Category Archives: Rehearsal And Practice

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Do This Whenever You Are Nervous: It Will Help Immensely!

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fun to do the impossible

“Do you ever get nervous in public? Do you have difficulty speaking or performing in front of others? Are you afraid to meet new people? Perhaps, sometimes you are just jittery what can be done about it?

Since we are on the subject of Directed Questions™ and how we can direct the mind in useful ways to get the desired results or outcomes we want I thought I would share this article I published years ago.

Originally, it was a post to a Inet group. I was writing to help someone overcome performance jitters or anxiety around being in front of a group of people or an audience.

I work with actors, speakers, attorneys, doctors, educators and people from all walks of life. As I recall, this was a magician but this process, my method, applies to everything we do. I hope you enjoy this article. I hope you will begin using Directed Questions™ to make an incredible difference for yourself.

First Performance Jitters

By Rex Sikes

You are getting some good advice here from fellow performers, know your routine well, jitters are normal, etc. All sound advice. Heed it.

What I additionally do is ask myself positive productive questions which lead my mind in the direction I want it to go in.

‘For example, I ask myself questions like ‘Just how surprised and delighted I will be to discover myself having a marvelous time?’

‘In how many different ways can I discover myself delighted and excited at having the opportunity to perform?’

‘How much fun can I stand and in how many ways will I find myself enthused?’

‘How easily can I discover my sense of humor (or whatever) and how much I love performing?’

‘In how many different ways can I excite and entertain the audience, and have them have fun and enjoyment?’

‘In how many different ways can I feel and express my enthusiasm for entertaining?’

‘How quickly will I discover an ever increasing sense of confidence arising in me to the point where I feel totally incredible about this wonderful opportunity to amaze and delight strangers?’

‘How many new friends can I make as a result of this opportunity?’

These are just a few brief sample questions you can ask yourself – or develop your own.

I use questions like these questions to fill my mind. You see when you ask a question your mind goes in search of an answer. It knows what to look for since we grow up asking questions. The problem with most of us is that we have asked crappie questions of ourselves and others.

So I use good positive questions to stimulate my mind to search for answers which I already presuppose to be there. (understanding language presuppositions which occur naturally in English or any native speaker’s language is most beneficial).

For example, I already assume to have a delightful experience. The question I ask is ‘how quickly I can recognize the delight? OR ‘in how many ways I will discover myself feeling delighted or find myself thinking positive happy thoughts?’

OR ‘what is the first thing I will appreciate about myself when I discover myself already behaving in that fashion, or will I tell myself when I suddenly find that I have behaved in that fashion?’ ‘Where will I feel the delight most in my head, heart, chest etc.?’

I presuppose (or assume) I will have it then I ask how I will manifest it or recognize it or act, speak, think or see regarding it.

In other words, I want to get my brain to work for me. I want to say things like ‘I wonder how quickly I will realize how excited I am’ (rather than I’m nervous). Notice also I am not make affirmations – in other words I am not claiming something to be the case when it is not – I am posing questions in a particular fashion, which directs the mind and doesn’t set up conflicts with what you know to be true.

For example, some people make affirmations like “I am my ideal weight’ when clearly they are not and everything including the mirror tells them otherwise. However, if you ask ‘How quickly can I discover myself maintaining my ideal weight, losing weight easily and enjoying all the right foods in the right amounts?’

AND ‘How happy will I be to discover myself just naturally eating healthier and shedding the pounds?’ your brain doesn’t know the exact answer, and you haven’t given it anything to conflict with. You have simply lead it along the lines with least resistance.

The cool part about brains is they really do look for the answers when questions are asked. So I use my brain to program the behaviors I want. Including calm relaxed confidence, quite assurance and the energetic and dynamic appeal needed for entertaining maximally.

Now notice I didn’t ask a question searching for a particular answer such as ‘what is the capital of Montana’ or ‘on what day at what time will all this make sense to me?’

I ask questions in an open ended fashion, like – ‘even though I don’t feel totally comfortable with this yet, how quickly can I begin to discover myself beginning to relax and feel calm and confident?’ AND ‘where can I begin to put my attention which will be most useful for me in discovering how truly talented I really am?’

‘How quickly can I begin to find myself truly recognizing just how wonderful I am and how lucky I am to be able to share myself and my talents with an audience of twenty or thirty friends?’

See again, I lead my mind where I want it to go and then I fill it with these positive thoughts morning, noon and night AND especially when driving.

I have been doing this for close to twenty years so for me it has been second nature for nearly as long.

I also use my quiet time (or else I purposely make some quiet time 3 – 5 minutes at a time a few times through out the day) to imagine or picture what I want happening, beginning to see myself behaving in the manner I wish to behave in and then ask myself questions about ‘how quickly I can already find myself behaving like this?’, AND ‘what I will see, hear or tell myself or feel as I continue to successfully engage in these positive behaviors?’

Now it is important to do this throughout the days in advance of when you need it. Repeatedly fill your mind with powerful positively phrased questions and positive internal imagery and wonderfully positive feelings of anticipating doing well, even beyond your wildest expectations.

Continue to practice your routines and let the questions and mental work you do make you excited about the event. Remember, you have the opportunity to dazzle new found friends and acquaintances. It is really a marvelous opportunity.

There is much I do for myself and as a performance coach. People who have used and tested my methods do exceedingly well. And I have years and years of very happy satisfied people who have learned to run their own brains to benefit them in powerful ways.

So take all the good advice, use it, practice your routine, fill your mind with useful positive thoughts and go out there and give them one heck of an incredible performance!!!!

Be well and enjoy!!! Rex Sikes
Whether or not you perform professionally as an actor, comedian, magician, acrobat, public speaker or not you can use Directed Questions™ to help you in whatever you want to do.

