Category Archives: Positive Affirmations

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Do You Ever Get Hooked Bad? How To Get Unhooked!

June 1, 2015 rexsikes Leave a comment

“What do you do when you get caught up? Something happens and it bursts your positive bubble. Your momentum is thrown off, the apple cart upset. How do you react? How should you? How could you? Is there a better way to behave when when s–t hits the fan?

First, to ‘get caught up’ is an apt description. We get caught, hooked just like a fish. We think things are great and the next thing you know we swallowed a big hook. That sucks! What do we do?

We do whatever it is we do. Nature takes its course. We may get angry even while knowing it would be best not to. We may do things against our better judgement and against our own best interests. It happens. Sometimes we react without thinking and sometimes we react while thinking we ought to be doing something else.

We are hot and bothered but not in the good way. We are hurting, angry, scared, lashing out. We are desperate and convinced the world is ending or at least turing bad on this very point. We are absolutely hooked and we are reacting automatically. Again, we are caught up in it.

Whatever it is triggered a response from us. An unwanted, painful uncomfortable response. Maybe we yelled at ourselves. Perhaps, we shouted at a loved one or co-worker. We created pain for others too. Why not? Maybe they hurt us first? Right? Wrong!

Nothing justifies a poor, bad or negative reaction. There is no excuse for yelling at ourself or others. However, if that is what happen that is what happened. I will come back to this in a moment. The first thing is to acknowledge, whenever you become aware, is that you reacted as you did. Accept responsibility and realize you did as you did.

The truth is you went haywire. You lost control. You fought or fought back. Whatever it is accept it. There are consequences to our actions. For every cause there is an equal and opposite effect. You may have started other wheels spinning or like dominos you just knocked over the very first one.

Ok, that is what was, and what might be. First, accept responsibility without blaming yourself for your reaction. YOU reacted. YOU lost control. Sad to say so but that is what happened. Accept it without shaming yourself. That won’t help you end that issue.

Accept you behaved poorly, acknowledge it, and turn your attention to how you could have behaved or responded better or more appropriately. What could you have done differently, even though you didn’t?

Figure out what the most positive response is that could benefit everyone in a positive and productive way. How might you have behaved that could have kept things in check (possibly) instead of them rampaging out of control?

In order to behave better in the future you have to know what behavior you want instead. YOU just got slammed right in the face big time with the behavior you don’t want. Consider it a godsend. Pretend someone somewhere, the universe is sending you an incredible message and opportunity.

Your hot, negative, unwanted thoughts, feeling and behaviors are all exactly what you don’t want. Hopefully, the messenger gets through because the messenger tells you, ‘okay that happened, own up to it, make restitution, and NOW focus on what you DO want instead.’

You reacted instead of responded. You reacted to whatever the circumstances dictated and you fell victim to it. Hey, we all do it so blame is not the name of this game. Get over yourself. Determine your positive course, the positive thoughts, feelings, behaviors and results you want in your future instead.

The first key in getting unhooked is to notice that YOU got hooked. Then, once you notice it, you do what you need to to get unhooked. In the human’s case we need to focus on what we want and where we want to end up instead. We want more productive responses next time.

There are many ways to do this I will discuss in future blogs. We can use our imagination, our internal movie theater, self-talk, affirmations, Directed Questions™ and more for just this sort of thing.

My point is this: We evolve ourselves. In evolution somethings take time. Some things take repeated examples or exposures. Some lessons it seems we have to learn again and again until we eventually get it. AND THAT IS OKAY! That is just the way it is.

We may want it to be different. We may wish it were like all the promises the media makes for instant relief and magic gadgets but life is more like a flowering garden. Beautiful things just take some time to appear. We grow, adapt, and evolve.

So again no blame, no shame. The best thing you can do is acknowledge your reaction and pat yourself on the back and hope you will notice the next ones too. Praise yourself not for your reaction but for you becoming aware that you reacted and were focused on what you did not want. This provides you a choice point and the opportunity to change.

This increases the likelihood that you will become aware and notice quicker in future episodes because you aren’t punishing yourself. No one likes that. Well, at least fewer people do. Awareness is the doorway that opens for you to find new opportunity. Validate your awareness and it willingly works to benefit you.

Determine to respond better in the future. Again, I’ll share more later but if you read my blog regularly there are lots of tips and secrets and practices and principles you can apply right now to begin doing that.

Own your reaction. Take responsibility. Make an apology genuinely and promise to never do that again. Do whatever must be done to correct any wrong doing or harm. Help provide healing. Sometimes that means walking away too and leaving the other person alone if they request that. Be respectful!

That last point is an important one for behavior in the world. Walk away.

‘When we ‘react’ it causes pain because it is a ‘knee jerk’. It means we have no choice. We actually do have choice but it happens so fast or things start snowballing out of control that it seems as if we don’t and we can’t help it.

We always have choice and the choice point is right smack in the beginning. Something happens outside of us or within us to set it off. Things start happening. There is actually a sequence. It may seem one moment we are fine and the next we flew of the handle but there is an actual sequence of events that happen in real time.

Neurons fire. Neural pathways are activated. Signals are sent Hormones and chemicals are released. Our body is preparing for FIGHT OR FLIGHT!

In jungle days with real world predators we needed this to run very fast or fight very strong to survive. We need it much more rarely in our modern world and we don’t need it when most arguments ensue.

BUT IT IS THERE anyway. To serve us. Because we think we are being threatened when in fact we are, but not in that life-threatening way. We need to learn to better respond and adapt to our circumstances than be walking around as jungle cave people in the 21st century. Don’t you think?

Because there is a sequence it takes time. YES, it happens very fast. REALLY really fast. BUT you can still catch it. THAT is precisely why we want to encourage our awarenesses. We want to become aware as it is happening that there is something WE CAN DO instead.

We can actually divert the behavior into new more productive behaviors and new neural pathways.

We just have to catch the moment first. AT the very instant of the trigger, we are caught unawares, and then the body takes over and begins to release chemicals. As these chemicals and the neurons begin traveling their routes we feel the changes.

Maybe we get ‘hot under the collar’ or ‘red in the face’ maybe we ‘see red’ or feel tension increase. Anything, any way you describe it, is possible.

The point is to become aware as this happens. As the chemicals release its called Emotional Flooding. We get flooded with feelings and sensations. IF we notice them, again the reason awareness is important, we can change them right then. We have this choice brief choice point to give us time or room to respond differently.

Imagine for a moment you are at the top of a hill with a huge boulder. You are in front of it. It begins to roll down hill. ALL you have to do is put your arm out and you can stop it from rolling. You really can. The reason you can stop it is that it just began. You caught it right in the beginning.

It didn’t have time to build momentum. Had you been four or five feet away, or ten or more you would not be able to stop it at all. You would have to jump aside. It has too much momentum by then. It is the same with our emotions flooding us. If we catch them right at the beginning we can be different. IT can be different.

This flooding seems fast and is because the neural pathways have been traveled countless times before. They are well worn and utilized. In order to change we have to provide new pathways. It will take awhile for them to get well worn in too. Still, we do have choice.

Awareness is the first step. The second is to decide to choose what else to do instead. One of the best things to make habit is to take a very deep breath. Breath. Breath again. Breathing helps to change what is happening in the body. So does pacing or walking as long as you don’t use the walking to build momentum.

