Category Archives: Focus

Attitude, Beliefs, Creating The Future, Creator, Energy, Focus, Goals, Intentional Thinking, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Improvement

A Surefire Way To Drop Your Negativity & Move Forward

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everydat is a new beginning

“Some people are good at getting what they want. They create what they intend to. Others are good at creating what they don’t want. They create what they don’t intend to. They get exactly what they don’t want to get because they are focused on what they don’t want almost exclusively. Do you sometimes do this? Is this you?

Continued from: You Have No Idea How Negative You Are And How It Screws You Over – This is Part 3.

The ones who get what they intend to do so because they are focued on what they want exclusively. Those who get unintended results don’t aim their intentions at their goal or dream. They don’t intend to be rich or happy they just don’t want to be broke or sad. They literally create or attract what they hope to avoid.

What you resist, persist. What you think about you bring about.

Zero Productivity + Zero Positivity + Negativity = Negativity

Most people aren’t engaged in disaster thinking all day or all week. They are engaged in mostly ZERO productivity, Zero positive, Zero intentional thinking all day all week. They aren’t using their brains to get ahead but they are using them to stay where they are.

Doing more of the same thing doesn’t get you out. If you are in a hole you have to stop digging. If your car is stuck in the mud turning your tires faster won’t get you out unless it makes the correct contact. If you are drifting at see you are drifting and not getting anywhere fast.

So stop digging and stop spinning your wheels and learn to take control of your mind. Take charge of your thoughts and start creating what you want. You will not get the results you want if your thoughts are useless. If the bulk of your thinking is Zero Productive and Negative most of the time you don’t move forward.

Learn To Create What You Want To Create

Become intentional in your thinking. It is either productive or not. Positive or not. It either gets you closer to your dream or it doesn’t. Evaluate! Is what you are thinking and doing getting you closer or further away from your goals?

Are you getting closer or further away from where you want to be? Are you happy with the results you are getting? Is you positive energy ball larger or smaller than your negative energy ball? To which are you adding your energy too

My regular readers should remember: Imagine on one side you have a ball of negative thoughts and energy above your head. On the other side of you is a ball of positive thoughts and energy. Which is larger? Which ball do you contribute the most energy and thought to most of the time?

This will determine where you are heading and what you are getting. If you want to get your desires you have to do what gets you them. Nothing else will do it and no one else can do it for you. Either you will or you won’t.

Either you ARE thinking positive right now or you aren’t. Whatever else you are thinking IS NOT positive, it is not intentional. It isn’t helping but it could be harming you. It is keeping you where you are. Keep all this in mind.

How To Make The Law Of Attraction Not Work For You

The very reason some people claim the Law Of Attraction or positive thinking doesn’t work for them IS because they are distracted most of the time. They drift but don’t realize it.

They don’t take responsibility for their thinking but hope that something from the outside will rescue them. They do not do what they need to to make it work. So they give up and blame instead. They say I tried but IT didn’t work.

What they are focused on doesn’t count or may be counter productive. SO they are are bad off, or stuck or not getting ahead very fast and they worry and wonder why it is not working.

Do you get it? Do you understand. THAT very thinking, that worry, is part of the negative distracting thinking. They are just piling more of it on because they are not aware that they are doing it. Instead of changing their thinking they are doing the same thing again without realizing it.

Awareness is the key to change. You have to examine and become aware. You have to evaluate and do something about what you discover. If you change nothing nothing will change.That is why doing the same thing over again BUT expect different results IS the definition of insanity.

If You Are Positive And Intentional Then What Are You?

They heap on the negativity while concerned that positive thinking isn’t working. IT IS BECAUSE THEY AREN”T REALLY THINKING POSITIVE YET!!!! OR AT LEAST NOT MOST OF THE TIME!

Most of the time they are distracted. They are zero thinking. They are engaged in negative thinking, or they are worried or fearful but they are NOT positive thinking even thought they think they are. They deceive themselves.

The LOA isn’t something that swoops in from outside you to rescue you it is something you learn to apply. It isn’t a thing it is a process. It isn’t something separate from you. It is you!

Either you create what you want or you don’t because of what you are thinking and doing. Either you attract what you want or not because of what you are thinking and doing.

The LOA isn’t something that works for you or doesn’t. YOU either work for you or you don’t. You are either your own best friend and ally or you are not. You are either a positive intentional creator who is happy and healthy and enjoys life or you aren’t. You are either optimistic or pessimistic.

The good news is if you aren’t happy where you are or with the results you have been getting you can get different results and learn to become happier. If you want it though it is up to you.

You can get it  but you are the one doing it. No one and nothing else. It isn’t some magical force the LOA it is you going after and making happen what you want to happen.

Awareness Is The Key That Unlocks The Door

This is why awareness is the key. You have to monitor and correct. When you are off course you have to navigate back onto course. This is what those people fail to do. They continue to sail more and more off course with their thinking. Then they blame everything!

This is what we need to become aware of. This is what you need to notice and stop if this is what you do.  You have to stop digging the hole, stop spinning the wheels ,stop heaping negativity onto your zero thinking. STOP! NO excuses, no whining and blaming. Take full responsibility and you will change your life.

Stop – evaluate – change direction and set the course again. THEN ACT! Do what you need to do repeatedly until you get the results. When you again discover yourself off course – repeat process – and get back on course. THIS IS HOW YOU GET THERE!

Be honest about what you are doing. Is your energy focused on the positive energy ball or the negative one? Make sure what you are doing contributes to your well-being.

If you aren’t sure seek out some positive people to assist you. Read inspirational material. Fill your mind with positive, possible intentional thinking.

Believe in yourself! If you don’t have faith in you, yet, start. Take it step by step. Just as a new young human learns to walk you may fall many times. That is part of the learning, That is part of the correction process.

There Is Learning and There Is Unlearning: You Need Both

The baby learns all their skills and balancing through falling and stumbling and eliminating movement that are not necessary to move forward.  When you watch a child begin their movements are exaggerated and bit by bit reduced to only those necessary to succeed at the task they are learning.

Whether they are learning to sit up, feed oneself or walk a large part of their learning process is undoing these exaggerated movements. The young child is honing behaviors and eliminate those that don’t contribute to what the child is attempting to do.

The learning is about learning to UNDO as much as it is learning new things to do. It is the same with Intentional Positive Thinking. You undo the distractions, the Negative Zero Thinking, while learning to focus on the Intentional positive thinking.

You Succeed When You Create Positive Successful Habits

Both forms of thinking get you results.  Negative Zero Thinking  is haphazard and you end up where you don’t want. Intentional Positive Thinking is targeted and takes you to your goal. It is your decision which one you engage in most of the time. It is up to you to decide each moment which you pick.

One is a habit. It is the one you do most of the time already. You can change this. If it isn’t the Intentional Positive Thinking it can be. It can  become a habit too and serve you wonderfully and productively.

If you want to get positive results you must do what it takes to make it habit. You have to become aware of your thinking and honestly evaluate.

IS what you are thinking and doing getting you closer to what you want? If yes continue. If no, stop. Change what you are doing. Make adjusts and continue this process until until it becomes a habit.

Research suggests that you can undo a bad habit and learn a new positive habit in as little as 21 days of regular repeated correct practice. It can be done but some people take longer.

Give yourself a couple or a few months. Dedicate yourself to a new, improved you. Begin by making your dreams come true. Focus on what you want. Create what you intend to create!” Rex Sikes

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HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Meanwhile – keep subscribing and following here!!!

Enjoy what is glorious about you today!

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Attitude, Beliefs, Creating The Future, Creator, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Goals, Intentional Thinking, Persistence, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Trust

How To Stop Getting Screwed Over By Your Own Negativity

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eliminate blame guilt and worry

“Do you realize that you create whatever you spend your time thinking about? Whatever most occupies your attention is what you bring forth. Success of Failure in career or life is determined by your mindset. You become what you think about most often.

If most of your time is spent thinking about nothing you create nothing. If most of your time is spent in worry, fear, and doubt that is what you end up with in your lives. If you try avoiding what you don’t want you end up getting that most of the time. It just works this way.

Continued from: You Have No Idea How Negative You Are And How It Screws You Over – This is Part 2.

If you are DISTRACTED and NOT THINKING about what you want or you are thinking NEGATIVELY (disaster thinking) or THINKING about what you DON’T WANT (fear, worry, blame, whining, lack) instead of focusing on what you absolutely do want and concentrating on what you do want you aren’t going to get there.

You will get all that you don’t want instead!

You Are What You Are Not Thinking About Too

Whatever you are not thinking about you become too. If you have no predominant desire, no pursuit, then you aren’t going to make anything happen. You are drifting. You go where the wind takes you.

