Category Archives: Personal Development

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The Easy Way To Keep Your Life & Career From Going Bad

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don't make excuses make good

” The goal, as I write  in these pages, is to feel the best you are able to at any given moment. Even, if you only feel a little bit better, that is what matters. It matters that you move yourself in the positive direction of feeling good. The results can be amazing!

It absolutely matters that YOU choose what you want to make yourself feel because it has an incredibly powerful and profound lasting effect. Your life can absolutely change from bad to better and from better to best when you apply these principles and practices.

Steer Toward The Positive

I have mentioned numerous times that it is necessary to cultivate the ability to steer back toward the positive. This is a skill that can be developed. ‘How?’ you ask. Take 100% responsibility for your thoughts and feelings. Promise yourself you will learn to be in charge.

Train your mind to see the good in everything. Train yourself to find the best feelings you are able to at all times. Keep your focus on the positive. What seems impossible to do at first and requires discipline becomes easier and easier the more you do it.

Develop These Abilities As Habits

Make your thoughts and feelings work for you instead of you working for them. It is said about the wealthy they don’t work for their money. They have learned how to make their money work for them. It’s true! They make money while they sleep from a variety of sources.

The same is true about your thoughts, attitude and mindset. Make your mind work for you instead of you being a victim of it. Learn to control your thoughts and feelings. Be the master not the servant. They do not teach you this in school unfortunately.

Usually, we are taught we have no control over anything but if we work hard we can succeed. Consider it one of the best kept secrets ‘they’ don’t want you to know about. You can control your thoughts and feelings.

Your Mind Is The One Thing You Can Have Complete Control Of

Once you master your mind you can shut it off. You can give up control once you have it, whenever you like. Once you learn that your thoughts are subject to your will you realize YOU are bigger than your thoughts. You are bigger than your thoughts.

You will be in charge of the thoughts you think instead of you thinking that the thinking is going on outside of your control. Do you get that? It is a silly thought to think that you can’t control what you think. Why would you ever think that. You wouldn’t if you were in charge of your thoughts.

You think those kind of silly things because somewhere in your life time you co-opted the thoughts of others. You didn’t even realize that was what you were doing while it was going on but it was.

You adopted thoughts from others as your own instead of thinking for yourself. Realize you have power to seize control and seize it!  Anyone can do it. Few actually will. Be one of the few that do instead of the countless that won’t. Make your live wonderful!

If you think silly, useless or stupid, destructive thoughts, or weak, wimpy, powerless thoughts that is what you get back. You will get back in results THE Results of your crappy ineffective thinking. Is that what you want? If the answer is no then now is the time to learn to take control.

Decide What You Will Think And Feel

Control means you decide what you will think and feel. It means you allow what you want to experience and ignore or eliminate that which you don’t. It means you can start thoughts that help you and stop those that don’t. When you want to meditate or relax you can choose your thoughts or turn them off.

You can’t relinquish control if you don’t have it in the first place. You have to be in control to let go of control. Control means you train your mind and make your mind YOUR servant. Make your mind work for you automatically instead of you working for it.

You only have to  move yourself incrementally in the right direction bit by bit over time, repeatedly, in order to learn how to manage your thoughts and feelings. It is similar to learning to ride a bike or drive a car or anything else you have ever learned to do. It is a skill, and ability you can get better at and get good at the more you do it.

Correct Repetition Builds Skill And Brings Benefits

The more you do it and the better you get at it the more confidence and competence you develop. The more you do it the more you are able to do and the better you feel. It continues this way. Everything begins getting better because you started making small but purposeful changes.

The art is learning to promote what you want to grow and enjoy and to let go of that which causes pain or suffering. Plenty occurs in the world that we might get caught up in for any length of time. Awareness, is when we notice we are not doing what we want to, we are not working according to plan and we steer back onto track.

Instead of feeling bad about going off course we celebrate getting back on course. All of us can go off course. That is part of living. Getting back on course is what we learn to do. We are gentle and loving and accepting of ourselves through it all. We find reasons to enjoy life and celebrate.

If I Can Do It I Know You Can Probably Do It Even Better

I choose to think about my children. I focus on how lucky I am to have them in my life and how great I feel. I count my blessings in many other ways. Family, friends, opportunity, difficult life lessons, experiences, travels, talents, events, all make up my life and my world. I am grateful for all of it. My life is perfect each moment.

When I focus on these things, before you know it, I feel much better. It is easy to feel better when we devote a bit of time to it. Because birds of a feather flock together once we find the first thing, or first few things to celebrate more flock to our mind. We find other things to become thankful about and celebrate.

Remember all the reasons you usually feel delighted. Don’t just intellectually recount these but feel them. Really allow yourself to feel the gratitude and the celebration.

I write this today because sometimes we can benefit from a nudge in the right direction. Keep at it. Make it a habit. It gets easier and easier. Any bumps in the road are there for you to learn how to not be thrown of course by bumps in the road. Pretty soon you can navigate pretty much any way. Enjoy and celebrate the process!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today!

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Do This One Tiny Change And You Can Move Mountains!

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take the first step in faith MLK

“Some people think in order to make positive, permanent, pervasive, change that they must change everything at once in order to get anything at all. That is just not true. What is true is you must change something but you don’t need an entire make over.

You have heard me say, or you have read in my writings a favorite quote, ‘drop by drop fills the tub’. Or I ask, how do you eat and elephant? Answer,  ‘Bite by bite’. You know the famous quote, ‘A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step’.

Small changes can be powerful. When NASA shoots a rocket to the moon its internal guidance correction system is making micro corrections all the while to keep it on course. That’s because if the rocket blasts off and is 1/10 of 1% off course near the time of lift off within a short while it will be hundreds of thousands, even millions of miles off course.

If you were driving straight in the salt flats and you turned your wheel just a tiny bit and locked it in right there soon you would be miles and miles away from the straight line you were traveling in. That small adjustment takes you way off in another direction.

So it is true if you are aiming at a target destination and you get off course by only the tiniest little bit you will be off course by a lot very soon.

The other truth is if you want to change your life it only takes a little bit of change to make a serious amount of large change. That tiny correction you make will take you very far in improving your life.

You exclaim, ‘I don’t have the time, the energy or the money to make changes right now!’  That is okay. Make one small change you can stick with and you will be amazed with the results you can get.

Whatever it is. Perhaps, it is dedicating yourself to reading a page or more of inspirational material each and every day when you get up. That isn’t much to commit to. 1 single page. Certainly, you could do more if you want but you could do at least a page.

Maybe you decide to listen to inspirational audio while you drive. That’s a great time to listen to motivational inspiring speakers. It is also a great time to shout out with enthusiasm your daily affirmations. It’s an excellent time for either or for both.

Or, you decide to spend 5 minutes focused on your goals first thing in the morning when you get up. You visualize yourself seeing yourself as already having all the changes you want. You imagine living and behaving in that positive reality.

