Category Archives: Blessings

Acceptance, Affirmations, Attitude, Blessings, Celebration, Directed Questions™, Focus, Gratitude, Happiness, Healthy Choices, Intentional Thinking, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Smiling, Trust, Vibrations

Accidents Happen And Boy When They Do

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“It turns out the universe wants me to slow down. This morning, I was exiting the house, keys in hand on my way to a meeting, focused on hitting the button on the keys to open the car when I hit an uneven spot in the walkway and was pitched headfirst into my car.

I slammed into the car, my left knee hitting the pavement, my right foot twisting and turning under me as I fell on it. I got up slowly, it was difficult, my knee scraped and bleeding, my right foot sore. My wrists and forehead worse for wear but ok. I laughed, ‘what was that?’

I hobbled around looking for my keys. Took about 10 minutes when I noticed them about 20 feet away in the driveway in front of the car. Onto my meeting I went, sore but okay. I laughed it off at the meeting and had a most wonderful, marvelous meeting of new beginnings in many ways. Many new doors opened right then.

In olden by gone days I would have sworn, complained, wondered what I had done to cause this, or wondered why I had crappy luck. I would have been miserable. I would have poisoned the pot with negative self-talk, criticisms and negative questions.

Today, I could only think, ‘This is a blessing!  Wow, something good is going to come of this. I wonder what it might be. I have no clue. Surprise me.’ It was automatic.

As we were leaving the meeting I took my foot our of my shoe to see if it had swollen and stepped down onto the pavement and that was it. WOW! The pain was unbelievable. Up until then everything was fine, pretty much. I still had errands to run but now I was seriously hobbled and in a lot of pain.

I did them. I limped around doing errands the pain increasing all the while! I drove home. I barely made it into the house and into a recliner. Eventually, I called my daughter and asked if she could take me to urgent care. She came by and she did. What an angel. We got to urgent care about 4 hours after the injury.

At Urgent Care I passed out twice. I don’t recall it but so I am told. I nearly puked. I was hot and sweating. Apparently, I had spent too much time on the injury.

They x-rayed my foot eventually and gave me a diagnosis. The pain grew and grew. They wheeled me from room to room. They were very caring. Finally, they left my daughter and I alone in a room together.

I looked at my daughter and realized I was exhibiting pain in front of her all the while. She was watching Dad suffer. This isn’t a bad thing we all can hurt. Pain is a natural response.

However, recently I have been trying to tell her you can handle tough times, you can get through the pain, it too will pass and here I am passing out from it. I was not the example I hoped I would be. She, of course, already does know everything I am trying to ‘teach’ her. That’s the kind of person she is! Amazing.

I looked at her and focused on her. Inside I thought, ‘it is only pain’. I focused on my daughter, I kept that thought in mind and looked at her and my heart filled with love. Within minutes I knew I could handle the pain. We were smiling. It was wonderful.

During all of this time, from the accident onward, I kept thinking inside, ‘Wow, something good is coming my way, I have no idea what but something incredible is coming’.

I believe it too. I know it is. I began to say it out loud so she would know what I was thinking. ‘There is a blessing in all of this!, Something good will come of this.’ ‘I don’t know what yet, but it is a blessing.’

Speaking it out loud has its own power. It makes it more real too. AND I wasn’t lecturing I was just Dad talking to himself. I was affirming what I knew to be true and she was hearing me and seeing me. Even in crisis any of us can be resourceful. Everything can be a blessing if we only choose to see it that way!

If ever there is a strong, incredibly resilient person it is my daughter. She truly is my teacher as is my son. From the moment they were each born I committed to being the best guide I could be on our journey together.

I promised to love them no matter what. I also knew deep in my soul they would teach me more about parenting than I could ever teach them about growing up. I am the luckiest guy on earth with such incredible children.

Okay, so I know something about pain management and have practiced it for decades. I have taught pain control in workshops and seminars in various locations around the world. People have flow thousands of miles to spend days, weeks and months with me in seminars and live training.

Yet, in the heat of the moment I was caught up in the hurt.

I closed my eyes put my head back and began to think and ask myself, ‘what part of my body feels the very best?’ ‘In how many different ways can I discover myself feeling wonderful?’ ‘What is the best feeling I can find right now?’

‘Where does it feel wonderful? In how many different ways can I discover all the places in my body that feel good?’ I sent my brain on a search by asking questions and it delivered.

I used Directed Questions™ to direct my mind to what were the best feelings I could find. I found them and began feeling those! I began to experience relief. I was beginning to pay attention to what felt good instead of what felt bad. I was looking for what was right instead of what was wrong. I was finding it too.

My mind was attending to what felt the best. It was searching for the ways in which this incident was a blessing right now, in this moment, AND in the future with many good things coming my way. My daughter was here, we were together, she was helping me. This moment IS a perfect moment.

We were blessed in this way right in this moment! The moment was unfolding. It wasn’t just a blessing and an opportunity for the future it was a blessing right now. How lucky we were to be sharing this moment! An accident brought us this realization. How marvelous is that?

I had steered away from the pain back into the positive. You have read this or heard this from me before if you follow my blog or the materials I have shared for decades. I navigated to the more productive. I didn’t resist the pain or try to stop it. I looked for what was better. I dropped the pain and enjoyed feeling wonderful.

Yes, it really hurt but it began to subside. It became manageable. Yes, it was very painful when they manipulated my foot on the x-ray bed, or tried on various braces but as long as I realized ‘it’s only pain’ and allowed myself to be filled with wonder and enjoyed my awesome daughter I could handle it. Hours went by.

I told my daughter that looking at her helped me. I enjoyed and loved her and was feeling relief. Eventually, they found a brace that fit, gave me prescription for an MRI. Surgery may be required. Okay, so now some focus on healing swiftly may be the order of the coming days.

Right now, she is out running errands for us. Picking up food, etc. I am at home with my leg elevated and ice on it. I am fine. Does it hurt, sure but I am at ease with it. I have let go of the hurting and am focused on the miracles in life.

Everything is grand. I decided to share my thoughts while I had time during the day rather than my early morning writing schedule.

Another lesson I learned is: I should pay attention when I walk. Not be caught up in things. I used to practice ‘Zen Walking’, when walking just walk, the basis of Zen – be the activity and nothing more.

