Tag Archives: Positive Thinking

Affirmations, Attitude, Creating The Future, Definite Chief Purpose, Directed Questions™, Emotions, Energy, Focus, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Happiness, Intentional Thinking, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Self Improvement, Self Talk

The Secret Successful People Know: How You Ask ‘Why’ Determines Your Success Or Failure!

Leave a comment

horizon rainbow field

“Did you know that questions direct your mind? They do. When you ask a question, of yourself, your mind goes on a search to find experiences and answers. It looks in a broad way for classes of experiences and multiple examples to fulfill the request.

Questions are tricky because you may not even be aware that you asked one or more. When conversing with another you know you asked a  question. I’m concerned right now with the questions you ask yourself in your self-talk. These questions you  may be asking all day long and not even aware of it.

What You Ask Yourself And Others Is Critical

We grew up often having to answer accusatory questions such as: ‘why did you do that?’ ‘Why do you always do that?’ ‘Why can’t I count on you?, ‘Why are you naughty?’ and many more like these. If you ask a child, why the child is good or why the child is bad you will get two different answers and sets of feelings.

If you ask the child, why are you good? The child has to think about that, find examples of being good, feeling good, doing the ‘right’ thing. You could ask, ‘in how many ways are you good’, or ‘how do you always know to do the right thing’, or ‘isn’t it wonderful to be good’, or ‘why do you enjoy feeling good?’ Notice how the child feels and responds.

These questions direct our mind, and the child’s to explore and find answers. The bottom line is we may never actually know ‘why’ but we still come up with answers, reasons and experiences. The questions we were asked and we ask of ourselves subsequently helped to form our self image. Who we are and the quality of our life is determined by the questions we ask of ourself.

Questions Direct Your Mind To Find Examples And Reasons

Ask the child, why are you bad? The child goes through the same process but feels quite different. Ask the child this enough times and the child begins to identify with the feelings, the reasons and the question itself.  The brain traveling the same neural pathways repeatedly becomes habituated. Whenever an issue arises the resulting feelings and conclusions are, ‘it must be because I am bad’.

It could be any other reason as well or in addition to. It could be because I am:  fat;  unlovable; stupid; uncaring; slow; unhealthy; poor; unlucky; un-coordinated; frivolous; cautious; risky; small; weak; tall; boy; girl; young; old, I don’t know how; it is too hard; I’ve never done it before. The list of reasons why is endless.

We grew up being blamed and then blaming ourselves. We tried to escape the blame by diverting it. We learned quickly to  accuse others, or things or circumstances. We made up reasons even if we were not sure what the truth of the matter actually was. This became chronic in many, if not most of, us. It is habit and we find ourselves doing the same today without thinking. It is automatic!

The Questions You Ask Determine Whether You Succeed Or Fail

The questions, the silent ones, we ask ourselves are insidious and difficult to recognize. We utter them on the inside or under our breath. ‘Why me?’ ‘Why do things always suck?’ How come I never get a break?’ ‘Why does s/he always treat me this way?’ ‘Will I never get ahead?’ Recognize any of these or variations?

What makes it critical is you are directing your mind in damaging ways. You aren’t helping yourself. You are harming yourself. These questions are habitual. Chronic. You ask them before realizing you are thinking them. You have done it forever. It is time to stop it!

Asking questions like these aren’t making you feel better nor do they improve the quality of your life. When you focus your mind on the very things you want to avoid you end up creating more of the same.

You become what you think about most during the day. You get what you focus on. You brain delivers you multiple reasons and examples per your request. Your inner world creates your outer world. It starts with the mind and your feelings (body and mind being part of the same) and affects your actions.

Questions And Thinking Produces Feelings

Here is a bet for you. If you are asking yourself, unproductive, crappy questions that lead you to find examples and reasons you are broken, bad and feeling unworthy and terrible IT IS A BET you are asking your children and your loved ones the same types of questions. You ask the same of everyone around you. Bet on it!

It makes sense someone asked them of you. If you want your kids and loved ones to feel better and grow up confident and capable ask them the kind of questions that serve to do that. Help direct their mind and help them learn to direct their own mind in positive, powerful, productive, optimistic ways. Help them become a Can Do person not a Can’t Do person. Keep this in mind!

If you are asking, ‘why you are so unlucky’ you are not creating luck! If you are asking ‘how can I get out of debt’ you are focused on debt. If you are asking ‘why you can’t lose wait’ you are focused on being fat. If you are saying, ‘I want a non-smoker’ you are focused on smoking or people who smoke and how you don’t want one of those.

You may think you are being positive but you are thinking the opposite! You are NOT thinking and getting what you think you are. I don’t want to think of a green spotted cow right now. Oooops too late! You don’t get healthy focusing on illness. You don’t get rich trying to get out of debt. You don’t become better off thinking about and asking why you aren’t

What Are You Focused On?

You get healthy focused on health. You get rich focused on riches and abundance. You are already getting whatever you are focused on. Do you get this, yet? Whatever you predominantly hold in your mind is why you feel, behave and have what you have. Good or bad. If you results, circumstances, events in your life suck trace it back to the direct link WHAT YOU ARE THINKING AND ASKING ABOUT!

Whatever you hold in your mind’s eye, whatever you ask about, whatever you concentrate on, whatever you entertain or stew over is what you bring about. Ideas become things. Thoughts become things. Your life is a direct result of the kind of mindset you have! To change the life you have you must first change your mindset. You must ask better questions and thing better thoughts about what you DO want. Make sure it is what you want to include!

You don’t just sit in your room dreaming and wishing for these things. You are not hoping for a new life and doing nothing about it. What I propose is that you learn a powerful way to aim your mind at what it is you want so you are better equipped and more quickly able to get it. YOU make it happen. You align your thoughts and positive feelings then the actions you take come from these.

You align your mindset with what you want. Get this critical area straight first. Decide what you want and you keep your mind on it. Imagine how wonderful it is to be in possession of what you want and you feel these incredible feelings. If you are feeling wonderful as you think about what you want you are on the RIGHT track. If you don’t feel good that is a SIGNAL you are on the WRONG track.

You can monitor your thoughts by how you are feeling moment to moment. The goal is to feel the best most of the time you are awake. That is the key. Then with this mindset and wonderful feelings you do what is necessary to make your dreams come true. Your mindset precedes your actions.

IF your self-image/mindset sucks your actions will too. You won’t do the right things with the wrong thinking! Get your thinking right and everything else will fall into place.

You Can’t Escape The Power Of Your Thoughts

When your thinking is correct, you will be aware of opportunity and possible advantages and create a road map. You begin to see in new and clearer ways. Just as when you buy yourself a brand new watch, or blouse or car and suddenly you begin spotting those same items around you. You will become aware of new opportunities, events, and people to include in your life.

You need to know where you want to end up. You work to get there Along the way you may have to make adjustments and take detours. Obstacles and challenges may arise. Learn from these and keep heading toward your ultimate destination. Never give up and you will succeed.

