ultimately, you succeed. So stop resisting and start acquiring new positive habits that serve you reliably, as the old ones did, but that are much better for you.

It is amazing how powerful and well this works. Yes, it does require discipline and persistence. Anything  you currently think or do that bothers you that you would like to change is already a habit. It has been developed in the past and serves you reliably all along.

Develop New Positive Habits

Even if it is unwanted it is something you have learned to do. Might as well congratulate yourself on being a good learner because criticizing yourself is not likely to be effective. My guess, you have already been doing that to no avail. Time to change. Embrace it and then move on.

One more thing. Since it is not very effective to stop thinking about something. Don’t think of a flying purple elephant… Realize this. You just did what you didn’t want to do! You thought of a flying purple elephant with a monkey on its back…

Okay enough, enough! BUT do you get it? You can’t think of what you don’t want and not get it. Did you understand that? If you represent what you don’t want (don’t spill) you are likely to get precisely what you don’t want.

Some people, I was, are great at getting exactly what they don’t want. ‘I don’t want a smoker’, ‘I don’t want to be broke’ , ‘I don’t want to be fat’. Instead, and one of the many reasons I write this blog, you have to know exactly what you DO want. You must think and say what you want to include in your life not what you want to exclude.

Why You Must Focus On What You Want

This is why we focus on the positive. The brain works this way! It delivers to you whatever you imagine strongly enough. Whatever you think of accompanied by strong feelings and emotions the brain takes as a command to bring about. If you are primarily focused on what you don’t want that is precisely what you will end up with.

That or something worse. If you are primarily focused on what you DO want you will end up with that or something better as long as you continue to think this way.

This is why it is said, we become what we think about! Whatever we focus on expands. We bring about what we think about. So know what you want and stay focused on it. Steer back to  center whenever you have to. Am I getting through?

Think And Speak Only Of What You Want

Final point before, I leave for today. ALWAYS, only think and speak about what you want to create or have. Only think and speak about what you want to include in your life to yourself and others. Manage your self-talk and your talk.

Think only and say only that which you wish to become come true. Never confess that which you don’t want. Keep your focus aimed at what you want to bring about. Put a guard before your mind and lips.

Develop this as a habit and you will discover life is so much more amazing than you can imagine right now. You absolutely can manage and direct your thoughts, not only for relief, but for transformation.

You have no idea, none of us do, the immense, incredible power inside of you, which if you could discover and use would make you everything you ever dreamed of or imagined you could be.” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!!!

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Act As If, Affirmations, Attitude, Confidence, Decision, Directed Questions™, Habit Formation, Happiness, Intentional Thinking, Learning, Love, Mental Movie Theater, Positive Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Rehearsal And Practice, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Smiling, Success, Visualization

What Your Body Language Reveals About You? Others Can Tell!

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"Scarlett"From an article by Jim Stingl...."Sarah Platka is haunted by one particular sunrise, Aug. 17, 2011, and she is hoping someone around here photographed it."......... I did, I just never posted it, so here it is.She and her husband, Nate Weber, of South Milwaukee, had a baby that morning one year ago today, and the sunrise over Lake Michigan was so red and spectacular that it inspired the name they gave their daughter, Scarlett Lucia (Lucia means light in Italian).Ñ with Annette Kelley and Pat Landsel. Photo by Phil Koch

“Did you know people see the real you even if you attempt to hide it? At the very least they see someone attempting to hide. You do realize this, don’t you? It would be far better to live authentically, would it not? Wouldn’t it be great to live with less worry and fear?

What might it be like to move through the world more confidently? Can you imagine?  How wonderful would it be if you felt courageous most of the time? What if you were able to make things happen in positive ways? Wouldn’t that be grand?

You could be happier, healthier, wealthier and more successful. You can, you know. It is far simpler than most people believe. All you have to do is implement some easy things and keep doing them until they become habit. It is that simple.

My recent blog post was about living assertive and assured because it is important to have faith and be confident. I shared with you how you can use your mental movie theater, your imagination, to begin to become more positive and powerful. You use your mind to produce the wonderful feelings that are important to live from.

Use Your Mind And Your Words For Positive Change

You can and should use affirmations, Directed Questions™, or positive self-talk to move you forward. What you think and say to yourself is critical. It means the difference between being a success or failure, champion or loser. Think and speak only to bless, heal and prosper yourself and others. Be careful of your thoughts and words.

You will not be a success, or happy or a champion ragging and nagging on yourself all day long. The outer you will demonstrate to the world what goes on inside you. Everyone will see the way you think and feel by how you act and move.

You need positive, powerful, supportive, nurturing images, words and feelings to feel successful, happy and a champion. When your thoughts, words and feelings are aligned you are congruent.

You are most powerful and capable when congruent. It shows in your eyes and body. It is noticeable when you speak. It is evident how you sit, move and use your body. It is as if every atom of your being is charged with power. You and others will see and feel it.

There is a soft-spoken form of quiet self confidence one can recognize. This person is completely filled with presence. This person is completely present, in the here and now, and engaged.

How You Move And Speak Reflects Your Inner State Of Being

You can tell the person is congruent by the sound of their voice, the firmness and the look in the eye. Everything about this person communicates ‘I believe in and mean my message.’ or ‘I am who I say I am. I believe in myself.’

This person, when communicating with you, looks you straight in the eye, maybe looks right into your heart. You know it when you encounter it. They are right there with you totally here and now. They are alive yet completely calm. Relaxed yet vibrant!

The energy from them is strong and focused. There is no distraction. There is a steady, calm, confident assurance. If you have ever encountered a someone with immense personal power you will understand what I am speaking of.

The confident person’s posture is strong and tall. Shoulders are back, chin is out, eyes are forward. The confident person moves with purpose. Confident people tend to smile more. Why not? They know who they are and are proud and pleased. They smile because they feel good and feel like smiling.

This person speaks with authority or confidence. Nothing  about it is hostile or demanding. Their tone can be very pleasant but it commands you to listen. The person speaks so you can hear but not loud unless giving a speech. This person is assertive, and can be gentle and caring or passionate and persuasive.

You can easily tell this person believes in him or herself. You can tell how the person looks; the look in their eyes; on their face; how the person sits, moves, stands and behaves. You can tell by the volume, rate and tempo when they speak. You know by the quality of the voice and firmness. Everything points in one direction – confidence.

Mind And Body Affect Each Other – They Are One

Your mind affects your body. What you think shows up in how you approach the world. It shows up in your posture and how you sit, stand, move and act. It shows on your face because your thoughts and feelings are intimately wired neurologically.

If you think weak, tired thoughts you feel that way and act that way. People easily recognize when someone thinks self defeating thoughts, or is worried, fearful or sad. They show it. They behave it. Their defeated thinking and feeling  is reflected in everything they do. How do people see you? What are you demonstrating everyday?