If you are going to wash the dish, wash the dish. If you are going to eat, just eat. No distractions, no TV, no phone or reading, just eat. Be one with the moment!

I had much on my mind. Slow down. One thing at a time. It may not need to be a rule but it can certainly be a lesson. I was inattentive walking to the car. Perhaps, I can use this lesson to remember to be more aware and alert when doing any number of things. A reminder to be aware! How marvelous is that?

I certainly remembered I didn’t have to be a victim to the pain. My first thoughts of pain added to what I was feeling. It made it worse. Once, I changed my thinking the pain lessened. I mean it really lessened!

I am not surprised because I teach this stuff. I know it works. I emphasize this because I was caught up in the hurting at first. Once I realized that, during everything that was going, and I utilized what I know works. It did. It worked! It worked quickly and powerfully. I could share other examples from my past but I won’t at this time.

On top of it my daughter is a marvelous nurse. She picked up delicious ‘OH SO GOOD’ authentic East Indian food from a friend who makes great dishes from her native land. We are having a feast. I am sampling while typing. Yes, very marvelous indeed!

I would never have received this delicious Indian dinner today. PLUS, as a result, I learned about a fantastic Indian Restaurant in my neighbor I didn’t know existed!!! Blessings come in all shapes and sizes.

I feel loved, cared for and grateful to have had this experience and to have such an incredible daughter. Thanks my darling! I’m a lucky Daddy!

I will have to slow down and take it easy for awhile. I have crutches and a brace and have been told to see the follow up doctors as soon as possible. Okay, I can do that. Tonight, I will relax, read some inspiring material and chill out feeling grateful.

All in all the events of the day, while not something I would have picked for myself, have been amazing. I have learned much and feel so loved and grateful. Something incredible has already come my way and I know more is on the horizon. Lucky Me!” Rex Sikes

How many blessings will you discover today? I wonder?!

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Acceptance, Affirmations, Attitude, Blessings, Celebration, Emotions, Focus, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Happiness, Learning, Overcoming Difficulty, Persistence, Positive Thinking, Responsibility

Do This When Frustrated, Angry or Feeling Bad!

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worry takes away today's peace

“How can you tell if you are focused on what you don’t want or what you do want? It is actually easy. Your have a signaling system that you can use. It alerts you when you are on or off track. You only need to learn how to recognize it to use it. It requires is becoming aware.

Your Feelings Are Your Signal System

If you are frustrated it is a signal you are focused on what you do not want. Negative emotion is the signal you are focused on what you don’t want. When you are feeling good and have positive emotions it is a signal you are focused on what you want.

Negative emotion only means you are thinking about what you do not want. Whatever you are thinking about mostly is what you get more of. You create the conditions of your life experience. You manifest more of the same. What you think about you become.

If you are frustrated, angry, depressed, anxious, worried, fearful, blaming and accusing, whining and complaining you are spending time and energy in a less than glorious place. The feelings that cause you to blame or complain are the signal.

If you catch yourself criticizing and speaking poorly about self, others, events and situations that is a signal. A clue you are focused in less than productive ways on what you do not want.

Once you become aware you are feeling negative, feeling frustrated, and you don’t like feeling that way you can do two things. First, you can get more frustrated, and more angry, you can get more intensely negative to the point where you think and say and commit to yourself,  ‘never again!’ You can ramp it up and get to that ‘this is the last straw’ point. From this point you can make changes you need to.

That is one way of dealing with it. It can and does occur naturally for people. They just get to the point where they know they have to change. That intense emotion is fine as long as it serves to take them to a place where they stop focusing on the negative and begin focusing on the positive.

The negative feelings are the signal you are not focusing on what you want. However, if you don’t change your focus to what you do want you won’t have the relief or get the results you hope for. You must wake up, pay attention to the signal and change what you are doing.

You must switch your attention. THAT IS WHAT your feelings have been trying to get you to do. You feelings are trying to GET YOUR ATTENTION enough for you to notice so you can SWITCH!

Remember, if you always do what you always did you always get what you always got. It is an opportunity to be productively different.

Clarify What You Do Want

Use the powerful negative feelings to figure out what it is you do want. Stop focusing on the negative and start focusing on the positive. Commit to staying focused on the positive. Whenever you feel negative there is an adjustment you should make. That IS the signal you are off course.

You have an internal guidance system. You have an internal GPS. You have a system designed to be self correcting. The unwanted thoughts and feelings inform you that you are off course. Don’t fight them, celebrate when you recognize the signal and make the necessary changes. Less than glorious means time to change!

Some people have spent so many years ignoring or fighting and pushing down and repressing their feelings they have difficulty telling when they are feeling good or  less than glorious. Still, you can learn to pay attention and benefit from this internal guidance bit by bit, Awareness is your key! It may be more subtle but you can do it.

Commit to paying attention. Do a self inventory frequently though out the day by asking ‘how am I feeling’ . Take a moment to evaluate and be honest. It is useful  to color chart your feelings using crayon or markers to indicate the changes during the day.

Notice predominant colors and notice how frequently you actually fluctuate. This is a great learning tool Give it a shot and you may surprise yourself.

You can ask someone  to assist you by pointing out when you are acting in certain ways. Just don’t bite their head off when they help. The goal is to become aware when you are feeling less than glorious so you can change direction.

Second, Make Incremental Change

You change from bad to a little bit better. Step by step. The goal is to feel a bit better. Actually, the goal is to feel the best you can most of the time, but if you are intensely down or angry going from that place to joyous is too big a leap.

Going from angry to frustrated is a smaller step and a worthwhile one. You are learning to lessen the anger and move away from it.

People either get frustrated and then angry or they can get angry and cool off to frustrated. It is like a gate that can move in either direction. A swinging door. So when you are really mad the goal is to cool off and begin to think of what you do want.

If you are down you want to get to a bit better place. A place more okay and begin thinking about what you do want. If you are depressed you may want to get frustrated and angry. At least, from angry you can act.

Because it is intense you create more movement. From there you can more readily change. Regardless, one needs to get to a place where ‘enough is enough’ and then make positive productive change.

What you want makes you feel good when you think about it. If when think about what you want you feel bad you aren’ t thinking about what you do want. You probably are thinking about how you don’t have what you do want.

You won’t feel good if you compare where you are to where you want to be unless you are celebrating closing the gap. If as you inch your way forward you are delighted the entire time then it is fine.

