Category Archives: Personal Development

Secret To Building Self Confidence For Success

change your attitude and it will change your life

‘Confidence builds success and success builds confidence. Confidence is important. How does one build confidence?   If the successful person wants to achieve something she goes after it. It never occurs to a successful person that she might not get it. If she wants it she gets it.

How do you build this kind of success?

How would you begin to learn to walk a tightrope 60 feet in the air?

Would you climb to the top of the ladder and just step out on faith? You most assuredly would not. That most likely would bring disaster. The way in which one learns to walk a tightrope is by putting safety first. You begin with the tightrope lying on the ground.

You walk on the tightrope ON THE GROUND. Once you can do this repeatedly you raise the  tightrope a few inches off the ground. Then you raise it to a foot, then three feet,  six feet and then 10. You never go any higher than you are able to successful walk it. Before you know it you are walking way up high.

You first acquire the skill close to the earth. Once accomplished you go to the next level up. You learn to walk a tightrope in increments. You have to master the skill at lower heights to build the confidence needed to move up to to higher heights. You progress incrementally.

Once you have succeeded at a particular height (level) you feel confident. Success breeds confidence and that confidence breeds more success. You feel ready to move on. You know you can do it so you aren’t afraid to try. You have no doubt or fears.

You know you will succeed because you have built a track record of successes.

Apply this to getting your goals and making your dreams come true.

Set the goal you wish to accomplish small enough you believe you can attain it but large enough it is still fun to go after. This is important! You must make  it small enough that you ABSOLUTELY believe you could do it. You know, without question, you are capable. You expect to succeed.

If your goal is to make lots of money and if you have never made much you need to set your sights smaller at first. You will work your way up but start with something you know you can achieve.

If you have never made more than 40,000 dollars, before you  set your sights on millions chose an amount, that while it is a stretch, you know you can realistically make it happen. It will be a stretch but you can do it. First aim for 50, 60 or 80 thousand. Imagine how you would feel if you double your income? Pretty good I bet.

Once you have achieved that goal and you enjoy the confidence that comes with that success you set a larger goal. Perhaps, you aim at 150 thousand. Once you accomplish this and feel that success you aim for 500 thousand. You put the goal just outside your reach but not so far outside that you doubt you could get it.

You must believe you can succeed in order to succeed!

You want to build into your mental mindset, this success factor; ‘I can get my goals. I can make my dreams come true,’ How you know that is an accurate statement that you can trust IS because you have the wins to prove it. You have been setting goals and accomplishing them.

You know you are the sort of person who can go after what you want and get it. You keep winning!

Many people wish and hope for BIG things. They hope somehow someone will grace them with their wish fulfilled. They don’t realize that they are resourceful enough to make their dreams come true because they have never tried. They have wished large and when it was not fulfilled they felt worse.

The lost faith in their abilities because their abilities were never utilized. The lost faith in the universe because they wished, never pursued, and hoped circumstances would prove favorable. When it didn’t they accepted failure as their reality. There’s a vast difference between wishing and manifesting your dreams.

Confidence comes by training yourself to win small and then gradually win larger and larger. The more you succeed and overcome obstacles the more you grow confident and continue to succeed. Start small and finish big! Make each goal bigger.

The successful person knows that in every obstacle there are the seeds of greater opportunity. The successful person knows that temporary defeat is not failure until it has been accepted as such.

If you  give up you have quit the game.

As long as you play there is no permanent failure. There is challenge and opportunity. By playing the game and by keeping at it you develop skill and confidence. Repetition over time builds habit. Confidence and success are habits you build build playing the game.

Start small and work your way up. That is how you become confident and competent. With each win you feel stronger and you are stronger. You develop your skills and your confidence increases as you utilize your skills. Confidence and competent skill acquisition go hand in hand.

You build confidence by walking the tightrope near the ground. You master that ability before raising the height. You become the best by mastering the basics. Anything you can do at a lower level you could do at a higher level. Every step is important so you don’t want to skip any steps.

Make your dreams come true. Follow this formula for success and you will easily succeed. Remember, start small and finish big! Keep going and do not let anything stop you. Soon be making your large goals a reality.” Rex Sikes

Have a fascinating day!

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You Need To Be The Author Of Your Own Life!

focus on possibilties make it happen

“You could be limiting yourself and preventing you from living the life you truly want to live! Are you aware of that? You should find out if what you are doing is not only keeping you from your dreams and goals but keeping you from the good life right now.

What is your story? What are you telling others about who you are and what your day is like? You need to become aware of the story you want versus the story you keep telling.

You must choose carefully the story you want to tell because what you recount to others during your day is keeping you in your current reality. What you re-live in your mind and speech is who you are. If you talk about being stuck you remain stuck.

People spend much of their time regurgitating what has happened. They share all their disappointments and failures. They re-live over and over again the miseries from their past and present and wonder why they can’t get away from them.

