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Acceptance, Attitude, Beliefs, Creating The Future, Emotions, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Gratitude, Living In The Moment, Persistence, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Relaxation, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Visualization

Do This: Whenever You Are Frustrated. When It Just Isn’t Happening!

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unworry more - most never happens

“Why are you frustrated? You don’t seem to be making headway fast enough? You probably hate it when someone says, ‘relax. Be patient.’ You don’t want patience right, you want your efforts to pay off now! Don’t you?

That, wanting, that desire, that insisting, THAT IS your suffering.

You are trying to push a rope. You are trying to force the process. You are trying to make water boil faster and you just can’t. Instead of relaxing and letting go you are getting hot. You do need to be patient and that makes it all the more difficult, doesn’t it?

You are split. You want it, it isn’t working. You know you shouldn’t feel this way but you do. You go back and forth, you can’t make it hurry and you are in a hurry. You are divided. Bouncing back and forth as if off walls. Guess what? You really CAN’T force it.

You do have to relax and wait. SO you might as well learn how to.

If you don’t know relaxation methods you should. Learn them when you don’t need them or when you do. Just take sometime and learn to relax, let go and enjoy life in spite of everything. Learn the value and importance of taking a break, a vacation from your woes. Listen to relaxation mp3s online or CDs. Take a class.

Go somewhere nice for a few days. Enjoy something. Actually take your mind off it. Meditate, go work out, work in the garden. Walk. But take a well needed, well deserved break. Seek to develop the abilities to accept, to let go, to relax and to be patient.

Those who are truly successful know what they can and can’t control. If they can’t control time then they use their time to feel better. The unsuccessful use their time to feel worse. Which do you want to be?

Go golfing, swimming, camping. Engage in a hobby. Have some fun. Let go. Successful people take out their yacht, their Porsche. They do anything to take a break. They aren’t going to let themselves feel frustrated when there are better feelings to enjoy!

You can be, do and have anything you want in life when you first determine what it is you want. Then you passionately let it consume you and you pursue it with persistence. You don’t quit until you have it.

You can transform yourself into a relaxed, successful person with a winning attitude and winning behaviors by beginning to imagine yourself as that kind of person, if you aren’t already.

Go back through my blog site and read and review my posts on how to become who you want to become. Learn to do what you want to be able to do. Find out how to get whatever it is you what to have.

Patience is your attitude and behavior while you wait. It is what you think and do in the meantime. It defines who you are. Patience means you are waiting for an expected outcome.

Imagine how different people were a couple centuries ago. There was no instant on anything, no high speed internet, no jet travel, no microwaves. Whatever time it took, took the time it took to complete.

People had to wait for water to boil; it took time to build a fire and warm the house. Trips took however long they took by horse, ship, and eventually by rail. To cross the ocean or the country you live in took a long time.  You couldn’t be in too much of a rush if things too weeks and months. My guess is they were qualitatively different than we are today.

For everything there is a season. Farmers planted and harvested in whatever time it took. They grew up used to waiting. Waiting was a big part of life. Mail took a long time. Communication and change was slow. There was no emergency medicine as we know it. No 911 responders.

People had a much different relationship to time. My guess is that they were less in a hurry than modern people because they grew up waiting for many things. Either you got used to it as a life style or you suffered. BUT they also didn’t have any difference to compare it to.

Those who have grown up with instant access, drive-up banking, microwaves, high speed this and that, the media and advertisers’ promise of faster, quicker, overnight, you can have it yesterday magic pills and silver bullets, get frustrated when things take time.

We think everything should be quicker, easier, take no effort, take no time AND be better. Our thoughts determine what we experience. We don’t have the same quality of patience as the people who lived long ago. We need to think the thoughts that serve us better. Our thoughts are what we can control!

That farmer, back then, planted and expected to harvest a crop. Sometimes the weather or conditions changed and crops failed, Sometime they were more bountiful but either way that farmer planted, WAITED and EXPECTED to harvest. It took all the required time it took. He had to do other things in the meantime!

Wait and see meant wait and see.

Patience requires faith. In faith you wait for what you believe will happen, what you know will happen. You wait for what you expect to happen. After all you expect the sun to come up tomorrow. It is a given. You expect the Christmas holiday madness near the end of each year. These are givens!

If you chose to take a pleasure cruise across the seas you expect to get to your destination. You don’t doubt that you will get there, although anything is possible. You have faith that you will arrive when you arrive. So you can relax and enjoy the journey.

When it comes to making our dreams come true and accomplishing our goals patience is required. We plant the seeds, we think about it day and night, we visualize, we affirm, we work our plan and we wait.

How we wait is important.  Either you are patient and expect good things or you are frustrated, tense, hurried and frazzled.

If we are patient we know it is happening. It is coming there is no question about that. It’s a given! The time doesn’t matter because we have put it into motion. We are initiators. We are creators. We make things happen. It will happen, we know it, it is just a matter of when. We have faith.

Yes, that may be tougher today because of our modern conveniences and our relationship to time but patience is still required. It is an attribute or characteristic that serves us well.

We shouldn’t be making excuses and whining and complaining and blaming others or the era we are born into. We should be cultivating winning behaviors and attitudes that make our success and happiness more likely.

You don’t cultivate new thoughts and behaviors thinking and doing the old ones repeatedly. We must change our thoughts and behaviors if we want changes in our lives. We must develop those areas that help us reliably get what we want.

We need to exercise our positivity, our faith, our patience and our persistence. We must commit to excellence.

We must wait expecting the positive outcome. We can’t dig the seeds up and check. We must not let out circumstances convince us that anything but the outcome we want, or better, is on the horizon.

If we give in to worry, doubt, fear, we undo our efforts. We get mixed results. We take a step forward and then backwards. We get caught up. Then we don’t have faith, patience or positive expectations. We are frustrated. You don’t move forward quickly if you undo each forward step you take.

We are looking at the wrong things. We are looking at results we created previously that are presently manifesting while the new results are growing in darkness. Keep your faith no matter what.

In order to get what we want we must remain laser like focused. We must rest assured. We must be convinced. We must know in our heart we have done the necessary work (when we actually have) and now it is only a matter of time. AND we continue to do whatever is necessary; we continue to have faith and wait expectantly.

How do we live in the meantime? We celebrate, we enjoy, we live in the present to the fullest. We delight and are thankful and live with true gratitude. We let every moment fill us. When there are obstacles we overcome them by utilizing our personal resourcefulness.  We have a winning attitude! We know how to relax too.

We live with passion, we live in this moment knowing good things are coming in the future. We know that what we have put in motion and what we keep in motion will be ours soon enough. We know the garden we planted in time will bloom. We nurture it along and enjoy where we are now at. This is a great way to live!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy and have fun today!

