Category Archives: Self Improvement

Act As If, Affirmations, Attitude, Beliefs, Expectations, Mental Movie Theater, Personal Development, Positive Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Positive Thoughts, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Success, Visualization

Get Extraordinary Results When You Have No Limitations!!

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negative expectations no change

“You may not know the name but this gentleman did something incredible. What makes it more astounding is that he didn’t know what he was doing was incredible while he was doing it. He was completely clueless. He was just carrying out a typical everyday assignment but he stunned the world. His name is George Dantzig.

You might not recognize the name but it is likely you know about his accomplishment. Arriving late to class one day he jotted down a couple problems from the blackboard. At home he worked on that ‘homework’ which seemed ‘a little harder than usual’ and then turned it in. Later, he received a visit from his excited professor.

It turned out  that Dantzig had solved two of the most famous unsolved problems in statistics. He did what no one else had been able to do! Pretty cool, right! He went on to become a mathematical scientist publishing more than a dozen books.

What is important to note about Mr Dantzig is that he was not limited by his beliefs when it came to solving the unsolvable problems.  Since Dantzig arrived late to class he hadn’t heard his professor’s remarks when he put the problems on the blackboard.

Since he wasn’t limited by those remarks, and since he assumed the two problems were homework, he went ahead and worked on them as homework. There was nothing very unusual about them so his mind was free to solve them. His thoughts did not stand in his way.

How many others, before him, had tried to solve them is not known. These were famous unsolved problems. Perhaps, many others, tried and failed assuming they could not be solved. Not Dantzig. He assumed he would find the solutions.

Because he was clueless he just went right ahead and succeeded where others could not. He wasn’t stopped or prevented by ‘I can’t’ thinking. He just did what he always did. Because he believed it to be homework he believed it to be solvable.

After all, that is what we come to expect about homework that there is an answer we can find and deliver. It never occurred to him that he couldn’t solve the problems. Our beliefs and expectations set the framework for what we believe is possible or not. These determine our attitude, This is important to note.

Our brains have evolved to solve problems and hit targets. Our brains work to achieve goals. What we think about and speak of matters a great deal. If we THINK something is not possible then it most likely isn’t. Our beliefs and expectations matter! If we think something is impossible we may not even try.

the mind that perceives the limitation is the limitation

Limitations are set by our thinking. If we think something isn’t possible and if we don’t try then WE will have really made it impossible. If we think something is possible WE open a door for opportunity.Our expectations determine our accomplishments.

We determine how hard something is to accomplish by whether we  think something IS possible but difficult or possible and easy. Our expectations determines our success. We are far more likely to reach our goals and dreams when we think the best and have the most powerful positive attitude possible.

Stop thinking you can’t do the things you want to do. You CAN be, do and have anything you desire when you believe you can. You can make anything happen. How you use your thoughts will determine whether you rise or fall. There is a purpose to thinking positive.

When you think positive you think powerfully. Your brain helps you get what you go after more easily. Think ‘I can’, “I am able’, ‘this will be easy’. See, visualize yourself as one who is able to make things happen and you will more readily make things happen.

Pursue your dreams without limiting beliefs and you can accomplish anything. Surprise yourself with amazing results because you don’t limit yourself!

When you are free from limitations, as Dantzig was, you make great things happen. Henry Ford stated, ‘Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right!’ Become a can-do person and make your dreams come true!” Rex Sikes

What is good and new today? Find it!

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Attitude, Beliefs, Creating The Future, Definite Chief Purpose, Focus, Habit Formation, Happiness, Healthy Choices, Joy, Positive Thinking, Positive Thoughts, Self Improvement

Could This Be Holding You Back From Everything You Want?

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your only limits

“What holds you back? How come you aren’t making more headway in your career or in life? Are you displeased with the results you have been getting? Does it seem tough to make positive changes? Are you troubled by negative thinking? Do you find changing your thoughts difficult? Is this you?

At some level most of us know that our beliefs and attitude determines how happy and successful we can be. We ‘get’ that what we think and feel can make a big difference for us in our careers and our lives.  It’s just that when it comes to actual practice we seem to get bogged down. We try and sometimes we give up.