I’ve said it before; you won’t get rich focused on being poor. You don’t get positive by thinking negative. You can’t move forward looking backward. You can’t be happy when all you do is complain. You won’t change if you blame others and circumstances for your problems.

You can’t live a rich, awesome, joyful and blessed life if you whine, complain, blame and recount disappointment and failures at the water cooler, over the cubby wall, at bars and restaurants, and dinner with your family. What you tell over and over again to others is what makes up your present reality.

In order to get away from it you need to tell the story that you want to be living.  You need to focus on the little things that you are grateful for. It is far more powerful and life changing to find and be thankful for something tiny than to be insincere in your gratitude.

You should discuss blessings, solutions, positive aspects of daily living. You can share how you did get over a problem and what did do that made a difference without spending a lot of time focused on the problem itself. Think about and talk about how your life IS the way you want to be. Discuss what you would be feeling and doing  if life were perfect.

Until you tell that story you’re stuck in the old story. You need to change the script you live from and share with others! You are the author of your life! Take charge and write the story, script it, how you want it. Take control. Don’t let it happen to you and then re-tell what happened that you didn’t want. That is being silly and foolish.

A woman came to me for coaching, not too long ago, complaining. She wanted life to be better and could not understand why she wasn’t making the progress she desired. I listen. It was easy to realize her focus was on everything that was wrong.

She felt weak and it was easy to see when she ‘shared everything she just had to get off her chest’ that it sapped her of her power.  She literally talked herself into feeling bad by what she chose to talk about. Many of us do this. Many who come for coaching have similar issues.  What we think about we bring about.

Gently, I told her she needed to re-write her speech. She had to author a new story. Instead of focusing on what she did not want and what was not right she needed to start talking about all that was right and what she did want.  I asked her to be detailed and specific so she could clarify and get it straightened out.

I told her in order for her to have the happy life she wanted she needed to live it in her imagination first and then share all the good thoughts and feelings she had when she spoke. She needed to focus on the good experiences of the day AND not the circumstances that got her down.  Living powerfully begins inside us first.

Before you know it she became happier and healthier and wealthier. Her life dramatically improved in a very short period of time. For some it happens quickly for some others it takes a little longer. She changed, because for the first time in a long time, someone told her it didn’t have to be the way she understood it.

She didn’t have to live crap over and over again. She could shift her focus away from troubles and onto blessings. I told her she could be what she wanted to be. I listened, I understood, I saw what was easy to see, and I recommended she take responsibility.

She did and she made  the changes with her new mindset. She now practices being positive! She shares positive stories and blessings without sounding like she has stepped out of a greeting card. She has made new habits of  choosing how she is feelings by what stories she is living from.

She understood she IS the author of her experience and she can write what she wants to live and be. Presently, she’s well on her way to a glorious new future. She understands that outlook and attitude, how we use words and what we think and share all day long, is what we become.

If you aren’t living the life you want? What do you think about and talk about most of your days. Instead of letting life happen to you and then talking about what you don’t like change where you put your attention. Be the victor not the victim. Don’t re-live wounds.

Focus more on what you want more of and less on what you don’t want. Realize you are the author of your life, take charge and write the life you want to live. Do it today! Don’t wait. Make it a habit.

Do it each day and you will soon be living that life. No one else can do it for you. Put a guard before your thoughts and words and only think and speak that which blesses, heals and prospers. Soon these will be your reality!” Rex SIkes

Make the most of today!

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Why It Is Important To Give And Get Recognition

what u put out u get back

“In my recent post I pointed out that RAVE (my acronym for Recognize Appreciate Validate Excellence) is a wonderfully powerful and important gift for people and for yourself. When we get RAVEd we can feel important, confident, respected, liked, loved or any number of positive wonderful feelings.

That moment of recognition can be a life long positive memory and resource the re-ignites all those incredible feelings whenever remembered. That is good reason to be certain to provide this experience to people important to you in life and business. It becomes a gift that keeps on giving. It may become a highlight and cherished memory for them.

There is another powerful reason for giving recognition, appreciation and validation to others. Creating positive experiences for others not only benefits them but benefits you. Remember the notion of what goes around comes around. You benefit whenever you do something wonderful for another person.

What you put out there comes back to you. I do not mean that because you recognize others that others will recognize you. They might. They most probably will but that is not what is meant. It is like a smile. When you smile nicely at another person you are more apt to get one back OR you just feel good for helping to make someone else feel good.

When you give positive energy out with no expectation of getting anything in return; when you commit an act of kindness simply for being kind; when you treat someone else marvelously just because you wanted to be nice you are benefiting yourself. You get to feel good about it.

You feel good because you made others feel wonderful. Both parties feel good. If there were nothing else that alone IS enough reason. Still, there may be something else. There may be that positive energy you generate for others DOES come back to you in any variety of ways.