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Attitude, Beliefs, Creating The Future, Decision, Definite Chief Purpose, Emotions, Energy, Expectations, Focus, Goals, Persistence, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Success

Who Is Your Boss? Who Runs The Show?

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what you allow is what will continue

“Who is your Boss? The Boss runs the show. Are you the Boss of your own life? Many of us like to think we are? But are we? Who is running the show in your life? If you aren’t the Boss you can bet someone or something else is. They could care less about you!

Be The Boss Of Your Own Life

Whatever distracts you from creating your life as you want it; whatever distracts you from maintaining your positive attitude; whatever distracts you from moving towards accomplishing your goals each day IS your Boss.

Whatever the limitation that prevents you from pursuing your dreams and making them happens is the Boss. This Boss controls your time, your output, your results, and your rewards. This Boss controls you.

If your watching TV, going out for cocktails, hanging with the boys or the girls or gaming instead of working towards what you want you then these distractions are your Boss. These distractions are preventing you from the success and happiness you want and deserve.

Your Habits Determine Who The Boss Is

Instead of doing what you can be doing to have a better life you let whims dictate how your life will be. If you aren’t in charge of yourself then your poor habits will be in charge of you. Others run the show. You won’t benefit by their control. You will lose out.

In order to win you have to run the race. You can’t quit or get distracted by something on the sidelines. You must focus on the prize, pace yourself and do your very best. Less than that means it is likely you won’t finish first.

Don’t let comparisons stop you either. Don’t let imitation thinking prevent you from giving it your all. There are always stronger, faster, richer, smarter, better looking competitors who seem to have every advantage but you can’t let that dissuade you. They can lose too.

Slow And Steady Wins The Race

Remember, the fable of the tortoise and the hare. The hare had speed and was confident he would take the prize. So over confident, in fact, he took a nap near the finish line. Hubris did the rabbit in.

The tortoise kept a diligent steady pace, did not stop but kept on going. Slow and steady he won the race. The rabbit awoke to watch the hare cross the finish line. The tortoise was in control.

Be the Boss of your thought and of your own habits. Control your time, energy, and attention. Commit to  winning the prize and to nothing else. If you go about it sloppily and half-assed you aren’t going to get there anytime soon.

Do not give away your power to others, to activities, to things or to places that do not benefit you in the long term. Stop wasting time with and limitations distractions. Decide how to best spend your time to live the life you want.

Limit Distractions And Unproductive Behaviors

Avoid negative media messages that bring your down. Avoid people who just aren’t productive for you to be around. Learn to say NO to those elements which don’t lift you up or move you forward. Value yourself, your time and your dreams.

Whining, complaining, making excuses, rationalizing, are all distractions. These do not get you any closer to making your dreams come true. Only think and speak that which blesses, heals and prospers you and others.

Stop! Don’t let your negative thoughts be your Boss. Don’t let limited, ‘I Can’t Do It’ thinking prevent you from trying and making it. BE the Boss of your thoughts and behaviors. BE an ‘I Can Do It’ person.

Keep Your Power Use Your Powers

Set your mindset and attitude to positive. When your thoughts and desires are aligned, and you congruently feel good and optimistic about getting your goals, things go easier.

You work smarter, not necessarily harder. You are more resourceful. Your time is spent on productive activity. You feel wonderful and you see opportunity more readily.

You handle challenges more easily. Everything is better when you are in charge positively! Be your own Boss and make your dreams come true!” Rex Sikes

You have another beautiful day to make the most of!

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Attitude, Creating The Future, Decision, Emotions, Energy, Focus, Goals, Habit Formation, Happiness, Intentional Thinking, Persistence, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Success, Unlimited Power

Haven’t You Been A Loser Long Enough? Do This To Win!

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start living your life fearlessly

“Are you dissatisfied with the results you have been getting? Are you unhappy with where you are at? Maybe things are mostly okay but you seem stuck? You want to advance but you aren’t moving ahead quick enough? There is something you can do.

I don’t like the term positive thinking because it has been misunderstood by too many. Some people just don’t get what it is about because there are those who have stated that it is wishful thinking, hoping, and unrealistic dreaming. I disagree. So I prefer to call it Intentional Thinking.

Intentional Thinking Means You Choose Your Thoughts

You are in charge. You are the decision maker. It is pretty easy to know whether or not you are doing it correctly. Either you are thinking what you intend to or you are not. Your thoughts are either positive and productive or negative and not. You either feel like a winner or like a loser. If you are losing you can change that.

It’s your choice. You are not your thoughts!  You think thoughts! Thoughts come from everywhere. Much of the thoughts we think and the thought paths we go down are a result of others; people in authority, peers, the media, some we generate on our own but most of our thinking we adopt or adapt from the outside.

Rather than being victim of unwanted thoughts or thought patterns I recommend you choose what you want to think. You are bigger than the thoughts in your head and the ones you speak so you should be in charge. Sadly, many people are not. They let all these other people’s thoughts dictate how their life will be.

On top of that they have routine, habitual thoughts. They spend time thinking thoughts of sadness, worry, defeat, failure, negativity, blaming, whining, excusing. Their lives reflect their mental attitude too. They lose, they worry they will lose. They try to avoid losing. They fear they don’t have enough, won’t be enough and aren’t enough.

It is simple. Your thoughts either inspire or fatigue you. They either motivate you or scare you. They are either positive or negative. They either move you closer to your goal, keep you stuck, or move you further away. Just as in football the ball is either advancing toward the goal line or it is not.

Break The Loser Mentality Cycle

You choose! That is the one power you are assured of in this life. You can choose your thoughts. While it may seem difficult due to years of habitual defeatist thinking choosing your thoughts IS the one power you definitely have. Either you choose your thoughts or they are choosing you. So what is it going to be?

Are you thinking what serves you? Are you thinking thoughts that make your life better? Either you are or you aren’t? Are you thinking what you intend to think? Are you moving yourself down the field closer to your goal? If yes, fantastic! If no, then you must change something you are doing. You must change what you think and are focused on.

Thoughts flock together just like birds. One negative thought produces so many others. Our brains work by association and one idea leads to another. Soon we are swept up in a whirlwind of less than glorious thoughts that produce less than glorious feelings at the same time. We think poorly and feel poorly. Woe is me!

You have to break the cycle. One positive intentional thought you produce will lead to a flock of other positive thoughts. However, if your thinking has been routinely, habitually less than glorious, haphazard and unintentional, you have to stick with it and guide your thoughts. You have to be the chooser for awhile.

