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Do This Whenever You Are Nervous: It Will Help Immensely!

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“Do you ever get nervous in public? Do you have difficulty speaking or performing in front of others? Are you afraid to meet new people? Perhaps, sometimes you are just jittery what can be done about it?

Since we are on the subject of Directed Questions™ and how we can direct the mind in useful ways to get the desired results or outcomes we want I thought I would share this article I published years ago.

Originally, it was a post to a Inet group. I was writing to help someone overcome performance jitters or anxiety around being in front of a group of people or an audience.

I work with actors, speakers, attorneys, doctors, educators and people from all walks of life. As I recall, this was a magician but this process, my method, applies to everything we do. I hope you enjoy this article. I hope you will begin using Directed Questions™ to make an incredible difference for yourself.

First Performance Jitters

By Rex Sikes

You are getting some good advice here from fellow performers, know your routine well, jitters are normal, etc. All sound advice. Heed it.

What I additionally do is ask myself positive productive questions which lead my mind in the direction I want it to go in.

‘For example, I ask myself questions like ‘Just how surprised and delighted I will be to discover myself having a marvelous time?’

‘In how many different ways can I discover myself delighted and excited at having the opportunity to perform?’

‘How much fun can I stand and in how many ways will I find myself enthused?’

‘How easily can I discover my sense of humor (or whatever) and how much I love performing?’

‘In how many different ways can I excite and entertain the audience, and have them have fun and enjoyment?’

‘In how many different ways can I feel and express my enthusiasm for entertaining?’

‘How quickly will I discover an ever increasing sense of confidence arising in me to the point where I feel totally incredible about this wonderful opportunity to amaze and delight strangers?’

‘How many new friends can I make as a result of this opportunity?’

These are just a few brief sample questions you can ask yourself – or develop your own.

I use questions like these questions to fill my mind. You see when you ask a question your mind goes in search of an answer. It knows what to look for since we grow up asking questions. The problem with most of us is that we have asked crappie questions of ourselves and others.

So I use good positive questions to stimulate my mind to search for answers which I already presuppose to be there. (understanding language presuppositions which occur naturally in English or any native speaker’s language is most beneficial).

For example, I already assume to have a delightful experience. The question I ask is ‘how quickly I can recognize the delight? OR ‘in how many ways I will discover myself feeling delighted or find myself thinking positive happy thoughts?’

OR ‘what is the first thing I will appreciate about myself when I discover myself already behaving in that fashion, or will I tell myself when I suddenly find that I have behaved in that fashion?’ ‘Where will I feel the delight most in my head, heart, chest etc.?’

I presuppose (or assume) I will have it then I ask how I will manifest it or recognize it or act, speak, think or see regarding it.

In other words, I want to get my brain to work for me. I want to say things like ‘I wonder how quickly I will realize how excited I am’ (rather than I’m nervous). Notice also I am not make affirmations – in other words I am not claiming something to be the case when it is not – I am posing questions in a particular fashion, which directs the mind and doesn’t set up conflicts with what you know to be true.

For example, some people make affirmations like “I am my ideal weight’ when clearly they are not and everything including the mirror tells them otherwise. However, if you ask ‘How quickly can I discover myself maintaining my ideal weight, losing weight easily and enjoying all the right foods in the right amounts?’

AND ‘How happy will I be to discover myself just naturally eating healthier and shedding the pounds?’ your brain doesn’t know the exact answer, and you haven’t given it anything to conflict with. You have simply lead it along the lines with least resistance.

The cool part about brains is they really do look for the answers when questions are asked. So I use my brain to program the behaviors I want. Including calm relaxed confidence, quite assurance and the energetic and dynamic appeal needed for entertaining maximally.

Now notice I didn’t ask a question searching for a particular answer such as ‘what is the capital of Montana’ or ‘on what day at what time will all this make sense to me?’

I ask questions in an open ended fashion, like – ‘even though I don’t feel totally comfortable with this yet, how quickly can I begin to discover myself beginning to relax and feel calm and confident?’ AND ‘where can I begin to put my attention which will be most useful for me in discovering how truly talented I really am?’

‘How quickly can I begin to find myself truly recognizing just how wonderful I am and how lucky I am to be able to share myself and my talents with an audience of twenty or thirty friends?’

See again, I lead my mind where I want it to go and then I fill it with these positive thoughts morning, noon and night AND especially when driving.

I have been doing this for close to twenty years so for me it has been second nature for nearly as long.

I also use my quiet time (or else I purposely make some quiet time 3 – 5 minutes at a time a few times through out the day) to imagine or picture what I want happening, beginning to see myself behaving in the manner I wish to behave in and then ask myself questions about ‘how quickly I can already find myself behaving like this?’, AND ‘what I will see, hear or tell myself or feel as I continue to successfully engage in these positive behaviors?’

Now it is important to do this throughout the days in advance of when you need it. Repeatedly fill your mind with powerful positively phrased questions and positive internal imagery and wonderfully positive feelings of anticipating doing well, even beyond your wildest expectations.

Continue to practice your routines and let the questions and mental work you do make you excited about the event. Remember, you have the opportunity to dazzle new found friends and acquaintances. It is really a marvelous opportunity.

There is much I do for myself and as a performance coach. People who have used and tested my methods do exceedingly well. And I have years and years of very happy satisfied people who have learned to run their own brains to benefit them in powerful ways.

So take all the good advice, use it, practice your routine, fill your mind with useful positive thoughts and go out there and give them one heck of an incredible performance!!!!

Be well and enjoy!!! Rex Sikes
Whether or not you perform professionally as an actor, comedian, magician, acrobat, public speaker or not you can use Directed Questions™ to help you in whatever you want to do.

Whether it is feel happier, get some rest, be more confident, have more energy, eat right, maintain your ideal weight, save more money WHATEVER it is you want you can use Directed Questions™ to help make your dreams and goals come true. SO, why not discover how incredibly powerful these questions are when you begin today? Rex Sikes”

How surprised and delighted might you be to discover the many magical moments that make up today?

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Affirmations, Attitude, Autosuggestion, Beliefs, Creating The Future, Directed Questions™, Focus, Habit Formation, Happiness, Learning, Mental Movie Theater, Personal Development, Positive Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Success, Visualization

Did You Know You Hold The Power To Transform Your Life?

