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Would You Like Your Joy To Know No Bounds?

June 13, 2015 rexsikes Leave a comment

“Research has demonstrated many times over that our beliefs and attitudes determine what we see and find in the world. Our mindset determines the results we get. What we perceive to be our reality is our reality.

Scientific research into the brain, neuroscience, our neurology, our neurological filters, consciousness, ‘the maps’ we live from verify that what we think creates our reality. Whether we enjoy the results we get or not is determined by what we think about.

Most people just don’t get this. I always maintain that the delusion IS the great illusion, or said differently, the illusion IS the delusion. Some people tend to believe that there is an outer world we must contend with. They think we don’t have choice. They insist there is only hard core reality.

Perception Is Everything

They are the type who don’t put stock in positive thinking because it didn’t work, or they haven’t actually tried it but dismiss it anyway, because they believe differently.

Because they don’t believe it works the way I have described it must work the way they believe it does. Do you get this? Either way we are discussing mindset and its effects.

Then there are those who believe that the outer reality is a reflection of our inner reality. How we perceive the world is how we experience it. Perception is everything and it frames our experience. We often find what we expect to find. Whether they believe, or even know about the science, they tend to align with the scientific thinking.

Quantum Physics describes the world in terms of participation. There is an observer who influences the process while being influenced by the process. It is one and the same with many facets that appear separate. Our universe may be holographic. It is described as a matrix or a a field with everything connected or part of each other. In the hologram the whole is contained in each piece perfectly.

If you make a holographic image on the film plate. Then shatter the plate. The entire image is contained in each and every piece without losing any of its original properties. Everything, all the information is there in each single piece. For example, if the hologram were made of the Mona Lisa every fragment would still contain the entire image of the Mona Lisa. Some researchers believe this helps explain our experience in our ‘field’ or matrix.

The Entire Whole Is Contained Within The Part

For some people the concepts are difficult to wrap their head around. Particularly, if they adhere to hard core outer reality. I find ancient philosophers and some scientists have much in common. The world, our experience of it, is a rich, varied mystery. Here is my bottom line.

I choose to believe the world is friendly. If I have choice and I can look for smiles or frowns I am going to look for smiles. If I have to find the good or the bad, well then, I am going to look for the good.

I know that if I look for smiles I will find them. I may also find a frown as well but I won’t let that bother me. Both exist and both are noticeable. If I have a say in the matter then I will chose what I think best for me. I chose to be happy, look for the good and enjoy it all.

Positive thinking doesn’t mean ignoring problems it means looking for solutions. It means finding the potential in each situation whether good or not so good. It means look at the possibilities and aim for the best outcome. I think it is very realistic and it accomplishes lots.

The World Conforms To What I Think And Say It Is

Some would say that is unrealistic and optimism is not always a good thing. I say, if I have choice I am going to choose. If I can be happy why would I ever choose to be unhappy? Some will have reasons for why they might choose unhappiness. That is their choice.

That is what they believe. I believe what we believe determines what we get. So it explains a lot. I have accomplished more in less time as a positive thinker taking responsibility for what I create and do than I ever have as a negative thinker. Positivity and Intentional Thinking leads to more productive actions.

I am 100% responsible for myself. I am 100% responsible for my thoughts, my behaviors and my circumstances. This is how I choose to live. Things from the outside may have an influence but it is up to me how I choose to respond.

I can control my thoughts therefore my feelings and behaviors. I determine my mindset. I shape my attitude and expectations. I fill my mind with the best so that my mind gives me the best. I focus on the best feelings.

What I Look For I Find

I choose to experience and savor feelings of gratitude, love, joy, peace , happiness. curiosity, wonder and amazement. I enjoy feeling eager anticipation and exhilaration. I like making things happen and discovering how things come together in surprising ways.

Birds of a feather flock together. Our brains work by association and when it finds one example it can find numerous. I want it to find more wonderful things and fewer less than glorious things so I focus on what is good and new.

I know we attract back and create more of what we put out there. We become what we think about. So I am very picky what I think about. I wasn’t always but I have learned to be and it has paid off big.

It isn’t always easy but it is within my control. It is the one thing I am able to control. I can’t and don’t control yours. I don’t make the world spin but I can have control of my thinking process. I can choose to watch it or I can choose to manipulate it.

I Control My Thoughts And My Experience

It is similar to driving in my car. I choose where I want to go and I am responsible for getting there safely. Things arise that require my attention and I may have to adjust to remain safe and remain traveling to where I want but that I can do.

Some times it is very easy. Other times it requires more effort but that is just how it is. I don’t complain or whine about it. I don’t blame myself or anyone else. When I realize I am making it tougher than it need be I adjust what I am doing and move on.

It wasn’t always like this. For much of my early life, though I started researching this around age 10, I didn’t understand it really. I immersed myself deeply but still I would describe it as dabbling. I tried things but felt I wasn’t in control. I couldn’t. Maybe others could get it to work but not me.

Year after year I sought to learn, to grow, to change, to master and yet it seemed to elude me. I went on to teach this stuff by my mid 20’s and had some success. Then one year I had a banner bad year. It looked like I might lose everything. I was consumed with thoughts of why this was happening to me. I was unlucky.

Change The Bad To The Better

I couldn’t believe how one bad thing after the other happened. At one point I woke up. I realized I have to change something because it wasn’t getting any better on its own. I had to do something! I concluded it my thinking and my attitude that was at the heart of my difficulties. My mindset was the cause of these events.

Whether that is accurate or not it gave me something to work with. I vowed to get back to my roots, to my learning, from my youth onward, and to master it. I made the decision to change my thinking and to start making good things happen instead of the bad. I was going to start getting what I wanted and put an end to getting what I didn’t want.

At the same time I didn’t want to get carried away, I wasn’t interested in ringing bells, lighting candles, hugging trees or any mystical stuff! I wanted realistic, practical, life changing power without becoming a true believer or one who mediates all day but nothing changes.

I started reading again daily. I vowed to read a chapter a day from Napoleon Hill. Wallace Wattles and other inspirational authors for at least 30 days. I would fill my mind with inspirational material. This turned out to be the wisest and the very best decision I have ever made (along with choosing to have children).

Something You Can Do That Will Make A Real Difference

I began as soon as I got up in the morning. I would read. Then during the day I would again attempt to put into practice what I learned and what these authors suggested. When I could I read some more during the day or prior to bed.

This simple commitment changed my life. One month later I was on my way to being a different person. It was uphill for certain but it made the climb easier bit by bit. My attitude was improved and I felt better. I knew I could make my life better. I knew it was up to me!

The journey became more enjoyable even as it was arduous at times. I began listening to audios too. I went back into asking myself Directed Questions™ and using affirmations correctly full time.

Day by day, minute by minute my life improved. There were times when it seemed like a long haul. There were times when shit hit the fan. There were times when I began to lose hope but I didn’t. I found a way out. I stumbled and fell but pulled myself back up again and again.

I made it a point to go back into celebration and appreciate the tough times as well as the good. Yes, I nearly gave up sometimes but being grateful for whatever I was experiencing saw me through.

Attitude And Gratitude Create Momentum

I have mentioned in previous blog posts momentum and how it can work for you or against you. I have experienced a lot of negative momentum in my life. For years now the positive momentum increases. It is such a wild joyful rife. I can literally feel it. It is so amazing!

Years later life is grand. I am pleased. I went through a rough patch for while some years ago. I got caught up for a bit, but then returned to what made a difference for me in my life. It is all good and all part of being human. I have learned to accept what is while making changes too. Sounds like a paradox but it isn’t.

I am happy. Whether the outer improves or not and it is always improving (even when it appears as if it may not be) I am very grateful and very blessed. Each moment is a moment of enjoyment and wonder. I get hooked or caught up so less frequently and if I do I account for it.

Anyone Can Do It And Succeed

I am no smarter or any more special than any one else. I have screwed up a lot in my life. I have known joys and suffering. I am just a common man on the planet BUT if I can chose to turn my life around so can anyone else. If I can do it so can you!

Anyone can change given they have reason to. If you want to you can. You can make your life wonderful. You may do it faster or slower than I did. Who cares the time it takes? What is important is to make a decision and make a commitment to and for yourself. Decide to make your life better and stick with it. Commit to it. Persist.

I have learned a better way to live. I have experienced and continue to experience a glorious way to live. I feel so blessed. BUT I didn’t always. It wasn’t until I took 100% responsibility for my life and my attitude that things transformed.

It wasn’t until I decided that I created all of my experience! When I became responsible for what I create I became free to create good things. It is the most incredible thing!

It is as if joy comes in from every direction. Yes, there are times that are more difficult but so what. There are far more times when bliss abounds. If you want a similar or even better experience than mine you can have it. I am not special in anyway. Do it today!” Rex Sikes

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Savor this day!

Enjoy what is glorious about you today!

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Don’t Blow Your Top! Do This Instead!

June 4, 2015 rexsikes 1 Comment

“If you have ever felt like you were going to blow your top and you don’t want to you can do this to calm down. Getting angry or getting angrier may not be what is most needed in the moment and you want to be able to be productive and not lose control. How do you get a grip?

When unwanted feelings arise you need to shift into neutral, create a break state, a pause and then shift direction. It is too difficult sometimes to just change. You can steer it as in Aikido. You use the energy offered and direct it elsewhere. That is what we are doing.

You Can Easily Make Changes When You Know How

Head on is too difficult. I have discussed why in previous blog posts. When the momentum is great it is hard to just stop it. You will need to do something first if you haven’t stopped it at the onset. That something you need to add in is the neutral, break state.

A neutral space makes making changes easier because you create a pause when you are being flooded with feelings. The key is to catch the emotional flooding right at the beginning.

This is important. So whenever practice becoming aware at that very moment. Still, this is so powerful you can use it anytime too.

This blog is continued from previous blogs. If you have not yet read those or done the exercises please go read those first. Spend some time developing your skills through mental rehearsal and then return to this one.

Use mental rehearsal to learn what to do when unwanted feelings arise. For example, when you drive a car you know there is a neutral position on your gear shift. In essence, you always go through neutral when you shift gears and change direction.

This exercise will have you create an important neutral space from which you can more easily and readily change. You can use it any time, anywhere, whenever you feel stressed or want to change feelings or thought direction in your mind.

Rehearse And Practice The Skill To Acquire The Skill

It is powerful and can be instantaneous. There may be times when you want to repeat it. It is simple and easy and all you have to do is remember to use it.

That is why we mentally rehearse. You travel in advance of the world so as things come up when you want to use it you will. This is the reason actors, musicians and others rehearse and athletic teams practice.

One of the most powerful tools to use when you need to change your emotional reactions so you can respond more wisely and productively is only a breath away. It is literally taking a deep breath.