Choose: Become Aware Of Your Productive Thoughts

You have to be aware and deliberately choose the positive thoughts you want to keep and ignore or eliminate the negative ones that drag you down. You have to overcome the routine doubts, worry or fear that you have tolerated and accepted as your reality for so long.

The negative thoughts will persist for awhile. Why? Because that is what you have been habitually doing. You need to develop a new productive, positive habit. Don’t worry (worry is the old way) you will succeed as you persist. Set your course and determine to get there!

Commit to staying as positive as you can. Step by step. Even when the negative thoughts rear their ugly head you can overcome them by staying the course. Don’t be tricked or deceived! Don’t give in or give up. Remember, drop by drop the tub gets filled. Little by little you will make headway

If you fall off the horse get right back on. Focus your attention on being positive. Accept only the thoughts you INTEND! Be deliberate! Choose what you want to focus on. Bring your attention and energy only to what you want. Let go of the thoughts that don’t serve you. Give up the old unproductive ways and pursue the new.

While it seems difficult at first, the good news is, it gets easier and easier. Once you start choosing you discover the power in your choice. When you accept responsibility, 100% responsibility, for all your thoughts you step into your power. Ultimately, the new way becomes a habit and automated.

You are no longer a victim, you no longer drift haphazardly like a cork floating on the water but you move because of your own volition. You take charge of your thinking and your feeling and you claim your mind, body and life back. You determine how things will be. You exercise your power because you discover your power.

What You Get And What You Got Has Always Been Up To You

In case it hasn’t already occurred to you – you are already a powerful creator. You are 100% responsible for your life conditions as they currently are. Sure, you can blame it on others, or the economy, or god, or whatever but what has that gotten you so far. It certainly hasn’t and won’t change anything BUT YOU can!

Do you have what you want?

Is it mostly, somewhat or not even close to the life you would choose for yourself? If you don’t like your current lifeYOU CAN change it. You created this one, unintentionally perhaps, now create the one you intend to create. Create the life you want! You should be living the life you intend to live!

If you want to know how to take charge read through all these blog posts again. If you haven’t already start at the beginning. Go back and re-read as many times as you can, days and weeks apart because you will discover new things each time you revisit these materials.

Read Napoleon Hill, Wallace Wattles and others whose works, along with ancient texts, stand the proof of time. Do something in your own best interests. Be your own best friend and do that which will help you feel the way you want, be the way you want, and have what you want! Fill your mind with the positive thoughts you want!

Attitude Determines Your Altitude

If you are unhappy with the outside world. If you don’t like the results you have been getting then you must change your thinking. You can’t change the outside world until you first change your inside world. It begins with you!

Once YOU develop a powerful, positive, habitual attitude and mindset you can influence the outer world in amazing ways. You can begin to get the results you want in the world. It begins within you! You begin to create and shape and influence the world. Whatever the world gives you you make better!

This moment the decision is yours! What will you commit to? Either you remain a victim of unintended, haphazard, wishy washy or mostly negative thinking or you chose to become a power house who goes after and gets your dreams and goals.

Either You Transform Your Life Or You Don’t

You either transform your life or you don’t. No one will do it for you. The world isn’t going to change for you. Either you do it now or you wait some more. I can promise you this, you have already waited long enough. Some day just never comes.

Either you take control in this moment or you don’t. You are either positive or negative. You are in control or you are being controlled. Which will you live with? What will you do? Right now you are getting exactly what you you want or don’t want.

Your life is already a reflection of your thinking. How and what you have been thinking has brought you where you are in the world today. What you think from this day forward will determine where you are next.

You can’t escape your thoughts. You are either the captain of your ship or you are passenger being taken for a ride. Which do you want to be? Your choice. You can begin today a entirely new wonderful way to live. So won’t you? Do it now! ” Rex Sikes

Transform your day into something miraculous!

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Acceptance, Affirmations, Attitude, Blessings, Celebration, Emotions, Focus, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Happiness, Learning, Overcoming Difficulty, Persistence, Positive Thinking, Responsibility

Do This When Frustrated, Angry or Feeling Bad!

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worry takes away today's peace

“How can you tell if you are focused on what you don’t want or what you do want? It is actually easy. Your have a signaling system that you can use. It alerts you when you are on or off track. You only need to learn how to recognize it to use it. It requires is becoming aware.

Your Feelings Are Your Signal System

If you are frustrated it is a signal you are focused on what you do not want. Negative emotion is the signal you are focused on what you don’t want. When you are feeling good and have positive emotions it is a signal you are focused on what you want.

Negative emotion only means you are thinking about what you do not want. Whatever you are thinking about mostly is what you get more of. You create the conditions of your life experience. You manifest more of the same. What you think about you become.

If you are frustrated, angry, depressed, anxious, worried, fearful, blaming and accusing, whining and complaining you are spending time and energy in a less than glorious place. The feelings that cause you to blame or complain are the signal.

If you catch yourself criticizing and speaking poorly about self, others, events and situations that is a signal. A clue you are focused in less than productive ways on what you do not want.

Once you become aware you are feeling negative, feeling frustrated, and you don’t like feeling that way you can do two things. First, you can get more frustrated, and more angry, you can get more intensely negative to the point where you think and say and commit to yourself,  ‘never again!’ You can ramp it up and get to that ‘this is the last straw’ point. From this point you can make changes you need to.

That is one way of dealing with it. It can and does occur naturally for people. They just get to the point where they know they have to change. That intense emotion is fine as long as it serves to take them to a place where they stop focusing on the negative and begin focusing on the positive.

The negative feelings are the signal you are not focusing on what you want. However, if you don’t change your focus to what you do want you won’t have the relief or get the results you hope for. You must wake up, pay attention to the signal and change what you are doing.

You must switch your attention. THAT IS WHAT your feelings have been trying to get you to do. You feelings are trying to GET YOUR ATTENTION enough for you to notice so you can SWITCH!

Remember, if you always do what you always did you always get what you always got. It is an opportunity to be productively different.

Clarify What You Do Want

Use the powerful negative feelings to figure out what it is you do want. Stop focusing on the negative and start focusing on the positive. Commit to staying focused on the positive. Whenever you feel negative there is an adjustment you should make. That IS the signal you are off course.

You have an internal guidance system. You have an internal GPS. You have a system designed to be self correcting. The unwanted thoughts and feelings inform you that you are off course. Don’t fight them, celebrate when you recognize the signal and make the necessary changes. Less than glorious means time to change!

Some people have spent so many years ignoring or fighting and pushing down and repressing their feelings they have difficulty telling when they are feeling good or  less than glorious. Still, you can learn to pay attention and benefit from this internal guidance bit by bit, Awareness is your key! It may be more subtle but you can do it.

