Category Archives: Emotions

Do This When Frustrated, Angry or Feeling Bad!

worry takes away today's peace

“How can you tell if you are focused on what you don’t want or what you do want? It is actually easy. Your have a signaling system that you can use. It alerts you when you are on or off track. You only need to learn how to recognize it to use it. It requires is becoming aware.

Your Feelings Are Your Signal System

If you are frustrated it is a signal you are focused on what you do not want. Negative emotion is the signal you are focused on what you don’t want. When you are feeling good and have positive emotions it is a signal you are focused on what you want.

Negative emotion only means you are thinking about what you do not want. Whatever you are thinking about mostly is what you get more of. You create the conditions of your life experience. You manifest more of the same. What you think about you become.

If you are frustrated, angry, depressed, anxious, worried, fearful, blaming and accusing, whining and complaining you are spending time and energy in a less than glorious place. The feelings that cause you to blame or complain are the signal.

If you catch yourself criticizing and speaking poorly about self, others, events and situations that is a signal. A clue you are focused in less than productive ways on what you do not want.

Once you become aware you are feeling negative, feeling frustrated, and you don’t like feeling that way you can do two things. First, you can get more frustrated, and more angry, you can get more intensely negative to the point where you think and say and commit to yourself,  ‘never again!’ You can ramp it up and get to that ‘this is the last straw’ point. From this point you can make changes you need to.

That is one way of dealing with it. It can and does occur naturally for people. They just get to the point where they know they have to change. That intense emotion is fine as long as it serves to take them to a place where they stop focusing on the negative and begin focusing on the positive.

The negative feelings are the signal you are not focusing on what you want. However, if you don’t change your focus to what you do want you won’t have the relief or get the results you hope for. You must wake up, pay attention to the signal and change what you are doing.

You must switch your attention. THAT IS WHAT your feelings have been trying to get you to do. You feelings are trying to GET YOUR ATTENTION enough for you to notice so you can SWITCH!

Remember, if you always do what you always did you always get what you always got. It is an opportunity to be productively different.

Clarify What You Do Want

Use the powerful negative feelings to figure out what it is you do want. Stop focusing on the negative and start focusing on the positive. Commit to staying focused on the positive. Whenever you feel negative there is an adjustment you should make. That IS the signal you are off course.

You have an internal guidance system. You have an internal GPS. You have a system designed to be self correcting. The unwanted thoughts and feelings inform you that you are off course. Don’t fight them, celebrate when you recognize the signal and make the necessary changes. Less than glorious means time to change!

Some people have spent so many years ignoring or fighting and pushing down and repressing their feelings they have difficulty telling when they are feeling good or  less than glorious. Still, you can learn to pay attention and benefit from this internal guidance bit by bit, Awareness is your key! It may be more subtle but you can do it.

Commit to paying attention. Do a self inventory frequently though out the day by asking ‘how am I feeling’ . Take a moment to evaluate and be honest. It is useful  to color chart your feelings using crayon or markers to indicate the changes during the day.

Notice predominant colors and notice how frequently you actually fluctuate. This is a great learning tool Give it a shot and you may surprise yourself.

You can ask someone  to assist you by pointing out when you are acting in certain ways. Just don’t bite their head off when they help. The goal is to become aware when you are feeling less than glorious so you can change direction.

Second, Make Incremental Change

You change from bad to a little bit better. Step by step. The goal is to feel a bit better. Actually, the goal is to feel the best you can most of the time, but if you are intensely down or angry going from that place to joyous is too big a leap.

Going from angry to frustrated is a smaller step and a worthwhile one. You are learning to lessen the anger and move away from it.

People either get frustrated and then angry or they can get angry and cool off to frustrated. It is like a gate that can move in either direction. A swinging door. So when you are really mad the goal is to cool off and begin to think of what you do want.

If you are down you want to get to a bit better place. A place more okay and begin thinking about what you do want. If you are depressed you may want to get frustrated and angry. At least, from angry you can act.

Because it is intense you create more movement. From there you can more readily change. Regardless, one needs to get to a place where ‘enough is enough’ and then make positive productive change.

What you want makes you feel good when you think about it. If when think about what you want you feel bad you aren’ t thinking about what you do want. You probably are thinking about how you don’t have what you do want.

You won’t feel good if you compare where you are to where you want to be unless you are celebrating closing the gap. If as you inch your way forward you are delighted the entire time then it is fine.

Gratitude Helps Make Everything Better

If you celebrate everything you are on the right track and you will feel better more of the time. How can you feel down and out, frustrated, angry or bored when you are thankful and happy and delighted about everything? You can’t!

Find every little thing you can to enjoy, and appreciate. The more you find the better you will feel.

Once you make gratitude and celebration a daily habit you will be thinking and feeling good most of the time. You will be much closer to making your dreams come true as you live this way. Then your head and heart is clear to find more opportunity and advantages each day. You are better equipped to handle obstacles, and disappointment. You are far more resilient and resourceful!

When you live in gratitude and celebration everything is incredible and getting better at the same time. It is one of the wisest and most powerful choices you can make. Celebrate everything, even the tough stuff! Look for the silver lining and emphasize it. Never waste an opportunity to feel grand!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today!

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Dream Big: Don’t Let The Details Stop You!

famous_walt_disney_quotes_keep_moving_forward

“What do successful people have in common? What is their mind set and behaviors? Why do they succeed while others don’t? Is there a difference between them and the other people?

Can you do what they do to get the results they have? Yes absolutely!

It is important to know what you want and to dream big.

Know your definite chief purpose and develop a burning desire or passion for it’s fulfillment.

Dream big and keep the dream before you in your minds’s eye. Think about it day and night. What consumes you controls you.

Don’t fret about the details.

Do not get caught up in the how. Do not let not knowing how you might accomplish it stop you from going after it. Go after it.

Go as far as you can go and when you get there you will see farther. Enjoy your dream. Make it fun and delightful to make it happen.

What you think about you  become.

What you focus on you get. What you think about you bring about. So imagine your big dream as already completed.

Imagine what it is like to be there already. How does it feel to have made it happen? Enjoy these feelings! Let these feelings move you forward.