Gratitude Helps Make Everything Better

If you celebrate everything you are on the right track and you will feel better more of the time. How can you feel down and out, frustrated, angry or bored when you are thankful and happy and delighted about everything? You can’t!

Find every little thing you can to enjoy, and appreciate. The more you find the better you will feel.

Once you make gratitude and celebration a daily habit you will be thinking and feeling good most of the time. You will be much closer to making your dreams come true as you live this way. Then your head and heart is clear to find more opportunity and advantages each day. You are better equipped to handle obstacles, and disappointment. You are far more resilient and resourceful!

When you live in gratitude and celebration everything is incredible and getting better at the same time. It is one of the wisest and most powerful choices you can make. Celebrate everything, even the tough stuff! Look for the silver lining and emphasize it. Never waste an opportunity to feel grand!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today!

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Do This Whenever You Feel Upset, Down And Out! It Helps!

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many present impossibilities will be future realities

“Does it sometimes seem no matter what you do things just won’t work? Do you ever just feel down and out? When you feel bad have you noticed what you think and do that makes you feel worse? If so, you need to make an immediate change even when you may not feel like it.

Doing the same thing over and over but hoping for a different result has been called the definition of insanity because it is. We tend to drive ourselves crazy that way. We want it different and we want a change but we do nothing to make it different, we change nothing, but still hope it is different. THIS is wishing and magical thinking.

Somehow, we hope someone or something will come and rescue us. That magically the events or circumstances will change. THIS is a victim mentality. Instead of taking charge and changing things to make them better we do nothing to improve the situation but we complain about it and feel bad about it.

If You Want Your Life To Change Life You Must Change Some Things

One of the powerful ways to make certain things will be different is to watch what you say to yourself. Literally, become aware of your self-talk; the thoughts you say inside our head and out loud. Be aware of what you are seeing and imagining; picturing inside your minds that you react to.

We all have automatic habitual ways of talking to ourselves in less than gloriously when things get tough. We may even have chronic bad thinking which insures that things never actually get much better. With poor thinking we just live in some less than glorious holding pattern.

What we say to ourselves, what we think, governs how we feel and behave. We are either inspired and motivated or fatigued and defeated. Our attitude determines what we can and will do. If we speak poorly to ourselves we will get poor results. It will not be any other way. Most of us are aren’t aware of how negative we actually are.

Yes, we know some of the negative talk but most of it, because it is habitual, happens outside our awareness. This is why we need to become aware of what we are saying on the inside and the outside too. As we become aware we can make a real and significant difference. How readily do you complain to others?

You can change this! The key is to manage your self-talk and make it positively influence you. To do this it is necessary to replace a bad habit with a good one. Yes, it may seem difficult but if you do nothing you are can be assured that nothing will change. We can make positive thinking and self talk automatic! Wouldn’t that be nice?

You  Need To Watch What You Say To Yourself

You need to watch what you say to others about yourself! Watch the words that you speak. When you talk to yourself and others about yourself always talk in positive terms. Remember, I have said in previous blogs only speak that which blesses, heals and prospers.

Never let the situation, events or others have the upper hand by speaking negatively about yourself or them. Never describe or talk about negative situations because you only reinforce them when you do.

Always speak encouraging, positive, nurturing words to and about yourself. Say positive things you can repeat through out the day. Repeat them, again and again.

Repeat Positive Thoughts, Directed Questions™ And Affirmations Throughout The Day

While it may take some time to get the hang of this, or for you to see or feel the results, the longer you put off doing this the longer you remain the same. If you want your life to change you have to change things in your life.

You can’t do the same things and expect things to be different. When you truly decide to take charge and be responsible for what you think and do everything in your life can change for the better.

More to come! In my upcoming blog posts I’ll share with you more examples of Directed Questions™ and powerful affirmative statements you can utilize to change how you feel and how you think. It is important to take hold of the mechanisms within you that allow you to excel and accomplish you goals and dreams. Re-read previous posts!

One of the easiest and simplest ways to initiate change for yourself is through the use of Directed Questions™. As I previously mentioned these direct your mind without encountering resistance.

After all, it is something you are wondering about so you aren’t creating any conflict. Directed Questions™ grease the wheel and are an excellent way to begin.

The Way To Feeling And Being Better Is Already Within You

You have everything you need inside. The deception we have all bought into is that help comes from the outside. We think money, friends, a better job, car or home, will make us happy. We put our faith in things or in pills and bottles when we should put our faith in ourselves. YOU are resourceful, whether you currently know it or not!

Faith in things outside of you won’t help but faith in yourself will! You may not see it yet because of years of previous conditioning. You may even approach these concepts through your old habitual thinking. How else could you unless you decide to make a change?

You Want A Better Life Ask Yourself Better Questions

Learn to control your thoughts and feelings and life will be so much more. Even when troubled times arise you will be better equipped to handle them. You will create and attract and discover more wonderful times too. You will steer your mental ship where you want to go successfully navigating all waters.

We become what we think about day and night. We operate from what consumes us and occupies our mind. You want different results the first step is you need to decide to think differently. You need to decide and then do! You need to act and follow through on your new decision. Do you want your life to be marvelous?

You will live more fully and enjoy more opportunity and advantages than you may have ever known. Begin today. Decide today. Nothing will change without your decision. Make it now! Begin to live well! Live the way you are meant to!” Rex Sikes

What can you do right now to make today incredible?

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How To Get Miraculous Results

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gandhi there is a force in the universe

“When you practice giving to others unconditionally you not only benefit them but you truly benefit you. Because you are not looking for any return your motive is pure. You want to help another. Your goal is to help another feel blessed, to heal and to prosper.

Your focus is not on what you can get but on what you can give. Your care is for them not for you, When you give in this way you open yourself up to allow others to gift you too. You open yourself up for the universe to gift you. Doing this is an incredible gift YOU give to you!

Because your care is on them and not that they return your kindness you open yourself to be gifted in whatever way it manifests. If it manifests instantly that is wonderful if nothing immediately happens that is wonderful tool. Recognize that everything is perfect.

Today, practice graciously receiving. Allow yourself to remain open and receptive. Let others give to you. Find delight in the smallest of things. Celebrate being open. Know good things are coming your way even though you may not be able to see them. Live in faith.