Commit to paying attention. Do a self inventory frequently though out the day by asking ‘how am I feeling’ . Take a moment to evaluate and be honest. It is useful  to color chart your feelings using crayon or markers to indicate the changes during the day.

Notice predominant colors and notice how frequently you actually fluctuate. This is a great learning tool Give it a shot and you may surprise yourself.

You can ask someone  to assist you by pointing out when you are acting in certain ways. Just don’t bite their head off when they help. The goal is to become aware when you are feeling less than glorious so you can change direction.

Second, Make Incremental Change

You change from bad to a little bit better. Step by step. The goal is to feel a bit better. Actually, the goal is to feel the best you can most of the time, but if you are intensely down or angry going from that place to joyous is too big a leap.

Going from angry to frustrated is a smaller step and a worthwhile one. You are learning to lessen the anger and move away from it.

People either get frustrated and then angry or they can get angry and cool off to frustrated. It is like a gate that can move in either direction. A swinging door. So when you are really mad the goal is to cool off and begin to think of what you do want.

If you are down you want to get to a bit better place. A place more okay and begin thinking about what you do want. If you are depressed you may want to get frustrated and angry. At least, from angry you can act.

Because it is intense you create more movement. From there you can more readily change. Regardless, one needs to get to a place where ‘enough is enough’ and then make positive productive change.

What you want makes you feel good when you think about it. If when think about what you want you feel bad you aren’ t thinking about what you do want. You probably are thinking about how you don’t have what you do want.

You won’t feel good if you compare where you are to where you want to be unless you are celebrating closing the gap. If as you inch your way forward you are delighted the entire time then it is fine.

Gratitude Helps Make Everything Better

If you celebrate everything you are on the right track and you will feel better more of the time. How can you feel down and out, frustrated, angry or bored when you are thankful and happy and delighted about everything? You can’t!

Find every little thing you can to enjoy, and appreciate. The more you find the better you will feel.

Once you make gratitude and celebration a daily habit you will be thinking and feeling good most of the time. You will be much closer to making your dreams come true as you live this way. Then your head and heart is clear to find more opportunity and advantages each day. You are better equipped to handle obstacles, and disappointment. You are far more resilient and resourceful!

When you live in gratitude and celebration everything is incredible and getting better at the same time. It is one of the wisest and most powerful choices you can make. Celebrate everything, even the tough stuff! Look for the silver lining and emphasize it. Never waste an opportunity to feel grand!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today!

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Acceptance, Attitude, Focus, Forgiveness, Getting Over The Past, Happiness, Learning, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Improvement

You Screwed Up! How To Get Over It!

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your best teacher your last mistake

“You screwed up! Big or small? It doesn’t matter. We all make mistakes. The big question is what to do when you do make a mistake? How do you keep going?

Okay, this won’t be the first time you heard this. You are human. Humans make mistakes. That is what we do. That is how we learn. From our earliest moment we are screwing up and it is informing us and teaching us.

BUT since we went to school we hate messing up. We hated those red marks on our tests. We were told everything we did wrong. SO we developed an aversion to it. We developed a fear for making mistakes.

We responded out of sorts. We don’t like it. We are afraid of it and feel bad when we screw up.

Stop Focusing On Mistakes

If we focus on what we don’t want we get more of what we don’t want. If we spend time worrying about making mistakes it is more likely we will make them.

If we think ‘don’t screw up’ it is not any different than telling a child ‘don’t spill your mill’. You know what happens when we do that.

Focus On What You Do Well

You have to live fearlessly and expect the best. You need to plan for success and not let mistakes bother you so much. You are so much more than your occasional screw up.

You do more things right than you do wrong. Celebrate that! Embrace this! Accept it! You do plenty of things well and quite well.

How We Learn

As a child you learned to roll over, sit up, crawl and eventually walk by making more movements than were necessary. These movements were way off base. They weren’t at all close to what you need to balance or move forward easily.

When you learned to feed yourself you repeatedly missed your mouth with the spoon getting food all over the place and yourself. You made movements way off base.

You never thought to call them mistakes. They were! They were necessary for you to eventually hone your skills and get the food in your mouth. They were necessary for balance, movement, navigation.

These are called Unwanted Parasitic Movements. Name sounds horrible but you needed to learn how to stop doing them in order to get the spoon to your mouth, for you to sit up, crawl and walk.

They were absolutely required. They were larger than necessary, not even closed to the refined movements you learned to make because of them. It is like coloring outside the lines. You went outside the lines while learning to color inside the lines.

You learned to eliminate all that was unnecessary in order to refine and perform these skills. You got rid of these unwanted parasitic movements to smoothly navigate the spoon to your mouth.

It was all done through repetition. It was all learning. It was all ‘not that way but this way’ when it came to aiming your arm and hand to your mouth.

When you watch an infant sit notice how much it moves as it is learning to sit comfortably still. The infant is learning to balance from all these extraneous movements.

Good thing you couldn’t talk or think about it as you do now, you’d have quit after the first or second try, starved to death and would not be reading this blog.

Accept Mistakes As Part Of Being Human

Mistakes are part of evolving, growing, developing. If you deny making them or get caught up in thinking about them, over thinking about them or worrying about them you will only be miserable.

You will stagnate and prevent yourself from learning valuable lessons. You will make it tougher on yourself. Pat yourself on the back when you make a mistake and say to yourself, ‘You did the best you could. Better luck next time’.

Realize we all make them and they are a part of life. Embrace yourself, forgive yourself. Embrace your mistakes, forgive yourself for making them. It is absolutely ok.

Yes, there may be consequences and you may need to make restitution for your mistakes that should be understood. That is part of the process.

Don’t shirk your responsibility when a mistake affects others. Ask forgiveness do what you can to rectify it. Be positive and proactive. Do not let it ruin you. Make good on it and get over it.

Mistakes Make You More Attractive

People like people more who are able to forgive themselves and admit their mistakes. It actually makes them more attractive. There is the story of a popular television entertainer who was supposed to run up a flight of stairs during his TV special.

He stumbled and fell. The producers said, ‘don’t worry we can edit it out’. He said ‘leave it in’. He understood that it would make him more human and that the audience would feel for and pull for him seeing him falter but continue to go on. And he was right!

Happy people know this inside. They know that making a mistake is actually a learning experience and an opportunity. Since we all make them and it is probable we will continue to make them the best approach seems to be relaxed acceptance.

Don’t get bent out of shape. Keep moving forward. The more you can celebrate mistakes the less the sting. When you are able to embrace and accept, acknowledge, learn and move on your life takes on a much more wonderful quality.