If life were perfect how would it feel?

How would it feel to be, do and have everything you want? Don’t just answer, ‘it’d feel great!’ FEEL IT!

Accentuate and savor the feelings. Live these feelings again and again each day. Let them drive you. This is what you want after all. You want to feel more of this. THIS, these feeling is what it is about.

Never get hung up in the details when you can feel this way.

The details will resolve themselves and you will find a way. You will develop a plan for making your dream come true.

The the more you keep it alive in your mind the more it will become clear to you. Follow your plan as it unfolds. You don’t need plans to be perfect or in their entirety the entire plan prior to beginning because plans change.

All people who succeed big pursue their dreams

People who succeed pursue their dreams and work their plans. The are dedicated and on target but flexible to change their plans along the way. The persist and adapt.

They never give up they just adjust as needed. They never let a detail stop them from getting what they want. It never occurs to them that they won’t succeed.

Read biographies of top achievers

Read the biographies of those who succeed and you will begin to see the elements they share in common. I share these here in these blog pages for you to read and re-read.

Successful people keep the big picture in mind and never let the specifics deter them. The goal is getting to the destination not how they are going to get there. Keep this in mind!

As for the journey delight in it.

Keep this in mind too! Delight in not knowing. It gives you opportunity to trust yourself and know that you are moving forward anyway.

Celebrate that good things are coming and happening to you even if you don’t know when or how. Have fun on the journey and delight in all things. When you get there you will see farther.” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

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How To Become A Real Winner

invest in yourself

“What do you think and believe before going into your day? When you get up in the morning do you expect it to be a good or not so good day? Do expect to find smiles mostly or frowns?

Do you plan to be delighted or disappointed? When you play a game do you expect to win or to lose? What do you anticipate? What do you think and believe before going into it?

Do you expect traffic to be a bear or do you expect to enjoy the drive regardless? Do you expect to encounter friendly people and co-workers or ones who aggravate? Do you think of the world as a friendly wonderful place or a hard, cold, cruel one?

Will you profit during a bad economy or lose money? Are you going to book the role in that play or movie or will someone else? Are you going to do your best or not?

Your Expectations Set The Frame

According to researchers much of what happens is due to what we expect to happen. What we believe, think or expect shapes how we react or respond to that ‘reality’ out there. They also suggest that much of that outer reality is actually a reflection of what we do inside our minds. Our perceptions create our reality.

In other words, what we expect to find we may find. What we don’t expect to find we most likely won’t encounter. Yes, there may always be some surprises.

When you feel positive and expect that you are going to win you are much more likely to. When you feel positive and expect to have a great day it makes all the difference in how you experience the day.

When you are positive that you will accomplish your goal; you know in your heart and mind it is possible to do so and you anticipate making it happen, you are much more likely to.

Expect To Win

Our mindset is comprised of our beliefs of what we think is possible or not. It is made up of our attitude whether positive or negative. It is determined by our thoughts whether we think something will be easy or hard.

Positive thinking IS about finding a mindset that serves you well and helps you to feel better. The higher quality your thoughts the better you feel. The better you feel the more you can accomplish.

When you expect or anticipate the outcome you are seeing it in your mind happening as you want it to happen. You imagine it as already already done. You have it ! You see yourself winning. You see yourself as having won.

Your brain knows the outcome you desire and what to do about it when you repeatedly give it the same strong message and images over and over. That is why positively charged emotional repetition is important. Your brain accepts your feelings and images as real.

It knows how to align your inner resources for you to do your best. Your thoughts, feelings and behaviors all work together for that outcome. You are congruent. There is no worry, no doubt or fear, no split in your attention. You are of one mind – the winning mind.

It is easier to win if you expect to win. WHEN you EXPECT to win you already KNOW you are going to win. Your focus is not on winning, because that is a ‘given’, but on doing what is necessary to insure the win.

Your expectations set the frame for you to behave appropriately, to carry out the activities, in alignment with what you expect.

You can expect to win and still lose but at least you will have tried your best. Focusing on ‘I am going to lose, we are going to lose’ insures the inevitable. Focusing on what you need to do to win, knowing you are able to, makes it much more likely that you will.

If you know you can win; if you never quit but  keep on going you will.

How You Begin Winning

Use Directed Questions™ to fill your mind with positive power and energy. Direct your mind repeatedly to what it is you want. Fill your mind with questions that lead you to where you want to go. Questions are powerful because your mind continues to work on them after you ask them and it IS the natural way our minds work.

Use affirmations Affirm it to yourself. Repeat over and over that you are a winner (or whatever it is you want). Develop 5 or 10 that you repeatedly chant while feeling the best you can. Say them out load enthusiastically and powerfully. Feel wonderful while you do. Think about them when you can’t say them out loud.

Make Positive Mental Movies Make positive movies and pictures in your head and review these again. See yourself  looking, feeling and doing what  you want to be doing. Imagine the outcome you want as though you already have it. See, hear, feel everything you doing and how are you feeling when you ‘got it’. See, it, feel it, hear it.

Read and Listen to  inspirational and motivational material each day. Read whatever you are able to read. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. It is better to read less material more frequently than too much too little of the time. Read at least a page a day.

Practice Gratitude! Be grateful for where you are at. Be grateful for the progress you make. Be grateful for the challenges (muscles grow because of opposition, use the challenges as learning experiences). Celebrate and be grateful for everything. It improves your attitude and opens you up to more opportunity.

Isn’t It Difficult

Won’t it be hard? Well, if you don’t golf and you give it a try it will seem unfamiliar, difficult and you may not be very good at first. BUT if you desire to get good at golf you will do whatever it takes and you won’t stop doing those things that make you better. You will practice and play as much as you can. You will read about it watch it, get a coach and you will get better and better in time.

This is true about anything we want to do; sing, play piano, knit, ride a bike, drive, swim, play tennis, type, do mathematics, act, edit, write. It is the same process when we take control of our mind to develop a winning mindset!