Practice this daily. Give and allow. Practice the Golden Rule; think the best and do the best for others. Celebrate them. Go the extra mile in helping people. Rejoice in their good fortune when good things happen for them. Celebrate everything!

Be receptive and expect good things to come your way without demanding anything. Practice gratitude. Really feel grateful. Discover your joy and in bask in it. As you do these things you become more of these things. You transform!

You become what you think about most during your day. Your life can completely transform. You will find yourself more blessed than you might imagine. You will heal and you will prosper! The results of your thoughts and actions can be miraculous!” Rex Sikes

Delight in this day!

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Do This And Improve Your Odds For Happiness And Success

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whatever you do do well

“What would you like another person to do for you? If you had a wish for something wonderful, something small, that someone could do easily for you, some nicety, what would be your hope? If someone could ease your burden a little bit and put a smile on your face what would it take? Have you some things in mind?

Have you thought what would make you feel lighter and happier? Have you sorted through simple tasks another person could perform that would make you feel better; make you feel special, more valued; feel loved? What tiny thing could it be that might make all the difference in the world to you?

Got some? Very well. Are you easy or difficult to please? Did you find some simple things or are you still thinking? Okay, for those of you this might be difficult for and who will only be pleased if larger things are taken care of WHAT larger actions could someone take to make you feel better, feel validated, special and love; that would put a smile on your face, lighten your load and be worthwhile?

Got something now? Okay then.

Whatever you came up with small or large that would improve your life circumstances and make you feel better is exactly what you can do for someone else. Go do it! You want to feel better GO and make someone else feel better! Yes, you can ask them and find out what they actually want or you can surprise them with a gift.

Perhaps, it is as simple as phoning a loved on and telling that person you care. Maybe it is as easy as holding a door open for someone and saying a kind word. It could be you buy someone who looks hungry a meal, give a neighbor a ride, help out with chores around the house without having to be asked. Whatever you can do to help make someone feel special and cared for DO! Do it!

In giving you will be receiving. You will open the doors for your kind actions to be returned. This is especially true if you expect nothing in return. If your kind actions are in and of themselves enough reward for you you will be rewarded. NOW and perhaps in the future. It may not come from the person you helped but you are making a positive difference in someone’s life.

I don’t think it is mystical at all. It is the law of cause and effect. You cause someone to feel good sometime, somewhere, somehow it will be returned. Again, do it for no reason if you really want the greatest benefit. Your own good feelings can be enough reward. Whenever you are down, or down and out, help another person first and you will find strength, joy and comfort.

Go help a child. Volunteer. Visit the elderly, go to a hospital. Help out at a shelter or soup kitchen. Go for a walk with someone. Visit a shut in. Send a thank you note. Help out at an animal center. Whatever you choose to do is up to you. It will make you feel good inside.

The Golden Rule is to treat people AND hold people with the same regard and respect as you want them to treat and respect you. Don’t wait for others to start it YOU begin it and watch what happens. You may not notice much at first but keep at it. You will make the world a nicer place as you pay it forward.

Smile at someone on the street. Say hello. Ask someone how they are doing or feeling. Be genuinely interested. Listen without judgement. You will be doing a world of good for yourself and for others. You may be surprised. Take your wish list I asked you to come up with and bestow it on others bit by bit. Nothing need be grandiose it only need be genuine! Care! ” Rex Sikes

Make magic happen today!

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This Ability Separates The Successful From The Unsuccessful

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invest in yourself

“How do successful business people and entrepreneurs handle stress and disappointment? Do they do things differently than the rest of the people? It turns out they do. What they do makes a critical difference in how they live and work and why they succeed.

Attitude Makes The Difference

Everyone faces challenges so it isn’t the challenges that sets these successful people apart from the rest. It was their ability to take disappointment or setbacks as only temporary. They were not defeated by defeats. They kept going.

Often in business setbacks come one after the other but successful people did not let that dampen their motivation or persistence. They continued onward. They maintained their attitude and expected things to work out for the best.

They were not born this way. These are skills they learned and cultivated. You can learn to be more adaptable and flexible in your approach too. You can be more resourceful in your work and in pursuing your goals and dreams.

You can move forward and not give up when challenges come your way or pile up. How?

Keep Everything In Perspective

It is your attitude that makes the difference. The CEO’s and successful entrepreneurs understood that you have to care but not that much! When dead none of this matters. Work is just another game you play. It is what you do to make money. Keep this in mind.

No one benefits if you work yourself to death or injure your health so that you are unable to enjoy your family and friends. Live first. Enjoy Life! Work hard BUT don’t kill yourself to get ahead.

It isn’t worth it to win the race and lose one’s life. Work or career is is not worth damaging your mental, emotional or physical health.

Enjoy Life Apart From Work

Have fun. Enjoy your family and friends. Enjoy hobbies and activities that have nothing to do with the work you do. Cultivate other interests that you look forward to doing. Find things to be passionate about.

Make time to do things you want to do with the people who are important to you. Walk, exercise, go to the gym.  Get out and have a good time. Take it easy and relax. Prioritize a healthy life over stressful work. You will work better and smarter the healthier and better adjusted you are.

Follow Your Purpose In Life

Hopefully, you are following your purpose in life through your choice of work. If not, look for ways that your work contributes to or helps you fulfill your life mission in other ways. Maybe, it is a means to save enough money to start your own company.

Perhaps, it is a stepping stone to the future whereby you gain valuable experience in needed areas. Find those reasons you are doing what you are doing and that keep you moving forward. Acknowledge and validate your efforts. Understand that whatever you are doing matters. You contribute to yourself and to others.

Keep going. Don’t quit when times get hard. See them through. You attitude and the reasons you are doing what you are doing will assist you in staying the course. You will remain committed for the right reasons. Persevere!

Smile, Giggle, Laugh And Breath

Smiling and laughter keeps us loose and relaxed. We stay healthier and happier and more relaxed when we laugh frequently. A good sense of humor is essential in dealing with life stressors. If you can find a silver lining in dark clouds or humor in adversity you will be on top of your game.

Norman Cousins wrote a book on the healing that laughter can bring. Watch funny movies and video. The internet is a good source for finding short clips to enjoy. Read humorous books and listen to funny audios. Obviously, you can watch comedians doing stand up.