When you give yourself permission to screw up or fail it takes the sting out of it. You will find yourself hurting less and feeling better more frequently. Attitude is important. It makes all the difference in the world. Keep on making mistakes and keep on learning and growing!” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

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Acceptance, Attitude, Curiosity, Decision

How To Stop Being An Ass And Keep An Open Mind

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“Keep an open mind. You hear about this frequently. You are told to have it, or acquire it, or maintain it. Some people even think they possess one. Do they? Do you? How can you tell when you are open to new ideas or when you shut down?

Do you jump or rush to conclusions? Do you believe there is a right answer to the problem? Do you believe there is only one correct solution to any given situation? Are things cut and dried, black or white, right or wrong? Do you grab onto the first thing that you hear about, or that enters your mind, and establish it as a fact?

Symptoms Of A Closed Mind

When you have a closed mind it is easy to pass judgement. You tend to lock onto things and argue your points or refuse to let go and see that other possibilities exist. Everyone else is wrong! You know it and you can tell. There ought to be  a law for goodness sakes!

My definition is simply: Contempt for a new idea prior to examination is a sign of a closed mind.

Many people dismiss out of hand an idea without exploring the merits of the idea simply because it does not fit their existing gestalt or mindset. To quickly refuse to even examine another point of view is a sign that the door to the mind is definitely shut.

What To Do About It

Explore! I always say exploration is the doorway to adventure. Be willing to journey elsewhere in your mind to discover what is possible. You can do this without even leaving where you are at. Simply decide to explore an idea or a  concept, and research it. Read about it, examine it while keeping as open minded as possible.

When the tendency to shut down arises, you stop it. When you begin to think this is BS stop it! Hold it in check. Determine to see it all the way through prior to labeling it as bunk. It requires discipline, especially if you are quick to make judgements, but hang in there.

Sometime you habitually shut down so fast it is instantaneous. When you become aware that you are being closed minded and that you have already shut the door, open it back up. It may be difficult but do it anyway. The more you open it back up the better you get.

Awareness is the goal. You want to be able to recognize when you shut down, or are about to shut down so you can do something about it. Be grateful when you become aware that you are closed minded because that is when you can begin to change it.

Ask questions. Become curious

Examine your own judgements and try to determine from where they arise. Do you base your opinions on something you saw or heard, are these from your past? Did you learn them from someone? Who else specifically that you know thinks or believes as you do? Who is it that believes these particular idea to be true?

Ask Yourself Directed Questions™

Direct your mind to positive things you can think about. Wonder in your mind how it might be better. Look for how you might enjoy the different possibilities. Ask questions that lead you into the behaviors you want to acquire or do more reliably.

How delighted will I be to discover I am able to entertain new ideas, that I otherwise might have resisted? In how many different ways am I easily and naturally able to stay open and enjoy new ideas? How soon can will I begin to enjoy the benefits of keeping an open mind and entertaining new view points? How much fun can I have in exploring new ideas and topics?

Challenge Your Own Thoughts

You can boot strap it and challenge your own thoughts. You can ask questions such as Who specifically says this is true? What makes it true? How is that possible? How might it be otherwise?

Who holds other contrary views? What realistic reasons may they have for holding their point of view? What might I be missing? Do I know everything about everything? Who died and left me god?

In other words, be willing to look for and find other authorities who may have very valid reasons for holding these new ideas. By the way, the ideas may be ancient they may only be new to you. OR they may be brand new ideas. Challenge your own infallibility. This is important.

None Of Us Enjoy Being Wrong

We seek to be consistent in our beliefs. We do not like it when ideology conflicts. So we dismiss it before given it the time it is due. You need to ask yourself whether you view point is accurate 100% of the time.

You can ask, ‘Always? In every single circumstance? Is it true for everyone, everywhere in the world through all time?’ OR ‘Never? Has there never been a single example of it being otherwise? Nobody in the entire world for all time never ever felt differently?’

You might ask, What causes you to think this way? What examples, evidence or experiences  do you have for maintaining this point of view? Are their reasons from your past why it is important for you to maintain this position?

What would happen, or be the worst that would happen if you didn’t think this? What would happen if you held the other person’s point of view? How would you, or the world change if you didn’t believe this? Is it possible there are other points of view?

Apply The 100% Test

If something isn’t true 100% of the time why limit yourself? If you don’t have a monopoly on the truth why act as if you do? Let some of these things go. Learn something new. If you aren’t god why act like it? Broaden your horizons. Educate yourself in new ways of thinking and being. Examine things from different perspectives or points of view.

If it isn’t true for all time and all people in all places there are things to learn. Learn about different cultures and practices in different places and times. Expose yourself to new thought and new ways to think and be. Reflect on how it is possible for people to believe and think different things.

Listen

Listen to listen. Listen to undertand. Listen to Learn. Listen without speaking or challenging or arguing. Listen for no reason at all except to better understand and appreciate the speaker and her point of view. Too many of us are only waiting our turn while listening. We are waiting to speak and make our points rather than to reflect on and understand his points.

Ask questions to understand not to counter argue. Ask for clarification. State back in their words what you understand the person to have said and listen to the other person clarify it for you. Determine if you understood what they meant.

Hear it. Pay attention. Seek understanding. This means you are active in the process. You are accepting and open and available and interested in their point of view.

Sometimes when listening this way and they are finished do nothing but accept it. Don’t provide your views. Sit with it. Let them be heard. Appreciate the other person and their point of view without making your points. Silence at times is golden. At other times share and contribute.

Meditation

Mediation is great for helping to keep an open mind. Especially beneficial are those forms of mediation where you watch thoughts come and go without attaching to any of them. When you are able to be quiet and simply witness thoughts arising you can become free of them. You can become open to many new awarenesses.

The Benefits Of An Open Mind

When you are able to view many options simultaneously without closing down an entire new world of possibilities opens up to you. The world becomes more alive and so do you. Everything is more colorful and flavorful.

You have more choices. There are more options. You discover there is more to enjoy than you previously allowed.

You can begin to think outside the box. You become free. You are freed of the weight of thinking you know all the answers. Nothing keeps people back as much as not considering alternatives. When the mind snaps shut you close off to opportunities and advantages that may be beneficial to you.  Literally, you are not able to see them.

You explore new territory and venture further than you could before. You not only think outside the box but you can move beyond old boundaries. Instead of stopping yourself where you used to you now give yourself permission to go further. The further you go the more you are able to see.

You open up to more fun because you are willing to entertain new ideas and try new things. You can play more, experiment and enjoy discovering. Life does become an adventure when you are willing to explore. You may even try new foods, clothes and places to go. Who knows?

