Tag Archives: Positive Attitude

Acceptance, Attitude, Celebration, Creator, Energy, Focus, Gratitude, Happiness, Intentional Thinking, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Self Improvement, Self Talk

Are You Ready To Get Serious About Living & Working Happily?

June 8, 2015 rexsikes Leave a comment

“Some people believe they are positive thinkers but they are not. They may be quite negative. Ask someone, ‘what do you want in a mate?’ This person answers, ‘They must not be a smoker. The shouldn’t lie. I don’t want a person who cheats’. On and on they can go.

Instead of thinking of what they want and what they can do they think of what they don’t want and can’t do. Often, they are not open to what life and others offer. Instead of seeing possibilities they see limitations. Frequently, they may try to enforce those on others.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Love them anyway. Don’t argue with them it is most likely a poor use of your time. Don’t try to convert them they will come around when they come around. Let them be and accept them for who they are. Let your light shine rather than try to persuade them.

Don’t let them rain on your parade either. You can be around them but also find positive, inspiring people to hang with. Find positive mentors that have and do what you’d like to. Seek out people who love life and are fun to be with.

Think 80/20 rule. Spend 80%, at least 80%, of your time and energy surrounded by positive people, thoughts and energy. When you do this your life transforms wonderfully and more quickly.

The more time you spend feeling good, speaking good, thinking good the faster your life changes and the more wonderful it becomes! Aim to think and feel your very best. Have fun and enjoy life. Celebrate and be grateful!

What You Think About You Bring About

Keep your thoughts, feelings and words positive. Speak only to bless, heal and prosper yourself and others. When you talk about your circumstances keep them positive and about what you want. Think of yourself as a powerful creator (whether you think it is true or not).

Imagine that whatever you say comes to be. You bring into being what you think about and talk about. What you say to yourself, your self-talk, and what you say when conversing with others. Are you creating more of what you want or more of what you do not want?

That is an important question? With which do you spend most of your time? It is so easy to complain and speak ill of circumstances. Stop it!

Words Have Power: Be Careful What You Say

Speak only to what you what to make happen. EVEN if you don’t yet know how it is possible. You can always say, ‘I don’t know how or when but I know good things are happening’. If someone asks you how you know that you can say, ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I just know’.

What you think about you bring about, What you speak you manifest. Align your thoughts, feelings, words and actions to be of the highest most positive kind and you will live a blessed life. You will heal and prosper. Make a point of it. Celebrate everything and your joy will know no bounds!” Rex Sikes

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Have a fantastic day!!!

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Acceptance, Attitude, Blessings, Creating The Future, Focus, Intentional Thinking, Responsibility, Trust, Unlimited Power

He Turned His Back On The Lions. Could You?

June 7, 2015 rexsikes Leave a comment

“Can you imagine turning your back on the lions if you were stuck in a cage with them? That is what he did. Before we get to that I want to remind you of an ancient piece of wisdom you might like to consider and embrace.

There’s an ancient story to illustrate the way you can remain centered and not get hooked. In order to get unhooked and not buy into drama you have to develop another attitude, a different mindset. Once this mindset is in place all aspects of your world become different. Everything is enhanced.

There was a man whose horse ran away. The villagers exclaimed what a misfortune this was. The man replied, ‘maybe’. A day or two later the horse returned bringing with it three more horses. The town people exclaimed, ‘you are lucky how fortunate to have more’. The man replied again only with ‘maybe’.

A day or two later his son was riding one of the new horses and was thrown breaking his leg. The town people exclaimed what a tragedy this was and again offered him sympathy. The man replied, ‘maybe’.

The next day war broke out and all able bodied men were conscripted. The military officials seeing the condition of the man’s son passed him by. The towns people all exclaimed how lucky he was because now his son would face battle. He and his son had been spared. The man still replied, ‘maybe’.

We only see part of the picture at any time. The man knew anything is possible. The town’s people only saw a portion and reacted. We can let go of the outcome and respond as the man did if we condition ourselves to understand this. We only see a partial bit of any picture.

Anything is possible. It could be a blessing or a curse. It could be true, as they say, or perhaps it could be otherwise. Time would tell. We don’t have to react we can respond.

It was stated this way in the Bible, ‘we see through a glass dimly’. We can’t see everything. We can’t possibly know everything. Yet, we act as if we do and that gets us in trouble. We have to let go, suspend our judgement. This present situation could be horrible or it could be the best thing that ever happened. We don’t know yet.

Often people look back years after hardship and they can trace the path from then to now. From this vantage point, years later, frequently they point to a cataclysmic event and say ,’that was the turning point for me. Had that not happened I wouldn’t be here now’, or ‘I wouldn’t be as successful as I am. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.’