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“You may not realize it but did you know that you already hold the key to your transformation? You have it available and you use it every day but you haven’t used it in the powerful way you could be using it to get incredible results! Wouldn’t you like to know what it is so you could put it to work positively for you?

I bet you would. So here it is. In the past few blogs I brought up the transformative power of asking yourself Directed Questions™ to help you focus on and get what you want in life. Here is another article I wrote on the subject. All of my home study audios and videos from the 1980’s on include this powerful work. You can get this information and the power to change right now.

Why Affirmations Don’t Work And How You Can Replace Them With Directed Questions™ To Get The Results You Want

The way you feel and what you experience comes from where you focus your attention and determines how you are going to behave. Successful people know that you must control not only what you focus on but how you focus .

They have learned to take control of their emotions and run their own brain — that means taking control of what you are picturing in your mind and how you are picturing it, what you are saying to your self and how you are saying it. When you get control over these things, this will allow you to determine how you feel.

When you focus, you limit your attention. If you are not focused on success you will miss all the opportunities success brings. In life, we get what we focus on.

Remember this: What you focus on, you get.

People who do affirmations are wasting their time because they are actually setting up internal conflicts that cause them to activate the opposite of what they want! When people look into the mirror and say, “In every day and in every way, I am getting better and better,” a part of their mind comes back and says, “bull!”

Doesn’t it? It is just like if I told you that you have a blue shirt on when you actually have a red one on! I say, “nice blue shirt” and you say, “it’s not blue, it’s red.” Then I say, “it’s blue”, and you say “no, it’s red” … we could go on like this forever… which is exactly what happens for most people when they do affirmations.

Instead of engaging yourself in this confrontive struggle with yourself, you could begin to ask yourself questions instead. Questions will always get you an answer. Questions change what you focus on.

They get you to focus on either what is good about you, your environment, or your behavior, or what is bad about you, your environment, or your behavior. An affirmation in the form of a question is 300 or 400 times more effective and will literally train your brain to translate the affirmations into your behavior.

Why Questions are More Powerful than Affirmations

Brains learn quickly to move in directions. Questions direct the mind. They divide experience and lead our attention. Questions demand an answer. And since it is a question which our brain may not know the answer to yet, it will search to give us an answer.

If, when we ask the question, we include more of what we want in our life, our brain will search to provide us with those things which we included in our question and the answer.

Asking yourself questions is one of the greatest things you can learn for yourself. Questions set your reality. Think about it. If I say, “what did you do on Friday?” Where does your mind go? It goes to look for an answer. If I say “how old are you?” You know the answer. If I say, “what did you do last summer?”, “What is your occupation?”, “Who was your best friend when you were a child?”… You are causing your mind to come up with an answer.

Sometimes you won’t have the answer right away. Sometimes you may have to ask another question like, “gee, who was it?” You are sending your mind in a direction.

According to anthropologists, people are “meaning makers.” In other words, people will ask themselves “what does this mean to me?”, “what is in it for me?”, or “what should I do?” It is the questions we ask ourselves that create meaning for ourselves. And you have a choice as to what exactly those questions are going to be.

Are you going to ask yourself questions that get you bad results, like “how come I’m so stupid?” or are you going to ask yourself questions that get you good results like “how soon will I begin to realize how wonderful I am?”

The kinds of things you ask yourself are critical. If you say “gee, how come I am so stupid?”, your brain goes “because when you were a child you didn’t eat Wheaties, you didn’t have corn flakes, you didn’t grow up right and it was your parents fault.” Or because “you are a slow learner” — because someone told you that when you were a child. Or because “you aren’t disciplined enough”, or “you have great potential but you’ll never really amount to anything”…

Whatever it might be, when you say “how come I’m like this?”, your brain will answer and it will come up with a reason no matter how logical or illogical it is. The number one thing in our culture, bar none is that when someone in our culture says “why” someone says “because”.

When you say to yourself, “I don’t understand this” or “I don’t get it” you are reinforcing anything that you do not understand yet. You are making it much tougher on yourself . You are impeding your learning. On the other hand, if you say, “I wonder how soon before this begins to make sense? I wonder how quickly before I am going to be delighted in discovering what is new about this? I wonder how soon before I delight and amaze myself?” you begin to send your brain in the direction that is useful for you.

As you ask yourself those questions, your brain may not come up with the quick “because” answer because you are posing a question to yourself that you don’t yet know the answer to. Wouldn’t it be a lot more fun finding out? Wouldn’t it be a lot more interesting to think “gee, I wonder how exquisitely talented I can become? I wonder how I can use language to do things that I never yet before considered possible?

I wonder who I am going to find that presents a challenge and I wonder how I am going to delight and amaze myself in overcoming that challenge and doing that in ways that I never before thought possible?” Does that sound like a more useful way to begin looking at the world? … a more useful way, a way that brings you more delight, more pleasure and speeds up the amount of time in which you learn anything?

We have told ourselves a lot of things in our lives. A lot of them aren’t even true. In Mind Design™, what we want to do is get your whole mind, your whole brain, your whole being moving in a direction that as you move in that direction you pick up the kind of things you want to be doing.

You pick up the skills you want to have. You practice, you use them, and you find out how they contribute to your being, how you contribute to others, how you move through the world with these win/win outcomes and make your life and the lives of those around you a lot more fun!

During the Mind Design™ program, you are going to learn a way to ask yourself the kind of questions that get you the results you want. To be truly successful, fulfilled and secure, you must make a habit of asking the kinds of questions that give you power, drive and energy.

For now, I want you to commit to making a change for yourself, commit to your goals and commit to asking yourself a new set of questions. By doing this, you will be able to succeed in your goals beyond your wildest expectations.

You are already asking yourself questions every moment of the day. If you say “yes, Rex, That’s true” or “no Rex that is not true”… the only way you could answer that is by having asked yourself a question!

For at least the next 21 days, I want you to ask yourself a different set of questions first thing every morning, before going to bed and any moment you can throughout the day.

You will want to write them down, carry them with you, pin them up where you will see them and be reminded to ask. Remember what you do now determines the quality of your future. The quality of your life depends on the quality of the questions you ask.