Take a deep breath. Change your body posture. Move, walk, don’t remain in the same place. Keep breathing slowly. EMT’s are known to have a person walk off the adrenaline when in an accident or a near miss.

When the flooding happens people get jittery as the chemical floods into the system. You can’t get rid of it, you can’t just dump it. but you can use it in a managed activity. Walking. You could skip or dance but on the street they also are concerned with safety. So move calmly and breath to better utilize what the body is giving you.

Take a breath. Create that pause in the flood. Use your own body to stop the momentum and you prevent the emotional boulder from shooting down the hill. You can stop the flooding. It can be done. You divert it into a more productive and less destructive path.

Choice is important. When you make a decision you can change your thoughts and feelings to respond in a more beneficial manner for yourself and others. You can choose to walk away from the fight.

It may not seem like it now but you really can. You can choose to do nothing at all. It does not, necessarily, require that anything be done just because you got hot.

When you create the pause, the gap, that room, you can begin to see that this is true. You don’t have to continue on you can respond differently!

The only way to decide differently is to create that space by making the pause happen. You create the pause, which slows the flood, you positively manage the resulting emotions converting them into other relaxed responses. You get your head clear.

You are creating new neural pathways. You are changing the old route to a new one. The result is the same as when you moved to a new residence. You have a different address. You end up in a different place.

You pause, (breath and move and continue to) you relax, let go, and continue as needed. You direct your mind to more useful places, thoughts and behaviors (Directed Questions™ were created for this).

YOU chose a new more productive, positive, useful response. It could be anything. As long as it isn’t the old one and it is positive and constructive you are doing yourself a great service.

You have just stopped the emotional flooding, got unhooked and created a new neural pathway to travel to a new address. Fantastic! Celebrate and be grateful!

Appreciate that you have taken control instead of being a victim of your own chemistry and emotions. You determined you were going to re-route them. Pat yourself on the back!

Just as when you actually move from one address to a new address you may, from time to time, discover yourself taking the old way to the old home. This can happen with behaviors too. In time, by taking the new route to the new place enough times you make it a well worn pathway.

You have lost nothing. You can still always find your way to the former residence, if you were to choose to. You haven’t lost anything, you aren’t deprived of anything. What changed is you have a new, more useful productive, constructive pathway to a beautiful new residence.

Travel there happily. You find you don’t even think about the old route but you could if you wanted to. How cool is all of this? Pretty wonderful, if you ask me. You always have choices available.

In the next blog I will share with you a ways to wire this in. The one after that I’ll discuss developing a new mindset to give yourself new choices. Meanwhile celebrate and enjoy!” Rex Sikes

Find delight in your day and night!

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How To Stop Brain From F’ing You Up

May 28, 2015 rexsikes 1 Comment

“Who do you imagine yourself to be? What do you say about who you are? What do you think and say and imagine about what you have done, can do, and will accomplish? What you think about you bring about! What are you thinking and saying about yourself to yourself and others throughout each day of your life? Whatever it is you can bet you are fulfilling it.

If you want to make permanent, positive changes, easily, then you need to work with the system. What you have been affirming all your life may be the reason you have been stuck. Those limiting ‘I’ statements we say to ourselves and others keep us the same. What you hold in your head you will hold in your hand!

Thanks for joining me for Part 2. Continued From Previous Post: If Your Computer Is Sabotaging You; Fix It!

See Yourself As You Wish To Be ‘As If’ You Already Are

Maltz suggested we spend time each day visualizing ourselves as we wish to be. He had specific recommendations that included imaging our goals as already complete. See ourselves as we would be if we right now had those changes. We should visualize ourselves as having already made the changes we want to make. We should see the end result.

Imagine your life and actions in as much detail as possible, as it would be, if you were precisely the way you hope you will be. Imagine it ‘as if’ the change has already been made and you are living as you hope to. Inside your head, live, think and act as if that future you is right now.

I have shared with you previous blogs why this works. The brain can’t tell the difference between an imagined image and a real one on the outside. I have shared with you the research. It would be well worth it to go back through my blogs and re-read as many as you can. Study these principles and practices daily and you will make your dreams come true!

Spend time imagining what you want each day, morning and night. Imagine it as already accomplished and enjoy the feelings that accompany this. These wonderful, powerful feelings combined with the new imagery informs the unconscious, our subconscious servo mechanism (servant mind,) that THIS is what we want.

Maltz, leaders of the New Thought Movement, ancient philosophers and practitioners also prescribed this. While this may be new to you or some people today, it has been around working forever. The sad truth is that few apply it. I hope you won’t be one to pass up having everything you want in life for the reasons we are discussing here.

Earl NIghtengale referred to it as ‘the strangest secret’ because as he pointed out, it is not secret at all. These working principles are well known but few ever apply them. That secret is: you become what you think about most during your day and night. The secret is hidden in plain view.

Strong, Intense Emotions Run The Show

Visualization, combined with intense positive emotion, repeated again and again brings about the change. You must be consistent and persistent and not waiver or give up. We bring about what we think about. The more passionate, the greater the desire, the more intense the feelings the stronger the message signal.

I have shared how our less than glorious emotions run the show because of their intensity. When we are angry, raging, fearful or sad, when we worry and doubt these bring us more of the same because what we focus on we get back.

Powerful emotions drive the subconscious. Powerful emotions combined with what we focus on, whether we focus intentionally on what we want, or unintentionally on what we don’t want, cause us to get back more of the same. The signal value is high. This is the language the subconscious understand and replicates. The language IS powerful emotions combined with images in our head.

The subconscious only knows to give you more of the same. Whatever you are feeding it the subconscious gives back. Positive or negative. Wanted or unwanted.The key to getting what you want is intention. You intend to get positive results BY focusing on what you want and enhancing your positive thoughts and feelings! The more you feel good as you think about yourself now and in the future the more that is the present and future you get back.

Imagine how you want to be, feel, do and what you want to have as if it has already come true. This is important because if you imagine it in the future, out there, it will stay in the future. Someday never comes. Our subconscious works to make it happen as we imagine it. FEEL IT FULLY! Embrace the positive feelings.

Since we can’t imagine every detail, I like to include a disclaimer that I think and repeat. ‘this or something better’ because I am completely into being happily surprised. By repeating it over and over in your inner movie theater combined with strong positive ‘feel good’ feelings you deliver the message to the subconscious which ultimately receives the signal, the message and acts on it.

Change Your Self Image And You Can Change Your Habits

In this manner you develop the habits and behaviors in alignment with your new self image. The results of intentional visualization combined with strong intense positive feelings repeated over and over is the message, you want, gets through through to the subconscious and we then begin to think, feel and behave consistent with our new self imagine.

As you begin to change the inner image you speak to yourself more positively. Your self-talk becomes nicer and more inspiring. You begin to think in terms of yourself as an ‘I can learn to do anything’ type of person.

You become a ‘can do’ person. You learn you can change anything inside you AND when you change the inner you – you realize you can change anything outside yourself as well. Use your self-talk wisely. Speak only to bless, heal and prosper. Stop blaming and criticizing and making excuses for yourself.

You’ll see new advantages and opportunities you may have missed before. You become alert to them because now you see in new ways. The inside changes first. You make new connections and form new neural pathways. You are evolving your brain and yourself.

Your self image determines what you become. The outer matches the inner. If your inner world is impoverished your outer world will be too. If your inner world sucks the results you get will suck as well. It takes a wake up call to change.