I recently read an article that said negative thoughts are difficult to avoid and that positive thinking is tough. The author went on to state that it is better to change our beliefs instead. I thought what an interesting belief that is.

Beliefs are just thoughts we think over and over. They are thoughts, most of which, we have adopted from other people while growing up. They can be beneficial or detrimental. Many beliefs are ‘lies’ we heard so often or told ourselves so frequently that we simply came to accept them as true. Some serve us well while others don’t.

Beliefs are only chronic thoughts, habitual thinking. Habits are tenacious, whether good or bad. It requires some dedication to develop a habit or to change a habit. We can find it difficult or easy. Whether it IS difficult or easy or how long it takes IS completely up to us.

So what can you do? You can change thoughts (and beliefs) and there are times when you want to. Positive thinking may seem difficult because of what you are used to doing but it isn’t any more difficult than negative thinking. Negative thinking may be more familiar to you. IT is simply a matter of what you are used to. Having positive thoughts IS just as easy as having negative ones!

If YOU don’t like the results you have gotten in your life so far then to continue to think and do what you have done is silly. You won’t get anything different by doing the exact same thing. You need to make changes in order to get changes! Unless you change things will remain the same.

There is a purpose to negative thoughts. Primarily, less than glorious thinking serves to provide you feedback for when you are off course. It is part of your internal guidance system. You won’t hit your target UNLESS you recognize when you are off target. These thoughts and feelings alert you that something may be amiss. They arise so that you can make adjustments and corrections. They inform you that you are off course SO YOU CAN change your direction.

Negative thoughts and feelings help you to clarify what you want BECAUSE they are powerful indicators of what you don’t want. They tell you what you don’t want so you can better determine what YOU DO WANT INSTEAD! The negative should only serve to clarify the positive. That is their function and purpose.

Listen to them BUT just briefly then let them GO! They got your attention use the information and move on. Put your attention and focus on where you intend to go. Put it on the solution to a problem. Keep it on the positive. Think about what you want to be, do or have and pursue these.

You stop the negative and aim at your positive destination. Once you realize you have gone of course while traveling in your car you simply adjust and get back on course. You correct and head towards your destination. After all, that is where you want to go. Forget about having gone off course as that doesn’t get you there. Let it go!

If you don’t like the results you have been getting then you must change whatever you are thinking, feeling and doing in order to get the kind of results you prefer. It IS that simple! You must change something! It doesn’t have to be arduous.

Negative thoughts are only your old habits and you must build new ones. It takes some dedication but it can be far easier than you might believe it to be. Give it a shot. Surprise and delight yourself! Change can be fun.

what you think about you bring about

The author of the article believed it was difficult to avoid negative thoughts and that positive thinking was difficult. Do you understand that is the pot calling the kettle black? The author THINKS positive thinking is difficult. If you believe something to be the case THEN it most likely is the case.

Beliefs set the frame. Beliefs organize our perceptions. If you believe something to be difficult you expect it to be difficult. Then it certainly may be. It works the same way if you believe something to be easy.

What we find to be the case  IS most often a matter of what we THINK it to be in the first place. Our attitude determines our altitude. Believe it and you will see it! There is a lot of research backing all this up.

The Placebo and Nocebo Effect demonstrate this. If you believe something (a pill, an exercise, an amulet, chicken soup, anything) will help you it certainly may. Research has shown that you can get statistically significant (positive) results even when there is nothing about it to make that so. This is the Placebo Effect. It is what we believe that is important!

If you believe nothing will help you then even though there are medicines and practices and foods (and yes, maybe even amulets)   that typically do help you may not experience the benefits. This is the Nocebo Effect. Nothing may help if you believe nothing will.

These effects are well studied and documented. They results are well known but not so well understood or put to good practice. At times, doctors, researchers and others who SHOULD know better may even dismiss something as ‘it is just the placebo effect’. WOW, that is the height of folly.

If you go to a medical practitioner having eaten a pear (or anything) and tell that person you magically feel better (because you do) and they say to you, ‘that is just the placebo effect’ then they have just violated their oath to ‘first do no harm’. They should say ‘FANTASTIC”, you are feeling better and continue to investigate the medical issue as necessary. They should not spoil a positive effect!