This is why your goals must become magnificent obsessions. You must have positive burning desires and passionate pursuits if you want career success and happiness in life. You become what you think about. Right now, your life circumstances.

You Are Where Your Thoughts Have Brought You

Your thoughts have brought you here. If you are very pleased, congratulations. If you chose to you can make it even more wonderful! If you don’t like it, hang in there, you can absolutely make it better. It is simple and it will require some dedication BUT you can make it wonderful when you chose to!

You are here because of your previous thoughts. Your thinking. You are where your thoughts brought you. This is the result. Your thoughts will take you into tomorrow. You will be wherever your thoughts take you. You can’t escape the power of your thoughts.

Let go of events, circumstances and people in the world that don’t take you where you want to go. You must not get caught up in these easy and far too frequent distractions. It does not contribute to your well being to be caught up and focused on less than glorious things.

Focus and navigate to your destination without being too concerned about the present condition of the sea. Yes, you must negotiate troubled waters but not with fear. When you travel with confidence you will get through them. Attitude determines what we think is possible. It governs what we do and don’t do.

Stop Getting Caught In Less Than Productive Thinking

Negative thinking IS getting caught in the details and worrying about how you will make it happen. It is thinking in ways that limit you. It is worrying about what might or could go wrong and how it is or isn’t happening. Negative thinking is thinking you don’t have enough knowledge, will-power, personality to make it.

It is micromanaging from fear and doubt instead of seeing the big picture. It is trying to arrange all the details and plan all the steps prior to doing anything. Negative thinking is focusing on why you can’t and how you aren’t able to get what we want.

You have to keep an eye on the big picture and the prize. You have to know, that no matter what, even if you don’t know how or have all the details yet, you can and will get through it because that is the kind of person you are. Believe in yourself. Believe you will take the right steps to make it happen. Believe you can adjust if necessary.

Trust YOU! Have faith in yourself and your abilities. Faith hones creative power to manifest what is needed at the right time, regardless of the obstacles, challengers and temporary defeat. Know you will succeed even when you aren’t sure how. Conquer your problems and your fears. Live and think as a champion.

Tomorrow You Will Be Where Your Thoughts Today Take You

How isn’t as important as the why. The method is not as important as knowing you can do it. Most people get far too caught up in details. They want tools, techniques, procedures, rules and if they can’t figure out how first then they won’t act. They wait. They procrastinate. It is not that they don’t act. IT is that they WON’T act.

They put it off hoping to figure it all out and be assured of success prior to taking a single step. It rarely, if ever, works this way. The how is never explained until after the act is completed. Edison didn’t know what would make a light bulb work until after 10,000 tries.

You won’t know the precise ‘how’ before you do it. Afterwards you might. Once he got it to work it was clear to him. Prior to that moment he just kept pursuing it until it came to him. He didn’t sit and wait. He didn’t complain and he didn’t give up.

You Can Not Escape The Results Of Your Thoughts

He kept going in spite of not knowing what the answer was. One day his mind put two and two together and he realized he needed a particular filament and a vacuum tube. He knew what he wanted and he persisted in spite of all odds.

Edison kept the faith and adjusted what he was doing as necessary. Success was assured IN HIS MIND prior to getting any actual results in the world. This is the mindset you and I and everyone needs.

You have to focus your energy and attention around something. You can’t be scattered. You can’t drift. This is why you must have know your purpose and have a positive burning desire and passionate pursuit in fulfilling it.

Your Intentional Positive Thoughts Produce Positive Results

You become what you think about. Stop worrying about how you will make it happen and focus on why it is important to make it happen. Get inspired and motivated to act. Make it your magnificent obsession and keep pursuing it and you will unleash your creativity.

If you get caught in specifics it is dull, boring and annoying. It depletes your energy. You want to keep your energy charged for accomplishing your desires. You want to enjoy life and feel your best while you make your dreams come true.

Thinking too small, having no focus, no direction, being too scattered and thinking about what you DO NOT want, is all negative thinking. Negative means it produces negative results. It does not get you closer to what you want. It produces less than glorious results. You get results other than what you intend.

That is why I call positive thinking Intentional Thinking. I think it helps describe it better.  People have come to misunderstand the notion of positive thinking. The term positive thinking carries too much baggage.

You Are A Creator Whether You Want To Be Or Not

You create what you intend to create! You even will create what you don’t intend to and that is what most people are doing. They get exactly what they don’t want to get because they are focused on what they don’t want almost exclusively.

I’ll share more in Part 3. This is why the ancient texts all the way to the New Thought Leaders point out you must make it deliberate. Creation is a deliberate act! You must be clear on what you want and determined to get it. Know what you want!

You must be emotionally involved to the utmost and have a burning desire for its completion. You must have complete faith that you will succeed no matter what the obstacles to engage your inner processes and resources to make it happen. If you do these you will have whatever you want.

Purpose, Passion, Faith And Persistence Make It Happen

This blog is a resource to help you focus and to share with you the steps you can take to get inspired, motivated and create that burning desire. I want to help you as others have helped me.

My hope is that you read, study, re-read and put into motion these time honored principles and practices that will help you be, do and have whatever you want in life. You can do it.

It isn’t magic but it is magical. There is an immense power that comes when your thoughts and words and feelings are in alignment. Life begins to work in magical ways.

You become a creative and deliberate source of positive intentional energy while at the same time trusting, allowing and knowing it is all coming together in positive ways. It is a fabulous way to live! You can be this, you can do this, you can have this! Absolutely! It is ALL up to you.” Rex Sikes

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HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Meanwhile – keep subscribing and following here!!!

It is a beautiful new day Enjoy, Enjoy, Enjoy!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others

 

Creating The Future, Definite Chief Purpose, Energy, Focus, Intentional Thinking, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Improvement

You Have No Idea How Negative You Are & How It Screws You Over!

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60,000 thoughts a day don't waste

“What does it mean to think negative? What is it? Do you do it? How much do you do it? Would you be aware of it while you are doing it?What do you think about most of the time? Are you happy with the  results you have in your life? If not, then you may be more negative than you realize.

The problem most people have is that they don’t think they think negatively. Well, certainly, they know they do sometimes but they don’t realize fully what negative thinking is. They think, at worst perhaps, they are half and half. Half and half IS a problem.

Negative Thinking Is Much More Than Disaster Thinking

Something bad happens and we dwell on it. Yes, that is negative but the bulk of our negative thinking is the preponderance of thoughts that don’t add up to anything positive at the end of the day.

It is the chatter thinking, the little distractions, complaints, blames, envy. It is drifting thoughts that aren’t targeted specifically to anything positive. They aren’t aimed in any direction so no direction is pursued by the mind.

They are random thoughts about circumstances; filling the car, getting some food, hating traffic, complaining about the weather, the economy or our partners annoying behaviors and all the rest. They are just countless thoughts that produce nothing positive alone or in great numbers.

So Much Of People’s Thinking Is Directionless

It is pointless. It is of a less than glorious or productive nature. We are distracted more than we are focused. This is a major point! It is what consumes the mind that controls the mind.

In this day and age it is hard not to be distracted. So many competing messages, devices, gadgets, news bulletins, advertisements, internet, BS, good news, life, work, everything going on all at once – some of it may even be intentional.

There are people who maintain that there are those in power  who want to keep it for themselves. They are greedy and don’t want others to attain power or wealth so they rule by chaos and confusion. The more distracted we are individually the less we focus on getting ahead.

The More Distracted We Are The Less Power We Have To Succeed

The more distracted and divided we are as a community the less power we have to get ahead. We end up remaining the same, bickering among ourselves while those in charge smile gleefully behind closed doors.

Whether or not there is a consorted effort to keep us down I don’t know. I do think we ought not let ourselves be distracted. I think we need to learn to focus our energies, determine what we want and devote ourselves to making it come true positively and powerfully.

We should not be lazy and that is what negativity thinking really is. It is the path many of us are most used to. We grew up in it. We were surrounded by it. It is so common place we barely notice it.

When The Shoe Fits You Don’t Notice It

‘When the shoe fits you don’t notice it’ is a wonderful saying that makes the point that when we are comfortable we are unaware. If however, we get a rock in our shoe or the shoe binds and fits too snuggly so we blister THEN we become aware of the shoe.

We aren’t aware of how much time we spend NOT noticing what we are doing. Half and half keeps us stuck right where we are. There is no predominant direction being set. There is no preponderance of time occupying our attention. Half and Half is drifting. It is one step forward and one step back.

We don’t notice our negativity because it is our second nature. Perhaps, it is our first nature. It is so ingrained in us we live it and don’t even realize it. We are used to it. Even when people point it out we may not be able to see it. We think nothing of it.