This is the point of the Golden Rule. Treat others exceptionally well, shower them with positive regard, love and friendship. Validate and celebrate another person’s success without envy or resentment and you benefit.

Put into motion positive thoughts and feelings. Even if they never know about it YOU transform yourself. You become a better person.It changes you!  AND even if there is no return you STILL become a better person because of it.

You become a better person because you go first. You create something wonderful. There is no waiting, no whining, no blaming there is only great thoughts and feelings being generated. You become what you think about most of the time.

You can improve yourself by helping others mentally in your thoughts and in realty by your actions. Both work and both are important. Fill your life with gratitude, validation, positivity, happiness, joy, feeling marvelous, and you are more healthy and wealthy. From this mindset you can create anything you want.

You want more love. BE MORE Loving! You want better friendships BE A BETTER FRIEND. You want more money DEVELOP A RICH MINDSET. You want to feel better THINK BETTER. Thought precede actions and actions precede results.

You want better results? Begin with how you think and feel. Put the very best positive energy to work for you and for others. Create a marvelous world to be part of! Imagine how incredible your life will be when you make this an automatic, reliable habit.” Rex Sikes

Celebrate today!

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What Quality Determines Whether You Succeed?

people success after greatest failure NH

“What quality determines if you will succeed in your career? In life? WIthout it few ever make their dreams come true. You need this to be happy, healthy and wealthy. You can be, do and have anything you want in life if you embrace this quality.

Persistence. You must be able to carry on when others would quit. You must be unstoppable and not give up. If you will persist you will one day have what you want. Persistence means don’t give up and that you are wiling to do those things others won’t. If you will go beyond what others are willing to do you can write your own ticket.

Take one small, positive step in the direction of your goal daily and you will get there.  Do not allow yourself to be distracted. Do not miss a single day in the pursuit of your goal and you will succeed. If you skip a day it is likely you will skip other days. That is how people drift away from their goal. They cheat, skip, give in and give up.

If you want to succeed every day take one small step. Each day make at least one small action. If you commit to reading inspirational material each day and for some reason run out of time read a page. Read one sentence but read. Don’t just skip it and think you will do more or do double tomorrow. Keep your commitment to today!

Don’t blow it off. Reduce the amount you normally would read but read. Read just a sentence THAT is better than nothing. DO it. If you exercise, and you can’t then take a walk. Stand while you watch television. Don’t skip a day! Figure out how to take some small positive action to keep you on track. Develop positive habits!

Successful people never let things interfere with what is absolutely important to them. When people cheat on their goals and skip a day thinking they will make it up they don’t. It gets easier to blow it off the next time. Excuses then rule. Blaming begins. You want to believe in yourself not excuse yourself for not doing and later blame.

Don’t succumb to the temptation. Find a way to do something, anything, that constitutes staying on track and moving forward. You will benefit greatly if you do this. You will maintain positive momentum and attitude. You will not let yourself down. You can take pride in sticking with it. You will not have broken your commitment to yourself. That is a big deal! You honor and respect yourself!

When people break their promise to themselves it whittles away at their commitment. Each time adds more negative weight and makes it harder to stick at it. It becomes a slippery slope. Never allow it in the first place. Stay on track and you will feel better. Obstacles arise. There are times when you won’t feel like it. Life happens but stay with it. Keep your commitment. Persevere!

It is important to keep your commitment in even the smallest way. When you follow through no matter what you keep your spirit up. When you keep going in spite of challenges you realize you can and you feel better for doing so.  You can believe in yourself and your word! Don’t let yourself down and you’ll  win the game. You really can be, do or have anything you want if you will stay with making it happen.  Make your dreams come true. Win the game!” Rex Sikes

Have a beautiful day!

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What Kind Of Abundance Do You Experience? PT 2

imagination-quotes-for-imagination-sets-the-goal-quotes

“Sometimes it seemed like I’d take one step forward and a couple steps back. Occasionally, I’d get disenchanted as I looked at circumstances and thought, ‘It just isn’t happening quick enough!’ Then I’d remember where I needed to return my focus to. I realized I was off course and need to get back on and focus on my destination and where I was headed. Course correction saved the day!

It was always a little up and down. When deep downs came along I was so much better able to handle them than ever before. What would have thrown me off for a long time now, while challenging, allowed me to look into areas I needed to in order to become more flexible, or be more persistent. I was and am learning!

I learned never to quit but to bend instead of break. Good times were plentiful and minor moments become more delightful. All in all life became so much more worth living! It always has been but sometimes we forget. I know I did. I was taking 100% responsibility for all the bad and the good and everything was getting better as a result. Thought, mindset, attitude always precedes action and results.

So slowly at times, more quickly at others, I evolved myself and my life into more of what I wanted it to be. My first steps seemed to be to stop getting so much of what I didn’t want. I had always been great at doing that. I created lots of troubles in my past.