Whether it is feel happier, get some rest, be more confident, have more energy, eat right, maintain your ideal weight, save more money WHATEVER it is you want you can use Directed Questions™ to help make your dreams and goals come true. SO, why not discover how incredibly powerful these questions are when you begin today? Rex Sikes”

How surprised and delighted might you be to discover the many magical moments that make up today?

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Need More Energy? Want More Life? How To Have It Now!

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there is nothing impossible

“Would you like more energy to get through your day? Can you imagine feeling more wonderful more frequently? What if you were to live with more passion and enjoyment wouldn’t that be marvelous?

Well, you can! You can grab hold of life and give it a good squeeze. You can go for the gusto and smile, laugh, delight and live more energetically. You can take hold of your thoughts, feelings and your experience and make it more of what you want it to be.

In the decades I have been leading workshops and seminars I have had hundreds and thousands of people demonstrate this to themselves time and time again.

Energy Comes From How We Use Our Mind

How we use our mind is critical to how we feel and what we do. When we think sluggish we will feel sluggish. Our thoughts control our reality. Little things we think repeatedly (not just the big negative things) can drain us of happiness and energy so we want to think our very best to feel our very best.

We become and get what we focus on. If we repeatedly think negative, defeatist, thoughts we don’t feel up and filled with energy. In order to feel better now you need to take charge of your thoughts!

These blog pages are filled with how to help yourself think and feel better.

Energy  Comes From How We Use Our Body

There is a lot of documented research proving how we feel affects think. How we move and and use our body affects how we think. In my workshops I provide many demonstrations and exercises proving these points to individuals just like you.

One study published in the ‘Journal of Behavioral Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry’ found that subjects felt worse and remembered more negative things and fewer positive things when they  walked slouched over, shoulders hunched and didn’t move their arms much. This is how people typically walk when sad or depressed.

Stand And Walk Tall And You Feel Better

People felt better with spring in their step, pep, shoulders back, chin up. They felt better, they thought better and thought more positive. When we straighten our spine, pull our shoulders back and put our chin up we use our muscles differently AND breath differently. There are many reasons why we feel better when we stand and walk taller.

When you want to feel better move and walk with more energy and you will begin to feel that way. THEN keep at it.  Don’t return to slouching continue to walk feeling great! Think how soldiers march and the determination and confidence they exude. They wouldn’t if they hunched and slouched over.

How To Have 2 Times More Energy Right Now

You can imagine how you would feel if you had 2x more energy. Literally, you ARE able to do this. So do it. Try it on. How would you look, what would your expression be like?  Do it now. Imagine how you would be sitting and reading this if you had 2x more energy. What would your posture be like? Adopt that posture and that expression. Notice how you feel when you really do it.

Stand up and walk about with 2x more energy. Pay attention to how you walk and move. Notice how your gait is different. Notice your chin and shoulder position. Examine how you are breathing? What are your steps like? How do you move your arms? Do a complete check over and keep walking as if you have 2x more energy.

Linger in it. Bask in the energy, enjoy it. Spend time sitting, walking and standing with more energy. Practice it daily. Rehearse it. Make it a habit. You can you know. Anytime you want to feel better you can, because you know how. So make it a habit and use it.Great now double it again!

Walk and move as if you had 4x more energy. You can do it! Adjust your body and movement. Go walk about. Notice that you have control when you actually take control and do what is required. It affects you positively. Great now imagine 5x more energy. How about 10x more energy?

Make It A Habit And You Will Always Have It Available

Any time you want to you can imagine and have more energy and delight, more confidence and passion, more determination and enjoyment. You can use your body and mind to serve you anytime.

Stand in one spot and shake your entire body quickly for 30 seconds or a minute. That will charge you up. Put your arms over your head and wave them rapidly. Dance, skip, sing, and laugh to get more energy whenever you want it or require it. All you have to do is start it.

You can sit behind the steering wheel of a car and go nowhere, doing nothing, or you can start the engine and be on your way. If you want something to happen it will always be up to you. Think better thoughts and you will feel better. Feel better and you will think better. Do both and you will live with more passion and enjoyment and life will be more grand. Delight in in!” Rex Sikes

Have a fun filled day!

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If You Want Your Life To Change You Must Change Things In Your Life

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i choose

“Have you ever wanted to make some changes? Has something stopped you? Have you tried but didn’t follow through? What is it about changing that people just don’t understand?  Why don’t they do what they want to do, even when it is in their best interest to do so? Has this been you at times?

You Go Where Your Thoughts Take You

You are today, right now, where you are, because of where you thoughts have brought you. You will be, tomorrow, where your thoughts take you. You become what you think about most often. Your life is the result of the thoughts you hold in your head and what you talk about most of each day.

You Get What You Focus On

If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t. Whatever you think about yourself you are right. You can not escape your thoughts. You either think and talk about what works and is wonderful and what you want OR you talk about what sucks, doesn’t work or what you don’t want most of the time.

Your Thoughts Are Either Positive Or Negative

Your thoughts are either constructive or they are destructive. Either way your thoughts are productive. You can’t think two thoughts at one time. You either mostly think positive thoughts or you mostly think negative thoughts. You life reflects what you think about most.

Your Mind Is Only As Strong As Your Weakest Think

If you really want to do something you will find a way to do it. Nothing will prevent you if you are committed. If you don’t want to do something  you will find an excuse. You will find a reason that you THINK is valid. Excuses are repetitive thoughts. Whining, and blaming and quitting are the easiest thoughts to think and to do.