If We Want To Improve Our Lives We Must Not Be Lazy 

In order for us to improve our lives we must not allow ourselves to be lazy and contented in this fashion, We need to stop, rise up, do things a new way and take control of our mind. We need to BE a new way and do a new way.

We should focus deliberately on what we want, what we can create and what we can do. We should aim our attention, as a laser beam. at our targets and hit the bullseye with our concentration and efforts. Otherwise, we are like a ship at see without power, sail or oars. We are adrift.

Negative thinking is not only disaster thinking it is ZERO thinking in a particular direction. If the bulk of your thoughts, if most of your time is spent in thinking that takes you nowhere then NO WHERE is where you end up. You won’t go anywhere else.

Negative Thinking Is  ZERO Thinking

I’ll share more next time but please do an inventory. Where do you spend most of your time? It it is zero thinking, caught up in the petty things in life, it is time to change your focus and begin placing your attention where it counts and where it can serve you best. Don’t you think?

If much or most of your thinking is caught up with worry, fear, complaining about circumstances and others, doubt, envy and blame stop it. Don’t blame or criticize yourself just note it and make a point to change it.

Shift your focus, your attention and your energy into what is new and good, what you are grateful for, and what you want and want to accomplish. Focus on blessings and the feeling that comes when you are truly appreciative. Enjoy what you have and you will get more!

Positive Thinking Is Intentional Thinking

If your past has been consumed with thoughts that get you nowhere now is the time to change that. Determine instead where you want to go. You must know where you want to end up in order to begin the journey. You must know where you intend to go.

You need the right fuel in your tank. Start by filling your mind with positive, inspirational, motivational material each day. Read a page or more. Try five minutes. The more time you spend reading is better than how many pages you read. Read positive material.

Listen to positive inspiring speakers on audio. If you are able attend motivational events. Spend time each day focused on the positive, think positive and feel positive.

This IS What You Can Do To Make A Difference For Yourself

Use your car as a traveling university to learn and feel good in. Repeat positive affirmations energetically and enthusiastically while driving safely.

Read positive material. Listen to positive inspiring speakers on audio attend motivational events.  Do it for no less than 30 days and you will begin to notice a shift. You may be crusty and rusty but it will give way to a new wonderful vibrant you ultimately!

You can wonderfully transform your life when you decide now is the right time to make necessary changes. So why not make it a point right now? Commit today!” Rex Sikes

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HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Meanwhile – keep subscribing and following here!!!

Everyday is new and filled with possibilities!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others

Act As If, Creating The Future, Definite Chief Purpose, Focus, Intentional Thinking, Mental Movie Theater, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Rehearsal And Practice, Self Improvement, Visualization

Learn The Secret Successful People Know That You Don’t

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whatever you do do well

“Successful people are able to get the results they desire or better. Other people get whatever they get. They accept their lot in life and hope for the best. Why do the successful people get further than you are able to? What do successful people know and do that you don’t?

Successful people know you have to have a main overriding purpose. You must not only have this purpose but it it must be crystal clear. It must be something you feel passionate about and strongly intend to make happen. Those who succeed are driven to succeed.

The reason others don’t get great results is because they do not know what they want. They aren’t working toward any bigger purpose. They are busy managing the day to day business of life.

They have accepted that one is supposed to get a job, work hard, save for retirement and do the best one can. They do this and live day to day, pay check to pay check. Whatever they end up with is what they get and they make the best of it. Hopefully.

Know What You Want

In order to create the results you want you first have to know exactly what you want. Successful people know where they want to end up before they begin. The destination or the end results is what motivates and drives them to get it. They don’t let the future happen to them. They target their choice.

Write down in detail what you want. Add deadline, a date when you want it by. Be realistic. Be specific. If you don’t know precisely what you want take time to think about it. When you write, whether you are aware of it or not, you use mental movies and images, sounds and feelings.

Write it down and make it as precise and vivid as you are able. This helps you clarify the imagery further. When you write down your purpose you determine where you want to end up and by when. It should excite you. You should feel passionate about it. Eager to make it happen.

Be Passionate About It

If it doesn’t excite you it isn’t what you should be working on. Find whatever it is you are most passionate about, what you must have, that you always wanted, and work on that. The result you go after is the one you absolutely feel you must be, do or have.

Picture it in your mind and see everything you want. See it in detail, make it full, vibrant, real in your mind. Make it an inner movie of how the future IS different, how it is better, how it is wonderful. See the positive future you. Look at yourself in detail and do you like what you see?

Create the future you, in your mind, precisely as you want to be. This Become that person already in your mind with all the positive attributes and characteristics.  imagine yourself as the successful, confident, loving, life affirming, kind, gentle, helpful, healthy, wealthy person you can become if you are not already.

See, Hear, Feel It Vividly And Completely

If this were a fantasy and you could have it any way then imagine it. Keep it real though. Leave out magical flying and abilities and super powers. Set deadlines in the future that are realistic. It has been said there are no unrealistic goals only unrealistic time frames. You ain’t going to be a billionaire next week most likely.

Imagine the definite chief purpose, or your major aim in life, your major dream and your biggest goal as if you have already made it come true. Imagine your life as you want it to be. Script it. Make it as rich and full and as wonderful as you are able to.

See and hear and feel that future completely . See yourself as already the person you want to be.  Notice how you look and how you feel and sound as you move and interact. Watch yourself behave as that person would.

Be Realistic

Watch yourself do everything that future you does. Look at all you have all made happen. Feel how wonderful it feels. Genuinely feel it. This future is the culmination of your positive thoughts and efforts. In this visualization you have made it all happen. You enjoy the results and rewards. This is the end result of your hard work. This future is your prize!

Run these movies in your head of THAT future you, when everything already is realized, and you are enjoying it. As you watch the movie feel incredible. Keep making it better. Adjust it as needed. It is your movie make it what you want. You are the writer, the producer, the director and the star. Make it what you want it to be!

Visualize this as often as you can each day. Spend some time morning and night. Begin today. As with all exercise and ability we get better with practice. Do the best you are able to. You may surprise yourself with how easy it is.

Live It In Your Mind As If You Already Have It

If it is not so easy at first, it will become easier as you continue to do this. Regardless, of how well or poorly you do this at first, you are already doing some version of this in your head most of the time.

Whatever you are getting or have gotten in life, your circumstances, are already the results of what you are already doing with or without awareness. If you want to get better results you have to be deliberate about making things better. This is what I call Intentional Thinking.

You begin to create and get what you intend to instead of accepting whatever happens. You stop inadvertently creating what you don’t want and begin to get what you do want. You begin to get what you want because you clarified it in your mind and you continue to focus on it frequently during the day. What we think about we become!

Enjoy The Best Feelings You Can As Often As You Can

You can begin to get the wonderful life you want and deserve. Determine how much time each day you spend thinking about what you want versus being distracted, taking care of ‘business’, or focused on what you don’t want.

See your major dreams. Live them in your head. Feel the marvelous feelings fully. Enjoy feeling these feelings as much of the time as you are able. The wonderful feelings you have drive the show. These feelings make your mental movies work. Enjoy and enhance the positive feelings! You get back more of what you put out!

Read what you wrote down at least twice a day. Hang out in your Mental Movie Theater as often as you can. Spend enough time each day deliberately using your imagination to create what you want. You need to spend more time thinking about it and feeling good about it than not doing it. Close your eyes, relax and visualize” Rex Sikes

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HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Meanwhile – keep subscribing and following here!!!

Have a delightful  day!!!

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Are You Ready To Get Serious About Living & Working Happily?

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everyday you have a choice

“Some people believe they are positive thinkers but they are not. They may be quite negative. Ask someone, ‘what do you want in a mate?’  This person answers, ‘They must not be a smoker. The shouldn’t lie. I don’t want a person who cheats’. On and on they can go.

Instead of thinking of what they want and what they can do they think of what they don’t want and can’t do. Often, they are not open to what life and others offer. Instead of seeing possibilities they see limitations. Frequently, they may try to enforce those on others.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Love them anyway. Don’t argue with them it is most likely a poor use of your time.  Don’t try to convert them they will come around when they come around. Let them be and accept them for who they are. Let your light shine rather than try to persuade them.

Don’t let them rain on your parade either. You can be around them but also find positive, inspiring people to hang with. Find positive mentors that have and do what you’d like to. Seek out people who love life and are fun to be with.

Think 80/20 rule. Spend 80%, at least 80%, of your time and energy surrounded by positive people, thoughts and energy. When you do this your life transforms wonderfully and more quickly.

The more time you spend feeling good, speaking good, thinking good the faster your life changes and the more wonderful it becomes! Aim to think and feel your very best. Have fun and enjoy life. Celebrate and be grateful!

What You Think About You Bring About

Keep your thoughts, feelings and words positive. Speak only to bless, heal and prosper yourself and others. When you talk about your circumstances keep them positive and  about what you want. Think of yourself as a powerful creator (whether you think it is true or not).