Two Great Quotes

When you expect things to happen – strangely enough – they do happen. J.P. Morgan

Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you’ll be able to see farther. J.P. Morgan

You will make your dreams and your goals come about much more swiftly when all of you co-operates to bring them about. When you are congruent in your quest and all your thoughts, feelings, talents, and abilities, your resources, are aligned.

When you are of one powerful mindset, one determined attitude, you are unstoppable. You will keep going until you have what you want. The more you do, the further you go, the more you are able to do and the more you can keep on going,

Do whatever you can, even a little bit each day, to develop your attitude and turn yourself into a Can Do person and you will be surprised at how quickly it all takes hold.

Consistent, positive, correct repetition will develop the skills and habits you need to become a full time winner. Begin today and get a jump on making your dreams come true!” Rex Sikes

Have a fantastic day!

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How To Stop Self Sabotage And BeFriend Your Mind

stop sign

“The unconscious mind doesn’t make a distinction between wanted or unwanted, good or bad it just goes where your energy consistently flows. It goes wherever you place your attention. Soil doesn’t care whether it is growing food or poison.

Whatever is planted and nurtured will grow. What have you planted AND what are you nurturing? The results you are getting tells you the answer.

If your you don’t like the results you are getting that tells you you are focused on the wrong things. You are focused on what you don’t want too much of the time. By focusing on what you don’t want, or spending time complaining about the results you stay stuck.

If results are haphazard and not consistent; if you keep trying but still keep failing or something is holding you back and you feel in a holding pattern then you are mixed positive and negative. Sometimes you are more one than the other but you go back and forth.

When you are mixed positive and negative there is no predominant thought so results are mixed and inconsistent. It means you drift or are wishy washy in this regard. To get the results you want requires commitment. It requires persistent consistent action.

You Get What You Focus On

You become what you think about most during the day and night. What you think about you bring about. If you spend most of your time outdoors, in the sun, in a bathing suit you can expect to tan. If you spend most of your time indoors, bundled up, out of the sun you can expect not to tan.

The results you get are due to the predominant time you spend thinking either positive or negative thoughts. Unfortunately, most people, because of habit, because of doing it for so long, aren’t even aware of how negative they are. They don’t realize how much of their power they give away through worry, blaming others, the world, events and even themselves.

If you are mostly filled with fear, or doubt, or complaints and blame this is what you will have in life. One thought produces another and another. Our brains work this way. We make associations, we have triggers, there are neural pathways.

Birds Of A Feather Flock Together

If you are mostly filled with joy, confidence and optimism you will get more of this in your life. Positive thinking isn’t magic it is developing a strong winner’s mindset. It doesn’t make the world better it makes YOU better. When you are better you make your way in the world better.

This is why it is worth it to take charge of your thinking.

If you aren’t getting the results you want then you need to do something in order to get them.

The first step is to assume total responsibility for what you think. Your thoughts determine your feelings. Learn to become aware of what you are thinking when you are thinking it. Catch yourself when you think negatively and change it.

It Is Great To Know What You Do Not Want BUT There Is More

Once you know what you don’t want you must  turn your attention from what you don’t want and to what you do want. Then focus completely on what you do want to make happen. Keep your attention and energy there. Remember, YOU GET what YOU FOCUS ON!

It is okay to have negative feelings because they inform you when you are off track and focusing on what you don’t want. Utilize them. Use you fear or anger or sadness to move away from those very same feelings. Get to that ‘enough is enough’ place inside you! Make it a point to get sick and tired of being ‘sick and tired’. Think ‘never again’ and then turn your attention to focus on what you do want.

The Knack, The Trick, The Key …

The knack, the trick, the key is to keep turning your attention to what you want, what you want to create, what you want to attract, what you want to feel and away from what you do not want, what you feel bad about and negative thinking.

You have to KEEP turing your attention to what you DO want to think and feel; what you can do productively and  how resourceful you already are and how wonderful life is UNTIL it becomes an automatic positive habit. THEN your subconscious mind takes over and helps you begin to get the results you desire.

In order to do this you become must become aware. You must notice when you aren’t so that you can focus your attention positively. You take charge. You make yourself responsible for everything! THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MINDSET TO ADOPT!

You stop whining and complaining. You direct and manage your self-talk, you ask Directed Questions™, you direct your internal movies and imagine what you want as if you already had it. You repeat your questions and affirmations and mental movies throughout the day.

Whatever You Planted And Nurture Grows

You fill your mind with positive thoughts. The goal is to have fun and feel the best you can most of the time. The goal is to enjoy the process and have a wonderful life not only as an end result but during the journey. In order to do this you need to feed and nurture your mind and being.

Read inspirational material. Listen to inspirational audio programs. Hang with positive inspirational people. Attend inspirational events. Think of the 80/20 rule. At least 80 percent of your time should be focused on being positive, powerful, confident, happy, healthy and having fun. The scale should tip in your favor.

If this sounds like a lot, it may seem like it to start. When it comes down to it it isn’t. There is no substitute for having a marvelous experience. Either you do or you don’t. If you want life to be more juicy fun and delightful it will be up to you to make it that way.

The Easiest Way To Begin

The easiest way for some people to begin is to think or and write out a handful of positive statements or affirmations that are meaningful to you. Think about them and say out loud. Chant them with enthusiasm while driving or alone. Saying them out loud with lots of powerful emotions is great! It speeds things up!

Even easier is to put the affirmation statement into the form of Directed Questions™. For example, you can say ‘I am lucky’. AND you can ask a lot of questions around this.

You might ask, ‘How soon will I discover how incredibly lucky I am?’ ‘In how many ways am I lucky that I haven’t even yet begun to imagine? Isn’t it amazing to discover things really work out the best for me? In how many ways can I begin to appreciate how lucky I am?What must I do to convince myself that I and I alone create my own good fortune?

How easily can I always remember that I am a lucky person? Isn’t it marvelous things always work out for me? How soon will I fully and completely recognize that I always land on my feet? What are the many different ways I feel luckiest?’

You can replace luck with confidence, courage, loving, positive, peaceful, strong, smart any positive attribute you desire. Ask these questions again and again and again. You don’t have to know the answer the answer is not the point. The quality of your life is determined by the quality of the questions you ask.