If you build your house in sand or use faulty building materials your house will never stand for long. It will collapse. The same is true if your goals and dreams aren’t built with the proper mindset. When you build a strong foundation with positive, powerful thinking you can do anything.

Your Questions And Thoughts Serve You Or They Don’t

Think right and you will be unstoppable. Thing wrong and you will not get very far, if you get anywhere at all. What you think about is what you get and become. Manage what you think about. Ask yourself better questions that direct your mind into what you want to be, feel, do and have. I began using my Directed Questions™ by 1980 and it is powerful.

Spend your time thinking, ‘How come I am so lucky? ‘In how many different ways am I fabulous?’ Why do things always work out right for me?’ What are the best feelings I can feel today?’ How many smiles can I discover throughout this morning?’ ‘Why do I always wake up feeling wonderful?’ ‘Which of the many incredible feelings I have will I experience first today?’

Make Changes More Easily By Asking The Right Questions

‘How quickly can I notice myself feeling even more delighted?’ How much fun can I have today?’ ‘In how many different ways can I discover myself amazed and feeling blessed with all the good things I have in life? Ask questions like these again and again all day long. YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE! Invent your own and keep asking!

Successful people know how to use their mind. They know what they think, how they think and how they ask for things makes the critical difference. You can be successful too when you first learn to think successfully! Think positive. Affirm and have faith. Love yourself and your current life, celebrate and be thankful and you will move forward swiftly. Plants take time to bloom just as it takes time to build a house.

Ultimately, you will be, and do and have anything you want because you targeted it, aimed at it and never lost sight of it. You came, you saw, you conquered! Be a champion. Think like a champion and you will live like a champion!” Rex Sikes

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so. If you benefit from these words please help someone else benefit too.

PSS I have discussed how to make changes more easily using questions throughout these blog posts. You can search by topic and find some. A great thing to do is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Delight in today to the utmost!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS  

*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Attitude, Beliefs, Confidence, Creating The Future, Emotions, Energy, Focus, Gratitude, Happiness, Intentional Thinking, Joy, Law Of Attraction, Living In The Moment, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Self Improvement

Stop Getting What You Don’t Want! Start Getting What You Want!

Leave a comment

horizon blue sky eagle and flowers

“Are you tired of not having what you want? Does it sometimes feel like you are doing everything you can but getting nowhere? If you look around you have you gotten what you want or have you gotten what you do not want?

How are the results in your life? How are your present circumstances? What and how are you feeling? Is your life filled with joy and happiness no matter what is going on or are you mostly down and out? Maybe, it isn’t a matter of anything being bad, it is that, it is just ‘okay’.

If You Aren’t Excited By The Life You Are Living

You can be. It means making some changes. I can’t emphasize this enough.

Use your imagination for a moment. Think of yourself as a magnet. Imagine that you attract everything. You are responsible for your life conditions. Everything you have or don’t have is completely up to you. Imagine this. There is no one else or anything else responsible but you. YOU attract everything.

Some do not believe this. Others do. Whether you think it so or you don’t believe it, this is how it works. We live in a universe based on attraction. You attract what you want and you attract what you don’t want. It doesn’t matter. You get what you focus on.

You And I Create What We Want

We make happen what we want or don’t want but the word ‘attract’ works for me too.

Like moths to a flame we do seem to attract other like minded people, events and circumstances depending on what we are feeling. When we are on top of the world we seem to ride the top of the wave and when we are crestfallen so is much of the world around us.

You may protest the thought. You might even exclaim, ‘but I know exactly what I don’t want and I don’t want it!’

If you state a loud ‘NO!’ to what you don’t want you are not actually pushing it away or getting rid of it. You are inadvertently adding energy to it. You get whatever you are focused on good or bad right or wrong. The universe doesn’t care. The Law Of Attraction (LOA) doesn’t care.

Whatever you hold predominantly in your mind is what you attract. If you want to be, do or have anything you can then you must focus on and energize what you do want to the exclusion of all else. It is similar to using a flashlight in a dark room.

Whatever You Illuminate Is What You See

In this case, whether you want it or not, whatever you put energy into is what you get back.

You can’t look at mounting bills, feel poor and expect to be rich. Your thoughts and feelings are keeping you poor. You can’t be thinking ‘I am so sick’ and expect to be healthy. Our thoughts do seem to make up our reality. There is a reason for this.

Our brain doesn’t know the difference between a memory, a real event or an imagined one. What you recall, observe or create in your mind, if it isn’t what you want it, will be what you end up with. In order to get what you want you must see what you want.

You Must Hold It In Your Minds Eye

You want it faster you must energize it more, feel good about it and think about it more often.

It works this way. You attract and create whatever you put your energy into. If you put little or no energy into creating it you don’t get it. If you put energy into the wrong things that is what you get. If you put energy into the right things that is what you get. If you put lots of energy into the right things you can get it sooner.

Look around. Your life is a reflection of your dominant thoughts. If you don’t like what you see change your thoughts and you change your life.

There is a simple guide you can use. Typically, when you think about what you do not want, what you want to avoid or exclude from your life you feel angst. You feel frustrated, sad, mad or simply less than glorious. When you think about what you want, what makes you happy, what you want to include more in your life you feel good.

Consider for the purpose of discussion there are only two emotions. One is good the other is bad. Just as there is positive or negative, up or down, hot or cold. This makes using the guide real easy. If you feel good, great, wonderful you are on the right track to getting, making happen or attracting what you want. If you feel bad you are not.

Negative thoughts and feelings are a signal you are off track. They are signals you are focused on what you do not want. Stop, turn your back on it, drop it, let it go, forget about it and start thinking and focusing on what you do want. You want to feel the best and be focused on what you want so that is what you make happen.

You Are Creating Your Future Each Moment

It is the process of becoming based on how you are feeling. How you live this instant, this moment, determines how you will live in the next moment. Right now makes up then!

The more often you feel good the better your present and future will be. Feel prosperous, feel healthy, feel happy, feel wealthy, feel grateful and you become these. Whatever you feel is what you attract and create. This makes it very easy to remember.

Whatever you think about AND FEEL most of the day is what you get!

What you think and feel and manifest is always a match. Your predominant feelings are what you attract. So feel your best as often as you can. I have written about what to do when you can’t feel your finest in previous blogs. Be sure to go back and read through these if that is an issue. Read through the posts anyway it will help in all areas.

Happy Creating! Happy Attracting!

Not everyone believes it, but it makes perfect sense. When you think and feel your finest, your resourcefulness and your actions are congruently aligned. Your head and your heart are clear and you are at your most powerful and your most attractive.

Confident people are drawn to other confident, able, Can-Do people. It works like this. Plus, you are better able to recognize and take advantage of opportunity. You feel alive, energized, capable and unstoppable! Your attitude determines your altitude.