The goal is to smile and laugh more each day. You can begin each day purposefully laughing out loud for at least five minutes while you get ready for work. It can be a form of meditation for you.

The laughing meditation. Just laugh. Even if you have to force yourself and it feels fake at first – do it. It will come more naturally the more you laugh. Laughing helps you to breath differently and breath deeper. It massages your diaphragm and is healthy for you.

Smiling more helps others feel better too. When you work with people and you look friendly and energetic and smiley it helps everyone. If everyone in the workplace did this imagine how enjoyable it could be,

Take deep breathes. Learn to breath correctly from the belly. Taking deep breaths is a stress reliever.  Throughout the day, lean back and deep breath for a minute or two. It is great for the immune system and over all health and well being.

Be Inspired And Stay Inspired

Read inspirational material daily. Entrepreneurs and successful business people surround themselves with posters and mottos. They read inspirational materials daily. They listen to audios that keep them motivated. They understand the importance of of a good, strong, healthy mindset.

Attitude is everything. When you fill your mind consistently with high quality inspiring thoughts you feel better. When you feel better you look better. You naturally smile and laugh more. You are more relaxed. You are better equipped to handle any setback or disappointments that comes your way.

Positive Thinking Is Solution Focused Thinking

Positive thinking is not fantasy thinking. It is realistic thinking. It is the ability to find your resourcefulness and apply it to any situation while expecting the best outcome. You work to find the best solution. You maintain a powerful frame of mind.

Since you are solution oriented you naturally you expect the best outcome whatever that may be. It is not wishful thinking. Positive Thinking is the application of strong thoughts about what you can and will accomplish and how. When you keep your mind inspired and positive you can achieve more.

Meditate, Visualize and Be Grateful

Meditate. The are many different ways to meditate. Close your eyes and listen, simply listen. Do nothing else. Pay attention to or feel your breath. Visualize relaxing in a wonderful place outdoors. Pick your favorite natural spot. Enlist all five senses and enjoy the peace and tranquility this brings.

You can repeat a mantra, a power word or a meaningful phrase to yourself. State an affirmation again and again. Manage your self talk – only say positive things to you. Alternatively, watch your thoughts come and go as an unbiased observer would, without judgement. Watch them drift off like leaves floating downstream.

Discover which form of mediating you prefer most by trying many. Take a minute or five whenever you are able. A good practice is to aside a specific time to mediate each day. You can do so for a few moments or an hour. It is up to you.

Visualize your goals as if you have already accomplished them. Since you made them happen see what you did to bring them about. Notice how you overcame any challenge or disappointment. Especially notice the wonderful feelings of having what you wanted, of making it your own and bask in these feelings. Enjoy these.

Feel grateful. Keep a journal. Visualize what you feel grateful for. Express your appreciation for yourself, others, events, situations and circumstances in your life. Be grateful for what you have done and what you have. Acknowledge others and be appreciative. Express your thanks. Live in celebration and abundance.

Enjoy The Good Feelings

The most important part of feeling gratitude is the feeling. The most important part of visualizing your future and what you want it to be are the feelings that accompany your wants. Emphasize and feel the feelings. Enjoy them. Savor them. Accentuate them and linger with them. The more you feel good and the longer you feel good the better overall.

Develop Successful Habits That Support You

Because the entrepreneurs made these practices habits they were more successful than those who do not. They were better able to keep going, not give up and handle challenges and disappointments when others weren’t. Because they kept a daily regimen for being positive, happy, healthy they work better and enjoy life more.

As you develop and sustain successful habits your life takes on a wonderful new sense of meaning. Everything becomes much easier and more enjoyable. The tough times don’t necessarily go away but you handle them better and get through them quicker because you are much more resourceful.” Rex Sikes

It is your day today! How are you going to spend it?

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Use This Simple, Effective Secret To Well-Being And Happiness

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“What would you do if you had everything? What if you had the fancy cars, the mansions, traveled by private jet, hobnobbed with celebrities, the rich and famous, and had a fabulous showbiz career but still felt empty inside? What if you had tried all sorts of therapies to feel better but still didn’t?

Recently, one of my coaching clients, in the entertainment business, came back to me with a progress report he wanted to deliver. When he first sought my counsel, years back, he had been doing well financially for quite some time. You’d have thought his life was quite perfect.

While he was outwardly a success, a large success, he stated ‘after all the money, I am still me. I am still a person with problems’. Normally, he felt something was missing. He could appear pretty upbeat and that all is well but he felt undeserving of his good fortune because, after all, he was ‘him’. Inside, he felt quite miserable.

That made him pretty cranky at times.  While other workers had him examine why he felt this way and work to uncover what might be at the core. I did not. I felt he already focused on what was wrong too much of the time and not enough on what was right and what was working for him. He had spent years in therapy without resolve.

I asked him to do what I have my seminar and workshop participants do. What I have done.  I asked him to do what I have shared in these pages.

Develop The Attitude Of Gratitude

First, I asked him to begin simply by making a list of the people and things in his life he is and was grateful for. I asked him to look into his life circumstances the very same way. What about his present AND his past could he appreciate? AND WHY? He was to write these down. He was to keep a gratitude journal. The ‘why’ was important too.

A few sessions later I asked him what lessons he might have learned whether he realized them or not? Could he go back through his life and connect the dots and see how, from this vantage point, things made sense in a way he had not noticed before? He could, in fact, and this was very useful for him. He saw his life unfold differently than he had ever considered.

For the first time he began to realize everything was perfect. Everything good and bad led him to this moment. Everything, every decision he made, every accident in life, all brought him to now as if by perfect design. He learned while on this route HE had been trying to get his OWN attention for years. He finally began to understand.

It was as if, all along, a higher self understood his issues and was attempting to help him resolve these. He just had not noticed nor had he listened. Now, he began to fully appreciate the stepping stones of life bringing him to THIS moment where he could re-claim, if not claim for the very first time, the authorship of his life.

Seek And You Wil Find

This illumination came to him in an instant but it didn’t come to him overnight. He spent some days and weeks devoted to seeking and finding moments to appreciate. I asked him to celebrate everything, as best he could, and to look for the silver lining in every dark cloud.

He did this morning and night. He was dedicated. He felt gratitude throughout the day. He stated that at first it seemed difficult but that it got easier and easier. Soon he kept discovering more and more. Soon he took 100% responsibility for his life and actions.