Perhaps, you spend 5 minutes laughing when you arise. 5 minutes non-stop laughing. Or you laugh during your drive. You could commit to smiling more though out the day. Maybe, you commit to doing things each day that put a smile on someone else’s face.

You might decide to spice up your life by trying new things. You  use your opposite hand to eat, shave, comb your hair. You drive different ways to school or work. You walk places you have never been. You sleep with your head at the foot of the bed. Anything!

You keep a journal of all you are grateful for and as you list each thing you real spend a moment feeling the wonderful feelings. You decide to be nicer to the people around you.

You pay attention and really listen to people to understand. You monitor and manage your self-talk for a certain amount of time during the day. You meditate for 5, 20, 30 minutes a day.

You make it a point to stop complaining and blaming and you only speak about those things that uplift and make you and others feel good. You accentuate the positive. You speak only to bless, heal and prosper yourself and others.

You don’t have to do all of these.You could. Certainly they are all manageable.  But don’t bite off more than you can chew.

Pick one and commit to doing for no less than 30 days and perhaps a whole lot more. You will be surprised at what a difference it can make.

A little change, like a little faith, can move mountains.

Maybe, as you go along you discover you want to and can add in other things.  DO whatever pleases you and makes you feel wonderful.

But if you do nothing nothing will change.” Rex Sikes

Fill your day with delight!

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Maybe Therapy Sucks But You Shouldn’t!

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you atract what you focus on

“Alright, you may be offended by the previous blog. Some people may be others won’t be. That is ok. Everyone is entitled to respond however they respond. However you respond says more about you and what are your concerns are than is about my blog.

If you have read my blogs or followed my discussions for years you know I make the case that two people can go and watch the same movie side by side. When they exit one loved it the other hated it. Neither opinion has anything to do with the actual movie. This, of course, you already realize.

Who Is In Charge Of Your Brain

Their response to the movie has everything to do with their mindset, their expectations, their values, their experience of and during the movie. It is a comment about what they like or don’t like and has nothing to do with the movie at all.

It only seems to have something to do with the movie. After all is said and done it is their opinions. Professional movie critics simply provide their opinions and nothing else. You may see the movie and agree or wholly disagree with them. The movie is the movie – whether you like it or not IS YOUR REACTION or YOUR RESPONSE to the movie.

This applies to everything else in life. Life happens and we react to it or we respond to it. The key to success IS learning to respond rather than react. Be in charge of your thoughts. Run your brain don’t let it run you!

I have no monopoly on “truth’. I do not profess to. My opinion is not able to encompass every example and counter example in the world so I don’t try to. Still, you have to be above the yard stick in order to see both ends. What does that mean, Rex? It means, you have to have enough distance from the topic to see both ends or all sides.

Remember, every coin has more than one face. A diamond is multi faceted. No article or speech or book can encompass everything about the subject. So while trying to be fair I don’t try to encompass everything. That would be futile. I assume my readers are smart enough to know this. And you are.

Many Roads Lead To Rome Travel Well

Okay, it may have upset some of you (YOU)  that I said therapy sucks. My article, the point, the premise, theme, the thesis, remains exactly the same if you remove any and all reference to therapy from it. Forget therapy altogether. Take it completely out and read the article. Same with this article. In case, this fine point has eluded you.

The article is about you! The article is about me! The article is about the locus of control. It  had far less to do with therapy than with getting you to think about where you attribute the source of your suffering and the source of your resourcefulness. It is about whether or not you are ‘at cause’ or ‘at effect’.

Frankly, it only had to do with therapy to the extent that some practice that form too. Most people do it already in their everyday lives. Most people haven’t been in therapy. TAKE everything I said about therapy out and the article is the same article.

In my life it is me. It is Rex. ‘I’ am responsible. No one and nothing else  in my life but me. I am 100% responsible for my thoughts, my suffering and my bliss. I am the creator in and of my life circumstances. I am responsible for where I lay blame for problems.

You Alone Are 100% Responsible For Enjoying Your Journey

Either I put it on me or I put it onto others or on circumstances. I say the blame, I mean the buck. The buck lands squarely on my shoulders and my shoulders alone. NO ONE and NO THING else! I am 100% the creator of my life and responsible for my thoughts, feelings, behaviors and results. The buck stops with me.

EVEN if this is not completely an accurate representation of reality. Maybe there is an outer world that influences. I am not asserting that I am god if I say I create all of my experience so please don’t go there. I am saying a useful platform to work from is to adopt the notion that everything is up to me EVEN if it actually isn’t.

Consider Victor Frankl. Think about being imprisoned. Someone may take my liberty away. I may not be able to control that BUT I can control my response to a very disagreeable situation.

I can make it the best situation possible given the circumstances. I may be able to celebrate and remain totally free in mind and experience freedom even when incarcerated. This is what control means. This is what focus means. It means make the best of everything because you are in charge. When life gives you lemons…

It can either suck terribly or it can be incredible. YOU, ME our thoughts about it, our response to it, determines how we go through it. NOTHING ELSE DOES! Frankl wrote about this in ‘Man’s Search For Meaning’ if you have not read it you may want to.

Make The Most Of Your Circumstances

So when I say I blame myself I don’t mean I blame.  I mean I am willing to take responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, responses, actions and behaviors. I take responsibility for the results I get.

Millionaires are made during bad economies. While some are whining and blaming the banks, their jobs, the government, and others for a tough time some people are happily making money. It isn’t the outer circumstances it is what you think about the outer circumstances that makes the difference! From within so without!

It isn’t about blaming and criticizing oneself rather it is about learning who is in charge and doing whatever it takes to be in charge. Instead of blaming oneself for shortcomings celebrate the awareness! When you notice the heat, the hurt, the suffering, the fear or anger celebrate the awareness.

Then shift your attention so that you productively use your awareness to evolve. For god sakes don’t get mired down in self criticism. That leads no where fast. Celebrate! Give yourself praise and encouragement for noticing what wasn’t working and put your attention on what works. Focus on what you CAN DO instead of whining about what you can’t do.

The bottom line. If you think my post is crap and I am wrong that is absolutely fine with me. IF you prefer to focus on what doesn’t work and where you are weak so be it. You think you should work on your weaknesses and improve on those. Go for it.

Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude – Your Belief Determine What You Do – What You Think And Do Determines Your Results

You think you need to uncover the dirt in order to change. OK I get it. I mean this is in no pejorative way. I totally get it. Do whatever you need to do to maintain your status quo. There is room in the world for a variety of approaches and I have no monopoly on truth.

I wrote my article to bring awareness to the issue. I mean no disrespect. You like doing it your way. You like therapy. It is okay to like therapy. There are many approaches I like as well.

When I say the number 1 reason why therapy sucks I mean that IS the number one reason.  I never said all therapy sucks or never go or have therapy. If you read that YOU read that into my post. I didn’t put it there.