When your mind is flexible you are better equipped to examine options and find solutions to problems. After all, there are many ways to bake a cake, cook an egg, make a bed. There are many roads to Rome. Lot’s of ways to dive into a pool…

You don’t get stuck trying the same thing over and over again hoping for a different result. Your thinking expands and your world expands. More flexibility means more options. More options means more solutions. More solutions means greater possibilities!

Change happens. You change! When you are open, exploring and having fun you can change your thoughts to serve you better. Your thoughts and beliefs must change first if you want to change your behaviors and keep the changes. You can think better, feel better and learn to develop positive new habits.

As you change you become filled with more positive energy. You become more alive. More affirming. You become more tolerant and accepting. You include more into your world. We become freer and lighter and have more physical energy when we are not resisting and trying to maintain everything. Your thoughts are positive so is your energy.

You are less negative, more tolerant, having more fun and more fun loving. You can enjoy better health, better relationships with family and friends and associates. You can devote more time to that which is truly important. There is far less to argue about and divide you from others. You may become more loving and have a greater ability to be loved because you let go and accept others for who they are.

When we let go of how others and the world is wrong; when we drop intolerance for positions other than are own; when we are able to embrace new ideas and people and include more in are life incredible things happen. We find more friends and fellowship.

When we get entrenched and spend out energy defending our positions we are wasting energy. It isn’t worth it. Instead, we conserve and direct our energy, we focus it in beneficial ways.

We can all point to someone we think is closed minded. Don’t be just like that person! Be open. Accept and embrace that person and allow that person to be who s/he is.

If that person never comes around to your way of thinking so what? What is the worst that can happen? Can you love and accept that person anyways? Go on give it a try! And while you are at it love, accept and embrace yourself!” Rex Sikes

Imagine how wonderful today can be!

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Dream Big: Don’t Let The Details Stop You!

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“What do successful people have in common? What is their mind set and behaviors? Why do they succeed while others don’t? Is there a difference between them and the other people?

Can you do what they do to get the results they have? Yes absolutely!

It is important to know what you want and to dream big.

Know your definite chief purpose and develop a burning desire or passion for it’s fulfillment.

Dream big and keep the dream before you in your minds’s eye. Think about it day and night. What consumes you controls you.

Don’t fret about the details.

Do not get caught up in the how. Do not let not knowing how you might accomplish it stop you from going after it. Go after it.

Go as far as you can go and when you get there you will see farther. Enjoy your dream. Make it fun and delightful to make it happen.

What you think about you  become.

What you focus on you get. What you think about you bring about. So imagine your big dream as already completed.

Imagine what it is like to be there already. How does it feel to have made it happen? Enjoy these feelings! Let these feelings move you forward.

If life were perfect how would it feel?

How would it feel to be, do and have everything you want? Don’t just answer, ‘it’d feel great!’ FEEL IT!

Accentuate and savor the feelings. Live these feelings again and again each day. Let them drive you. This is what you want after all. You want to feel more of this. THIS, these feeling is what it is about.

Never get hung up in the details when you can feel this way.

The details will resolve themselves and you will find a way. You will develop a plan for making your dream come true.

The the more you keep it alive in your mind the more it will become clear to you. Follow your plan as it unfolds. You don’t need plans to be perfect or in their entirety the entire plan prior to beginning because plans change.

All people who succeed big pursue their dreams

People who succeed pursue their dreams and work their plans. The are dedicated and on target but flexible to change their plans along the way. The persist and adapt.

They never give up they just adjust as needed. They never let a detail stop them from getting what they want. It never occurs to them that they won’t succeed.

Read biographies of top achievers

Read the biographies of those who succeed and you will begin to see the elements they share in common. I share these here in these blog pages for you to read and re-read.

Successful people keep the big picture in mind and never let the specifics deter them. The goal is getting to the destination not how they are going to get there. Keep this in mind!

As for the journey delight in it.

Keep this in mind too! Delight in not knowing. It gives you opportunity to trust yourself and know that you are moving forward anyway.

Celebrate that good things are coming and happening to you even if you don’t know when or how. Have fun on the journey and delight in all things. When you get there you will see farther.” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

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How To Become A Real Winner

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invest in yourself

“What do you think and believe before going into your day? When you get up in the morning do you expect it to be a good or not so good day? Do expect to find smiles mostly or frowns?

Do you plan to be delighted or disappointed? When you play a game do you expect to win or to lose? What do you anticipate? What do you think and believe before going into it?

Do you expect traffic to be a bear or do you expect to enjoy the drive regardless? Do you expect to encounter friendly people and co-workers or ones who aggravate? Do you think of the world as a friendly wonderful place or a hard, cold, cruel one?

Will you profit during a bad economy or lose money? Are you going to book the role in that play or movie or will someone else? Are you going to do your best or not?

Your Expectations Set The Frame

According to researchers much of what happens is due to what we expect to happen. What we believe, think or expect shapes how we react or respond to that ‘reality’ out there. They also suggest that much of that outer reality is actually a reflection of what we do inside our minds. Our perceptions create our reality.

In other words, what we expect to find we may find. What we don’t expect to find we most likely won’t encounter. Yes, there may always be some surprises.

When you feel positive and expect that you are going to win you are much more likely to. When you feel positive and expect to have a great day it makes all the difference in how you experience the day.

When you are positive that you will accomplish your goal; you know in your heart and mind it is possible to do so and you anticipate making it happen, you are much more likely to.

Expect To Win

Our mindset is comprised of our beliefs of what we think is possible or not. It is made up of our attitude whether positive or negative. It is determined by our thoughts whether we think something will be easy or hard.

Positive thinking IS about finding a mindset that serves you well and helps you to feel better. The higher quality your thoughts the better you feel. The better you feel the more you can accomplish.

When you expect or anticipate the outcome you are seeing it in your mind happening as you want it to happen. You imagine it as already already done. You have it ! You see yourself winning. You see yourself as having won.

Your brain knows the outcome you desire and what to do about it when you repeatedly give it the same strong message and images over and over. That is why positively charged emotional repetition is important. Your brain accepts your feelings and images as real.

It knows how to align your inner resources for you to do your best. Your thoughts, feelings and behaviors all work together for that outcome. You are congruent. There is no worry, no doubt or fear, no split in your attention. You are of one mind – the winning mind.

It is easier to win if you expect to win. WHEN you EXPECT to win you already KNOW you are going to win. Your focus is not on winning, because that is a ‘given’, but on doing what is necessary to insure the win.

Your expectations set the frame for you to behave appropriately, to carry out the activities, in alignment with what you expect.

You can expect to win and still lose but at least you will have tried your best. Focusing on ‘I am going to lose, we are going to lose’ insures the inevitable. Focusing on what you need to do to win, knowing you are able to, makes it much more likely that you will.