After all nothing else in his life had seemed to work to give him any form of relief. He had tried lots of therapy. That was one reason I didn’t approach it the way others may have. I simply asked him to focus on what was good, what was enjoyable, what worked and what lessons he could learn from all life events.

Like Attracts Like

I know that we become what we think about. I know that one thought attracts another and if you spend time thinking negative thoughts that will be the results you get. One negative thought attracts or causes another negative thought. That IS how we spiral downward.

If you spend your time thinking positive thoughts, if that is your primary focus, the results you get will be positive. You will feel positive and powerful. I had him concentrate on what was positive for him and what he could celebrate. He began to feel good about himself, positive, powerful and optimistic!

The list grew day by day, as did his positive feelings. In time he was a new person. His outlook had changed, his feelings had changed. He could enjoy all his wealth and accomplishments. He felt like a new person. He accepted himself and his past. HIs past became a meaningful treasure to him that had brought him to his present. No regrets, just more to celebrate.

What many people never learn or realize is that it IS just as easy to think positively as it is to think negative. People just do one more frequently than the other so they get good at one. Then the other seems foreign and more difficult to do. It isn’t, it is just as easy.

Develop Good Habits That Support You

In order to get good at doing something you never did much of before you have to do it frequently and regularly. You have to practice it as much as you practiced the other one. More in fact, until the new thought behavior is your primary one. It can take some time depending how much you dedicate yourself to it.

It can seem miraculous because it is. You can work miracles and bring about profound changes in thinking and feeling and positive action.

Now, I realize there are a lot of people like this gentleman that came to me. They have worked hard, climbed the ladder and still feel empty. Others live with lack and problems making ends meet. Rarer is the person who enjoys life and all works together well but they are out there too. Anyone can benefit by thinking better thoughts!

Whatever is going on for you YOU can change. You can change how you feel about it by how you think about it. IF you want to! If you don’t  want to you don’t. If you don’t want to you won’t. It’s simple.

You chose because it is YOUR choice. It is your decision. Nothing will change unless you decide to change it. If you don’t want to change IT will not change on its own. That is okay. Whatever you decide is what you decide.

You Can Change If You Want To

However, if you want things to be better they can be. If you want them to be different and if you want to enjoy yourself, and life much more, you can. There is a way but only YOU can do it.

If you want to life to change you will have to change things in your life. You become what you think about. My client changed what he paid attention to, what he had been focusing on. Hence he changes his thoughts from defeated to victorious. From ‘woe is me’ to celebration.

He changed his thoughts and his feelings changed. His life changed all for the better because HE looked into what HE was and is grateful for. He looked for small and large things to appreciate and celebrate. He viewed all situations as opportunities to learn and grow stronger and better. He changed because HE changed.

Remember is if you aren’t feeling how you want to feel AND you wish to change it and feel better, you can. There are many things you can do. One of the easiest and most powerful ways is to become truly grateful. Shift your attention to feeling lucky and blessed and you will transform everything about your life!” Rex Sikes

It’s your day how well will you spend it?

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Either You Are OR You Aren’t: Knowing This Is Great Power!

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start living your life fearlessly

“The concept is quite simple. Frankly, as simple as black and white, hot or cold, up and down. Think of it this way: you are either saving money or spending money. Your money either works for you or you work for it. You either are living fearlessly or you are not. It is simple!  What ARE you doing?

Possessions are either a feeder, contributing to your wealth and well being, or an eater, detracting from your wealth and well being. A car either appreciates in value or depreciates.

That is a pretty easy concept isn’t it? Your positive thoughts energy  ball is either larger or smaller than your negative thoughts energy ball. You either think positive or not. You either feel good or you don’t. You are either happy or you aren’t.

It Is Either One Way Or The Other Way

You are either nice to people most of the time or you are not. You either give and contribute to others or you don’t. You are either supportive and encouraging or you are not AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT. What are you?

What are you thinking, feeling and doing? What are you thinking, feeling and doing at any given moment? What are you thinking, feeling and doing RIGHT THIS MOMENT?

You need or want to notice which it is and whether that is what you want OR NOT. You are either doing well or you aren’t. You are either getting closer to your target destination or you are not.

All it takes is for you to be aware and notice what it is you are doing or mostly getting. If it is NOT what you want you have to change it for it to be otherwise. It is that cut and dried. It is that simple and straight forward. It is not complicated in the least.

We Become What We Think About

We become what we think about and focus on most of the time each day. Whatever consumes the mind is what we get. Either those are wonderfully powerful joyous thoughts or they aren’t.

If you want to think and feel better you need to make the decision about what you will concentrate on and then do it.

No one can do it for you. No one can think your thoughts or feel your feelings for you. No one can rescue you only you can. If you don’t like the results you are getting you CAN do something to get better results. You can change what you are doing.

If you are spending more than you are saving you can change that.

If you are focused on blame and worry and fear you can change that.

If you are eating the wrong foods for your health you can change that.

It Is Your Responisibility Alone

YOU have to take responsibility and correct the course you are on. It may be true, you have never done it before now, but you can learn to do it and you can be successful at it.

The decision is yours. You either decide to do it or you don’t do it. To not decide is to make a decision against doing anything. It will always be your choice and yours alone. The choice will always stare you in the face until you do something about it. Ignoring it is a choice.

If you want to be happier, healthier, wealthier you must think and do what brings that to you. You don’t move foward looking backward. If you want more happiness and enjoyment in your life you either take big steps or little steps towards it.

No steps won’t bring you what you want. Little steps will! You have to move toward what you want. What are you doing each moment? What are you moving towards this moment? Are you getting closer to what you want OR closer to what you don’t want? Figure it out and do what you need to do in order to get what you want!

You Determine What You Want And What You Will Get

If you want a life filled with gratitude and joy. Count your blessings every day. Look around for things and people to celebrate! Fill your mind and time with all that is good and joyous. Let gratefulness and joy consume you.

THEN you will get back what you put out. THEN you will become what you think about. THEN you will get what you want. If you want it make it happen. Decide Now! The miracle happens in the decision! More coming up on this topic! ” Rex Sikes

Make the most of this marvelous day!