I Have Set The Alarm

My words are like an alert signal! I am sounding an alarm. In this day and age I believe rightfully so. There are abuses out there. Just as there are great therapists out there. Consider this; you may argue not all therapy is bad and I should not have said ‘therapy sucks’.

What if we change the premise to ‘all therapy is good’. Is that equally true or are their exceptions, as well? Might you find times and places and practices that are not good? Are there abuses in the field? See nothing is all one way or the other. There is nuance. Am I obliged to find all the ways that therapy wasn’t good then? I think not.

If you want therapy that is fine. Hopefully, having been alerted,  you look for a compassionate good therapist instead of accepting any old therapist. You seek the best approach and the most qualified worker.

BUT AGAIN none of this post or the previous post IS actually about therapy at all. It may still be difficult to understand this! I repeat, it is about where you put the responsibility and the practices and habits you have in life. It is about what you do most frequently during your daily life at work, at play, at home.

If you examine and search for reasons you are broken you will find them. If you look for ways to blame your family, friends, co-workers, yourself or the world you will find them. If you search for talents and abilities you excel at you will find those. If you look for ways to uplift and celebrate others and the world you will find them as well.

Whatever you focus on expands. You become what you think about. What you think about you bring about.

Some concepts are hard to give up. Some concepts are difficult to accept. Some things take time too. Its okay! I get it. Take all the time you need. But know this because it is important.

What You Believe Determines Your Reality

Perception is everything and it truly is. If you think you need to sift through all the troubles from the past in order to come out clean, so be it. Then you have to do that in order to fulfill what you believe; you will do whatever you must to remain internally consistent.

Go do it. But use this as a rule. You become what you think about most of the time. So stay focused on the positive, stay focused on what you want, keep focused on your strengths at least 80% of your time. Use 80/20 as a guide. Actually, I’d prefer 99 to 1% but okay 80 to 20. Most of us live this way anyway.

We can’t be 100% positive (unless we actually can be – that may just be a limiting belief) so any percentage points higher after 50/50 positive/negative is a step in the right direction. 51% positive is moving in the right direction. Keep on moving in the right direction!

Because what you focus on expands, because what you think about you become keep your mind on all the most marvelous aspects of you most of the time. Think the best thoughts. Affirm your positivity. Live in gratitude. Maintain a champion mindset. Live, lough, laugh!

The other 20% of the time, if you feel you want to or must, go ahead and develop your weaknesses. Go ahead and sift through the less than glorious stuff. You can have your cake and eat it too in this regard. You can develop weaknesses there is nothing WRONG in doing that.

Spend 80% Of Your Time Thinking And Feeling Good

Whether or not you resolve past issues during the 20% or whether you skyrocket ahead during the 80% time you focus on the glorious doesn’t matter. You will move forward at whatever the rate and for whatever the reasons because you are devoted to improving.

You may not move as quickly the closer you are to 50/50 because that is how you remain stuck in ok. The more you UP the percentage MORE of the time the MORE likely you are to experience positive changes quicker and more easily. This is because what you spend your time  doing most determines what you get back.

Don’t be upset if you are a fan of therapy. No reason to bristle because I said focusing on shortcomings and negativity is not the best approach for making positive changes.

There is no reason to feel bad unless you insist on feeling bad. There is NO reason to feel bad because of what I write. It isn’t worth upsetting yourself over. The goal is to discover what you can do to live more successfully. Take your control back don’t give me any.

Your mission, should you accept it, is to be the very best you that you can be. Ultimately, when you are happy as you want to be, it won’t matter how you got there so much. As long as how you got there was wonderful for you and the others in your life. Include others in the fun too! I prefer to enjoy the journey along the way.

Make The Major Part Of Your Life The Good Part

Make the major part of your life the good part, the great part, the fun, loving, kind, enjoyable part and you will be surprised at how quickly you can be, do and have everything you want. When most of your hours are filled with love, joy, fun, and delight YOU are already living life in a more meaningful way.

Spend your time in delight, in gratitude and celebration. Appreciate where you came from, all the experiences and people in your life. Everything from the past has brought you to now. Celebrate this!

Appreciate and validate where you are today. Celebrate all. Know that great things are coming in the future and that you will accomplish wonderful things. Good things are now and on he horizon, even if you can not see them yet, good things are coming your way. Let them in!” Rex Sikes

Make up your mind to make your mind marvelous today!

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The Number 1 Reason Therapy Sucks!

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talking about problems greatest addiction

“I might upset a lot of people with this but hang in there. Stay open as your read. You may feel a tendency to shut down and dismiss but keep an open mind. I know it can be difficult to listen (read) all the way through, especially in this day and age but give it a shot. Try it. Hear me out.

Some therapy will keep you in therapy forever because they want you to sift though all your pain, hurt, defeat, heartbreak, anger, sadness, every grievance you may have had because they believe buried deep within you are unresolved hurts and issues. You must bring them to light of day, work on them and over come them. This is very well meaning but not most effective.

This approach will keep you in therapy for a longer time. It is a ruse, a dirty trick played on you. The goal of therapy should be healing and to get out of therapy. This business model works against you since you are charged by the session the doctor makes more the less success you have. Your problems line their pockets with cash. This happens when the focus is on managing issues (in any field) instead of the resolution of issues. There may be legitimate reasons too. Not everything is cut from the same cloth.

The same applies to self help products and seminars when, after you purchase their product they continue to upsell you on why the original product didn’t work in the first place. While it can be true in therapy or with products and seminars some troubleshooting may be required none of it should make you feel inadequate about your abilities to change. You should be focused on what you can positively and proactively do to be able to live the life you want to live.

Therapy Should Search To Find Your Strong Points 

The goal should be to find solutions, resources, talents, abilities,all your strong points and to get you out of therapy. The focus in much therapy, as practiced, IS IN EXACTLY THE WRONG PLACE.  It keeps you locked into seeing a therapist.

Let me say there are scores of well intending, compassionate understanding people who value this therapeutic approach and I realize I am stepping down hard on their toes. There are many who practice and receive therapy who believe in it. Benefit can be found anywhere if you look for it.

I have the utmost respect for all these people and do not intend to cause any discomfort – other than the mental kind that comes with entertaining an opposing idea. This is a call to examine and to be open and to improve the work that good people want to accomplish. It is meant to build in a particular direction not to tear down.

I hope you understand. That said, let’s move on!

Therapy Is Supposed To Be A Healing

It is supposed to be about Healing! Einstein said, ‘We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.’

You don’t heal the wound by continuing to pick at it. You treat it and let nature heal while you move on with your life. Digging into the wound, other than to immediately clean it out and identify what needs to be done, does not help it.

Understanding one’s problems and listing reasons for being stuck may placate for awhile but it does not necessarily resolve them. This approach causes us to continue to live with issues. We explore and find the reasons we are as we are.

We determine who or what we blame for our problems. We make excuses as to why we haven’t yet moved. Instead we should take responsibility for the problem, get over it and move ahead.