Sometimes, you just get sick and tired of being sick and tired. Sometimes, it is a large upheaval in a person’s life that causes the individual to snap into ‘I have to change’ mode. Sometimes, it is just a review of what your life has been or is like.

As Above So Below; As Within So Without

If your outer circumstances suck change your inner world! Change what you have been doing and you will begin to notice things in your life changing. Begin from within. Change your inner vision and you will change your world as you see yourself.

As you become a new person within the outer world conforms to your self image of yourself. You fix the outer world by first fixing the inner world.

Self Image and habits go together. Change your Self Image and your behaviors change to be consistent with the new you. As you repeat the new behaviors they become new positive habits. As you develop the new positive habits you become more confident and competent and this reinforces the new positive Self Image. You really do evolve yourself!

If you don’t see yourself happy, wealthy or successful you won’t ever develop those behaviors as long as you don’t see it. However, as you being to see yourself as happy, wealthy and successful and you feel it within and you believe it; and you move through the world with these thoughts and feelings you begin to behave in happier, healthier, wealthier and more successful ways.

You bring about the outer change by having changed the inner. Maltz, Hill, Wattles, and so many others before them, and since them encourage you to make yourself and your life what you want it to be. No one can do it for you. You may have adopted the image of yourself and the beliefs you grew up with from others but you don’t have to keep any you don’t want. Those have brought you to today!

Today, the decision is yours. Only you can improve your own Self Image. Only you can make your mind, your thoughts and your imagination work for you. End the limitations, learn to be free. Enjoy a new day and a new life when you decided to take charge. Update the computer and get it working for you automatically instead of against you!” Rex Sikes

Thrill yourself with all good things!

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If Your Personal Computer Is Sabotaging You; Fix It!

May 27, 2015 rexsikes 1 Comment

“Have you tried to make a change and found it difficult? Perhaps, it worked for awhile but then you reverted back to the old issue? Even though you may have promised yourself ‘this time will be different’ it wasn’t very long until it was back the same? If you answered yes to these questions you may need to look at self image.

People think or verbalize statement such as ‘that is just not me’ or ‘I would never wear that’ or ‘i can’t stop eating’ or ‘I just have a lot of nervous energy’ or ‘I could never do that’ and more. Many more! These ARE affirmations of our self image. NO they aren’t Positive Affirmations.

Careful, You Are Already Using Affirmations

No, they are not the kind we talk about when we say you need to repeat affirmations for success but they work exactly the same way. We already DO think and repeat these over and over again just as we are encouraged to do with the Positive kind! We live these daily.

These self image affirmations we utter work to keep us consistent. They work to keep us consistently the person we say we are. Who we are is a result of the self image we maintain. They affirm what we are like and what we can and can’t do. These thoughts and utterances of ours affirm our boundaries. They work REALLY well!

They maintain our limits. We have an internal image of who we are and what we are capable of and what we deserve in life that we live from and fulfill. We produce or don’t produce results consistent with who we are and what this image of ourself is.

We won’t do anything inconsistent with our self image. When we do try to change behaviors we find it difficult because we are attempting to do something ‘unlike’ us. We tend to think of ourselves as a smart or dumb person, fat or thin, happy or unhappy, successful or not, rich or poor, easy going or not… The list goes on.

Become Aware Of All Your ‘I’ Statements

We can get a clue as to what our self image actually is by paying attention to our thoughts, these notions about ourself, and the utterances or exclamations we make during the day. When times are good and when times are rough ‘we show up’. If we pay attention we can begin to get a sense of who we are on the inside.

We have a composite of images, sounds and feelings of who we are and who we are not. We can even look at our own internal images on our own inner movie screen and see who we think we are. Who and what do we represent ourself to be inside our head?

From the dawn of time, ancient practitioner of these arts have attempted to get us to maintain a positive self image and move beyond our boundaries into happiness, well-being and success. Some have used their approaches with incredible results!

Maxwell Maltz was a plastic surgeon who, because of his work making people pretty and repairing damaged looks, began to explore this area. He did this because people surprised him. An unhappy patient would come to him desperately wanting to look a certain way. He’d provide it but the person remained unhappy.

At first he was confounded. He wanted to know how this was possible. Though they didn’t exist, as we know them today, it was as if an internal computer was running the show. Whatever the programmed software was dictated the results one gets. Today, we know the results you get on a computer ARE determined by what the software is programmed to do.

Self Image Runs The Show

He provides numerous examples in his books. What he discovered was his patients had an internal picture, an image of who they were. Regardless of the outer change they lived from the one inside their heads. The internal image, this self image, runs the show just as a computer does. Whatever is within is what gets output consistently.

Maltz began to explore what people were doing and what they could do differently in their imagination to get what they wanted. As a doctor and businessman he wanted satisfied and happy patients.

His works have sold steadily since 1960. He became a mojor proponent of personal change and development. His break through book was called Psycho Cybernetics. It is as relevant today as it was back then. You can find it and read it. Read it over and over!

He proffered that behaviors stem from our self image. This is the mental picture we have created of ourself. Many people attempt to change behaviors but find this nearly impossible because the behaviors they want to change are automated habits.

Maltz’s patients wanted to become happy by changing their appearance. This rarely worked because they (we) have a persistent automated self image. In order for their lives to be happy (our lives to be happy) they had to work (we have to work) on the inner person before anything else.

There Is An Order To Positive Change; A Recipe

Maltz reasoned that most people encounter difficulty because they put the cart before the horse. They tried to change the behaviors first and that should not be the first order of business. Imagine a ladder with self image at the top run and behaviors further down on the rungs.

In order to change these behaviors Maltz stated you first had to change the mental image. Once you change your internal picture of self your behaviors can change. You change your personality, your self image and your behaviors change because a self image change is a higher order change. It governs the rest.

We know that thought precedes action. To change our feelings and behaviors we must first change our thoughts. Humans have not accomplished or built anything that they first didn’t create inside their heads and then build with their hands. Our own personal changes are accomplished the same way.

If we want to succeed in the outer world we must first succeed in our inner world. Who and what we think we are determines how we feel about ourselves and what we will do to achieve our dreams (assuming we have dreams). If we want to be happy in life we must first be happy within. ‘As within. So without. As above. So Below’ is an ancient principle.

Join me in my next blog! I’ll continue to share what Maltz and other thoughts leaders insist will get you the most change in the least time in the easiest fashion. When you know how to work with your own system it is much easier. There are precise things you and I can do to be, do and have anything we want in life. Join me next time and spread the word Life is and can be glorious for you!” Rex Sikes

Have a remarkable day! See you tomorrow.

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Do This One Tiny Change And You Can Move Mountains!

May 25, 2015 rexsikes Leave a comment

“Some people think in order to make positive, permanent, pervasive, change that they must change everything at once in order to get anything at all. That is just not true. What is true is you must change something but you don’t need an entire make over.

You have heard me say, or you have read in my writings a favorite quote, ‘drop by drop fills the tub’. Or I ask, how do you eat and elephant? Answer, ‘Bite by bite’. You know the famous quote, ‘A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step’.

Small changes can be powerful. When NASA shoots a rocket to the moon its internal guidance correction system is making micro corrections all the while to keep it on course. That’s because if the rocket blasts off and is 1/10 of 1% off course near the time of lift off within a short while it will be hundreds of thousands, even millions of miles off course.