Even the medication you take (that has active ingredients demonstrated to benefit) or a practice you engage in IS subject to working because of the Placebo Effect. You believe it will benefit you and it does. These work together and are not isolated.

Beliefs work in concert with the ingredients to bring about positive change OR they work in opposition. The best combination is the healthiest practice. The most positive outlook and expectation is the wisest choice apparently. You want everything aimed positively!

It has also been demonstrated that even he care of a compassionate caregiver may be enough to help heal because the person believes in the caregiver. It has been demonstrated that the doctor’s belief in the medicine prescribed can help the patient to believe and to benefit as well. I think this is so incredibly cool! It speaks volumes about out abilities to benefit ourselves and each other.

So if you think changing your thoughts is difficult that may be the first belief you want to change! It can be easy and it can be exciting and it can even be fun. You, your mindset, determines what it will be. Start out by expecting the best. Why not? Have some fun!

Don’t talk yourself out of feeling wonderful because you don’t believe it is possible. Take a moment and doubt that one! Suspend your beliefs for a moment. Take a break long enough to try on something new. You may discover a better fit for yourself.

You take off your clothes and try on new ones when you are shopping for something new and different. You easily try on the new items while looking for ones you like and want to keep. It isn’t that difficult to change.

beautiful thoughts positive emotions miracles

Although, you may look in the mirror and think ‘this is not my style’, it could be. It just isn’t your style, yet. Others wear these items. You just don’t because you haven’t and have not grown accustomed to dressing this way. You could wear it you just don’t want to. That is fine you do not have to BUT you COULD,

For you to get used to wearing it you’d probably have to do so for a little while. As a late teenager, I never thought I would or could enjoy wearing Hawaiian shirts and drawstring pants until a girlfriend insisted I wear them. If you try something different YOU might even enjoy it! You won’t know UNLESS you give it a worthy try.

Isn’t your attitude and your life more important that a new dress or suit of clothes? Don’t you owe it to yourself to take off old beliefs that may not serve you well and try on some new ones that may serve you better? AGAIN, you won’t know unless you give it a worthy try. Don’t sell yourself short because you OR someone else doesn’t think it possible. Give it a try.

Try on a new belief. Try it on for awhile and get comfortable with it. Try for 30 or 60 days. You’ll make the new belief. Yes, the old one may call to you for a while during the process but eventually it will let go and the new habit will take its place. Enjoy the process. Take it lightly. The more fun you decide to have with it the more fun and easier it will be. You will be surprised. You’ll be delighted.

In previous blog pages I have discussed how you can easily begin to change your thinking and change your life. You can be, do and have anything you want!  Start easily by filling your mind with positive and inspirational thoughts and ideas. Read at least a page from healthy positive inspiring books each day. Listen to audios. Take the initiative!

Go back and read through these blog pages again and again. Try on some of the approaches and practices. You will begin to utilize the secrets, tips and suggestions in your every day life. Change can be fun and easy. Take it lightly. Decide to enjoy it. As with a delightful meal savor it bite by bite. You will discover so many incredible moments when you do.” Rex Sikes

Help others smile more today and you will too!

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How To Stop Creating What You Don’t Want And Start Getting What You’ve Always Desired!

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no whining

“In my workshops, beginning in the 90’s to this present day, we put up signs that display ‘No Whining’ symbol. I do this to remind people how to best use their minds. Many people waste time whining and complaining instead of spending their time targeting and going after their goals and dreams.

It isn’t just a major waste of time. It is a powerful way to attract exactly what one doesn’t want. We get more back of whatever it is we put out there. Positive or Negative it doesn’t matter. Whatever we focus on we will get back. Whatever we focus on the most we get back the most!

Like attracts like. If you send out negative thoughts, vibes and actions that is what you get in return. If you want a positive abundant life then you need to put that out there FIRST. The you will get back the positivity and the abundance you put out. You reap what you sowed!

It is time people stop being a victim. People need to end their helplessness. They need to stop thinking that they aren’t responsible for their good or bad times. Many act as if they can’t do anything or make anything happen. They are absolutely wrong!