Some Sample Questions

How come I am so lucky?
Why am I so wonderful?
What new wonderful things will I discover?
How can I become thinner and enjoy the process?
I wonder in how many ways I can become better and better?
I wonder how quickly I can achieve my ideal weight?
Which sensation in my body feels the very best right now?
How quickly will I begin to learn these new skills?
How naturally and easily will I begin to pay attention to pleasant feelings?
How soon will I begin to notice with delight how happy I can become?

Using Questions With Others To Be More Persuasive

In the same way that you ask yourself questions that direct your mind, you can use questions to direct the mind of your customers an clients. The mind is easily programmed and lead to make decisions within the options that are given.

Some Sample Questions

Would you like to order your dessert now or when you have your coffee?
Is this cash or charge?
When customers are asked “would you like a large or small coke?” most take a small. However when asked, “would you like a large one?” most take a large.
Do you realize how excited it is going to be when you take this vacation?
How quickly can we finish our meeting?
In how many different ways are you going to enjoy this house?

Well, there you have it again. Have you discovered yet the power of asking yourself powerful Directed Questions™. Why did I call them Directed Questions™? Because that is what they are! You direct your attention to what you want instead of focusing on what you don’t want. I hope you will enjoy the power of these powerful questions all the time every day!” Rex Sikes

In how many different ways can you delight and amaze yourself today?

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How To Instantly Change Your Life For The Better!

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“In an instant, the amount of time it takes to exhale, your life can change for the better. You can begin living the life you always wanted. You can start making all your dreams come true. It can all happen instantly!

All It Takes For Your Life To Change For The Best Is A Real Decision

Once that decision is made the everything begins to change!

Thomas Edison tried 10,000 times before he found the right material for the filament. He stated he discovered 10,000 ways to not make a lightbulb. He did but he only needed the one right way to make it work. Edison only had to be right one time for everything to change.

You Only Have To Be Right Once

It doesn’t matter how long you have been trying. It doens’t matter how many times you got a no answer, the wrong answer or no answer at all, you only have to get yes once. It doens’t matter how many people you asked you only have to have one person say yes.

Do you get this concept?  Some people focus on the amount of effort, that it may be hard, that people say no, or that they are rejected, and to do that is placing your focus in the wrong place. Edison was wrong 10,000 times it is true but when he was right he was right. IT only took one time to succeed!

It is a concept some people have difficulty with because they’re hung up on the point that he had to search all those times in order to find the one right way. According to Edison, it didn’t matter because he knew he was on the right path, that he was getting closer and because he considered it learning how to NOT make a light bulb.

Attitude drove Edison. He was dedicated. He was passionate and consumed. He wanted to and knew he would succeed. He believed it. The trials until the success did not matter. What mattered was his persistence and faith in the outcome. He would succeed! He did!

The Power Of A True Decision Is Released In A Moment

A split second. That is it’s power. Once you truly decide to take 100% responsibility for everything in your life, the good and the bad, your life will change. You can begin to create and attract what you want instead of what you don’t want. You will begin to get the results you want to have because you are focused on what you want to have. You aim at success and believe in the outcome as Edison did.

You have to take responsiblity for all of it. No excuses. You take the good with the bad and the bad with the good. You don’t get to take responsibility for half of it or part of it. You must take responsibility for everything in order to become free to create what you want and intend to.

Everything! Even if you don’t understand how. If something happens you don’t want, accept the responsibility for it, don’t pass the buck, then decide what you do want and intend to bring about. This puts you in charge of everything in your life.

The second you decide to plant seeds for an orange tree the oranges are in your future. This is an incredible point to understand! They don’t exist in your future until you make the decision to plant. Once you decide to plant the seed you create the possibilty of a future with oranges actually in it.

When you follow through on your decision, when you act on it and  plant the seeds IN THAT INSTANT they start to come to you. They are planted and their energy is released. While it takes time for the tree to grow, blossom and produce fruit it all began the second you made the decision and followed through. DO you get this?

The Decision Isn’t Actually Made Until You Act On It

Once you act on it good things can begin to come your way. You set into motion wonderful creations and attractions.

As long as you focus on the positive and fill your mind with successful, happy thoughts and wonderful feelings you are making great things happen. You stay on track, you keep your focus. You expect the results to come to you because you planted the seeds.

Most of the incredible things NOW coming to you are invisible to your awareness.  You can’t see them yet, you don’t yet know what they all are, but all good things are coming to you. You have released them with your thoughts and attention. You planted positive seeds.

This means you get and become what you think about and focus on and then some! Once you decide to live as a creator of good things in your life that is the energy you generate. As with any seed it needs to be nurtured and suppoted to grow. It needs the right nutrition and conditions. Keep your mind occupied with the best thoughts!

When you activate these thoughts with powerful, positive, passion and feel good emotions that is when your subconsious mind works to manifest these. If you don’t take control and decide to be 100% responsible and choose to focus on the positive your subsconsicous will continue to deliver whatever you have been getting.

Powerful Changes Begin The Instant You Follow Through

You make a powerful positive dicision NOW follow through. Keep going in the right direction. Act on it! What you think, say and feel IS critical! Think and speak about only what you want. Fill your mind with positive affirmations and images of how wonderful life is for you.

Fill your self-talk with  gratitude and make it a point to only speak about you, your life, others and the world in ways that bless heal and prosper. All things work together for good.  Celebate and enjoy! Anticipate wonderful things. Do not let yourself be distracted by world circumstance, difficulties or present less than glorious life situations. Stay positive and you will be powerful.

The wrong approach is to think that it takes hard work or years of effort. It takes whatever it takes. Everything can change in the twinkling of an eye. The second you say YES everything can flow and can begin to flow quickly and easily towards you.

You become tuned to receive and accept. Think over and over again, ‘I accept it all bring it on! I allow it to come to me. What I want wants me.’ Use your self talk and mental movie screen in positive powerful ways. DECIDE how it will be. YOU are in charge of you! Be responsible and make it happen. Be the creator you already are.

We Already Create All Of Our Circumstances

We have always been creating our life and circumstances albeit haphazardly or without deliberate intention. We may never have even realized our role in creating our life and future. Most of us have created mixed results, good and bad, because we weren’t aware of what we needed to do. This is why it is necessary to ultimately choose to be responsible for whatever you have been getting.