Imagine that whatever you say comes to be. You bring into being what you think about and talk about. What you say to yourself, your self-talk, and what you say when conversing with others. Are you creating more of what you want or more of what you do not want?

That is an important question? With which do you spend most of your time? It is so easy to complain and speak ill of circumstances. Stop it!

Words Have Power: Be Careful What You Say

Speak only to what you what to make happen. EVEN if you don’t yet know how it is possible. You can always say, ‘I don’t know how or when but I know good things are happening’. If someone asks you how you know that you can say, ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I just know’.

What you think about you bring about, What you speak you manifest. Align your thoughts, feelings, words and actions to be of the highest most positive kind and you will live a blessed life. You will heal and prosper. Make a point of it. Celebrate everything and your joy will know no bounds!” Rex Sikes

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HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Meanwhile – keep subscribing and following here!!!

Have a fantastic  day!!!

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He Turned His Back On The Lions. Could You?

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“Can you imagine turning your back on the lions if you were stuck in a cage with them? That is what he did. Before we get to that I want to remind you of an ancient piece of wisdom you might like to consider and embrace.

There’s an ancient story to illustrate the way you can remain centered and not get hooked.  In order to get unhooked and not buy into drama you have to develop another attitude, a different mindset. Once this mindset is in place all aspects of your world become different. Everything is enhanced.

There was a man whose horse ran away. The villagers exclaimed what a misfortune this was. The man replied, ‘maybe’.  A day or two later the horse returned bringing with it three more horses. The town people exclaimed, ‘you are lucky how fortunate to have more’. The man replied again only with ‘maybe’.

A day or two later his son was riding one of the new horses  and was thrown breaking his leg. The town people exclaimed what a tragedy this was and again offered him sympathy. The man replied, ‘maybe’.

The next day war broke out and all able bodied men were conscripted. The military officials seeing the condition of the man’s son passed him by. The towns people all exclaimed how lucky he was because now his son would face battle. He and his son had been spared.  The man still replied, ‘maybe’.

We only see part of the picture at any time. The man knew anything is possible. The town’s people only saw a portion and reacted. We can let go of the outcome and respond as the man did if we condition ourselves to understand this. We only see a partial bit of any picture.

Anything is possible. It could be a blessing or a curse.  It could be true, as they say, or perhaps it could be otherwise. Time would tell. We don’t have to react we can respond.

It was stated this way in the Bible, ‘we see through a glass dimly’. We can’t see everything. We can’t possibly know everything. Yet, we act as if we do and that gets us in trouble. We have to let go, suspend our judgement. This present situation could be horrible or it could be the best thing that ever happened. We don’t know yet.

Often people look back years after hardship and they can trace the path from then to now. From this vantage point, years later, frequently they point to a cataclysmic event and say ,’that was the turning point for me. Had that not happened I wouldn’t be here now’, or ‘I wouldn’t be as successful as I am. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.’

Years later we see what we didn’t see it going through it. At the time of the event It doesn’t occur to us that this may be an incredible opportunity disguised as a disaster. Nor do we see it could be a legitimate disaster within which there is the seed of an opportunity.

We don’t know. Maybe we should suspend judgement. The verdict is not in yet and we should wait and see.

The old man knew you can label any situation however you want to label it and that does not make it so. He didn’t judge it so he didn’t get caught up by it.

He didn’t get hooked into it as the others did.They lived one moment happy and the next upset. Then happy then upset. They were like corks adrift on a sea.

The old man was steady whatever came his way he took it in stride. He was the one in charge. The world still occurred around him and influenced he and his son but he chose how he would respond to his circumstance. The old man was wise. You and I can be too.

If you make a mistake on your journey and you do something that disappoints you, or you are not proud of, acknowledge it. Recognize it. Determine not to do it in the future and choose what and how you want to respond instead.

Focus on what you want. Do not what you don’t want. Praise yourself, be grateful for the awareness and the opportunity to change it. Make restitution with yourself and whomever else may be party to it.

Do the best you have with what you have at the time.  If you make a mistake, if you fall, correct it, get up and move forward. Let go of the past. Extract the important lesson to learn. Don’t blame yourself or others or make excuses. Accept it and move forward.

You can evolve when you learn from mistakes and failures. You have the opportunity to clarify what you want when smacked in the face with what you don’t want. All can benefit you in profound ways. So fill yourself with gratitude and celebration.

Condition your mind. What you focus on you become. Develop the belief that you are the type of person who can handle anything in positive ways. If you believe it you can become that person. If you believe you can respond instead of react then you will develop the ability.

Your attitude determines your altitude! Your mindset, what you believe and expect of yourself, determines what results you are able to create or get back.

Focus on living a positive life. Focus on learning to respond. Think ‘this or something better is coming to me’.

There is the biblical story of Daniel and the lions. Daniel was thrown into a den of lions. Once inside he turned his back on the lions and trusted the lord.

What a poignant teaching example.Trust! Have faith! He turned his back on and ignored his troubles. He didn’t look at them. He looked elsewhere. He trusted.

He didn’t focus on his worry, fear, or doubt, he looked away. He turned away from what he didn’t want and towards what he wanted. He let go of the problem and had faith that he would be okay.

Of course, he didn’t know he would be okay. It took faith. It took courage. It took trust that there was something better. It took the conviction that these circumstances would not defeat him.

Whether you take the story literally or as a metaphor there is great value in it. He faced his problems and then turned from his problems to the solution. He had faith that the outcome would be positive. What a great example!

At this time, you could be enduring your own personal “den of lions”. The key is not to put your focus on your current situation but trust that it will all work out. Put your focus on what you want, the solution, and not on the problem. Create and make happen what you want to make happen. Don’t succumb to the circumstances.

A couple of my favorite Bible verse are: ‘all things work together for good.’ There are many others in all ancient texts I like. I keep them in mind during trying times. Another one, I remind myself of, again and again, is ‘no weapon formed against me shall prosper’.

Expect the best!

I like those two verses because they reminds me I can move through this world, and any situation, with confidence things will always turn out right no matter what. I will always land on my feet. Everything will work out in the end.

There may be an incredible hardship you face right now but ultimately, things will turn out for the best in the long run. They always seem to. Keep it in mind. Learn to respond as the old man. Trust, as Daniel did.

When I remember this I can let things go. I move forward and surprise myself with my ‘enlightened’ responses. When I forget it I get hooked hard. Usually because a big part of me knows I don’t have to be hooked but I go ahead and get hooked anyway. Silly, right?

We are not perfect and shouldn’t hope to be. We are perfectly imperfect. We are living beings we aren’t carved from stone. We live, we change, we grow, we adapt and we don’t.

Sometimes we remain stuck for awhile. Sometimes we walk backwards, but usually for not very far. At times we walk in the light other times we search in darkness. We will make mistakes.

We will disappoint ourselves and others. Make good when we do. Never ignore that. Do what is right by you and by them. Always have faith in a better day. The sun rises tomorrow. It becomes a new day.

Take 100% responsibility for creating all circumstances. Trust that things will work out. Expect them to. Focus on what you want. Make your dreams come true because only you can. Believe it. What you think about the most you become.

Affirm it. Live It! These blog pages give you the keys how to do this. You can develop the champion mindset. Use these principles and methods to evolve your life into something beyond wonderful! You can live, laugh, love! Celebrate!” Rex Sikes

Delight in this day!

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Acceptance, Attitude, Focus, Forgiveness, Healthy Choices, Living In The Moment, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development, Responsibility, Self Improvement

What To Do When You Lose Your Temper

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no excuses - when you really matter

“Have you ever lost it? Have you ever behaved opposite of how you wished or hoped you would behave? Have you ever been totally fine, even cool, when, for whatever the reason, you lost your cool, you were no longer fine and you exploded?

The next thing you know you are ranting or wailing and that is not ever what you wanted to happen.

Stop! Take some deep breaths. Just stop and breathe. Walk it off. Give your body a pause and move it to utilize the adrenaline that has flooded your system. Allow yourself to settle.

Shift your focus to things you enjoy. That is why they tell you to count to ten to distract yourself. So you create a pause. Shift to things that you enjoy and want to make happen. Relax your focus on what wasn’t working.

Let it go. Later, return and look for solutions. Learn from the moment. Think (manage your self-talk). I use affirmations such as “everything works out for me’, ‘no weapon formed against me shall prosper’, ‘all things work together for good’, ‘great things are coming to me even though I can’t yet see what they are’. Fill your mind with positivity!

Have you ever lost it? I SURE HAVE. I have lost it many times. Sometimes everything is going well and bam, something happened and I lost it. I lost control of my temper, or emotions. Sometimes it seems everything sucked and finally, bam! I lost it.