From this place of well-being you can become, do and have anything you want. It all makes sense at a very practical level. When you are ‘right’ things go right! Make your life what you want it to be!” Rex Sikes

Delight today!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS  

*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Creating The Future, Focus, Habit Formation, Intentional Thinking, Positive Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Positive Thoughts, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Visualization

What To Do When You Can’t Stop Obsessing!

Leave a comment

horizon red bench in snow

“Have you ever been bothered by a thought that seems unrelenting?No matter how many times you tried not to think about it the thought persisted.

That can be really tough when we want to stop thinking about certain things but cannot, wouldn’t you agree. Would you like to learn how you can change this?

In my workshops and seminars through the past decades I would point out the way we think and remember things. Most of us can do this quite easily. If you want to learn,  I invite you to play along and notice what happens.

In workshops I speak this out loud while participants close their eyes, follow along and notice. It’s most effective if instead of reading I could ask you to close your eyes while I speak, but it will have  to suffice for you read along and imagine. You can still easily do it. JUST really, do what I suggest.

I am going to say (write) some words and I want you to notice what comes to mind and how. TAKE YOUR TIME and fully do the exercise as much as possible.

Okay, ready, here we go:

What do you think of, when I write, or say,the word DOG?

THINK of one!

Did you think of one? Notice what dog comes to mind. If you didn’t go ahead and do so now. What kind of dog did you think of? Was it a specific dog? Whose dog is or was it, where and when. Did you just see a dog or did you remember being with a particular dog?

ALL answers are correct answers since there is no right or wrong.

Just notice. What did you notice?

Okay,  next example:

What happens or changes when I say, WET DOG.

Think about it a moment. Did you see the same or different dog? What changed from when I first ask you to think of a dog. Notice whatever you notice.  Take your time don’t rush. Notice as much as you are able about this image or memory.

Next example:

Okay, what happens when I angrily shout loudly, BAD DOG!

What changed? Notice what you notice. Take your time to describe it.

What were you able to remember or see in each example.

For some people they see ‘A’dog at first. It might be a random dog or their favorite type of dog. It could be their dog.

Typically, the dogs become more personalized with the adjectives placed in front.  Most people see something different in each case. Most people remember personal instances with WET and BAD. It could be the same or different dog at the same or different times.

Some recall with very much detail. It doesn’t matter whether this occurred or not. Much of it depends on whether you like or dislike dogs or spent any amount of time around dogs. This is part of our ability to recall and remember.

Ways Of Seeing: Remembered And Constructed

We also have the ability to see or imagine that which never existed before. We can create. We have the ability to put things together in unique ways that they are not likely to exist as is. Either way we are able to construct. I am going to ask you to imagine along here too.

Dive in and enjoy the exercise. I will be putting together things you mostly know and could recognize, with some variation thrown in. You’ll see. Alright, are you ready? Read the description and then close your eyes and do it.

I’d like you to imagine, right now, a purple elephant flying over your head, in the sky, with a monkey on it’s back waving a yellow cowboy hat yelling,’Yipee, yipee!’ Can you do this? Great go ahead and continue to imagine the purple flying elephant with the monkey on its back over head.

Good. Most see this quite easily. Now see it again. Imagine the purple elephant swooping and flying and circling with the monkey on it’s back all over above you. Watch it do loops and see it’s flight path, notice the landscape.

NOW STOP thinking of purple elephant and monkey. Don’t think about the flying purple elephant and the monkey wearing the yellow hat. Put it out of your mind.

Got you! It is very difficult. Actually, it’s impossible to not think about something. Did you notice?

BUT if you begin to imagine green and orange striped pigs dancing up and down the hillsides, rolling around, having a blast, singing ‘Happy Birthday’  playfully tossing gold and silver stars and flowers about.

You will forget about the elephant and monkey.

The mind works this way. If you say don’t or do not or try not to think of something you will think about it. Why, because in order to not think about it you have to first know what you don’t want to think about.

Don’t Don’t Work

When you tell a child, ‘Don’t spill!’ In order for the child to understand what you mean the child must first remember what it means TO SPILL. It is likely, sometime after saying, ‘Don’t Spill’ we follow up with, ‘I told you not to spill’.

Our brains don’t handle negatives. We don’t or can’t or won’t. Instead we do or can or will. Keep that in mind whenever you try to stop yourself from thinking about something. You may not be very successful. WHAT YOU CAN DO is think of something else!!!

What You Resist Persists

You can’t oppose it and shut it off. It doesn’t work like that. You have to redirect your thinking. You have to distract it by thinking other thoughts. Yes, with annoying thoughts you may have to redirect over and over. Especially, at first but if you keep doing it you learn how to do it.

Whenever you dwell on unwanted thoughts or obsess about them they will take over your life. We can’t shut off negative thoughts but we can chose to think about something else. We think positive thoughts instead. I write about in this blog many times the need to learn to direct back toward center.

You can’t ‘not’ want to. You can’t shut them off easily but you can choose to redirect your thinking to other more productive and positive thoughts. If you choose to think positive thoughts your life will become much better. So much better you will be amazed!

I use the example, of how, when we drive down the center of a lane we actually make micro-corrections all along. We adjust the wheel left and right continuously to keep going straight.

Direct And Redirect Your Thoughts

This is what we do while we learn to gain control control of our thinking. We steer back to the positive thought again and again. Anything done repeatedly long enough becomes a habit. You will learn the habit of managing your thoughts with some effort.

It takes a little while and it gets easier and easier. You gain more control and then what used to bother you no longer does as much. In time you learn how to better handle it.

Eventually you get to the point where you can go on in spite of it or it no longer has any pull. Ultimately, you succeed. So stop resisting and start acquiring new positive habits that serve you reliably, as the old ones did, but that are much better for you.

It is amazing how powerful and well this works. Yes, it does require discipline and persistence. Anything  you currently think or do that bothers you that you would like to change is already a habit. It has been developed in the past and serves you reliably all along.

Develop New Positive Habits

Even if it is unwanted it is something you have learned to do. Might as well congratulate yourself on being a good learner because criticizing yourself is not likely to be effective. My guess, you have already been doing that to no avail. Time to change. Embrace it and then move on.

One more thing. Since it is not very effective to stop thinking about something. Don’t think of a flying purple elephant… Realize this. You just did what you didn’t want to do! You thought of a flying purple elephant with a monkey on its back…

Okay enough, enough! BUT do you get it? You can’t think of what you don’t want and not get it. Did you understand that? If you represent what you don’t want (don’t spill) you are likely to get precisely what you don’t want.

Some people, I was, are great at getting exactly what they don’t want. ‘I don’t want a smoker’, ‘I don’t want to be broke’ , ‘I don’t want to be fat’. Instead, and one of the many reasons I write this blog, you have to know exactly what you DO want. You must think and say what you want to include in your life not what you want to exclude.