We brought about what we didn’t want more than what we did want BECAUSE no one told us the rules for creating and getting what we want. In order to get what you want you must be postively focused ONLY on what you want. You have to live it and breath it. You can’t half-ass it. Once you figure it out you can take charge and make your future what you want it to be.

Focus On What You Want:  Stop Resisting And Allow

Once the resistance is gone the good things you want can come through. Be open, know that you deserve it, abundance is yours and claim it. You can be, do and have anything you want.

Once you begin to spend most of your time thinking powerfully and positively your life changes. Once you are filled with celebration and gratitude for everything you stop resisting. It began with the decision and you bring it about with the follow through. The seeds are growing. Keep them growing by your thoughts and feelings!

Once you understand completely that all things work together for good IT doesn’t matter how the good things arrive or when. You allow it and accept whatever is. You celebrate it and everything happens in the right time and in the right way. YOU are in the zone! You go with the flow and life is grand! You will be delighted!

Difficulties and challenges that arise serve as lessons and opportunites to fine tune your skills. The allow you to clarify what you want and make sure you are focused on that. The tough times can help you evolve even faster when you don’t let them get you down or distract you.

When you keep your attitude and thoughts in check while going through the tough times YOU are really becoming a person of power and ability. The most important part of the journey is WHO you become along the way!

Determine To Live An Awesome Life And You Will

Know what you want. Focus on it. Celebrate and enjoy! Work co-operatively with others. Accept, allow, and include. Pave the way for all great things to come to you.  It is up to you! You are the one who decides and creates and attracts. It is not magic it is you taking charge of your life and abilities to live well.

You decide,  plant the seeds and follows through to reap the harvest. It is up to you. 100% of the results you get, good or bad, are up to you. No blaming, no excuses, no whining. Just Accept it!

Think and say outloud, ‘I can be, do and have everything I want, anytime, any where, with anyone. I am blessed! I am the creator, the decider, the champion of my life. Right now, I create a marvelous life for myself and others. I draw all good things, people, events, and situations toward me. I know all things work together for good. I can always find a way through difficulties. I am 100% in charge of me!’

That is one example. Create and fill your mind and your moments with positive affirmations and speak them passionately outloud throughout each day. Hold them in your mind. Visualize what you want to be and have in you minds eye AS IF you already have it.

You become what you think about most! Be grateful, celebrate, enjoy all things, read inspiring books, listen to audios, hang out with positive powerful people and you transform your life and quickly!”  Rex Sikes

How incredible will you make today?

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Attitude, Beliefs, Expectations, Faith, Flow, Focus, Friendship, Habit Formation, Personal Development, Rehearsal And Practice, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Success, Trust

The High Cost To Breaking Your Promise!

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no excuses - when you really matter

“Is there anything worse than someone who does not keep their word?  When they break they promise they demonstrate that their promise to you is meaningless. It shows us that they have no willpower nor backbone in carrying out what they say they will.

It indicates that they are weak or they just don’t care enough for you to keep it. Their promise is empty just as the results they get are empty. They do not care. They are not loyal. Their word or promise is of no value. It sucks!

When someone breaks their promise to another person s/he lets the other person down. As a result of that disappointment and the bad feelings negative associations pile up. The person gets a reputation of being a ‘let down’, ‘a disappointment’ and of being an untrustworthy person. You don’t want that, do you?

Always Keep Your Word

You should always keep your word! Your word should be golden! It should be unbreakable! You should never give your word unless you keep your word. You should place a high-value on doing what you say you will.

If you won’t do what you say you will then you shouldn’t make any commitment in the first place. NEVER give your word unless you absolutely intend to keep it. Do not disappoint anyone by making a promise you won’t keep.

If you make excuses and blame circumstances you demonstrate you are not in charge of your life. You made a promise, broke it and then whine or complain that it isn’t your fault that something came up. No one cares about your reasons for failure they only know YOU did not deliver.

When you promise something you are claiming you will follow through. You are stating implicitly that YOU will deliver.

What Constitutes A Promise?

IS it only a promise when you say, ‘I promise’? HELL NO!  A promise is implied whenever you say you will do anything or offer to do anything. The promise is always inferred. It is understood that you intend to deliver. If you won’t deliver don’t say you will.

If you said, ‘Today, I’ll buy lunch’ but when the bill comes you say ‘Forget it’ what do you think people would think of you? Why would you offer if you weren’t going to? If you say, ‘I’ll meet you at noon Friday’, but don’t show up do you think they’d think you were cool?

If you told a child, ‘I will come by after school’ and then didn’t how might the child feel? Do you really want to do that to a kid? DO you want to let anyone down? Do you want to get the reputation that your word isn’t any good? It is important to do what you say you will.

Consider this: IF it is that important to keep your word to another person how  important is it to keep your word to yourself?

You Need To Keep Your Promises To Yourself

If you say today you are going to do the laundry do the laundry.  If you claim today you will not eat donuts DON’T eat the donuts.  If you say you are going to take out the trash every week on Wednesday then take out the trash every week.

It is just as bad to break your promise to yourself as it is to another person. When you break your promise to yourself you betray yourself. You create failure and disappointment. You give yourself a reason to berate yourself and feel negative about you. You lower your self esteem. You injure yourself! After all, you have let yourself down, yet again!

This disappointment can stimulate negative self-talk, you can re-live old disappointing memories. It provides you negative ammunition and takes the wind out of your sails. You don’t focus on the ‘can do’ but on the can’t or didn’t do. You can chalk up another reason why you are a failure.

There Is A High Cost To Breaking Your Promises

When you make a promise or give your word to anyone the expectations are that you will keep it. Your word is your bond! A person only has their word to give and nothing else. If you say, ‘I can give money’ the money is the item you promised. If you don’t give the money you broke your word. Do you get it? It’s what you say!

If you can’t be trusted to keep your word what have you? What are you worth? It would be better to not say or promise anything than to break your word.  If you’re not going to take the trash out every Wednesday, as you promised, don’t say that you’re going to.

The key to keeping your word is to find a way to give it that allows you to win when you do and that doesn’t gnaw away at you if you don’t.

Perhaps, you promise to  take the trash out every Wednesday unless something more important comes up. Then each week at the appropriate time you prioritize. If you don’t take the trash out THEN it is because something truly more important has come up. In this way you have kept your promise to yourself.