A deep breath shifts so many things in your being. It changes the energy moving in your body. If you let out a sigh while breathing it is all the better. That sigh of relief, the sound accompanying the breath, enhances relaxation.

When things are getting hot and you find yourself moving in a direction you do want engage the following.

First learn it and practice it. Then use it when every you need to. Do it in everyday life as soon as possible. It will help greatly.

You Want To Create A Space, A Pause – Take A Break

Go back to another difficult time. Mild. See the events unfold. The usual sequence of events that lead up to that point where you would have gotten angry, frustrated, fearful, worried, sad, confused, overwhelmed whatever it may be.

Watch it in your mind in your mental movie theater and when you get to that point where you would lose it STOP and watch yourself take a deep breath! Then another.

Watch yourself create space by stopping and taking a deep breath. Watch yourself shift your physiology. Shift your body, alter how you stand and move. Breathe and shift. Walk it off! Take a break from your problem.

Take a pause when things start to get critical. Everything is moving along and then suddenly you are going in a direction you don’t want. STOP, take a deep breath, shift your body, walk or do something different AND CHOOSE A POSITIVE RESOURCE.

Go through this process just as described and you watch yourself get to the point where you, would have in the past behaved in less than glorious ways only this time, see yourself stop, take a deep breath, shift your physiology and behave in the new resourceful way. From start to finish. Do you like what you see?

Adjust It As Necessary

Stop and take a deep breath and add in the new resource. Realize you have new choices available to you. You you can walk it off right where you are. Manage you self talk. Say positive things. Now you can respond with positive choices. Watch it to the end and then when it finishes shake it off (literally shake yourself a bit).

Once you have recoded one experience from your past then pick at least 3 more times when you have similar response. Change those in your mind. Shake it off after each repetition of the exercise. Let’s say you do one situation 3x you shake off after each time. Then you pick another time and do it 3x with shake 3x and then the last 3x 3x.

Remember to use the shake to change your physiology and end the process. Then take a moment and go back do it again.

Seeing And Hearing And Feeling On The Inside (POV)

Use the other way of seeing and experiencing.

Rerun the process from your POV. Go back and imagine it from this vantage point. From within you can feel the feelings change as you go from the beginning to the critical moment.

Just before that less than glorious eruption you say stop (inside your head) and you feel yourself take a deep breath (and another). You sigh as you let the air out.

Feel the pause or a break in the action, create space, walk it off, manage your positive self talk and choose the resource you have been using for this.

See it, hear it, feel it! Notice how it is different. Feel the changes. Celebrate it and Live it. Then realize that is how it can be in the future. Do it again and again until you feel great about it

Then pick 3 more times when you have similar response. Change those in your mind. Remember, to shake it off after each time.

Maybe once is all you need but since we become what we think about repeat this exercise again and again. Do it daily. Remember you are learning a sequence of behaviors. You are taking charge of your mental behaviors and learning a process.

Take time to go into your past and find resources. Build your library of resources. Go into your past difficulties and change them from being a limitation into a resource. Recode the past by applying a resource where and when it was needed. You are transforming and recoding past memories.

Do you realize this about the situation you changed? That was how it was in the past. It could have been different in the past. It wasn’t you did whatever you did back then and that is okay. That was then and you did your best with what you knew.

It could have been a more resourceful time for you but it wasn’t. Accept it. BUT now you have just recoded it as more resourceful. You have imagined what it would have been like to have had that resource and how things could have been different.

SO stop now and realize you can be more resourceful in the present and the future too. You have more resources you can use when you need to.

Create The Future The Way You Want It To Be

You also are a creator. You can create. You know there may be some situations in the future that could give you difficulty because they may have in the past. These are those situations that seem to happen again and again ever so often. To begin practice pick a mild one of these. Always start with mild. Now let’s recode the future too!

Imagine, in your mental movie theater that future you. Repeat the process watching it unfold up until the point where you stop, take a deep breath and change it from being a difficulty into a resourceful moment. You repeat this exercise as the previous one doing it from start to finish and shaking it off. Repeat 3x or more. Shake it off after each time. Then repeat the process from your POV.

Do this whenever you need to get some space between you and whatever is going on. Perhaps, some driver pisses you off, change it. Take a deep breath, relax slow down, enjoy the drive. Practice this it could be really important some day.

A boss or co-worker is on your back, take a deep breath, sigh and change the energy. Take a break, go to the restroom, calm down and return. Trouble with a family member or loved one. Don’t lose your cool take a breath. Anytime and anywhere this can save the moment Use it.

Re- Cap

This process allows you to recode the past and prepare for the future. During both you search for and apply resources. During both you stop, create a break state or a pause, you use your physiology differently, and you continue forward having chosen a resource.

You are always welcome to add in more than one resource. One is usually plenty, but sometimes adding in two or three presents us with even more awareness and opportunity. So feel free to repeat the exercise (just as described) only with a new and different resource each time.

You may also magnify those feeling 2, or 3 or even 5 times in intensity. It is your mind and you can ramp it up. You already know how to make things more intense in real life. We have volume controls and dials.

You turn it up or press a button. You can do the same thing within your mental movie theater. Re-live it from your point of view and enhance and amplify the wonderful feelings! You know when you have had some energy and when you have been super charged. Pick the more intense examples to use.

Use It And Transform Your LIfe

In the real world you will behave and act more productively as this a becomes habit. Take the time to practice and make it automatic. In the coming days if you have an episode and you respond in the new way, positively, fantastic!

If you don’t and you loose control, no worries! Everyone of us can slip and fall now and then. Pat yourself on the back for becoming aware. Recognize what happened, what you might have done differently, and immediately do the mental exercise for how you’d like to be next time.

Get feedback from the situation, learn from it and continue your practice. What is awesome about the human mind is that you might start off spending 20 or 30 minutes a day, practicing for a month or more to make it a habit.

During this time frame you may be using it too. I hope so! Eventually, you will be do it in less time inside your head. Then even less time. Before long you will run the process in seconds in real life whenever you need to.

Regarding learning and practicing new skills. A flower it takes time to grow. So does a new skill. Stick with it. As you resolve these situations pick other people or situations where you don’t respond as you would like to and work on those too.

Use It Or Lose It

Soon you will have re-coded and re-routed lots of difficult situations. You will have used your mind to change your behaviors. You have taken charge so enjoy it! Celebrate it and validate it.

Any time you fall, get back up, learn from it and do the new behavior in your mind a more productive way. Recognize what you don’t want but stop focusing on it. Drop it and focus on what you do want instead. Remember, we get what we think about most!

Don’t wallow about the old address. You have moved to a new location. Aim your mind in the direction of the new one.

It’s simple to understand, You practice and rehearse what you want for the future. You use your mind the way an actor or athletic team uses rehearsal or practice time. In your mind you act as if you have all the resources you need in any situation. You imagine and act how you want to be.

Our mind doesn’t know the difference between a mental images and images seen through our eyes. That is why this works. We can create a new self image and practice new behaviors. The more you rehearse and practice the better you get. The better you get with it the more you get it in your real life

Use these processes to overcome your difficulties, and learn new ways to be. You can and will transform your life positively if you want to.

What you rehearse, fill your mind with, think about and focus on for most of your time expands. You get and become what you think about. Use your mental movie theater to bring you all sorts of wonderfulness now and in the future! Enjoy making your life more the way you want it to be. Be grateful and be glad! More to come!” Rex Sikes

Use today to live a new way!

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Act As If, Attitude, Confidence, Creating The Future, Creator, Emotions, Focus, Getting Over The Past, Habit Formation, Happiness, Mental Movie Theater, Neuro Linguistic Programming, NLP, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Rehearsal And Practice, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Success, Unlimited Power, Visualization

Use This Powerful Way To Keep From Losing It

June 3, 2015 rexsikes Leave a comment

“Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to change a moment of difficulty into a less difficult moment? If you could take a stressful situation and de-stress it would you like to be able to do that? There are ways to alter what is happening so that the outcome you get is positive instead of negative.

In this follow up blog post I’ll share with you a method. If you haven’t read the previous blog post go back and read that first. IF YOU HAVEN’T practiced what I shared with you last time spend some time doing that prior to adding in these steps. You want to build a house on a strong foundation so that it stands.

You want to build your abilities the same way. Before, anything else get used to looking for positive past experiences and re-living them. Hopefully, you have started building a library of positive resources. You have also practiced creating the future by imagining that resourceful you in times when you want to be more resourceful.

If you are a regular reader of my blog you know only a day has gone by. Keep in mind there is no rush. Practice the first part until you are facile with it. Then you can add this in. This information you read now can wait while you gain experience in the other first, but you will know the direction we are headed.

As I mentioned in the previous blog, read through this a number of times to familiarize yourself with the process. Once you get the idea of it you can do it while reading through it, or better, as I suggested you can record parts of the process and play them back slowly while you go though it. You will lead yourself through it so be sure to give yourself enough time to do everything thoroughly if you record it.

Build Skills Bit By Bit. Only Move From One Skill On After Getting Good At It

Practice what I share with you in this blog. You can do it easily in the privacy of your own home. In a short while you will notice yourself responding even more productively and positively and your life changing for the better.

Continue to make the positive changes utilizing your Inner Mental Movie Theater. Are you ready and eager to learn more? I’m going to give you some today and then more in subsequent blogs.

Determine How You’d Like To Be And Feel And Behave (Respond) In Difficult Or Less Than Glorious Situations

AT FIRST, pick a mild situation to begin. You can get to the tougher ones later. Start with easier ones while you learn the to go through this process. I mean this! Work your way up from easiest to the toughest in time. Over a period of days or weeks. Get good at the process before trying it on tougher times. Crawl before you walk!

Pick A Mild Situation To Begin With

There are times when you are simply less than glorious. Sometimes you aren’t thinking positively, you’re feeling down or upset, just not optimal.

Choose one to work with. Just one experience at a time. Be specific. Think, ‘I have difficulty when…’ and pick one. It may be in a particular situation, or with a particular person or there is some activity that gives you difficulty.

Find a time and or place where you could use a resource. Said differently, find a time in real life when you could use thinking and behaving more resourcefully.

There are moments in life when things can go any which way but instead of going how we want them to go they end up less than glorious. We loose our cool, we get frustrated or angry, we give in or give up, we cry, we shout, we say things we didn’t mean.

Instead of keeping our cool and being calm or confident we get stressed, harried, fearful or worried.

You most probably have had moments like that in the past. Pick a specific one. Chose a milder one to begin with, remember. Choose an easy one! I mean this! Crawl before you walk! Keep this in mind.

Then go back to my statement above, determine how you’d like to be and feel and behave in this situation instead of how you did in the situation. Consider what would be a more productive, positive way to behave instead of how you used to behave.