Years later we see what we didn’t see it going through it. At the time of the event It doesn’t occur to us that this may be an incredible opportunity disguised as a disaster. Nor do we see it could be a legitimate disaster within which there is the seed of an opportunity.

We don’t know. Maybe we should suspend judgement. The verdict is not in yet and we should wait and see.

The old man knew you can label any situation however you want to label it and that does not make it so. He didn’t judge it so he didn’t get caught up by it.

He didn’t get hooked into it as the others did.They lived one moment happy and the next upset. Then happy then upset. They were like corks adrift on a sea.

The old man was steady whatever came his way he took it in stride. He was the one in charge. The world still occurred around him and influenced he and his son but he chose how he would respond to his circumstance. The old man was wise. You and I can be too.

If you make a mistake on your journey and you do something that disappoints you, or you are not proud of, acknowledge it. Recognize it. Determine not to do it in the future and choose what and how you want to respond instead.

Focus on what you want. Do not what you don’t want. Praise yourself, be grateful for the awareness and the opportunity to change it. Make restitution with yourself and whomever else may be party to it.

Do the best you have with what you have at the time. If you make a mistake, if you fall, correct it, get up and move forward. Let go of the past. Extract the important lesson to learn. Don’t blame yourself or others or make excuses. Accept it and move forward.

You can evolve when you learn from mistakes and failures. You have the opportunity to clarify what you want when smacked in the face with what you don’t want. All can benefit you in profound ways. So fill yourself with gratitude and celebration.

Condition your mind. What you focus on you become. Develop the belief that you are the type of person who can handle anything in positive ways. If you believe it you can become that person. If you believe you can respond instead of react then you will develop the ability.

Your attitude determines your altitude! Your mindset, what you believe and expect of yourself, determines what results you are able to create or get back.

Focus on living a positive life. Focus on learning to respond. Think ‘this or something better is coming to me’.

There is the biblical story of Daniel and the lions. Daniel was thrown into a den of lions. Once inside he turned his back on the lions and trusted the lord.

What a poignant teaching example.Trust! Have faith! He turned his back on and ignored his troubles. He didn’t look at them. He looked elsewhere. He trusted.

He didn’t focus on his worry, fear, or doubt, he looked away. He turned away from what he didn’t want and towards what he wanted. He let go of the problem and had faith that he would be okay.

Of course, he didn’t know he would be okay. It took faith. It took courage. It took trust that there was something better. It took the conviction that these circumstances would not defeat him.

Whether you take the story literally or as a metaphor there is great value in it. He faced his problems and then turned from his problems to the solution. He had faith that the outcome would be positive. What a great example!

At this time, you could be enduring your own personal “den of lions”. The key is not to put your focus on your current situation but trust that it will all work out. Put your focus on what you want, the solution, and not on the problem. Create and make happen what you want to make happen. Don’t succumb to the circumstances.

A couple of my favorite Bible verse are: ‘all things work together for good.’ There are many others in all ancient texts I like. I keep them in mind during trying times. Another one, I remind myself of, again and again, is ‘no weapon formed against me shall prosper’.

Expect the best!

I like those two verses because they reminds me I can move through this world, and any situation, with confidence things will always turn out right no matter what. I will always land on my feet. Everything will work out in the end.

There may be an incredible hardship you face right now but ultimately, things will turn out for the best in the long run. They always seem to. Keep it in mind. Learn to respond as the old man. Trust, as Daniel did.

When I remember this I can let things go. I move forward and surprise myself with my ‘enlightened’ responses. When I forget it I get hooked hard. Usually because a big part of me knows I don’t have to be hooked but I go ahead and get hooked anyway. Silly, right?

We are not perfect and shouldn’t hope to be. We are perfectly imperfect. We are living beings we aren’t carved from stone. We live, we change, we grow, we adapt and we don’t.

Sometimes we remain stuck for awhile. Sometimes we walk backwards, but usually for not very far. At times we walk in the light other times we search in darkness. We will make mistakes.

We will disappoint ourselves and others. Make good when we do. Never ignore that. Do what is right by you and by them. Always have faith in a better day. The sun rises tomorrow. It becomes a new day.

Take 100% responsibility for creating all circumstances. Trust that things will work out. Expect them to. Focus on what you want. Make your dreams come true because only you can. Believe it. What you think about the most you become.

Affirm it. Live It! These blog pages give you the keys how to do this. You can develop the champion mindset. Use these principles and methods to evolve your life into something beyond wonderful! You can live, laugh, love! Celebrate!” Rex Sikes

Delight in this day!