You have acted on the first most important item on your list. Then the next. You will take the trash out as you knock off the items before it. This way you are not only taking the trash out but, because you have prioritized, you are doing other important things as well. This makes it a win/win for you.

Following through on what you say you will is important to your health and well being. You  need to work your plans and feel good about yourself. You can’t feel optimum if you are disappointing yourself and others. No one wants to think, feel or be told (by yourself or someone else) ‘See I knew you’d let me down’.

Make Keeping Your Word A Habit

You can learn to make anything a habit if you want to. Start simple, start small and keep it easy. Each day make a short list of four or five taks you want to complete before the day’s end. If you prefer do it the night before.

Keep these things ones you can achieve. They should not be overwhelming or time consuming. They could be things like take the trash out. Call a friend or make that business call. Walk your pet. Straighten up your desk or work area before leaving. Practice piano, read a chapter in a book. Keep it easy enough to do.

Once you complete a task cross it off your list. When you have completed all on your list of things to accomplish notice how good it feels. Pat yourself on the back. Enjoy and celebrate your success. You might be amazed at how good you feel. Repeat this process the next day.

Spaced repetion is what makes a habit. Repeat the behavior your want to learn, again and again, each day and soon it will be a habit. As it becomes a habit your confindence will become stronger just as your muscles do when you exercise them repeatedly.

Soon you will be up to handling larger tasks and more important promises. You will have made follow through and completion a habit. When you want to or have to accomplish something really big or important you will be able to.

You will follow through and keep your word. You will do whatever it takes because you are a’can do’ person. That will make you feel even better again! You will build for yourself a success cycle.

You will feel better about you, believe in and trust yourself. You will enjoy and get known for keeping  your word. You’ll develop the reputation as one whose word is golden. Place a high priority on doing what you say you will and you will absolutely transform your life!” Rex Sikes

Have a great day!

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Attitude, Blessings, Emotions, Focus, Gratitude, Happiness, Healthy Choices, Joy, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Talk, Success

Want To Feel Great No Matter What?

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phil koch purple flower horizon

“Inside every adversity is a seed of equal opportunity!  In every moment, good and not so good, there is much to celebrate and enjoy. The key is to look for, and find, whatever it is, no matter how tiny, that you can validate and celebrate.

If you want to feel great, feel grateful! When you practice feeling more grateful the results can be profound!

What Is Gratitude?

Celebration and gratitude unlock the door for greater opportunity and benefit. We all have the ability to feel more grateful. It simply means that instead of complaining, whining or blaming we focus on, express and feel good about all we have.

Gratitude means we appreciate the people, the circumstances, the situations or events in our lives and the things we have rather than thinking about what we don’t have or should have. We focus on the good, even in the bad moments. We manage our thoughts and feelings.

Psychological Health Improves

A leading researcher in gratitude study, Robert Emmons, confirms, after multiple studies, that the practice of gratitude increases happiness and reduces depression. Other research conclude it improves resilience in people and raises self-esteem.  It reduces aggression and helps increase empathy.

People who practice gratitude tend to be more relaxed, have more enjoyable feelings and happier memories. They are less envious and less materialistic. They are more optimistic and less self centered.

The practice of feeling grateful reduces toxic chemicals in the body and increases the experience overall more well being. People feel less stressed and overcome trauma more easily.

Physical Health Improves

Grateful people experience fewer aches and pains and are sick less often. They have increased energy and are apt to exercise more. They take better care of themselves and they sleep better. All of which contributes to longevity.

It was determined that sleep comes more easily to those who spend time counting their blessings prior to bed. People who wrote down things they are grateful for had longer and improved your sleep.

Relationships Improves

People who feel and express gratitude tend to be more social and develop nurturing friendships. The practice of thanking others, even strangers, led to more opportunities.  People who were grateful and appreciative recognized and accepted their own, and others, accomplishments more readily. They are kinder.

Career Results Improves

Grateful people tend to experience better career success. They are more likely to make better decision and accomplish their goals. They network more, use their time more wisely are more productive. People who were more grateful tend to generate more income.

More Happiness

The important areas in one’s life all showed improvement. These benefits were tied to keeping a gratitude journal. The simple act of writing down what you are thankful for and what makes you feel good  has profound effects.

The results, the benefits comes to those who take five minutes to concentrate on their blessings. Take some time each day to feel grateful. Stop everything else and focus on what you feel thankful for. It is worth it when you do!

The more people express true gratitude the more people experience greater happiness. If you want to feel more satisfied with life develop an attitude of gratitude. It’s easy! Just count your blessings!” Rex Sikes

Have a beautiful day!

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch

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Experience The Incredible Presence And Power Of NOW!

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Present-Moment-GaryZukav-quote

“There is plenty more to discuss about energy, visualization, affirmations and living powerfully. There is much more to talk about making your dreams come true. Life is a process and we are always somewhere in the middle of it. We are in a flux, a flow and if you think about it you are always right where you are.

That seems like a weird thing to say but you are always in the perfect place EVEN when you don’t think so. If you were to take a trip in a canoe you would always be right where you are on the river. What causes us pain or joy is wanting to be elsewhere than where we are at any given instant.

Accept Right Where You Are

If we’d rather be elsewhere we experience discomfort. If we are in a hurry we may be in pain. If we are completely happy and content to be right where we are on the river all is good. We can relax and notice the beauty surrounding us.

We can be alert to anything wonderful or not so wonderful that requires our attention. We can be totally present and that means we can be fully alive right. We can enjoy being where we are fully. The same thing is true about right now!

We Can DelightIn Right Now 

In this instant you and I  are in the right place. If we don’t think we are it is only because we are making a judgement. Actually, it is fairly egotistical to think we might not be, as if we knew better what the right place to be in the moment is.

When we think we know better and criticize ourselves for not being enough, or for the moment not being the right moment we cause our own suffering.

Surrender Is About Giving In To Whatever IS Right Now

Drop into the moment fully. Appreciate NOW for whatever is or isn’t going on. No judgement, just acceptance, allowing, awareness, appreciation, alertness to this moment. Right now! You are alive! Can you feel it?

Don’t think about it just experience it. Let this moment be everything there is and nothing else.