If you were driving straight in the salt flats and you turned your wheel just a tiny bit and locked it in right there soon you would be miles and miles away from the straight line you were traveling in. That small adjustment takes you way off in another direction.

So it is true if you are aiming at a target destination and you get off course by only the tiniest little bit you will be off course by a lot very soon.

The other truth is if you want to change your life it only takes a little bit of change to make a serious amount of large change. That tiny correction you make will take you very far in improving your life.

You exclaim, ‘I don’t have the time, the energy or the money to make changes right now!’ That is okay. Make one small change you can stick with and you will be amazed with the results you can get.

Whatever it is. Perhaps, it is dedicating yourself to reading a page or more of inspirational material each and every day when you get up. That isn’t much to commit to. 1 single page. Certainly, you could do more if you want but you could do at least a page.

Maybe you decide to listen to inspirational audio while you drive. That’s a great time to listen to motivational inspiring speakers. It is also a great time to shout out with enthusiasm your daily affirmations. It’s an excellent time for either or for both.

Or, you decide to spend 5 minutes focused on your goals first thing in the morning when you get up. You visualize yourself seeing yourself as already having all the changes you want. You imagine living and behaving in that positive reality.

Perhaps, you spend 5 minutes laughing when you arise. 5 minutes non-stop laughing. Or you laugh during your drive. You could commit to smiling more though out the day. Maybe, you commit to doing things each day that put a smile on someone else’s face.

You might decide to spice up your life by trying new things. You use your opposite hand to eat, shave, comb your hair. You drive different ways to school or work. You walk places you have never been. You sleep with your head at the foot of the bed. Anything!

You keep a journal of all you are grateful for and as you list each thing you real spend a moment feeling the wonderful feelings. You decide to be nicer to the people around you.

You pay attention and really listen to people to understand. You monitor and manage your self-talk for a certain amount of time during the day. You meditate for 5, 20, 30 minutes a day.

You make it a point to stop complaining and blaming and you only speak about those things that uplift and make you and others feel good. You accentuate the positive. You speak only to bless, heal and prosper yourself and others.

You don’t have to do all of these.You could. Certainly they are all manageable. But don’t bite off more than you can chew.

Pick one and commit to doing for no less than 30 days and perhaps a whole lot more. You will be surprised at what a difference it can make.

A little change, like a little faith, can move mountains.

Maybe, as you go along you discover you want to and can add in other things. DO whatever pleases you and makes you feel wonderful.

But if you do nothing nothing will change.” Rex Sikes

Fill your day with delight!

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Are You Headed In The Wrong Direction? How You Can Tell!

May 16, 2015 rexsikes Leave a comment

“How can you tell if you are moving in the right direction? Why is being focused on what you want such an issue? How come you can’t focus on what you don’t want or nothing at all? What about luck? Isn’t it possible to make it without all this positive mind thinking stuff?

Some people think this way. They have reasons for not thinking positive. They want to do it their way. If they are getting the results they want to get and are happy with their lives more power to them. I have no argument with that.

The Issue Is What You Focus On

The problem for most of us is this. If you think, ‘I hate it here’ that thought doesn’t tell you where else would be better. It only keeps you locked into what is uncomfortable. It focuses you on what you do not like now.

It doesn’t help you to see what might be better now or in the future. It gets you no closer to your goals nor does it provide any direction for you to get them. If you are focused on what you don’t want you are not headed in the right direction.

When you catch yourself doing this, ask yourself, ‘where else would I rather be?’ Then focus on the answer you get. Discover your destination. Choose it! Then you can ask ‘why do I want to be there? ‘or ‘why do I want this?’ and that will help get you the reasons and the motivations. (more on the power of why in a future blog post).

If you ask, ‘how can I get there’ you may get the answer or you may not know it yet. That is okay. Ultimately, you will develop a plan. Knowing where you want to be and why are actually a very good start. It gives you direction and reasons for moving ahead.

Brains Target Results – Learn To Use This

Brains move in a direction. Your mind moves in a direction. It targets and goes after what you want if you train it to go after what you want. Otherwise, it will go after whatever has the highest emotional signal value. Whatever you think about most during your day.

If what you don’t want looms up in front of you and you intensely react with fear or loathing your brain will get it for you. It doesn’t know not to. It understands powerful images and feelings. It targets them and works to get more of them.

If on the other hand what you want is powerful and you feel intensely good feelings it will go after that. It doesn’t know not to because it targets based on what you hold in your mind and what you intensely feel.

The cool part is being positive and feeling positive feels better for you. SO you get what you want while enjoying the feelings. This is reason enough to think positive, don’t you think?

However, if you go back and forth you get mixed results. If you want it but doubt it your brain starts and stops. You focus on what you want and then don’t want, then want, your brain tries to give you each and you end up stuck with poor results. You have to choose!

If You Do Nothing Nothing Will Change

You can hope you get there. You can wish. You can wait for something to change. You can rely on luck to help out. You could do nothing at all and remain where you are ‘hating it’, OR you can decide what you want is to not be stuck and do whatever it takes to travel to where you want. You must decide!

You know what you didn’t want. You knew what you hated. This provided the impetus for you to change. The bad thoughts and feelings alerted you that you were in a place you did not want to be.

If you use these feelings correctly they help you to clarify what you DO want so you can move away from what you hate and begin getting what you want. It helps you moved from stuck to action.

Clarify And Visualize What You Want

Now stay focused on what it is you want. Imagine what you want clearly in your mind’s eye, in your mental movie theater. See it as if you already have what you want. Imagine how good this feels. Stay with the feelings. Emphasize them. Allow them to grow. Really feel them!

See it as vividly as you can. Imagine looking out through your own eyes and seeing this world from your point of view. You are living your dreams. You have what you want. What are you seeing? What are you hearing? What are you feeling? What are you experiencing?

How To Target And Visualize

As an example, if you imagined yourself in a new home. What does it feel like to live there? What’s it like to walk from room to room? What do you see? How are the rooms decorated and furnished? This is your home see it in detail. Inside and outside? What kind of car is in the driveway? What’s the landscaping like? Who lives there with you?

Imagine what you say to yourself when you have what you want, what do you hear? Enjoy all these incredible feelings? Perhaps, there are smells associated with this home, enjoy them. Make it as real as possible as if you can reach out and touch it.

Use Affirmations Keep It Positive

Affirm this! Keep your self-talk positive? See this in your mind again and again. What we are consumed with we create. What we think about we bring about. What we hold in our head first we can some day hold in our hand. Ask Directed Questions™.

Visualize it day and night. There are two ways to imagine it. You can see yourself over there in the house and watch yourself walk through it. You can see how you behave in your home. This is great. Let it inspire you! Also, you can imagine it from your point of view as I previously described. BOTH are fantastic and powerful.

You can keep a vision board and get pictures of your home. You can tour homes with real estate agents and take your a picture of the home you want. AND take pictures with YOU IN the type of home you want. DO whatever you can to make the images real to you.

It Is Okay If You Don’t Have A Plan Yet

You may not yet know how you are going to make this happen and that is okay. Keep focused on what you want. Keep savoring the wonderful feelings. The more intensely you feel these as you imagine having it the more your subconscious works on it. You will develop a plan. You may want to set a realistic deadline date, or not.