Energy Flows Where Your Attention  Goes

This concept has roots in most of the major religions. Napoleon Hill and the early thought leaders of the 20th century addressed this issue well. It is popularized in Law Of Attraction (LOA) literature.

Simply put: What you focus on expands. Whatever it is, good or bad, wanted or unwanted enlarges when you pay attention to it.  It expands when we put our attention on it. This is about where and how we place our attention!  Whatever you resist, persists! What you fight fights back.

Earl Nightengale stated it. So had Buddha, and Gandhi when they said,  ‘You become what you think about.’ This is another way of saying energy flows where your attention goes. What you think about you bring about. What you hold in your head you will hold in your hand.

It is the principle of Karma. It is cyclical. You get back what you put out there. Whatever you plant you will later reap. What you attempt to fix you focus on so you get more of the problem.

The problem for people attempting to resolve their problem this way is that focusing on the problem IS THE PROBLEM!

Birds Of A Feather Flock Together

The Law Of Attraction states like attracts like. Whatever it is! Good or bad! Positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative. SO if you are stuck and you focus on why you are stuck you get more stuck. It is simple really. What you think about you bring about.

No one tells you this because we have become so entrenched in thinking this is the way it is. We have been lead by an industry into thinking that digging a hole will get us closer to the other side. It won’t! We just end up with more and more dirt.

If you focus on what you do not want you put energy into what you do not want. How do you suppose you will get what you want while you are totally focused on what you don’t want? YOU WON’T!

No one tells you this because you are their paycheck. Even if they are well intending and it isn’t about the money this philosophy will keep you stuck for a long time. This form of therapy is not the answer. Caring people can nurture and promote a problem unintentionally. They don’t mean to but they don’t know any other way.

Withdraw The Energy From The Problem

The way of change is to withdraw the energy from the problem source. Let it go. Drop it. Then direct the mind to what you want instead. Focus on what you want and it expands. If you stop feeding plants or weeds they will wither and die. STOP FEEDING YOUR PROBLEMS!!!

The reason why a lot of change work doesn’t work and why people stay stuck IS because the solution to the problem does not exist at the same level the problem was created. We have to shift, step aside, go around, move over to the positive instead of focusing on the negative.

Stop It, Drop It, Let Go And Re-Direct Your Attention To Solutions

If you want your life to change you have to change things in your life. You can’t continue to do the same things over and over again and hope for a different positive result. It won’t happen. We are our habits and if we are habitually focused on what is wrong we are not ever going to get to what is right until we change those habits.

Focus On Your Strengths; Focus On What Is Right

You don’t get stronger focusing on your weaknesses. You don’t get better developing your weaknesses. You might get to mediocre by working on what you are least good at. You become the best by focusing on and developing what you are good at.

When you focus on your strengths, what you are best at, you have an opportunity to take them to a championship level. You maximize your strengths. You accentuate your abilities. Remember, whatever you focus on expands!

Instead of looking for why and where you are broken search for why and where you are good. Look for why and where you are healthy! Look for why and where you work perfectly well. Look for your resources. Look for you positive characteristics and attributes and emphasize those.

Develop Your Skills And Abilities

Get better at these. Develop you positive thoughts and feelings and you get more of them. What you focus on expands. You become what you think about! You will feel more positive about yourself. Your confidence and your competence will grow. You’ll begin to feel better and enjoy more well-being.

Stop focusing on how you aren’t enough and begin focusing on how you are more than enough. Focus on the light and life radiating within you. Stop getting in your own way by looking for dirt and begin to look for gold. It is there within, perhaps hidden, but you will find it as you look for it.

Develop your positive thoughts and feelings, attributes and characteristics. Develop the skills and abilities you are already good at. Your confidence and well being and wonderful thoughts about yourself will grow too and soon you will discover other positive truths about you. You’ll discover glorious feelings! You will rock your world.

Praise Yourself, Celebrate and Become Filled With Gratitude

Stop blaming and criticizing yourself. Be grateful for everything you have and don’t have. Be thankful for all of your experiences good and bad, for all the wonderful and all the horrible people in your life. Celebrate, be grateful, be free.

Take responsibility for it all! Don’t be a wimp don’t make excuses just accept responsibility for it all. 100% This puts you in charge. When you take control everything changes for the positive. You begin to determine the outcomes. You decide to live as a victor, a champion, and not a victim.

If you want your life to change you must change things in your life. Change your thoughts. Stop blaming yourself, others and the world! Accept total responsibility for everything. Even if you disagree with this premise it allows you to be in charge and at cause rather that at the effect of others and circumstances.

Choose! Would you rather live from a place of compassionate, benevolent power or would you prefer to be a slave and a victim to problems? Would you rather live strong or weak? It is completely up to you and ONLY you.

Stop looking for what is wrong and for what doesn’t work and begin to look for what is right. Develop these things! As you do you will stop being weak and you will start being strong. That happens when you come into your own power. You will celebrate yourself! You will also find reasons to celebrate others.

You will be nicer, friendlier, more loving and develop better relationships when you embrace your strengths. It is a natural part of your development when you focus on the positive rather than the negative. You become kinder. You become more accepting. You learn change is easier than you originally thought!

Transform Yourself And Your Entire Life Transforms

You develop a strong sense of helpfulness and co-operation while at the same time you learn to establish boundaries. You say yes to more of what you want and no to what you don’t want. You stop wasting your time and enjoy life more.  You end victimhood and you stop being a doormat when you take charge of your life.

It is amazingly powerful! This is life transforming! You learn to shift awareness from problems to solutions. You’ll move away from the unwanted toward the wanted; away from the negative to the positive. You will develop new positive habits for staying focused in positive ways on what works, what is helpful, what you want and enjoy!

Stop! Don’t be one of these people who spend years trying to figure out what is wrong. They would be better served if they focused on developing strengths instead of discovering their weaknesses

Keep in mind the American Psychiatric (and Psychological) Associations philosophies of practices focus on the diagnosis and treatment of problems. Keep in mind psychology, just like medicine, is a practice. It is about diagnosis and repair. These practitioners are not gods, they are only expressing opinions based on their training biases and really nothing more. Actually, that is true about anyone.

If all you have is a hammer you treat everything as a nail. If the focus is on problems you’ll find problems everywhere. This mindset applies to you and me first and foremost. We must look for solutions if we want to find them.

It is accurate to say that in USA we do not promote health and prevention as much as we practice diagnosis, repair and management when necessary. We have little in the way of preventative medicine in our country but this movement has been growing slowly for decades now. Still, one can see the obvious battle between the corporate powers that be and those helping to bring about change.

Concetrate On Health And Well-Being For Yourself

Even though we don’t promote wellness as much people can find benefit anywhere and everywhere. Nothing is written in stone. We can all change regardless of what approach we take. Be positive! Be optimistic. Expect to find solutions and you can.

Perception is everything as are our expectations. People tend to rise to what is expected of them! Look to what is healthy and positive! Look into what is healthy and is positive.