Why You Must Focus On What You Want

This is why we focus on the positive. The brain works this way! It delivers to you whatever you imagine strongly enough. Whatever you think of accompanied by strong feelings and emotions the brain takes as a command to bring about. If you are primarily focused on what you don’t want that is precisely what you will end up with.

That or something worse. If you are primarily focused on what you DO want you will end up with that or something better as long as you continue to think this way.

This is why it is said, we become what we think about! Whatever we focus on expands. We bring about what we think about. So know what you want and stay focused on it. Steer back to  center whenever you have to. Am I getting through?

Think And Speak Only Of What You Want

Final point before, I leave for today. ALWAYS, only think and speak about what you want to create or have. Only think and speak about what you want to include in your life to yourself and others. Manage your self-talk and your talk.

Think only and say only that which you wish to become come true. Never confess that which you don’t want. Keep your focus aimed at what you want to bring about. Put a guard before your mind and lips.

Develop this as a habit and you will discover life is so much more amazing than you can imagine right now. You absolutely can manage and direct your thoughts, not only for relief, but for transformation.

You have no idea, none of us do, the immense, incredible power inside of you, which if you could discover and use would make you everything you ever dreamed of or imagined you could be.” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!!!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS  

*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Act As If, Affirmations, Confidence, Creating The Future, Definite Chief Purpose, Directed Questions™, Faith, Focus, Habit Formation, Happiness, Intentional Thinking, Mental Movie Theater, Personal Development, Positive Affirmations, Rehearsal And Practice, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Success, Visualization

One Quality You Must Have To Be Happy & Succeed!

4 Comments

horizon lake sunrise

“Do wishy washy people appeal to you? Isn’t it frustrating when a person is overly timid and will not say what the person wants? It is equally unattractive when someone is aggressive, isn’t it.  We don’t want to be around pushy, rude or threatening people either.

There are many desirable qualities to have in order to be happy and for success. One quality definitely required is assertiveness. An assertive person is neither aggressive nor passive.

Assert What You Want

Assertive is defined as confident or self confident, decisive, assured or self assured, forthright, firm, and emphatic. It means you are NOT aggressive or pushy or demanding. It means you are not cowering, afraid or too timid. It means you know what you want and can say so.

The word assured means reliable, dependable, certain, sure and secure. These qualities are ones you may need more of and that you can learn to acquire.  It is a great thing to be dependable!

When you are assertive it means you’re able to state your needs and desires confidently, in a straight forward manner, without apology. It means you are able to affirm what you want without being intimidating or threatening. You simply are confident, decisive, assured and forthright.

Be Confident And Assured You Will Make It Happen

You must be assertive to reach your goals.You must be assertive to achieve your definite chief aim or purpose. You must be assertive when it comes to making your life the way you want it to be. You cannot be wishy washy, and aggression will work against you. You must be firm, steadfast, committed and assured.

You need to know what you want. You must specify it and clarify it in your mind. You need to assert that you will get it. You believe it, you are confident and have faith you will accomplish it. You are reliable and dependable and secure in bringing it about. You think and speak what you want in positive terms and affirm this.

Affirm means to state as a fact, declare, assert, swear, vow, guarantee and pledge. It means you commit to making your goals and dreams come true and are willing to commit to it publicly. You don’t have to publicly announce your goals that isn’t the point.

Affirm It In Your Thoughts Words And Actions

It is probably wiser if you don’t. You don’t need naysayers or detractors or added pressure from peers or family. Just quietly but confidently go about creating what you want. Surprise everyone.

When you assert yourself you act with power. You are congruent in mind and body. You are at one with your purpose. You are totally aligned with what you want and your conviction that you will get it. You do not allow circumstances or others to intimidate or threaten you. You know you will see it through. Success is guaranteed!

So how do you become more assertive? The same way you become more of anything. You practice and you rehearse. You put it into motion and become it. You make being assertive a habit. That’s how you are currently the person you are. Only you did it without knowing you were doing it at the time. Now you do it with awareness and purpose!

You Are Already Who You Imagine Yourself To Be

First you become it in your mind. You imagine it in your mental movie theater. You see yourself acting assertively in situations. You imagine you already have it. If it is at first difficult to imagine yourself behaving differently look for positive role models who embody what you want.

That person could be someone you know who exemplifies it or it could be someone famous. Simply notice how they act and behave assertively and imagine you doing the same. Learn from their positive example. Leave out any personal characteristics that are not you. For example, they speak with an accent and you don’t. So don’t do it.

Use the inner theater daily, 5, 10, 20 minutes at a time, the more often and more time you can spend, at first, the more efficient you will become at doing this. Time can then be reduced. More importantly, do enough to be effective and not so much you quit. Make the time you spend manageable and enjoyable.

See yourself as an assertive person. Live your life knowing what you want, speaking it, without intimidating, but confidently, assured and positive. Notice how you look and sound. Notice how it feels to imagine this and enjoy the good feelings. Affirm this.

Make Affirmations Part Of Your Daily Thoughts And Activities

State positively that ‘I know what I want’, ‘I get what I want’, ‘I can always find a way to make it happen’ and other positive declarations. You can also phrase these as ‘You know what you want. You can make it happen.’ You can also put your own name in place of ‘I’ or ‘You’. All three are worthwhile to do.

Ask Directed Questions™ such as, ‘I wonder how delighted I will be to discover myself feeling more confident throughout each day? How much fun will it be to be more assertive in daily activities? How quickly and easily will I begin to notice, more and more each day, that I feel assured and positive that I will make my dreams come true?’

The key here is to ask open ended questions that direct your mind to what you want to have more of in your life. You want to be assertive, yes, and delighted, and notice changes, and have it easily and more quickly. So you direct your mind through positive questions.

The use of questions and affirmations help you to visualize. The point of visualizing is to create the feelings of what it feels like to already be what you want to be and have what you want to have. Together, these are a prime directive your subconscious mind gets.

Instruct Your Subconscious Mind As To What You Want

You live it first in your mind, feeling it and as you do you become it more and more in your behaviors. From within to without. Imagine it and you can become it. We become what we think about most during each day. What we think about we bring about!

Discover opportunities to clarify what you want and state it. There are numerous times throughout the day you can assert yourself. Remember to speak only in ways that bless, heal and prosper yourself and others. (See my previous posts about this). For example, act more assertive when you are ordering coffee.

Tell the individual taking your order firmly and politely what you want. Thank them. Don’t ask if you can have one, of course you can. You are paying for it. Be nice and state what you want. Practice this. Be sure to say thank you and smile. A smile shows you are friendly and you are confident.

You do the same with your goals in your mental movie theater. You first decide what you want. Stated in positive terms. Avoid stating what you don’t want. You may use what you don’t want to guide you into clarifying what you do want. Imagine yourself already in possession of it. Feel all the wonderful feelings. Savor them!