The truth is people are ALREADY making things happen. Sadly, many are making crumby things. It is time to stop that. Can-Do people focus on what they do want, what they can do, how they want to feel and on solutions. Can-do people make the things they want to happen, happen. It is their intention to create great things.

They focus on gratitude and celebration. They focus on making life as wonderful as it can be. Whenever they discover themselves thinking less than glorious thoughts or having less than glorious feelings they make the change. They know it is up to them to do it!

They don’t blame others nor do they expect others to do the work for them. They take 100% responsibility for whatever they create in life. Because they take responsibility they create and attract what they intend to! They get back good things because they first put good things out there for themselves and others.

They know there will be obstacles but they do not let that stop them. They search for creative means to overcome difficulty and to continue to move forward. They are consistent in their practice and persistent in their pursuit, They follow through. They do not quit!

They decide and they act. They don’t wallow of waffle. They make a decision and move forward. If they make a wrong decision they correct it. They take the bull by the horns and move ahead without fear. They understand flexibility and creativity is desirable.

They are proactive and work to make things better. They realize that it begins and ends with THEIR mindset, how THEY feel and THEIR actions. They resolve to do the best. If you aren’t already, become a can-do person. Make your life work in wonderful ways. You can, you know!

Realize you are always creating. Everything you have or don’t have you have created. Take 100% responsibility for everything because when you do change can begin to happen. As long as you blame the outer world, luck, circumstances or others you WILL remain the same.

Change your mindset!  Recognize your power as a creator!  Stop putting energy into what you don’t want and put it into making what you do want. YOU can make the life you have always desired. You can Be, Do and Have anything! It’s up to you.

Guard your thoughts, your feelings, your speech and your actions. Strive to always do that which is positive and that which heals. Do that which blesses others and helps all prosper. Create good things!

When you do this you are well on your way to having an incredible life. In an instant everything can begin to transform. It will begin the second you take 100% responsibility for everything! Claim your power! Live the life you’ve intend to live! It is up to you. DO IT!” Rex Sikes

Help others smile more today and you will too!

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Affirmations, Attitude, Beliefs, Creating The Future, Faith, Focus, Getting Over The Past, Goals, Happiness, Law Of Attraction, Mental Movie Theater, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development, Positive Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Positive Thoughts, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Visualization

How To Easily Stop Your Life From Sucking!

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change perception change chemistry

“If the outside world sucks the inside one does as well AND vice versa. What most people miss completely is they are already living the thoughts they are thinking about. It need not be this way! Would you like to learn how to change it? You can.  Life doesn’t have to suck.

They simply don’t realize that their lives are a reflection of what’s going on in their head. Our present reality is always preceded by the thoughts we think. Thought precedes action. As above so below!

If they have bills and debts and are worried about making payments they ARE living their dreams. Except, these may just be nightmares. It is not the dream they want to be living. It doesn’t have to be this way, it just is, at least temporarily.

It could be any issue. It may be problems with family, health, wealth, well-being. It could be job or career related disappointments. In fact, it could be anything at all that is less than fulfilling. People live sad, lonely, fearful lives instead of living joyfully and victoriously.

These people, it could be you, it certainly was me, think it is hard to make changes.  They believe that they will have to do something new and different. They think they will have to overhaul their life in order to change. They believe it may not be worth the effort.

They are wrong! They have been deceived. They have been mislead and have gone astray. Since they are ALREADY creating their present world by their thoughts they don’t have to do anything extra special at all. BUT what they believe will determine what they do. It already does! They think it is too hard to change.

This is where they are completely off base. They have already been using their minds powerfully. They just use them in the wrong direction while not realizing it. They imagine difficulties, they talk about problems and they fear the worst. They don’t expect it to get better but they wish it would. They reinforce their problems.

Worry is negative goal setting. Thinking about what you don’t want, fearing the worst, brings you more of the same. Like attracts like whether it is positive or negative. It doesn’t matter whether it is good or bad birds of a feather still flock together.

there is nothing impossible

We are where our thoughts have brought us. We will be where our thoughts take us. We can not escape the power of our thoughts! These people have ALREADY been affirming EVERYTHING they do not want. These people have been using positive affirmations in reverse. They have been getting what they do not want!