Any Resource Is Better Than No Resource

You can pick a specific resource for the situation because you think it would be better. For example, you weren’t confident and you wished you had confidence. That can make it better, yes.

That could be a good resource to have in that situation. Perhaps. A sense of humor might be a good resource to have as well. Perhaps, having the ability to laugh or be silly at that moment would have made it better. Anything is possible. Any resources can transform.

Maybe being patience, or happy or calm or curious would have been better. Curiosity, can be a great resource! The point is there is the resource we THINK would make it better when, in fact, almost any resource would have made it better. This is what is so cool!

It would not have been the difficulty it was and you would have gotten a different outcome if you’d had any number of resources available. Do you get that? There are numerous possibilities! The only limitations we have are the ones we allow. We are really only limited by what we can’t yet consider an asset or opportunity.

Had you moved into ANY other positive state than the less than glorious one you ended up with, it would led to a different outcome. Right? You understand that, don’t you? If not think about it a bit. However the situation played out, any positive resource would have made it different and somewhat better. Maybe completely better!

If it is somewhat better, that is better! So any positive new resource is better than no resource. It is NOT a matter of trying to find the ultimate, perfect resource it is a matter of choosing any resource that will lead you to a more productive outcome and get you more positive results. Do you understand this? Again, if not think about it.

Find A Positive Resource

Be free with your thinking in choosing new opportunities. Don’t be rigid, be relaxed. Open yourself up to infinite possibilities. You are still only going to choose one, or in time, a few, but you have a wide variety to choose from that will make a difference for you. At first, choose ONE to work with.

Learn and practice being more resourceful in a variety of ways. There isn’t a perfect way. There is not only one way. There are a variety of positive possibilities and you can learn and benefit from. Any one of them can lead to more glorious possibilities.

If you want to feel better you want to get feedback on how you can continue to transform your experiences for your benefit. So stay open minded and be willing to playfully explore.

Keep Light And Have Fun With This

Take it slowly and have fun. Be gentle and have fun. Be deliberate and thorough and have fun. Choose mild difficulties at first and have fun. Later move on to more difficult situations and have fun.

When you have learned and practiced and gotten good with the process you move onto larger issues in time. You still have fun because that is what you build into the process. Take it lightly even when dealing with more difficult issues.

There are those times that present us with difficulty. We didn’t behave as we knew we could, or wished we would. We want to take those less than glorious moments and transform them by adding in resources we didn’t utilize or were aware we had at the time.

We want to re-code our memories of the past to be more resourceful so we can choose to use them as resources in the present and future. That is why we spend time building and continuing to build our library of resourcefulness.

A Most Important Benefit Is You Become What You Think About

The reason why I want you to go and find all your positive times and relive those and catalog those and have experience recreating those is for you to have them available as choices whenever you may need to.

If you spend a large portion of your time devoted to finding resources and living them and creating them it makes you more resourceful. Your life will change for the better.

Utilize Any Of These Resources When Times Get Tough

A second benefit is you can utilize any of these resources more readily when times get rough if you have wired them in and made them automatic and available. What you think about you become. When you become more resourceful you can handle future difficult times better. Do you get how this works? It builds on itself.

There are times when everything goes your way. Maybe you feel on top of the world, or extra joyful. These are resources!

You got some news and you feel very happy. There are times when you simply feel fine, but more than fine. Super fine. YOU feel GOOD but not like a superhero. There are times when you feel confident, capable, certain you can do anything. Other times you feel silly or you have a sense of humor.

Still, at other times you feel relaxed, calm, peaceful or at ease. Sometimes you are concentrated and focused, sometimes playful. At times you are focused on your needs at other times you are attentive and helpful to others. All these constitute useful resources.

Re-live It: Feel Now What You Felt Then

Go back inside your mental movie theater and re-live some of these one at a time. Notice what you saw at the time, what you heard and felt that made you feel that way.

Get a sense of it as much as possible ! You can even imagine feeling it at 2, or 3 or even 5 times the intensity. You can ramp it up. Re-live it from your point of view.

Build them one by one by revisiting these memories again and again.

Watch It: Feel How Good It Feels To Be This Way (Selfie)

Imagine the other way too. See yourself in the situation (selfie) looking the way you do when you are resourceful in this fashion. How do you look, how do you use your body and move. What does your voice sound like. You can see that you (in the movie) feels great.

Feel how incredible you would feel to be this way. If everything for your future you was going right, and you were everything you wanted to be, doing what you wanted to be doing and having what you wanted to have. How would you feel? Feel that!

Enjoy these. Do this each day. Build a library of incredible feelings, talents, abilities, and resources. Let’s call them resources states.

Practice each day. Realize that whenever you remember these positive times you can feel the wonderful feelings again and again even stronger if you’d like. Strong or not isn’t the point. The point is taking time to live and feel these resources.

You Can Access or Build Past, Present And Future Resources

In order to change your response in the future you want to have one or more of these resources available when you need it. You are going to use your mental movie theater to imagine when and where and with whom you may need one or more of them.

Pay attention to what and how you behave and feel differently when you add the new resources in. First we will change the past.

Go to your mental movie theater and take up a comfortable seat. Watch this experience on your movie screen in your mind.

You are sitting in a movie theater and the screen is over there. The movie begins and you watch yourself go through the experience over there UP UNTIL the point, but not beyond, when it became a difficult situation.

You Are The Director And Editor Of Your Inner Movies

You chose a mild one because you want to be able to STOP IT from being a difficulty. You want to change the difficult moment so it no longer affects you. You want to be free so you want to stop it easily from being an issue. You are going to work as a movie editor.

Watch yourself over there on your mental movie screen in a situation leading to a less than glorious outcome. One you actually experienced in your real life past. Watch it up to, but not beyond, when it started going awry. STOP IT prior to when you behaved as you DO NOT WANT to. As it approaches slow it down and stop it.

Cut the film right there! Edit! You snip away the less than glorious reactions you had. As an editor you would throw them in a bin on the computer or let them drop on the cutting room floor. Then insert the new resourceful behavior. Paste it in at the precise point.

Paste it in so that from the critical point on you now watch yourself behaving in the situation the way you WANT TO behave. Watch the movie continue. Look at yourself, listen and notice how you feel differently.

Now you run it again from start to finish making sure you behave as you want to until the end. It begins, you watch. Watch the situation begin to turn sour but instead of succumbing to what was used to be YOU NOW think, feel and behave in the new positive way? Watch it again and again over and over. Re-live it and love it!

Notice how you look, what you sound like, what and how you say things to yourself in your head, under your breath or out loud. Notice how you move. Imagine it with as much detail as possible.

Adjust As Necessary

Do you like what you see? Do you like how you feel watching this new you? If it isn’t as good as you’d like it improve it. Add in another resource. Change it in positive direction until it is too your liking. Keep it realistic as you do. Intensify the positive feelings.

Adjust it. You want to behave more positively in the future make your inner mental movie a compelling example of you behaving that way. Tweak it. See how wonderful you look. Notice how you positively interact. Listen to the kind things you say to yourself (or others).

When it is how you like it – spend time reviewing it this way. Notice how it is different and more positive. Then realize that is how it can be in the future.

Whenever you watch your inner movie in this way you want to end it completely before you do it over again. So watch it to the end and then when it finishes shake it off (literally shake yourself a bit) or get up, move around, do a jumping jack. Anything that creates a shift.

Go inside and change a few other mildly difficult times this way. Pick 3, 6, 10 however many you wish. Practice recoding them. Review them with the new behaviors and how do you feel? Are you moving in the direction you want to move in? Is feeling good? Feeling great?

You are building and practicing a skill. If you keep at it you will build the habit of looking for resources whenever you encounter the trigger points in less than glorious situations. This is an incredible skill to have. So you want to practice a lot. Don’t believe me build it for yourself!

There is more to this process and we will add on to it. It gives you another powerful alternative way to accomplish the same end. It is a useful approach for you to learn. Practice and practice. You will be amazed at how easily you can make changes. More Next Time!” Rex Sikes

Have a majestic day!

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How To Keep Yourself From Losing It & Have A Happier Life

June 2, 2015 rexsikes Leave a comment

“Do you have any of those moments when you know you are about to lose it? You may blow your top or crumple in a heap of tears. Are there times when you realize you are worrying unnecessarily but haven’t been able to control it? Perhaps, you are stressed and overwhelmed or you got hooked into an argument and you would rather be free?

If yes, to any of these unwanted feelings, or other ones you may experience from time to time, there IS something you can do to make it different. You can make it better and even prevent it. Wouldn’t you like to know what you can do?

You can learn to be different if you will practice what I share with you in this blog.

You can do it easily in the privacy of your own home. In a short while you will notice yourself responding more productively and positively and your life changing for the better.

Sometimes, the best way to learn new methods is in seminars or workshops, or one on one, with a coach or a guide where you can practice the process in advance of needing it. Working together with someone is real hands on. That is always well worth it. By having a qualified person assist you – you can learn nuances and pay attention to elements you might otherwise miss. A great coach is great to have!

In lieu of getting training you can still make the positive changes on your own inside your Inner Mental Movie Theater. Are you ready and eager to learn how? I’m going to give you some today and then more in subsequent blogs.

Today Is The Beginning Of A Process I Share With You

Once you have all the process you may want to record it so you can follow along. Today, smart phones can come in handy this way. Read through these instructions a couple of times at least. There will be more information to record another day.

Familiarize yourself with the process. Then actually do what is being asked of you. If you only read about it and do not apply it you will not experience the benefit from it. If you don’t attempt it you will never know how powerful it can be. You have to do the work to get the results you want.

First: Determine How You’d Like To Be And Feel And Behave (Respond) In Difficult Or Less Than Glorious Situations

What do you want to be like instead of doing what you do? You might want to be confident, strong, fearless, happy, loving, silly, playful, energetic, caring, calm, relaxed, thoughtful, patient, anything that is positive for you.

There are times in your past when you have felt good this way. You can recall them, remember them in your mind, and remember the feelings. For example, when you felt happy about something. Notice the feelings, where did you feel them the strongest? Aren’t they wonderful? You feel happy!

Enjoy the feelings of when you feel happy! What are you thinking? What are you saying to yourself when you are happy? How do you think about yourself in that moment? Isn’t it wonderful to feel good? How does the world look when you are happy? Maybe a bit brighter? Notice whatever you notice when feeling happy. Linger with it. Savor it. Enjoy feeling happy.

Really take time to relive the happy part of the experience. Notice and enjoy the sights, the sounds, the feelings (even taste or smells if there are any) while feeling this resourcefulness. End it or cut it off while still feeling happy. Don’t let it fizzle out.

You want your primary attention and time spent feeling the good feelings, and letting or making the good feelings intensifying during the memory. If they start to fade or diminsh cut it off, stop it, shake it off (literally shake yourself a bit) and end it. Take a few breaths and do it again. Learn to create poignant positive moments for yourself. Bookended!