Now, I was learning and accepting that I could be great at getting what I wanted too. I stopped focusing on what I didn’t want and began focusing on what I did want. What an amazing change that brought about!

It is awesome and fun to realize one’s potential and role as a creator in one’s own life. The power, the creative ability and the responsibilityIt is magnificent!  I take 100% responsibility, as I become aware of my part in it, for everything I have had, lost, get, will get and enjoy. All of it, everything! Doing this puts me in the driver’s seat!

Everything good and bad has always been up to me. Since I have adopted this position I am capable of so much more because it all boils down to me and my attitude instead of relying on others or blaming them. It is not about changing others or circumstances to get my way when less than glorious things happen.

I change my attitude, my thoughts, my responses and move forward with what I might do instead of blaming or criticizing. Instead of feeling stuck or dependent on ‘things’ to change I change! That makes all the difference in the world. I am not a victim but a victor in this mental stance.

I don’t care if it is actually accurate that we are 100% responsible I know this mental stance has helped me immensely.

Oh, believe me, I am a work in progress. I have much to work on,  but I have learned to accept that and be ‘cool’ with that. I am growing as a plant does. Whatever growing I have left to do I will do for as long as I have time left. I don’t expect to be complete I expect to discover more and delight more.

I know challenges may always come. Not so long ago something came up that just about took the wind out of my sails. After about a day I realized I had my attention in the opposite place from where I could have placed it. SO I changed my attention, had numerous discoveries and made things better. What took a day may have taken months or years previously.

Am I happy with my journey. You can bet your ass I am. I am thrilled! It began in bad times.  It got so bad I knew I had to make instant changes. I decided to fill my mind each day with thoughts that inspired me, helped me to feel grateful, and move forward. Step by step, day by day. All these years later, I could never be more pleased with a decision I made. Best one I have ever made in my life.” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

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What Kind Of Abundance Do You Experience PT 1

you decide every second

“You can have anything you want in abundance. Health, love, success, money, things. Or you can have anything you don’t want in abundance. Illness, broken relationships, failure, poverty, no home or possessions. The critical question is what kind of abundance are you creating and attracting?

You will get whatever your predominate thoughts are about. You will make happen and attract whatever you think about and focus on most of the day all the days of the week. What we concentrate on occupies our mind, our attention and our energy. Our energy goes into whatever we are preoccupied with.

So if troubles; lack of money or mounting debt and bills, discord in relationships, difficult home life, career disappointment or being out of work, are what you think about most day and night you are keeping your troubles alive. Worry is negative goal setting. What you think about you bring about.

Some time ago I was doing okay. Then some bad things happened. One after the other more bad things occurred. I wondered, ‘Why all this bad luck? Everything is going wrong!’ I used a lot stronger language I can assure you. It seemed everywhere I turned it only got worse. I complained, I whined, I tried to fix it desperately but it only continued. At the height of it all, I gave up. I realized at some point I couldn’t change it as I was. I had to change me.

I made it a point to read positive inspiring material every morning first thing. I’d read a page, a chapter whatever I could make work for the day. I would do it no less than thirty days. So I began. I read and listened to inspiring audios whenever I could. Slowly during the month my mindset relaxed and my attitude began to change bit by bit. I cautiously began to apply some of the things I was reading about and learning. I felt grateful I was taking the initiative.

I vowed to stay sane and not get carried away or become one of these ‘pink’ energy bubble people I had spent so much time around and even dated in years past. I wanted solid, practical, applicable skills, thoughts, and behaviors that would transform me without me becoming doe-eyed and hugging trees.

I didn’t want to become a cosmic cosmonaut with my feet six inches off the ground. I wanted to live in the everyday world and get some relief from nagging issues I carried with me, even though I have been a life long student and proponent of personal change and development.

If I had to become a weirdo to be happy then I really wasn’t all that interested. I read things from ancient texts, I read Napoleon Hill again, some more, throughout the years. I read others, anyone and everyone, who seemed to suggest that there was and is a realistic way to make wonderful things happen without relying on mysticism and other ‘beings’ to do it for me.

What can I say. Those thirty days transformed my life. At the conclusion of the thirty I continued the practice. I do to this day. I have learned and grown and have seen and understood so much. I have much to learn and yet to understand. Life though, is so much more incredible than I could have ever imagined. I filled myself with gratitude and joy. I felt confident and successful! I felt happy!

It has nothing to do with things or accumulations it is the depth of the change within me that I value most. I can enjoy possessions in ways I never did before. I am excited and eager and enthused in ways I never was before. I live and love living. Really, about all I can say is ‘WOW’! I feel so blessed and so thankful!