Imagine You Already Are The Person You Want To Become

Repeat daily and often throughout the day. Soon you will discover it becomes easier and easier and your behavior conforms to the image you have in your mind. Guess what, your behavior already has conformed to whatever image you have had in your life. If you don’t like the results change that inner image into a more positive and better one.

Who you are on the inside is who you are on the outside. If you want your life to change you will have to change things in your life. You must start with your own self image. You must start by evolving and updating you. You can be happier, you will have more personal and professional success as you imagine a happier and more successful you.

Make this a habit and you will be more readily able to change other habits along the way. You will become confident and secure in getting your goals. You WILL make them happen because YOU can make them happen. You will live knowing that you have the power within you to create the kind of life you want for yourself and love ones.” Rex Sikes

Have a thrilling day!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS  

*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Affirmations, Attitude, Beliefs, Confidence, Creating The Future, Definite Chief Purpose, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Goals, Intentional Thinking, Overcoming Difficulty, Patience, Persistence, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Success

What You Do While Waiting To Succeed Is Critical!

5 Comments

horizons pasture pathway

“Have you ever planted a garden? Have you ever tended to living, growing plants? As a child in school or as an adult did you help grow anything? Did you germinate seeds? Do you remember the process? Do you recall the time it took? You had to wait, didn’t you? Whether you liked it or not you had to wait.

People are in a hurry. They want everything fast and they want it yesterday. Well, some things just take time.  For everything there is as season. You just have to endure winter when it is upon you. It still takes the same amount of time whether you like it or not.

Patience Is How You Wait When You Have To Wait

How you go through it though makes the difference. Summer is shorter typically because we enjoy it more. Most of us. If we enjoy something time seems to go by quickly. Too quick. The key to being patient, when you have to, is HOW you spend your time.

If you are having fun and enjoying it will go by quickly. If you are counting the days and comparing the distance between now and then it will seem to take forever. Waiting is completely dependent on you and how you wait. If you are desperate it sucks. If you are fulfilled while you wait it is a breeze.

Growing up as an actor in Hollywood I discovered everyone wants to ‘break through’ to ‘hit it’ to become an ‘overnight sensation’ this moment. Especially teens and twenty somethings. At that age we want it all!  In the film business, most everyone comes to realize, an overnight success takes between 10 and 15 years.

You Cannot Rush It You Cannot Push A Rope

It is not just a saying. It is a reality. Few pop. Most take years and years. Exceptions are child stars. Look at anyone’s credits on imdb and you will see most started with uncredited roles or one liners and worked hard at it, for years, before you or I ever heard of them. They put in years worth of work before anyone noticed. During that time countless thousands of others gave up.

Those who keep at it usually have success of some kind. Those who quit, well, they quit. If you stop and give up, then you stopped. If you keep going you can prevail. Being patient doesn’t mean you don’t do anything while waiting it means you keep moving forward and keep the faith. What you think and do while you wait is critical!

You have to believe in yourself and what you want. You have to keep faith in your ability to accomplish what you set out to do.  You have to know in your heart that you will make it happen in spite of the odds and the time it takes. You have to know that you can do it and will do it!

Don’t Give Up If You Want To Succeed Keep At It

There will be obstacles, set backs and temporary defeat but if you keep at it you can accomplish it. You can and you will!

Did you know that most successful people nearly gave up just prior to gaining their success? Did you know that prior to ‘popping’ most experienced their biggest ‘failures’?  They were nearly crushed and threw in the towel. Those who did not went on to success.

Did you know the first million seems the toughest to make? Do you know Researchers like Napoleon Hill, going back over 100 years ago discovered this and it remains true today. It always seems darkest right before the dawn. Out of chaos and calamity stars are born!

Stay Focused Stay Purposed Stay Passionate And Have Fun

Any worthy purpose takes time to come into being. Be absolutely clear on what you want and you absolutely want it no matter what. If you believe in yourself that you can make it happen then you can find legitimate means to bring it to pass. Stay focused! Stay purposed! Stay Passionate!

When you plant seeds they germinate. The seed must crack open and send out shoots into prepared soil where it can grow in the cover of darkness for however long it takes. It takes time and we can’t see it. We have to believe all is well and make sure it gets nourished. Then one day it breaks forth from the ground a tiny plant.

With continued nourishment it can continue to grow. Depending on what you planted it could be a flower, a food, or a giant tree. It all takes times. It takes whatever time it takes. Ultimately, it produces more seeds and the cycle continues. All the while we wait patiently there is activity. Their is growth and development.

Keep The Faith You Will Succeed 

Patience is a quality you have. It is HOW you wait. It means expect to win while you wait. It means do whatever is necessary knowing your efforts will pay off even if you can’t see the results today. Stay steady and stay consistent. Step by step you get there. Persist!

It means you can’t hurry or rush it. Take steps each day and nourish your success. Stick with it and you will make progress. What you planted you will one day reap. Don’t abandon your positive garden! How you wait is important! Affirm, acknowledge, stay positive.

Focus on the end result. You can glance at present circumstances or difficulty as you do your dash board indicators, while driving, but keep you eyes on the road ahead and keep faith in your heart. You may need to adjust your plans or take detours occasionally but keep on going. Know your destination and keep traveling to get there. You will. Be patient” Rex Sikes

Have a triumphant day!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS  

*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Acceptance, Attitude, Emotions, Energy, Faith, Friendship, Happiness, Love, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Relationships, Self Improvement, Smiling

What To Do When Hurting

Leave a comment

horizons fence post curved road

“Are you hurting? Have you been hurt, sad and disappointed? Do you know anyone who is grieving? How about family and friends who are down and out, things just aren’t working well for them and they could use some help? Know anyone like this? It could be you or someone else? It could be someone close to you or a stranger.

It is true we all have struggles. There are difficulties people face. Some manage better than others but the fact is that everyone at sometime has pain and suffering, hurt and loss. We all are human and there is a wide range of human emotions.

We need to understand that people hurt. Even people who have more than you or I, or who seem to have it all together face challenges. There are people more fortunate and less fortunate but it rains and shines on all.

Understand this and have more compassion. Understand that we all need a kind word from time to time, a hug, a look of understanding, or silent but present support. Some people want you to help fix it with them, or even for them. Others don’t want any help they just want you to stand with them and for them.

Sometimes we need to be quiet while people get it together at other times the may want, need or expect some encouragement. Most importantly, whether family or friend, or stranger all people need a true friend at times.

Open your heart to all people. Spread love and light around. Even if it is only in your positive imagination that is better than judgement and criticism. Wish people well. Send them kind thoughts and energy. Help them if you are able. Accept their suffering and allow them to be who they are without conditions.

When we understand we are all in it together we can discover more happiness for each of us. A rising tide lifts all boats. Pain passes as do joys. Tomorrow brings another day. Darkness precedes dawn. Day gives way to night. There are cycles too. Allow nature to take its course. Be patient. ‘This too will pass’.