It is: Feel happy, It increases, And out!

If you were to imagine a bell curve close to the top of the bell say at 9 or 10 o’clock position would be the entry point. You feel happy. It increases or intensifies upward towards 12. Then it starts down the other side of the bell curve. Do you get it? You come in feeling happy, intensify it and exit,

Stop before it starts the downslide. This is how you teach your brain to give you what you want. You want to feel good and feel it increase. Linger in the good feelings and when the feelings begin to diminish exit. Wash, rinse repeat! Do it again!

Develop The Knack Of Re-living And Creating The Precise Moments You Want More Of

What is so amazing is you can use your mind to travel back to times, and places, and events and with people, or engaged in activities when and where you felt these positive feeling states. You can recall and re-live them all while sitting in your chair!

Just as when you are out somewhere and something triggers or jogs a memory in you and you enjoy revisiting it. You can deliberately do it. You summon it up. You go back and recall.

Think about, recall a time when or remember a specific place you felt happy. Maybe some activity you do makes you happy or a special person? Fox example, pick a specific instance of being with a person who you were happy with? What were you doing that made you feel happy? It could be anything, such as a sport, a conversation, seeing something happen, getting good news, being at a party. How the person looks at, speaks to or touches you. Anything!

People, Places, Activities, Time, or Things

To help you remember you can think of people, places, activities, things, or a time when you felt these feelings. For example, think of some activity that makes you feel good. Consider, what were you doing, who were you with, where were you?

Ask whatever questions you need to in order to recall more details from the positive memory. These questions can help make it more vivid. Ask, who, what, when, where, why and how did any of these make you feel?

Once you make this a habit you won’t have to consciously work so much. It will all come quite naturally. Search through your experiences and find them. Maybe you felt happy on a vacation. That particular place brings back happy memories. Or at home.

Any particular place, a quiet power spot no one knows about but you. Young or old. Memories from the past can be yesterday or go way, way back.

For some the smell of fresh baked bread will take them instantly to another comforting place and time. For others the smell of fresh cut grass does the same. Some people feel patriotic when they see symbols of their country. Music makes us feel many things, relaxed, loved, horny, powerful, heartbroken…

You Can And You Should Go And Find All The Wonderful Positive Memories From Your Past

You can find them. You will as you keep searching. Some are pretty available. This is an important part of self discovery and evolution.It is important to find and focus on the positive in our life more often because we become what we think about. It gives us much more to feel grateful about and celebrate.

What we think about we bring about. Birds of a feather flock together so we find that we get back more and more of what we are thinking about. Think positive!

What you are learning in this, of great importance, is that instead of remembering and reliving past disappointments and being a victim of them, or remembering past positive times with longing we can do something about it.

We don’t have to live with the hurt and the longing we can live positively happily and powerfully. We can fill our mind and being with the positive feelings, and images, and sounds of our positive experiences.

Imagine How Much More Wonderful Life Would Be If You Enjoyed More Positive moments overall.

Now you can. You can go back into your past and begin to unlock all the positive moments there are to relive and enjoy. These moments, these wonderful feelings constitute resources you can begin to use in the present and the future. You can literally transform your experience at any time.

Second: You Don’t Have To Go Back. You Can Imagine Yourself In The Future Behaving As You Want To Behave.

The ideal you! The person who has it all together. Imagine what you would look like and sound like if everything worked out well for you. You think positive, you feel awesome, and life is grand. As you imagine that notice how this makes you feel. Feel it! Enjoy the feelings!

You can pick any one of the states. Confidence, for example. Notice how you look. The look on you face. Your eyes, your smile your confident expression. Notice how you stand, move, walk and use you body to express being confident. See how you gesture while you speak confidently and with authority.

You are confident, you are self assured, certain, powerful and positive. Watch yourself, as if on a movie screen, and notice how you feel as you enjoy yourself behaving this way. Make it absolutely wonderful. Adjust it.

Make it wonderful this is you creating it. Just as an artist paints on a canvas paint a powerful mental image of you being confident (or whichever resource). It’s you mental movie make it exactly what you want it to be. Make it outstanding! After all, this is using your brain, your mind to imagine, so imagine the very best, Spend time enjoying the marvelous feelings.

Make These Inner Mind Movies Spectacular

Make them soothing if you need them to be relaxed. Joyous when happy. I’m sure you get the concept. Spend time living in this future world. Enjoy the future you in these mental movies. Enjoy the past movie memories.

Consider where you want to be like this, when, with whom, doing what? Use the questions to focus on different times and places in your near and distant future when you want to be resourceful like this. Imagine it fully.

Two Ways Of Seeing: Recalling And Creating

There is something else you may or may not be aware of. There are two ways you can create images and you can remember in your mind. You can watch an event with you in it as if you are watching a video, or selfie of yourself. You can see you and others and the location and the circumstances as a video or movie.

The second way of seeing is through your own eyes. It is your point of view (POV). You don’t see yourself but you see what you see as if in real life. For example, in the number one way of seeing you might see yourself sitting inside a new car from the outside the car on the drivers door side. Or you might see yourself through the windshield, or windscreen of the car right there with your hands on the wheel.

In the second way of seeing you are in the car, feeling what it feels to sit in the seat, comfortable or not. Leather or otherwise. You might smell the new car smell. And you would see your hands on the steering wheel and feel yourself griping it. You’d see out the windows, the dashboard and if you look down your lap and legs.

You don’t see the entire you because what you see is what you actually see in the real world when you look out of your eyes. Your Point Of View (POV).

So there are at least these two ways to see, recall and create. You want to recall your memories first however you recall them. You want to live within them and feel and see and hear everything you are able. You want to re-experience the good feelings. Then you want to do the other way.

So whether you first begin with POV or not notice it and after awhile spending time doing it this give the other way some practice time.

Repeated Correct Practice Makes A Perfect Habit

Remember, this is practice. This is how you are going to build a positive new habit. You will enjoy this habit building. You practice daily, whenever you are able, going back and finding positive times from your past and reliving them as fully as possible. Spend dedicated time doing this. Find as many as you are able. ONE at a time.

Build your mental library of resources. Spend dedicated time going into the future and imagining yourself with all the resources you want to have. One at a time. Imagine people, places, events, activities, situations where you want more of these good feelings and resources. It can be any time, not just a difficult time but wonderful times as well.

Imagine yourself living in the future positively and resourcefully. Build a library catalog of positive future resources. Spend dedicated time doing this too. Do it also whenever you can during your day. Practice both of these using both ways of seeing. Do one at a time. POV for while. The come back later and do those over again but see it as a selfie video. Practice that for while.

Eventually, you practice and do both. In doing these exercises you are building so many positive skill sets and will develop so many positive resources and habits it will amaze and delight you.

Stop! Take a breath and relax for a moment and imagine how fantastic life will be in the near, near future as you feel, think and act so much more resourcefully. Imagine how incredible you will feel as you tap into your inner resources more frequently and fill your daily moments in this way.

We Become What We Think About. What Consumes The Mind Controls Us

You now have the opportunity to become more happy, confident, peaceful, secure, loving, patient any way you’d like to be more of. You can feel anyone of these and all of them more frequently in your day to day. Isn’t that wonderful? It really is! The more time you spent recounting, re-feeling, recreating, re-experiencing positive memories and moments the more you get back.

SO keep going back and finding them. Find one, then find another one. Have fun finding out how many positive, resourceful moments you have actually had. Some will be real easy to discover, the ones you always remember, but as you continue to look back you will unlock and remember others you haven’t thought about in a long time.

Project into the future again and again in a variety of ways. Imagine your future, specific times and places and people you want to enjoy more. You want to have more fun, delight, and resourcefulness. Spread all the wonderful good resources and feelings throughout your future.

The byproduct of doing this is that more of you present gets filled with positivity as well. You live better right now too! Imagine, you go back transform your past by looking for the good in it, you feel great right now and start getting results you want and you code you future for all this goodness too. Pretty cool, wouldn’t you say?

Do All These Exercises In The Spirit Of Fun, Exploration, Adventure, And Play

Somethings may happen quickly or slowly it doesn’t matter stay with it playfully. Somethings happen instantly some take longer that is just how it is. Consider doing this as if you are planting a beautiful garden.

You plant the seeds and they take time to grow. Some come up sooner than others but eventually the garden appears. Relax, enjoy, keep practicing and let it happen. The benefits will be there.

Some things are simpler and easier than others just stick with it. Speak gently to yourself through all this as if you were a loving, compassionate coach helping you along. If things are tough they are tough no reason to get discouraged. Have fun, be patience, keep the faith and it will pay off.

My son told me today, that doing the top of the pyramid on a three high (three levels of water skiers on each others shoulders forming a pyramid) is scary. BUT he does it any way. He faces his fear and makes the climb and even while on top it is scary but exhilarating. Keep going, don’t let anything stop you.

There is noting to fear I only use that example because some people get frustrated if everything doesn’t occur over night and quit. You have to face the fact that somethings just take some time.

So if they do be prepared to hang in there. You will discover so much more delight than you can ever imagine if you make this daily ritual, a daily routine and practice.

You can’t even yet begin to appreciate how everything can and will transform when you apply yourself in this way. I’ll share more next time as we continue this exploration.” Rex Sikes

Find enjoyment everywhere you look today!

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Do You Ever Get Hooked Bad? How To Get Unhooked!

June 1, 2015 rexsikes Leave a comment

“What do you do when you get caught up? Something happens and it bursts your positive bubble. Your momentum is thrown off, the apple cart upset. How do you react? How should you? How could you? Is there a better way to behave when when s–t hits the fan?

First, to ‘get caught up’ is an apt description. We get caught, hooked just like a fish. We think things are great and the next thing you know we swallowed a big hook. That sucks! What do we do?

We do whatever it is we do. Nature takes its course. We may get angry even while knowing it would be best not to. We may do things against our better judgement and against our own best interests. It happens. Sometimes we react without thinking and sometimes we react while thinking we ought to be doing something else.

We are hot and bothered but not in the good way. We are hurting, angry, scared, lashing out. We are desperate and convinced the world is ending or at least turing bad on this very point. We are absolutely hooked and we are reacting automatically. Again, we are caught up in it.

Whatever it is triggered a response from us. An unwanted, painful uncomfortable response. Maybe we yelled at ourselves. Perhaps, we shouted at a loved one or co-worker. We created pain for others too. Why not? Maybe they hurt us first? Right? Wrong!

Nothing justifies a poor, bad or negative reaction. There is no excuse for yelling at ourself or others. However, if that is what happen that is what happened. I will come back to this in a moment. The first thing is to acknowledge, whenever you become aware, is that you reacted as you did. Accept responsibility and realize you did as you did.