If you know you can win; if you never quit but  keep on going you will.

How You Begin Winning

Use Directed Questions™ to fill your mind with positive power and energy. Direct your mind repeatedly to what it is you want. Fill your mind with questions that lead you to where you want to go. Questions are powerful because your mind continues to work on them after you ask them and it IS the natural way our minds work.

Use affirmations Affirm it to yourself. Repeat over and over that you are a winner (or whatever it is you want). Develop 5 or 10 that you repeatedly chant while feeling the best you can. Say them out load enthusiastically and powerfully. Feel wonderful while you do. Think about them when you can’t say them out loud.

Make Positive Mental Movies Make positive movies and pictures in your head and review these again. See yourself  looking, feeling and doing what  you want to be doing. Imagine the outcome you want as though you already have it. See, hear, feel everything you doing and how are you feeling when you ‘got it’. See, it, feel it, hear it.

Read and Listen to  inspirational and motivational material each day. Read whatever you are able to read. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. It is better to read less material more frequently than too much too little of the time. Read at least a page a day.

Practice Gratitude! Be grateful for where you are at. Be grateful for the progress you make. Be grateful for the challenges (muscles grow because of opposition, use the challenges as learning experiences). Celebrate and be grateful for everything. It improves your attitude and opens you up to more opportunity.

Isn’t It Difficult

Won’t it be hard? Well, if you don’t golf and you give it a try it will seem unfamiliar, difficult and you may not be very good at first. BUT if you desire to get good at golf you will do whatever it takes and you won’t stop doing those things that make you better. You will practice and play as much as you can. You will read about it watch it, get a coach and you will get better and better in time.

This is true about anything we want to do; sing, play piano, knit, ride a bike, drive, swim, play tennis, type, do mathematics, act, edit, write. It is the same process when we take control of our mind to develop a winning mindset!

Two Great Quotes

When you expect things to happen – strangely enough – they do happen. J.P. Morgan

Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you’ll be able to see farther. J.P. Morgan

You will make your dreams and your goals come about much more swiftly when all of you co-operates to bring them about. When you are congruent in your quest and all your thoughts, feelings, talents, and abilities, your resources, are aligned.

When you are of one powerful mindset, one determined attitude, you are unstoppable. You will keep going until you have what you want. The more you do, the further you go, the more you are able to do and the more you can keep on going,

Do whatever you can, even a little bit each day, to develop your attitude and turn yourself into a Can Do person and you will be surprised at how quickly it all takes hold.

Consistent, positive, correct repetition will develop the skills and habits you need to become a full time winner. Begin today and get a jump on making your dreams come true!” Rex Sikes

Have a fantastic day!

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Do This Whenever You Feel Upset, Down And Out! It Helps!

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many present impossibilities will be future realities

“Does it sometimes seem no matter what you do things just won’t work? Do you ever just feel down and out? When you feel bad have you noticed what you think and do that makes you feel worse? If so, you need to make an immediate change even when you may not feel like it.

Doing the same thing over and over but hoping for a different result has been called the definition of insanity because it is. We tend to drive ourselves crazy that way. We want it different and we want a change but we do nothing to make it different, we change nothing, but still hope it is different. THIS is wishing and magical thinking.

Somehow, we hope someone or something will come and rescue us. That magically the events or circumstances will change. THIS is a victim mentality. Instead of taking charge and changing things to make them better we do nothing to improve the situation but we complain about it and feel bad about it.

If You Want Your Life To Change Life You Must Change Some Things

One of the powerful ways to make certain things will be different is to watch what you say to yourself. Literally, become aware of your self-talk; the thoughts you say inside our head and out loud. Be aware of what you are seeing and imagining; picturing inside your minds that you react to.

We all have automatic habitual ways of talking to ourselves in less than gloriously when things get tough. We may even have chronic bad thinking which insures that things never actually get much better. With poor thinking we just live in some less than glorious holding pattern.

What we say to ourselves, what we think, governs how we feel and behave. We are either inspired and motivated or fatigued and defeated. Our attitude determines what we can and will do. If we speak poorly to ourselves we will get poor results. It will not be any other way. Most of us are aren’t aware of how negative we actually are.

Yes, we know some of the negative talk but most of it, because it is habitual, happens outside our awareness. This is why we need to become aware of what we are saying on the inside and the outside too. As we become aware we can make a real and significant difference. How readily do you complain to others?

You can change this! The key is to manage your self-talk and make it positively influence you. To do this it is necessary to replace a bad habit with a good one. Yes, it may seem difficult but if you do nothing you are can be assured that nothing will change. We can make positive thinking and self talk automatic! Wouldn’t that be nice?

You  Need To Watch What You Say To Yourself

You need to watch what you say to others about yourself! Watch the words that you speak. When you talk to yourself and others about yourself always talk in positive terms. Remember, I have said in previous blogs only speak that which blesses, heals and prospers.

Never let the situation, events or others have the upper hand by speaking negatively about yourself or them. Never describe or talk about negative situations because you only reinforce them when you do.

Always speak encouraging, positive, nurturing words to and about yourself. Say positive things you can repeat through out the day. Repeat them, again and again.

Repeat Positive Thoughts, Directed Questions™ And Affirmations Throughout The Day

While it may take some time to get the hang of this, or for you to see or feel the results, the longer you put off doing this the longer you remain the same. If you want your life to change you have to change things in your life.

You can’t do the same things and expect things to be different. When you truly decide to take charge and be responsible for what you think and do everything in your life can change for the better.

More to come! In my upcoming blog posts I’ll share with you more examples of Directed Questions™ and powerful affirmative statements you can utilize to change how you feel and how you think. It is important to take hold of the mechanisms within you that allow you to excel and accomplish you goals and dreams. Re-read previous posts!

One of the easiest and simplest ways to initiate change for yourself is through the use of Directed Questions™. As I previously mentioned these direct your mind without encountering resistance.

After all, it is something you are wondering about so you aren’t creating any conflict. Directed Questions™ grease the wheel and are an excellent way to begin.

The Way To Feeling And Being Better Is Already Within You

You have everything you need inside. The deception we have all bought into is that help comes from the outside. We think money, friends, a better job, car or home, will make us happy. We put our faith in things or in pills and bottles when we should put our faith in ourselves. YOU are resourceful, whether you currently know it or not!

Faith in things outside of you won’t help but faith in yourself will! You may not see it yet because of years of previous conditioning. You may even approach these concepts through your old habitual thinking. How else could you unless you decide to make a change?