You Can Learn To Be Positive More Of The Time

Skill comes from doing. Habit comes from repetition. The more you do something the more you are able to do. What is difficult at first gets easier. Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly at first. You will get better in time the more you do it. Repetition builds habit and skill.

Exceed Your Comfort Zone

Your current habits, mindset and abilities are those you have done most frequently, for whatever reason. You do them because you rehearsed them over and over even if you weren’t aware that was what you were doing at the time. To change you must do new things you may not be comfortable doing in the beginning.

If You Want Your Life To Change You Must Change Things In Your Life

While it may seem tough to change the habits you learned, at first, they are the proof that you can learn to do anything. You can learn to think, to be, to feel, to do differently IF and WHEN you want to. You can learn to do anything you dedicate your mind to. You can re-wire your brain to think differently, more efficiently and positively.

Now Is The Time

If you wait to change you will wait and wait. You will only do what is comfortable. That is what most people do. The reason they don’t change is because even though they claim they want to it is inconvenient. It seems too hard. They think they may have to do something that is difficult. They think they can’t. They make excuses.

DO YOU SEE IT YET? 

People don’t change because they don’t THINK they can or that it will be hard. Or they THINK they will fail. Or they THINK…. or they think… or they think… We are a product of our thoughts! You DO or DON’T do because of what you THINK at any given time. Thinking is what you say to yourself; your self-talk and the mental images you make. It is what you say to others.

You do whatever you habitually THINK you will or won’t! Your thoughts and feelings go hand in hand. If you don’t think it is possible you won’t feel like it is either. To change your feelings you must change your thinking. You can take control of your thinking! You can feel incredible when you do! Create the opportunity to change!

You Can Change In An Instant

Make a true decision to change right now and you will begin to change. You power comes from your decision. Follow through requires dedication and persistence. It is easier the more passionately you want to change. Think It and Feel It!

Change doesn’t have to be hard if you THINK it is easy. It can be fun, exciting and delightful. It can be whatever you THINK and BELIEVE it will be. While there may always be challenges you will be more prepared to handle them when you THINK YOU CAN!

To change right now means doing things differently. AND it means DOING them RIGHT NOW. If you put off changing now you succeed in putting off changing now. That is what you will succeed in doing.

You Are Always Successful No Matter What

You either think productively and positively and get what you want. OR you think destructively are negatively and get what you do not want. Either way the results you get are up to how you think and what you think about most of the time during your day. You go where your thoughts take you. You Become what you think about!

Stop It! Start Now! Begin today! Change your thinking and change your life. You will be glad you! You will feel better and better. The more you do the more you can do!

Skill comes of doing. You can and you will discover a whole new way to live and feel when you decide to. A new world will open up to you when you decide to take charge of your thoughts!” Rex Sikes

Make the most of today!

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How To Instantly Change Your Life For The Better!

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inspirational_quotes_lau_tzu

“In an instant, the amount of time it takes to exhale, your life can change for the better. You can begin living the life you always wanted. You can start making all your dreams come true. It can all happen instantly!

All It Takes For Your Life To Change For The Best Is A Real Decision

Once that decision is made the everything begins to change!

Thomas Edison tried 10,000 times before he found the right material for the filament. He stated he discovered 10,000 ways to not make a lightbulb. He did but he only needed the one right way to make it work. Edison only had to be right one time for everything to change.

You Only Have To Be Right Once

It doesn’t matter how long you have been trying. It doens’t matter how many times you got a no answer, the wrong answer or no answer at all, you only have to get yes once. It doens’t matter how many people you asked you only have to have one person say yes.

Do you get this concept?  Some people focus on the amount of effort, that it may be hard, that people say no, or that they are rejected, and to do that is placing your focus in the wrong place. Edison was wrong 10,000 times it is true but when he was right he was right. IT only took one time to succeed!

It is a concept some people have difficulty with because they’re hung up on the point that he had to search all those times in order to find the one right way. According to Edison, it didn’t matter because he knew he was on the right path, that he was getting closer and because he considered it learning how to NOT make a light bulb.

Attitude drove Edison. He was dedicated. He was passionate and consumed. He wanted to and knew he would succeed. He believed it. The trials until the success did not matter. What mattered was his persistence and faith in the outcome. He would succeed! He did!

The Power Of A True Decision Is Released In A Moment

A split second. That is it’s power. Once you truly decide to take 100% responsibility for everything in your life, the good and the bad, your life will change. You can begin to create and attract what you want instead of what you don’t want. You will begin to get the results you want to have because you are focused on what you want to have. You aim at success and believe in the outcome as Edison did.

You have to take responsiblity for all of it. No excuses. You take the good with the bad and the bad with the good. You don’t get to take responsibility for half of it or part of it. You must take responsibility for everything in order to become free to create what you want and intend to.

Everything! Even if you don’t understand how. If something happens you don’t want, accept the responsibility for it, don’t pass the buck, then decide what you do want and intend to bring about. This puts you in charge of everything in your life.

The second you decide to plant seeds for an orange tree the oranges are in your future. This is an incredible point to understand! They don’t exist in your future until you make the decision to plant. Once you decide to plant the seed you create the possibilty of a future with oranges actually in it.

When you follow through on your decision, when you act on it and  plant the seeds IN THAT INSTANT they start to come to you. They are planted and their energy is released. While it takes time for the tree to grow, blossom and produce fruit it all began the second you made the decision and followed through. DO you get this?

The Decision Isn’t Actually Made Until You Act On It

Once you act on it good things can begin to come your way. You set into motion wonderful creations and attractions.

As long as you focus on the positive and fill your mind with successful, happy thoughts and wonderful feelings you are making great things happen. You stay on track, you keep your focus. You expect the results to come to you because you planted the seeds.

