Category Archives: Gratitude

Acceptance, Affirmations, Celebration, Creating The Future, Focus, Goals, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Healthy Choices, Laughter, Persistence, Positive Thinking, Smiling, Visualization

How To Eliminate Stress, Get Your Goals, And Live Well In New Year

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horizons i-know-you-will-always-be-there-phil-koch

“Holidays and post holiday can be a time of joy and a time of stress. Preparations and wanting everything perfect can add pressures where you hope none would exist. The New Year brings pressure as people try to keep resolutions they have made.

To avoid stress and burn out let it all go. Decide to enjoy it for whatever it is. It doesn’t have to be perfect. What is perfect is you have the opportunity to gather with friends and family. Make relationships your priority, not events.

Make Your Relationships Your Priority – Enjoy The Love  

As for resolutions, make one main resolution you intend to keep. Focus on that one. If you make a list of everything you want to change it may be too much at one time. Begin with one you really want and you will commit to. That will reduce stress and more likely ensure your success.

One goal at a time. You can set multiple goals but take care of them one by one. Don’t try to do them all at once. It is easier and much more manageable this way. You are more likely to stay committed the easier you make it. You can combine a few into one. For example, you want to get healthier. Wrap a few changes into one change.

Decide on a reasonable gym or exercise schedule you can keep. Proceed slowly. Take a few days a just walk the track. Water walk in the pool for a week. Sauna or steam. Ease into it. Don’t rush in and pound the weights. Build up to it. It is better to spend 20 minute working out and build to an hour than staring big first and quitting.

The New Year Brings Opportunity To Begin New And Fresh

You can decide you want to eat healthier, too. Choose what you will eat over what you won’t eat. You can eliminate but take it easy. Commit to eating an extra serving of fruit and vegetables, or drinking an extra bottle or two of water. Go to bed a half hour earlier if you want more rest. Tiny changes add up!

Do this for a month or more. Success breeds success. If you take it bit by bit and ease into it gently you gather up wins. The more you win and feel good the more likely you will continue. As you win at this and make it a habit you can begin on something else. Work that new goal the same way.

Learn to let go of stress. Take time for yourself. Even five minutes at a time, to close your eyes, let go, imagine pleasant moments, and breath deeply can work wonders. Take some deep breaths. Learn how to breath properly. Take up some mild form of meditation. Little snatched relaxing moments through the day can de-stress MUCH!

Drop By Drop The Tub Fills

Take small amounts of time. That IS easier than committing to hours. Drop by drop the tub fills. Inch by inch, step by step you get there. Perhaps, not as quick but you are more likely to get there slow and steady than if you rush, do too much and burn out. Slow and steady wins the race. Remember, the tortoise won!

Read more. Reduce TV and computer time. Spend less social media and news time. Go for walks. Drink more water. Rest more frequently. Take baths. Get some massages. When weather permits walk barefoot as much as possible. Enjoy the earth, contact it. Lie on the ground. Picnic. Get some fresh air. Get the right amount of sun.

Limit exposure to toxins in food, drink, and air. Stop putting bad chemicals on your body in soaps, shampoos, perfumes, and make-up. Get organic or chemical free. Try scent free detergents, etc. Go a bit more natural and organic. Limit cell phone use, texting, emails etc.

Go More Natural Its Okay To Be Human

You may not give up everything at once. In fact, don’t! I don’t want you to try it all at once. Simply, bit by bit claim your life, your time, your space and your health back. Let go of that which is not important. Again, meditation can be great for learning to let go. Spend time with friends, family, children, and pets. Have fun.

Make being alive and enjoying your relationships and each day a priority. Smile more, laugh more, sing and dance more. Look for the positive and think positive. Fill your mind with positive inspirational messages by reading and listening. Practice gratefulness each day by counting your blessings and feeling thankful!

Go to educational seminars and events. Enjoy church or temple or similar supportive social gatherings. Hang out with happy, optimistic people. Make new friends. Help others in need, those you know and strangers. Give more and become a good receiver, too. Little by little you can reduce stress and increase enjoyment.

Practice Singular Focus And Gratitude

Stay focused on one change at a time you will accomplish more. You will accomplish much more over time than you could ever imagine. Stop multi-tasking and use singular focus. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Have fun making changes and letting go. The effects are cumulative and you will be surprised and delighted. Enjoy and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Make your moments marvelous!

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Acceptance, Attitude, Blessings, Celebration, Decision, Emotions, Energy, Expectations, Flow, Gratitude, Happiness, Intentional Thinking, Living In The Moment, Mindset, Overcoming Difficulty, Patience, Positive Thinking, Rehearsal And Practice, Trust

It’s A New Year! Life Plans Change. So What? Do This

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Horizons longing-for-some-solitary-company-phil-koch

“What do you do when life throws your a curve ball? Something happens other than what you hoped for. Everything gets shaken up a bit. You have an opportunity to go with the changes or try to fight to keep the old way from slipping away. What do you do? You can react or respond to whatever is happening.

It was New Year’s Eve and I was to dinner party with dear friends. I purchased a nice bottle of wine and some expensive cheese to bring. I was looking forward to the evening with fine people. I prepared, got ready and went out the door. The evening cold, in the 20s. F

I got about 2 blocks from the house and noticed the car ride a bit strange. I stopped, got out, but since it was dark I couldn’t see behind the headlights. I felt the passenger side front tire and it was pretty pancaked. I had a flat. Luckily, there is a service station another couple blocks.

Sometimes Things Don’t Go As Planned

If I can get there without slicing up the tire, great. I can purchase a can of ‘fix a flat’ hope that works and fill the tire with air and be on my way. I get there and park near the air pump. I go in to borrow a tire gauge and get the can of tire foam. These station doesn’t sell anything like that, I am told. WOW! Well okay, I actually have one in my car.

BUT it is too cold to use. I try but nothing will come out. So I go for the air. Nope, the pins don’t line up and the air won’t go in. My hands at this point are becoming numb. A guy, in a truck, pulls up, asks me what’s wrong. Turns out he overheard me while in the station trying to secure a warm can of ‘fix a flat’. He throws a spot on.