Wherever you are, whatever you are doing NOW is the only time you actually have. Live in the present moment! One can be filled with gratitude right this second. One can feel positive and more alive and feel blissful this very second. This IS good, high, positive energy to be filled with.

Today, Appreciate NOW Whenever You Can.

Bring your awareness to the moment and just experience the pleasantness of now. In that instant it can seem eternal. Take a deep breath and relax into it. Savor the now. Whenever you remember to remember this moment, drop fully into it. It is all awareness.

Celebrate today. Live in gratitude. Be more silent, listen to the world around you. Notice the sounds and the sound of silence. Allow the energy inside you to bubble up and overflow. Accept.

Whenever you notice yourself pushing it or resisting relax and allow. Notice how it feels  when you stop effort-ing or striving and allow, accept, and receive instead. Create a gap, a space, between you and ‘trying’ and just BE for a while.  Find the joy of nothingness.

Let Today Be Filled With Joyous Moments.

Moments pass. If you encounter less than glorious moments let them pass too. Don’t hang on to them. Notice how it feels to let them go when you stop re-living the old, or the painful. Notice what it is like when you stop clutching onto them. Live and let go!

Celebrate and enjoy! Find bliss wherever you are. You are now and this is the only moment you actually have. Dive into this moment. Live in the now, not in the past or the future,.

Live NOW Because NOW Is When You Live!

Today, live, love, laugh and celebrate!” Rex Sikes

May today be incredible for you!

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How To Have More Positive Enjoyable Energy

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looking at the same world difference is what u see

“DO you vibrate low or high or at all? Some people, some spiritual practices and quantum physicists, believe we are energy and vibrate at certain frequencies. Based on experience and every bit of research I have I have looked into in the past 40 years I can accept this premise. After all,  we are made up of vibrating atoms.

When we add heat to a liquid (we add energy) the energy, the molecules and atoms, of the liquid move faster. When frozen they move less (although they still are vibrating). It seems it is the nature of the universe to be one vibrating energy in many forms or frequencies and actually nothing else.

Everything is energy.

Just as there is day and night, good and bad, up and down, hot and cold there is positive and negative, high and low, energy.  It seems to be the case that whether we vibrate high and positive or low and negative we are attracting the same kind of energy to us. We get back more of the same.

Or perhaps, when we are vibrating at a high positive rate we create and attract more high positive energy and when we are at a low negative rate we repel and are not open to receive high positive energy. We are resistant to it unless we change how we are vibrating.

Whether or not you chose to believe this as reality it still makes perfect sense to adopt as an analogy or metaphor for what goes on within us. It gives us a way to calibrate or evaluate how and what and where we spend the bulk of our time. It can explain what we are doing. Once we recognize what we are doing we can change it for our benefit.

Think of it like this. You have a positive energy ball or cloud above you and you have a negative one too. Whichever one is bigger is where you spend the predominant amount of your time. The goal is to have one larger than the other. Which do you think would be better to have bigger?

Yes, I think the positive ball too. So the goal is to think our thoughts and feel our feelings in the best possible ways to make the positive ball bigger and the negative ball smaller. If we really had these in the physical world the larger the ball the more mass it has.

This is not necessarily accurate. It could be larger and lighter depending on what it is made of and how it is made.  Still, most of the time the larger something is the more gravity pulls on it so the more potential momentum it has. We want a big positive energy ball for this reason!

We want a massive, positive, energy ball with lots of momentum.

We want out thoughts and feelings mostly positive so we live our life mostly feeling wonderful and creating good things.  It makes perfect sense that how and where and what we spend most of our time doing is what we get back.

We could call you a ‘water person’ if you spend the bulk of your time in the pool, the sea or on and around the water. If you spend most of our time loving, feeling peaceful and joyful what is your experience versus if most of our time is spent complaining, blaming and quarreling? How do you prefer to live your life? What do you want?

When we keep our energy positive we attract and create good things, happy things, positive events, experiences and people. When most of our time is thinking and feeling negative ball we get negative people, experience and things. It really is a simple concept.

If all this talk about positivity and vibration is accurate and real it makes a lot of sense. Even if it isn’t actually real, but only a useful analogy for how to live, it still makes a lot sense in how we approach life and getting what we want. It gives us a practical means for determining how we are getting the results we are getting.

The more time we spend feeling good the MORE TIME we spend FEELING GOOD.  While that seems like a redundant sentence there is truth in it. Adopting these analogies for ourselves helps us to know where we need to put our attention more frequently.

The better we live the better life we have.

Complaining and whining does what? It deflates our good mood. It zaps us of our positive energy. Criticism and blame brings us down. Fear and worry and negativity do not help us to feel better. Yes, it can help us to realize and recognize what we do not want but we can not wallow there if we want to feel wonderful.

We need to turn our attention away from what we don’t want and put it on what we do want instead.

For this reason it is up to us to take 100% responsibility for controlling our thoughts and feelings. No one else can do it for us. This IS why WE put effort into managing our thoughts so we remain positive and powerful create or attract what we do want.

This IS WHY we make positive glorious pictures and supportive self-talk and affirmations because we become what we think about, focus on and do most of most often. The more time we spent thinking and feeling and doing what we want the more of it we have. The more of it we will do automatically as we make positive thinking and feeling a habit.

The more we do the more we can to do.

Hopefully, now you understand the reasons for taking control of your mind and body, your thoughts and words, your actions. They have a cumulative effect and produce the results you are getting in your life. If you don’t like the results you have gotten you need to change what you are doing and what you are focused on.

In these blog pages I have discussed precisely how to do this. Go back a read through posts. I’ll share more upcoming too. We want to keep our ball of energy large and positive. They key to the good life is how we use our minds and how we feel.

Any time you you, at any moment you can become aware, and  do a self check to discover to which ball are you contributing? Are you adding to the positive energy ball or the negative? This is important!

This can help you stay on track with what you want and help you live the life you prefer! Focus on what you want more of! Take the positive steps you need to bring that about. If you can hold it positively in you head and heart you can some day soon hold it in your hand.” Rex Sikes

Have a delightful today!

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Affirmations, Creating The Future, Emotions, Expectations, Focus, Habit Formation, Mental Movie Theater, Persistence, Positive Affirmations, Rehearsal And Practice, Self Talk, Success, Uncategorized, Visualization

The Secret To Making Visualization Work For You!