Most of the incredible things NOW coming to you are invisible to your awareness.  You can’t see them yet, you don’t yet know what they all are, but all good things are coming to you. You have released them with your thoughts and attention. You planted positive seeds.

This means you get and become what you think about and focus on and then some! Once you decide to live as a creator of good things in your life that is the energy you generate. As with any seed it needs to be nurtured and suppoted to grow. It needs the right nutrition and conditions. Keep your mind occupied with the best thoughts!

When you activate these thoughts with powerful, positive, passion and feel good emotions that is when your subconsious mind works to manifest these. If you don’t take control and decide to be 100% responsible and choose to focus on the positive your subsconsicous will continue to deliver whatever you have been getting.

Powerful Changes Begin The Instant You Follow Through

You make a powerful positive dicision NOW follow through. Keep going in the right direction. Act on it! What you think, say and feel IS critical! Think and speak about only what you want. Fill your mind with positive affirmations and images of how wonderful life is for you.

Fill your self-talk with  gratitude and make it a point to only speak about you, your life, others and the world in ways that bless heal and prosper. All things work together for good.  Celebate and enjoy! Anticipate wonderful things. Do not let yourself be distracted by world circumstance, difficulties or present less than glorious life situations. Stay positive and you will be powerful.

The wrong approach is to think that it takes hard work or years of effort. It takes whatever it takes. Everything can change in the twinkling of an eye. The second you say YES everything can flow and can begin to flow quickly and easily towards you.

You become tuned to receive and accept. Think over and over again, ‘I accept it all bring it on! I allow it to come to me. What I want wants me.’ Use your self talk and mental movie screen in positive powerful ways. DECIDE how it will be. YOU are in charge of you! Be responsible and make it happen. Be the creator you already are.

We Already Create All Of Our Circumstances

We have always been creating our life and circumstances albeit haphazardly or without deliberate intention. We may never have even realized our role in creating our life and future. Most of us have created mixed results, good and bad, because we weren’t aware of what we needed to do. This is why it is necessary to ultimately choose to be responsible for whatever you have been getting.

We brought about what we didn’t want more than what we did want BECAUSE no one told us the rules for creating and getting what we want. In order to get what you want you must be postively focused ONLY on what you want. You have to live it and breath it. You can’t half-ass it. Once you figure it out you can take charge and make your future what you want it to be.

Focus On What You Want:  Stop Resisting And Allow

Once the resistance is gone the good things you want can come through. Be open, know that you deserve it, abundance is yours and claim it. You can be, do and have anything you want.

Once you begin to spend most of your time thinking powerfully and positively your life changes. Once you are filled with celebration and gratitude for everything you stop resisting. It began with the decision and you bring it about with the follow through. The seeds are growing. Keep them growing by your thoughts and feelings!

Once you understand completely that all things work together for good IT doesn’t matter how the good things arrive or when. You allow it and accept whatever is. You celebrate it and everything happens in the right time and in the right way. YOU are in the zone! You go with the flow and life is grand! You will be delighted!

Difficulties and challenges that arise serve as lessons and opportunites to fine tune your skills. The allow you to clarify what you want and make sure you are focused on that. The tough times can help you evolve even faster when you don’t let them get you down or distract you.

When you keep your attitude and thoughts in check while going through the tough times YOU are really becoming a person of power and ability. The most important part of the journey is WHO you become along the way!

Determine To Live An Awesome Life And You Will

Know what you want. Focus on it. Celebrate and enjoy! Work co-operatively with others. Accept, allow, and include. Pave the way for all great things to come to you.  It is up to you! You are the one who decides and creates and attracts. It is not magic it is you taking charge of your life and abilities to live well.

You decide,  plant the seeds and follows through to reap the harvest. It is up to you. 100% of the results you get, good or bad, are up to you. No blaming, no excuses, no whining. Just Accept it!

Think and say outloud, ‘I can be, do and have everything I want, anytime, any where, with anyone. I am blessed! I am the creator, the decider, the champion of my life. Right now, I create a marvelous life for myself and others. I draw all good things, people, events, and situations toward me. I know all things work together for good. I can always find a way through difficulties. I am 100% in charge of me!’

That is one example. Create and fill your mind and your moments with positive affirmations and speak them passionately outloud throughout each day. Hold them in your mind. Visualize what you want to be and have in you minds eye AS IF you already have it.

You become what you think about most! Be grateful, celebrate, enjoy all things, read inspiring books, listen to audios, hang out with positive powerful people and you transform your life and quickly!”  Rex Sikes

How incredible will you make today?

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The High Cost To Breaking Your Promise!

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no excuses - when you really matter

“Is there anything worse than someone who does not keep their word?  When they break they promise they demonstrate that their promise to you is meaningless. It shows us that they have no willpower nor backbone in carrying out what they say they will.

It indicates that they are weak or they just don’t care enough for you to keep it. Their promise is empty just as the results they get are empty. They do not care. They are not loyal. Their word or promise is of no value. It sucks!

When someone breaks their promise to another person s/he lets the other person down. As a result of that disappointment and the bad feelings negative associations pile up. The person gets a reputation of being a ‘let down’, ‘a disappointment’ and of being an untrustworthy person. You don’t want that, do you?

Always Keep Your Word

You should always keep your word! Your word should be golden! It should be unbreakable! You should never give your word unless you keep your word. You should place a high-value on doing what you say you will.

If you won’t do what you say you will then you shouldn’t make any commitment in the first place. NEVER give your word unless you absolutely intend to keep it. Do not disappoint anyone by making a promise you won’t keep.

If you make excuses and blame circumstances you demonstrate you are not in charge of your life. You made a promise, broke it and then whine or complain that it isn’t your fault that something came up. No one cares about your reasons for failure they only know YOU did not deliver.