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Affirmations, Attitude, Beliefs, Creating The Future, Curiosity, Decision, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Intentional Thinking, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Improvement

The Secret To Making The Changes You Need To

June 5, 2015 rexsikes Leave a comment

“Are you aware that making personal change is quite simple and easy? It really is. It just doesn’t seem that way and that is because you don’t think or believe it is. It really is! It is true!

Most people don’t have to be unhappy, lonely, unsuccessful, broke, in poorer health, they just think they do. They don’t. You don’t! There is a way that you can be, do and have everything you want

Change can be quite easy. People can change.You can be whatever you want to be, do and have whatever you want in life. You can make it happen more easily than you may have ever imagined. You can end bad unwanted habits and create new better ones..

The caveat is this:

It Isn’t Seeing Is Believing It’s Believing Is Seeing

HOW we think about something makes it true for us. Our beliefs actually make it so. The results we get or don’t get are directly related to what we think and believe inside our head first.

I know plenty of people will object to this concept. It will get some people hot as they argue for objective reality imposing on us. These arguments or discussions have been around for a long time.

From, ‘I think therefore I am’, to ‘If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?’ People will find excuses to defend what they already believe rather than trying on new beliefs that serve them better.

There is enough research that anyone can find. I am not going to debate it here.That is not a fruitful use of mine or your time. I ask you to consider this. What if everything you knew were wrong? What would life be life? It surely would be different, how?

I ask this because it isn’t about making assertions it is about becoming open. It is about becoming curious and being able to entertain concepts rather than dismiss them because we disagree with them. There is the Zen story about the master who sent the seeker away because his tea cup was already full.

You Cannot Pour More Tea Into A Full Cup

You must first empty the cup, the master pointed out, then new tea can be poured in. We all have full, completely filled, heads. We have all the assumptions, reasons, excuses, why we are who we are and do and have what we do and have.

We need to let these go. We need to suspend our beliefs, at least momentarily, to even be able to entertain new ideas or new beliefs. We need to be open, empty and available to a new way of thinking and being in order to even attempt it. When the student is ready the teacher appears. Then new tea can be given. Then, life can change!

It is asking better questions that lead us to more useful outcomes. It is not declaring something wrong before trying it out. Curiosity and the willingness to explore opens us up to the possibility of adventure. Dismissal out of hand, too quick, simply shuts everything down. Either we expand, contract or remain the same.

The Flower Is Either Growing Or It Is Dying

Can you be open? It is easy to be open. It just doesn’t seem that way.

Whatever you declare makes it so. You are doing it right now as you read. You either agree or you don’t. You may be one of those who suspend judgement until more data becomes available but more probably you are either agreeing or disagreeing with each statement How open and available are you to entertain new ideas?

We can be, do and have anything in life if we want it. Would you agree? If yes, why? If not, why not? Your answers reveal your beliefs. Either you believe you can or you believe you can’t. You will have reasons why you believe either way. These beliefs and reasons determine the results you get or don’t get.

You Can Be, Do And Have Anything You Want

We can be, do and have anything in life if we want it. Yet, most people don’t come close. A few do. It seems they have unlocked the secret while the rest have not. Others believe god (or the universe) selects certain people to bless and others to fail. OR they believe some are just incredibly lucky while most are not.

People have been taught the secret for eons. Some people figure it out by accident, which is certainly possible. However, they come to it they come to it. Once exposed to it they either apply it or not. Those who do know what happens as a result. Those who don’t never know.

Either You Believe It Is Possible For You Or You Don’t

Let me provide an example. Let’s take a plank the width of a door, in fact lets take a solid wood plank 2x the width of a door. That is probably about the width of a normal sidewalk. It’s length is 100 feet long. It is as solid as anything can be solid. 100 feet long and about 5 or 6 feet wide and strong.

I put this plank down on the ground and ask you to walk. Do you think you could? Probably, it is the same as walking on the sidewalk. Most people could do so without any thought or effort.You could walk, might even run, skip or hop your way along the board for the 100 feet. No big deal, right?

Ok so I raise it 20 feet in the air. Would you walk it? Some would some would not. Raise this same plank 100 feet in the air would you walk it? Fewer would walk it. If we could raise it a half a mile would you walk it? Few ever say yes. I’ve had a difficult time finding anyone to say yes, ‘I’ll gladly walk it’. Would you?

Why, do most people opt out when it gets raised from the ground? The plank has not changed. It is the same plank people traversed easily while on the ground. What changed is people’s thoughts about it.

They are fearful of the height. They imagine themselves falling. The higher up the fewer people willing to walk it because they get frightened. They imagine bad things in their mind. BUT Nothing has actually changed.