He tries to put air in the tire too. Nope, it is not going in. My hands hurt. He says, ‘why not leave it here. It is open 24 hours. I’ll give you a lift home.’ I move the car, grab the wine, but drop it, it shatters. Grab the cheese and go in to return the gage. Turns out I can keep the car there but not where I parked it. So I move it.

Do You React Or Respond

I get in Kevin’s truck. I asked his name, told him mine, we shook hands. ‘Do you like cheese?’ I asked the odd ball question. ‘Here is some nice cheese’. And I put it on his console. He drove me home. I said thanks and Happy New Year. Entered the house. Called my daughter, wished her a nice evening and hunkered down.

New Years Day, I have a date with a tow truck. Hopefully, I can get the tire fixed or replaced. I could have called a tow truck, put on spare and traveled on, but really didn’t want to spend time waiting in a gas station. I could have. Home was more comfortable. I called my friends, told my host the news, apologized, and enjoyed some time alone.

What IS is. What to do about it? I was pleased none of this ruffled my feathers. Years back, I would not have been so even about it. I would have reacted poorly. Now, this time, it was different. More how I would hope it to be. Still, I did nothing special other than accept what was going on. I simply responded to what was happening.

Do You Like Cheese

I was quickly able to realize this is what IS. There is no reason to fight it or be dismayed. No reason to curse or swear or get upset because things went differently than anticipated. Maybe something good will come of this I can’t yet see. Who knows? Maybe maybe not.

My practice of surrender on the roadway seems to be paying off. You can find it within this blog in other posts of mine. I have mentioned it before.  BUT in a nutshell here it is:

I have a theory that the best modern day opportunity to learn surrender and ‘going with the flow’ is in traffic. If anything presses our buttons it is getting stuck, a’hole drivers going to fast or riding our ass. Stupid slow drivers who can’t move fast enough or turn and get out of our way. Yup, traffic is a great place to let it all go.

Some may be tempted to think, ‘well that NYE thingee really is all that big of deal’ and no it wasn’t. Rehearse and practice acceptance with little things, and you can inch your way up to bigger things. Practice letting go and accepting what is in traffic, and in everyday life.  Ultimately you build a habit of learning to respond.

Life Is Ultimately What You Make It

Fewer things will get us. We freak out less. We increase our batting average but we may never be perfect. OR maybe we will, who knows. It is pretty much going to be up to what we believe it will be like. Our expectations shape our reality. Life seems to be about learning and evolving. We learn to evolve to let go and enjoy more!

So, I watched some TV, read a little. I was going to open a bottle of wine and pour a glass but I didn’t. Soon, I fell asleep, just nodded off. New Year’s Eve came and went. I must have needed the rest. I woke at 2:39 am and realized I had yet to write my blog. Well, this is it. Happy New Year Everyone!!!

If you can’t change it don’t fight it. Accept it. There is something else available for you when you allow for it. I had a pleasant, uneventful evening at home. The year changed over and now wonderful new opportunities exist. They always exist! Opportunity is there when you need it. As are good samaritan’s, frequently. Thanks Kevin!” Rex Sikes

It is a new day! Celebrate!

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Affirmations, Blessings, Celebration, Curiosity, Deliberate Creators, Emotions, Focus, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Intentional Thinking, Overcoming Difficulty, Persistence, Positive Thinking, Relaxation, Responsibility, Self Talk, Smiling

Sometimes It Is Better To Inch Your Way Along

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horizons by-the-light-of-a-new-day-phil-koch

“Everyone needs to rest. It can’t be all work and no play. You want to make sure you have fun too while you pursue your goals. You want to enjoy what you are doing or you won’t do it for very long. You need rest too. You need to replenish. Chill and relax. Nurture yourself! Take good care of yourself.

Sometime, people effort too much. You see it every new year. People make all sorts of resolutions. They rush to the gyms. They buy equipment. Then they over do until they eventually quit. Better to do less and continue than try to do too much and quit early.

Have Fun – Get Rest- Nourish Yourself – Enjoy Everything

Still, every year lots of people will abandon their goals because making changes takes too much time or effort. These people often don’t figure out the easy way to make new changes fit into their already busy lives. Don’t fall into this trap.

Ease your way along. Instead of going for the overhaul go for the upgrade. To inch your way to you destination is better than to go fast right away and run out of gas. You eat an elephant bite by bite. Drop by drop fills the tub. Be consistent and persistent and you will get there. Allow yourself to enjoy it all as you journey along.

Small Steps Consistently Taken Will Get You There

The same principle applies whenever you discover yourself feeling down and out or thinking less than glorious thoughts. Learn to switch from the less than glorious to the glorious whenever you notice you aren’t feeling so good. This is when you become aware that something is off.

Realize and remember the less than glorious feelings ARE the signal that something is off. The way you correct it IS to switch from thinking negative to thinking more positive thoughts. The less than glorious feelings are the alert signal to get YOUR OWN attention.

Use Your Body’s Alert Signal System To Make Positive Changes

When your thinking isn’t productive your body responds with less than good feelings. Once you notice this  it is THE time to begin the change. It is up to you to do whatever positive things you need to to feel better.

Work your way up the ladder of good feelings and thinking. Inch yourself into feeling better bit by bit. You may not be able to leap from feeling down to feeling bliss. So do little things that make you feel better bit by bit. Walk, read, rest, get a massage, talk with a friend. These will help you change your thoughts and feelings!

Better To Do A Little Something Than A Lot Of Nothing

Spend time with family, kids, help someone else, enjoy a pet. Smile more. Affirm. Ask yourself positive questions. Pay attention to what is good, what feels good, what is new that you haven’t noticed before. Look for things to be grateful about. Meditate and let go.

Eventually, you will begin feel better. Steer your thinking to more positive thoughts and you will feel more positive. Continue these practices until you are once again able to hold your positive dreams in your mind and  feel wonderful.

Take Control – Captain Your Ship – Steer Yourself There

Inch your way up. Step by step until you feel wonderful. If you do this every time you feel down or negative you will create a new habit for feeling better. You will be create new neural pathways or mental routes. It is incredibly valuable for you you take charge and initiate the change when you notice something is off!