Take Responsibility

I have I admit it. I take responsibility for it. When it happens I am not necessarily happy about it but I accept it. I have learned not to regret it or shame myself for it. However, if it involves another person, I do the responsible thing and apologize and attempt to make good on it.

If no one else is involved I apologize to myself and make good on it.

I accept that it happened. I move on. I steer back to center and intend for a better day. I go inside my mental movie theater and make adjustments. I watch the situation unfold, i rearrange it, change it, free myself from it and program myself for future positiver behavior instead.

I have learned that when I lose it I am focused on the wrong thing. I am focused on what I don’t want. If I have lost it I have gotten caught up or hooked by what I don’t want in that moment.

When I become aware that I was caught up I acknowledge that I got hooked and celebrate that I noticed. I extract whatever learning I can from the situation and move on. Less and less I get caught up as a result. I lose it less frequently altogether. Life is much more what I want and intend it to be.

Shift Your Focus To What You Want

Still, every now and then are moments. These moments teach me a few things. We are all human, we all make mistakes.  Don’t linger in the crap but return swiftly to the golden moments and opportunity. Be responsible and do the right thing. Accept the consequences of your actions.

I learn I am more in control than I think and yet, I should never consider myself a hotshot or two big for my britches. I also know that it doesn’t ever help to make excuses, whine or blame others even if they actually were the cause.

It does nothing to assign blame. You’d think it would bring satisfaction or some sort of better feelings, or relief or resolve but it doesn’t. Blame is its own form of punishment. I prefer not to get hooked twice.

I realize that if I lost it there is a lesson I haven’t learned yet. I look for what that lesson might be. I think I find it and maybe I do. On the other hand, perhaps, the lesson I found isn’t the one and there is still more to learn.

There are few people who can get me but they still are there. I used to think it was about them. I know it is an opportunity for me to transcend being  ‘gotten to’. They are there to test me and provoke me so I can be better.

What You Resist Persists. Let Go

Do I think this is accidental or by divine design, nope. It just is. Anyone is free too conclude or believe what they wish as far as I am concerned.

Would it be easier if these ‘trying’ people went away. Perhaps, but if I am not free others might just take their place. So I might as well learn to get over these people, or these events, situations, and circumstances! Whatever it is, persists until I stop resisting.

It is like my blog about traffic and surrender. Whatever is is. You can resist, fight and cause yourself and others pain (sometimes I do) other times I surrender, relax and accept. I think more and more it is all about surrender. Letting go and going with the flow.

I think ultimately you learn to create your future the way you want so you can relax about the past and forgive and let go, so you can enjoy whatever the present presents. If you can live and celebrate everything, really celebrate and appreciate. no matter what, then life is absolutely amazing!

The more I find this moment perfect, whatever it is, the more I enjoy each moment. I can still intend to create beautiful things for tomorrow. I can intend health, wealth, well-being and a happy future without losing sight of the glorious now.

Being human means ups and downs. That seems to be the way it is. It seems everything is in flux. Happily there is change and we can change too. I’d hate to think we were predestined.

Be Flexible, Be Forgiving  Be Kind

I look at Bible stories sometimes and find messages and comfort. I look at all sorts of philosophical text. One story comes to mind. The story of Lot and his wife. Many people think it about sin and punishment.

I think of it this way. The ‘sin’ was the old way. I’m not calling it good or bad.  It was the old way of doing things. Lot and his family turned from what they didn’t want, the old way, and toward what they did want.

They left, traveled, moved toward the new. They left the city representing the old way of being and doing (what they did not want) to head to a new destination (what they do want).

Lot’s wife looked back and was frozen in a moment as a pillar of sand. She froze while focused on the old way. She got caught by what she did not want.

Okay, maybe this is not what the story is about at all. But it could be.

When we take our eyes off where we are headed we freeze. We can not move forward looking backwards. We have to keep moving in the positive and worthwhile direction.

Create What You Want Don’t Get Caught In What You Don’t Want

We need to focus on what it is we want and not get trapped by what we don’t want or negative circumstances. Keep our sight on what we want to create that is good and new.

If we fall we get up. If we make a mistake we correct it. Abusing ourself or others with harsh words and bad feelings does not help. Nor does it benefit to treat ourselves with harsh words. Be gentle and kind.

We all make mistakes. We all get hooked noe and then. It is okay. We are human. If we had no possibility to fail we would be robots. We would have no choice. We could not create. We would never learn and our enjoyment would be limited.

Because we can fail we can also triumph. We can celebrate all. We can be victorious and fill our life with greater meaning. We can delight in all things. We can live fully no matter what. I’m glad we have choice. I’m happy we can make mistakes and correct them. It means we can do anything!” Rex Sikes

How often can you smile today?

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The Secret To Making The Changes You Need To

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there is nothing impossible

“Are you aware that making personal change is quite simple and easy? It really is.  It just doesn’t seem that way and that is because you don’t think or believe it is. It really is! It is true!

Most people don’t have to be unhappy, lonely, unsuccessful, broke, in poorer health, they just think they do. They don’t. You don’t! There is a way that you can be, do and have everything you want

Change can be quite easy. People can change.You can be whatever you want to be, do and have whatever you want in life. You can make it happen more easily than you may have ever imagined. You can end bad unwanted habits and create new better ones..

The caveat is this:

It Isn’t Seeing Is Believing It’s Believing Is Seeing

HOW we think about something makes it true for us. Our beliefs actually make it so. The results we get or don’t get are directly related to what we think and believe inside our head first.

I know plenty of people will object to this concept. It will get some people hot as they argue for objective reality imposing on us. These arguments or discussions have been around for a long time.

From, ‘I think therefore I am’, to ‘If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?’ People will find excuses to defend what they already believe rather than trying on new beliefs that serve them better.

There is enough research that anyone can find. I am not going to debate it here.That is not a fruitful use of mine or your time. I ask you to consider this. What if everything you knew were wrong? What would life be life? It surely would be different, how?

I ask this because it isn’t about making assertions it is about becoming open. It is about becoming curious and being able to entertain concepts rather than dismiss them because we disagree with them. There is the Zen story about the master who sent the seeker away because his tea cup was already full.

You Cannot Pour More Tea Into A Full Cup

You must first empty the cup, the master pointed out, then new tea can be poured in. We all have full, completely filled, heads. We have all the assumptions, reasons, excuses, why we are who we are and do and have what we do and have.

We need to let these go. We need to suspend our beliefs, at least momentarily, to even be able to entertain new ideas or new beliefs. We need to be open, empty and available to a new way of thinking and being in order to even attempt it. When the student is ready the teacher appears. Then new tea can be given. Then, life can change!

It is asking better questions that lead us to more useful outcomes. It is not declaring something wrong before trying it out. Curiosity and the willingness to explore opens us up to the possibility of adventure. Dismissal out of hand, too quick, simply shuts everything down. Either we expand, contract or remain the same.

The Flower Is Either Growing Or It Is Dying

Can you be open? It is easy to be open. It just doesn’t seem that way.

Whatever you declare makes it so. You are doing it right now as you read. You either agree or you don’t. You may be one of those who suspend judgement until more data becomes available but more probably you are either agreeing or disagreeing with each statement How open and available are you to entertain new ideas?

We can be, do and have anything in life if we want it. Would you agree? If yes, why? If not, why not? Your answers reveal your beliefs. Either you believe you can or you believe you can’t. You will have reasons why you believe either way. These beliefs and reasons determine the results you get or don’t get.

You Can Be, Do And Have Anything You Want

We can be, do and have anything in life if we want it. Yet, most people don’t come close. A few do. It seems they have unlocked the secret while the rest have not. Others believe god (or the universe) selects certain people to bless and others to fail. OR they believe some are just incredibly lucky while most are not.

People have been taught the secret for eons.  Some people figure it out by accident, which is certainly possible. However, they come to it they come to it. Once exposed to it they either apply it or not. Those who do know what happens as a result. Those who don’t never know.

Either You Believe It Is Possible For You Or You Don’t

Let me provide an example. Let’s take a plank the width of a door, in fact lets take a solid wood plank 2x the width of a door. That is probably about the width of a normal sidewalk. It’s length is 100 feet long. It is as solid as anything can be solid. 100 feet long and about 5 or 6 feet wide and strong.

I put this plank down on the ground and ask you to walk. Do you think you could? Probably, it is the same as walking on the sidewalk. Most people could do so without any thought or effort.You could walk, might even run, skip or hop your way along the board for the 100 feet. No big deal, right?

Ok so I raise it 20 feet in the air. Would you walk it?  Some would some would not. Raise this same plank 100 feet in the air would you walk it?  Fewer would walk it. If we could raise it a half a mile would you walk it? Few ever say yes. I’ve had a difficult time finding anyone to say yes, ‘I’ll gladly walk it’.  Would you?