Your goal is to have an incredible, loving, fun-filled, joyous successful life. Perception is everything. Orientation is everything. Framing is everything. Don’t submit to the limitations of philosophies. You deserve better.

See solutions, talents, abilities, resources. See positive potential wanting to be released. There are victors who chose to live as victims because they drank ‘the sugary drink’.  Stop it! Believe in yourself. Believe in the ease at which you can change.

Let me make this point very clear. This blog is not about criticizing the system although there is plenty that could be said. This is not meant to criticize countless numbers of helpful, beneficial practitioners of change. If you are in therapy and it is working for you celebrate and be grateful. That is what it should be doing regardless of the approach. I am all for doing what works!

My emphasis is that people put attention in the wrong place. This should be very clear. Therapy, as practiced by many, sucks because of what people focus on. The emphasis is on the problem. The same is the case for people not in therapy. They put their attention in the wrong place. This post is about where you put your attention and where to put it to get the most benefit! Please don’t miss this point.

Change work should be about healing and solutions. It could be about resources and strengths. WHETHER OR NOT someone is in therapy the point remains the same because this is really NOT about therapy! If you focus on the negative that is what you get more of. Stop focusing so much on problems. If you are going to find a therapist find one who focuses on solutions! They are out there!

I must keep reminding the reader: this point of this post is where WE place OUR attention! You must place your attention where it does the most good! Focus on the positive, your talents, your abilities, your strengths. You will find more of them when you put your attention on these! If you want your life to change you must change things you are thinking, paying attention to, and doing. You have to change some things to change your life. When you focus on developing your strengths your confidence increases as a result.

Expect Change To Be Easy And It Will Be. Perception is Everything

You can live an amazing, wonderful, joy-filled life NO MATTER WHAT. Your past doesn’t equal your future. Whatever you did or however you lived before that was then. Now is the time to make the change. Now is the time to start developing the positive habits that you will use to have the best life ever!

Live victoriously. Claim it! Live as a victor. Live and think and act and feel like a winner. You deserve to. Have a glorious life! Focus on what you want and can do. Focus on enjoying it all. Celebrate and becoming grateful for everything.

Make the changes you want to make. You can be, do and have anything you want. So do it! Be responsible for your life from this moment forward. There are more incredible and delightful moments ahead for you than you can even begin to imagine right now!” Rex Sikes

What a wonderful new day to delight in!

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The Number One Reason Therapy Sucks!

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Forget Your Weaknesses: Develop Your Strengths!

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opportunity is missed by most - edison

“If you learned you need to get better at what you are poor at you learned wrong. If your parents or teachers or anyone told you to develop and work on your weaknesses they were incorrect. You could spend a lot of time devoted to what you aren’t good at and be wasting a lot of your time!

Stop! Make a change that will bring you better results and greater satisfaction. Work on and develop your strengths! Take what you are good at and get great at it! This makes the most sense. This will get you the best result for your efforts.

Your Strengths Give You The Edge

Take your talents to the next level and the level after that. Your strengths are what you should be furthering. Who knows how far you could go if you focused on making your best even better? 

Developing your weaknesses sounds good but if you suck at something how long will it take until you are mediocre at it? Meanwhile, the best you got is languishing. It is silly to let your best go to waste while you focus on what you are the least good at.

Remember, what you focus on expands. What you think about most you become. What you put out there comes back to you. SO why spend all your time putting energy into what you aren’t very good at?

Put Your Energy Into Where You Are Good And Excel!

Emphasize and spend time with all that is the best of you. Think about what you are good at rather than what you aren’t good at. Focus on your strengths and develop those. Your strong points give you the edge your weaknesses won’t.

If you are bad at something and you keep trying to get better at it its more apt to break your confidence and crush your spirit. Build up your wins, feel the best, and live from where you are strong.

It makes sense if you are socially inept, if you aren’t able to communicate well; if you can not look another person in the eye and talk to them than yes, you should develop your skills to be able to do so. One of the best ways you do that is to develop your confidence.

Focusing On Your Best Develops Your Confidence

How do you develop confidence? You develop your confidence by making your best better. You feel confident when you take stock of and keep in mind what you are good at; you remember your talents and abilities. Confidence comes from winning and excelling.

It is wiser to start at the top and go higher than to begin at the bottom and work your way up to the middle. Skyrocket don’t struggle.

Be confident while staying humble. Bragging isn’t real confidence it is based in fear. When you really are good you know it you don’t have to prove it.

In your career, your occupation, your job, even your school you can bet you will be rewarded with a promotion or a raise or an honorable notice for what you are best at not what you suck at. Put your best foot forward not your worst. Develop your skills and abilities. You will be glad you did!” Rex Sikes

It is your day to make what you will of it!

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Do This: Whenever You Are Frustrated. When It Just Isn’t Happening!

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unworry more - most never happens

“Why are you frustrated? You don’t seem to be making headway fast enough? You probably hate it when someone says, ‘relax. Be patient.’ You don’t want patience right, you want your efforts to pay off now! Don’t you?

That, wanting, that desire, that insisting, THAT IS your suffering.

You are trying to push a rope. You are trying to force the process. You are trying to make water boil faster and you just can’t. Instead of relaxing and letting go you are getting hot. You do need to be patient and that makes it all the more difficult, doesn’t it?

You are split. You want it, it isn’t working. You know you shouldn’t feel this way but you do. You go back and forth, you can’t make it hurry and you are in a hurry. You are divided. Bouncing back and forth as if off walls. Guess what? You really CAN’T force it.

You do have to relax and wait. SO you might as well learn how to.

If you don’t know relaxation methods you should. Learn them when you don’t need them or when you do. Just take sometime and learn to relax, let go and enjoy life in spite of everything. Learn the value and importance of taking a break, a vacation from your woes. Listen to relaxation mp3s online or CDs. Take a class.

Go somewhere nice for a few days. Enjoy something. Actually take your mind off it. Meditate, go work out, work in the garden. Walk. But take a well needed, well deserved break. Seek to develop the abilities to accept, to let go, to relax and to be patient.

Those who are truly successful know what they can and can’t control. If they can’t control time then they use their time to feel better. The unsuccessful use their time to feel worse. Which do you want to be?

Go golfing, swimming, camping. Engage in a hobby. Have some fun. Let go. Successful people take out their yacht, their Porsche. They do anything to take a break. They aren’t going to let themselves feel frustrated when there are better feelings to enjoy!

You can be, do and have anything you want in life when you first determine what it is you want. Then you passionately let it consume you and you pursue it with persistence. You don’t quit until you have it.

You can transform yourself into a relaxed, successful person with a winning attitude and winning behaviors by beginning to imagine yourself as that kind of person, if you aren’t already.

Go back through my blog site and read and review my posts on how to become who you want to become. Learn to do what you want to be able to do. Find out how to get whatever it is you what to have.