When you promise something you are claiming you will follow through. You are stating implicitly that YOU will deliver.

What Constitutes A Promise?

IS it only a promise when you say, ‘I promise’? HELL NO!  A promise is implied whenever you say you will do anything or offer to do anything. The promise is always inferred. It is understood that you intend to deliver. If you won’t deliver don’t say you will.

If you said, ‘Today, I’ll buy lunch’ but when the bill comes you say ‘Forget it’ what do you think people would think of you? Why would you offer if you weren’t going to? If you say, ‘I’ll meet you at noon Friday’, but don’t show up do you think they’d think you were cool?

If you told a child, ‘I will come by after school’ and then didn’t how might the child feel? Do you really want to do that to a kid? DO you want to let anyone down? Do you want to get the reputation that your word isn’t any good? It is important to do what you say you will.

Consider this: IF it is that important to keep your word to another person how  important is it to keep your word to yourself?

You Need To Keep Your Promises To Yourself

If you say today you are going to do the laundry do the laundry.  If you claim today you will not eat donuts DON’T eat the donuts.  If you say you are going to take out the trash every week on Wednesday then take out the trash every week.

It is just as bad to break your promise to yourself as it is to another person. When you break your promise to yourself you betray yourself. You create failure and disappointment. You give yourself a reason to berate yourself and feel negative about you. You lower your self esteem. You injure yourself! After all, you have let yourself down, yet again!

This disappointment can stimulate negative self-talk, you can re-live old disappointing memories. It provides you negative ammunition and takes the wind out of your sails. You don’t focus on the ‘can do’ but on the can’t or didn’t do. You can chalk up another reason why you are a failure.

There Is A High Cost To Breaking Your Promises

When you make a promise or give your word to anyone the expectations are that you will keep it. Your word is your bond! A person only has their word to give and nothing else. If you say, ‘I can give money’ the money is the item you promised. If you don’t give the money you broke your word. Do you get it? It’s what you say!

If you can’t be trusted to keep your word what have you? What are you worth? It would be better to not say or promise anything than to break your word.  If you’re not going to take the trash out every Wednesday, as you promised, don’t say that you’re going to.

The key to keeping your word is to find a way to give it that allows you to win when you do and that doesn’t gnaw away at you if you don’t.

Perhaps, you promise to  take the trash out every Wednesday unless something more important comes up. Then each week at the appropriate time you prioritize. If you don’t take the trash out THEN it is because something truly more important has come up. In this way you have kept your promise to yourself.

You have acted on the first most important item on your list. Then the next. You will take the trash out as you knock off the items before it. This way you are not only taking the trash out but, because you have prioritized, you are doing other important things as well. This makes it a win/win for you.

Following through on what you say you will is important to your health and well being. You  need to work your plans and feel good about yourself. You can’t feel optimum if you are disappointing yourself and others. No one wants to think, feel or be told (by yourself or someone else) ‘See I knew you’d let me down’.

Make Keeping Your Word A Habit

You can learn to make anything a habit if you want to. Start simple, start small and keep it easy. Each day make a short list of four or five taks you want to complete before the day’s end. If you prefer do it the night before.

Keep these things ones you can achieve. They should not be overwhelming or time consuming. They could be things like take the trash out. Call a friend or make that business call. Walk your pet. Straighten up your desk or work area before leaving. Practice piano, read a chapter in a book. Keep it easy enough to do.

Once you complete a task cross it off your list. When you have completed all on your list of things to accomplish notice how good it feels. Pat yourself on the back. Enjoy and celebrate your success. You might be amazed at how good you feel. Repeat this process the next day.

Spaced repetion is what makes a habit. Repeat the behavior your want to learn, again and again, each day and soon it will be a habit. As it becomes a habit your confindence will become stronger just as your muscles do when you exercise them repeatedly.

Soon you will be up to handling larger tasks and more important promises. You will have made follow through and completion a habit. When you want to or have to accomplish something really big or important you will be able to.

You will follow through and keep your word. You will do whatever it takes because you are a’can do’ person. That will make you feel even better again! You will build for yourself a success cycle.

You will feel better about you, believe in and trust yourself. You will enjoy and get known for keeping  your word. You’ll develop the reputation as one whose word is golden. Place a high priority on doing what you say you will and you will absolutely transform your life!” Rex Sikes

Have a great day!

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Affirmations, Creating The Future, Emotions, Expectations, Focus, Habit Formation, Mental Movie Theater, Persistence, Positive Affirmations, Rehearsal And Practice, Self Talk, Success, Uncategorized, Visualization

The Secret To Making Visualization Work For You!

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suzanne somers visualization quotes

“We are told to visualize our goals but how are we supposed to do this? Is there a secret to making visualization work? What if we we don’t see our pictures clearly does it matter? Can we still succeed?

You Can Get What You Want With Visualization

It seems for eons the emphasis has been in the wrong place. It has been on the image one is supposed to see or make. Yes, you make an internal representation of what it is that you want to be, do or have. You represent in your mind what is absolutely important to you.

We have said ‘visualize it’ and for some they can easily do this. For others, they have more difficulty. They can better hear the voices, or the sounds. Others can more easily experience the feelings. Some do all three without issue. Plus, they might experience tastes and smells.

Whatever you do is okay. Yes, you can develop the ability with which you experience each sense through deliberate practice. Dedicated repetition will make the sense more available, alive and realistic.

It is true we do what is easiest or most comfortable for us. If you haven’t spent much time deliberately visualizing it may not be as easy for you as someone else, at first. With time it can be. Practice it and you will get better at it.