You Want A Better Life Ask Yourself Better Questions

Learn to control your thoughts and feelings and life will be so much more. Even when troubled times arise you will be better equipped to handle them. You will create and attract and discover more wonderful times too. You will steer your mental ship where you want to go successfully navigating all waters.

We become what we think about day and night. We operate from what consumes us and occupies our mind. You want different results the first step is you need to decide to think differently. You need to decide and then do! You need to act and follow through on your new decision. Do you want your life to be marvelous?

You will live more fully and enjoy more opportunity and advantages than you may have ever known. Begin today. Decide today. Nothing will change without your decision. Make it now! Begin to live well! Live the way you are meant to!” Rex Sikes

What can you do right now to make today incredible?

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Do This Whenever You Are Nervous: It Will Help Immensely!

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fun to do the impossible

“Do you ever get nervous in public? Do you have difficulty speaking or performing in front of others? Are you afraid to meet new people? Perhaps, sometimes you are just jittery what can be done about it?

Since we are on the subject of Directed Questions™ and how we can direct the mind in useful ways to get the desired results or outcomes we want I thought I would share this article I published years ago.

Originally, it was a post to a Inet group. I was writing to help someone overcome performance jitters or anxiety around being in front of a group of people or an audience.

I work with actors, speakers, attorneys, doctors, educators and people from all walks of life. As I recall, this was a magician but this process, my method, applies to everything we do. I hope you enjoy this article. I hope you will begin using Directed Questions™ to make an incredible difference for yourself.

First Performance Jitters

By Rex Sikes

You are getting some good advice here from fellow performers, know your routine well, jitters are normal, etc. All sound advice. Heed it.

What I additionally do is ask myself positive productive questions which lead my mind in the direction I want it to go in.

‘For example, I ask myself questions like ‘Just how surprised and delighted I will be to discover myself having a marvelous time?’

‘In how many different ways can I discover myself delighted and excited at having the opportunity to perform?’

‘How much fun can I stand and in how many ways will I find myself enthused?’

‘How easily can I discover my sense of humor (or whatever) and how much I love performing?’

‘In how many different ways can I excite and entertain the audience, and have them have fun and enjoyment?’

‘In how many different ways can I feel and express my enthusiasm for entertaining?’

‘How quickly will I discover an ever increasing sense of confidence arising in me to the point where I feel totally incredible about this wonderful opportunity to amaze and delight strangers?’

‘How many new friends can I make as a result of this opportunity?’

These are just a few brief sample questions you can ask yourself – or develop your own.

I use questions like these questions to fill my mind. You see when you ask a question your mind goes in search of an answer. It knows what to look for since we grow up asking questions. The problem with most of us is that we have asked crappie questions of ourselves and others.

So I use good positive questions to stimulate my mind to search for answers which I already presuppose to be there. (understanding language presuppositions which occur naturally in English or any native speaker’s language is most beneficial).

For example, I already assume to have a delightful experience. The question I ask is ‘how quickly I can recognize the delight? OR ‘in how many ways I will discover myself feeling delighted or find myself thinking positive happy thoughts?’

OR ‘what is the first thing I will appreciate about myself when I discover myself already behaving in that fashion, or will I tell myself when I suddenly find that I have behaved in that fashion?’ ‘Where will I feel the delight most in my head, heart, chest etc.?’

I presuppose (or assume) I will have it then I ask how I will manifest it or recognize it or act, speak, think or see regarding it.

In other words, I want to get my brain to work for me. I want to say things like ‘I wonder how quickly I will realize how excited I am’ (rather than I’m nervous). Notice also I am not make affirmations – in other words I am not claiming something to be the case when it is not – I am posing questions in a particular fashion, which directs the mind and doesn’t set up conflicts with what you know to be true.

For example, some people make affirmations like “I am my ideal weight’ when clearly they are not and everything including the mirror tells them otherwise. However, if you ask ‘How quickly can I discover myself maintaining my ideal weight, losing weight easily and enjoying all the right foods in the right amounts?’

AND ‘How happy will I be to discover myself just naturally eating healthier and shedding the pounds?’ your brain doesn’t know the exact answer, and you haven’t given it anything to conflict with. You have simply lead it along the lines with least resistance.

The cool part about brains is they really do look for the answers when questions are asked. So I use my brain to program the behaviors I want. Including calm relaxed confidence, quite assurance and the energetic and dynamic appeal needed for entertaining maximally.

Now notice I didn’t ask a question searching for a particular answer such as ‘what is the capital of Montana’ or ‘on what day at what time will all this make sense to me?’

I ask questions in an open ended fashion, like – ‘even though I don’t feel totally comfortable with this yet, how quickly can I begin to discover myself beginning to relax and feel calm and confident?’ AND ‘where can I begin to put my attention which will be most useful for me in discovering how truly talented I really am?’

‘How quickly can I begin to find myself truly recognizing just how wonderful I am and how lucky I am to be able to share myself and my talents with an audience of twenty or thirty friends?’

See again, I lead my mind where I want it to go and then I fill it with these positive thoughts morning, noon and night AND especially when driving.

I have been doing this for close to twenty years so for me it has been second nature for nearly as long.

I also use my quiet time (or else I purposely make some quiet time 3 – 5 minutes at a time a few times through out the day) to imagine or picture what I want happening, beginning to see myself behaving in the manner I wish to behave in and then ask myself questions about ‘how quickly I can already find myself behaving like this?’, AND ‘what I will see, hear or tell myself or feel as I continue to successfully engage in these positive behaviors?’

Now it is important to do this throughout the days in advance of when you need it. Repeatedly fill your mind with powerful positively phrased questions and positive internal imagery and wonderfully positive feelings of anticipating doing well, even beyond your wildest expectations.

Continue to practice your routines and let the questions and mental work you do make you excited about the event. Remember, you have the opportunity to dazzle new found friends and acquaintances. It is really a marvelous opportunity.

There is much I do for myself and as a performance coach. People who have used and tested my methods do exceedingly well. And I have years and years of very happy satisfied people who have learned to run their own brains to benefit them in powerful ways.

So take all the good advice, use it, practice your routine, fill your mind with useful positive thoughts and go out there and give them one heck of an incredible performance!!!!

Be well and enjoy!!! Rex Sikes
Whether or not you perform professionally as an actor, comedian, magician, acrobat, public speaker or not you can use Directed Questions™ to help you in whatever you want to do.

Whether it is feel happier, get some rest, be more confident, have more energy, eat right, maintain your ideal weight, save more money WHATEVER it is you want you can use Directed Questions™ to help make your dreams and goals come true. SO, why not discover how incredibly powerful these questions are when you begin today? Rex Sikes”

How surprised and delighted might you be to discover the many magical moments that make up today?

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