Patience is your attitude and behavior while you wait. It is what you think and do in the meantime. It defines who you are. Patience means you are waiting for an expected outcome.

Imagine how different people were a couple centuries ago. There was no instant on anything, no high speed internet, no jet travel, no microwaves. Whatever time it took, took the time it took to complete.

People had to wait for water to boil; it took time to build a fire and warm the house. Trips took however long they took by horse, ship, and eventually by rail. To cross the ocean or the country you live in took a long time.  You couldn’t be in too much of a rush if things too weeks and months. My guess is they were qualitatively different than we are today.

For everything there is a season. Farmers planted and harvested in whatever time it took. They grew up used to waiting. Waiting was a big part of life. Mail took a long time. Communication and change was slow. There was no emergency medicine as we know it. No 911 responders.

People had a much different relationship to time. My guess is that they were less in a hurry than modern people because they grew up waiting for many things. Either you got used to it as a life style or you suffered. BUT they also didn’t have any difference to compare it to.

Those who have grown up with instant access, drive-up banking, microwaves, high speed this and that, the media and advertisers’ promise of faster, quicker, overnight, you can have it yesterday magic pills and silver bullets, get frustrated when things take time.

We think everything should be quicker, easier, take no effort, take no time AND be better. Our thoughts determine what we experience. We don’t have the same quality of patience as the people who lived long ago. We need to think the thoughts that serve us better. Our thoughts are what we can control!

That farmer, back then, planted and expected to harvest a crop. Sometimes the weather or conditions changed and crops failed, Sometime they were more bountiful but either way that farmer planted, WAITED and EXPECTED to harvest. It took all the required time it took. He had to do other things in the meantime!

Wait and see meant wait and see.

Patience requires faith. In faith you wait for what you believe will happen, what you know will happen. You wait for what you expect to happen. After all you expect the sun to come up tomorrow. It is a given. You expect the Christmas holiday madness near the end of each year. These are givens!

If you chose to take a pleasure cruise across the seas you expect to get to your destination. You don’t doubt that you will get there, although anything is possible. You have faith that you will arrive when you arrive. So you can relax and enjoy the journey.

When it comes to making our dreams come true and accomplishing our goals patience is required. We plant the seeds, we think about it day and night, we visualize, we affirm, we work our plan and we wait.

How we wait is important.  Either you are patient and expect good things or you are frustrated, tense, hurried and frazzled.

If we are patient we know it is happening. It is coming there is no question about that. It’s a given! The time doesn’t matter because we have put it into motion. We are initiators. We are creators. We make things happen. It will happen, we know it, it is just a matter of when. We have faith.

Yes, that may be tougher today because of our modern conveniences and our relationship to time but patience is still required. It is an attribute or characteristic that serves us well.

We shouldn’t be making excuses and whining and complaining and blaming others or the era we are born into. We should be cultivating winning behaviors and attitudes that make our success and happiness more likely.

You don’t cultivate new thoughts and behaviors thinking and doing the old ones repeatedly. We must change our thoughts and behaviors if we want changes in our lives. We must develop those areas that help us reliably get what we want.

We need to exercise our positivity, our faith, our patience and our persistence. We must commit to excellence.

We must wait expecting the positive outcome. We can’t dig the seeds up and check. We must not let out circumstances convince us that anything but the outcome we want, or better, is on the horizon.

If we give in to worry, doubt, fear, we undo our efforts. We get mixed results. We take a step forward and then backwards. We get caught up. Then we don’t have faith, patience or positive expectations. We are frustrated. You don’t move forward quickly if you undo each forward step you take.

We are looking at the wrong things. We are looking at results we created previously that are presently manifesting while the new results are growing in darkness. Keep your faith no matter what.

In order to get what we want we must remain laser like focused. We must rest assured. We must be convinced. We must know in our heart we have done the necessary work (when we actually have) and now it is only a matter of time. AND we continue to do whatever is necessary; we continue to have faith and wait expectantly.

How do we live in the meantime? We celebrate, we enjoy, we live in the present to the fullest. We delight and are thankful and live with true gratitude. We let every moment fill us. When there are obstacles we overcome them by utilizing our personal resourcefulness.  We have a winning attitude! We know how to relax too.

We live with passion, we live in this moment knowing good things are coming in the future. We know that what we have put in motion and what we keep in motion will be ours soon enough. We know the garden we planted in time will bloom. We nurture it along and enjoy where we are now at. This is a great way to live!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy and have fun today!

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Are You Ready To Transform Your HoHum Life Into A More Positive, Successful, Rewarding One?

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wattles universe wants you to have ur desires

“You would never think to put anything but the right fuel in the gas tank of your car, would you? Oddly, some people treat their cars and boats and planes better than they do themselves.

What You Feed Yourself Is Important

What you put into your system either nourishes you, builds you up, adds to your health or it does not. If you eat the right healthy food choices you can expect to be healthier than if you eat junk food and empty calories.

When you eat right you feel better, think better, behave better because you have provided your body the proper fuel it needs to go about its tasks. This principle not only applies to your physical health but your mental, emotional, spiritual and social health as well.

What You Focus On Is What You Get

Whatever you fill your mind with will be reflected in your attitude and in the life you live. If your current circumstances aren’t everything you want them to be then it is a sure bet you aren’t maintaining a healthy diet in one or more of these important areas.

If you want an incredible fulfilled life then you must provide your mind, heart and spirit with the proper nutritious fuel. You can’t become rich focusing on lack. You won’t be a success if you are concerned with defeat. You will not be happy if you are worried all the time.

Here is what you must do if you want your life to be more positive, more successful and much more rewarding.

Spend Time Each Day Consuming Positive Reading Material

It isn’t how much your read it is how much time you spend reading that is important. The longer you spend the more you benefit. Some people will complain they have no time. Then read at least a page or two from some excellent inspiring material daily.

Listen To Inspirational And Motivational Speakers

Listen to thought leaders who can help move you in positive ways. Fill your mind and your time with positive messages that lift you up and encourage you. Whenever you drive is an excellent time for listening.

Surround Yourself With Positive Friends

Keep company with positive people and influences who lift you up and move you forward. Eliminate those messages and media influences that are negative. Reduce the amount of time you spend with friends who whine, complain, gossip and bring you down.

Evaluate These

Who do you listen to? What do you read? How much time do you spend each day devoted to your mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, wealth and social well-being? Are you nurturing yourself?

Are you developing and enhancing positive relationships with family, friends, co-workers and love interests? Are you building your bank account and making your dreams come true?

How Are You Spending The Bulk Of Your Time?

Is it invested in you or in distractions and limitations? Are you watching television for hours on end, gaming, spending time on social media?

Are you filling yourself with positive inspiring news or news on how everything is falling apart and sucks? Are you predominantly positive or predominantly negative? What occupies your focus and attention most of the time? To what do you give your energy?