I can trace back to precisely what the first incident was and then the second that made me begin to realize I needed to approach things differently. It was a very difficult time for me as things went from bad to worse. I point this out because it seems this is often the way we come to changing ourselves. Something gets so bad, or we bottom out and we say, ‘stop, no more, never again’ and we move on into new ways of thinking and being.

Every moment of life is amazing EVEN when it appears not to be. I have done some incredible things in my life and I got settled and was coasting. I began to take things for granted. It was easy to complain when things started getting tougher. I even enjoyed complaining. Except when I did complain more and more of the joy and goodness and delight drained from me. I learned to put a guard on my thought and speech.

I AM SO GLAD IT DID!!! Had I kept going as I was going I can only bet it would have sucked even more. Fortunately, some glimmer inside me, told me I had to take the driver’s seat of my own life again. I am so thrilled and happy and pleased with the journey ever since. Did the skies open up and riches rain down on me. Nope, all things take some time. Gradually, bit by bit things got better.” Rex Sikes   More In Next Post!

Have a delightful day!

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Are You Ready? When The Student Is Ready The Teacher Appears!

old ways won't open new doors

“What makes a student ready? What makes a student? A student is one who takes interest in a particular subject, studies and learns. Then applies what one learns.

When I was a teenager, more than anything, I wanted someone who would show me the ropes in show business. A mentor. One day, by chance, I met a man. He was successful in the movie business, he had many successful proteges, and he saw something in me. He was willing to guide me for free.

He didn’t want anything in return. Truly, nothing, other than the satisfaction of seeing me make something of myself in the business I wanted to succeed in. That alone, terrified me. I was always second guessing his motives but I told him I was willing to do anything, professionally, it took to make it. I said that again and again.

So he told me what to do. He gave me the first step. ‘Oh, you don’t understand’, I’d exclaim, ‘I can’t do that.’ I would proceed to tell him why. He’d nod understandingly and explain that I could do that or do this other thing. ‘Oh no,’ I’d say, ‘I am willing to do anything but not that’. I didn’t want those lessons or could not see the value of pursuing a particular area.

Time and time again he would make suggestions. Most I would negate. Some I would try usually abandoning whatever it was he had me doing. He never complained. He completely accepted me resisting him and never threw up his hands or told me he would not continue. Our relationship lasted a number of years.

I left him eventually to find someone who could help me make it in showbiz. So what is a student? When is the student ready? A student becomes ready when the student is teachable. I was not teachable. I knew what I needed and was willing to do and not do. To say,’Yes, but’ and ‘no, you don’t understand’ and then provide reasons are really nothing but excuses. AND, pay attention here – Excuses ARE excuses and nothing else!!

The questions one has to ask oneself is ‘how teachable am I?’ Many people answer, ‘I am willing to learn anything’, but when the rubber hits the road they actually aren’t. I wasn’t. How teachable are you? How willing are you to change? How willing are you to change what you think and what you are doing to think and do something new?

Instead of being open and flexible of mind to take in NEW information and practices many people merely defend the old. That is what I did. I had all the reasons and defenses ready for why I could not or would not do or try something. If I didn’t think it would work or see the value in it I wouldn’t allow it in. I discarded it before understanding it by experiencing it. Excuses prevent new opportunities from occurring.

You cannot describe the taste of an orange to someone who has never tasted an orange. Nor can you describe the color red to the person who has never seen color. It is the experience of using the information that can be life changing. If one is not willing to apply the knowledge in order to change and get different and better results then one will remain stuck getting the same results they hope to improve. Instead of taking responsibility and becoming aware of their resistance most will simply blame others or circumstances thus insuring they remain the same.

It is the experience of tasting the orange that makes the difference. Information does not transform us. Knowing what to do and not doing it won’t make us a success. Applying what we know IS the difference that makes the difference. In order to learn, understand and apply it we first must be open to taking it in. We must not defend ourselves. We must let go of excuses and stop resisting.

People argue that what they previously learned, understood and know to be true is different from the new information they are being asked to accept. Instead of accepting the information they defend the old. They are not very teachable in that moment. In order to be ready you need to be an open vessel. I claimed to be open but was anything but. It is easy to self-deceive.

There is the story of a Master pouring a potential disciple a cup of tea. The master pours and continues to pour until the tea overflows and continues to overflow. ‘Stop!’ cries the potential student. ‘The cup is full.’ The Master replies, ‘When your cup is full you cannot add anything to it. Your cup must be empty. Go and empty your cup.’

The point should be obvious. The master deems that the student’s mind is too filled with what they already know. It is filled with too many potential objections, beliefs and resistance to be ready to learn. The student is not ready and open so is sent away. When ready the teacher appears. I was not ready. Many times I have not been ready. Just as with gardening the soil needs to be prepared and receptive to the seeds.

We need to recognize when we are listening only to speak and present our view instead of listening to gain understanding about things we don’t know about. We need to recognize when we are closed to new ideas and unable to accept information. We need to see when we resist and stop.