People also easily recognize courageous, confident, successful, and happy people. They show it. They behave it! Their positive thinking and feeling is reflected in everything they do as well. Do people see you as someone happy and successful, confident and together, or not? How do people see you? What are you demonstrating?

We cannot easily hide what goes on inside us. Some do try, though, it is true. People try to mask their emotions which means others see the mask. They may not see the real you but they do notice the phony mask. This is no way to live. You are most attractive when you are genuinely you. Learn to live happily and with courage!

Since our mind and body are intimately wired we can use our thoughts to affect our body or our body to affect our thoughts. If we stand tall, and move with confidence and smile more we will feel more confident and brave. Do it! Keep doing it during the day!

Our primitive brains react to stimuli, real or perceived, by fight, freeze, or flight. If you allow your primitive brain to rule you your life will be ruled mostly by fear. It will not be within your control it will control you.  Many people live this way but this is no way to live.

In reality, there is little to fear in this day and age. Far fewer worries than when you had to avoid being devoured by a predator in the wild. That is what your primitive brain was useful for. Today, it is important to learn more appropriate ways to respond to life situations. You don’t have to react with fear or worry.

How You Use Your Body Affects You

Learn to stand tall and smile. Learn to walk, move, stand and speak with confidence and courage. Your body is intimately wired to your thoughts.  Use your posture purposefully. This is the way you can control and even neutralize the primitive brain. Smile, Smile, Smile!

Simply by using your body in this manner you can make very positive changes. You will think and feel better, You will be more confident. When you do some vigorous exercise shortly after dragging your butt from bed, complaining you are too tired, you become more alive and alert and feel better. You shake and wake things up!

How you utilize the mind affects the body. Think and affirm confident and courageous thoughts and you will stand, walk, move and speak more powerfully and assertively. Mind and body go hand in hand. Use both. Adjust your attitude and your body language!

You will be far more powerful and able to take advantage of possibilities and make things happen when you use your mind and body together productively. People will respond to you in positive ways when you exude a positive, friendly, fearless attitude.

This is why successful people look and sound and behave successfully. Their thoughts and feelings and body language are congruent. You are  much more powerful when your totality is aligned. Then you can relax and be completely you! No mask.

Power Comes From Aligning Your Thoughts Words And Body

When you are purposeful and deliberate, courageous and confident you become unstoppable because you know you will prevail no matter what. Every neuron, every cell, every fiber of your being works together to accomplish it. You are focused, determined and living purposefully. Others will see the real you!

You will discover your power can be unlimited. You will find you notice and take advantage of opportunities and circumstances you may otherwise have missed. You will attract other positive people to you. Overall your well-being, your health and life improve!

So do not put it off another day. Adjust your thinking and Aadjust your posture. OR adjust your posture and adjust your thinking. Work on both. Use the tools, the methods, the approaches I have shared with you in these blog pages. Continue to read. Go back and read through the other pages too. Re-read again and again.

You will discover so many positive benefits when you act on the information shared here. If you will just put it into practice you will transform your life incredibly. If you wait and debate you will remain the same. For you to change yourself and your life, if you want to, you must decide to act. It is simple and it is completely up to you!” Rex Sikes

Have a passionate play day!!!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS  

*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Act As If, Affirmations, Confidence, Creating The Future, Definite Chief Purpose, Directed Questions™, Faith, Focus, Habit Formation, Happiness, Intentional Thinking, Mental Movie Theater, Personal Development, Positive Affirmations, Rehearsal And Practice, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Success, Visualization

One Quality You Must Have To Be Happy & Succeed!

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horizon lake sunrise

“Do wishy washy people appeal to you? Isn’t it frustrating when a person is overly timid and will not say what the person wants? It is equally unattractive when someone is aggressive, isn’t it.  We don’t want to be around pushy, rude or threatening people either.

There are many desirable qualities to have in order to be happy and for success. One quality definitely required is assertiveness. An assertive person is neither aggressive nor passive.

Assert What You Want

Assertive is defined as confident or self confident, decisive, assured or self assured, forthright, firm, and emphatic. It means you are NOT aggressive or pushy or demanding. It means you are not cowering, afraid or too timid. It means you know what you want and can say so.

The word assured means reliable, dependable, certain, sure and secure. These qualities are ones you may need more of and that you can learn to acquire.  It is a great thing to be dependable!

When you are assertive it means you’re able to state your needs and desires confidently, in a straight forward manner, without apology. It means you are able to affirm what you want without being intimidating or threatening. You simply are confident, decisive, assured and forthright.

Be Confident And Assured You Will Make It Happen

You must be assertive to reach your goals.You must be assertive to achieve your definite chief aim or purpose. You must be assertive when it comes to making your life the way you want it to be. You cannot be wishy washy, and aggression will work against you. You must be firm, steadfast, committed and assured.

You need to know what you want. You must specify it and clarify it in your mind. You need to assert that you will get it. You believe it, you are confident and have faith you will accomplish it. You are reliable and dependable and secure in bringing it about. You think and speak what you want in positive terms and affirm this.

Affirm means to state as a fact, declare, assert, swear, vow, guarantee and pledge. It means you commit to making your goals and dreams come true and are willing to commit to it publicly. You don’t have to publicly announce your goals that isn’t the point.

Affirm It In Your Thoughts Words And Actions

It is probably wiser if you don’t. You don’t need naysayers or detractors or added pressure from peers or family. Just quietly but confidently go about creating what you want. Surprise everyone.

When you assert yourself you act with power. You are congruent in mind and body. You are at one with your purpose. You are totally aligned with what you want and your conviction that you will get it. You do not allow circumstances or others to intimidate or threaten you. You know you will see it through. Success is guaranteed!

So how do you become more assertive? The same way you become more of anything. You practice and you rehearse. You put it into motion and become it. You make being assertive a habit. That’s how you are currently the person you are. Only you did it without knowing you were doing it at the time. Now you do it with awareness and purpose!

You Are Already Who You Imagine Yourself To Be

First you become it in your mind. You imagine it in your mental movie theater. You see yourself acting assertively in situations. You imagine you already have it. If it is at first difficult to imagine yourself behaving differently look for positive role models who embody what you want.

That person could be someone you know who exemplifies it or it could be someone famous. Simply notice how they act and behave assertively and imagine you doing the same. Learn from their positive example. Leave out any personal characteristics that are not you. For example, they speak with an accent and you don’t. So don’t do it.

Use the inner theater daily, 5, 10, 20 minutes at a time, the more often and more time you can spend, at first, the more efficient you will become at doing this. Time can then be reduced. More importantly, do enough to be effective and not so much you quit. Make the time you spend manageable and enjoyable.