The truth is you went haywire. You lost control. You fought or fought back. Whatever it is accept it. There are consequences to our actions. For every cause there is an equal and opposite effect. You may have started other wheels spinning or like dominos you just knocked over the very first one.

Ok, that is what was, and what might be. First, accept responsibility without blaming yourself for your reaction. YOU reacted. YOU lost control. Sad to say so but that is what happened. Accept it without shaming yourself. That won’t help you end that issue.

Accept you behaved poorly, acknowledge it, and turn your attention to how you could have behaved or responded better or more appropriately. What could you have done differently, even though you didn’t?

Figure out what the most positive response is that could benefit everyone in a positive and productive way. How might you have behaved that could have kept things in check (possibly) instead of them rampaging out of control?

In order to behave better in the future you have to know what behavior you want instead. YOU just got slammed right in the face big time with the behavior you don’t want. Consider it a godsend. Pretend someone somewhere, the universe is sending you an incredible message and opportunity.

Your hot, negative, unwanted thoughts, feeling and behaviors are all exactly what you don’t want. Hopefully, the messenger gets through because the messenger tells you, ‘okay that happened, own up to it, make restitution, and NOW focus on what you DO want instead.’

You reacted instead of responded. You reacted to whatever the circumstances dictated and you fell victim to it. Hey, we all do it so blame is not the name of this game. Get over yourself. Determine your positive course, the positive thoughts, feelings, behaviors and results you want in your future instead.

The first key in getting unhooked is to notice that YOU got hooked. Then, once you notice it, you do what you need to to get unhooked. In the human’s case we need to focus on what we want and where we want to end up instead. We want more productive responses next time.

There are many ways to do this I will discuss in future blogs. We can use our imagination, our internal movie theater, self-talk, affirmations, Directed Questions™ and more for just this sort of thing.

My point is this: We evolve ourselves. In evolution somethings take time. Some things take repeated examples or exposures. Some lessons it seems we have to learn again and again until we eventually get it. AND THAT IS OKAY! That is just the way it is.

We may want it to be different. We may wish it were like all the promises the media makes for instant relief and magic gadgets but life is more like a flowering garden. Beautiful things just take some time to appear. We grow, adapt, and evolve.

So again no blame, no shame. The best thing you can do is acknowledge your reaction and pat yourself on the back and hope you will notice the next ones too. Praise yourself not for your reaction but for you becoming aware that you reacted and were focused on what you did not want. This provides you a choice point and the opportunity to change.

This increases the likelihood that you will become aware and notice quicker in future episodes because you aren’t punishing yourself. No one likes that. Well, at least fewer people do. Awareness is the doorway that opens for you to find new opportunity. Validate your awareness and it willingly works to benefit you.

Determine to respond better in the future. Again, I’ll share more later but if you read my blog regularly there are lots of tips and secrets and practices and principles you can apply right now to begin doing that.

Own your reaction. Take responsibility. Make an apology genuinely and promise to never do that again. Do whatever must be done to correct any wrong doing or harm. Help provide healing. Sometimes that means walking away too and leaving the other person alone if they request that. Be respectful!

That last point is an important one for behavior in the world. Walk away.

‘When we ‘react’ it causes pain because it is a ‘knee jerk’. It means we have no choice. We actually do have choice but it happens so fast or things start snowballing out of control that it seems as if we don’t and we can’t help it.

We always have choice and the choice point is right smack in the beginning. Something happens outside of us or within us to set it off. Things start happening. There is actually a sequence. It may seem one moment we are fine and the next we flew of the handle but there is an actual sequence of events that happen in real time.

Neurons fire. Neural pathways are activated. Signals are sent Hormones and chemicals are released. Our body is preparing for FIGHT OR FLIGHT!

In jungle days with real world predators we needed this to run very fast or fight very strong to survive. We need it much more rarely in our modern world and we don’t need it when most arguments ensue.

BUT IT IS THERE anyway. To serve us. Because we think we are being threatened when in fact we are, but not in that life-threatening way. We need to learn to better respond and adapt to our circumstances than be walking around as jungle cave people in the 21st century. Don’t you think?

Because there is a sequence it takes time. YES, it happens very fast. REALLY really fast. BUT you can still catch it. THAT is precisely why we want to encourage our awarenesses. We want to become aware as it is happening that there is something WE CAN DO instead.

We can actually divert the behavior into new more productive behaviors and new neural pathways.

We just have to catch the moment first. AT the very instant of the trigger, we are caught unawares, and then the body takes over and begins to release chemicals. As these chemicals and the neurons begin traveling their routes we feel the changes.

Maybe we get ‘hot under the collar’ or ‘red in the face’ maybe we ‘see red’ or feel tension increase. Anything, any way you describe it, is possible.

The point is to become aware as this happens. As the chemicals release its called Emotional Flooding. We get flooded with feelings and sensations. IF we notice them, again the reason awareness is important, we can change them right then. We have this choice brief choice point to give us time or room to respond differently.

Imagine for a moment you are at the top of a hill with a huge boulder. You are in front of it. It begins to roll down hill. ALL you have to do is put your arm out and you can stop it from rolling. You really can. The reason you can stop it is that it just began. You caught it right in the beginning.

It didn’t have time to build momentum. Had you been four or five feet away, or ten or more you would not be able to stop it at all. You would have to jump aside. It has too much momentum by then. It is the same with our emotions flooding us. If we catch them right at the beginning we can be different. IT can be different.

This flooding seems fast and is because the neural pathways have been traveled countless times before. They are well worn and utilized. In order to change we have to provide new pathways. It will take awhile for them to get well worn in too. Still, we do have choice.

Awareness is the first step. The second is to decide to choose what else to do instead. One of the best things to make habit is to take a very deep breath. Breath. Breath again. Breathing helps to change what is happening in the body. So does pacing or walking as long as you don’t use the walking to build momentum.

Take a deep breath. Change your body posture. Move, walk, don’t remain in the same place. Keep breathing slowly. EMT’s are known to have a person walk off the adrenaline when in an accident or a near miss.

When the flooding happens people get jittery as the chemical floods into the system. You can’t get rid of it, you can’t just dump it. but you can use it in a managed activity. Walking. You could skip or dance but on the street they also are concerned with safety. So move calmly and breath to better utilize what the body is giving you.

Take a breath. Create that pause in the flood. Use your own body to stop the momentum and you prevent the emotional boulder from shooting down the hill. You can stop the flooding. It can be done. You divert it into a more productive and less destructive path.

Choice is important. When you make a decision you can change your thoughts and feelings to respond in a more beneficial manner for yourself and others. You can choose to walk away from the fight.

It may not seem like it now but you really can. You can choose to do nothing at all. It does not, necessarily, require that anything be done just because you got hot.

When you create the pause, the gap, that room, you can begin to see that this is true. You don’t have to continue on you can respond differently!

The only way to decide differently is to create that space by making the pause happen. You create the pause, which slows the flood, you positively manage the resulting emotions converting them into other relaxed responses. You get your head clear.

You are creating new neural pathways. You are changing the old route to a new one. The result is the same as when you moved to a new residence. You have a different address. You end up in a different place.

You pause, (breath and move and continue to) you relax, let go, and continue as needed. You direct your mind to more useful places, thoughts and behaviors (Directed Questions™ were created for this).

YOU chose a new more productive, positive, useful response. It could be anything. As long as it isn’t the old one and it is positive and constructive you are doing yourself a great service.

You have just stopped the emotional flooding, got unhooked and created a new neural pathway to travel to a new address. Fantastic! Celebrate and be grateful!

Appreciate that you have taken control instead of being a victim of your own chemistry and emotions. You determined you were going to re-route them. Pat yourself on the back!

Just as when you actually move from one address to a new address you may, from time to time, discover yourself taking the old way to the old home. This can happen with behaviors too. In time, by taking the new route to the new place enough times you make it a well worn pathway.

You have lost nothing. You can still always find your way to the former residence, if you were to choose to. You haven’t lost anything, you aren’t deprived of anything. What changed is you have a new, more useful productive, constructive pathway to a beautiful new residence.

Travel there happily. You find you don’t even think about the old route but you could if you wanted to. How cool is all of this? Pretty wonderful, if you ask me. You always have choices available.

In the next blog I will share with you a ways to wire this in. The one after that I’ll discuss developing a new mindset to give yourself new choices. Meanwhile celebrate and enjoy!” Rex Sikes

Find delight in your day and night!

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Perhaps The Most Important Question You Ever Ask Yourself

May 30, 2015 rexsikes 1 Comment

“As a young actor, with my buddies at the time, we entertained a question. Turns out it is a very important question. At the time we only gave lip service to it but didn’t ask it in our hearts. Maybe the others did but I certainly didn’t. It was nothing more to me than a mere intellectual curiosity.

That question was and is, ‘If your success were absolutely guaranteed 25 or more years from now. Without question, you would be then a huge star. You would have everything you want. It is yours. How would you live your life between now and then?’

(Okay – housekeeping note – this is a long one. But do please read to the end. I didn’t want to divide it into installments as I could have.)

Most of us assumed we would stay in workshops and continue the pursuit. Then after discussing the question we continued to do what a lot of actors and others do. We went on complaining about our agents, managers, the casting directors who weren’t seeing us and all the producers and directors who were missing out on our great talents.

We went to classes, those who had part time jobs did them, others worked full time while trying to pursue a career. Some married and with children some without. Juggling a career in the movie business with partner, kids and job can be quite a challenge. Being single, lonely and alone is challenging too.

It is hard in show biz and you know what, it is hard in any career. Becoming an actor, film director, producer, writer, editor and all the rest it’s tough to get in and it is tough to sustain. There is no formula you can follow out of college. Everyone succeeds is an individually unique way.

While traditional businesses offer more provincial routes to success it is not easy there either. Whether you want to be a doctor, lawyer, politician, engineer, realtor, investor, banker, fireman, educator and on and on each has there own share of difficulty and sacrifices that require making.

So back to the question regardless of what career you are in or which one you want to be in. Back to the question even if it isn’t a career that concerns you but life in general. “What would you do if happiness and success were absolutely guaranteed but not for a very long time from now? How would you live between now and then?’

Here is the reason I ask. In order to succeed in anything, the easiest way is to believe you will succeed. You have to know what you want, you have to have a burning desire for its fulfillment and you have to have faith that it is yours and on the way.

You must believe you can make it happen. These were conditions and principles put forth by Andrew Carnegie (at one time the world’s richest man) and through Napoleon Hill (the author of Think & Grow Rich) commissioned by Carnegie to study success.

Hill stated that, ‘whatever the mind of can conceive and believe can be achieved’. It begins with thought and how we manage our thought. It is brought forth by our intense feelings, our passion and desire for its attainment.