It Won’t Grow If You Don’t Plant It – To Get Results You Must Act

Pick a topic and ask questions, add new positive ones in. Ask in clusters. Wonder, really wonder. Affirm what you want with positive feeling and strong conviction. Fill yourself with positivity and productive options. It gets so much easier, fun and exciting as you go along.

The difficult part to understand is that you will not see new results unless you fully engage in the process. I say ‘try it’ to whet your appetite but dabbling won’t bring you the results you want ONLY commitment will.

Once you commit you can discover the world as your oyster. New possibilities will open up to you. You will make good things start happening. You will feel, think and act better!

It most likely won’t happen over night. It could, but it may not. Everyone has different experiences. Let it go. Just make it a point to get on the ride and enjoy the ride. It is the only way to make an incredible difference for yourself.

Grab hold of all life has to offer you today. Take control of yourself, your thoughts and feelings and the soon you will realize that the benefits outweigh any of the necessary activity to get them!” Rex Sikes

In how many different ways are you excited about this day?

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Do This Whenever You Are Nervous: It Will Help Immensely!

fun to do the impossible

“Do you ever get nervous in public? Do you have difficulty speaking or performing in front of others? Are you afraid to meet new people? Perhaps, sometimes you are just jittery what can be done about it?

Since we are on the subject of Directed Questions™ and how we can direct the mind in useful ways to get the desired results or outcomes we want I thought I would share this article I published years ago.

Originally, it was a post to a Inet group. I was writing to help someone overcome performance jitters or anxiety around being in front of a group of people or an audience.

I work with actors, speakers, attorneys, doctors, educators and people from all walks of life. As I recall, this was a magician but this process, my method, applies to everything we do. I hope you enjoy this article. I hope you will begin using Directed Questions™ to make an incredible difference for yourself.

First Performance Jitters

By Rex Sikes

You are getting some good advice here from fellow performers, know your routine well, jitters are normal, etc. All sound advice. Heed it.

What I additionally do is ask myself positive productive questions which lead my mind in the direction I want it to go in.

‘For example, I ask myself questions like ‘Just how surprised and delighted I will be to discover myself having a marvelous time?’

‘In how many different ways can I discover myself delighted and excited at having the opportunity to perform?’

‘How much fun can I stand and in how many ways will I find myself enthused?’

‘How easily can I discover my sense of humor (or whatever) and how much I love performing?’

‘In how many different ways can I excite and entertain the audience, and have them have fun and enjoyment?’

‘In how many different ways can I feel and express my enthusiasm for entertaining?’

‘How quickly will I discover an ever increasing sense of confidence arising in me to the point where I feel totally incredible about this wonderful opportunity to amaze and delight strangers?’

‘How many new friends can I make as a result of this opportunity?’

These are just a few brief sample questions you can ask yourself – or develop your own.

I use questions like these questions to fill my mind. You see when you ask a question your mind goes in search of an answer. It knows what to look for since we grow up asking questions. The problem with most of us is that we have asked crappie questions of ourselves and others.

So I use good positive questions to stimulate my mind to search for answers which I already presuppose to be there. (understanding language presuppositions which occur naturally in English or any native speaker’s language is most beneficial).

For example, I already assume to have a delightful experience. The question I ask is ‘how quickly I can recognize the delight? OR ‘in how many ways I will discover myself feeling delighted or find myself thinking positive happy thoughts?’

OR ‘what is the first thing I will appreciate about myself when I discover myself already behaving in that fashion, or will I tell myself when I suddenly find that I have behaved in that fashion?’ ‘Where will I feel the delight most in my head, heart, chest etc.?’

I presuppose (or assume) I will have it then I ask how I will manifest it or recognize it or act, speak, think or see regarding it.

In other words, I want to get my brain to work for me. I want to say things like ‘I wonder how quickly I will realize how excited I am’ (rather than I’m nervous). Notice also I am not make affirmations – in other words I am not claiming something to be the case when it is not – I am posing questions in a particular fashion, which directs the mind and doesn’t set up conflicts with what you know to be true.

For example, some people make affirmations like “I am my ideal weight’ when clearly they are not and everything including the mirror tells them otherwise. However, if you ask ‘How quickly can I discover myself maintaining my ideal weight, losing weight easily and enjoying all the right foods in the right amounts?’

AND ‘How happy will I be to discover myself just naturally eating healthier and shedding the pounds?’ your brain doesn’t know the exact answer, and you haven’t given it anything to conflict with. You have simply lead it along the lines with least resistance.

The cool part about brains is they really do look for the answers when questions are asked. So I use my brain to program the behaviors I want. Including calm relaxed confidence, quite assurance and the energetic and dynamic appeal needed for entertaining maximally.

Now notice I didn’t ask a question searching for a particular answer such as ‘what is the capital of Montana’ or ‘on what day at what time will all this make sense to me?’

I ask questions in an open ended fashion, like – ‘even though I don’t feel totally comfortable with this yet, how quickly can I begin to discover myself beginning to relax and feel calm and confident?’ AND ‘where can I begin to put my attention which will be most useful for me in discovering how truly talented I really am?’

‘How quickly can I begin to find myself truly recognizing just how wonderful I am and how lucky I am to be able to share myself and my talents with an audience of twenty or thirty friends?’

See again, I lead my mind where I want it to go and then I fill it with these positive thoughts morning, noon and night AND especially when driving.

I have been doing this for close to twenty years so for me it has been second nature for nearly as long.

I also use my quiet time (or else I purposely make some quiet time 3 – 5 minutes at a time a few times through out the day) to imagine or picture what I want happening, beginning to see myself behaving in the manner I wish to behave in and then ask myself questions about ‘how quickly I can already find myself behaving like this?’, AND ‘what I will see, hear or tell myself or feel as I continue to successfully engage in these positive behaviors?’

Now it is important to do this throughout the days in advance of when you need it. Repeatedly fill your mind with powerful positively phrased questions and positive internal imagery and wonderfully positive feelings of anticipating doing well, even beyond your wildest expectations.

Continue to practice your routines and let the questions and mental work you do make you excited about the event. Remember, you have the opportunity to dazzle new found friends and acquaintances. It is really a marvelous opportunity.