See yourself as an assertive person. Live your life knowing what you want, speaking it, without intimidating, but confidently, assured and positive. Notice how you look and sound. Notice how it feels to imagine this and enjoy the good feelings. Affirm this.

Make Affirmations Part Of Your Daily Thoughts And Activities

State positively that ‘I know what I want’, ‘I get what I want’, ‘I can always find a way to make it happen’ and other positive declarations. You can also phrase these as ‘You know what you want. You can make it happen.’ You can also put your own name in place of ‘I’ or ‘You’. All three are worthwhile to do.

Ask Directed Questions™ such as, ‘I wonder how delighted I will be to discover myself feeling more confident throughout each day? How much fun will it be to be more assertive in daily activities? How quickly and easily will I begin to notice, more and more each day, that I feel assured and positive that I will make my dreams come true?’

The key here is to ask open ended questions that direct your mind to what you want to have more of in your life. You want to be assertive, yes, and delighted, and notice changes, and have it easily and more quickly. So you direct your mind through positive questions.

The use of questions and affirmations help you to visualize. The point of visualizing is to create the feelings of what it feels like to already be what you want to be and have what you want to have. Together, these are a prime directive your subconscious mind gets.

Instruct Your Subconscious Mind As To What You Want

You live it first in your mind, feeling it and as you do you become it more and more in your behaviors. From within to without. Imagine it and you can become it. We become what we think about most during each day. What we think about we bring about!

Discover opportunities to clarify what you want and state it. There are numerous times throughout the day you can assert yourself. Remember to speak only in ways that bless, heal and prosper yourself and others. (See my previous posts about this). For example, act more assertive when you are ordering coffee.

Tell the individual taking your order firmly and politely what you want. Thank them. Don’t ask if you can have one, of course you can. You are paying for it. Be nice and state what you want. Practice this. Be sure to say thank you and smile. A smile shows you are friendly and you are confident.

You do the same with your goals in your mental movie theater. You first decide what you want. Stated in positive terms. Avoid stating what you don’t want. You may use what you don’t want to guide you into clarifying what you do want. Imagine yourself already in possession of it. Feel all the wonderful feelings. Savor them!

Imagine You Already Are The Person You Want To Become

Repeat daily and often throughout the day. Soon you will discover it becomes easier and easier and your behavior conforms to the image you have in your mind. Guess what, your behavior already has conformed to whatever image you have had in your life. If you don’t like the results change that inner image into a more positive and better one.

Who you are on the inside is who you are on the outside. If you want your life to change you will have to change things in your life. You must start with your own self image. You must start by evolving and updating you. You can be happier, you will have more personal and professional success as you imagine a happier and more successful you.

Make this a habit and you will be more readily able to change other habits along the way. You will become confident and secure in getting your goals. You WILL make them happen because YOU can make them happen. You will live knowing that you have the power within you to create the kind of life you want for yourself and love ones.” Rex Sikes

Have a thrilling day!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Act As If, Creating The Future, Definite Chief Purpose, Focus, Intentional Thinking, Mental Movie Theater, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Rehearsal And Practice, Self Improvement, Visualization

Learn The Secret Successful People Know That You Don’t

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whatever you do do well

“Successful people are able to get the results they desire or better. Other people get whatever they get. They accept their lot in life and hope for the best. Why do the successful people get further than you are able to? What do successful people know and do that you don’t?

Successful people know you have to have a main overriding purpose. You must not only have this purpose but it it must be crystal clear. It must be something you feel passionate about and strongly intend to make happen. Those who succeed are driven to succeed.

The reason others don’t get great results is because they do not know what they want. They aren’t working toward any bigger purpose. They are busy managing the day to day business of life.

They have accepted that one is supposed to get a job, work hard, save for retirement and do the best one can. They do this and live day to day, pay check to pay check. Whatever they end up with is what they get and they make the best of it. Hopefully.

Know What You Want

In order to create the results you want you first have to know exactly what you want. Successful people know where they want to end up before they begin. The destination or the end results is what motivates and drives them to get it. They don’t let the future happen to them. They target their choice.

Write down in detail what you want. Add deadline, a date when you want it by. Be realistic. Be specific. If you don’t know precisely what you want take time to think about it. When you write, whether you are aware of it or not, you use mental movies and images, sounds and feelings.

Write it down and make it as precise and vivid as you are able. This helps you clarify the imagery further. When you write down your purpose you determine where you want to end up and by when. It should excite you. You should feel passionate about it. Eager to make it happen.

Be Passionate About It

If it doesn’t excite you it isn’t what you should be working on. Find whatever it is you are most passionate about, what you must have, that you always wanted, and work on that. The result you go after is the one you absolutely feel you must be, do or have.

Picture it in your mind and see everything you want. See it in detail, make it full, vibrant, real in your mind. Make it an inner movie of how the future IS different, how it is better, how it is wonderful. See the positive future you. Look at yourself in detail and do you like what you see?

Create the future you, in your mind, precisely as you want to be. This Become that person already in your mind with all the positive attributes and characteristics.  imagine yourself as the successful, confident, loving, life affirming, kind, gentle, helpful, healthy, wealthy person you can become if you are not already.

See, Hear, Feel It Vividly And Completely

If this were a fantasy and you could have it any way then imagine it. Keep it real though. Leave out magical flying and abilities and super powers. Set deadlines in the future that are realistic. It has been said there are no unrealistic goals only unrealistic time frames. You ain’t going to be a billionaire next week most likely.

Imagine the definite chief purpose, or your major aim in life, your major dream and your biggest goal as if you have already made it come true. Imagine your life as you want it to be. Script it. Make it as rich and full and as wonderful as you are able to.

See and hear and feel that future completely . See yourself as already the person you want to be.  Notice how you look and how you feel and sound as you move and interact. Watch yourself behave as that person would.

Be Realistic

Watch yourself do everything that future you does. Look at all you have all made happen. Feel how wonderful it feels. Genuinely feel it. This future is the culmination of your positive thoughts and efforts. In this visualization you have made it all happen. You enjoy the results and rewards. This is the end result of your hard work. This future is your prize!

Run these movies in your head of THAT future you, when everything already is realized, and you are enjoying it. As you watch the movie feel incredible. Keep making it better. Adjust it as needed. It is your movie make it what you want. You are the writer, the producer, the director and the star. Make it what you want it to be!

Visualize this as often as you can each day. Spend some time morning and night. Begin today. As with all exercise and ability we get better with practice. Do the best you are able to. You may surprise yourself with how easy it is.

Live It In Your Mind As If You Already Have It

If it is not so easy at first, it will become easier as you continue to do this. Regardless, of how well or poorly you do this at first, you are already doing some version of this in your head most of the time.

Whatever you are getting or have gotten in life, your circumstances, are already the results of what you are already doing with or without awareness. If you want to get better results you have to be deliberate about making things better. This is what I call Intentional Thinking.