The way to being a good student is to recognize when we are not ready to learn and when we are ready to learn. Awareness is the key. For most of us this is a matter of ongoing management. The door is not always open. It is open and closed and open again. Then closed, and closed, then open. We need to discover when we close the door and open it to be available to new life changing information.

If we only understand the new opportunity, the new knowledge and experience, as an addition to what we already ‘think we know’ then it is just more information. Information alone won’t change us! We have to be willing to apply it. If we don’t use it we don’t know it. I ‘knew’ what to do! I was told what to do but I didn’t apply it so I didn’t get any benefit from ‘knowing’ the right things.

It is life changing when we are open and embrace it and use it. Then information, the lessons, lead us to new ways of thinking and being. Information doesn’t change us. Knowledge doesn’t change us. Only by using the knowledge can we begin to change. It is in the application of the knowledge where we learn the lessons. It’s the experience, the attempts, the defeats, the challenges that we learn from. Experience!

Seek to be open and available without judgement or analysis. You may analyze at another time but while learning it is not the time to evaluate the merit of what you are learning. You cannot fit a square peg into a round hole. The new material won’t fit into an old, already filled, container. You don’t put new wine in old wine sacks.

You can’t defend what you already know and remain open. That is not being open. That is refusing to accept! The mind is full, it is occupied it is busy and the Master cannot add any more to it BECAUSE it IS full. Some things take a very short time to learn; minutes at most but they require an entire lifetime to master. Quick to learn and a lifetime to master is the principle. Mastery comes by successfully applying the information in multiple circumstances over a duration of time. Correct repetition breeds good habits.

Learning to be open and being willing to change can take a long time to master. It is so simple it can be difficult to grasp. Stay open, be willing. We may claim we are open many times when we are not. I certainly have! Awareness is the key to change. Many times we will fall but we need to get back up and try again. Frequently, we will close the door to change while thinking we have left it open. We need to be able to notice when we shut down and resist.

A student is humble not defiant. A student is receptive. When the student is ready the teacher appears. Who is the teacher? It could be anyone and anything. It could be a life experience. It could be a formal teacher, a book or a seminar. The teacher IS whoever presents the lessons when the learner’s mind is open to receive. You can even be your own teacher at times.

No one can provide you life changing information that will make any difference whatsoever in your life until you are open and ready to receive it. They can preach it, teach it and shout it as loud and long as forever but until you are ready to hear it and embrace it the wisdom it falls on deaf ears. You have to be open and willing. You must also be willing to take the time to master the lessons. There is no substitute.

One might as well be yelling at a bunch of insects who are marching into certain destruction. They don’t know what is ahead. They can’t see it. – AND – The insects simply don’t understand the message! They don’t get the necessity of understanding it NOW! They aren’t able yet to understand you OR that you are attempting to help them! Unless you are open and teachable no teacher can teach you. It is more accurate to state a teacher presents IT IS THE LEARNER who learns. YOU either learn or you do not!

It is totally up to each of us. It is totally up to the individual student. The responsibility is 100% the student’s to be a good student. When you are a great responsible student you can learn from any source. The source may be wonderful or hardly adequate but as an incredible learner you can learn anything from anyone!

The questions one should continually ask oneself is, ‘How teachable am I?” and ‘What can I do to remain open and easily learn?’

If you are willing to learn you must be willing to change. You can’t remain the same if you want your life to be transformed. For your life to change you must change things in your life. You must change your thoughts, feelings and behaviors to get different results. If you are not willing to learn and are unwilling to change you won’t! You must also consider, ‘What is my willingness to change?’

Mindset, attitude and beliefs, your thoughts, always precede what you do and determine the results you get. If you are not pleased with the current results you are getting you must be willing to change things for you to get the results you’d prefer to get. Doing the same thing over and over again won’t get you different better results!

It is totally, and completely up to you and no one or anything else. This is the truth each of us must face. The responsibility is 100% ours alone. So, how teachable are you? How willing to change are you? Be honest with yourself. When you are ready the teacher does appear.” Rex Sikes

Have a blessed day!

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Why You Should Never Fear Negative Emotions

that i do today imporves ur tomorrows

“You should never be afraid of negative emotions weak or strong. In fact, the more intense the negative emotions the better.  ‘What?’ you say, ‘Are you crazy Rex? The more intense the negative emotion the better. WHY is that?’

Strong or intense negative emotions are useful. They are valuable indicators that you can use to make positive changes in your life. Never fear them! Welcomed them when they occur. Understand them.  They are an alarm system, a signal alerting you. They arise to get  get your attention whenever whatever you were doing isn’t working.

The negative feeling IS intense to get your attention that what you’re thinking or doing or feeling is not working. Negative feelings alert you so that you can do something about it. Embrace them. Welcome them for what they are. Signals alerting you to opportunity!