It is delivered through unrelenting faith that we will succeed no matter what obstacles rise up before us. It is ours and we will persist until we can claim it.

Said another way, ‘What we hold in our head we will some day hold in our hands’, and ‘What we think about we bring about’. I would add in, ‘what we totally feel in our hearts, all the incredible feelings’ puts the fuel in our engines to get us where we want to go.

Great, we know the formula. What does that have to do with the question. The question is what do you do between now and then when success is unconditionally guaranteed? If you believe that is true, which I did not as a young actor, I thought it was a nice, fanciful idea but nothing is guaranteed, you will operate in a particular way.

You will live from this conviction and it will shape everything you think and do. If you unquestionably know it is yours you live with the confidence that you will have it. It feels good to own it even if it takes a while to claim it. It is yours. It is a given. You are successful and happy. Why would you ever let anything rain on your parade in the meantime?

You have everything you want coming to you. Celebrate and be glad. If you compare now to then and you focus on what you don’t yet have then you get pain and end up in a world of hurt. THAT is what I did. I thought, nice idea but I am suffering and I need it now. You must not think like that!

You must focus on what you want and what you know is coming your way and not on what you don’t want and don’t have.

You will never be happy or successful focused on negativity. You won’t get rich focused on lack. You get happy and rich and successful by first being those on the inside. If you knew ultimately you would triumph why would you ever chose not to live like a successful, happy victor? You wouldn’t if you were convinced you would be, do and have everything you want.

That is Carnegie’s and Hill’s third principle. In order to be successful you must expect to be successful. You must know it in your mind and heart and soul and in every fiber of your being. You must be unstoppable and never deterred.

Every cell, every atom in you knows you will win. This is the mindset we must have to have what we want.

Instead, I focused on my bills, girlfriends or no girlfriends, not having the big home or cars as others did. I focused more on how I wasn’t working enough and how unfair it was that others got breaks that I didn’t. On and on and on it went. I was consumed by all the woe in my life. Whether actual or imagined.

So the question was posed, I thought about it and dismissed it as a curiosity. Nice to entertain but unrealistic. Yet, later I learned that Hill studied over 500 of the wealthiest, most successful powerhouses of his day and that since his work others have done similar and guess what.

Carnegie and Hill were correct. You have to know what you want. You have to feel it as already belonging to you. You have to know this and want it and feel it coming to you with your entire being! You must keep that faith. In the future you are already victorious! You will have everything you want when you truly believe it.

Decades ago I would have called that magical or mystical,fairytale thinking. Nice but cheesy. NOW I know so much better how true it actually it is. It has worked in my own life and continues to and I have seen it work, and helped make it work in countless others’ lives.

When we know what we want we determine where we want to end up. We know what the end result is. We do not yet have to know how to get there but we must know what we want to be, do and have. If we don’t define it and clarify it there is nothing to aim at. The mind needs a well defined clear target.

We must feel it with a burning desire. If we don’t want if very much we won’t do very much to make it happen. We will be lazy and accept whatever. We will drift and not amount to much of anything.

Think about all those romance movies where the valiant swashbuckling hero has to overcome all sorts of tremendous odds in order to win the lady’s heart. He has to win her, overcome insurmountable odds and difficulties and make it back to claim her love.

He has to really want her to fight for her all the way! He has to know that he will fight to the death and come away winning her hand or he is not all in. You must be all in. You must be passionately and wholly committed. You can’t play half assed and expect to win the prize.

WHY? because with a clear target and positive powerful emotions your brain then totally gets it. There is no question about what it is you desire. It is completely clear. Message received!

In order to keep the mind on track you have to stay on target. That is where faith and feelings come in. You have to feel it is yours. You deserve it. It is yours no question.

There are no doubts, no worry, no fears. It is only a matter of time that this or something better will be fulfilled. You are all in and will never give up no matter what.

Now your brain goes to work for you. It makes connections, associations, organizes and utilizes all your resources and abilities to help you make it happen. You become confident in yourself, positive and powerful.

You trust yourself to make it happen. Where there is will there is a way. You are a champion, of course you will triumph! There is no other outcome that could happen. Your success is guaranteed!

Your mind is alerted to possibilities and opportunities. You become sensitized to these in the same way as when you purchase a new car and suddenly, notice all the same make and model on the streets. You look for opportunity and discover them where none seemed to previously exist.

You find yourself drawn to likeminded positive successful people. You discover events and circumstances working for you. Obstacles and challenges provide lessons which you extract, and you adapt and adopt and continue to move forward.

If you know success is yours you let nothing stand in the way. You know that ultimately nothing can or will prevent you from claiming what it is you want. You are already a success within!

So while it may sound like magic this is what we have learned from successful people during the past century and from well beyond that. This is how the kings and rulers think. This is how those born to wealth and privilege think. This is how the successful shakers and doers think. Their mindset paves the way for the results they want to achieve. ‘As above so below. As within so without.’

It is true there are some of trust fund babies who squander their good fortune and make a mess of their lives. By far the majority of successful people will, IF THEY WANT YOU TO KNOW IT, tell you they always knew they would do well and succeed at whatever they wanted. There was NEVER any question. NEVER ANY QUESTION!

For the rest of us we need to cultivate this mindset. We weren’t born into circumstances where we grew up knowing one day all this would be ours. We didn’t have a life where money was no object.

Anything and everything at anytime could be had for a price and we could afford it. We didn’t live this way. Good or bad, right or wrong, thankfully or not we have to develop the winner attitude on our own.

The greatest news for human kind may be that it is ABSOLUTELY POSSIBLE to do! WE CAN DO IT! We can change our lot in life by taking control of our thoughts and feelings and we can begin getting the results we want, and may have always wanted.

THIS is why it is true that the past does not equal the future because no matter what failure, heartbreak or disappointment you may have had in the past YOU CAN RIGHT NOW CHANGE IT FOR THE BETTER!

The decision is yours. You can blow it off as I did the question or you can decide now to turn your life around and start getting everything you deserve. You can live abundantly without having to deprive anyone else of anything too. You can make your dreams come true.

The decision is yours. The time is now. It is a journey but a worthwhile one and the true value of which you will only know once you get on the road. Become unstoppable. Become convinced that you will be, have and do everything you want.

Put these practices to work and discover what I and countless others have discovered, and are discovering. This mind stuff works!!! It absolutely, truly does! There is amazing, dynamic energy and power in a committed, firm decision. It may be unlike anything you have ever experienced up until now.

If you are like some people you may have to get close to hitting bottom before you act in your own best interests. I was like that. The painful signal value had to be really loud, strong and hurtful to get my attention.

If you are like some others, you see the value of an opportunity as it is presented to you. You can make the decision without having to suffer.

Sadly, there will be those, in both groups who do nothing because they simply don’t know any better. That was me too. I couldn’t see opportunity when presented, I was suspicious. I didn’t know enough consider something as that question worthy of my attention so blew it off.

Then I had to let life circumstances and my own negative and bad feelings get strong enough to make me exclaim, ‘I don’t want to live like this anymore! I must do something.’ I began to search.

THIS is what I found. Even then, I dabbled. I dipped my toes in. I went a way for a few years but I kept encountering myself again and again in less than glorious ways. Finally, I decided, ‘I really can’t live this way. I have to change and I will do whatever is required to change it!’ In that moment, I became freer.

I decided I was 100% responsible for anything and everything that happened to me. I would be a victor and a champion. I would fill my mind with positive thoughts and my being with positive glorious feelings.

If I fell I would commit to getting up. If I didn’t feel like it I would forge ahead anyway. There were many times I fell and countless times I didn’t feel like it.

Bottom line: If I can do this ANYONE else in the world can do this too. I am not special, I am not smarter, I am no one at all, just another person on a journey. I committed to it and change began happening.

Slowly, no evidence at all that anything was changing, but in time I felt better. No miracles, nothing. Shit still hit the fan. At first, I was confused and wondered why bad things were still happening but I soon learned it was my response to situations that made the difference. Wondering why only threw me back into negativity.

I learned I had to manage my thinking and steer it back to what I wanted and to focus on what I now have and what I am creating for the future. I have to and had to apply these principles repeatedly to make them a habit.

I was used to doing things other ways before so I had to learn the new ways and make these automatic, AS automatic, as the old ways of doing things. Once that happens it does get easier and easier.

Eventually, I began to notice, not only feeling better and better as a result of my mind, feelings and life becoming more positive, but small wins. Little things, positive things began happening more and more frequently and as they did I felt grateful and celebrated all I could. Gratitude opens a doorway to let so much more come in!

More wins, eventually, bigger wins. The seed sprouted, the tiny plant grows before becoming big and strong. Even more. The feelings and thoughts and results I were getting fed each other. As I felt better more things good seemed to happen. As more good things happened the better I felt. It is as if I can’t separate the two. It is quite glorious!

YET, still there are challenges and that is absolutely okay. I learn from them. I am resolved to being a life long learner. One can’t know everything. So I learn from opportunity and challenges alike. It is so wonderful!

I still fall and I get back up. Not each one is easy to get back up from but it is far easier than before. There is just no way to share how incredible this all is in my life. Words just don’t seem adequate. You really have to experience it for yourself as countless, COUNTLESS others have.

Countless, but the number is far smaller than those who won’t. That is truly sad. They are used to doing things the way they have been doing them. A wise old friend spoke these words, ‘I am awakened, it is true. Once I slept but I awoke and it is glorious. You are sleeping now but one day you too will awaken. That is just how it is.’

We are ready when we are ready. No blame, no excuses, nothing. We come to change in our own time. I love my life and I didn’t always feel that way. I love it and adore it. Funny, but as I typed these words I just had an agent phone me to come in for a call back in two days.

Make your dreams come true. Commit to yourself and making your world better. When you do you find you also want everyone else to have a better world too. Great things await you if you will only claim them and make them yours. If you haven’t already done so do it today!” Rex Sikes

Make today incredible!

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What To Do When You Don’t Feel Like It

May 28, 2015 rexsikes Leave a comment

“What do you do when you don’t feel like it? You want to but you don’t? You wish you felt like it but… You know it would be good for you to do it. What are you supposed to do?

DO IT ANYWAY!

Somehow, some people have grown up thinking that if we don’t feel like it then we shouldn’t do it. Our feelings run the show. I am not sure this is normal or natural. For example, It seems that some people have been brave and did amazing things while filled with fear. I am sure they didn’t ‘feel like it’.

They were terrified but acted anyway. They did not let fear stop them. Some people are idiots who have no fear when they should have, but sometimes ordinary people behave in extraordinary ways.

Gandhi fasted. I am sure he felt hungry. He resisted the urge to meet violence with violence. He found another way. Victor Frankl was imprisoned, held captive, yet, felt free within his spirit. He did not let his captivity or his captors crush him.