Practice Developing Your Senses

I recommend you practice developing each sense so you have a richer and more varied inner imagination or ‘day dream’ life. In fact, if you see your dreams, at any time, you do see your images. The easiest way to develop the skill is a little bit at a time and with positive expectations and praise. Never get down on yourself.

Look around your room, pick a corner and recreate it in your mind. Look at a simple picture or drawing and close your eyes and re-trace it on the inside. Listen to someone speak or some music and replay it in your head. Imagine the voice of a loved one saying wonderful things to you. Replay sounds you hear from daily life.

Run your hand across some fabric or item and get a sense of doing that on the inside. Hold something in your hand, notice the texture, the weight, the space it takes. Remove it and recreate the sensations. There are many ways to create on the inside what you experience outside.

You can imagine a red box (or any other color) and the change the color. Change the shape to a pyramid and change the color again and the shape again and the color. Have it grow larger, smaller, spin, flatten like a pancake, expand, fly way off into the distance, zoom back in again. Practice creating odd images. You can include sounds and feelings too.

Imagine a giraffe with a monkey on its back flying over our house shouting ‘yipee kiyay!’ Picture a blue elephant eating balancing on a stop and go light eating an ice cream cone. Create different weird, funny, wonderful images and scenarios to enjoy.

Make pictures of loved ones, favorite vacation spots, memories that are important, meaningful and wonderful for you. Just spend five or so minutes daily (or longer if you are able to) and soon your inner world will be richer with images, sounds and feelings.

The Really Important Ingredient

Still, if all you saw was a vague notion of what you wanted that is fine. Might it be better if it were crystal clear, it might be, but not enough to get upset over. The true point of visualizing is NOT so much what you see inside BUT rather what you feel when you are ‘seeing’ it.

The real key to visualizing and creating your dreams and your reality are the feelings above and beyond the pictures. The feelings, how you feel, while you hold the images in your mind drive the show! The feeling you have is the most important!

It is important to feel great! What you want should excite you, make you eager to have it. It should be something to feel absolutely passionate about. Pictures and words (affirmations) don’t have much punch, much power of affect if that is all they are, pictures and words. It is how good you feel while picturing and affirming that count!

The better you feel the easier and faster you create! This IS the secret and I will share more in my future blogs. You can create your reality and be, do and have anything you want. You can make it happen.” Rex Sikes

Have a fabulous today!

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Act As If, Affirmations, Beliefs, Creating The Future, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Habit Formation, Happiness, Learning, Positive Thinking, Rehearsal And Practice, Self Talk, Success, Unlimited Power, Visualization

Success And Happiness: Are You Doing What Helps Or Hurts?

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your mind is a garden

“Are you predominantly focused on what you want, thereby creating what you want in your life? OR  Are you predominantly focused on what you don’t want, thereby inadvertently, creating what you do not want? Since we get what we focus on this is important to know. What do you imagine when you imagine your dreams and goals?

You have to know what you want

You have to know what you want and not just know what you don’t want IN ORDER for you to get what you DO want. Knowing what you do not want (I don’t want to be poor; I don’t want this illness; I don’t want people who lie to me etc) is important to help clarify what you do want. (I want to be wealthy; I want vibrant health; I want people who are honest and I can trust etc).

The key is to focus on what you do want so that is what you create for yourself. Once you catch yourself focused on what you don’t want (uggg I hate these bills! etc) turn your attention away from what you don’t want and put it on what you do want. Remember, we get what we focus on.

When I first began practicing visualizing as a child I had difficulty seeing myself as I wanted to be inside my head. I could quite easily picture something bad happening (falling off my bicycle, for example) but had difficulty imagining myself riding it safely. That was just what I was used to doing in my head.

Because I didn’t undertake to change this and exercise my mind regularly then, as one would with daily physical exercise, this ‘condition’ persisted until my later teens when finally I decided I needed to do something. By then, I had spent many years practicing visualizing how I did not want to be. It was already my habit from younger years.

How to practice and develop skill

I sat and practiced seeing good things happening. It seemed tough at first. Vague, hazy, unclear, unfocused. Sometimes nothing at all. BUT I could pretty well and pretty clearly see what I didn’t want. That was a well developed skill. I had to continue to practice again and again making pictures of what I wanted. At times it was frustrating, I admit. You have to keep at it. I certainly had to.

To help, I would look at photographs of things I wanted or of people doing things I wanted to be able to do and close my eyes and imagine as best I could myself with those items or in place of the people in the photograph. Just as in building any other skill set I needed regular correct repetition to develop my ability to visualize positively. Slowly at first, bit by bit, I got somewhat better.

All of us. You and I can create the life we want. We can learn to develop any skill or ability we want to add, or enhance any skill and talent we already have by dedicating enough time and practice to do so. Learning how to visualize powerfully and positively is a skill worth having. It is our doorway to making our dreams come true.

There may be no other skill more important that our own ability to focus our mind’s attention on what we want to be, do or have since we become what we predominantly think about. Take time to nurture your ability to visualize and be sure to be focusing on what you want to have more of.

Visualizing positively may be your most powerful resource!

We are already creating our world, if you don’t like what you are getting then you must change what you are doing. I had to. The first step in the process of getting what I wanted was to recognize that I was already great at getting and having what I did not want.

This actually was good news. Life kind of sucked but when I realized I was the one powerfully creating everything I didn’t want, I knew, all I had to do was make a switch. I would keep on creating since that is what we all do, but I would deliberately, consciously with full intention chose to focus on what I wanted instead.

That was liberating! That was the instance everything began to shift. Yes, many times daily I had to re-position my focus from what I habitually, already did, (think about what I didn’t want) TO think about what I did want. Again and again and again I had to shift.