You begin to create and get what you intend to instead of accepting whatever happens. You stop inadvertently creating what you don’t want and begin to get what you do want. You begin to get what you want because you clarified it in your mind and you continue to focus on it frequently during the day. What we think about we become!

Enjoy The Best Feelings You Can As Often As You Can

You can begin to get the wonderful life you want and deserve. Determine how much time each day you spend thinking about what you want versus being distracted, taking care of ‘business’, or focused on what you don’t want.

See your major dreams. Live them in your head. Feel the marvelous feelings fully. Enjoy feeling these feelings as much of the time as you are able. The wonderful feelings you have drive the show. These feelings make your mental movies work. Enjoy and enhance the positive feelings! You get back more of what you put out!

Read what you wrote down at least twice a day. Hang out in your Mental Movie Theater as often as you can. Spend enough time each day deliberately using your imagination to create what you want. You need to spend more time thinking about it and feeling good about it than not doing it. Close your eyes, relax and visualize” Rex Sikes

NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     

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Have a delightful  day!!!

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Don’t Blow Your Top! Do This Instead!

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the choice to have a great attitude

“If you have ever felt like you were going to blow your top and you don’t want to you can do this to calm down. Getting angry or getting angrier may not be what is most needed in the moment and you want to be able to be productive and not lose control. How do you get a grip?

When unwanted feelings arise you need to shift into neutral, create a break state, a pause and then shift direction. It is too difficult sometimes to just change. You can steer it as in Aikido. You use the energy offered and direct it elsewhere. That is what we are doing.

You Can Easily Make Changes When You  Know How

Head on is too difficult. I have discussed why in previous blog posts. When the momentum is great it is hard to just stop it. You will need to do something first if you haven’t stopped it at the onset. That something you need to add in is the neutral, break state.

A neutral space makes making changes easier because you create a pause when you are being flooded with feelings. The key is to catch the emotional flooding right at the beginning.

This is  important. So whenever practice becoming aware at that very moment. Still, this is so powerful you can use it anytime too.

This blog is continued from previous blogs. If you have not yet read those or done the exercises please go read those first. Spend some time developing your skills through mental rehearsal and then return to this one.

Use mental rehearsal to learn what to do when unwanted feelings arise. For example, when you drive a car you know there is a neutral position on your gear shift. In essence, you always go through neutral when you shift gears and change direction.

This exercise will have you create an important neutral space from which you can more easily and readily change. You can use it any time, anywhere, whenever you feel stressed or want to change feelings or thought direction in your mind.

Rehearse And Practice The Skill To Acquire The Skill 

It is powerful and can be instantaneous. There may be times when you want to repeat it. It is simple and easy and all you have to do is remember to use it.

That is why we mentally rehearse. You travel in advance of the world so as things come up when you want to use it you will. This is the reason actors, musicians and others rehearse and athletic teams practice.

One of the most powerful tools to use when you need to change your emotional reactions so you can respond more wisely and productively is only a breath away. It is literally taking a deep breath.

A deep breath shifts so many things in your being. It changes the energy moving in your body. If you let out a sigh while breathing it is all the better. That sigh of relief, the sound accompanying  the breath, enhances relaxation.

When things are getting hot and you find yourself moving in a direction you do want engage the following.

First learn it and practice it. Then use it when every you need to. Do it in everyday life as soon as possible. It will help greatly.

You Want To Create A Space, A Pause – Take A Break

Go back to another difficult time. Mild. See the events unfold. The usual sequence of events that lead up to that point where you would have gotten angry, frustrated, fearful, worried, sad, confused, overwhelmed whatever it may be.

Watch it in your mind in your mental movie theater and when you get to that point where you would lose it STOP and watch yourself take a deep breath! Then another.

Watch yourself create space by stopping and taking a deep breath. Watch yourself shift your physiology. Shift your body, alter how you stand and move. Breathe and shift. Walk it off! Take a break from your problem.

Take a pause when things start to get critical. Everything is moving along and then suddenly you are going in a direction you don’t want. STOP, take a deep breath, shift your body, walk or do something different AND CHOOSE A POSITIVE RESOURCE.

Go through this process just as described and you watch yourself get to the point where you, would have in the past behaved in less than glorious ways only this time, see yourself stop, take a deep breath, shift your physiology and behave in the new resourceful way. From start to finish. Do you like what you see?

Adjust It As Necessary

Stop and take a deep breath and add in the new resource. Realize you have new choices available to you. You you can  walk it off right where you are. Manage you self talk. Say positive things.  Now you can respond with positive choices. Watch it to the end and then when it finishes shake it off (literally shake yourself a bit).

Once you have recoded one experience from your past then pick at least 3 more times when you have similar response. Change those in your mind. Shake it off after each repetition of the exercise. Let’s say you do one situation 3x you shake off after each time. Then you pick another time and do it 3x with shake 3x and then the last 3x 3x.

Remember to use the shake to change your physiology and end the process. Then take a moment and go back do it again.

Seeing And Hearing And Feeling On The Inside (POV)

Use the other way of seeing and experiencing.

Rerun the process from your POV. Go back and imagine it from this vantage point. From within you can feel the feelings change as you go from the beginning to the critical moment.

Just before that less than glorious eruption you say stop (inside your head) and you feel yourself take a deep breath (and another). You sigh as you let the air out.

Feel the pause or a break in the action, create space, walk it off, manage your positive self talk  and choose the resource you have been using for this.

See it, hear it, feel it! Notice how it is different. Feel the changes. Celebrate it and Live it. Then realize that is how it can be in the future. Do it again and again until you feel great about it

Then pick 3 more times when you have similar response. Change those in your mind. Remember, to shake it off after each time.

Maybe once is all you need but since we become what we think about repeat this exercise again and again. Do it daily. Remember you are learning a sequence of behaviors. You are taking charge of your mental behaviors and learning a process.

Take time to go into your past and find resources. Build your library of resources. Go  into your past difficulties and change them from being a limitation into a resource. Recode the past by applying a resource where and when it was needed. You are transforming and recoding past memories.

Do you realize this about the situation you changed? That was how it was in the past. It could have been different in the past. It wasn’t you did whatever you did  back then and that is okay. That was then and you did your best with what you knew.

It could have been a more resourceful time for you but it wasn’t. Accept it. BUT now you have just recoded it as more resourceful. You have imagined what it would have been like to have had that resource and how things could have been different.

SO stop now and  realize you can be more resourceful in the present and the future too. You have more resources you can use when you need to.

Create The Future The Way You Want It To Be

You also are a creator. You can create. You know there may be some situations in the future that could give you difficulty because they may have in the past. These are those situations that seem to happen again and again ever so often. To begin practice pick a mild one of these. Always start with mild. Now let’s recode the future too!