In the meantime, enjoy it. Be grateful for everything. Feel passionate about the home. Know it is coming. Expect it. Think ‘I am creating this or something better!’ Allow for something even better than what you have created to be yours. Be willing to be surprised!

Be Committed And You Will Get Results

You don’t really get anywhere because YOU aren’t COMMITTED to any one direction. To get what you want you must be focused on what you want to the exclusion of all else. Keep your eye on the prize no matter what it takes or how long. Dedicate yourself!

Don’t compare, now to then. Don’t let not having it presently keep you from not having it in the future. Don’t be wishy washy, don’t go back and forth. Focus on what you want. Intend it! Create it! Make it happen! Have backbone more than wishbone. Persist in your pursuit.

Do not focus on what you don’t want. Learn the art of self control. Stay with your goal. Know what you want and imagine getting it and having it. Learn to manage your thoughts and feelings and make them work for you. Either YOU are in charge of your thoughts or your thoughts are in charge of you. Decide which it is going to be!

The key is to turn completely away from the negative and toward the positive. DO not let present circumstances dissuade you from your goal. Do not let obstacles distract you. Keep focused on creating what you want. What you think about you bring about!

You always get results! You always get results, intended or otherwise. You want to get intended results, don’t you? Then you must know what you want. You must know where you want to go. This is the necessary first step in the journey. Then you must commit to making it happen.

If you don’t know what you want or where you want to get how do you expect to ever have it or get there? Clarify your goals and dreams today!” Rex Sikes

This is YOUR day!

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How To Become A Real Winner

May 10, 2015 rexsikes 4 Comments

“What do you think and believe before going into your day? When you get up in the morning do you expect it to be a good or not so good day? Do expect to find smiles mostly or frowns?

Do you plan to be delighted or disappointed? When you play a game do you expect to win or to lose? What do you anticipate? What do you think and believe before going into it?

Do you expect traffic to be a bear or do you expect to enjoy the drive regardless? Do you expect to encounter friendly people and co-workers or ones who aggravate? Do you think of the world as a friendly wonderful place or a hard, cold, cruel one?

Will you profit during a bad economy or lose money? Are you going to book the role in that play or movie or will someone else? Are you going to do your best or not?

Your Expectations Set The Frame

According to researchers much of what happens is due to what we expect to happen. What we believe, think or expect shapes how we react or respond to that ‘reality’ out there. They also suggest that much of that outer reality is actually a reflection of what we do inside our minds. Our perceptions create our reality.

In other words, what we expect to find we may find. What we don’t expect to find we most likely won’t encounter. Yes, there may always be some surprises.

When you feel positive and expect that you are going to win you are much more likely to. When you feel positive and expect to have a great day it makes all the difference in how you experience the day.

When you are positive that you will accomplish your goal; you know in your heart and mind it is possible to do so and you anticipate making it happen, you are much more likely to.

Expect To Win

Our mindset is comprised of our beliefs of what we think is possible or not. It is made up of our attitude whether positive or negative. It is determined by our thoughts whether we think something will be easy or hard.

Positive thinking IS about finding a mindset that serves you well and helps you to feel better. The higher quality your thoughts the better you feel. The better you feel the more you can accomplish.

When you expect or anticipate the outcome you are seeing it in your mind happening as you want it to happen. You imagine it as already already done. You have it ! You see yourself winning. You see yourself as having won.

Your brain knows the outcome you desire and what to do about it when you repeatedly give it the same strong message and images over and over. That is why positively charged emotional repetition is important. Your brain accepts your feelings and images as real.

It knows how to align your inner resources for you to do your best. Your thoughts, feelings and behaviors all work together for that outcome. You are congruent. There is no worry, no doubt or fear, no split in your attention. You are of one mind – the winning mind.

It is easier to win if you expect to win. WHEN you EXPECT to win you already KNOW you are going to win. Your focus is not on winning, because that is a ‘given’, but on doing what is necessary to insure the win.

Your expectations set the frame for you to behave appropriately, to carry out the activities, in alignment with what you expect.

You can expect to win and still lose but at least you will have tried your best. Focusing on ‘I am going to lose, we are going to lose’ insures the inevitable. Focusing on what you need to do to win, knowing you are able to, makes it much more likely that you will.

If you know you can win; if you never quit but keep on going you will.

How You Begin Winning

Use Directed Questions™ to fill your mind with positive power and energy. Direct your mind repeatedly to what it is you want. Fill your mind with questions that lead you to where you want to go. Questions are powerful because your mind continues to work on them after you ask them and it IS the natural way our minds work.

Use affirmations Affirm it to yourself. Repeat over and over that you are a winner (or whatever it is you want). Develop 5 or 10 that you repeatedly chant while feeling the best you can. Say them out load enthusiastically and powerfully. Feel wonderful while you do. Think about them when you can’t say them out loud.

Make Positive Mental Movies Make positive movies and pictures in your head and review these again. See yourself looking, feeling and doing what you want to be doing. Imagine the outcome you want as though you already have it. See, hear, feel everything you doing and how are you feeling when you ‘got it’. See, it, feel it, hear it.

Read and Listen to inspirational and motivational material each day. Read whatever you are able to read. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. It is better to read less material more frequently than too much too little of the time. Read at least a page a day.

Practice Gratitude! Be grateful for where you are at. Be grateful for the progress you make. Be grateful for the challenges (muscles grow because of opposition, use the challenges as learning experiences). Celebrate and be grateful for everything. It improves your attitude and opens you up to more opportunity.

Isn’t It Difficult

Won’t it be hard? Well, if you don’t golf and you give it a try it will seem unfamiliar, difficult and you may not be very good at first. BUT if you desire to get good at golf you will do whatever it takes and you won’t stop doing those things that make you better. You will practice and play as much as you can. You will read about it watch it, get a coach and you will get better and better in time.

This is true about anything we want to do; sing, play piano, knit, ride a bike, drive, swim, play tennis, type, do mathematics, act, edit, write. It is the same process when we take control of our mind to develop a winning mindset!

Two Great Quotes

When you expect things to happen – strangely enough – they do happen. J.P. Morgan

Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you’ll be able to see farther. J.P. Morgan

You will make your dreams and your goals come about much more swiftly when all of you co-operates to bring them about. When you are congruent in your quest and all your thoughts, feelings, talents, and abilities, your resources, are aligned.

When you are of one powerful mindset, one determined attitude, you are unstoppable. You will keep going until you have what you want. The more you do, the further you go, the more you are able to do and the more you can keep on going,

Do whatever you can, even a little bit each day, to develop your attitude and turn yourself into a Can Do person and you will be surprised at how quickly it all takes hold.

Consistent, positive, correct repetition will develop the skills and habits you need to become a full time winner. Begin today and get a jump on making your dreams come true!” Rex Sikes

Have a fantastic day!

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Do This: You Must Speak This Way To Get Everything You Want!

May 9, 2015 rexsikes 1 Comment

“How you say things to others does matter, right? There are ways you can talk to someone that increases the likelihood you might get your way or what you want from them and then there are ways that decrease that likelihood, wouldn’t you agree? How you speak and how you approach someone matters, don’t you think?

Then why would be any different when we speak to ourselves? There are ways we can speak to insure we get what we want. There also are ways of speaking to ourselves to insure we won’t get what we want. This makes sense, right?