We have been mislead. We are told feelings matter. They do, but not in the manner we think is most important. It is important to recognize and validate feelings. Feelings drive the show in messaging the subconscious.

We should feel good most of the time in order to make our lives what we want them to be. We should feel good in pursuing our goals and in getting what we want. Feelings are indicators when we are off track and focused on what we don’t want.

Consider The Concept Of Enlightenment

Whomever we are, we are not our thoughts, we are the thinker who thinks the thoughts. We are not our feelings. We are the one who produces feeling in response to our thoughts. We are beyond our thoughts and feelings, yet, most of us think we are our thoughts and feelings.

Some people think if we ‘can’t’ do it, well then, it can’t be done. If we don’t ‘feel like it’ then we won’t do it. Neither of these statements are accurate unless we accept them as accurate. If we accept these notions as true then we are limited by these notions. Still, we know others have accomplished much even when facing incredible personal or real world odds.

Let’s make it even simpler. There are those who, by discipline, exercise ever day even when they don’t feel like it. It’s true, not every day seems like a good day to go to the gym. Some maintain eating a particular way or diet even when they don’t want to.

The military conditions people to do all sorts of things when they may feel otherwise. People don’t have to feel like it in order to do it. Although most of us think we have to because if we don’t feel like it then we just don’t do it.

There may be times when this is acceptable. There are times when it isn’t. Your employer won’t tolerate it for very long if you don’t feel like coming into work often. There are things we do because we must even when we don’t want to or feel like it. So we are capable.

If it is good for you, in your best interests, and you don’t feel like it GO AHEAD and do it anyway. Don’t be a victim to your less than glorious thoughts and feelings. Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and just do it anyway. Use some intestinal fortitude.

Become Disciplined

Perhaps, that is what discipline is. The ability to be consistent and persistent in spite of our feelings or obstacles that may attempt to prevent us. We stay on course no matter what the distractions.

We focus and aim at the target and do not waiver. Sometime you just have to stick to it. Don’t be like a cork bobbing on the water going wherever the current takes it. Be the captain of your ship. Be in charge of your own power so you can steer yourself and get yourself to wherever you want to go.

You should be the victor and not the victim of your thoughts, feelings, and circumstances. You can be a champion. In order to be a champion you have to stop with the excuses. You have to take responsibility. You have to persist and be willing to see it through even if you don’t feel like it.

You don’t feel like cleaning the house. Do it anyway. In fact, do it first before you do anything else. Don’t let it sit out there as a task looming over you. Get it out of the way. Take charge, take action.

Take a small step in the right direction and then do another one after that. Then another and before you know it you will be done. Every time you go in and out of a room make it a point to put something away. Soon your house will be cleaner.

Find ways to accomplish whatever you need to. Stop excusing yourself for not feeling like it! DO it anyway. You will feel better about yourself in the long run. It can be a good feeling when you push through it because you discover you were capable all along.

The trick is not to play the blame game or the excuses game. Just do whatever is in your best interest. Be responsible. Take responsibility for your thoughts, your feelings and your actions. Run them instead of letting them run you. You can be aware of them without letting them dictate who you are and what you are able to do.

You Have Choices

Something, has come along and upset your life. Some bad event. You got thrown off course. You feel like chucking it. At this moment you don’t want to put on a happy face and feel better. You prefer to curse it and stew in it. Okay that is a choice. How soon do you think you will feel better? Time will take care of it. It may?

What have you learned by this? Sit and let things do whatever they do. Wait and when ready resume. It is an option probably valid at times. However, you are not in charge. Something else is in charge of you. Think about that for a moment.

You could take charge. You could determine your destination and the course you want to travel. You could make it a point to do something that makes you feel a bit better. You can do anything positive to feel a bit more positive.

You begin to move in that direction even when you may not feel like it. You inch your way along until you can take bigger steps. You don’t deceive yourself with limited thinking. You don’t whine, complain, blame yourself, the circumstances or anyone else.

You push through it and surprise yourself that you can exceed your limitations. You discover you can go much further when you allow yourself, even if you have to force yourself. What have you learned by this? Think about this for a moment.

You can be victim or victor. It really is up to the decision you make. After all, it is your life. You may not be in a prisoner in a cell like Victor Frankl, you may be a free person. If you are a free person act like it. Be free. Act free.

You Are Beyond You Thoughts And Feelings. Act Like It

Use your feelings Don’t be used by your feelings. Recognize them for what they are. They are a signal system. The indicate whether or not you are on track and closing in on your goal. When you are feeling positive you are on course.

When they are less than glorious they indicate you are off track and you are paying attention to what you don’t want. You won’t make your life better thinking and pursuing what you do not want. So the negative feelings provide you the opportunity to change direction and move back towards what you do want.

Don’t be a prisoner of limited thinking. Stop thinking ‘I can’t’ and begin thinking ‘I can!’ Exceed your limits. Go beyond them in ways that delight and surprise you. Don’t let your thoughts or feelings stop you from doing something that truly benefits you or others. Find the ways to let go and make it happen. Start living your positive dreams!” Rex Sikes

I’ll share more that you can do to feel ‘like it’ when you don’t in upcoming blog.

Be good to yourself today!

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How To Stop Brain From F’ing You Up

May 28, 2015 rexsikes 1 Comment

“Who do you imagine yourself to be? What do you say about who you are? What do you think and say and imagine about what you have done, can do, and will accomplish? What you think about you bring about! What are you thinking and saying about yourself to yourself and others throughout each day of your life? Whatever it is you can bet you are fulfilling it.

If you want to make permanent, positive changes, easily, then you need to work with the system. What you have been affirming all your life may be the reason you have been stuck. Those limiting ‘I’ statements we say to ourselves and others keep us the same. What you hold in your head you will hold in your hand!

Thanks for joining me for Part 2. Continued From Previous Post: If Your Computer Is Sabotaging You; Fix It!

See Yourself As You Wish To Be ‘As If’ You Already Are

Maltz suggested we spend time each day visualizing ourselves as we wish to be. He had specific recommendations that included imaging our goals as already complete. See ourselves as we would be if we right now had those changes. We should visualize ourselves as having already made the changes we want to make. We should see the end result.

Imagine your life and actions in as much detail as possible, as it would be, if you were precisely the way you hope you will be. Imagine it ‘as if’ the change has already been made and you are living as you hope to. Inside your head, live, think and act as if that future you is right now.

I have shared with you previous blogs why this works. The brain can’t tell the difference between an imagined image and a real one on the outside. I have shared with you the research. It would be well worth it to go back through my blogs and re-read as many as you can. Study these principles and practices daily and you will make your dreams come true!

Spend time imagining what you want each day, morning and night. Imagine it as already accomplished and enjoy the feelings that accompany this. These wonderful, powerful feelings combined with the new imagery informs the unconscious, our subconscious servo mechanism (servant mind,) that THIS is what we want.

Maltz, leaders of the New Thought Movement, ancient philosophers and practitioners also prescribed this. While this may be new to you or some people today, it has been around working forever. The sad truth is that few apply it. I hope you won’t be one to pass up having everything you want in life for the reasons we are discussing here.

Earl NIghtengale referred to it as ‘the strangest secret’ because as he pointed out, it is not secret at all. These working principles are well known but few ever apply them. That secret is: you become what you think about most during your day and night. The secret is hidden in plain view.

Strong, Intense Emotions Run The Show

Visualization, combined with intense positive emotion, repeated again and again brings about the change. You must be consistent and persistent and not waiver or give up. We bring about what we think about. The more passionate, the greater the desire, the more intense the feelings the stronger the message signal.

I have shared how our less than glorious emotions run the show because of their intensity. When we are angry, raging, fearful or sad, when we worry and doubt these bring us more of the same because what we focus on we get back.

Powerful emotions drive the subconscious. Powerful emotions combined with what we focus on, whether we focus intentionally on what we want, or unintentionally on what we don’t want, cause us to get back more of the same. The signal value is high. This is the language the subconscious understand and replicates. The language IS powerful emotions combined with images in our head.

The subconscious only knows to give you more of the same. Whatever you are feeding it the subconscious gives back. Positive or negative. Wanted or unwanted.The key to getting what you want is intention. You intend to get positive results BY focusing on what you want and enhancing your positive thoughts and feelings! The more you feel good as you think about yourself now and in the future the more that is the present and future you get back.

Imagine how you want to be, feel, do and what you want to have as if it has already come true. This is important because if you imagine it in the future, out there, it will stay in the future. Someday never comes. Our subconscious works to make it happen as we imagine it. FEEL IT FULLY! Embrace the positive feelings.

Since we can’t imagine every detail, I like to include a disclaimer that I think and repeat. ‘this or something better’ because I am completely into being happily surprised. By repeating it over and over in your inner movie theater combined with strong positive ‘feel good’ feelings you deliver the message to the subconscious which ultimately receives the signal, the message and acts on it.

Change Your Self Image And You Can Change Your Habits

In this manner you develop the habits and behaviors in alignment with your new self image. The results of intentional visualization combined with strong intense positive feelings repeated over and over is the message, you want, gets through through to the subconscious and we then begin to think, feel and behave consistent with our new self imagine.

As you begin to change the inner image you speak to yourself more positively. Your self-talk becomes nicer and more inspiring. You begin to think in terms of yourself as an ‘I can learn to do anything’ type of person.

You become a ‘can do’ person. You learn you can change anything inside you AND when you change the inner you – you realize you can change anything outside yourself as well. Use your self-talk wisely. Speak only to bless, heal and prosper. Stop blaming and criticizing and making excuses for yourself.

You’ll see new advantages and opportunities you may have missed before. You become alert to them because now you see in new ways. The inside changes first. You make new connections and form new neural pathways. You are evolving your brain and yourself.

Your self image determines what you become. The outer matches the inner. If your inner world is impoverished your outer world will be too. If your inner world sucks the results you get will suck as well. It takes a wake up call to change.

Sometimes, you just get sick and tired of being sick and tired. Sometimes, it is a large upheaval in a person’s life that causes the individual to snap into ‘I have to change’ mode. Sometimes, it is just a review of what your life has been or is like.

As Above So Below; As Within So Without

If your outer circumstances suck change your inner world! Change what you have been doing and you will begin to notice things in your life changing. Begin from within. Change your inner vision and you will change your world as you see yourself.

As you become a new person within the outer world conforms to your self image of yourself. You fix the outer world by first fixing the inner world.

Self Image and habits go together. Change your Self Image and your behaviors change to be consistent with the new you. As you repeat the new behaviors they become new positive habits. As you develop the new positive habits you become more confident and competent and this reinforces the new positive Self Image. You really do evolve yourself!