Be sensitive. Be kind. Be tolerant and accepting. Be more welcoming and inviting. Open up and extend your kindness to everyone. Even those who you may have thought, in your past, that they didn’t deserve it. Transform yourself. When you include all others YOU transform because you become available. Be gentle and loving. Spread peace. Help make someone’s day a little easier.

If you are hurting the best way out is to help another who is hurting too. If you need help or a kind word allow yourself to ask for it. Be a friend to others and be a friend to yourself. Treat yourself as you would treat a loved one who is needing compassion. Love yourself!

Sometimes people just need a smile. Smile more today. Give a positive nod. Let people know you see them, they aren’t invisible. They count! Help make another person’s day more pleasant. Enjoy giving someone an emotional boost. Speak well, speak to bless, heal and prosper all. As you do this you will feel it!

Your heart will open more and you may experience all sorts of little joys and big ones you didn’t know possible. Delight in helping others delight! You will discover there is magic everywhere!” Rex Sikes

Have a great day!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS  

*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

 

Attitude, Blessings, Celebration, Creating The Future, Directed Questions™, Focus, Goals, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Healthy Choices, Intentional Thinking, Learning, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Rehearsal And Practice, Self Improvement, Unlimited Power

Learn The One Thing Guaranteed To Improve Your Life, Longevity & Happiness?

Leave a comment

horizons - daisys in foreground

“If there was one thing you could do that would improve your attitude, your mental health and even your physical health would you want to know what it is? Would you do it? Are you interested in maximizing your potential and the quality of your life? If you are please read on.

In my last blog I emphasized recognizing, acknowledging and appreciating your strengths, talents and abilities. Celebrate you good points and your strong ones. This is important for a couple of reasons.

Search Ask Questions

Your mental search and discovery is extremely useful. When you set your mind to look for the positive things about you you will find them.  This is precisely why asking better quality positive questions is so important. It is why I have recommended Directed Questions™ for so many years.

Unfortunately, many, if not most people, look for the negative. Don’t worry you will find those as well if you bother to look. Your mind will deliver whatever you focus on and it will deliver multiple examples. Birds of a feather flock together is a useful reminder.

It comes up with more that one answer because part of the way the mind works is by association. It finds relevant, similar examples to deliver. So you want good taste to prevail. You want to be smart about what you search for. Search for what you want to find.

When you search for positive, strengths and abilities you will find them. If you are one of the few who can’t seem to remember many examples at first just keep looking. Keep asking ‘what am I good at?’ ‘what is something else I am good at’ or ‘what other things am I good at?’ Continue to probe and to prod and the answers will soon come.

Reflect And Review

Think about how you interact with people.  What you do in the form of activities, work and play? Where you spend time?  What you know or are knowledgeable about? Sometimes finding the answers comes from adjusting the question or a word.

For those who think, I am not good at anything (because their use of good represents too high of a standard) they may have to  first think about those things they do well at or just better than other things. You may have to keep asking in different ways. In actual use getting answers back from your own brain is pretty darn easy. Keep asking!

Focus on the type of answers you want. What you excel at or in. These constitute resources you have from your past. They are your strong points that you can apply in your present or future. They are things about yourself to celebrate and appreciate. They are part of you and your history. They are your present and your future too.

Remembering and counting these as blessings can help you feel better and be more positive because you focus on your strengths. You set your mind thinking along intentional productive lines. You are more positive because you can find examples in your own history of things you succeed at or accomplish well.

Realize And  Recognize

Discover the many different areas you have strengths in and the many additional strengths you have yet to realize. Then keep doing it.  Keep doing it. Search, find, recognize, validate and celebrate!

The way to stay more youthful,  have more fun, feel better, think better and clearer is to keep learning new things. Learning is the key. It is the answer!  When you set out to learn something you establish a purpose or goal. Stay a perpetual learner. It keeps you healthier!

Do you want to be able to ski, to sew, to sell, to speak better. Whatever you want to learn you start off with no ability or not knowing how. You negotiate a learning curve all the while practicing or playing. As you continue you learn to get better or even good at it. You have set a goal and a direction to travel in. Then you traveled.

This is beneficial for many reasons. When you learn new things you have to engage in new behaviors, new thoughts, new  ways and different ways of understanding. You need to create new neural pathways. You add newness to your existing skill base.

Celebrate And Delight Be Happy

You actually grow your brain capacity by adding to the neural networks. As you learn and incorporate new abilities and overcome new challenges you keep your brain healthier because the brain loves challenges. It likes puzzles and things to do. It thrives on novelty and being used. You know the saying, use it or lose it.

Use your brain! Use your body to learn a variety of new things. Dedicate yourself to picking up new skills and talents. Have fun discovering other things you may enjoy doing and learning about. Read about them yes, but don’t just read about them get up and out and do them. Consider learning new things you never considered before. Learn on your own and with others. Take classes, get involved. Meet others!

Research has demonstrated that just learning fine finger motor skills such as playing keyboard and stringed instruments, or even finger movement exercises does much to improve overall cognition, keep the brain young and prevent dementia. Exercise and sports contribute to overall well-being and physical health when done properly. Learn new things to do! Get positive mental, emotional and physical stimulation.

Learn to sing, play piano, paint, ski, draw, act, or dance. Sit down and write a play, a script a novel. Learn computer programming or gaming. Take up filmmaking, photography, sports, biking, yoga, any form of art or crafts. Go for Formula 1 driving lessons. ANYTHING! Try crossword puzzles and board games like chess. Challenge yourself. There is so much to choose from. Never limit yourself! Get a coach or mentor!

Keep Learn New Skills Add To Your Strengths

You do not have to go skydiving. Certainly, you can but this isn’t about risk. It is about learning a new ability and adding it to your behavior repertoire. See my previous blogs about adding novelty to your daily routine. Your brain loves novelty. Spice up your days add in novelty. Do things a new and different way. Challenge yourself.

When you have a youthful brain, a positively focused brain, a happier you, you feel and act and behave healthier. You can be healthier too! When you align yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually you align physically too. Of course, learning to do healthy things and incorporate these into your daily routine helps as well.

Practice well being in mind, body and soul. Every day allows you the opportunity to learn or practice something. Each day you can discover new ways to improve yourself and others.  Continue to learn, grow and develop yourself and you can find so much more to be joyous and excited about.

It gives you something to look forward to. So look to your passions. Try things out. Explore and adventure for new things to add into your behavioral repertoire and you knowledge base. Have fun, skip, sing, dance, doodle, and enjoy finding out more of what you are good at. A flower either grows and blooms or withers and dies. Keep growing!” Rex Sikes

NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS  

*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

What wonderful things can you share, and with whom, today?

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

Acceptance, Affirmations, Attitude, Celebration, Curiosity, Emotions, Focus, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Learning, Personal Development, Rehearsal And Practice, Self Improvement, Success

It Is Important To Know What You Are Good At!