Ultimately, you learn that you are able to direct your thoughts and feelings productively. You discover that you are in charge more of the time. As you become aware of this, more and more life improves all along the way. You will have created some really useful positive habits and changes. So celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

There is plenty to enjoy today! Can you find it?

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Act As If, Affirmations, Attitude, Beliefs, Celebration, Creating The Future, Decision, Deliberate Creators, Emotions, Focus, Get Rich, Goals, Gratitude, Intentional Thinking, Law Of Attraction, Mindset, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Talk, Visualization

How To Have Everything You Want: What You Need To Stop And Start Doing

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“There are people who want to read and learn and get the right information to make a change. The read and study and do seminars and phone calls, but when it comes down to it they are info junkies. I know this because I am one of them.

I never thought I was but I am. I am addicted to info. I want the next book that will tell me what I need to know and do to evolve myself and my skills further. I want to read. So I buy lots of books. Videos and Cds too. I have so many! I’ve watched The Secret a dozen times.

I buy more books than I can ever read. So many are still waiting from decades ago while I buy the next new one I think I need. I used to buy record albums based on the cover art. YOU should never do that if you actually like music. I have spent a fortune on self help books.

I see it I want it. BUT I don’t actually want to do it. I want to learn about it not implement it. I want to read about healthy eating more than eating healthy. OH, I know I should eat a certain way because I have read everything about nutrition, and health, and diet, and… but geez those cupcakes look good.

Okay, I’ll eat a bag full of organic, gluten free, cookies or chips in a single sitting with a natural soda or juice. I want the body to be sculpted like Schwarzenegger’s only I don’t want to do what is required. I know I could visualize 68 seconds each day, or five minutes on my goals but I don’t. I don’t even really do affirmations.

If You Want Your Life To Change You Have To Change Things In Your Life

Most of my day is spent dealing with difficulties at work or at home. It seems there is an endless parade of distractions and issues that keep me occupied until I fall into bed at night exhausted. They call this the good life, right. It is trouble just making ends meet. Bills, bills, bills, you know. Death and taxes.

I could write in my manifestation journal everyday but instead I read about writing in the journal and about all the people who have made things happen. Then I sit and wonder why things aren’t happening quick enough. This LOA stuff just doesn’t work. I blame everyone and everyone else around me for my difficulties.

Tough making thing happen. I always believed that. Mom was right when she said ‘not everyone can be rich.’ I always thought some people were lucky but I never was. WOW, can you believe some of these silver spooners who have everything. Lucky bastards for sure!

I don’t know why things suck so much and nothing really ever works out for me how I hoped. It really bothers me to have lived this long and got so little… there is a webinar I plan to do this week that is supposed to get me all my dreams and show me how to turn on my magic attractor button. Can’t wait.

What You Say Is What You Get

Does this sound familiar? Do you do any of this? If so stop it! Stop it right now and take control of your thinking and your life. You dreams could be right around the corner. They might be here right now but you push them off by not doing what you can be doing now to make them happen.

Now is the time! Right here is the place! You begin from wherever you are with whatever you do or do not have. You no longer wait, you stop procrastinating, you stop seeking another ‘key to the future’ and you work right now with what you have.

See your goals as already having happened. Affirm the same. Describe them as completed and you are living your dreams. Describe the feelings! Feel the wonderful feelings as you do. Yes, write it in a journal a bit each day. Celebrate and be grateful.

What You See Is What You Get

Visualize for a few moments each day. Affirm while driving! USE your day to DO THE WORK and you will THINK and Grow Richer! Or spend the rest of your life complaining and seeking. The choice is yours. Monitor your feelings, control your thoughts and self-talk. Speak only to bless, heal and prosper. Spend your time creating!

Decide, right now, in this instant, how you want the rest of your life to be! To do nothing is a decision. Stop tolerating and start living your dreams. You can be, do and have anything you want BUT there are some things YOU MUST ACTUALLY DO. If you want your life to change YOU MUST change some things in your life! Don’t wait! Go for it Now! ” Rex Sikes

Make today your day!

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Attitude, Beliefs, Celebration, Decision, Emotions, Expectations, Focus, Forgiveness, Getting Over The Past, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Happiness, Intentional Thinking, Mindset, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Success

What Holds You Back? What You Can Do About It

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Horizons staying-within-the-lines-phil-koch

“‘I appreciate the idea of staying positive. But I really struggle with the blind spot here. Children around the world are suffering and dying. They are not responsible for their situation.

This kind of “teaching” suggests there is some way those innocent children could have prevented the awful scenario we see played out in front of us. It’s not enough to turn the telly off and act like everything is ok. It’s not.

This teaching is about attaching to an idea and/or outcome, and that is the birthplace of suffering. Of course, in general terms, there is merit in being positive. Be happy.’ From Hugh

“Today, my blog post is my reply to this comment made yesterday. I included the comment above.  Of course, you can read it at the post page from yesterday too, along with others. Below is my answer, my opinion. My response.

Excellent points and questions. I am glad you raised them. Napoleon Hill stated he faced the very same concerns, deeply, when his son was born without ears or internal hearing apparatus.

No, no one is saying innocents are responsible for their condition. Life is what life is. In fact, until 7, 8,9 or 10, one could argue, children are mostly just programmed by adults, peers, and situations they grow up around and in.

What this teaching stresses is, if at some point, one is lucky enough to be exposed to it, one can learn to control their own thinking. A person can then work to overcome life circumstances and the conditioning they were brought up in.

Whether they do or not is up to them and no judgement should be made.

Some will yell that the underprivileged feel entitled and are lazy. That is not the case at all. Most people want to better themselves. And if there are some who do not that is their choice.

There are people at both ends of the wealth spectrum that benefit from entitlements. There are some wealthy who are lazy. No one is casting dispersion here, or at least I am not. Nor do I think the teaching does.

It could be said, if one wants to learn how to fish, this teaching will teach them. If some prefer to be fed, I have no problem with that. That is what charity and philanthropy and generosity and good will are all about.