Why, do most people opt out when it gets raised from the ground? The plank has not changed. It is the same plank people traversed easily while on the ground.  What changed is people’s thoughts about it.

They are fearful of the height. They imagine themselves falling. The higher up the fewer people willing to walk it because they get frightened. They imagine bad things in their mind. BUT Nothing has actually changed.

Our Beliefs Determine What We Will And Won’t Do

Our beliefs determine what we will and won’t even consider. You realize this right? Absolutely, nothing changed. The plank high in the air is exactly the same one easily walked on the ground. What changed was inside one’s head.

Their beliefs changed. What they imagined happening changed. How they felt as a result changed. They couldn’t imagine walking it because of what they were thinking. This meant they wouldn’t even try. If you don’t attempt it you don’t get any results at all.

It isn’t much different than being afraid of a spider. The spider is millions of times smaller than the human but some humans freeze with fear. It is what the human thinks, sees, tells oneself inside one’s head that makes the tiny spider scary.

Our Beliefs Determine What Is Easy And What Is Not

Our beliefs determine what we do AND do not do. Our beliefs determine what is and isn’t possible for us; what is difficult or easy; what takes time or no time. Whether we move forward and change easily or not has to do with our beliefs.

Does that mean if I believe I can jump over the moon I will be able to? No, it doesn’t. I honestly, don’t know if you could or not but I suspect the answer is no. I am not suggesting ‘impossible’ things. But some people think they can no more succeed than they could jump over the moon. That is sad. That is not comparing apples to apples.

Can you make a million dollars by tomorrow? Well, you could. You might. It may be rarer to do that but it could happen. Some people play the lottery and get lucky and become rich with the drop of 6 balls. So it is possible but not likely.

It isn’t about magic. It is not that you wave a wand and things happen because you believe.  It is the practical application of your positive mindset and expectations that determine how successfully you move in the world.

Could you make a million dollars?  Yes.  You certainly can if you believe you can and go after it?  Can you be happy after living a lifetime of sadness. Yes. Can change can be easier than you think it is? Yes!  Sadly, most people think it is tough and never both to change what they believe.

Your Beliefs Work For You – You Shouldn’t Be Their Servant

Why have you come to have these beliefs? Who cares? We could discuss that forever. The question is will you begin to expand your beliefs and abilities so you can live happily and be who you want to be, feel what you want to feel, do what you want to do and get what you want to have.

Don’t let your thoughts prevent you. Have the courage to challenge your thoughts. Make your mental constructs, your images and self talk your servant.  Make these work for you instead of being their servant. You can triumph and be a champion or you can be a victim or remain stuck.

Getting to where you want to get in life is just like getting anywhere in life. You have to know where you want to go, believe you can get there and then get moving. If anything comes along to interrupt or make the travel difficult, adjust your map, but keep going. Obstacles may arise. Keep going! In real life obstacles represent opportunity.

The Poor And The Powerless Fear Failure And Hardship.

Some people won’t even try because they don’t want to fail. That may be safe and assures you that nothing changes. If you don’t try you won’t fail but you also are not likely to ever succeed.

The successful and rich people don’t fear failure. They don’t even consider it an option. They know they will succeed. They know that they will learn more from attempts that don’t work out than from immediate success. They know they will succeed even when they don’t know how.

The successful understand that knowing how isn’t what you need to begin. How will become clear along the journey. They understand that they only need to determine to win and go after it and they will figure it out along the way AND make their dreams come true. They don’t let anything stop them.

They know that challenges equip them with more of what they need to triumph. Their attitude, their beliefs are different. Their mindset supports them. They are in charge. They don’t let the thought of defeat or actual defeat prevent them from making good in the end.

The Successful Know In Advance They Will Succeed

Failure nearly always precedes success. If you interview most of the self made millionaires and influential people you’ll discovered nearly all of them overcame incredible odds. For most, it was anything but easy. Yet, they prevailed. They did because of their mindset.

The people who succeed know they must continue. They are driven. They are passionate about making a difference. They believe they ultimately succeed no matter what. So they do! Attitude separates the wheat from the chaff.

Mindset determines how far you will be willing to go. ‘If you think you can or you think you can’t you are right.’ said Henry Ford. He was right.

Are you willing to suspend your doubt, your suspicion, your fear, your worries, your know it all attitude, or your ‘I don’t know enough’ attitude to allow yourself to try on some new beliefs. Can you begin to believe you can make it happen and that you can change easily?

I know there will be those who can change their beliefs as they would a spring jacket. They will move forward changing and surprising themselves and delighting along the way. They will encounter difficulty but they won’t let it stop them.

I also know there are those who will cling to what they have always believed and always known. Those will dismiss this proposal out of hand as silly or too hard or  impossible. These people will remain the same.

Decide To Be The Victor, The Champion, The Winner

Change is easier than you think it is OR it is as tough as you think it is. (I’ll continue to address this in other upcoming blogs.)

It is whatever you believe it to be. Your thoughts either move you forward toward what you want OR they stop you and hold you back. You are either the controller, the victor of your thoughts or you are the victim of your thoughts.

At any moment you can chose to be a champion if you will let yourself. Take responsibility and recognize you have a choice. You have a decision to make. Which type of person are you? Which type of person do you want to be? Which type of person will you be? It is completely up to you! Decide today!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today. Make it exciting!

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Don’t Blow Your Top! Do This Instead!

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the choice to have a great attitude

“If you have ever felt like you were going to blow your top and you don’t want to you can do this to calm down. Getting angry or getting angrier may not be what is most needed in the moment and you want to be able to be productive and not lose control. How do you get a grip?

When unwanted feelings arise you need to shift into neutral, create a break state, a pause and then shift direction. It is too difficult sometimes to just change. You can steer it as in Aikido. You use the energy offered and direct it elsewhere. That is what we are doing.

You Can Easily Make Changes When You  Know How

Head on is too difficult. I have discussed why in previous blog posts. When the momentum is great it is hard to just stop it. You will need to do something first if you haven’t stopped it at the onset. That something you need to add in is the neutral, break state.

A neutral space makes making changes easier because you create a pause when you are being flooded with feelings. The key is to catch the emotional flooding right at the beginning.

This is  important. So whenever practice becoming aware at that very moment. Still, this is so powerful you can use it anytime too.

This blog is continued from previous blogs. If you have not yet read those or done the exercises please go read those first. Spend some time developing your skills through mental rehearsal and then return to this one.

Use mental rehearsal to learn what to do when unwanted feelings arise. For example, when you drive a car you know there is a neutral position on your gear shift. In essence, you always go through neutral when you shift gears and change direction.

This exercise will have you create an important neutral space from which you can more easily and readily change. You can use it any time, anywhere, whenever you feel stressed or want to change feelings or thought direction in your mind.

Rehearse And Practice The Skill To Acquire The Skill 

It is powerful and can be instantaneous. There may be times when you want to repeat it. It is simple and easy and all you have to do is remember to use it.

That is why we mentally rehearse. You travel in advance of the world so as things come up when you want to use it you will. This is the reason actors, musicians and others rehearse and athletic teams practice.

One of the most powerful tools to use when you need to change your emotional reactions so you can respond more wisely and productively is only a breath away. It is literally taking a deep breath.

A deep breath shifts so many things in your being. It changes the energy moving in your body. If you let out a sigh while breathing it is all the better. That sigh of relief, the sound accompanying  the breath, enhances relaxation.

When things are getting hot and you find yourself moving in a direction you do want engage the following.

First learn it and practice it. Then use it when every you need to. Do it in everyday life as soon as possible. It will help greatly.

You Want To Create A Space, A Pause – Take A Break

Go back to another difficult time. Mild. See the events unfold. The usual sequence of events that lead up to that point where you would have gotten angry, frustrated, fearful, worried, sad, confused, overwhelmed whatever it may be.

Watch it in your mind in your mental movie theater and when you get to that point where you would lose it STOP and watch yourself take a deep breath! Then another.

Watch yourself create space by stopping and taking a deep breath. Watch yourself shift your physiology. Shift your body, alter how you stand and move. Breathe and shift. Walk it off! Take a break from your problem.

Take a pause when things start to get critical. Everything is moving along and then suddenly you are going in a direction you don’t want. STOP, take a deep breath, shift your body, walk or do something different AND CHOOSE A POSITIVE RESOURCE.

Go through this process just as described and you watch yourself get to the point where you, would have in the past behaved in less than glorious ways only this time, see yourself stop, take a deep breath, shift your physiology and behave in the new resourceful way. From start to finish. Do you like what you see?