If you are what you eat you also are what you think and what you do. You are known by the company you keep. Your actions speak louder than words. If garbage goes into the system garbagewill come out of the system. This is known as the Principle Of GIGO.

You know how they train animals to behave, don’t you?  Repetition and conditioning is the key. They use positive reinforcement as a system of rewards.

Research has determined the best way to extinguish an unwanted behavior in animals and humans is to ignore it. Do not draw attention to it. Let it go. Instead, reward the behaviors you want to flourish. Repeat the behaviors you want to make habitual and automatic. Practice makes permanent.

Successful People Are Conditioned For Success

They learn from birth on because they have the right parents, or they get training and mentoring, or they stumble into it eventually through trial and error. Howeverthey come by it they live and think differently than those who are not successful.

Successful people follow patterns for success. The repeat the patterns again and again making corrections and adjustments as necessary. In going through this process they condition themselves for success. Wash, rinse, repeat. Practice makes permanent.

Don’t Get Caught Up In The Negative

Successful people don’t get caught in the negative but encourage patterns that work. Any great athletic, business or life coach knows this too. Place the emphasis on what you want not on what you don’t want because  you get back what you focus on.  They know that what you think about you become. Affirm what you want!

People who are not successful and who have difficulty in life repeat patterns of defeat. The wash, rinse and repeat that which does not work and that brings them down. The have habits that do not serve to make them happy, healthy or wealthy. Their habits make them miserable and keep them poor.

Successful People Utilize Positive Intentional Thinking

You can too. Focus on what you want, what you intend to create, what you intend to be, do or have and let the other stuff go. Remember, whatever you put your attention on grows in importance. What you think about you bring about!

Keep your attention off the negative, off the worry, off the fear, the doubts and anxiety. Keep it off comparisons to others, the blaming, whining, criticizing and making excuses. Keep talk and self-talk positive!

Focus On What You Want

Focus on the positive, the healthy, the nourishing good food and fuel for your mind, heart, spirit, and body. Then you will become what you want to be, do what you want to do and have what you want to have. What you think about you bring about.

What consumes the mind and fills the heart is what you get back in return. Fill yourself with celebration. Be grateful for whatever you have and whomever is in your life. Be filled with gratitude for everything and you will live a joyous life! Smile frequently!

The more time you fill  with positive, productive, successful practices and people the more you will transform your life.

Intentionally choose your positive thoughts and fully express gratitude and celebration. The more you enjoy these positive feelings the quicker and easier you will find delight and joy and transform your experience from ho-hum to absolutely incredible. Don’t wait, begin today!” Rex Sikes

Be thrilled today!

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Accidents Happen And Boy When They Do

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“It turns out the universe wants me to slow down. This morning, I was exiting the house, keys in hand on my way to a meeting, focused on hitting the button on the keys to open the car when I hit an uneven spot in the walkway and was pitched headfirst into my car.

I slammed into the car, my left knee hitting the pavement, my right foot twisting and turning under me as I fell on it. I got up slowly, it was difficult, my knee scraped and bleeding, my right foot sore. My wrists and forehead worse for wear but ok. I laughed, ‘what was that?’

I hobbled around looking for my keys. Took about 10 minutes when I noticed them about 20 feet away in the driveway in front of the car. Onto my meeting I went, sore but okay. I laughed it off at the meeting and had a most wonderful, marvelous meeting of new beginnings in many ways. Many new doors opened right then.

In olden by gone days I would have sworn, complained, wondered what I had done to cause this, or wondered why I had crappy luck. I would have been miserable. I would have poisoned the pot with negative self-talk, criticisms and negative questions.

Today, I could only think, ‘This is a blessing!  Wow, something good is going to come of this. I wonder what it might be. I have no clue. Surprise me.’ It was automatic.

As we were leaving the meeting I took my foot our of my shoe to see if it had swollen and stepped down onto the pavement and that was it. WOW! The pain was unbelievable. Up until then everything was fine, pretty much. I still had errands to run but now I was seriously hobbled and in a lot of pain.

I did them. I limped around doing errands the pain increasing all the while! I drove home. I barely made it into the house and into a recliner. Eventually, I called my daughter and asked if she could take me to urgent care. She came by and she did. What an angel. We got to urgent care about 4 hours after the injury.

At Urgent Care I passed out twice. I don’t recall it but so I am told. I nearly puked. I was hot and sweating. Apparently, I had spent too much time on the injury.

They x-rayed my foot eventually and gave me a diagnosis. The pain grew and grew. They wheeled me from room to room. They were very caring. Finally, they left my daughter and I alone in a room together.

I looked at my daughter and realized I was exhibiting pain in front of her all the while. She was watching Dad suffer. This isn’t a bad thing we all can hurt. Pain is a natural response.

However, recently I have been trying to tell her you can handle tough times, you can get through the pain, it too will pass and here I am passing out from it. I was not the example I hoped I would be. She, of course, already does know everything I am trying to ‘teach’ her. That’s the kind of person she is! Amazing.

I looked at her and focused on her. Inside I thought, ‘it is only pain’. I focused on my daughter, I kept that thought in mind and looked at her and my heart filled with love. Within minutes I knew I could handle the pain. We were smiling. It was wonderful.

During all of this time, from the accident onward, I kept thinking inside, ‘Wow, something good is coming my way, I have no idea what but something incredible is coming’.

I believe it too. I know it is. I began to say it out loud so she would know what I was thinking. ‘There is a blessing in all of this!, Something good will come of this.’ ‘I don’t know what yet, but it is a blessing.’

Speaking it out loud has its own power. It makes it more real too. AND I wasn’t lecturing I was just Dad talking to himself. I was affirming what I knew to be true and she was hearing me and seeing me. Even in crisis any of us can be resourceful. Everything can be a blessing if we only choose to see it that way!

If ever there is a strong, incredibly resilient person it is my daughter. She truly is my teacher as is my son. From the moment they were each born I committed to being the best guide I could be on our journey together.

I promised to love them no matter what. I also knew deep in my soul they would teach me more about parenting than I could ever teach them about growing up. I am the luckiest guy on earth with such incredible children.

Okay, so I know something about pain management and have practiced it for decades. I have taught pain control in workshops and seminars in various locations around the world. People have flow thousands of miles to spend days, weeks and months with me in seminars and live training.

Yet, in the heat of the moment I was caught up in the hurt.

I closed my eyes put my head back and began to think and ask myself, ‘what part of my body feels the very best?’ ‘In how many different ways can I discover myself feeling wonderful?’ ‘What is the best feeling I can find right now?’

‘Where does it feel wonderful? In how many different ways can I discover all the places in my body that feel good?’ I sent my brain on a search by asking questions and it delivered.

I used Directed Questions™ to direct my mind to what were the best feelings I could find. I found them and began feeling those! I began to experience relief. I was beginning to pay attention to what felt good instead of what felt bad. I was looking for what was right instead of what was wrong. I was finding it too.