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suzanne somers visualization quotes

“We are told to visualize our goals but how are we supposed to do this? Is there a secret to making visualization work? What if we we don’t see our pictures clearly does it matter? Can we still succeed?

You Can Get What You Want With Visualization

It seems for eons the emphasis has been in the wrong place. It has been on the image one is supposed to see or make. Yes, you make an internal representation of what it is that you want to be, do or have. You represent in your mind what is absolutely important to you.

We have said ‘visualize it’ and for some they can easily do this. For others, they have more difficulty. They can better hear the voices, or the sounds. Others can more easily experience the feelings. Some do all three without issue. Plus, they might experience tastes and smells.

Whatever you do is okay. Yes, you can develop the ability with which you experience each sense through deliberate practice. Dedicated repetition will make the sense more available, alive and realistic.

It is true we do what is easiest or most comfortable for us. If you haven’t spent much time deliberately visualizing it may not be as easy for you as someone else, at first. With time it can be. Practice it and you will get better at it.

Practice Developing Your Senses

I recommend you practice developing each sense so you have a richer and more varied inner imagination or ‘day dream’ life. In fact, if you see your dreams, at any time, you do see your images. The easiest way to develop the skill is a little bit at a time and with positive expectations and praise. Never get down on yourself.

Look around your room, pick a corner and recreate it in your mind. Look at a simple picture or drawing and close your eyes and re-trace it on the inside. Listen to someone speak or some music and replay it in your head. Imagine the voice of a loved one saying wonderful things to you. Replay sounds you hear from daily life.

Run your hand across some fabric or item and get a sense of doing that on the inside. Hold something in your hand, notice the texture, the weight, the space it takes. Remove it and recreate the sensations. There are many ways to create on the inside what you experience outside.

You can imagine a red box (or any other color) and the change the color. Change the shape to a pyramid and change the color again and the shape again and the color. Have it grow larger, smaller, spin, flatten like a pancake, expand, fly way off into the distance, zoom back in again. Practice creating odd images. You can include sounds and feelings too.

Imagine a giraffe with a monkey on its back flying over our house shouting ‘yipee kiyay!’ Picture a blue elephant eating balancing on a stop and go light eating an ice cream cone. Create different weird, funny, wonderful images and scenarios to enjoy.

Make pictures of loved ones, favorite vacation spots, memories that are important, meaningful and wonderful for you. Just spend five or so minutes daily (or longer if you are able to) and soon your inner world will be richer with images, sounds and feelings.

The Really Important Ingredient

Still, if all you saw was a vague notion of what you wanted that is fine. Might it be better if it were crystal clear, it might be, but not enough to get upset over. The true point of visualizing is NOT so much what you see inside BUT rather what you feel when you are ‘seeing’ it.

The real key to visualizing and creating your dreams and your reality are the feelings above and beyond the pictures. The feelings, how you feel, while you hold the images in your mind drive the show! The feeling you have is the most important!

It is important to feel great! What you want should excite you, make you eager to have it. It should be something to feel absolutely passionate about. Pictures and words (affirmations) don’t have much punch, much power of affect if that is all they are, pictures and words. It is how good you feel while picturing and affirming that count!

The better you feel the easier and faster you create! This IS the secret and I will share more in my future blogs. You can create your reality and be, do and have anything you want. You can make it happen.” Rex Sikes

Have a fabulous today!

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Act As If, Affirmations, Beliefs, Creating The Future, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Habit Formation, Happiness, Learning, Positive Thinking, Rehearsal And Practice, Self Talk, Success, Unlimited Power, Visualization

Success And Happiness: Are You Doing What Helps Or Hurts?

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your mind is a garden

“Are you predominantly focused on what you want, thereby creating what you want in your life? OR  Are you predominantly focused on what you don’t want, thereby inadvertently, creating what you do not want? Since we get what we focus on this is important to know. What do you imagine when you imagine your dreams and goals?

You have to know what you want

You have to know what you want and not just know what you don’t want IN ORDER for you to get what you DO want. Knowing what you do not want (I don’t want to be poor; I don’t want this illness; I don’t want people who lie to me etc) is important to help clarify what you do want. (I want to be wealthy; I want vibrant health; I want people who are honest and I can trust etc).

The key is to focus on what you do want so that is what you create for yourself. Once you catch yourself focused on what you don’t want (uggg I hate these bills! etc) turn your attention away from what you don’t want and put it on what you do want. Remember, we get what we focus on.

When I first began practicing visualizing as a child I had difficulty seeing myself as I wanted to be inside my head. I could quite easily picture something bad happening (falling off my bicycle, for example) but had difficulty imagining myself riding it safely. That was just what I was used to doing in my head.

Because I didn’t undertake to change this and exercise my mind regularly then, as one would with daily physical exercise, this ‘condition’ persisted until my later teens when finally I decided I needed to do something. By then, I had spent many years practicing visualizing how I did not want to be. It was already my habit from younger years.

How to practice and develop skill

I sat and practiced seeing good things happening. It seemed tough at first. Vague, hazy, unclear, unfocused. Sometimes nothing at all. BUT I could pretty well and pretty clearly see what I didn’t want. That was a well developed skill. I had to continue to practice again and again making pictures of what I wanted. At times it was frustrating, I admit. You have to keep at it. I certainly had to.

To help, I would look at photographs of things I wanted or of people doing things I wanted to be able to do and close my eyes and imagine as best I could myself with those items or in place of the people in the photograph. Just as in building any other skill set I needed regular correct repetition to develop my ability to visualize positively. Slowly at first, bit by bit, I got somewhat better.

All of us. You and I can create the life we want. We can learn to develop any skill or ability we want to add, or enhance any skill and talent we already have by dedicating enough time and practice to do so. Learning how to visualize powerfully and positively is a skill worth having. It is our doorway to making our dreams come true.

There may be no other skill more important that our own ability to focus our mind’s attention on what we want to be, do or have since we become what we predominantly think about. Take time to nurture your ability to visualize and be sure to be focusing on what you want to have more of.

Visualizing positively may be your most powerful resource!

We are already creating our world, if you don’t like what you are getting then you must change what you are doing. I had to. The first step in the process of getting what I wanted was to recognize that I was already great at getting and having what I did not want.