Eventually, in time, it grew easier and easier. Soon it became more of a regular habit. Change becomes easier when you decide you have had enough and want something else.  There are other exercises I will share in future blog posts that will accelerate your abilities.

Correct repeated practice enables you to acquire any skill

You can be, do and have anything you want when you learn how. It is far easier and more readily available than you might even realize it is right now. Practice seeing what you want. Become aware of your thoughts and images. Focus on what you want and your life will become so much better. What we think about we bring about!” Rex Sikes

Live gloriously today!

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Secret To Building Self Confidence For Success

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change your attitude and it will change your life

‘Confidence builds success and success builds confidence. Confidence is important. How does one build confidence?   If the successful person wants to achieve something she goes after it. It never occurs to a successful person that she might not get it. If she wants it she gets it.

How do you build this kind of success?

How would you begin to learn to walk a tightrope 60 feet in the air?

Would you climb to the top of the ladder and just step out on faith? You most assuredly would not. That most likely would bring disaster. The way in which one learns to walk a tightrope is by putting safety first. You begin with the tightrope lying on the ground.

You walk on the tightrope ON THE GROUND. Once you can do this repeatedly you raise the  tightrope a few inches off the ground. Then you raise it to a foot, then three feet,  six feet and then 10. You never go any higher than you are able to successful walk it. Before you know it you are walking way up high.

You first acquire the skill close to the earth. Once accomplished you go to the next level up. You learn to walk a tightrope in increments. You have to master the skill at lower heights to build the confidence needed to move up to to higher heights. You progress incrementally.

Once you have succeeded at a particular height (level) you feel confident. Success breeds confidence and that confidence breeds more success. You feel ready to move on. You know you can do it so you aren’t afraid to try. You have no doubt or fears.

You know you will succeed because you have built a track record of successes.

Apply this to getting your goals and making your dreams come true.

Set the goal you wish to accomplish small enough you believe you can attain it but large enough it is still fun to go after. This is important! You must make  it small enough that you ABSOLUTELY believe you could do it. You know, without question, you are capable. You expect to succeed.

If your goal is to make lots of money and if you have never made much you need to set your sights smaller at first. You will work your way up but start with something you know you can achieve.

If you have never made more than 40,000 dollars, before you  set your sights on millions chose an amount, that while it is a stretch, you know you can realistically make it happen. It will be a stretch but you can do it. First aim for 50, 60 or 80 thousand. Imagine how you would feel if you double your income? Pretty good I bet.

Once you have achieved that goal and you enjoy the confidence that comes with that success you set a larger goal. Perhaps, you aim at 150 thousand. Once you accomplish this and feel that success you aim for 500 thousand. You put the goal just outside your reach but not so far outside that you doubt you could get it.

You must believe you can succeed in order to succeed!

You want to build into your mental mindset, this success factor; ‘I can get my goals. I can make my dreams come true,’ How you know that is an accurate statement that you can trust IS because you have the wins to prove it. You have been setting goals and accomplishing them.

You know you are the sort of person who can go after what you want and get it. You keep winning!

Many people wish and hope for BIG things. They hope somehow someone will grace them with their wish fulfilled. They don’t realize that they are resourceful enough to make their dreams come true because they have never tried. They have wished large and when it was not fulfilled they felt worse.

The lost faith in their abilities because their abilities were never utilized. The lost faith in the universe because they wished, never pursued, and hoped circumstances would prove favorable. When it didn’t they accepted failure as their reality. There’s a vast difference between wishing and manifesting your dreams.

Confidence comes by training yourself to win small and then gradually win larger and larger. The more you succeed and overcome obstacles the more you grow confident and continue to succeed. Start small and finish big! Make each goal bigger.

The successful person knows that in every obstacle there are the seeds of greater opportunity. The successful person knows that temporary defeat is not failure until it has been accepted as such.

If you  give up you have quit the game.

As long as you play there is no permanent failure. There is challenge and opportunity. By playing the game and by keeping at it you develop skill and confidence. Repetition over time builds habit. Confidence and success are habits you build build playing the game.

Start small and work your way up. That is how you become confident and competent. With each win you feel stronger and you are stronger. You develop your skills and your confidence increases as you utilize your skills. Confidence and competent skill acquisition go hand in hand.

You build confidence by walking the tightrope near the ground. You master that ability before raising the height. You become the best by mastering the basics. Anything you can do at a lower level you could do at a higher level. Every step is important so you don’t want to skip any steps.

Make your dreams come true. Follow this formula for success and you will easily succeed. Remember, start small and finish big! Keep going and do not let anything stop you. Soon be making your large goals a reality.” Rex Sikes

Have a fascinating day!

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What Kind Of Abundance Do You Experience? PT 2

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“Sometimes it seemed like I’d take one step forward and a couple steps back. Occasionally, I’d get disenchanted as I looked at circumstances and thought, ‘It just isn’t happening quick enough!’ Then I’d remember where I needed to return my focus to. I realized I was off course and need to get back on and focus on my destination and where I was headed. Course correction saved the day!

It was always a little up and down. When deep downs came along I was so much better able to handle them than ever before. What would have thrown me off for a long time now, while challenging, allowed me to look into areas I needed to in order to become more flexible, or be more persistent. I was and am learning!

I learned never to quit but to bend instead of break. Good times were plentiful and minor moments become more delightful. All in all life became so much more worth living! It always has been but sometimes we forget. I know I did. I was taking 100% responsibility for all the bad and the good and everything was getting better as a result. Thought, mindset, attitude always precedes action and results.

So slowly at times, more quickly at others, I evolved myself and my life into more of what I wanted it to be. My first steps seemed to be to stop getting so much of what I didn’t want. I had always been great at doing that. I created lots of troubles in my past.