Adjust It As Necessary

Stop and take a deep breath and add in the new resource. Realize you have new choices available to you. You you can  walk it off right where you are. Manage you self talk. Say positive things.  Now you can respond with positive choices. Watch it to the end and then when it finishes shake it off (literally shake yourself a bit).

Once you have recoded one experience from your past then pick at least 3 more times when you have similar response. Change those in your mind. Shake it off after each repetition of the exercise. Let’s say you do one situation 3x you shake off after each time. Then you pick another time and do it 3x with shake 3x and then the last 3x 3x.

Remember to use the shake to change your physiology and end the process. Then take a moment and go back do it again.

Seeing And Hearing And Feeling On The Inside (POV)

Use the other way of seeing and experiencing.

Rerun the process from your POV. Go back and imagine it from this vantage point. From within you can feel the feelings change as you go from the beginning to the critical moment.

Just before that less than glorious eruption you say stop (inside your head) and you feel yourself take a deep breath (and another). You sigh as you let the air out.

Feel the pause or a break in the action, create space, walk it off, manage your positive self talk  and choose the resource you have been using for this.

See it, hear it, feel it! Notice how it is different. Feel the changes. Celebrate it and Live it. Then realize that is how it can be in the future. Do it again and again until you feel great about it

Then pick 3 more times when you have similar response. Change those in your mind. Remember, to shake it off after each time.

Maybe once is all you need but since we become what we think about repeat this exercise again and again. Do it daily. Remember you are learning a sequence of behaviors. You are taking charge of your mental behaviors and learning a process.

Take time to go into your past and find resources. Build your library of resources. Go  into your past difficulties and change them from being a limitation into a resource. Recode the past by applying a resource where and when it was needed. You are transforming and recoding past memories.

Do you realize this about the situation you changed? That was how it was in the past. It could have been different in the past. It wasn’t you did whatever you did  back then and that is okay. That was then and you did your best with what you knew.

It could have been a more resourceful time for you but it wasn’t. Accept it. BUT now you have just recoded it as more resourceful. You have imagined what it would have been like to have had that resource and how things could have been different.

SO stop now and  realize you can be more resourceful in the present and the future too. You have more resources you can use when you need to.

Create The Future The Way You Want It To Be

You also are a creator. You can create. You know there may be some situations in the future that could give you difficulty because they may have in the past. These are those situations that seem to happen again and again ever so often. To begin practice pick a mild one of these. Always start with mild. Now let’s recode the future too!

Imagine, in your mental movie theater that future you. Repeat the process watching it unfold up until the point where you stop, take a deep breath and change it from being a difficulty into a resourceful moment. You repeat this exercise as the previous one  doing it from start to finish and shaking it off.  Repeat 3x or more. Shake it off after each time.  Then repeat the process  from your POV.

Do this whenever you need to get some space between you and whatever is going on. Perhaps, some driver pisses you off, change it. Take a deep breath, relax slow down, enjoy the drive. Practice this it could be really important some day.

A boss or co-worker is on your back, take a deep breath, sigh and change the energy. Take a break, go to the restroom, calm down and return. Trouble with a family member or loved one. Don’t lose your cool take a breath. Anytime and anywhere this can save the moment Use it.

Re- Cap

This process allows you to recode the past and prepare for the future. During both you search for and apply resources. During both you stop, create a break state or a pause, you use your physiology differently, and you continue forward having chosen a resource.

You are always welcome to add in more than one resource. One is usually plenty, but sometimes adding in two or three presents us with even more awareness and opportunity. So feel free to repeat the exercise (just as described) only with a new and different resource each time.

You may also magnify those feeling 2, or 3 or even 5 times in intensity. It is your mind and you can ramp it up. You already know how to make things more intense in real life. We have volume controls and dials.

You turn it up or press a button. You can do the same thing within your mental movie theater. Re-live it from your point of view  and enhance and amplify the wonderful feelings! You know when you have had some energy and when you have been super charged. Pick the more intense examples to use.

Use It And Transform Your LIfe

In the real world you will behave and act more productively as this a becomes habit. Take the time to practice and make it automatic. In the coming days if you have an episode and you respond in the new way, positively, fantastic!

If you don’t and you loose control, no worries!  Everyone of us can slip and fall now and then. Pat yourself on the back for becoming aware. Recognize what happened, what you might have done differently, and immediately do the mental exercise for how you’d like to be next time.

Get feedback from the situation, learn from it and continue your practice. What is awesome about the human mind is that you might start off spending 20 or 30 minutes a day, practicing for a month or more to make it a habit.

During this time frame you may be using it too. I hope so! Eventually, you will be do it in less time inside your head. Then even less time. Before long you will run the process in seconds in real life whenever you need to.

Regarding learning and practicing new skills. A flower it takes time to grow. So does a new skill. Stick with it. As you resolve these situations pick other people or situations where you don’t respond as you would like to and work on those too.

Use It Or Lose It

Soon you will have re-coded and re-routed lots of difficult situations. You will have used your mind to change your behaviors. You have taken charge so enjoy it! Celebrate it and validate it.

Any time you fall, get back up, learn from it and do the new behavior in your mind a more productive way. Recognize what you don’t want but stop focusing on it. Drop it and focus on what you do want instead. Remember, we get what we think about most!

Don’t wallow about  the old address. You have moved to a new location. Aim your mind in the direction of the new one.

It’s simple to understand, You practice and rehearse what you want for the future. You use your mind the way an actor or athletic team uses rehearsal or practice time. In your mind you act as if you have all the resources you need in any situation. You imagine and act how you want to be.

Our mind doesn’t know the difference between a mental images and images seen through our eyes. That is why this works. We can create a new self image and practice new behaviors. The more you rehearse and practice the better you get.  The better you get with it the more you get it in your real life

Use these processes to overcome your difficulties, and learn new ways to be. You can and will transform your life positively if you want to.

What you rehearse, fill your mind with, think about and focus on for most of your time expands. You get and become what you think about. Use your mental movie theater to bring you all sorts of wonderfulness now and in the future! Enjoy making your life more the way you want it to be.  Be grateful and be glad! More to come!” Rex Sikes

Use today to live a new way!

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Act As If, Attitude, Confidence, Creating The Future, Creator, Emotions, Focus, Getting Over The Past, Habit Formation, Happiness, Mental Movie Theater, Neuro Linguistic Programming, NLP, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Rehearsal And Practice, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Success, Unlimited Power, Visualization

Use This Powerful Way To Keep From Losing It

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movie-theatre

“Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to change a moment of difficulty into a less difficult moment? If you could take a stressful situation and de-stress it would you like to be able to do that? There are ways to alter what is happening so that the outcome you get is positive instead of negative.

In this follow up blog post I’ll share with you a method. If you haven’t read the previous blog post go back and read that first. IF YOU HAVEN’T practiced what I shared with you last time spend some time doing that prior to adding in these steps. You want to build a house on a strong foundation so that it stands.

You want to build your abilities the same way. Before, anything else get used to looking for positive past experiences and re-living them. Hopefully, you have started building a library of positive resources. You have also practiced creating the future by imagining that resourceful you in times when you want to be more resourceful.

If you are a regular reader of my blog you know only a day has gone by.  Keep in mind there is no rush. Practice the first part until you are facile with it. Then you can add this in. This information you read now can wait while you gain experience in the other first, but you will know the direction we are headed.

As I mentioned in the previous blog, read through this a number of times to familiarize yourself with the process. Once you get the idea of it  you can do it while reading through it, or better, as I suggested you can record parts of the process and play them back slowly while you go though it. You will lead yourself through it so be sure to give yourself enough time to do everything thoroughly if you record it.

Build Skills Bit By Bit. Only Move From One Skill On After Getting Good At It

Practice what I share with you in this blog. You can do it easily in the privacy of your own home. In a short while you will notice yourself responding even more productively and positively and your life changing for the better.

Continue to make the positive changes utilizing your Inner Mental Movie Theater. Are you ready and eager to learn more? I’m going to give you some today and then more in subsequent blogs.

Determine How You’d Like To Be And Feel And Behave (Respond) In Difficult Or Less Than Glorious Situations

AT FIRST, pick a mild situation to begin. You can get to the tougher ones later. Start with easier ones while you learn the to go through this process. I mean this! Work your way up from easiest to the toughest in time. Over a period of days or weeks. Get good at the process before trying it on tougher times. Crawl before you walk!

Pick A Mild Situation To Begin With

There are times when you are simply less than glorious. Sometimes you aren’t thinking positively, you’re feeling down or upset, just not optimal.

Choose one to work with. Just one experience at a time. Be specific. Think, ‘I have difficulty when…’  and pick one. It may be in a particular situation, or with a particular person or there is some activity that gives you difficulty.