Yes, there is suffering in the world. How one handles the suffering is an individual thing AND largely based on the life experiences and conditioning the person has had. I am no judge.

SO I cannot hold people accountable for their conditioning or their experiences or lack of them. If there is a creator, or divine intelligence, or whom or whatever, that is their domain not mine.

I can only share what I know. I know this. You can go through an experience thinking and feeling negative or thinking and feeling positive. One seems to work better than the other.

Positive thinking does not guarantee success, but makes it more likely than negative thinking. So for me, I choose to be positive. My life and world work better that way.

As for turning off television or turning a blind eye to troubles around the world I don’t think that is realistic. I don’t think being overly fixated on it serves anyone either.

With 24/7 news and bombardment in all media of negative messages AND really mostly ONLY negative messages, because that is what news is,

I say be enlightened and informed to local and world events. JUST don’t get caught up in the negativity.

Negativity is great for knowing what you don’t want or what you want to avoid or exclude. It informs you what you may want to leave behind.

Positivity tells you or informs you what you want to move toward, where you are going or headed, what you want to include or have more of.

Both are necessary. But we need one more than the other. IF you are being chased by a bear in the woods, let’s call this negative, you want to flee the bear, avoid it, leave it behind, not get eaten, and run to a safe place where you are safe and without fear or worry.

You must run with everything you have.

You can’t do that if you keep your eyes on the bear. You have to keep your focus on where you are running to, in front of you. You KNOW the bear is there but your focus is on safety.

The bear is a huge motivator to get there quickly.

In the same way, negativity informs us what we don’t want and can motivate us to get what we do want and more quickly if we use it.

Negative thoughts and feelings are part of life. Positive feelings are part of life too.

Where you spend most of your time determines the quality of your life. Two people born in poverty one exclaims, ‘that is it! I refuse to be poor ever again!’ and works to become rich.

The other says, ‘Wow cool, the rich life is for me! I want all that!’ and works to become rich.

Both are possible. My thought is spend most of your time being positive. It feels better, makes things easier and is more enjoyable.

To the extent you want to, evolve yourself, take control of your thinking and feeling, so you enjoy life more fully.

Help others, help make the world a better place. If you see a wrong, attempt to right it. Delight in and celebrate everything.

If there is a problem, examine it and then turn your attention toward a solution. We rarely accomplish anything by fighting hate with hate, violence with violence, anger with anger, racism with racism, poverty with poverty.

We need to focus on what we want to bring about and work to bring it about. We do that by maintaining our focus on what we want, what we want to include, what we want more of.

We continue to think positive and feel good because life is more enjoyable that way.

Still, it rains on the rich and the poor. Calamity and disaster and heartbreak visit both. How those are responded to and handled is up to the individual and no one, in my opinion, should fault any other human for how they handle difficulty.

Just always remember, night gives way to day, cold becomes warm, waves that have gone out return. This too shall pass. Life is cyclic.

In my world view, evolve yourself to be the best person you can be. Allow other to be who they are. Love lots and forgive much. Learn from adversity and less than desirable circumstances.

Our beliefs either support us and free us up to be, do and have anything we want or they constrain or limit us in some way. We need to learn to recognize when our own mindset is preventing us and change it if we so chose. We can if we believe we can.

If you have goals and dreams go after them, don’t wait. It is not likely others will get them and give them to you. You have to work for it yourself.

Learn to control your thoughts and feelings so you think the best and feel the best 80 or 90% of your time. Whether you have one life or multiple lives, right now is all you have right now!

Celebrate, delight and enjoy it for no reason other than – why not?

It is your life choose what you want to it to be and make it such. Have fun all along the way. Learn to not take things too seriously, relax, let go, play.

Suffering is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Both revolve around outcomes. OR neither have anything to do with circumstances.

Some people in the worst of circumstances are delightfully fulfilled and happy. Others have everything, it seems, yet suffer. Finding out how to best live our life is up to each of us.

My hope is that I have addressed the points and questions. I hope that you, I and others can learn to be grateful and celebrate more of what is available to us while we are here. Let us delight and enjoy it all!

Meanwhile, the best wishes, always in everything!” Rex Sikes

Today is your day!

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Attitude, Beliefs, Celebration, Creating The Future, Definite Chief Purpose, Directed Questions™, Focus, Goals, Gratitude, Intentional Thinking, Mindset, Positive Thinking

Do You Know Why The Heck You Are Even Here? You’d Better!

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horizons a-bright-bright-sunshiny-day-phil-koch

“It isn’t enough to set goals. Goals are only pieces of the pie or of the puzzle, if you prefer. Goals are the steps you take on the way to your destiny. Goals are the rungs of the ladders that you pick up on your way to the top. There is something much more important than the goals you set and get.

Your purpose! Why are you here? For what were you born?  This is the larger and much more important piece to focus on. You are born into this world with a definite chief objective; to discover the reason you live, your destiny, why you are? Napoleon Hill called it your Definite Chief Purpose or your Definite Chief Aim.

Why are you? This is what you must uncover, discover and decide on. Your purpose is the umbrella that covers everything else. You were born into an abundant universe with more than enough of everything for everyone to participate in. Most don’t sadly, but that doesn’t change the fact that the universe has plenty for all.

You Are The Master Of Your Fate

You were born to delight and participate and partake of all good things. To celebrate and enjoy; people and relationships, events, circumstances, and all good things, whether you realize this or not; whether you believe it or not. – BUT –  If you don’t realize it, and if you don’t believe it, you won’t have it.

You must claim it for yourself. It is there, you are right smack in the middle of it, but if you are blind to see it and take advantage of it, no one else can help you. You must discover this on your own. Another aspect of your Definite Chief Purpose is why you live, what you want to do. This determines how your present and future unfold.

The larger your purpose the easier to fulfill in many ways. What are you totally passionate about? What do you love and enjoy? What kind of work makes you feel good when you do it; so good, you would pay people to do it? What work is play for you?

You Are The Captain Of Your Soul

Some people enjoy giving and helping others. Some contribute to the world in other ways. What is your way? Once you discover your ultimate purpose you set goals which move you closer to your purpose. You live your purpose, you accomplish your goals and that is the difference.