Leave a comment

Phil koch green sky grass and creek

“Is there something you are good at? Do you have a particular talent? Can you can sing, dance, act or make people laugh? Maybe you are good with people? How about numbers? Do you have a flair for interior design, engineering or mathematics? Perhaps, you are good at writing screenplays, stories, articles or letters.

Maybe you are good in science or at managing money? You could be a wonderful conversationalist or storyteller. What is your talent? What is your passion? Do you like photography, cinematography or making music? Do you paint, sculpt, draw or scribble?

Maybe you like knitting. You could be great with cars. How about kids, you are good with kids! Are you an educator, a cook or a cop? What do you like to do? What are you good at? What is your strength? All of us have at least one thing we are good at. Most of us have a few and some of us many things we are accomplished in.

Become Aware Of Your Talents And Abilities

It can be your work, a hobby or simply something you excel at. It doesn’t matter whether you use it in a job or at play. It doesn’t matter how good you are compared to anyone else. These strengths are what YOU are good at. They are what you are strong in. These are areas you are talented in. Aspects you like and enjoy about yourself.

Recognize your strengths. Celebrate these. Embrace them. Be proud of your abilities. They can be mental skills, emotional skills or physical skills. You might be really good at thinking things through, asking questions and  finding solutions.

You could be a great listener, a true friend.  You might be good at understanding, loving or being compassionate. Perhaps, you are able to see the bright side in situations and encourage others or find humor.

Know Your Strengths

Maybe you are good at a sport or games. Do you like building or making things. Whether it is making clothes, decorations  or carpentry you are good with your hands. You might be musically inclined or play an instrument.

Whatever areas you excel at enjoy and do your best at. Don’t compare others to yourself. It isn’t necessary to be the best just do your best. The key is to accept, embrace and celebrate these aspects of you. After all, they are your resources. Your skills! Your Talents!

Your strengths are things you may have naturally demonstrated a proficiency in or that you learned to acquire. Some may have come more easily or you may have exerted great effort. The point is these are yours!

Embrace Your Strengths And Skills

Take an inventory of the many different areas you do well in. Think about who you are and what you able to do. Note which things you excel at and be grateful. Appreciate yourself. Feel it! Really FEEL IT!

Become aware that you have learned to do many things.  You have learned to be mobile. You  have learned to walk, feed oneself and dress yourself. You learned ride a bike, take public transportation or drive a car. You learned to communicate, speak, sign, read and write.

You have learned countless things which require complex thinking skills and physical abilities to co-ordinate. You learned these and so many others. Most everything you do you have learned by watching, by experimenting using trial, error and feedback, and by repeating over and over until you got good at it.

Celebrate Who You Are And What You Can Do

You may have done it mostly on your own with help or coaching. The point is you have learned so many incredible things. Do not take this for granted! Stop, think, reflect. Spend time adding these to things those you appreciate and are grateful for. Count your blessings.

We all have strengths and none of us are good at everything. People are good at different things. It makes the world more wonderful this way. Enjoy your talents and strong points. Think about this a lot. Affirm your good points. Do it daily. As you search for strengths notice ones you may not have ever previously considered.

Of course you can list your abilities on a resume or discuss them during an interview. Good to know what your strengths are then. Most importantly is you recognize what you are able to do and enjoy and what you have accomplished already.

You Have Learned So Many Wonderful Useful Things

Come to know your strengths and abilities! Realize you learned these and because you learned them you can learn anything if you want to. Keep growing and finding things that you enjoy, that you are excited about and feel passion for. Live, Learn, Love, Laugh!

You’ll find many things if you will only take the time to really look. Enjoy your discoveries. Keep learning too. Keep growing. Keep stretching and keep using your talents and abilities. Delight!” Rex Sikes

NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS  

*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

find the fun in this day!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

 

Acceptance, Attitude, Celebration, Emotions, Energy, Flow, Gratitude, Healthy Choices, Laughter, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Relaxation, Self Improvement, Smiling, Vibrations

Do This To Improve Energy Levels, Get Healthier & Enjoy Your Life To The Fullest!

2 Comments

phil koch purple flower horizon

“Have you ever felt the need to get away? Maybe, you just want to take a break and let go. Can you do that for yourself? Do you know what to do when you feel stressed or overwhelmed?

It is as important to rest as it is to nourish ourselves and be active. Here are some simple ways to relax, let go and replenish your energy?  Let go and simplify for whatever amount of time you can.

Get outside of the box. Get away from artificial light, electronics and the ambient noise that exists that we don’t consciously notice but that persists and adds to our stress. Cut the cord! If only for a bit. Take it easy.

If you can’t get a weekend away, or some significant time to chill at least take a little time each day to unwind and feel better. Take some time today. Enjoy yourself before this day ends.

Sit outdoors. Lie back on the lawn, or sit under a tree. Hang out on the porch or in the backyard. If you can, go somewhere quiet and peaceful away from city activity. Have a beverage you enjoy. Let go, unwind. Sit peacefully. It is wonderful. Do nothing. Just recharge.

Breath. Enjoy the breeze on your skin. Watch, listen or simply close your eyes and be. Pay attention to your senses. Notice, witness. Watch clouds move in the sky. Listen to the leaves in the breeze. Do nothing.

Go for a barefoot walk. Feel how good it feels. Feel the earth, the grass, the sun, the fresh air. Look far off into the distance for awhile. Look to the horizon as you walk. Enjoy the sun and warmth on your skin. Listen to the sounds of nature. Get away for a bit. Sit by the ocean, a lake, river or stream.

Do less today. Stress less. Stay calm.  Enjoy feeling peace. Listen more, talk less. Don’t get baited into arguments or gossip, let them go. If you speak – when you speak – speak only to bless, heal and prosper yourself and others.

Smile more. Laugh more. Celebrate more. Skip, hum, sing, sway, dance. Move your body in relaxation and comfort. Let go.

Make today about gentle replenishing. Imagine feeling positive where ever you go and whatever you do. Be gentle, kind, compassionate with yourself and others. Ease your way through the world. Look, listen, feel, smell and taste today. Delight!

Relax. Take a bath, a steam, a sauna. Get a massage. Meditate. Flow.

Shut off the electronics. Get away from them. Turn off the cell, the computer, the TV for awhile. Eat some wonderful, well prepared. healthy food. No microwaves, nothing fast. Dine leisurely. Savor it. Sleep in a totally dark room. No light, no alarm light, nothing. Complete darkness.

Read some inspirational material. Allow your thoughts and feelings and actions today to be the finest. Rest. Spend time in gratitude and count your blessings prior to drifting off. Get some good sleep and awaken refreshed. Live, love, laugh, delight.” Rex Sikes

NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS  

*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Have a beautiful day!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

Attitude, Creating The Future, Emotions, Expectations, Focus, Getting Over The Past, Habit Formation, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Relationships, Responsibility, Self Improvement

Sick Of The Blame Game? Learn The Secret How Not To Play It!