They have used ‘negative suggestions’ against themselves to affirm and create and support the issues they prefer to get rid of. Their present IS precisely due to how they have used their minds! Our present will always be a reflection of what we are thinking inside!

They don’t have to START positive thinking or start using affirmations. Nope, not at all. They just have to CHANGE the DIRECTION of their thinking. They will use the same creative energy aimed it in a different way. They’ll aim it in a powerful, positive productive way.

The ‘Placebo effect’ states that if you believe something is helpful, even if there is nothing about it that works, it IS still helpful much of the time. Our minds are creative. Our beliefs determine what we experience. It is because we believe we help ourselves not because the pill or amulet has any special property.

The ‘Nocebo effect’ states that if you believe nothing will help you, even if it IS beneficial, then much of the time it won’t work. These powerful effects work or don’t depending on what we believe. Our minds are powerful. We are creators. We have already created.

If life isn’t working out then all they really have to do is switch what they are doing. They switch from the negative, the less than glorious, or destructive, unhealthy thoughts to positive healthy ones.

Instead of spending their time in worry fear, anger and sadness they spend their time in positivity, hope, joy and determination. These people think affirmations don’t work and fail to realize that they are already affirming their failing lives.

They are upset, poor, unhealthy, and disenchanted.  When they speak they talk about their worry, fears, problems. They blame the universe, the economy, others and even themselves. They focus on what is wrong more of the time than on what is right.

you will see it when you believe it

Yes, they are already affirming. They have got what they don’t want. The are good at getting what they do not want. I certainly, was. AND they keep promoting what they don’t want. They reinforce it by their words, and actions each day.

Once they realize and take 100% responsibility for creating and attracting and maintaining what they don’t want they can begin to turn it around and get what they do want. Shut the door on the old ways, turn away from them, let them go, and open the new door to adventure and a wonderful new life.

Let go of the problems and focus on solutions. Stop thinking and talking about and reinforcing what they don’t want. Start thinking about and talking about what they do want. What we think about most of the time is what we become. What we focus on we get.

If you don’t like where you are at you can change it! What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for it to magically get better? Are you hoping you won’t have to do anything at all and that somehow you will be saved? OR re you waiting for it to get so bad you must do something.

If you wait ALL you will have done is spent more time waiting. Instead, begin today and start living the dreams you want. If you want your life to change you must change things in your life. Change the direction of your thoughts and feelings. Reinforce the positive!

If you want some powerful assistance reading my blog will help you. Go back and read through my posts. Each of them contains the ways and means you can most easily make positive changes. As you do this you will begin making your life more and more what you WANT it to be. It can be wonderful! You can do it. Do it now! Rex SIkes

Find more to smile about today!

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Who Do You Say You Are? It Matters!

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thoughts design my energy

“What would you say if you were asked to describe yourself? What words would you choose? Who do you say you are? It matters. It is important how you define yourself. Your self image determines how your experience life and whether or not you reach for your goals.

Maxwell Malts, the author of Psychocybernetics, has said, ‘Our self image, strongly held, determines what we become.’ and ‘Self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment.’ He further pointed out that, ‘Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.’

Researchers have stated that how much a person values oneself can be assessed by the first five words one selects to answer this question. If your word choices are negative adjectives consider changing how you think about yourself. Stop thinking of  yourself in less than glorious terms and find those things about you that you  can appreciate.

You will benefit greatly by focusing on those things that mean you are special, unique and wonderful.  Maltz stated, ‘The ‘self-image’ is the key to human personality and human behavior. Change the self image and you change the personality and the behavior.’

Take a little time each day to find those things about yourself you are grateful for. Look at those areas you can be proud of and reflect on them. Perhaps, business isn’t going so well but you are a marvelous homemaker. Maybe you are a great Dad or Mom. You might be poor at certain sports but great at math.

Take time to make sure you view yourself in the best possible ways. Learn to accept, like and love yourself especially in those moments when you you might not feel like. Realize there are so many more positive aspects to you than you may have ever realized. Take the time to discover what they are and empahsise them. Focus on them. As you do this daily will find it makes an incredible positive difference for you” Rex Sikes

Delight in this day!