My mind was attending to what felt the best. It was searching for the ways in which this incident was a blessing right now, in this moment, AND in the future with many good things coming my way. My daughter was here, we were together, she was helping me. This moment IS a perfect moment.

We were blessed in this way right in this moment! The moment was unfolding. It wasn’t just a blessing and an opportunity for the future it was a blessing right now. How lucky we were to be sharing this moment! An accident brought us this realization. How marvelous is that?

I had steered away from the pain back into the positive. You have read this or heard this from me before if you follow my blog or the materials I have shared for decades. I navigated to the more productive. I didn’t resist the pain or try to stop it. I looked for what was better. I dropped the pain and enjoyed feeling wonderful.

Yes, it really hurt but it began to subside. It became manageable. Yes, it was very painful when they manipulated my foot on the x-ray bed, or tried on various braces but as long as I realized ‘it’s only pain’ and allowed myself to be filled with wonder and enjoyed my awesome daughter I could handle it. Hours went by.

I told my daughter that looking at her helped me. I enjoyed and loved her and was feeling relief. Eventually, they found a brace that fit, gave me prescription for an MRI. Surgery may be required. Okay, so now some focus on healing swiftly may be the order of the coming days.

Right now, she is out running errands for us. Picking up food, etc. I am at home with my leg elevated and ice on it. I am fine. Does it hurt, sure but I am at ease with it. I have let go of the hurting and am focused on the miracles in life.

Everything is grand. I decided to share my thoughts while I had time during the day rather than my early morning writing schedule.

Another lesson I learned is: I should pay attention when I walk. Not be caught up in things. I used to practice ‘Zen Walking’, when walking just walk, the basis of Zen – be the activity and nothing more.

If you are going to wash the dish, wash the dish. If you are going to eat, just eat. No distractions, no TV, no phone or reading, just eat. Be one with the moment!

I had much on my mind. Slow down. One thing at a time. It may not need to be a rule but it can certainly be a lesson. I was inattentive walking to the car. Perhaps, I can use this lesson to remember to be more aware and alert when doing any number of things. A reminder to be aware! How marvelous is that?

I certainly remembered I didn’t have to be a victim to the pain. My first thoughts of pain added to what I was feeling. It made it worse. Once, I changed my thinking the pain lessened. I mean it really lessened!

I am not surprised because I teach this stuff. I know it works. I emphasize this because I was caught up in the hurting at first. Once I realized that, during everything that was going, and I utilized what I know works. It did. It worked! It worked quickly and powerfully. I could share other examples from my past but I won’t at this time.

On top of it my daughter is a marvelous nurse. She picked up delicious ‘OH SO GOOD’ authentic East Indian food from a friend who makes great dishes from her native land. We are having a feast. I am sampling while typing. Yes, very marvelous indeed!

I would never have received this delicious Indian dinner today. PLUS, as a result, I learned about a fantastic Indian Restaurant in my neighbor I didn’t know existed!!! Blessings come in all shapes and sizes.

I feel loved, cared for and grateful to have had this experience and to have such an incredible daughter. Thanks my darling! I’m a lucky Daddy!

I will have to slow down and take it easy for awhile. I have crutches and a brace and have been told to see the follow up doctors as soon as possible. Okay, I can do that. Tonight, I will relax, read some inspiring material and chill out feeling grateful.

All in all the events of the day, while not something I would have picked for myself, have been amazing. I have learned much and feel so loved and grateful. Something incredible has already come my way and I know more is on the horizon. Lucky Me!” Rex Sikes

How many blessings will you discover today? I wonder?!

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Attitude, Beliefs, Creating The Future, Decision, Definite Chief Purpose, Emotions, Energy, Expectations, Focus, Goals, Persistence, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Success

Who Is Your Boss? Who Runs The Show?

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what you allow is what will continue

“Who is your Boss? The Boss runs the show. Are you the Boss of your own life? Many of us like to think we are? But are we? Who is running the show in your life? If you aren’t the Boss you can bet someone or something else is. They could care less about you!

Be The Boss Of Your Own Life

Whatever distracts you from creating your life as you want it; whatever distracts you from maintaining your positive attitude; whatever distracts you from moving towards accomplishing your goals each day IS your Boss.

Whatever the limitation that prevents you from pursuing your dreams and making them happens is the Boss. This Boss controls your time, your output, your results, and your rewards. This Boss controls you.

If your watching TV, going out for cocktails, hanging with the boys or the girls or gaming instead of working towards what you want you then these distractions are your Boss. These distractions are preventing you from the success and happiness you want and deserve.

Your Habits Determine Who The Boss Is

Instead of doing what you can be doing to have a better life you let whims dictate how your life will be. If you aren’t in charge of yourself then your poor habits will be in charge of you. Others run the show. You won’t benefit by their control. You will lose out.

In order to win you have to run the race. You can’t quit or get distracted by something on the sidelines. You must focus on the prize, pace yourself and do your very best. Less than that means it is likely you won’t finish first.

Don’t let comparisons stop you either. Don’t let imitation thinking prevent you from giving it your all. There are always stronger, faster, richer, smarter, better looking competitors who seem to have every advantage but you can’t let that dissuade you. They can lose too.

Slow And Steady Wins The Race

Remember, the fable of the tortoise and the hare. The hare had speed and was confident he would take the prize. So over confident, in fact, he took a nap near the finish line. Hubris did the rabbit in.

The tortoise kept a diligent steady pace, did not stop but kept on going. Slow and steady he won the race. The rabbit awoke to watch the hare cross the finish line. The tortoise was in control.

Be the Boss of your thought and of your own habits. Control your time, energy, and attention. Commit to  winning the prize and to nothing else. If you go about it sloppily and half-assed you aren’t going to get there anytime soon.

Do not give away your power to others, to activities, to things or to places that do not benefit you in the long term. Stop wasting time with and limitations distractions. Decide how to best spend your time to live the life you want.

Limit Distractions And Unproductive Behaviors

Avoid negative media messages that bring your down. Avoid people who just aren’t productive for you to be around. Learn to say NO to those elements which don’t lift you up or move you forward. Value yourself, your time and your dreams.

Whining, complaining, making excuses, rationalizing, are all distractions. These do not get you any closer to making your dreams come true. Only think and speak that which blesses, heals and prospers you and others.

Stop! Don’t let your negative thoughts be your Boss. Don’t let limited, ‘I Can’t Do It’ thinking prevent you from trying and making it. BE the Boss of your thoughts and behaviors. BE an ‘I Can Do It’ person.

Keep Your Power Use Your Powers

Set your mindset and attitude to positive. When your thoughts and desires are aligned, and you congruently feel good and optimistic about getting your goals, things go easier.

You work smarter, not necessarily harder. You are more resourceful. Your time is spent on productive activity. You feel wonderful and you see opportunity more readily.

You handle challenges more easily. Everything is better when you are in charge positively! Be your own Boss and make your dreams come true!” Rex Sikes

You have another beautiful day to make the most of!

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