Leave a comment

phil koch horizon 1

“Sometimes you screw up and make a mistake. What do you do? You have had times when either you have hurt somebody else or yourself. Do you own up to it? Do you blame others or do you blame yourself? It is easy to do. What do you do? Do you take responsibility?

After all is said and done if you did it or didn’t do what you were supposed to it IS your responsibility. It is your responsibility. Let that sink in. It is your responsibility. No one else is responsible but you.

It Is Your Responsibility BUT Not Your Fault.

These are not the same. Responsibility means it is up to you. It suggests you have a burden or obligation to follow through on. You do, this is true. You should be responsible to yourself and others. You should keep your word.

Accountability (to be accountable)  means you are answerable for or liable for the actions. You are. If you follow through or not on your word, whatever the outcome, you are answerable for your actions. There may be consequences. Usually there are.

Fault, as a noun, means responsible as in ‘I am responsible. It is my fault’. Fault as a verb means to criticize, condemn, attack, and censure. Typically, fault means to  blame. Stop blame!

If you are responsible for something and you don’t do it you should accept you did not do it. You are both responsible and accountable. You are answerable to and for your obligation. The buck stops with you. You should not blame others nor should you blame yourself.

You Are Responsible You Are Accountable But Without Blame

Blame is an added on reaction that has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with others. It is something you learned to do from others while growing up. In blaming other people you seek to escape the consequences for your actions.  You did not, nor do you, want to be punished. No one does, typically.

Parents, peers, teachers, friends have and blamed you while telling you you were responsible and accountable for your actions. The two were unfortunately paired.  As a result when things go wrong you look for someone to blame. This should stop! Finding fault is not the key to positive personal development.

You don’t have to blame yourself to accept responsibility and accountability for actions. When you blame yourselves you punish yourself. You learned to be critical, to condemn and to be hard on yourself.

The original intent, most likely, was to insure you don’t escape the consequences of your actions. The intent may have been worthwhile but what you learned to do while growing up resulted in bad feelings, poor self image and self esteem. You can learn to be loving, kind, gentle and permissive instead.

Stop Blaming Yourself 

If you tell someone you will call them and you don’t. Accept responsibility and be accountable. Call them and apologize. Make good on your promise. Make no excuses, don’t blame yourself or anything else. Own up!

Be willing to state, ‘I didn’t do it. I am sorry I dropped the ball’. Then make good on it. Do what is necessary to repair the situation. Accept responsibility, apologize and never repeat the same mistake twice.

Repair the situation if you are able. If you are not able to (for whatever the reason) then do whatever you have to do to set it straight. Leave the person you let down better off than before. Never leave someone worse off! Make full amends then go the extra mile.

Then, privately, pat yourself on the back for owing up to it and following through with your original intentions. Pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for making good without excuses or blame.

Acknowledge that you took responsibility, owned up, made good, corrected the situation and feel good. Enjoy these good feelings. OWN them! The positive feelings are important! Embrace them!

As you continue the practice of acknowledging yourself positively when you do take responsibility you will learn a new response to it. You will encourage these behaviors to become new habits for you.

Encourage What You Want To Be Able To Do

When you want a baby or toddler to repeat behaviors, if you are a loving parent, you nurture the behavior through encouragement and reward. You help the child feel good about what the child is learning to do. You want good feelings! You praise and promote the child.

Creating pain and punishment leads to fear, helplessness and in some cases hopelessness. Sadly, after the child learns the behaviors, too many people then hold the child accountable and blame if child doesn’t perform as expected. This cycle is repeated in families and by teachers and peers from ancient times to today. It is how we learned to find fault, accuse and blame.

If you try to do something for yourself or family and it doesn’t work out understand that blaming yourself doesn’t help you. Take responsibility and be accountable. That helps! Blame, self criticism, self condemnation, calling yourself names, feeling bad does not. Blame adds insult to injury. Blame is negative.

Find A Way To Release Yourself From Self Blame.

If you want to clean the garage or organize your office or home space but you typically don’t follow through it is easy to fall into self blame. Here’s what you can do when you promise yourself that you will do something. Whatever it is you want to do. If you say you are going to do something – do some thing!

Take tiny steps. Don’t commit to doing it all by a certain deadline. Take it piece by piece. Break it down into easy, manageable tasks that you can easily do.  Make it a point that you are going to pick up or throw out or put away one item each time you enter and leave the room.

This is possible. This is completely do-able! It may take longer to get the room cleaned but each time you do something, you want to and intend to do, you can feel good that you are moving in the right direction. You are creating some forward momentum.

Create Small Wins And Doable Actions

You promised yourself you will read inspirational material 30 minutes a day but you don’t. You let yourself down. You broke your promise. Instead of blame or feeling bad commit to less time. Commit to few minutes. How about 5minutes. If you can’t do that 1 minute.

How about a page? One page, a single page. You COULD do that! Put books in the bathroom and read while in there. Take a book with you wherever you go. Read when you can’t do anything else or when there is nothing else to do. You are stopped at a railroad crossing – read! While waiting for someone, or your coffee or meal -read!

If you want to gain or lose weight or change your eating habits. Break it into tiny steps you can easily do and keep doing. Maybe you want to exercise more or relax more. You want to save more money. You want to think more positively. Anything you can think of.

Whatever you want to accomplish you can do. Make it manageable. Remember, drop by drop fills the tub. It is bette to have small wins often than big loses.

It is better to encourage yourself bit by bit than condemning yourself repeatedly for not following through. You can do this for yourself and you can help others to do it for you as well. Win big overall by gathering little wins along the way.

If you are always succeeding you won’t be blaming and criticizing yourself. When you drop that, when you let it go, and you love and enjoy yourself life becomes so much better. You are so much more free to be, do and have anything you want in life.

Next blog I’ll discuss how you might handle it, what you can do, when others let you down.

How To Easily Make And Keep Positive Changes

Learn to keep your promise to yourself. The key to learning and changing and making the changes you want to make and keeping them is this: Do the right things, consistently, long enough. Put into practice your positive practices. DO them! Repeat them correctly, consistently over time and you will make them new reliable habits.

Stop blaming yourself. Stop finding fault. Release yourself. Acknowledge, praise and encourage. The more you do the more you will be able to do. The more often you become aware of opportunity the more opportunities you will discover. Accept mistakes. Be responsible and accountable, correct and move forward.

Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Make it manageable and you can do anything. The tallest building in your neighborhood was built one brick or board at a time. Each day construction workers did a little bit more until one day the building was completed. YOU can do this too!

Be delighted. Make your tasks and your promises ones you can succeed at. Then you will never fail! As you do this you will discover so much more that adds delight and enjoyment to your daily experience. It feels good to be winning. Celebrate and enjoy it! ” Rex Sikes

NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS  

*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Have a wonderful!

Enjoy what is glorious about you today!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.