Imagine, in your mental movie theater that future you. Repeat the process watching it unfold up until the point where you stop, take a deep breath and change it from being a difficulty into a resourceful moment. You repeat this exercise as the previous one  doing it from start to finish and shaking it off.  Repeat 3x or more. Shake it off after each time.  Then repeat the process  from your POV.

Do this whenever you need to get some space between you and whatever is going on. Perhaps, some driver pisses you off, change it. Take a deep breath, relax slow down, enjoy the drive. Practice this it could be really important some day.

A boss or co-worker is on your back, take a deep breath, sigh and change the energy. Take a break, go to the restroom, calm down and return. Trouble with a family member or loved one. Don’t lose your cool take a breath. Anytime and anywhere this can save the moment Use it.

Re- Cap

This process allows you to recode the past and prepare for the future. During both you search for and apply resources. During both you stop, create a break state or a pause, you use your physiology differently, and you continue forward having chosen a resource.

You are always welcome to add in more than one resource. One is usually plenty, but sometimes adding in two or three presents us with even more awareness and opportunity. So feel free to repeat the exercise (just as described) only with a new and different resource each time.

You may also magnify those feeling 2, or 3 or even 5 times in intensity. It is your mind and you can ramp it up. You already know how to make things more intense in real life. We have volume controls and dials.

You turn it up or press a button. You can do the same thing within your mental movie theater. Re-live it from your point of view  and enhance and amplify the wonderful feelings! You know when you have had some energy and when you have been super charged. Pick the more intense examples to use.

Use It And Transform Your LIfe

In the real world you will behave and act more productively as this a becomes habit. Take the time to practice and make it automatic. In the coming days if you have an episode and you respond in the new way, positively, fantastic!

If you don’t and you loose control, no worries!  Everyone of us can slip and fall now and then. Pat yourself on the back for becoming aware. Recognize what happened, what you might have done differently, and immediately do the mental exercise for how you’d like to be next time.

Get feedback from the situation, learn from it and continue your practice. What is awesome about the human mind is that you might start off spending 20 or 30 minutes a day, practicing for a month or more to make it a habit.

During this time frame you may be using it too. I hope so! Eventually, you will be do it in less time inside your head. Then even less time. Before long you will run the process in seconds in real life whenever you need to.

Regarding learning and practicing new skills. A flower it takes time to grow. So does a new skill. Stick with it. As you resolve these situations pick other people or situations where you don’t respond as you would like to and work on those too.

Use It Or Lose It

Soon you will have re-coded and re-routed lots of difficult situations. You will have used your mind to change your behaviors. You have taken charge so enjoy it! Celebrate it and validate it.

Any time you fall, get back up, learn from it and do the new behavior in your mind a more productive way. Recognize what you don’t want but stop focusing on it. Drop it and focus on what you do want instead. Remember, we get what we think about most!

Don’t wallow about  the old address. You have moved to a new location. Aim your mind in the direction of the new one.

It’s simple to understand, You practice and rehearse what you want for the future. You use your mind the way an actor or athletic team uses rehearsal or practice time. In your mind you act as if you have all the resources you need in any situation. You imagine and act how you want to be.

Our mind doesn’t know the difference between a mental images and images seen through our eyes. That is why this works. We can create a new self image and practice new behaviors. The more you rehearse and practice the better you get.  The better you get with it the more you get it in your real life

Use these processes to overcome your difficulties, and learn new ways to be. You can and will transform your life positively if you want to.

What you rehearse, fill your mind with, think about and focus on for most of your time expands. You get and become what you think about. Use your mental movie theater to bring you all sorts of wonderfulness now and in the future! Enjoy making your life more the way you want it to be.  Be grateful and be glad! More to come!” Rex Sikes

Use today to live a new way!

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Use This Powerful Way To Keep From Losing It

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movie-theatre

“Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to change a moment of difficulty into a less difficult moment? If you could take a stressful situation and de-stress it would you like to be able to do that? There are ways to alter what is happening so that the outcome you get is positive instead of negative.

In this follow up blog post I’ll share with you a method. If you haven’t read the previous blog post go back and read that first. IF YOU HAVEN’T practiced what I shared with you last time spend some time doing that prior to adding in these steps. You want to build a house on a strong foundation so that it stands.

You want to build your abilities the same way. Before, anything else get used to looking for positive past experiences and re-living them. Hopefully, you have started building a library of positive resources. You have also practiced creating the future by imagining that resourceful you in times when you want to be more resourceful.

If you are a regular reader of my blog you know only a day has gone by.  Keep in mind there is no rush. Practice the first part until you are facile with it. Then you can add this in. This information you read now can wait while you gain experience in the other first, but you will know the direction we are headed.

As I mentioned in the previous blog, read through this a number of times to familiarize yourself with the process. Once you get the idea of it  you can do it while reading through it, or better, as I suggested you can record parts of the process and play them back slowly while you go though it. You will lead yourself through it so be sure to give yourself enough time to do everything thoroughly if you record it.

Build Skills Bit By Bit. Only Move From One Skill On After Getting Good At It

Practice what I share with you in this blog. You can do it easily in the privacy of your own home. In a short while you will notice yourself responding even more productively and positively and your life changing for the better.

Continue to make the positive changes utilizing your Inner Mental Movie Theater. Are you ready and eager to learn more? I’m going to give you some today and then more in subsequent blogs.

Determine How You’d Like To Be And Feel And Behave (Respond) In Difficult Or Less Than Glorious Situations

AT FIRST, pick a mild situation to begin. You can get to the tougher ones later. Start with easier ones while you learn the to go through this process. I mean this! Work your way up from easiest to the toughest in time. Over a period of days or weeks. Get good at the process before trying it on tougher times. Crawl before you walk!

Pick A Mild Situation To Begin With

There are times when you are simply less than glorious. Sometimes you aren’t thinking positively, you’re feeling down or upset, just not optimal.

Choose one to work with. Just one experience at a time. Be specific. Think, ‘I have difficulty when…’  and pick one. It may be in a particular situation, or with a particular person or there is some activity that gives you difficulty.

Find a time and or place where you could use a resource. Said differently, find a time in real life when you could use thinking and behaving more resourcefully.

There are moments in life when things can go any which way but instead of going how we want them to go they end up less than glorious. We loose our cool, we get frustrated or angry, we give in or give up, we cry, we shout, we say things we didn’t mean.

Instead of keeping our cool and being calm or confident we get stressed, harried, fearful or worried.

You most probably have had moments like that in the past. Pick a specific one. Chose a milder one to begin with, remember. Choose an easy one! I mean this! Crawl before you walk! Keep this in mind.

Then go back to my statement above, determine how you’d like to be and feel and behave in this situation instead of how you did in the situation. Consider what would be a more productive, positive way to behave instead of how you used to behave.