Hill states, any thing you want can be yours in abundance once you clarify and decide on your Definite Chief Purpose. Once you feel the passion and desire and enthusiasm for living your purpose everything else can begin to fall into place. Search your soul. Search your heart and your mind?

We have been discussing Barnes and his burning desire to become a partner of Thomas Edison. We shall continue. Between now and then consider this: If you already had everything you want, if you had all the money in the world, you are rich beyond belief in every way, what would you do? How would you spend your time? How would you contribute to the world?

Conceive It, Believe It And You Can Achieve It

In seeking answers to these questions you can begin to clarify and discover what trips your trigger. What are you, or would be, completely passionate about? No one in the world has ever made it completely alone. The ‘self made’ man or woman relies heavily on the help of others all along the way. How would you give back?

Remember, purpose is what you are after. This differs from goals,which can help you fulfill your purpose. Goals either move you closer or further away from fulfilling your purpose. We will come back to this point later.

Goals  may include making a certain amount of money, working in a particular field, developing certain relationships, living in a chosen location, having certain things, etc. These either align with your overall Definite Chief Purpose or they could conflict. This is why it is important to know what you are going for in the first place.

The Starting Point Of All Achievement – Definite Chief Purpose

What is the big picture? THEN what are the steps?  Are they congruent with what you want? Does each step bring you closer to fulfilling your purpose or take you further away?  These are important considerations, but first, if you haven’t already, clarify and decide on your purpose. Then you can learn how everything else fits.

Your purpose is there within you but it may not be obvious, at first. You don’t have to get it instantly. Mull it over, entertain it. Spend time with this important consideration. Search yourself. Ask yourself, reflect, consider, concentrate, be serious, yet playful and in time you will come to know it.

Be open to flashes of insight or answers that come from within. Feel grateful, celebrate everything! Remain positive. A positive mindset, a strong positive attitude is crucial for success. Stay open, available and optimistic and the answers will come. You will answer yourself. Once you do that IS the beginning of making your dreams come true.” Rex Sikes

How will you make today a special one?

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If You Read Nothing Else Read This: What To Do When Troubled

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“People say, ‘you are always so positive are you ever troubled?’ There are good days and not so good. That’s just how it is, right? Times can be troublesome? Sometimes you are riding high and you get knocked down very far and hard. What to do?

There are days when I don’t feel thrilled. There are days that are difficult. There are times when everything seems oppositional. At times, events and circumstances turn for the worse.

There are moments when I wonder what I am doing. Sometimes, I feel a sucker and want to throw in the towel. Sometimes, I don’t want to feel positive or feel good. Sometimes, I feel blah or resentful. I have rough days and good days. Some very difficult.

What I have learned from my practice is that ultimately I am in charge and I am in control. What used to swamp my boat no longer does. When disappointments come the lows are not nearly as low as they have been in the past. I have learned and benefit from my practice.

You Have To Learn That You Control Your Thoughts

Sometimes, deals don’t manifest. Sometimes, someone else gets the role. I get angry at my family for no apparent reason. Yes, things happen. I lose out on an opportunity or a job. Money may be tight. Kids don’t do what I ask. I feel overwhelmed. I feel distant, or sad, or angry.

In the past few months I didn’t get a part I had hoped for. A few deals fell through. Some money issues presented. Someone, had stalled me for months on something that I needed to get handled. A lot goes on each and every day.

There are everyday life concerns, kid concerns, relationship concerns, friend concerns, business concerns.  You name it, we can get caught up. I have. I do. Life is whatever it is. It just is. We determine whether we react or respond to it.

Recently, a young friend of our family, took his life. It really ripped me up. I felt so sorry for he and his family. I am still shocked and saddened. Still, sad and angry at him for not giving it another day. What he did hurt, not only himself, but everyone who cared for him.

Thankfully, I fall back on my practice when I realize times are turning tough. Sometimes, I notice right away. Sometimes, it takes me awhile. It is a much shorter time now, than it was years ago that is for certain.

You Direct Your Mind By What You Put Your Energy Into

It means as soon as I realize I am feeling or thinking less than gloriously I begin to direct my mind back to the positive. I become aware that less than glorious feelings mean I must be thinking less than glorious thoughts. So I change my thoughts and my feelings.

I use questions. I discovered this for myself back in 1980. I direct my attention back towards what I know I want to focus on. I ask questions about how I want to feel. I steer my thoughts and feelings back gently in a productive way.

I have written about using questions a number of times in these blog pages. I encourage you to go back, find and read so you can too, if you would like to. I utilizeDirected Questions™ all the time.

Soon enough, sometimes, now, almost immediately, I begin to notice a shift toward  feeling better. When you think better you feel better! Questions work wonders because there is far less resistance to an innocent, well intentioned question.

What You Focus On Is What You Get

I remind myself that athletes and troops often don’t feel like it but continue to train or do whatever they must do to continue to move forward. I then do my best to follow through. Like it or not I continue to affirm and visualize and focus on what I want to make happen even when I don’t feel like it.

I have learned to push through it. Eventually, it gives way and I feel better. I remind myself when things don’t work out that obstacles and disappointments are they way I learn to direct my mind.

If everything were easy I would never have to learn how. I have learned to embrace tough times, more often than not, now. The kite rises against the wind. There are learnings and lessons in challenge.

There is great value to these times. I used to try to avoid or escape them. Now, more often, I say bring it! Give me your best shot because I will prevail! I will learn, benefit and prevail! All is good!

A boxer wants a challenging fight.There are rock finger climbers who hang hundreds of feet above rocks without safety harnesses because they want the challenge. I say bring it on!

When things don’t happen or I lose out on something I remind myself that I am a creator and attractor. Yes, I  wanted this OR something better.

If it is not this, then something better is on the way. I will ultimately manifest something much better. Sometimes, you have to clean out the closet to make room for the new stuff. I will create something better then!

Whatever Follows The Words I AM – IS – What You Are

Sometimes, we need to clear the way for better things. If I don’t get what I wanted I look for what better something is on the way. This isn’t some  fairy tale magic. This is keeping myself open and available and receptive to other good things and possibilities.