Speak Positively: Say What You Want

The best way to get what you want it to speak in positive terms. Phrase your language positively. Instead of pointing out what you don’t want point out what you do want.

Perhaps, you have heard this example. When you tell a child ‘don’t spill your milk’ what is the internal mental image the child has to make? The child sees herself spilling the milk.

Then what typically happens? What do you follow up with saying to the child? You typically say, ‘I told you not to spill your milk!’ Right? Because shortly after you said ‘don’t spill’ the child did.

If you tell someone, ‘don’t get mad at me’ what do they usually do? When you say ‘you never listen to me’ does it really help much. My guess, is at that point they start talking about how they do listen.

It is the same as with the example, ‘don’t think of an elephant’. Your mind responds to the language but doesn’t process the word don’t. It doesn’t take it as a command to NOT do something, it only understands what to do, ‘think of elephant’; ‘spill milk’; ‘never listen’.

It Matters What We Think And Say

How we say things to others matters! What we say to ourselves matters too! If you say, ‘don’t forget to pick up bread on the way home’ you forget just as easily as your partner does.

One way to combat this is to express both sides. If you catch yourself saying, ‘don’t forget’ then add ‘remember to get it’. ‘Don’t spill! Carry it carefully.’ This way the picture in their mind or yours is what you want it to be. You want them and you to picture what you want to have occur.

Brains work this way. They delete the negative words and take the rest as a command. This is why we need to focus on what we want and to state things in the positive. This is why we want to think positively. So that we get more of what we want to be, do and have!

While it is true that consciously you know what is meant by ‘don’t spill’ and you can successfully over ride the command and the internal image or representation to spill it, you still had to represent it to yourself. Your mind still made the pictures of you spilling it.

Your conscious mind is tiny by comparison to your unconscious, or subconscious, or other than conscious mind. You don’t want to fill your larger powerful subconscious mind with images of what you don’t want to happen for any reason. NO you want to fill this powerful mind with what you do want to happen! Get it?

Fill Your Subconscious With What You Want

You want to fill your subconscious mind with what you want to happen because your subconscious mind is a ‘servant mechanism’ or servo-mechanism. The main task it has IS to carry out and fulfill the commands you give it. What are you giving it most of the time?

Are you giving it what you want so it can bring you more of what you want OR are you mostly focused on what you don’t want; fear, negativity, worry, lack, not having enough to make ends meet etc.

What you give it to work on it will deliver! Whichever dog you feed will live. You either plant food or poison. It is either positive or negative. Which energy ball is larger? Your positive ball of energy or your negative one? (see previous blogs for some of these references).

Phrase your language in the positive. Instead of saying, ‘don’t be late’ say ‘please be on time’. Get it? Instead of saying, ‘I’ll never lose weight’ say ‘I can eat healthy foods and feel proud.’ or ‘The more healthy I eat the more I feel great’. or ‘I can reach my ideal weight through right eating and exercising and feeling good’.

When you speak to yourself and others don’t blame, criticize or whine. Don’t point out what is wrong, what you don’t like or don’t want. Look for what is good and what is right, what you enjoy, what you want more of.

Speak Only To Bless, Heal And Prosper

Point out these things. Always speak only to bless, heal and prosper others and yourself. Keep you talk with others and your self-talk positive.

Tell your brain precisely what you want it to do, to pay attention to and to give you more of. Direct it positively by using positive language. Direct it by telling it what you do want. This is what affirmations are about.

Make the right mental images in your head so your brain knows what you want it to do. DO it over and over again until it becomes an automatic habit, second nature so you don’t have to think about it. Then you will be creating more of what you want more of the time and less of what you don’t want less of the time.

Do you get it? You become what you think about most often! You get what you focus on. What you think about you bring about. The dog you feed is the dog that lives! You reap what you sow. If you plant images in your head of what you don’t want and then you get that you really shouldn’t be surprised or dismayed.

Own Your Mind Own Your Behavior

Take control of your own mind and behavior. Put a guard before your lips and be careful what you think and say to yourself and others. Whatever you are thinking about and talking about you are bringing about. You are always creating!

So if you don’t like what you have, where you are at, your circumstances or results you need to change what you are doing, saying and focused on to get the ones you do want.

Don’t delay Do it today! See how that works? Both sides represented. Always remember to direct your mind toward what you want it to do. Keep it simple.

As you would speak to a child;’walk carefully’. You wouldn’t say ‘navigate well the horrendous pitfalls along the walkway maintaining your balance by placing your center of gravity in such a way…’ you would say, ‘walk carefully’, or ‘walk tall’ or ‘stand up straight’ or ‘smile more’. or ‘think happy thoughts’. Keep it simple.

Be direct! Be positive. Speak in positive terms. Think positive. Fill your mind and hours with positivity and notice how wonderful your life becomes. Pay attention and delight in all the good things you notice. Celebrate and be filled with gratitude and your life will become beyond amazing!” Rex Sikes

How incredible can this day be?

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Do This If The Results You Get Suck: Do This To Win!

May 8, 2015 rexsikes 1 Comment

“Why do I repeat themes in blogs? Why should you re-read inspirational material? Why look at posters and keep motivational sayings in your eyesight? Why repeat affirmations and positive question and make mental movies again and again? Why? Why? Why?

Skill Is Developed By Rehearsal And Practice

Because muscles grows through repetitive exercise. Skill IS developed by rehearsal and practice. Memory and learning is enhanced by repeated exposure. Habits are formed over time by repeating the same behaviors.

Some of us miss the obvious each and every time! Again and again we just don’t notice it in front of us. It is difficult in this busy age to get and keep one’s attention. Messages are repeated over and over and over again to create awareness. Once is not enough.

Imagine if the piston in your car pumped only one time and stopped. In order to move your auto’s engine has to repeat the same behavior over and over again. In order to grow and develop positive, powerful, automated habits that serve you productively you have to repeat the skill set over and over again without quitting.

So I repeat messages in a variety of ways. I repeat important themes and points and practices. This way your mind is continually bombarded, so long as you read my posts, with an important theme. You become what you think about. You get what you focus on. What you think about you bring about.

What You Rehearse And Practice Is Critical

If you are not getting what you want in life then you aren’t doing the right things to get them. If your results are not what you want, or they are poor you aren’t doing what is necessary to make them better. If you are worried, fearful, anxious or blaming, if you see lack, debt and unhappiness then you are focused on what you do not want.

What is predominant in your mind is not what you do want but what you do not like about your present circumstances. What occupies your attention isn’t all the good things, but how things aren’t right. You never become rich thinking poor thoughts. You never get happy blaming others. In order to get what you want you have to be focused mostly on what you want. That is the way it works!!!

If you are thinking about what you don’t want most of the time, out of habit, or for whatever reason, THAT IS WHAT YOU are rehearsing and practicing. The lackluster or poor or negative results are a result of what you are doing over and over again.

You are practicing. You are mentally rehearsing. You are creating and YOU are getting exactly what you don’t want because that is what you are inadvertently focused on. You may think you are focused on what you want but you aren’t.

YOU MUST REALIZE You Are Always Creating

You cannot NOT create. You may be creating what you want or what you don’t want THAT is up to what you are doing. If you don’t like what you are getting STOP doing it! Stop creating it! Stop it!

START creating what you do want! In order to do that YOU must change what you are thinking about and how you are thinking about it. If you want your life to change then you must change things in your life.