Any Resource Is Better Than No Resource

You can pick a specific resource for the situation because you think it would be better. For example, you weren’t confident and you wished you had confidence. That can make it better, yes.

That could be a good resource to have in that situation. Perhaps. A sense of humor might be a good resource to have as well.  Perhaps, having the ability to laugh or be silly at that moment would have made it better. Anything is possible. Any resources can transform.

Maybe being patience, or happy or calm or curious would have been better. Curiosity, can be a great resource! The point is there is the resource we THINK would make it better when, in fact, almost any resource would have made it better. This is what is so cool!

It would not have been the difficulty it was and you would have gotten a different outcome if you’d had any number of resources available. Do you get that? There are numerous possibilities! The only limitations we have are the ones we allow. We are really only limited by what we can’t yet consider an asset or opportunity.

Had you moved into ANY other positive state than the less than glorious one you ended up with, it would led to a different outcome. Right? You understand that, don’t you?  If not think about it a bit. However the situation played out, any positive resource would have made it different and somewhat better. Maybe completely better!

If it is somewhat better, that is better! So any positive new resource is better than no resource. It is NOT a matter of trying to find the ultimate, perfect resource it is a matter of choosing any resource that will lead you to a more productive outcome and get you more positive results. Do you understand this? Again, if not think about it.

Find A Positive Resource 

Be free with your thinking in choosing new opportunities. Don’t be rigid, be relaxed. Open yourself up to infinite possibilities. You are still only going to choose one, or in time, a few, but you have a wide variety to choose from that will make a difference for you. At first, choose ONE to work with.

Learn and practice being more resourceful in a variety of ways. There isn’t a perfect way. There is not only one way. There are a variety of positive possibilities and you can learn and benefit from. Any one of them can lead to more glorious possibilities.

If you want to feel better you want to get feedback on how you can continue to transform your experiences for your benefit. So stay open minded and be willing to playfully explore.

Keep Light And Have Fun With This

Take it slowly and have fun. Be gentle and have fun. Be deliberate and thorough and have fun. Choose mild difficulties at first and have fun. Later move on to more difficult situations and have fun.

When you have learned and practiced and gotten good with the process you move onto larger issues in time. You still have fun because that is what you build into the process. Take it lightly even when dealing with more difficult issues.

There are those times that present us with difficulty. We didn’t behave as we knew we could, or wished we would. We want to take those less than glorious moments and transform them by adding in resources we didn’t utilize or were aware we had at the time.

We want to re-code our memories of the past to be more resourceful so we can choose to use them as resources in the present and  future. That is why we spend time building and continuing to build our library of resourcefulness.

A Most Important Benefit Is You Become What You Think About

The reason why I want you to go and find all your positive times and relive those and catalog those and have experience recreating those is for you to have them available as choices whenever you may need to.

If you spend a large portion of your time devoted to finding resources and living them and creating them it makes you more resourceful. Your life will change for the better.

Utilize Any Of These Resources When Times Get Tough

A second benefit is you can utilize any of these resources more readily when times get rough if you have wired them in and made them automatic and available. What you think about you become. When you become more resourceful you can handle future difficult times better. Do you get how this works? It builds on itself.

There are times when everything goes your way. Maybe you feel on top of the world, or extra joyful. These are resources!

You got some news and you feel very happy. There are times when you simply feel fine, but more than fine. Super fine. YOU feel GOOD but not like a superhero. There are times when you feel confident, capable, certain you can do anything. Other times you feel silly or you have a sense of humor.

Still, at other times you feel relaxed, calm, peaceful or at ease. Sometimes you are concentrated and focused, sometimes playful. At times you are focused on your needs at other times you are attentive and helpful to others. All these constitute useful resources.

Re-live It: Feel Now What You Felt Then

Go back inside your mental movie theater and re-live some of these one at a time. Notice  what you saw at the time, what you heard and felt that made you feel that way.

Get a sense of it as much as possible ! You can even imagine feeling it at 2, or 3 or even 5 times the intensity. You can ramp it up. Re-live it from your point of view.

Build them one by one by revisiting these memories again and again.

Watch It: Feel How Good It Feels To Be This Way (Selfie)

Imagine the other way too. See yourself in the situation (selfie) looking the way you do when you are resourceful in this fashion. How do you look, how do you use your body and move.  What does your voice sound like. You can see that you (in the movie) feels great.

Feel how incredible you would feel to be this way. If everything for your future you was going right, and you were everything you wanted to be, doing what you wanted to be doing and having what you wanted to have. How would you feel? Feel that!

Enjoy these. Do this each day. Build a library of incredible feelings, talents, abilities, and resources. Let’s call them resources states.

Practice each day. Realize that whenever you remember these positive times you can feel the wonderful feelings again and again even stronger if you’d like. Strong or not isn’t the point. The point is taking time to live and feel these resources.

You Can Access or Build Past, Present And Future Resources

In order to change your response in the future you want to have one or more of these resources available when you need it. You are going to use your mental movie theater to imagine when and where and with whom you may need one or more of them.

Pay attention to what and how you behave and feel differently when you add the new resources in. First we will change the past.

Go to your mental movie theater and take up a comfortable seat. Watch this experience on your movie screen in your mind.

You are sitting in a movie theater and the screen is over there. The movie begins and you watch yourself go through the experience over there UP UNTIL the point, but not beyond, when it became a difficult situation.

You Are The Director And Editor Of Your Inner Movies

You chose a mild one because you want to be able to STOP IT from being a difficulty. You want to change the difficult moment so it no longer affects you. You want to be free so you want to stop it easily from being  an issue. You are going to work as a movie editor.

Watch yourself over there on your mental movie screen in a situation leading to a less than glorious outcome. One you actually experienced in your real life past. Watch it up to, but not beyond, when it started going awry. STOP IT prior to when you behaved as you DO NOT WANT to. As it approaches slow it down and stop it.

Cut the film right there! Edit! You snip away the less than glorious reactions you had. As an editor you would throw them in a bin on the computer or let them drop on the cutting room floor. Then insert the new resourceful behavior. Paste it in at the precise point.

Paste it in so that from the critical point on you now watch yourself behaving in the situation the way you WANT TO behave. Watch the movie continue. Look at yourself, listen and notice how you feel differently.

Now you run it again from start to finish making sure you behave as you want to until the end. It begins, you watch.  Watch the situation begin to turn sour but instead of succumbing to what was used to be YOU NOW think, feel and behave in the new positive way? Watch it again and again over and over. Re-live it and love it!

Notice how you look, what you sound like, what and how you say things to yourself in your head, under your breath or out loud. Notice how you move. Imagine it with as much detail as possible.

Adjust As Necessary

Do you like what you see? Do you like how you feel watching this new you? If it isn’t as good as you’d like it improve it. Add in another resource. Change it in positive direction until it is too your liking. Keep it realistic as you do. Intensify the positive feelings.