Find a time and or place where you could use a resource. Said differently, find a time in real life when you could use thinking and behaving more resourcefully.

There are moments in life when things can go any which way but instead of going how we want them to go they end up less than glorious. We loose our cool, we get frustrated or angry, we give in or give up, we cry, we shout, we say things we didn’t mean.

Instead of keeping our cool and being calm or confident we get stressed, harried, fearful or worried.

You most probably have had moments like that in the past. Pick a specific one. Chose a milder one to begin with, remember. Choose an easy one! I mean this! Crawl before you walk! Keep this in mind.

Then go back to my statement above, determine how you’d like to be and feel and behave in this situation instead of how you did in the situation. Consider what would be a more productive, positive way to behave instead of how you used to behave.

Any Resource Is Better Than No Resource

You can pick a specific resource for the situation because you think it would be better. For example, you weren’t confident and you wished you had confidence. That can make it better, yes.

That could be a good resource to have in that situation. Perhaps. A sense of humor might be a good resource to have as well.  Perhaps, having the ability to laugh or be silly at that moment would have made it better. Anything is possible. Any resources can transform.

Maybe being patience, or happy or calm or curious would have been better. Curiosity, can be a great resource! The point is there is the resource we THINK would make it better when, in fact, almost any resource would have made it better. This is what is so cool!

It would not have been the difficulty it was and you would have gotten a different outcome if you’d had any number of resources available. Do you get that? There are numerous possibilities! The only limitations we have are the ones we allow. We are really only limited by what we can’t yet consider an asset or opportunity.

Had you moved into ANY other positive state than the less than glorious one you ended up with, it would led to a different outcome. Right? You understand that, don’t you?  If not think about it a bit. However the situation played out, any positive resource would have made it different and somewhat better. Maybe completely better!

If it is somewhat better, that is better! So any positive new resource is better than no resource. It is NOT a matter of trying to find the ultimate, perfect resource it is a matter of choosing any resource that will lead you to a more productive outcome and get you more positive results. Do you understand this? Again, if not think about it.

Find A Positive Resource 

Be free with your thinking in choosing new opportunities. Don’t be rigid, be relaxed. Open yourself up to infinite possibilities. You are still only going to choose one, or in time, a few, but you have a wide variety to choose from that will make a difference for you. At first, choose ONE to work with.

Learn and practice being more resourceful in a variety of ways. There isn’t a perfect way. There is not only one way. There are a variety of positive possibilities and you can learn and benefit from. Any one of them can lead to more glorious possibilities.

If you want to feel better you want to get feedback on how you can continue to transform your experiences for your benefit. So stay open minded and be willing to playfully explore.

Keep Light And Have Fun With This

Take it slowly and have fun. Be gentle and have fun. Be deliberate and thorough and have fun. Choose mild difficulties at first and have fun. Later move on to more difficult situations and have fun.

When you have learned and practiced and gotten good with the process you move onto larger issues in time. You still have fun because that is what you build into the process. Take it lightly even when dealing with more difficult issues.

There are those times that present us with difficulty. We didn’t behave as we knew we could, or wished we would. We want to take those less than glorious moments and transform them by adding in resources we didn’t utilize or were aware we had at the time.

We want to re-code our memories of the past to be more resourceful so we can choose to use them as resources in the present and  future. That is why we spend time building and continuing to build our library of resourcefulness.

A Most Important Benefit Is You Become What You Think About

The reason why I want you to go and find all your positive times and relive those and catalog those and have experience recreating those is for you to have them available as choices whenever you may need to.

If you spend a large portion of your time devoted to finding resources and living them and creating them it makes you more resourceful. Your life will change for the better.

Utilize Any Of These Resources When Times Get Tough

A second benefit is you can utilize any of these resources more readily when times get rough if you have wired them in and made them automatic and available. What you think about you become. When you become more resourceful you can handle future difficult times better. Do you get how this works? It builds on itself.

There are times when everything goes your way. Maybe you feel on top of the world, or extra joyful. These are resources!

You got some news and you feel very happy. There are times when you simply feel fine, but more than fine. Super fine. YOU feel GOOD but not like a superhero. There are times when you feel confident, capable, certain you can do anything. Other times you feel silly or you have a sense of humor.

Still, at other times you feel relaxed, calm, peaceful or at ease. Sometimes you are concentrated and focused, sometimes playful. At times you are focused on your needs at other times you are attentive and helpful to others. All these constitute useful resources.

Re-live It: Feel Now What You Felt Then

Go back inside your mental movie theater and re-live some of these one at a time. Notice  what you saw at the time, what you heard and felt that made you feel that way.

Get a sense of it as much as possible ! You can even imagine feeling it at 2, or 3 or even 5 times the intensity. You can ramp it up. Re-live it from your point of view.

Build them one by one by revisiting these memories again and again.

Watch It: Feel How Good It Feels To Be This Way (Selfie)

Imagine the other way too. See yourself in the situation (selfie) looking the way you do when you are resourceful in this fashion. How do you look, how do you use your body and move.  What does your voice sound like. You can see that you (in the movie) feels great.

Feel how incredible you would feel to be this way. If everything for your future you was going right, and you were everything you wanted to be, doing what you wanted to be doing and having what you wanted to have. How would you feel? Feel that!

Enjoy these. Do this each day. Build a library of incredible feelings, talents, abilities, and resources. Let’s call them resources states.

Practice each day. Realize that whenever you remember these positive times you can feel the wonderful feelings again and again even stronger if you’d like. Strong or not isn’t the point. The point is taking time to live and feel these resources.

You Can Access or Build Past, Present And Future Resources

In order to change your response in the future you want to have one or more of these resources available when you need it. You are going to use your mental movie theater to imagine when and where and with whom you may need one or more of them.

Pay attention to what and how you behave and feel differently when you add the new resources in. First we will change the past.

Go to your mental movie theater and take up a comfortable seat. Watch this experience on your movie screen in your mind.

You are sitting in a movie theater and the screen is over there. The movie begins and you watch yourself go through the experience over there UP UNTIL the point, but not beyond, when it became a difficult situation.

You Are The Director And Editor Of Your Inner Movies

You chose a mild one because you want to be able to STOP IT from being a difficulty. You want to change the difficult moment so it no longer affects you. You want to be free so you want to stop it easily from being  an issue. You are going to work as a movie editor.

Watch yourself over there on your mental movie screen in a situation leading to a less than glorious outcome. One you actually experienced in your real life past. Watch it up to, but not beyond, when it started going awry. STOP IT prior to when you behaved as you DO NOT WANT to. As it approaches slow it down and stop it.

Cut the film right there! Edit! You snip away the less than glorious reactions you had. As an editor you would throw them in a bin on the computer or let them drop on the cutting room floor. Then insert the new resourceful behavior. Paste it in at the precise point.

Paste it in so that from the critical point on you now watch yourself behaving in the situation the way you WANT TO behave. Watch the movie continue. Look at yourself, listen and notice how you feel differently.

Now you run it again from start to finish making sure you behave as you want to until the end. It begins, you watch.  Watch the situation begin to turn sour but instead of succumbing to what was used to be YOU NOW think, feel and behave in the new positive way? Watch it again and again over and over. Re-live it and love it!

Notice how you look, what you sound like, what and how you say things to yourself in your head, under your breath or out loud. Notice how you move. Imagine it with as much detail as possible.

Adjust As Necessary

Do you like what you see? Do you like how you feel watching this new you? If it isn’t as good as you’d like it improve it. Add in another resource. Change it in positive direction until it is too your liking. Keep it realistic as you do. Intensify the positive feelings.

Adjust it. You want to behave more positively in the future make your inner mental movie a compelling example of you behaving that way. Tweak it. See how wonderful you look. Notice how you positively interact. Listen to the kind things you say to yourself (or others).

When it is how you like it – spend time reviewing it this way. Notice how it is different and more positive. Then realize that is how it can be in the future.

Whenever you watch your inner movie in this way you want to end it completely before you do it over again. So watch it to the end and then when it finishes shake it off (literally shake yourself a bit) or get up, move around, do a jumping jack. Anything that creates a shift.

Go inside and change a few other mildly difficult times this way. Pick 3, 6, 10 however many you wish. Practice recoding them. Review them with the new behaviors and how do you feel? Are you moving in the direction you want to move in? Is feeling good? Feeling great?

You are building and practicing a skill. If you keep at it you will build the habit of looking for resources whenever you encounter the trigger points in less than glorious situations. This is an incredible skill to have. So you want to practice a lot. Don’t believe me build it for yourself!

There is more to this process and we will add on to it. It gives you another powerful alternative way to accomplish the same end. It is a useful approach for you to learn. Practice and practice. You will be amazed at how easily you can make changes. More Next Time!” Rex Sikes

Have a majestic day!

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