If you don’t see yourself happy, wealthy or successful you won’t ever develop those behaviors as long as you don’t see it. However, as you being to see yourself as happy, wealthy and successful and you feel it within and you believe it; and you move through the world with these thoughts and feelings you begin to behave in happier, healthier, wealthier and more successful ways.

You bring about the outer change by having changed the inner. Maltz, Hill, Wattles, and so many others before them, and since them encourage you to make yourself and your life what you want it to be. No one can do it for you. You may have adopted the image of yourself and the beliefs you grew up with from others but you don’t have to keep any you don’t want. Those have brought you to today!

Today, the decision is yours. Only you can improve your own Self Image. Only you can make your mind, your thoughts and your imagination work for you. End the limitations, learn to be free. Enjoy a new day and a new life when you decided to take charge. Update the computer and get it working for you automatically instead of against you!” Rex Sikes

Thrill yourself with all good things!

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If Your Personal Computer Is Sabotaging You; Fix It!

May 27, 2015 rexsikes 1 Comment

“Have you tried to make a change and found it difficult? Perhaps, it worked for awhile but then you reverted back to the old issue? Even though you may have promised yourself ‘this time will be different’ it wasn’t very long until it was back the same? If you answered yes to these questions you may need to look at self image.

People think or verbalize statement such as ‘that is just not me’ or ‘I would never wear that’ or ‘i can’t stop eating’ or ‘I just have a lot of nervous energy’ or ‘I could never do that’ and more. Many more! These ARE affirmations of our self image. NO they aren’t Positive Affirmations.

Careful, You Are Already Using Affirmations

No, they are not the kind we talk about when we say you need to repeat affirmations for success but they work exactly the same way. We already DO think and repeat these over and over again just as we are encouraged to do with the Positive kind! We live these daily.

These self image affirmations we utter work to keep us consistent. They work to keep us consistently the person we say we are. Who we are is a result of the self image we maintain. They affirm what we are like and what we can and can’t do. These thoughts and utterances of ours affirm our boundaries. They work REALLY well!

They maintain our limits. We have an internal image of who we are and what we are capable of and what we deserve in life that we live from and fulfill. We produce or don’t produce results consistent with who we are and what this image of ourself is.

We won’t do anything inconsistent with our self image. When we do try to change behaviors we find it difficult because we are attempting to do something ‘unlike’ us. We tend to think of ourselves as a smart or dumb person, fat or thin, happy or unhappy, successful or not, rich or poor, easy going or not… The list goes on.

Become Aware Of All Your ‘I’ Statements

We can get a clue as to what our self image actually is by paying attention to our thoughts, these notions about ourself, and the utterances or exclamations we make during the day. When times are good and when times are rough ‘we show up’. If we pay attention we can begin to get a sense of who we are on the inside.

We have a composite of images, sounds and feelings of who we are and who we are not. We can even look at our own internal images on our own inner movie screen and see who we think we are. Who and what do we represent ourself to be inside our head?

From the dawn of time, ancient practitioner of these arts have attempted to get us to maintain a positive self image and move beyond our boundaries into happiness, well-being and success. Some have used their approaches with incredible results!

Maxwell Maltz was a plastic surgeon who, because of his work making people pretty and repairing damaged looks, began to explore this area. He did this because people surprised him. An unhappy patient would come to him desperately wanting to look a certain way. He’d provide it but the person remained unhappy.

At first he was confounded. He wanted to know how this was possible. Though they didn’t exist, as we know them today, it was as if an internal computer was running the show. Whatever the programmed software was dictated the results one gets. Today, we know the results you get on a computer ARE determined by what the software is programmed to do.

Self Image Runs The Show

He provides numerous examples in his books. What he discovered was his patients had an internal picture, an image of who they were. Regardless of the outer change they lived from the one inside their heads. The internal image, this self image, runs the show just as a computer does. Whatever is within is what gets output consistently.

Maltz began to explore what people were doing and what they could do differently in their imagination to get what they wanted. As a doctor and businessman he wanted satisfied and happy patients.

His works have sold steadily since 1960. He became a mojor proponent of personal change and development. His break through book was called Psycho Cybernetics. It is as relevant today as it was back then. You can find it and read it. Read it over and over!

He proffered that behaviors stem from our self image. This is the mental picture we have created of ourself. Many people attempt to change behaviors but find this nearly impossible because the behaviors they want to change are automated habits.

Maltz’s patients wanted to become happy by changing their appearance. This rarely worked because they (we) have a persistent automated self image. In order for their lives to be happy (our lives to be happy) they had to work (we have to work) on the inner person before anything else.

There Is An Order To Positive Change; A Recipe

Maltz reasoned that most people encounter difficulty because they put the cart before the horse. They tried to change the behaviors first and that should not be the first order of business. Imagine a ladder with self image at the top run and behaviors further down on the rungs.

In order to change these behaviors Maltz stated you first had to change the mental image. Once you change your internal picture of self your behaviors can change. You change your personality, your self image and your behaviors change because a self image change is a higher order change. It governs the rest.

We know that thought precedes action. To change our feelings and behaviors we must first change our thoughts. Humans have not accomplished or built anything that they first didn’t create inside their heads and then build with their hands. Our own personal changes are accomplished the same way.

If we want to succeed in the outer world we must first succeed in our inner world. Who and what we think we are determines how we feel about ourselves and what we will do to achieve our dreams (assuming we have dreams). If we want to be happy in life we must first be happy within. ‘As within. So without. As above. So Below’ is an ancient principle.

Join me in my next blog! I’ll continue to share what Maltz and other thoughts leaders insist will get you the most change in the least time in the easiest fashion. When you know how to work with your own system it is much easier. There are precise things you and I can do to be, do and have anything we want in life. Join me next time and spread the word Life is and can be glorious for you!” Rex Sikes

Have a remarkable day! See you tomorrow.

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Blessings, Celebration, Confidence, Decision, Emotions, Focus, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Intentional Thinking, Law Of Attraction, Persistence, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Success

The Easy Way To Keep Your Life & Career From Going Bad

May 26, 2015 rexsikes 2 Comments

” The goal, as I write in these pages, is to feel the best you are able to at any given moment. Even, if you only feel a little bit better, that is what matters. It matters that you move yourself in the positive direction of feeling good. The results can be amazing!

It absolutely matters that YOU choose what you want to make yourself feel because it has an incredibly powerful and profound lasting effect. Your life can absolutely change from bad to better and from better to best when you apply these principles and practices.

Steer Toward The Positive

I have mentioned numerous times that it is necessary to cultivate the ability to steer back toward the positive. This is a skill that can be developed. ‘How?’ you ask. Take 100% responsibility for your thoughts and feelings. Promise yourself you will learn to be in charge.

Train your mind to see the good in everything. Train yourself to find the best feelings you are able to at all times. Keep your focus on the positive. What seems impossible to do at first and requires discipline becomes easier and easier the more you do it.

Develop These Abilities As Habits

Make your thoughts and feelings work for you instead of you working for them. It is said about the wealthy they don’t work for their money. They have learned how to make their money work for them. It’s true! They make money while they sleep from a variety of sources.

The same is true about your thoughts, attitude and mindset. Make your mind work for you instead of you being a victim of it. Learn to control your thoughts and feelings. Be the master not the servant. They do not teach you this in school unfortunately.

Usually, we are taught we have no control over anything but if we work hard we can succeed. Consider it one of the best kept secrets ‘they’ don’t want you to know about. You can control your thoughts and feelings.

Your Mind Is The One Thing You Can Have Complete Control Of

Once you master your mind you can shut it off. You can give up control once you have it, whenever you like. Once you learn that your thoughts are subject to your will you realize YOU are bigger than your thoughts. You are bigger than your thoughts.

You will be in charge of the thoughts you think instead of you thinking that the thinking is going on outside of your control. Do you get that? It is a silly thought to think that you can’t control what you think. Why would you ever think that. You wouldn’t if you were in charge of your thoughts.

You think those kind of silly things because somewhere in your life time you co-opted the thoughts of others. You didn’t even realize that was what you were doing while it was going on but it was.

You adopted thoughts from others as your own instead of thinking for yourself. Realize you have power to seize control and seize it! Anyone can do it. Few actually will. Be one of the few that do instead of the countless that won’t. Make your live wonderful!

If you think silly, useless or stupid, destructive thoughts, or weak, wimpy, powerless thoughts that is what you get back. You will get back in results THE Results of your crappy ineffective thinking. Is that what you want? If the answer is no then now is the time to learn to take control.

Decide What You Will Think And Feel

Control means you decide what you will think and feel. It means you allow what you want to experience and ignore or eliminate that which you don’t. It means you can start thoughts that help you and stop those that don’t. When you want to meditate or relax you can choose your thoughts or turn them off.

You can’t relinquish control if you don’t have it in the first place. You have to be in control to let go of control. Control means you train your mind and make your mind YOUR servant. Make your mind work for you automatically instead of you working for it.

You only have to move yourself incrementally in the right direction bit by bit over time, repeatedly, in order to learn how to manage your thoughts and feelings. It is similar to learning to ride a bike or drive a car or anything else you have ever learned to do. It is a skill, and ability you can get better at and get good at the more you do it.

Correct Repetition Builds Skill And Brings Benefits

The more you do it and the better you get at it the more confidence and competence you develop. The more you do it the more you are able to do and the better you feel. It continues this way. Everything begins getting better because you started making small but purposeful changes.

The art is learning to promote what you want to grow and enjoy and to let go of that which causes pain or suffering. Plenty occurs in the world that we might get caught up in for any length of time. Awareness, is when we notice we are not doing what we want to, we are not working according to plan and we steer back onto track.

Instead of feeling bad about going off course we celebrate getting back on course. All of us can go off course. That is part of living. Getting back on course is what we learn to do. We are gentle and loving and accepting of ourselves through it all. We find reasons to enjoy life and celebrate.

If I Can Do It I Know You Can Probably Do It Even Better

I choose to think about my children. I focus on how lucky I am to have them in my life and how great I feel. I count my blessings in many other ways. Family, friends, opportunity, difficult life lessons, experiences, travels, talents, events, all make up my life and my world. I am grateful for all of it. My life is perfect each moment.

When I focus on these things, before you know it, I feel much better. It is easy to feel better when we devote a bit of time to it. Because birds of a feather flock together once we find the first thing, or first few things to celebrate more flock to our mind. We find other things to become thankful about and celebrate.

Remember all the reasons you usually feel delighted. Don’t just intellectually recount these but feel them. Really allow yourself to feel the gratitude and the celebration.

I write this today because sometimes we can benefit from a nudge in the right direction. Keep at it. Make it a habit. It gets easier and easier. Any bumps in the road are there for you to learn how to not be thrown of course by bumps in the road. Pretty soon you can navigate pretty much any way. Enjoy and celebrate the process!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today!

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