I recognize that I only see a fraction of life at any second. There is much more happening than I can ever be aware of. I surrender to the possibility that I don’t know everything. Ultimately everything works out for the best. It always has.

I always, no matter what, have landed on my feet. I have faced some tremendous challenges in life and have managed to get through them. So, even when things look bleak, I have a pretty good life. I remind myself to remember that. AND I do!

I practice gratitude and remember to count my blessings. I celebrate life and the ups and downs. I think, I am divine and am playing one heck of a game on myself.

Whatever Follows The Words I HAVE – IS – What You Have

I am a divine trickster seeing if I can ruffle the poor human and make him squirm or rise up to the occasion and overcome all difficulty. I begin to claim my power and my authority.

I realize like David facing Goliath that this is a day to claim victory and rush the giant, or my problems, to meet them head on, and to not whine, or blame. Yes, sometimes I vent to another.

Fairly quickly, I try to remember to only speak to bless, heal and prosper. I attempt to remember that what I say is what I get and to not further difficulties but talk solutions and speak positively. Loose lips sinks ships.

Life is whatever life is. Up and down. I am learning through it all not to try to run or escape tough times, low times or disappointments but to find the seeds of opportunity and advantage within them.

Everyday can be a day to celebrate. Just because circumstances suck it doesn’t mean I have to suck for the circumstances. I can be a champion in times of trouble.

Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude

I am learning that I do have all the resources at any moment to make any change. If I think I am defeated I am. If I think I am troubled I am. If I think I am poor I am. Whatever I think and declare myself to be is what I am. I make it so by my own words.  No one else does, but me.

HOWEVER, if I think I am victorious, even when it doesn’t yet appear that way, I AM. If I think I am free and living the good life, even when it may not seem like it, then I AM. If I think I am rich, even while paying bills, then I AM. I determine who I am, what I am, how I am.

I am the one in charge. I am the one who turns difficulties into opportunities by changing how I feel and what I focus on. I steer my mind toward the goodI want to focus on. I have learned that if I focus on troubles I only get more of them.

I have learned that if I want to get to my destination, though the waters may be severely troubled, I need to stay the course and be the captain of soul and the master of my fate. No one can or will do it for me even when I have support and love around me.

You Don’t Get Uphill Thinking Downhill Thoughts

If it is to be it is up to me. Yes, there are dark times but I have learned how to find the light. Anyone can. Little by little, inch by inch, step by step. I have learned to nudge myself along in a better, more positive direction. If I can’t leap into bliss I can inch my way into it.

I wrote of Barnes in my last blog and I will again in upcoming ones. When nothing seemed to be happening for a significant period of time, Hill states, Barnes intensified his desire to make his dream come true.

He did not lose faith. He did not give up. He did not quit and seek something else to do. He kept at it until, one day, five years later he was beginning to live the destiny he wanted. He was persistent.

We need to be persistent and consistent in our dedication to ourself in living the best life we can at any given moment. The difference between me now versus then, what I have learned and done that is successful, is that I eliminated some old detrimental habits and replaced them with more productive, positive ones. New habits!

We need to learn to laugh in the midst of adversity, troubles and tears. We need to find our inner joy, our bliss and celebrate all the wonderful things each second because our troubles are only a portion of all life offers. The more we do the more we can do!

What You Focus Expands

Yes, they look large and may seem to be all encompassing BUT actually they are not. They are small in comparison to everything else that is going on and that is available. There is so much more going on in any instant. You just need to look and  find the good.

If you look for it you will find it. Believe it is there and you will discover it. That is the job of the Reticular Activating System (RAS) remember, to find examples in the outer world that match your inner convictions and beliefs. Believing is seeing.

Believe all is good. Believe unexpected good is coming your way even though you can’t yet see it. Keep the faith. Believe that you always land on your feet.

My life is so incredible. I live a blessed life. Does it mean I have the best of everything. Nope, not yet, at least. It does mean I make the best of all I presently have. I make the best of the past and look forward to a marvelous future.

The present is glorious EVEN when it isn’t. Times may be tough but not for as long. New thought habits replaced the old. New wine skins for new wine. Everything becomes new! Most of the time I have learned to feel wonderful regardless of what is going on. THAT is what this practice is all about.

You Become What You Think About Most

I repeat, I have learned, through my practice that attitude determines your altitude and what you are capable of doing. Most importantly, I have learned, if it is to be IT IS UP TO ME!

I am responsible for how I live each moment. SO I make the most and the best of each moment. Once the moment is gone it is gone! Believe that something better is on the way and YOU will soon discover it. Decide to make the best of whatever life gives you!

Have faith! Keep the faith! Prevail! Be a champion over your difficulties. Take tiny steps if you must. Free yourself from the mental bindings that have held you. You can, you know. Think new thoughts, develop new habits and all of life changes.” Rex Sikes

Celebrate this day and everyday!

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How To Go Beyond The Limits Of Your Own Thinking?

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“How does this all this positivity work? Well you can, stay open to new possibilities; focus on what you can do and that which is productive and positive.  When you feel less than glorious, take it as a signal to, check your thinking and then change it. The goal is to feel good and be positive most of your time.

Most of your time is spent not being positive. While it may not be totally negative a huge portion of our time is spent in wasted thoughts and feelings. Petty annoyances and grievances, daily duties that drag us down instead of uplift us. The percentage of time we spend thinking of what we want, our purpose or dominant chief aim pales by comparison.

We need to tip the scales in favor of positive thinking. We need to feel good more of the time than simply okay or bad. When we feel good most of the time, when we are delighted and enjoying our energy is up, our creative abilities are up, we are resonating and vibrating high. We are attractive and attracting. All is well!

I repeat these much needed messages again and again.  We have to hear these messages multiple time, in different ways, before they begin to seep in. Each of us, including me, needs to be reminded of what we can do and what we are capable of, from time to time. We want to spend most of our day and each day wonderfully.

Right Awareness Is Awareness Without Tension

Sometime we feel down and out. I have. There are times I am not uber positive. I have thought, ‘yeah right, if only’. Then I felt uneasy. Soon I began to feel bad too. Then it hit me. I was getting a signal. There were no alarm bells, no flashing lights, no big signals,  just a nagging, ‘yes, but’. The negative was seeping in not storming in.