This actually was good news. Life kind of sucked but when I realized I was the one powerfully creating everything I didn’t want, I knew, all I had to do was make a switch. I would keep on creating since that is what we all do, but I would deliberately, consciously with full intention chose to focus on what I wanted instead.

That was liberating! That was the instance everything began to shift. Yes, many times daily I had to re-position my focus from what I habitually, already did, (think about what I didn’t want) TO think about what I did want. Again and again and again I had to shift.

Eventually, in time, it grew easier and easier. Soon it became more of a regular habit. Change becomes easier when you decide you have had enough and want something else.  There are other exercises I will share in future blog posts that will accelerate your abilities.

Correct repeated practice enables you to acquire any skill

You can be, do and have anything you want when you learn how. It is far easier and more readily available than you might even realize it is right now. Practice seeing what you want. Become aware of your thoughts and images. Focus on what you want and your life will become so much better. What we think about we bring about!” Rex Sikes

Live gloriously today!

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Success Defined: How To Be A Success

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I can I will end of story

“For some people success seems to come easy, doesn’t it? We think they had it handed to them or were born to it. For others, success seems elusive, a struggle, or if there is success it comes only after much effort.

We are told, in the U.S., work hard and sacrifice and anyone can be a success in time, but only if they really work hard. Sweat, toil, work 3 jobs. That doesn’t seem like the American dream does it? Is success difficult? Does it require hard work? Will you be successful?

Let’s take a look into this notion of success.

Some equate it with career or money. Others include happiness and living well as being successful. Most of us it seems define success as an end point to our efforts. We work hard and then succeed but is that what success is? Is it at the end of the work?

Napoleon Hill stated, ‘Success is the development of the power with which to get whatever one wants in life without interfering with the rights of others.’

The development of the power with which to get whatever one wants IS success to Napoleon, BUT, without interfering with the rights of others. Beautiful! I like this. It is the development of the power to achieve what one wants. Obviously, things develop over time AND while we are developing this power, for ourselves, we are not limiting anyone else.

He further stated, ‘Before success comes in any man’s life, he’s sure to meet with much temporary defeat and, perhaps some failures. When defeat overtakes a man, the easiest and the most logical thing to do is to quit. That’s exactly what the majority of men do.’

Of course, if we quit we will never know what might have been.

Some don’t let failure deter them. Look at Edison. ‘Edison failed 10,000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times,’ said Hill.

Helen Keller is one person who faced incredible odds. Blind and deaf shortly after birth she grew up to become an educated speaker capable of inspiring countless others because of her spirit and attitude. She is only one example of someone who prevailed though facing enormous odds.

Hill stated, ‘Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.’ The seed of an EQUAL or greater benefit! Opportunity and advantage! However, in order to recognize the benefit, the opportunity, we must be aware and attuned with correct mindset.

His own son was born without ears. He didn’t have the external or internal physical auditory equipment to hear. Hill, refusing to believe this would be a limitation for his son, thought it a blessing. It made him special and he passed this attitude onto his boy who did learn to hear and went on to accomplish much.

To some it may seem as though success comes after much effort but Hill said the it was NOT about hard work and that hard work was a myth. That DOESN’T mean no work! Hill meant attitude comes first. Success takes work but it can be enjoyable work with the right attitude. It does not have to be hard work. This is important to note!

Hill emphasized that successful results followed the development of a successful mindset. In order to succeed in the world one had to first learn to control one’s own mind and develop a winning mindset and attitude. Then one was unstoppable and could command great things.

Success first begins within.

He emphasized this often, ‘What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.’ AND ‘Success comes to those who become success conscious.’

He stated that, ‘It is true nothing can bring you success but yourself.’ If one is to be successful it is up to that person to develop their mindset and their powers to accomplish whatever it is they want. I’ve discussed this many times in these pages. It would serve you well to re-visit again and re-read. Also read Hill!

He pointed out regarding wealth accumulation: ‘When Riches begin to come they come so quickly and in such great abundance that one wonders where they have been hiding during all those lean years.’

He points out that our minds ‘become magnetized with the dominating thoughts we hold in our minds.’ AND ‘These magnets attract to us the forces, the people, the circumstances of life which harmonize with the nature of our dominating thoughts’.

‘All the breaks you need in life wait within your imagination; Imagination is the workshop of your mind, capable of turning mind energy into accomplishment and wealth.’ AND ‘Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.’

It is up to us to take control of our minds. To learn to use them in developing our own happiness which in turn leads us to success.

Success need not be difficult.

He made THIS important point many times: ‘It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.’ AND  ‘Success in life depends upon happiness, and happiness is found in no other way than through SERVICE that is rendered in a spirit of love.’

Zig Ziglar put it this way, ‘You will get all you want in life when you help enough other people get what they want.’

Help others and you help yourself. Help others and they can help you. The energy grows stronger in helping each other than in struggling alone. We can rise faster together. Every one rowing in the same direction increases the speed at which we are able to move forward.

People who step on others may get tot he top but they frequently fall or do not enjoy the journey nor the destination.

Earl Nightengale defined it this way. ‘Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.’

Success is not an end state, an ultimate goal, we end up at. It is not result of our efforts but a process we live. The progressive realization means it unfolds; it is a journey not a destination. We are successful while pursuing a worthy goal or ideal.

Don’t Wait To Be Successful!

Nightengale also said, ‘Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.’

One of the most brilliant definitions of success I have every heard is this: Define it for yourself. You write the rules. You play the game so play so you can win. Success is whatever you say it is. Don’t chase something elusive be successful now! Make it easy to succeed and you will have more success immediately. It is only far off if you keep it far off.

Some people compare themselves against others. They keep a score that keeps them losing. You need to keep a score that keeps you winning. Stop comparing your results to other’s results. Don’t get distracted by focusing on the wrong things. If you want to compare compare yourself against yourself and commit to being a little better each day.

Decide you are a success and you will begin to succeed. Decide to be happy and you’ll find your happiness! Decide to live to the fullest and life becomes worth living! Everything worthwhile in the world first began as a thought before it became a reality.

Manage your thoughts. Aim them in the right direction and you will travel in the right direction. Make your reality what you want it to be AND begin now! Everything can change inside a single moment when you make a powerful decision.” Rex Sikes

Enjoy your day!

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