Adjust it. You want to behave more positively in the future make your inner mental movie a compelling example of you behaving that way. Tweak it. See how wonderful you look. Notice how you positively interact. Listen to the kind things you say to yourself (or others).

When it is how you like it – spend time reviewing it this way. Notice how it is different and more positive. Then realize that is how it can be in the future.

Whenever you watch your inner movie in this way you want to end it completely before you do it over again. So watch it to the end and then when it finishes shake it off (literally shake yourself a bit) or get up, move around, do a jumping jack. Anything that creates a shift.

Go inside and change a few other mildly difficult times this way. Pick 3, 6, 10 however many you wish. Practice recoding them. Review them with the new behaviors and how do you feel? Are you moving in the direction you want to move in? Is feeling good? Feeling great?

You are building and practicing a skill. If you keep at it you will build the habit of looking for resources whenever you encounter the trigger points in less than glorious situations. This is an incredible skill to have. So you want to practice a lot. Don’t believe me build it for yourself!

There is more to this process and we will add on to it. It gives you another powerful alternative way to accomplish the same end. It is a useful approach for you to learn. Practice and practice. You will be amazed at how easily you can make changes. More Next Time!” Rex Sikes

Have a majestic day!

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How To Keep Yourself From Losing It & Have A Happier Life

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“Do you have any of those moments when you know you are about to lose it? You may blow your top or crumple in a heap of tears. Are there times when you realize you are worrying unnecessarily but haven’t been able to control it? Perhaps, you are stressed and overwhelmed or you got hooked into an argument and you would rather be free?

If yes, to any of these unwanted feelings, or other ones you may experience from time to time, there IS something you can do to make it different. You can make it better and even prevent it. Wouldn’t you like to know what you can do?

You can learn to be different if you will practice what I share with you in this blog.

You can do it easily in the privacy of your own home. In a short while you will notice yourself responding more productively and positively and your life changing for the better.

Sometimes, the best way to learn new methods is in seminars or workshops, or one on one, with a coach or a guide where you can practice the process in advance of needing it. Working together with someone is real hands on. That is always well worth it. By having a qualified person assist you – you can learn nuances and pay attention to elements you might otherwise miss. A great coach is great to have!

In lieu of getting training you can still make the positive changes on your own inside your Inner Mental Movie Theater. Are you ready and eager to learn how? I’m going to give you some today and then more in subsequent blogs.

Today Is The Beginning Of A Process I Share With You

Once you have all the process you may want to record it so you can follow along. Today, smart phones can come in handy this way. Read through these instructions a couple of times at least. There will be more information to record another day.

Familiarize yourself with the process. Then actually do what is being asked of you. If you only read about it and do not apply it you will not experience the benefit from it. If you don’t attempt it you will never know how powerful it can be. You have to do the work to get the results you want.

First: Determine How You’d Like To Be And Feel And Behave (Respond) In Difficult Or Less Than Glorious Situations

What do you want to be like instead of doing what you do? You might want to be confident, strong, fearless, happy, loving, silly, playful, energetic, caring, calm, relaxed, thoughtful, patient, anything that is positive for you.

There are times in your past when you have felt good this way. You can recall them, remember them in your mind, and remember the feelings. For example, when you felt happy about something. Notice the feelings, where did you feel them the strongest? Aren’t they wonderful? You feel happy!

Enjoy the feelings of when you feel happy! What are you thinking? What are you saying to yourself when you are happy? How do you think about yourself in that moment? Isn’t it wonderful to feel good? How does the world look when you are happy? Maybe a bit brighter? Notice whatever you notice when feeling happy. Linger with it. Savor it. Enjoy feeling happy.

Really take time to relive the happy part of the experience. Notice and enjoy the sights, the sounds, the feelings (even taste or smells if there are any) while feeling this resourcefulness. End it or cut it off while still feeling happy. Don’t let it fizzle out.

You want your primary attention and time spent feeling the good feelings, and letting or making the good feelings intensifying during the memory. If they start to fade or diminsh cut it off, stop it, shake it off (literally shake yourself a bit) and end it. Take a few breaths and do it again. Learn to create poignant positive moments for yourself. Bookended!

It is:  Feel happy, It increases, And out!

If you were to imagine a bell curve close to the top of the bell say at 9 or 10 o’clock position would be the entry point. You feel happy. It increases or intensifies upward towards 12. Then it starts down the other side of the bell curve. Do you get it? You come in feeling happy, intensify it and exit,

Stop before it starts the downslide. This is how you teach your brain to give you what you want. You want to feel good and feel it increase.  Linger in the good feelings and when the feelings  begin to diminish exit. Wash, rinse repeat! Do it again!

Develop The Knack Of Re-living And Creating The Precise Moments You Want More Of

What is so amazing is you can use your mind to travel back to times, and places, and events and with people, or engaged in activities when and where you felt these positive feeling states. You can recall and re-live them all while sitting in your chair!

Just as when you are out somewhere and something triggers or jogs a memory in you and you enjoy revisiting it. You can deliberately do it. You summon it up. You go back and recall.

Think about, recall a time when or remember a specific place you felt happy. Maybe some activity you do makes you happy or a special person? Fox example, pick a specific instance of being with a person who you were happy with? What were you doing that made you feel happy? It could be anything, such as a sport, a conversation, seeing something happen, getting good news, being at a party. How the person looks at, speaks to or touches you. Anything!

People, Places, Activities, Time, or Things 

To help you remember you can think of people, places, activities, things, or a time when you felt these feelings. For example, think of some activity that makes you feel good. Consider,  what were you doing, who were you with, where were you?

Ask whatever questions you need to in order to recall more details from the positive memory. These questions can help make it more vivid. Ask, who, what, when, where, why and how did any of these make you feel?

Once you make this a habit you won’t have to consciously work so much. It will all come quite naturally. Search through your experiences and find them. Maybe you felt happy on a vacation. That particular place brings back happy memories. Or at home.

Any particular place, a quiet power spot no one knows about but you. Young or old. Memories from the past can be yesterday or go way, way back.

For some the smell of fresh baked bread will take them instantly to another comforting place and time. For others the smell of fresh cut grass does the same. Some people feel patriotic when they see symbols of their country. Music makes us feel many things, relaxed, loved, horny, powerful, heartbroken…

You Can And You Should Go And Find All The Wonderful Positive Memories From Your Past

You can find them. You will as you keep searching. Some are pretty available. This is an important part of self discovery and evolution.It is important to find and focus on the positive in our life more often because we become what we think about. It gives us much more to feel grateful about and celebrate.

What we think about we bring about. Birds of a feather flock together so we find that we get back more and more of what we are thinking about. Think positive!