All of our emotions are useful indicators. They inform us when we are on target and moving towards our goals and when we are off. They alert us to when it might be prudent to slow down and use caution so that we remain safe. It is a wise person who pays attention to and understands these emotional messages.

The goal is to feel good most of the time. When you are feeling marvelous your feelings let you know everything is going well. Your thoughts are aligned with your desires, there is no resistance and you are moving ahead towards accomplishing your goals. You are focused on what you want and you feel great! This is how it should be!

When life gives you something you don’t like or you discover yourself feeling bad the accompanying negative feelings alert you that your focus has shifted. It has shifted from what you want to what you don’t like. You are now focused on what you do not want.

You have taken your eyes off your goad may be focused on the circumstances around you or the distance between now and the accomplishment of your goal. You might be impatient or focus on the lack of completion. Instead of focusing on how wonderful everything is and will be you might be thinking how everything sucks.

When the feelings are intense; when you’re feeling bad; when you get to that frustrating, negative,  angry, place when that last straw breaks the camel’s back and you say NEVER AGAIN! This is a great place to be! These intense emotions cause you to decide,  ‘Never again! I will not be broke! I will not be afraid!  I will not be weak! I will not be fat! I will not be a victim’ This IS the moment when change can occur!

At this moment you have to stop focusing on what it is that you do not want and shift your focus.  Turn your attention to what you absolutely do want. The negative feelings alerted you that you were focusing on what you don’t want NOW you have the  opportunity to clarify exactly what it is that you DO what.

‘I want to be rich! I am brave! I am strong! I am learning to maintain my ideal weight or I can weigh X’, I am in charge. I accept responsibility for my life! I am in control! I make things happen! I am happy! I love life!’

You turn your back on what you don’t want and aim your thoughts, like a laser beam, at what you want to create. You return your focus to the positive, the optimistic, that happy thoughts and feelings.

You have an internal guidance system. An internal GPS that loudly lets you know when you have gone off course and when you need to turn back the other way. The negative feelings are useful to help you clarify. To specify precisely what you do want to include in your life. They help you get detailed about who you want to be, what you want to do and what exactly you want to have.

Never fear them, instead welcome them and embrace them. They alert you so you don’t travel too far in the wrong direction. Most people misunderstand negative emotions and when they arise they fight them. They resist them which causes them to persist. The go further down the dark tunnel by thinking and feeling more of the same.

You don’t have to when you recognize them for what they are. Then you can allow them and use them. Then you can turn your back and focus on what you want and the negative emotion is no longer an issue. UNTIL the next time you go astray.

Isn’t it wonderful that you have an internal means that allows you to get back on track? The more intense the feelings  whether positive or negative the quicker and easier you’re going to be able to make positive change.

The more you feel wonderful, the longer you feel blessed and joyful the quicker you bring about the changes you seek. As soon as you are alerted that you are off track and no longer thinking or feeling wonderful IS when you deliberately change your thoughts and feelings back to the best you have.

This practice of correcting course when you go off is precisely what you want to make a habit of. You want to keep returning to the positive, powerful, joyful feelings. You are training your mind so this is a great habit to develop!!!

Be thankful you have emotions that signal you. They let you know whether you are getting closer or further away from you goal. Use them as the indicators they are. Be thankful and grateful you have these. Celebrate you have an internal signaling system. When you appreciate how well you work you will work even more smoothly! Enjoy the process!” Rex Sikes

Have a great day!

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Are You Aimed For Failure Or Towards Happiness And Success!

worry takes away today's peace

“Why don’t we get things right away? Why do we some people give up on their goals? Will we ever make it? You may have questions about succeeding and about happiness and your goals. Questions are important. Asking the RIGHT questions is even more important!

Some people ask, ‘why do bad things always happen to me?’ or ‘how come things never work out?’ or ‘how long will this take? These questions put your mind on a search for the answers to the questions you asked. Bad things happen because… nothing works out because… it will take a long time because…

You need to learn to ask questions that direct your mind to find positive answers that you can do something about. How quickly can I discover myself getting ahead? How soon can I find a solution? I wonder how delighted I’ll be when I discover things actually do work out for me in ways I may not, yet, understand? In how many different ways can I open myself up to all the good things life offers?

When we drive we aim the car where we want it to go. We look in the direction we want to travel in. The same thing is important when it comes to our goals and dreams and running our own brain. We need to look where we want to go. Otherwise, we get the same old results we have wanted to get away from.

Instead of seeing where you want to go, if you are looking at what you want to get away from you are missing out on moving forward. You can’t get ahead looking behind you. You don’t escape the bear chasing you by turning and looking at the bear. You must look to where you want to go and move to get there.

People, at times, accidentally crash there cars into thing because they inadvertently aim at what they want to avoid instead of aiming toward safety. The freeze and lock their attention on ‘oh no’ what they don’t want to hit. Then they hit it.