Now, I was learning and accepting that I could be great at getting what I wanted too. I stopped focusing on what I didn’t want and began focusing on what I did want. What an amazing change that brought about!

It is awesome and fun to realize one’s potential and role as a creator in one’s own life. The power, the creative ability and the responsibilityIt is magnificent!  I take 100% responsibility, as I become aware of my part in it, for everything I have had, lost, get, will get and enjoy. All of it, everything! Doing this puts me in the driver’s seat!

Everything good and bad has always been up to me. Since I have adopted this position I am capable of so much more because it all boils down to me and my attitude instead of relying on others or blaming them. It is not about changing others or circumstances to get my way when less than glorious things happen.

I change my attitude, my thoughts, my responses and move forward with what I might do instead of blaming or criticizing. Instead of feeling stuck or dependent on ‘things’ to change I change! That makes all the difference in the world. I am not a victim but a victor in this mental stance.

I don’t care if it is actually accurate that we are 100% responsible I know this mental stance has helped me immensely.

Oh, believe me, I am a work in progress. I have much to work on,  but I have learned to accept that and be ‘cool’ with that. I am growing as a plant does. Whatever growing I have left to do I will do for as long as I have time left. I don’t expect to be complete I expect to discover more and delight more.

I know challenges may always come. Not so long ago something came up that just about took the wind out of my sails. After about a day I realized I had my attention in the opposite place from where I could have placed it. SO I changed my attention, had numerous discoveries and made things better. What took a day may have taken months or years previously.

Am I happy with my journey. You can bet your ass I am. I am thrilled! It began in bad times.  It got so bad I knew I had to make instant changes. I decided to fill my mind each day with thoughts that inspired me, helped me to feel grateful, and move forward. Step by step, day by day. All these years later, I could never be more pleased with a decision I made. Best one I have ever made in my life.” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

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What Kind Of Abundance Do You Experience PT 1

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you decide every second

“You can have anything you want in abundance. Health, love, success, money, things. Or you can have anything you don’t want in abundance. Illness, broken relationships, failure, poverty, no home or possessions. The critical question is what kind of abundance are you creating and attracting?

You will get whatever your predominate thoughts are about. You will make happen and attract whatever you think about and focus on most of the day all the days of the week. What we concentrate on occupies our mind, our attention and our energy. Our energy goes into whatever we are preoccupied with.

So if troubles; lack of money or mounting debt and bills, discord in relationships, difficult home life, career disappointment or being out of work, are what you think about most day and night you are keeping your troubles alive. Worry is negative goal setting. What you think about you bring about.

Some time ago I was doing okay. Then some bad things happened. One after the other more bad things occurred. I wondered, ‘Why all this bad luck? Everything is going wrong!’ I used a lot stronger language I can assure you. It seemed everywhere I turned it only got worse. I complained, I whined, I tried to fix it desperately but it only continued. At the height of it all, I gave up. I realized at some point I couldn’t change it as I was. I had to change me.

I made it a point to read positive inspiring material every morning first thing. I’d read a page, a chapter whatever I could make work for the day. I would do it no less than thirty days. So I began. I read and listened to inspiring audios whenever I could. Slowly during the month my mindset relaxed and my attitude began to change bit by bit. I cautiously began to apply some of the things I was reading about and learning. I felt grateful I was taking the initiative.

I vowed to stay sane and not get carried away or become one of these ‘pink’ energy bubble people I had spent so much time around and even dated in years past. I wanted solid, practical, applicable skills, thoughts, and behaviors that would transform me without me becoming doe-eyed and hugging trees.

I didn’t want to become a cosmic cosmonaut with my feet six inches off the ground. I wanted to live in the everyday world and get some relief from nagging issues I carried with me, even though I have been a life long student and proponent of personal change and development.

If I had to become a weirdo to be happy then I really wasn’t all that interested. I read things from ancient texts, I read Napoleon Hill again, some more, throughout the years. I read others, anyone and everyone, who seemed to suggest that there was and is a realistic way to make wonderful things happen without relying on mysticism and other ‘beings’ to do it for me.

What can I say. Those thirty days transformed my life. At the conclusion of the thirty I continued the practice. I do to this day. I have learned and grown and have seen and understood so much. I have much to learn and yet to understand. Life though, is so much more incredible than I could have ever imagined. I filled myself with gratitude and joy. I felt confident and successful! I felt happy!

It has nothing to do with things or accumulations it is the depth of the change within me that I value most. I can enjoy possessions in ways I never did before. I am excited and eager and enthused in ways I never was before. I live and love living. Really, about all I can say is ‘WOW’! I feel so blessed and so thankful!

I can trace back to precisely what the first incident was and then the second that made me begin to realize I needed to approach things differently. It was a very difficult time for me as things went from bad to worse. I point this out because it seems this is often the way we come to changing ourselves. Something gets so bad, or we bottom out and we say, ‘stop, no more, never again’ and we move on into new ways of thinking and being.

Every moment of life is amazing EVEN when it appears not to be. I have done some incredible things in my life and I got settled and was coasting. I began to take things for granted. It was easy to complain when things started getting tougher. I even enjoyed complaining. Except when I did complain more and more of the joy and goodness and delight drained from me. I learned to put a guard on my thought and speech.

I AM SO GLAD IT DID!!! Had I kept going as I was going I can only bet it would have sucked even more. Fortunately, some glimmer inside me, told me I had to take the driver’s seat of my own life again. I am so thrilled and happy and pleased with the journey ever since. Did the skies open up and riches rain down on me. Nope, all things take some time. Gradually, bit by bit things got better.” Rex Sikes   More In Next Post!

Have a delightful day!

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