There is much I do for myself and as a performance coach. People who have used and tested my methods do exceedingly well. And I have years and years of very happy satisfied people who have learned to run their own brains to benefit them in powerful ways.

So take all the good advice, use it, practice your routine, fill your mind with useful positive thoughts and go out there and give them one heck of an incredible performance!!!!

Be well and enjoy!!! Rex Sikes
Whether or not you perform professionally as an actor, comedian, magician, acrobat, public speaker or not you can use Directed Questions™ to help you in whatever you want to do.

Whether it is feel happier, get some rest, be more confident, have more energy, eat right, maintain your ideal weight, save more money WHATEVER it is you want you can use Directed Questions™ to help make your dreams and goals come true. SO, why not discover how incredibly powerful these questions are when you begin today? Rex Sikes”

How surprised and delighted might you be to discover the many magical moments that make up today?

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This Ability Separates The Successful From The Unsuccessful

invest in yourself

“How do successful business people and entrepreneurs handle stress and disappointment? Do they do things differently than the rest of the people? It turns out they do. What they do makes a critical difference in how they live and work and why they succeed.

Attitude Makes The Difference

Everyone faces challenges so it isn’t the challenges that sets these successful people apart from the rest. It was their ability to take disappointment or setbacks as only temporary. They were not defeated by defeats. They kept going.

Often in business setbacks come one after the other but successful people did not let that dampen their motivation or persistence. They continued onward. They maintained their attitude and expected things to work out for the best.

They were not born this way. These are skills they learned and cultivated. You can learn to be more adaptable and flexible in your approach too. You can be more resourceful in your work and in pursuing your goals and dreams.

You can move forward and not give up when challenges come your way or pile up. How?

Keep Everything In Perspective

It is your attitude that makes the difference. The CEO’s and successful entrepreneurs understood that you have to care but not that much! When dead none of this matters. Work is just another game you play. It is what you do to make money. Keep this in mind.

No one benefits if you work yourself to death or injure your health so that you are unable to enjoy your family and friends. Live first. Enjoy Life! Work hard BUT don’t kill yourself to get ahead.

It isn’t worth it to win the race and lose one’s life. Work or career is is not worth damaging your mental, emotional or physical health.

Enjoy Life Apart From Work

Have fun. Enjoy your family and friends. Enjoy hobbies and activities that have nothing to do with the work you do. Cultivate other interests that you look forward to doing. Find things to be passionate about.

Make time to do things you want to do with the people who are important to you. Walk, exercise, go to the gym.  Get out and have a good time. Take it easy and relax. Prioritize a healthy life over stressful work. You will work better and smarter the healthier and better adjusted you are.

Follow Your Purpose In Life

Hopefully, you are following your purpose in life through your choice of work. If not, look for ways that your work contributes to or helps you fulfill your life mission in other ways. Maybe, it is a means to save enough money to start your own company.

Perhaps, it is a stepping stone to the future whereby you gain valuable experience in needed areas. Find those reasons you are doing what you are doing and that keep you moving forward. Acknowledge and validate your efforts. Understand that whatever you are doing matters. You contribute to yourself and to others.

Keep going. Don’t quit when times get hard. See them through. You attitude and the reasons you are doing what you are doing will assist you in staying the course. You will remain committed for the right reasons. Persevere!

Smile, Giggle, Laugh And Breath

Smiling and laughter keeps us loose and relaxed. We stay healthier and happier and more relaxed when we laugh frequently. A good sense of humor is essential in dealing with life stressors. If you can find a silver lining in dark clouds or humor in adversity you will be on top of your game.

Norman Cousins wrote a book on the healing that laughter can bring. Watch funny movies and video. The internet is a good source for finding short clips to enjoy. Read humorous books and listen to funny audios. Obviously, you can watch comedians doing stand up.

The goal is to smile and laugh more each day. You can begin each day purposefully laughing out loud for at least five minutes while you get ready for work. It can be a form of meditation for you.

The laughing meditation. Just laugh. Even if you have to force yourself and it feels fake at first – do it. It will come more naturally the more you laugh. Laughing helps you to breath differently and breath deeper. It massages your diaphragm and is healthy for you.

Smiling more helps others feel better too. When you work with people and you look friendly and energetic and smiley it helps everyone. If everyone in the workplace did this imagine how enjoyable it could be,

Take deep breathes. Learn to breath correctly from the belly. Taking deep breaths is a stress reliever.  Throughout the day, lean back and deep breath for a minute or two. It is great for the immune system and over all health and well being.

Be Inspired And Stay Inspired

Read inspirational material daily. Entrepreneurs and successful business people surround themselves with posters and mottos. They read inspirational materials daily. They listen to audios that keep them motivated. They understand the importance of of a good, strong, healthy mindset.

Attitude is everything. When you fill your mind consistently with high quality inspiring thoughts you feel better. When you feel better you look better. You naturally smile and laugh more. You are more relaxed. You are better equipped to handle any setback or disappointments that comes your way.

Positive Thinking Is Solution Focused Thinking

Positive thinking is not fantasy thinking. It is realistic thinking. It is the ability to find your resourcefulness and apply it to any situation while expecting the best outcome. You work to find the best solution. You maintain a powerful frame of mind.

Since you are solution oriented you naturally you expect the best outcome whatever that may be. It is not wishful thinking. Positive Thinking is the application of strong thoughts about what you can and will accomplish and how. When you keep your mind inspired and positive you can achieve more.

Meditate, Visualize and Be Grateful

Meditate. The are many different ways to meditate. Close your eyes and listen, simply listen. Do nothing else. Pay attention to or feel your breath. Visualize relaxing in a wonderful place outdoors. Pick your favorite natural spot. Enlist all five senses and enjoy the peace and tranquility this brings.

You can repeat a mantra, a power word or a meaningful phrase to yourself. State an affirmation again and again. Manage your self talk – only say positive things to you. Alternatively, watch your thoughts come and go as an unbiased observer would, without judgement. Watch them drift off like leaves floating downstream.