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Acceptance, Attitude, Blessings, Emotions, Faith, Forgiveness, Friendship, Giving Unconditionally, Gratitude, Happiness, Joy, Laughter, Love, Overcoming Difficulty, Positive Thinking, Relationships, Responsibility, Smiling

Let’s Reconnect Each Other To The Network And Thrive!

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what we project we perceive

“What makes this world a beautiful place? Our thoughts, when right thinking, the world is delightful. When we manage our thoughts and think the very best of ourselves, others and circumstances the world is wonderful. We paint this world as we want it to be by our thoughts and attitudes. If it isn’t what you want then you have to change some things.

Our beliefs determine what we see and what we find. Our experience is shaped first within and then realized without. When we think the best of everything we have the best of everything. When we hold others in our heart and wish them love, peace, blessings, abundance, and when we support through kindness this world is amazing.

Go First: Bless, Heal And Prosper

We can give first even without others knowing we are giving. We can care and make a difference! It begins with out thinking but must become our speech and our actions. Only think, say and do those things that help bless, heal and prosper another person and yourself. Live well by thinking, speaking and doing kindness.

There are people who suffer but somehow manage to find the bright spot in the darkness. They live in the light while facing incredible odds and still find it within themselves to love, care for and encourage others. In spite of great personal difficulty they act and help to encourage and inspire others. We all can do more of this.

What makes this world a beautiful place? People do! Without our awareness this place just is. It is a rock hurtling through space at high speed. People give it color, texture, love and life. People do care and do help and do inspire and this is wonderful!

People rallly and support and nurture each other. In pleasant times and in trying times people reach out and are there for one another.

Love One Another

It is worth it to think the best of all people and to hold everyone in the highest esteem. To love and accept each other as Jesus encouraged us to. I am not favoring Jesus here, many have spoken about this need, but his message was simple. ‘Love one another as I have loved you.”

His examples from the scripture are pretty clear. He gave, he healed, he fed, he nourish, he inspired others.

Those he chastized seemed to be greedy know it alls who had no remorse. According to his story he gave his life for them too. He forgave his captors and killers. If he could do this, how can we not do a little something for one another when in need.

He stated that what you do for the least or the most lowly of all people you do for and to him. That is pretty straightforward. We ought to help each other more. We ought not judge we ought just help without prejudice. We should be open and accepting.

There are plenty of times in each day when a smile, a kind word, a note, a message, a small act of caring may be all that is needed to uplift another person. We can help ease their burden just by being pleasant and nice. Opportunities for kindness abound. Hold a door open for someone. Make pleasant eye contact. Chat with a stranger,

Of course, we should do this with family, friends and co-workers. Frankly, we should do it with and for everyone!

Smile More, Be Kind, Uplift, Be Friendly In Thought, Word, Deed

Recognize and validate the people you pass by everyday without giving a thought to. The person who annoys you;  the person begging at the corner; the disenfranchized citizens, the homeless, the needy, the hospitalized. Acknowledge them as you go about your day! Notice and greet them.

We can care. Recognize them. Smile, say hello. Wish them well. Act like they do more than just exist. They are people after all. They may be cut off from family, friends and society. They may need hopsitalization, or a meal or a bed.

They are human and they do have needs. Some just don’t have the money or station in life you and others do. So what!? Treat all people with care and kindness!

If you can’t do anything YOU can always wish them well. You can think highly of them and for them. You can say a little prayer or shower that  person with positive thoughts, feelings of peace, love, joy and positve warm loving energy. Attitude is everything too!

The World Is Filled With People Posing As Strangers

Take moments throughout the day to validate the people who walk the earth around you. They get on elevators with you, walk the streets, pass you by in hallways, the world is filled with people posing as strangers.

We are one species, one family seemingly separated. We have differences and that makes us richer by far than if we were all the same.  Yet, there is THAT aspect of us that is all the same.

We are human! We want and need to be noticed and loved. We need to feel that others know we are here and that we can be heard. We all want to make some form of positive impact and be valuable to another. We want to leave a mark on the world.

There Is Nothing More Sad Than A Lonely Person In The Crowd

That should never be the case. We are all in it together. We are one great human network. Networking shouldn’t only be to get ourselves gain but to get others the help they need.

Some people have fallen out of ‘everyday’ life network and can use some help getting re-connected. Help others connect to resources, theirs and those availble to them. Help each other bless, heal and prosper!

We are ONE organism with different cells. In a healthy body these different cells work together and support each other so the organism can thrive. They are different, they have different functions but the same goal IS to keep the organism alive.

We should do no less when it comes to people. For the species to survive we need to co-operate more. Recognize and validate. Help and heal! We need to listen, actually understand and take actions. We need to manage our thoughts, focus our attention on the positive, and speak and act positively.

What makes the world a beautiful place? When people are there for each other. When they reach out and uplift. There are so many kind, generous wonderful people in the world. Let’s focus on that.

Celebrate what is good! Recognize it! Celerbate it! Appreicate it! Validate it! Let’s make it a point to create more of it. We can if we believe we can! We will! Let’s begin right now!” Rex Sikes

Spend a moment smiling with someone new today!

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Acceptance, Affirmations, Attitude, Beliefs, Blessings, Emotions, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Happiness, Joy, Overcoming Difficulty, Persistence, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Self Talk

How To Get Through Rough, Tough Times

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“What helps get us through difficult times? What are we to do when things don’t go the way we hope? What do we do when it downright sucks and circumstnaces turn for the worse? Is there anything at all that can make it better or easier?

I think the answer to my last question is yes and no. I think there is something that can help us through any difficulty at any time but whether or not we rely on it or are capable of accessing it makes the difference. I think my answer will unfold here as one element or maybe more.

Attitude Makes A Difference

I believe attitude makes a major difference. I believe that sets a framework for how we encounter and navigate difficult times. It is easy to say, of course, and I do not mean to be flippant about this for people who experience difficult times, loss of loved ones, or any problem or issue that is of concern.

Attitude, however, seems to be the ability to paint with a broad brush all things as potentially good or potentially not so good. So what is attitude? It seems to be a larger all encompassing result of our beliefs. It may have to do with our faith. It certainly seems to have  much to do with our focus and what we say to ourselves.

For longer than this blog has been around, for many years, I have been stating and sharing on the power of focus. I did not invent the notion but have co-opted it for my life and have worked to make it work for me. I have managed to instill in me an ability that works much better now than it has at times in the past by dedicating myself to make it a habit.