When I recognized that I was thinking and feeling less than glorious I realized I needed to change my thinking. Awareness is the moment we have when everything can change in an instant. In that second we make a decision. We either decide to continue as is or change something.

I began to think about things I am grateful for. What right now in this moment can I appreciate. I can even celebrate the nagging feeling that is the signal because eventually I figured out what was going on. Not everything is flashing lights and blowing horns. Some things are more subtle.

I began to question the negativity too. I thought, ‘even if this were true why would I choose to be unhappy?’  ‘If I can choose any feeling why not choose to feel happy right now in spite of what is going on?” I realized I don’t have to be happy about the circumstances to be happy. I don’t have to be happy about bad news to be happy. I can be happy in spite of these things.

Our Quality Of Life Depends On The Quality Of Our Questions

I began to think ‘sure why not’, and ‘ what if this were possible’ and as I  began to question my thinking I began to free myself from limitations. I freed up my thinking, changed the assumptions I was making, AND my feelings. It works. As I transformed some things all things began to loosen and transform.

If a person could think and feel positive and happy most of the time, or even all of the time, why would a person ever chose not to? Your beliefs will come up as you answer this one. Keep in mind your reasons are you past habits of thinking. They are not necessarily true or not true they are only reasons.

Why choose to think something would be too hard to ever do? Sure, you may want to be realistic, but anything is actually possible. Why would you ever choose to make something more difficult for yourself? I don’t know but I have done it. Once I began to realize this I stopped doing it as much and began to let it go.

Why ever choose to limit oneself? I mean, really, why? Your answers will be very revealing. Again, none of them are gospel which just act as they are because we have thought them for so long. This is the tough part realizing our beliefs aren’t all that important. The serve us in many different ways. How do they serve you?

If Your Want Your Life To Change You Must Change Some Things

If they aren’t serving you very well, if your life isn’t better, if you don’t think and feel better and are able to be, do and have more as a result of your beliefs then perhaps it is time to get some new ones. It is time to develop some new positive, powerful, productive beliefs that serve you well.

It occurred to me that sometimes my ongoing assessments I had been making, while moving through life, at first were skewed towards the negative, thereby contributing to my less than glorious feelings. Once I noticed this I was then free to choose what to do about it.

I began to examine these, and ask myself whether I really wanted to think that way. As I questioned my own thinking I began to get free. I experienced a major shift in how I felt and what I thought. I went from feeling as if something was not possible and unlikely to absolutely positive and within my control.

Sometimes our feelings are subtle. The signals aren’t like a nine point fire alarm going off. They are simple, perhaps nagging or annoying but they still contribute to a less than glorious stance overall. Once I asked myself, why I would ever choose to believe that, I began to lighten up and free up.

At Each Moment You Can Choose Misery Or Bliss

At any given moment we are either thinking positive or negative. We are either thinking I can or I can’t. Whenever you discover yourself thinking negative or I can’t is an opportunity to explore why not. Then explore, investigate and challenge the reasons you get back as replies to your questions.

Keep in mind we are conditioned to answer a why question with a because answer. We provide reasons and excuses. These ‘reasons’ are precisely what you want to challenge and counter. There are precisely what you want to change from less than glorious to positive and glorious thinking.

WHY would you ever choose to think that, feel that or be that? You get an answer ask the same question. Chase your thinking down the rabbit hole. What you will ultimately discover is very rarely, VERY RARELY, will you ever have a good reason to limit yourself in any way.

Ford said, ‘if you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right’. You will truly discover this as you explore going beyond anything that is a limitation for you. Keep this important point in mind.

It Is Always Up To You 

Whatever stops you, limits you, prevents you from being your true positive self, is only a thought. A mental packet of energy… thought over and over and over again. A thought habit otherwise known as a belief. An illusion. Never let a thought stop you from ultimate good.

Yes, let a thought stop you from harm of self or others. Examine your thoughts, go beyond them. Go beyond limitations and into freedom. Discover how incredible you are. Bask in that for awhile. Enjoy the richness of others and the world and recognize it as a marvelous, wonderful place to delight! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a great day!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Breaking News! Success Won’t Make You Happy But This Will!

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“Breaking news! Success won’t make you happy. Wait, there is more. Borne out by science and decades of research; Success won’t make you happy BUT happy can make you successful! Yes, again, I repeat, happiness leads to success. Happiness leads to success!

From ancient times until now it has been pointed out that happiness and positive thinking and optimistic thinking is healthy and leads to better health, wealth, and abilities. Happiness makes you better at what you do and makes what you do much easier. Sadly, most people, through the centuries, got it backwards.

Sadly, people believe the right job or success, the right partner or mate,  money or things would make them happy. They thought happiness came as a result of something else happening first.

Sad again. They only discovered that they delayed feeling good, if at all, and that even acquiring many things still left them feeling empty. It is because IT really is the other way around! It IS the other way!

It is time to straighten everyone out. The happier you are the healthier you tend to be. Happiness affects your health, your well-being, you ability to handle or process stress, your thinking and clarity and your productivity. The happier you are the more you can accomplish.

Happiness Is Its Own Reward And Has Multiple Benefits

Since the early 80’s I have been teaching workshops pointing out that by practicing happiness and positivity you could develop new neural pathways.You could develop wonderfully supportive habits, live more delightfully, successfully and happily, easily and nearly effortlessly.

You could open up your neurology to be capable of evolving yourself in positive ways. I suggested you could create positive habits which would positively serve you.

In my workshops we practice daily gratitude, asking positive directed questions, smiling more, laughing meditation, feeling good and accessing wonderful and powerful resource states, imaging a better future, scanning for positive and new moments each day and more. A lot more. But these were core rituals or practices.

We had rituals we did each class session and each day. I pointed out that making a habit requires a minimum of 21 days repeated practice or rehearsal. What people began as practice during my  10 or 14 day programs they were encourage to continue back home.