Discover which form of mediating you prefer most by trying many. Take a minute or five whenever you are able. A good practice is to aside a specific time to mediate each day. You can do so for a few moments or an hour. It is up to you.

Visualize your goals as if you have already accomplished them. Since you made them happen see what you did to bring them about. Notice how you overcame any challenge or disappointment. Especially notice the wonderful feelings of having what you wanted, of making it your own and bask in these feelings. Enjoy these.

Feel grateful. Keep a journal. Visualize what you feel grateful for. Express your appreciation for yourself, others, events, situations and circumstances in your life. Be grateful for what you have done and what you have. Acknowledge others and be appreciative. Express your thanks. Live in celebration and abundance.

Enjoy The Good Feelings

The most important part of feeling gratitude is the feeling. The most important part of visualizing your future and what you want it to be are the feelings that accompany your wants. Emphasize and feel the feelings. Enjoy them. Savor them. Accentuate them and linger with them. The more you feel good and the longer you feel good the better overall.

Develop Successful Habits That Support You

Because the entrepreneurs made these practices habits they were more successful than those who do not. They were better able to keep going, not give up and handle challenges and disappointments when others weren’t. Because they kept a daily regimen for being positive, happy, healthy they work better and enjoy life more.

As you develop and sustain successful habits your life takes on a wonderful new sense of meaning. Everything becomes much easier and more enjoyable. The tough times don’t necessarily go away but you handle them better and get through them quicker because you are much more resourceful.” Rex Sikes

It is your day today! How are you going to spend it?

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Need More Energy? Want More Life? How To Have It Now!

there is nothing impossible

“Would you like more energy to get through your day? Can you imagine feeling more wonderful more frequently? What if you were to live with more passion and enjoyment wouldn’t that be marvelous?

Well, you can! You can grab hold of life and give it a good squeeze. You can go for the gusto and smile, laugh, delight and live more energetically. You can take hold of your thoughts, feelings and your experience and make it more of what you want it to be.

In the decades I have been leading workshops and seminars I have had hundreds and thousands of people demonstrate this to themselves time and time again.

Energy Comes From How We Use Our Mind

How we use our mind is critical to how we feel and what we do. When we think sluggish we will feel sluggish. Our thoughts control our reality. Little things we think repeatedly (not just the big negative things) can drain us of happiness and energy so we want to think our very best to feel our very best.

We become and get what we focus on. If we repeatedly think negative, defeatist, thoughts we don’t feel up and filled with energy. In order to feel better now you need to take charge of your thoughts!

These blog pages are filled with how to help yourself think and feel better.

Energy  Comes From How We Use Our Body

There is a lot of documented research proving how we feel affects think. How we move and and use our body affects how we think. In my workshops I provide many demonstrations and exercises proving these points to individuals just like you.

One study published in the ‘Journal of Behavioral Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry’ found that subjects felt worse and remembered more negative things and fewer positive things when they  walked slouched over, shoulders hunched and didn’t move their arms much. This is how people typically walk when sad or depressed.

Stand And Walk Tall And You Feel Better

People felt better with spring in their step, pep, shoulders back, chin up. They felt better, they thought better and thought more positive. When we straighten our spine, pull our shoulders back and put our chin up we use our muscles differently AND breath differently. There are many reasons why we feel better when we stand and walk taller.

When you want to feel better move and walk with more energy and you will begin to feel that way. THEN keep at it.  Don’t return to slouching continue to walk feeling great! Think how soldiers march and the determination and confidence they exude. They wouldn’t if they hunched and slouched over.

How To Have 2 Times More Energy Right Now

You can imagine how you would feel if you had 2x more energy. Literally, you ARE able to do this. So do it. Try it on. How would you look, what would your expression be like?  Do it now. Imagine how you would be sitting and reading this if you had 2x more energy. What would your posture be like? Adopt that posture and that expression. Notice how you feel when you really do it.

Stand up and walk about with 2x more energy. Pay attention to how you walk and move. Notice how your gait is different. Notice your chin and shoulder position. Examine how you are breathing? What are your steps like? How do you move your arms? Do a complete check over and keep walking as if you have 2x more energy.

Linger in it. Bask in the energy, enjoy it. Spend time sitting, walking and standing with more energy. Practice it daily. Rehearse it. Make it a habit. You can you know. Anytime you want to feel better you can, because you know how. So make it a habit and use it.Great now double it again!

Walk and move as if you had 4x more energy. You can do it! Adjust your body and movement. Go walk about. Notice that you have control when you actually take control and do what is required. It affects you positively. Great now imagine 5x more energy. How about 10x more energy?

Make It A Habit And You Will Always Have It Available

Any time you want to you can imagine and have more energy and delight, more confidence and passion, more determination and enjoyment. You can use your body and mind to serve you anytime.

Stand in one spot and shake your entire body quickly for 30 seconds or a minute. That will charge you up. Put your arms over your head and wave them rapidly. Dance, skip, sing, and laugh to get more energy whenever you want it or require it. All you have to do is start it.

You can sit behind the steering wheel of a car and go nowhere, doing nothing, or you can start the engine and be on your way. If you want something to happen it will always be up to you. Think better thoughts and you will feel better. Feel better and you will think better. Do both and you will live with more passion and enjoyment and life will be more grand. Delight in in!” Rex Sikes

Have a fun filled day!

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If You Want Your Life To Change You Must Change Things In Your Life

i choose

“Have you ever wanted to make some changes? Has something stopped you? Have you tried but didn’t follow through? What is it about changing that people just don’t understand?  Why don’t they do what they want to do, even when it is in their best interest to do so? Has this been you at times?

You Go Where Your Thoughts Take You

You are today, right now, where you are, because of where you thoughts have brought you. You will be, tomorrow, where your thoughts take you. You become what you think about most often. Your life is the result of the thoughts you hold in your head and what you talk about most of each day.

You Get What You Focus On

If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t. Whatever you think about yourself you are right. You can not escape your thoughts. You either think and talk about what works and is wonderful and what you want OR you talk about what sucks, doesn’t work or what you don’t want most of the time.