In race car driving they teach you to ‘aim away from the wall’. They have you practice by going around the course and then driving towards the wall. In order to not hit the wall you have to force yourself to turn your head away from the wall and look to the area of safety.

This causes you to steer toward safety. It is counterintuitive and it takes training to get people to look away from the wall. It doesn’t develop as a skill overnight but requires rigorous effort. You have to make it a reliable habit, a first response, in order to survive. You must aim towards safety by looking away from the wall!

We don’t find peace focused on war and violence. We don’t find love looking for hate. We don’t run our brains for success focused on fear and failure. We don’t find happiness complaining about what is wrong. We don’t find wealth worried about bills and lack. We have to literally turn our attention toward what we want in order to get it.

We have to turn our attention toward what we want and maintain our attention there in order to get it! We become what we think about most during the day. We have to stay focused on what is important to us and not be distracted by events and less than glorious results or circumstances.

Keep your focus where it needs to be. Aim towards what you want and keep your focus there. Do not compare, do not fear, do not doubt, do not keep checking but keep your focus on what you want to create for yourself. That is how you end up getting it. As I just said, what you think about most is what you get and what you become!” Rex Sikes

Have an incredible day!

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Are Your Habits Creating Success Or Failure?

the choice to have a great attitude

“Success and happiness is a matter of habit. So is failure and defeat. Either your habits support you and uplift you or they don’t. You get whatever you think about most. You get back whatever you do most.

You need to ensure that you have the right habits to get what you want.  You can’t succeed easily if you have the habit of defeated thinking and feeling. If your habits don’t support you YOU MUST develop new habits to replace the ones that work to keep you down.

You rarely get what you want if you are not the person in charge of your own thinking. You might be lucky once in a while but most often you are like a cork bobbing in the water. You are drifting. Sometimes things work out sometimes they don’t.

The only way to insure more consistent results is to put yourself in charge and take 100% responsibility for everything that happens good or bad. You may not like this idea but once you completely accept this notion you come into your true power.

You stop blaming. You stop putting the causes for your success or failure outside of yourself. It is accurate that there are outside influences on you but you are the one who decides how you will respond. Circumstances are neutral until you decide whether they are positive or negative.

A true person of power can celebrate during the greatest disasters and in the face of calamity. When you can be delighted and celebrate regardless of what is going on around you or to you YOU are not a fool. You are a victor because you do not let things bring you down

You determine how you will feel. You are in charge. You are powerful and positive. You created successful thought habits.

From this seat of power you are a creator. Because you feel good in spite of circumstances you are able to more readily recognize opportunity and take advantage in ANY situation. Consider this example, successful people know how to make money in any economic climate. Making money for them is habit.

Many make their most money when times are bad. It isn’t the situation that should dictate you, rather you should dictate how you take advantage of any situation. When things don’t work out they way you may have hoped learn what you can from the experience.

When you have the mental attitude that you are in charge no matter what you make things happen. When you have the attitude that no matter what you are blessed and lucky all the time then you open yourself to have a most incredible life. When you can be happy and celebrate regardless of circumstances life is delicious.

To be the victor you must tell your mind what you want over and over again. There is no end to it. Repetition creates habit. Correct repetition creates the correct habit. Persistence is necessary in order to get what you want. It is simple YOU become what you think about day and night.

The subconscious mind will accept any statement that you keep repeating to it through words and by any other means. You affirm what you want in an emotional state of highly charged positive feelings. Intense feeling accompanying your thoughts, (internal images) and your self-talk (affirmations) IS what makes it work.

Repeat your affirmations and visualizations (as suggested in previous posts) in a state of enthusiasm backed up by faith and the subconscious mind acts more quickly. Faith is a state of mind wherein whatever it is you are going to do, whatever it is you want, you can see it already in a finished act even before you begin.

You can do whatever you make up your mind to do unless you give away your power along the way. Feel blessed, celebrate, be enthusiastic and joyful no matter what. Have faith that you will make happen what you want to happen regardless of whatever life throws at you. Make these a habit and nothing can hold you back!

Know you will find a way even if you don’t know what that way is at this moment. It will become obvious to you as you move forward. Have faith! Believe in yourself. Then what you want is taken over by the subconscious an acted upon immediately.  Stay with it, never give up and you will get what you want. Act from your power.

Define your chief purpose. Write it out so that you clarify it, understand it an memorize it. Start repeating it day in and day out. See it in your mind’s eye as already accomplished. Celebrate and enjoy! Say thank you all through out your day! Delight in all moments and you will discover so much more!

The more you think positive and the more you feel good the quicker and easier the process becomes. The faster you make it a reliable habit. The faster and easier you make things happen because you create momentum. Keep repeating this process until your subconscious mind picks it up and automatically works on it. This is how you make success a habit!” Rex Sikes

Have a fantastic  day!

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