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How You Define Your Success Is Important!

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just because soemthing isn't happening

“For everything there is a season. When you plant a seed it takes time to grow. Everything happens in time and at it’s own pace. It’s okay to push yourself but don’t stress yourself. Understand that some things take time. Relax while you continue.

When you are creating your future and making your dreams come true you may not see immediate results but hang in there. Be patient, be positive and as long as you are moving ahead they will eventually show up. Nurture yourself along.

Faster isn’t always better. Slow and steady can win the race. Don’t beat yourself up over not getting there fast enough. Success, as defined byEarl Nightengale, is ‘the steady progression toward a worthwhile goal.’ It is a process.

At the end of each day if you have done one thing to move forward you have had a successful day. If you have attempted to do your best that then you can feel good knowing that is as good as any person can do. You are progressing.

It has been said that ‘you can light 1000 candles and more off of just one candle. The only requirement is that your candle is lit first’. No matter how small that flame is it still burns. Much can be accomplished. Remember, your light shines! YOU will light the way in darkness.” Rex Sikes

Today, find some extra time to relax and nurture yourself!

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A Simple, Easy Way To Feel Better And Stronger

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I am blessed and I am talented

“Today, spend some time focusing on your strengths. Emphasize your strengths. There are things you are good at AND there are things you are very good at. Some things you are naturally good at. What are these? Other things you have learned to be good at.  What are those?

Focus your energy on the abilities you have. Spend your time recounting these. Make a list. Enjoy these. Feel grateful. Focus on your accomplishments. Allow yourself to feel really great. Appreciate who you are and what you can do. Bask in feeling wonderful about yourself.

You have the potential to become great at some of these things if you want to. You can develop these areas. Take some time each day, whenever you have a moment, and appreciate what you are already able to do. Spend time reflecting on these. Enjoy!” Rex Sikes

Gift yourself. Do something special just for you today.

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Acceptance, Creating The Future, Focus, Habit Formation, Healthy Choices, Law Of Attraction, Living In The Moment, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Positive Thoughts, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Unlimited Power

Tied Down And Captured By Problems? How To Get Free Now!

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what consumes your mind controls your life

“In Jonathan Swift’s novel ‘Gulliver’s Travels’, the hero Gulliver takes to the sea. Misadventure occurs and he is thrown into the water then washed up onto the shore. While sleeping on the beach, tiny 6 inch tall people called the Lilliputians, capture and chain him and imprison him inside a large abandoned temple inside the walls of Lilliput. So let’s stop right there and examine what we have so far.

A large person, unconscious, is taken prisoner by very tiny people. Let’s analogize or make a metaphor from this. Normally, a person goes about their business. Though when unconscious they may get captured. Let’s forget about little people or other captors and consider this. When we are unaware we may get tied down by all sorts of little things that might otherwise not be an issue.

It could be other people, it could be the comments people make. It might be clutter on your desk or in your home. Perhaps, the kids aren’t listening. The boss (he or she) is breathing down you neck at work OR at home. It could be any number of tiny small events that add up and create stress and bog you down. They capture your attention and imprison you in any number of ways. When you are unaware you tend to forget. You are lost in an unsavory moment. You can’t see the way out.

Face it little stressors add up. One Lilliputian Gulliver could easily handle. Scores of them, not so much. So make it a point of taking care of the small things before they add up or pile up. Nip them in the bud before they capture you. If you are spending your time worrying about, concerned with lots of minor things, you don’t have the necessary energy for the big important things. Plus, life is not as enjoyable as it can and should be.

Remember, we get what we focus on. So if you are primarily focused on all the little things AND the big things that aren’t right, that go wrong, that cause discomfort, you are really short changing yourself. We become what primarily occupies our attention. Is it problems or solutions? Is it uncomfortable and negative or delightful and positive? What is it that fills your mind? This is what you need to become aware of. WAKE UP! What are you focused on and is it making life better or worse?