YOU must think predominantly, most all of the time, positively, about what you DO WANT in order to get what you want! You must fill your mind with what you want to be, do and have. This must become your obsession, what you think about most of the time.

Your results show you what you are focused on. If you feel less than glorious your feelings are informing you what you are focused on. If your self talk is critical of self or others, if it is blaming and negative, your self talk is telling you what you are focused on.

Only YOU Have’t Gotten The Message Yet

To change and make life better you can’t be focused on how things aren’t working well. You have to choose to think better thoughts, make better mental images, manage your self-talk and powerfully affirm positive messages and stay focused on these. You must stay focused on what you DO want NOT what you don’t want.

I want you to realize that anything you think you need to make changes you already possess within you. Yes, you may have to tap deep to find and utilize under utilized skills and resources but you already have what you need. That is great news! You have the abilities!

You may have to learn how to control your attention, take responsibility, make a decision and stick with it but those abilities are already yours. You may need to grow those muscles strong. They only grow strong through repeated use, repetition and opposition.

I remind you with these articles.

You Bring About What You Think About

I invite you to visit frequently throughout the day and read and re-read posts and blogs. Through repeated exposure you will begin to ‘get it’ if you haven’t already. Through repeated application of the principles you grow the muscles necessary to transform your life.

Transformation CAN happen in an instant! It need not take much time at all. Transformation can occur slowly over weeks, months and years. Whatever happens, however it happens, whenever it happens is completely up to you. It will happen just stick with it!

For some it will occur more quickly, for others not as fast. It doesn’t matter. Don’t compare yourself to others. That is silly. Just keep at it and have fun. Even if you change bit by bit you are changing. Have fun and delight in the process, be thrilled with your journey. Celebrate everything!

The goal is to feel good, enjoy life, live in high vibrations. Have fun, and delight. Imagine being filled with joy. Your thoughts, your beliefs, your attitudes determine whether you find blessings or not. These determine whether you feel good or not and what you will or will not do.

Transformation Can Happen In An Instant

Take control! Take responsibility. Ensure that you think and believe the very best. Make your attitude serve you and not the other way around. Take charge! Live as a champion! Live as victor. Live as a winner! Live as a person who creates what you want!

Fill your mind with powerful, inspirational, motivational thoughts and you feel better and are more productive. It works but you have to keep at it until it becomes a habit. After that you keep at it because it is habit and because you enjoy it.

Remember, the goal is to feel the best you are able to at any time. Sometimes that means out of the universe joyful bliss while at other times that means okay. Seek to feel as good as possible and you will learn to feel better and better more and more of the time.

Do not wait for it to happen. It won’t! Do not think others can do it for you. They can’t. Only you can do it and it is now or never. Some day never arrives. Magic can happen but realize you are the magician. Allow yourself to feel blessed. Allow yourself to receive good things. Get out of your own way and enjoy!

Fill Your Mind With Gratitude And Celebration

That is why I repeat over again important messages. If you haven’t taken complete charge yet, the hope is that, some day you might. You may just have to hear the message enough times to make the important decision. Then, on that day, you will.

You may have to read it many times until you finally say, ‘enough already, I am changing the way I live! I accept 100% responsibility and I am going to make the difference in my life. I am going to stop creating what I do not want and begin creating what I do want!’

In that moment, with that decision, and what happens right after that moment, your life can instantly change for the better. A decision is not an actual decision until you follow through. The second you decide and you actually act on it is when the decision is made.

THEN let nothing ever deter you from that decision. Keep at it. You can not fail you can only quit. If you never quit and you do the right things consistently long enough, soon you will have what you want.

From the very moment you act on your decision your life will begin to transform. It is absolutely so wonderful, you will be amazed and find it incredible. Celebrate!” Rex Sikes

How will you make the most of this wonderful new day?

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Do This Whenever You Feel Upset, Down And Out! It Helps!

May 5, 2015 rexsikes Leave a comment

“Does it sometimes seem no matter what you do things just won’t work? Do you ever just feel down and out? When you feel bad have you noticed what you think and do that makes you feel worse? If so, you need to make an immediate change even when you may not feel like it.

Doing the same thing over and over but hoping for a different result has been called the definition of insanity because it is. We tend to drive ourselves crazy that way. We want it different and we want a change but we do nothing to make it different, we change nothing, but still hope it is different. THIS is wishing and magical thinking.

Somehow, we hope someone or something will come and rescue us. That magically the events or circumstances will change. THIS is a victim mentality. Instead of taking charge and changing things to make them better we do nothing to improve the situation but we complain about it and feel bad about it.

If You Want Your Life To Change Life You Must Change Some Things

One of the powerful ways to make certain things will be different is to watch what you say to yourself. Literally, become aware of your self-talk; the thoughts you say inside our head and out loud. Be aware of what you are seeing and imagining; picturing inside your minds that you react to.

We all have automatic habitual ways of talking to ourselves in less than gloriously when things get tough. We may even have chronic bad thinking which insures that things never actually get much better. With poor thinking we just live in some less than glorious holding pattern.

What we say to ourselves, what we think, governs how we feel and behave. We are either inspired and motivated or fatigued and defeated. Our attitude determines what we can and will do. If we speak poorly to ourselves we will get poor results. It will not be any other way. Most of us are aren’t aware of how negative we actually are.

Yes, we know some of the negative talk but most of it, because it is habitual, happens outside our awareness. This is why we need to become aware of what we are saying on the inside and the outside too. As we become aware we can make a real and significant difference. How readily do you complain to others?

You can change this! The key is to manage your self-talk and make it positively influence you. To do this it is necessary to replace a bad habit with a good one. Yes, it may seem difficult but if you do nothing you are can be assured that nothing will change. We can make positive thinking and self talk automatic! Wouldn’t that be nice?

You Need To Watch What You Say To Yourself

You need to watch what you say to others about yourself! Watch the words that you speak. When you talk to yourself and others about yourself always talk in positive terms. Remember, I have said in previous blogs only speak that which blesses, heals and prospers.

Never let the situation, events or others have the upper hand by speaking negatively about yourself or them. Never describe or talk about negative situations because you only reinforce them when you do.

Always speak encouraging, positive, nurturing words to and about yourself. Say positive things you can repeat through out the day. Repeat them, again and again.

Repeat Positive Thoughts, Directed Questions™ And Affirmations Throughout The Day

While it may take some time to get the hang of this, or for you to see or feel the results, the longer you put off doing this the longer you remain the same. If you want your life to change you have to change things in your life.

You can’t do the same things and expect things to be different. When you truly decide to take charge and be responsible for what you think and do everything in your life can change for the better.

More to come! In my upcoming blog posts I’ll share with you more examples of Directed Questions™ and powerful affirmative statements you can utilize to change how you feel and how you think. It is important to take hold of the mechanisms within you that allow you to excel and accomplish you goals and dreams. Re-read previous posts!

One of the easiest and simplest ways to initiate change for yourself is through the use of Directed Questions™. As I previously mentioned these direct your mind without encountering resistance.

After all, it is something you are wondering about so you aren’t creating any conflict. Directed Questions™ grease the wheel and are an excellent way to begin.

The Way To Feeling And Being Better Is Already Within You

You have everything you need inside. The deception we have all bought into is that help comes from the outside. We think money, friends, a better job, car or home, will make us happy. We put our faith in things or in pills and bottles when we should put our faith in ourselves. YOU are resourceful, whether you currently know it or not!