I speak from my experience and from decades of working with others. I share the experience of others who have led me too. The principle that we become and we get what we focus on has had such great impact on me that I have felt compelled to share and discuss it for a very long time.

Where We Put Our Attention, How We Do It, For How Long We Do It, Makes A Difference

Perhaps, it IS the very difference!

When things become less than glorious or when we discover ourselves off track we need to return our thoughts back to the positive. To return to ‘can do’ thinking. We need to discover a way to feel even just a little better. The turning back to center or turning back to the positive IS the ability to cultivate that makes the difference.

Please go back and read through this blog many times. I have shared prodeures and methods in every article on how to make positive changes for yourself and direct your attention. Put these to work and you will begin notice the marvelous changes you can make for yourself!

We practice returning to center in all cases, in all types of circumstances and all types of weather. We practice it when times are good and we don’t need it and when times are less than glorious. We practice it so that when it does storm we get what we have practiced.

Build A Skill. Lay A Strong Foundation For Positive Change

I have been discussing laying a foundation, a solid one, that holds everything together when the winds get rough. When the storms come the house still stands. The foundation you build is as strong as the materials you use to build it and how well you put it together. I think this is true too of our attitude and positive capabilities.

I think faith plays a part. I don’t mean religous faith or faith outside of oneself, although that can too. I mean our belief in ourself and our abilities. I mean the expectatons we hold in mind when we practice our focus. Do we expect to succeed or not? Do we expect it to take a long or short time? Do we really believe or do we doubt instead?

The story is told of the person who says,’I am told I can move mountains if I have the faith of a mustard seed.’ So she prays for the mountain to move and when she opens her eyes and sees it still there she exclaims, ‘I knew it wouldn’t work.’

Faith Means Knowing It Will Work And Trusting For As Long As Necessary Without Wavering Until It Does Work

I think hard times can knock the wind out of anyone. I think it is okay when one takes a blow that one takes time to recover from it. I don’t believe anyone is under ANY obligation to anyone or anything to be other than who and what they actually are at any moment.

We are human which includes the ability to feel a  range of emotions and react to what happens. All of the possibilities are human possibilities.

To be able to get up after having been knocked down is the goal. We should get up and not live the rest of life from the floor. How long that takes for anyone is how long it takes for anyone. I believe we should not criticize ourselves for how we respond when we get knocked down. Nor should we criticize others.

We should allow and accept and understand it may take some time for a person to regroup.

If one has been practicing returning their focus to center that person may or may not respond as one might expect. Anything  is possible. The ability to shift focus and to feel better by shifting that focus bit by bit is an incredible thing to have developed into a habit. It is worthwhile and does help get one through the toughest storms and times of life.

Positive Focus Is A Skill That Can Be Developed

I recommend that people practice it daily as often as possible to acquire the skill. Anyone can learn it. How quickly depends on the amount of time one spends practicing. Just as any other skill is developed this skill is developed.

If you have gotten good at anything; a sport, music, acting, a hobby or craft, art, oration, cooking, sewing, working a computer program, ANYTHING, you can get good at running your brain purposefully.

You can excel at developing a positive attitude and making for yourself an incredible life. You can find an inner strngth and ability you didn’t realize was possible prior to developing powerful habits. You can discover life is awesome no matter what comes your way by chosing what to give your attention to.

Do Not Deny Anything.

You don’t try to fool yourself. If there are problems there are problems. Your choice to focus on solutions and what works, or what is good in your life that you can celebrate, in spite of the problems is not denial. You recognize what is there and you chose where to put your attention.

You don’t want to deny or deceive yourself ever but you can celebrate in the midst of sadness and even devastation.

There are countless examples of happy people who have nothing. There are countless examples of people who have lost everything and everyone and yet they remain positive and hopeful. Of course, these people are not the ones you see on the news. These are people the news doesn’t air. They go about their lives when times are easy or times are hard.

I am not ever attempting to tell people how they must be. I am simply pointing out possibilities that exist that we may not think exist for us. There are possibilites that we don’t even know about yet. There is a way to live that makes life wonderful even during the tough times.

It isn’t about pulling ourselves up by one’s own bootstraps although I don’t have a problem with this when it is appropriate. Sometimes we need to be tougher on ourselves to get things going.

Life is not one static thing. Life is change and upheveals. In order to be alive you have to take the good and the bad. Calamity happens, evolutions happen. Coal is converted to diamonds under great pressure, heat and stress. Anything and everything is possible. We need to discover how we can appreciate it, celebrate it or naviagate it. I think these are some opportunities life offers us.

You Can Feel Blessed Beyond Belief

What you chose to focus on will determine how you feel. It will determine how deeply you feel it and for how long. This is the great lesson: whatever it is, whatever it will be is determined by each of us. It is determined by our attention and our thoughts about what is going on. Our thoughts determine our current feeling state and our reality.

Our thoughts are either positive, nuturing, supportive, uplifting, OR they are not. We are either celebrating and are grateful or we are not. We are either moving forward or we are not. We either have a large positive energy ball or we have a large negative energy ball.

Without judging anyone that is just the way it is. The question each of us face is: what do we want to be able to do more of? What do we want to include in our life?

If we don’t like what we are getting then we must make some changes to get something else. That is just how it is. I don’t mean to preach I mean to share. Life can be incredible no matter what is going on. It is up to each of us to discover that for ourselves.

Sometimes we have to find the thinnest of positive threads and hang on to it in order for us to make it better. Whatever you and I chose is what we do. Again, we shouldn’t judge ourselves or others. We allow, accept and understand. We support and nuture. We encourage positively.

Focus On What You Can Celebrate And Are Grateful For

The goal of course in life is to feel the best we can, to  enjoy life the absolute most, and to be, do and have anything we want. We are creators and we make our lives whatever we want them to be regardless of the outer influences. The one thing we can control is out thoughts and our attitude. If it is important to you, you will.

Live a blessed, wonderful, marvelous life. You deserve it! We all do. I think it is up to each of us to live the best we are able and to help others live the best they are able to as well. We are all in it together and we can make our life and world a beautiful garden to enjoy. It can be whatever we decide it will be. Celebrate and enjoy!” Rex Sikes

Focus your day on fun!

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