If it is making it worse you have the opportunity to change it for the better THE INSTANT you recognize what you are doing to cause your discomfort. You have the opportunity to change your thoughts, your feelings and actions so you are able to live more enjoyably. It is in an instant, within seconds, that we can change. It is in this moment you have a decision to make.

Either proceed as you are in the less than glorious, stressful, uncomfortable way OR change whatever you are doing so that you can proceed in a more enjoyable, positive, powerful, productive way. Whichever it is IT IS UP TO YOU!!

what you allow is what will continue

SO decide. AND learn to relax, let go. Accept, don’t resist. Let it ALL go! Awareness is the key. Gulliver was captured when he was unaware. We all have these moments. It is human. So don’t blame yourself (or others), or regret or worry that only adds fuel to the fire. What you resist persists. When you blame self or others you only feel worse.

Let it go. Become aware that you can shift your attention from the stressors to other things to pay attention to. Perhaps, you need a short break. Maybe you need to take a walk, listen to some music, go for a jog, take a nap, eat some food, whatever it may be, you want to change how you are thinking and feeling. Momentarily, change what you are doing.

You want to interrupt the negative thoughts, stop thinking them, take a break or some deep breathes and put your attention on more enjoyable positive thoughts. When you are thinking and feeling better then you can begin to positively work through whatever you may need to from a more optimum mental, physical, emotional, spiritual place.

Literally, you let go of whatever the stressor is, drop it. Turn your attention elsewhere, somewhere more enjoyable. Keep it there! Repeat as necessary. Don’t give in to the call from the less than glorious. Don’t answer. Let them all go. Focus on what you want and enjoy!

Realize you can handle things one by one. Let go of the snarky comments people may make. Declutter bit by bit, maybe only one item at a time. Remember, kids will be kids they don’t listen all the time because they also are learning to be independent (reframe however you need to). Reframing is putting a different label on the package. You substitute one meaning (a more useful, positive productive one) for the previous less than glorious interpretation.

Don’t let negative stressful things capture and keep you. Learn the fine art of letting go and getting free. Moving forward only requires that you do it bit by bit or one step at a time. Be gentle, loving and caring of yourself (and others, of course). Focus on what you want and enjoy. You get back more of whatever you focus on so stay positive!

Keep your attention on the positive and the possible and you will find opportunity and solutions because you are more mentally and emotionally fit. You are better equipped to meet the demands on you. Learn to love, laugh and live more wonderfully and fully! YOU can absolutely do this! ” Rex Sikes

Today is YOUR day! Celebrate

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Acceptance, Healthy Choices, Living In The Moment, Overcoming Difficulty, Positive Thinking, Positive Thoughts, Responsibility, Self Improvement

A Kiss Turneth Away Wrath!

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your attitude shows how valuable you are

“Here is something you can learn to do for yourself that will free you up from a lot of wasted time in conflict with others. It can free you up from a lot of time spent in pain. Usually when we are upset or argue with others blaming, even name calling may occur. If you want to be free it is important to learn how to disconnect.

It will benefit you, as it does each of us, to learn to be less affected by the words others use against us. When I grew up we learned ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me’. I thought then that was pretty awesome and I think so today too. However, some do not. Some think we should be careful with our words to not offend anyone.

I don’t disagree with that. We should be careful and sensitive and respectful. We ought not say things that hurt or offend others, We also should learn to have thicker skin or disconnect from others attempts to hurt us. We need to learn to not take their insults personally. We need to let them go. and be free from them.

Consider this. If some one you are arguing with suddenly called you a rocket ship how bent out of shape would you get? Would it hurt you or upset you? Most probably not. You might think, ‘what on earth is with this person?  Are they okay?’ You might laugh or express confusion but it wouldn’t devastate you, would it?

Ok, that is because you know that YOU are NOT a rocket ship. I am correct about this right, you aren’t one,  are you? You are a human being. So if someone called you a rocket ship you might think they were confused, out of their mind, silly, or anything else but you wouldn’t be bothered by it. I mean, you really wouldn’t, right?

The same applies to negative statements and names others might use to hurt us intentionally or unintentionally. They are behaving foolishly using names and negative comments so why react with hurt or anger. Let it go! This is a trick you can apply whenever you find yourself in a situation like this. Remember, you are NOT whatever another person says you are. You simply are not!