Habits Come From Rituals And Rituals Become Habits

Rituals are things we do everyday. For some people that includes hygiene, brushing teeth and washing. We eat, sleep, go to school or work. We may read the paper or get online. Have a cup of coffee. There are things we do regularly each and every day; sometimes multiple times throughout the day.

Spaced repetition builds habit. Correct spaced repetition builds reliable skill. Reading instructions doesn’t change you but implementing what the instructions tell you to do can change you. This is why I suggest doing these practices as often as possible each day.

I called it rehearsal, from my acting background, or the kind of conditioning athletes go through or practice professional sports teams undergo to build reliable skill sets for performance.

Create The Happiness Habit

I was harshly criticized in a number of books and publications as promoting pseudoscience and pie in the sky thinking. I was even accused (rightly) of utilizing the placebo effect.

How cool of me! Then again, they scoffed because I told people we could deliberately utilize the placebo effect. Some finally are catching on. Some Psychologists, as are scientists, catching up.

I and others pointed to things like ‘mirror neurons’ prior to their discovery. We knew through mediation, rapport studies, and other practice that many things were ‘contagious’. Smiling, rapport, happiness, peace, relaxation are infectious.

One person, neurologically, can affect another. Large groups practicing the meditation or laughter or peace have a dynamic, synergistic effect and affect others, even those not practicing. Hooray, some are finally catching on! Not nearly enough though.

Decades later research has verified what I knew back then, and far greater minds than mine have known for centuries. The better you feel the better you do. I repeat. The better you feel the better you do. Happiness leads to success and not the other way around.

Happiness is a choice! Practice feeling better a little bit each day. By practicing daily you eventually make it a reliable habit AND grow new neural pathways and connections thereby overall evolving yourself!!! Research Neuroplasticity and evolving your brain.

Here is the rub with science. IT is usually behind not ahead except for some cases. Scientific testing works this way to test a theory. Scientists make a claim, or stated hypotheses.

Happiness Is A Choice

Then they try to disprove the hypothesis. If it can’t be disproved it is accepted as the best theory you currently have for explaining what is going on. In research validation, they seek independent replication of results.

Science takes time to verify and establish new theories and validate. Not all science is equal, nor is it all good, nor is testing or reporting or publishing or disseminating the findings reliable or always upright.

BUT STILL much of science is what we hope it to be. Rigorous and trustworthy. OPEN and flexible. Because science is supposed to update theories, as better explanations become available, through testing.

Choose To Be Happy And You Will Be

There are many abstracts citing the research and conclusions. You can look them up. Look up topics such as happiness, optimism, placebo, overcoming depression naturally, mindfulness, meditation, relaxation, mirror neurons,  etc.

There are many, MANY, books written citing the research in health, healing, attitude, psychology, meditation, spirituality. One I want to refer you to (not only because it concludes and incorporates many of the practices that I and others have taught for many years but) because they really delved into researching the topic.

You can read Shawn Anchor’s findings and the research conclusions in The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work. He has since published other books. Available at amazon. Check out the research and the results.

Why Would You Ever Choose To Not Be Happy

If you aren’t going to read it then at least stay tuned to this blog. I will bring you the latest and greatest as well as the oldest and the tried and true.

HAPPINESS is something that you can have more of anytime. If you do certain things you are guaranteed to become happier. It can be as easy as a couple minutes spent daily.

While, it probably won’t occur overnight it will occur in time as you stick with it. One of the greatest life transforming things you can do, is to practice gratitude. Feel gratitude, live it daily.

In my workshops I had people create list of 25 things they were grateful for each night. Shawn has them do as few as three every day. Something so simple can be so profound.

We’ll discuss more. We have happiness, beliefs, and a number of topics currently in play here. So keep reading and re-reading. Most importantly, begin doing, if you haven’t already, and keep doing.

You can rewire your brain, feel better, be healthier, think more clearly and enjoy more success and prosperity as you do! SO Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

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What To Do After You Give Thanks!

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“Did you enjoy giving thanksgiving?  Were you able to get together with family and friends. That is a reason to celebrate and be glad.

If you took time to feel grateful for all the good things in your life, do it again. Do it today. Then do it again and again. Count your blessings. What do you do after you give thanks? Give thanks again!

Feel the gratitude. Celebrate those feelings. When you do you make room for there to be more in your life. Like attracts like. When you look for and find people, events and circumstances to appreciate you get back more.

Keep giving thanks! Keep feeling the thankfulness. Wonderful things will happen as you do. Appreciate the tough times for what you can learn by going through them. Every moment is a moment to be thankful for and an opportunity to feel grateful. Keep it up!

If it helps to make a list make one. List big and small things to feel thankful for. First thing in the morning and right before you go to bed are great times to put your thoughts on gratefulness. Never let the sun go down feeling bad, irritated or angry with yourself, another or circumstances. Feel good, feel great when going to sleep.

That is time when your subconscious mind processes, clears, renews for the next day. If you are filled with joy, love, peace and happiness; if you energy is on all good and wonderful moments you had during your day, you set yourself up for more in the next day. If angry or sad, you set yourself up for more of that same the following day too.

You get what you focus on. It does actually expand. Your subconscious mind gets the messages you give it by your images and what you say to yourself and others. The most powerful delivery vehicle for those messages are your feelings. SO when you are upset with people and circumstances your subconscious goes, ‘okay I get it. This is what you want more of.’ It then works to deliver more of the same.

If you want more good things you have to feel more good things more of the time so your unconscious delivers that instead of the crappy things. Do you get this? There is a reason to think positive and feel good most of the time. YOU actually do get back what you put out there. You become what you think about. That is why! Beyond this fact, it feels good to mostly feel good. Make your moments count. They either work for you or against you. Celebrate!

Enjoy all life offers. It is what is is. The serenity prayer includes, ‘…change the things I can, accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference’. What is IS! Celebrate and enjoy. If you can’t change it don’t fight it. What you resist persists. Know when to stop and appreciate. Perhaps, in doing that, it will change. I would bet it does. Trying to change things all the time can be the problem too. Accept, enjoy, celebrate and discover. Then celebrate some more!” Rex Sikes

What can you make more special this day!

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