What you are learning in this, of great importance, is that instead of remembering and reliving past disappointments and being a victim of them, or remembering past positive times with longing we can do something about it.

We don’t have to live with the hurt and the longing we can live positively happily and powerfully. We can fill our mind and being with the positive feelings, and images, and sounds of our positive experiences.

Imagine How Much More Wonderful Life Would Be If You Enjoyed More Positive moments overall.

Now you can. You can go back into your past and begin to unlock all the positive moments there are to relive and enjoy. These moments, these wonderful feelings constitute resources you can begin to use in the present and the future. You can literally transform your experience at any time.

Second: You Don’t Have To Go Back. You Can Imagine Yourself In The Future Behaving As You Want To Behave. 

The ideal you! The person who has it all together. Imagine what you would look like and sound like if everything worked out well for you. You think positive, you feel awesome, and life is grand. As you imagine that notice how this makes you feel. Feel it! Enjoy the feelings!

You can pick any one of the states. Confidence, for example. Notice how you look. The look on you face. Your eyes, your smile your confident expression. Notice how you stand, move, walk and use you body to express being confident. See how you gesture while you speak confidently and with authority.

You are confident, you are self assured, certain, powerful and positive. Watch yourself, as if on a movie screen, and notice how you feel as you enjoy yourself behaving this way. Make it absolutely wonderful. Adjust it.

Make it wonderful this is you creating it. Just as an artist paints on a canvas paint a powerful mental image of you being confident (or whichever resource). It’s you mental movie make it exactly what you want it to be. Make it outstanding! After all, this is using your brain, your mind to imagine, so imagine the very best, Spend time enjoying the marvelous feelings.

Make These Inner Mind Movies Spectacular

Make them soothing if you need them to be relaxed. Joyous when happy. I’m sure you get the concept. Spend time living in this future world. Enjoy the future you in these mental movies. Enjoy the past movie memories.

Consider where you want to be like this, when, with whom, doing what? Use the questions to focus on different times and places in your near and distant future when you want to be resourceful like this. Imagine it fully.

Two Ways Of Seeing: Recalling And Creating

There is something else you may or may not be aware of. There are two ways you can create images and you can remember in your mind. You can watch an event with you in it as if you are watching a video, or selfie of yourself. You can see you and others and the location and the circumstances as a video or movie.

The second way of seeing is through your own eyes. It is your point of view (POV). You don’t see yourself but you see what you see as if in real life. For example, in the number one way of seeing you might see yourself sitting inside a new car from the outside the car on the drivers door side. Or you might see yourself through the windshield, or windscreen of the car right there with your hands on the wheel.

In the second way of seeing you are in the car, feeling what it feels to sit in the seat, comfortable or not. Leather or otherwise. You might smell the new car smell. And you would see your hands on the steering wheel and feel yourself griping it. You’d see out the windows, the dashboard and if you look down your lap and legs.

You don’t see the entire you because what you see is what you actually see in the real world when you look out of your eyes. Your Point Of View (POV).

So there are at least these two ways to see, recall and create. You want to recall your memories first however you recall them. You want to live within them and feel and see and hear everything you are able. You want to re-experience the good feelings. Then you want to do the other way.

So whether you first begin with POV or not notice it and after awhile spending time doing it this give the other way some practice time.

Repeated Correct Practice Makes A Perfect Habit

Remember, this is practice. This is how you are going to build a positive new habit. You will enjoy this habit building. You practice daily, whenever you are able, going back and finding positive times from your past and reliving them as fully as possible. Spend dedicated time doing this. Find as many as you are able. ONE at a time.

Build your mental library of resources. Spend dedicated time going into the future and imagining yourself with all the resources you want to have. One at a time. Imagine people, places, events, activities, situations where you want more of these good feelings and resources. It can be any time, not just a difficult time but wonderful times as well.

Imagine yourself living in the future positively and resourcefully. Build a library catalog of positive future resources. Spend dedicated time doing this too. Do it also whenever you can during your day. Practice both of these using both ways of seeing. Do one at a time. POV for while. The come back later and do those over again but see it as a selfie video. Practice that for while.

Eventually, you practice and do both. In doing these exercises you are building so many positive skill sets and will develop so many positive resources and habits it will amaze and delight you.

Stop! Take a breath and relax for a moment and imagine  how fantastic life will be in the near, near future as you feel, think and act so much more resourcefully. Imagine how incredible you will feel as you tap into your inner resources more frequently and fill your daily moments in this way.

We Become What We Think About. What Consumes The Mind Controls Us

You now have the opportunity to become more happy, confident, peaceful, secure, loving, patient any way you’d like to be more of. You can feel anyone of these and all of them more frequently in your day to day. Isn’t that wonderful? It really is! The more time you spent recounting, re-feeling, recreating, re-experiencing positive memories and moments the more you get back.

SO keep going back and finding them. Find one, then find another one. Have fun finding out how many positive, resourceful moments you have actually had. Some will be real easy to discover, the ones you always remember, but as you continue to look back you will unlock and remember others you haven’t thought about in a long time.

Project into the future again and again in a variety of ways. Imagine your future, specific times and places and people you want to enjoy more. You want to have more fun, delight, and resourcefulness. Spread all the wonderful good resources and feelings throughout your future.

The byproduct of doing this is that more of you present gets filled with positivity as well. You live better right now too! Imagine, you go back transform your past by looking for the good in it, you feel great right now and start getting results you want and you code you future for all this goodness too. Pretty cool, wouldn’t you say?

Do All These Exercises In The Spirit Of Fun, Exploration, Adventure, And Play

Somethings may happen quickly or slowly it doesn’t matter stay with it playfully. Somethings happen instantly some take longer that is just how it is. Consider doing this as if you are planting a beautiful garden.

You plant the seeds and they take time to grow. Some come up sooner than others but eventually the garden appears. Relax, enjoy, keep practicing and let it happen. The benefits will be there.

Some things are simpler and easier than others just stick with it. Speak gently to yourself through all this as if you were a loving, compassionate coach helping you along. If things are tough they are tough no reason to get discouraged. Have fun, be patience, keep the faith and it will pay off.

My son told me today, that doing the top of the pyramid on a three high (three levels of water skiers on each others shoulders forming a pyramid) is scary. BUT he does it any way. He faces his fear and makes the climb and even while on top it is scary but exhilarating. Keep going, don’t let anything stop you.

There is noting to fear I only use that example because some people get frustrated if everything doesn’t occur over night and quit. You have to face the fact that somethings just take some time.

So if they do be prepared to hang in there. You will discover so much more delight than you can ever imagine if you make this daily ritual, a daily routine and practice.

You can’t even yet begin to appreciate how everything can and will transform when you apply yourself in this way. I’ll share more next time as we continue this exploration.” Rex Sikes

Find enjoyment everywhere you look today!

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