Unless of course you are. If they say you are lazy and YOU KNOW you are lazy then take it as useful feedback. Sometimes others deliver to us useful, needed messages. They just don’t do it in the nicest ways. If someone provides you with useful feedback even in the heat of anger, thank them because they have helped you face an area you may want to change.

When you acknowledge them positively, no matter what their reason is for saying hurtful things, you may short circuit their own mental programs. Here is an example.

we are our choices

I was in my mid 20’s, walking in my L A neighborhood, many years ago when some teenagers at the local school spotted me and yelled, ‘hey ass—-!’ I kept walking not realizing they were yelling at me at first. The tried again and taunted more continuing to call me that name. They continued yelling loudly and it got my attention.

I stopped. I looked at them and said sincerely, and I meant it. ‘Hey thanks you are right, I am an ass—-. Sometimes I forget that but you have helped me by pointing that out.’ They quickly scrambled out of there exclaiming ‘wow this guy is weird’ and they left me alone.

From my perspective they were right. There are times and have been times when I have acted that way. At that moment those teens yelling that alerted me to the fact. I thanked them and resolved in my mind to do better when dealing with others.

So two things, one it didn’t bother me that they called me a name. It illuminated behaviors that I took responsibility for. It was feedback albeit from a unlikely source for certain. The second thing, I responded nicely.

I thanked them and it freaked them out. I wasn’t trying to freak them out, just actually thank them. They just didn’t know what to do or say when I responded as I did. That may happen some times.

People around you may or they may not respond similarly. We just don’t know. But there is a scripture that says ‘a kind word turns away wrath.’ Personally, I prefer the Peanuts cartoon where Snoopy licks a ranting Lucy who runs off in terror having had her face licked by a dog. And Snoopy thinks, ‘a kiss turns away wrath’.

Think about it and learn not to be so affected by other’s words and deeds. Forgive, let go, be nice when you are able, or imagine they called you a tree house instead. Life is much more fun and interesting when we don’t get hooked by others in the heat of argument. Spend more time making life nice for yourself. ” Rex Sikes

Make all your moments miraculous!

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Habit Formation, Happiness, Learning, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Positive Thoughts, Self Improvement, Success

What Does The Piano Have To Do With Positive Thinking?

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determined to help yourself

“Imagine learning to play the  piano. There is a lot to pay attention to. Perhaps, you begin playing with just the right hand. The melody. When you make a mistake and hit the wrong note you correct it and go on. It can seem arduous, nearly impossible at first to master it all.

Eventually, you add in the left hand. You add in chords and then peddles. As you continue to practice you develop rhythm and speed. After a while you are able to play the song. You learn other songs. Soon you have a a number of songs you can play. One day you play many different songs, you may even write your own.

When you play and perform you don’t recount all the effort you went through to learn to play. Now you can play anytime and anywhere and even learn difficult songs much more easily. You have built skills and made them a habit.

It is a reliable skill set you developed. You put in the initial effort and now you have a talent you can rely on and be proud of. It is easy now and pleasurable. What was once hard is now fun and easy. You made a big difference in your life adding in a new ability.

The same is true of learning to think positively. You learn the fine art of control. Think positive thoughts. When you find yourself thinking a negative thought, stop it and immediately  correct it. Just as you do on the piano when you hit a wrong note. Return to the positive.

If your mind goes astray simply do whatever it takes to get it back to the positive. While driving if you drive too far to the right side or the left side of the lane you simply adjust back to center. You do this constantly while you drive. You keep adjusting to stay centered. You learned to do this now you don’t even think about it. It is habit!

You correct as you move forward. In a similar fashion you steer your thoughts back to positive thoughts. Remove the energy from the negative. Withdraw it. Let it go! Put your energy into thinking positive. Don’t fight the negative just turn your back on them.

Practice will make perfect and in time it will get easier and easier. It may seem difficult at first but you will get the hang of it. When you do your entire life will change. Truly!  A positive mindset is essential for success and continued happiness.” Rex Sikes

Make all your moments miraculous!

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