Your Thoughts Are Either Positive Or Negative

Your thoughts are either constructive or they are destructive. Either way your thoughts are productive. You can’t think two thoughts at one time. You either mostly think positive thoughts or you mostly think negative thoughts. You life reflects what you think about most.

Your Mind Is Only As Strong As Your Weakest Think

If you really want to do something you will find a way to do it. Nothing will prevent you if you are committed. If you don’t want to do something  you will find an excuse. You will find a reason that you THINK is valid. Excuses are repetitive thoughts. Whining, and blaming and quitting are the easiest thoughts to think and to do.

You Can Learn To Be Positive More Of The Time

Skill comes from doing. Habit comes from repetition. The more you do something the more you are able to do. What is difficult at first gets easier. Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly at first. You will get better in time the more you do it. Repetition builds habit and skill.

Exceed Your Comfort Zone

Your current habits, mindset and abilities are those you have done most frequently, for whatever reason. You do them because you rehearsed them over and over even if you weren’t aware that was what you were doing at the time. To change you must do new things you may not be comfortable doing in the beginning.

If You Want Your Life To Change You Must Change Things In Your Life

While it may seem tough to change the habits you learned, at first, they are the proof that you can learn to do anything. You can learn to think, to be, to feel, to do differently IF and WHEN you want to. You can learn to do anything you dedicate your mind to. You can re-wire your brain to think differently, more efficiently and positively.

Now Is The Time

If you wait to change you will wait and wait. You will only do what is comfortable. That is what most people do. The reason they don’t change is because even though they claim they want to it is inconvenient. It seems too hard. They think they may have to do something that is difficult. They think they can’t. They make excuses.

DO YOU SEE IT YET? 

People don’t change because they don’t THINK they can or that it will be hard. Or they THINK they will fail. Or they THINK…. or they think… or they think… We are a product of our thoughts! You DO or DON’T do because of what you THINK at any given time. Thinking is what you say to yourself; your self-talk and the mental images you make. It is what you say to others.

You do whatever you habitually THINK you will or won’t! Your thoughts and feelings go hand in hand. If you don’t think it is possible you won’t feel like it is either. To change your feelings you must change your thinking. You can take control of your thinking! You can feel incredible when you do! Create the opportunity to change!

You Can Change In An Instant

Make a true decision to change right now and you will begin to change. You power comes from your decision. Follow through requires dedication and persistence. It is easier the more passionately you want to change. Think It and Feel It!

Change doesn’t have to be hard if you THINK it is easy. It can be fun, exciting and delightful. It can be whatever you THINK and BELIEVE it will be. While there may always be challenges you will be more prepared to handle them when you THINK YOU CAN!

To change right now means doing things differently. AND it means DOING them RIGHT NOW. If you put off changing now you succeed in putting off changing now. That is what you will succeed in doing.

You Are Always Successful No Matter What

You either think productively and positively and get what you want. OR you think destructively are negatively and get what you do not want. Either way the results you get are up to how you think and what you think about most of the time during your day. You go where your thoughts take you. You Become what you think about!

Stop It! Start Now! Begin today! Change your thinking and change your life. You will be glad you! You will feel better and better. The more you do the more you can do!

Skill comes of doing. You can and you will discover a whole new way to live and feel when you decide to. A new world will open up to you when you decide to take charge of your thoughts!” Rex Sikes

Make the most of today!

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Why We Need Faith, Patience And Diligence

patience is how you act while waiting

“I was reminded of a quote today and thought I’d share it. It is a really great reminder so I wanted you to have it. From William Penn, ‘Patience and diligence, like faith, remove mountains.’ I think that is magnificent!

Most of us are familiar with the biblical quote ‘if you had but the faith of a mustard seed you could say to this mountain be removed and the mountain would be removed.’ I love this because a mustard seed is incredibly small, and yet with that faith we could accomplish great things.

I think the problem with most people approaching a quote like that is that they expect a miracle. They want the mountain to become suddenly invisible. I accept it as an analogy for our difficulties and for our ability to accomplish our dreams. We can do anything given enough time.

We have to believe it is possible to achieve or we will never pursue it. We have to believe it is possible for US to get it and that we will get it no matter what. We have to believe we will accomplish our dreams so that we never give up. We need to believe in ourselves and our own abilities to make things happen.

We Must Have Faith

When we have faith we find we can accomplish great things and overcome any difficulty. Attitude determines our altitude. What we believe we eventually come to see. Mindset is the first step in getting what we want. Without it we may not make it. With faith we make it happen!

Faith is seeing the results you want already accomplished in your mind. It means you act as if everything you want is already yours on the inside. You celebrate your accomplishment as completed, finsished and done. You enjoy feeling what it feels like to actually have your dreams come true. You live and celebrate these feelings!

Patience is necessary because things take time. If we are hurried we may lose faith because we don’t see results in the phsyical world right away. We need to understand that it takes time for fruit to ripen so it takes time for us to make our dreams come true. It takes time to manifest our inner dreams as outer reality.

Nothing happens over night. The mountain may be removed shovel full by shovel full but not as if by magic. We have to hang in their and enjoy the process even when we don’t physically have what we believe we someday will. This is why we need faith and patience.

Patience And Faith Fortify Each Other

They go hand in hand. If we believe we are patient because we know, we expect, that what we want to happen will happen. We aren’t rushed, we can relax in our hearts and minds knowing we will absolutely bring about what we think about and work for. We rest assured it will all happen without fail!

Diligence means we continue in the process and the practice regardless of what difficulty we may encounter. We don’t quit or give up because it takes time but we continue to persist. We continue to deliver consistent quality of thought and attitude. We let nothing deter us from manifesting our dreams.

We Remain True To Our Goals

We expect to win and so we do by faith. We are patient in our pursuit and we stick with it. Diligence is defined as ‘constant and earnest effort to accomplish what is undertaken; persistent effort of body and mind; rigor; conscientiousness.’  We keep the faith through the constant application of our faith, our mindset, and because of this faith we continue to be diligent and patient.

It makes total sense these work together synergistically. We keep our mind’s eye on our chief aim or goal. We believe we can make it happen, we rest assured and patiently continue to earnestly work to bring it about regardless of circumstances or lack of results. We still know it will happen all in due time. We never lose sight of the shore!