Faith in things outside of you won’t help but faith in yourself will! You may not see it yet because of years of previous conditioning. You may even approach these concepts through your old habitual thinking. How else could you unless you decide to make a change?

You Want A Better Life Ask Yourself Better Questions

Learn to control your thoughts and feelings and life will be so much more. Even when troubled times arise you will be better equipped to handle them. You will create and attract and discover more wonderful times too. You will steer your mental ship where you want to go successfully navigating all waters.

We become what we think about day and night. We operate from what consumes us and occupies our mind. You want different results the first step is you need to decide to think differently. You need to decide and then do! You need to act and follow through on your new decision. Do you want your life to be marvelous?

You will live more fully and enjoy more opportunity and advantages than you may have ever known. Begin today. Decide today. Nothing will change without your decision. Make it now! Begin to live well! Live the way you are meant to!” Rex Sikes

What can you do right now to make today incredible?

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Affirmations, Attitude, Autosuggestion, Creating The Future, Directed Questions™, Emotions, Expectations, Focus, Habit Formation, Happiness, Mental Movie Theater, Neuro Linguistic Programming, NLP, Personal Development, Positive Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Rehearsal And Practice, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Success, Visualization

Do This Whenever You Are Nervous: It Will Help Immensely!

May 4, 2015 rexsikes 1 Comment

“Do you ever get nervous in public? Do you have difficulty speaking or performing in front of others? Are you afraid to meet new people? Perhaps, sometimes you are just jittery what can be done about it?

Since we are on the subject of Directed Questions™ and how we can direct the mind in useful ways to get the desired results or outcomes we want I thought I would share this article I published years ago.

Originally, it was a post to a Inet group. I was writing to help someone overcome performance jitters or anxiety around being in front of a group of people or an audience.

I work with actors, speakers, attorneys, doctors, educators and people from all walks of life. As I recall, this was a magician but this process, my method, applies to everything we do. I hope you enjoy this article. I hope you will begin using Directed Questions™ to make an incredible difference for yourself.

First Performance Jitters

By Rex Sikes

You are getting some good advice here from fellow performers, know your routine well, jitters are normal, etc. All sound advice. Heed it.

What I additionally do is ask myself positive productive questions which lead my mind in the direction I want it to go in.

‘For example, I ask myself questions like ‘Just how surprised and delighted I will be to discover myself having a marvelous time?’

‘In how many different ways can I discover myself delighted and excited at having the opportunity to perform?’

‘How much fun can I stand and in how many ways will I find myself enthused?’

‘How easily can I discover my sense of humor (or whatever) and how much I love performing?’

‘In how many different ways can I excite and entertain the audience, and have them have fun and enjoyment?’

‘In how many different ways can I feel and express my enthusiasm for entertaining?’

‘How quickly will I discover an ever increasing sense of confidence arising in me to the point where I feel totally incredible about this wonderful opportunity to amaze and delight strangers?’

‘How many new friends can I make as a result of this opportunity?’

These are just a few brief sample questions you can ask yourself – or develop your own.

I use questions like these questions to fill my mind. You see when you ask a question your mind goes in search of an answer. It knows what to look for since we grow up asking questions. The problem with most of us is that we have asked crappie questions of ourselves and others.

So I use good positive questions to stimulate my mind to search for answers which I already presuppose to be there. (understanding language presuppositions which occur naturally in English or any native speaker’s language is most beneficial).

For example, I already assume to have a delightful experience. The question I ask is ‘how quickly I can recognize the delight? OR ‘in how many ways I will discover myself feeling delighted or find myself thinking positive happy thoughts?’

OR ‘what is the first thing I will appreciate about myself when I discover myself already behaving in that fashion, or will I tell myself when I suddenly find that I have behaved in that fashion?’ ‘Where will I feel the delight most in my head, heart, chest etc.?’

I presuppose (or assume) I will have it then I ask how I will manifest it or recognize it or act, speak, think or see regarding it.

In other words, I want to get my brain to work for me. I want to say things like ‘I wonder how quickly I will realize how excited I am’ (rather than I’m nervous). Notice also I am not make affirmations – in other words I am not claiming something to be the case when it is not – I am posing questions in a particular fashion, which directs the mind and doesn’t set up conflicts with what you know to be true.

For example, some people make affirmations like “I am my ideal weight’ when clearly they are not and everything including the mirror tells them otherwise. However, if you ask ‘How quickly can I discover myself maintaining my ideal weight, losing weight easily and enjoying all the right foods in the right amounts?’

AND ‘How happy will I be to discover myself just naturally eating healthier and shedding the pounds?’ your brain doesn’t know the exact answer, and you haven’t given it anything to conflict with. You have simply lead it along the lines with least resistance.

The cool part about brains is they really do look for the answers when questions are asked. So I use my brain to program the behaviors I want. Including calm relaxed confidence, quite assurance and the energetic and dynamic appeal needed for entertaining maximally.

Now notice I didn’t ask a question searching for a particular answer such as ‘what is the capital of Montana’ or ‘on what day at what time will all this make sense to me?’

I ask questions in an open ended fashion, like – ‘even though I don’t feel totally comfortable with this yet, how quickly can I begin to discover myself beginning to relax and feel calm and confident?’ AND ‘where can I begin to put my attention which will be most useful for me in discovering how truly talented I really am?’

‘How quickly can I begin to find myself truly recognizing just how wonderful I am and how lucky I am to be able to share myself and my talents with an audience of twenty or thirty friends?’

See again, I lead my mind where I want it to go and then I fill it with these positive thoughts morning, noon and night AND especially when driving.

I have been doing this for close to twenty years so for me it has been second nature for nearly as long.

I also use my quiet time (or else I purposely make some quiet time 3 – 5 minutes at a time a few times through out the day) to imagine or picture what I want happening, beginning to see myself behaving in the manner I wish to behave in and then ask myself questions about ‘how quickly I can already find myself behaving like this?’, AND ‘what I will see, hear or tell myself or feel as I continue to successfully engage in these positive behaviors?’

Now it is important to do this throughout the days in advance of when you need it. Repeatedly fill your mind with powerful positively phrased questions and positive internal imagery and wonderfully positive feelings of anticipating doing well, even beyond your wildest expectations.

Continue to practice your routines and let the questions and mental work you do make you excited about the event. Remember, you have the opportunity to dazzle new found friends and acquaintances. It is really a marvelous opportunity.

There is much I do for myself and as a performance coach. People who have used and tested my methods do exceedingly well. And I have years and years of very happy satisfied people who have learned to run their own brains to benefit them in powerful ways.

So take all the good advice, use it, practice your routine, fill your mind with useful positive thoughts and go out there and give them one heck of an incredible performance!!!!

Be well and enjoy!!! Rex Sikes
Whether or not you perform professionally as an actor, comedian, magician, acrobat, public speaker or not you can use Directed Questions™ to help you in whatever you want to do.

Whether it is feel happier, get some rest, be more confident, have more energy, eat right, maintain your ideal weight, save more money WHATEVER it is you want you can use Directed Questions™ to help make your dreams and goals come true. SO, why not discover how incredibly powerful these questions are when you begin today? Rex Sikes”

How surprised and delighted might you be to discover the many magical moments that make up today?

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude! Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others. Give a gift that keeps on giving!

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