We know if we continue in a positive direction forward we will reach our destination, even if the seas are presently turbulent, and land is nowhere in sight. We do not stop heading toward where we want to go.

I love the above quote by Penn because it reminds me that we have within us everything we need to make our dreams come true. All we have to do is use what we already have and we will make it happen.” Rex Sikes

Delight in this day!

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Use This Simple, Effective Secret To Well-Being And Happiness

savvy-quote-at-any-given-moment-you-have-the-power

“What would you do if you had everything? What if you had the fancy cars, the mansions, traveled by private jet, hobnobbed with celebrities, the rich and famous, and had a fabulous showbiz career but still felt empty inside? What if you had tried all sorts of therapies to feel better but still didn’t?

Recently, one of my coaching clients, in the entertainment business, came back to me with a progress report he wanted to deliver. When he first sought my counsel, years back, he had been doing well financially for quite some time. You’d have thought his life was quite perfect.

While he was outwardly a success, a large success, he stated ‘after all the money, I am still me. I am still a person with problems’. Normally, he felt something was missing. He could appear pretty upbeat and that all is well but he felt undeserving of his good fortune because, after all, he was ‘him’. Inside, he felt quite miserable.

That made him pretty cranky at times.  While other workers had him examine why he felt this way and work to uncover what might be at the core. I did not. I felt he already focused on what was wrong too much of the time and not enough on what was right and what was working for him. He had spent years in therapy without resolve.

I asked him to do what I have my seminar and workshop participants do. What I have done.  I asked him to do what I have shared in these pages.

Develop The Attitude Of Gratitude

First, I asked him to begin simply by making a list of the people and things in his life he is and was grateful for. I asked him to look into his life circumstances the very same way. What about his present AND his past could he appreciate? AND WHY? He was to write these down. He was to keep a gratitude journal. The ‘why’ was important too.

A few sessions later I asked him what lessons he might have learned whether he realized them or not? Could he go back through his life and connect the dots and see how, from this vantage point, things made sense in a way he had not noticed before? He could, in fact, and this was very useful for him. He saw his life unfold differently than he had ever considered.

For the first time he began to realize everything was perfect. Everything good and bad led him to this moment. Everything, every decision he made, every accident in life, all brought him to now as if by perfect design. He learned while on this route HE had been trying to get his OWN attention for years. He finally began to understand.

It was as if, all along, a higher self understood his issues and was attempting to help him resolve these. He just had not noticed nor had he listened. Now, he began to fully appreciate the stepping stones of life bringing him to THIS moment where he could re-claim, if not claim for the very first time, the authorship of his life.

Seek And You Wil Find

This illumination came to him in an instant but it didn’t come to him overnight. He spent some days and weeks devoted to seeking and finding moments to appreciate. I asked him to celebrate everything, as best he could, and to look for the silver lining in every dark cloud.

He did this morning and night. He was dedicated. He felt gratitude throughout the day. He stated that at first it seemed difficult but that it got easier and easier. Soon he kept discovering more and more. Soon he took 100% responsibility for his life and actions.

After all nothing else in his life had seemed to work to give him any form of relief. He had tried lots of therapy. That was one reason I didn’t approach it the way others may have. I simply asked him to focus on what was good, what was enjoyable, what worked and what lessons he could learn from all life events.

Like Attracts Like

I know that we become what we think about. I know that one thought attracts another and if you spend time thinking negative thoughts that will be the results you get. One negative thought attracts or causes another negative thought. That IS how we spiral downward.

If you spend your time thinking positive thoughts, if that is your primary focus, the results you get will be positive. You will feel positive and powerful. I had him concentrate on what was positive for him and what he could celebrate. He began to feel good about himself, positive, powerful and optimistic!

The list grew day by day, as did his positive feelings. In time he was a new person. His outlook had changed, his feelings had changed. He could enjoy all his wealth and accomplishments. He felt like a new person. He accepted himself and his past. HIs past became a meaningful treasure to him that had brought him to his present. No regrets, just more to celebrate.

What many people never learn or realize is that it IS just as easy to think positively as it is to think negative. People just do one more frequently than the other so they get good at one. Then the other seems foreign and more difficult to do. It isn’t, it is just as easy.

Develop Good Habits That Support You

In order to get good at doing something you never did much of before you have to do it frequently and regularly. You have to practice it as much as you practiced the other one. More in fact, until the new thought behavior is your primary one. It can take some time depending how much you dedicate yourself to it.

It can seem miraculous because it is. You can work miracles and bring about profound changes in thinking and feeling and positive action.

Now, I realize there are a lot of people like this gentleman that came to me. They have worked hard, climbed the ladder and still feel empty. Others live with lack and problems making ends meet. Rarer is the person who enjoys life and all works together well but they are out there too. Anyone can benefit by thinking better thoughts!

Whatever is going on for you YOU can change. You can change how you feel about it by how you think about it. IF you want to! If you don’t  want to you don’t. If you don’t want to you won’t. It’s simple.

You chose because it is YOUR choice. It is your decision. Nothing will change unless you decide to change it. If you don’t want to change IT will not change on its own. That is okay. Whatever you decide is what you decide.

You Can Change If You Want To

However, if you want things to be better they can be. If you want them to be different and if you want to enjoy yourself, and life much more, you can. There is a way but only YOU can do it.

If you want to life to change you will have to change things in your life. You become what you think about. My client changed what he paid attention to, what he had been focusing on. Hence he changes his thoughts from defeated to victorious. From ‘woe is me’ to celebration.

He changed his thoughts and his feelings changed. His life changed all for the better because HE looked into what HE was and is grateful for. He looked for small and large things to appreciate and celebrate. He viewed all situations as opportunities to learn and grow stronger and better. He changed because HE changed.

Remember is if you aren’t feeling how you want to feel AND you wish to change it and feel better, you can. There are many things you can do. One of the easiest and most powerful ways is to become truly grateful. Shift your attention to feeling lucky and blessed and you will transform everything about your life!” Rex Sikes

It’s your day how well will you spend it?

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