Our Beliefs Determine What We Will And Won’t Do

Our beliefs determine what we will and won’t even consider. You realize this right? Absolutely, nothing changed. The plank high in the air is exactly the same one easily walked on the ground. What changed was inside one’s head.

Their beliefs changed. What they imagined happening changed. How they felt as a result changed. They couldn’t imagine walking it because of what they were thinking. This meant they wouldn’t even try. If you don’t attempt it you don’t get any results at all.

It isn’t much different than being afraid of a spider. The spider is millions of times smaller than the human but some humans freeze with fear. It is what the human thinks, sees, tells oneself inside one’s head that makes the tiny spider scary.

Our Beliefs Determine What Is Easy And What Is Not

Our beliefs determine what we do AND do not do. Our beliefs determine what is and isn’t possible for us; what is difficult or easy; what takes time or no time. Whether we move forward and change easily or not has to do with our beliefs.

Does that mean if I believe I can jump over the moon I will be able to? No, it doesn’t. I honestly, don’t know if you could or not but I suspect the answer is no. I am not suggesting ‘impossible’ things. But some people think they can no more succeed than they could jump over the moon. That is sad. That is not comparing apples to apples.

Can you make a million dollars by tomorrow? Well, you could. You might. It may be rarer to do that but it could happen. Some people play the lottery and get lucky and become rich with the drop of 6 balls. So it is possible but not likely.

It isn’t about magic. It is not that you wave a wand and things happen because you believe. It is the practical application of your positive mindset and expectations that determine how successfully you move in the world.

Could you make a million dollars? Yes. You certainly can if you believe you can and go after it? Can you be happy after living a lifetime of sadness. Yes. Can change can be easier than you think it is? Yes! Sadly, most people think it is tough and never both to change what they believe.

Your Beliefs Work For You – You Shouldn’t Be Their Servant

Why have you come to have these beliefs? Who cares? We could discuss that forever. The question is will you begin to expand your beliefs and abilities so you can live happily and be who you want to be, feel what you want to feel, do what you want to do and get what you want to have.

Don’t let your thoughts prevent you. Have the courage to challenge your thoughts. Make your mental constructs, your images and self talk your servant. Make these work for you instead of being their servant. You can triumph and be a champion or you can be a victim or remain stuck.

Getting to where you want to get in life is just like getting anywhere in life. You have to know where you want to go, believe you can get there and then get moving. If anything comes along to interrupt or make the travel difficult, adjust your map, but keep going. Obstacles may arise. Keep going! In real life obstacles represent opportunity.

The Poor And The Powerless Fear Failure And Hardship.

Some people won’t even try because they don’t want to fail. That may be safe and assures you that nothing changes. If you don’t try you won’t fail but you also are not likely to ever succeed.

The successful and rich people don’t fear failure. They don’t even consider it an option. They know they will succeed. They know that they will learn more from attempts that don’t work out than from immediate success. They know they will succeed even when they don’t know how.

The successful understand that knowing how isn’t what you need to begin. How will become clear along the journey. They understand that they only need to determine to win and go after it and they will figure it out along the way AND make their dreams come true. They don’t let anything stop them.

They know that challenges equip them with more of what they need to triumph. Their attitude, their beliefs are different. Their mindset supports them. They are in charge. They don’t let the thought of defeat or actual defeat prevent them from making good in the end.

The Successful Know In Advance They Will Succeed

Failure nearly always precedes success. If you interview most of the self made millionaires and influential people you’ll discovered nearly all of them overcame incredible odds. For most, it was anything but easy. Yet, they prevailed. They did because of their mindset.

The people who succeed know they must continue. They are driven. They are passionate about making a difference. They believe they ultimately succeed no matter what. So they do! Attitude separates the wheat from the chaff.

Mindset determines how far you will be willing to go. ‘If you think you can or you think you can’t you are right.’ said Henry Ford. He was right.

Are you willing to suspend your doubt, your suspicion, your fear, your worries, your know it all attitude, or your ‘I don’t know enough’ attitude to allow yourself to try on some new beliefs. Can you begin to believe you can make it happen and that you can change easily?

I know there will be those who can change their beliefs as they would a spring jacket. They will move forward changing and surprising themselves and delighting along the way. They will encounter difficulty but they won’t let it stop them.

I also know there are those who will cling to what they have always believed and always known. Those will dismiss this proposal out of hand as silly or too hard or impossible. These people will remain the same.

Decide To Be The Victor, The Champion, The Winner

Change is easier than you think it is OR it is as tough as you think it is. (I’ll continue to address this in other upcoming blogs.)

It is whatever you believe it to be. Your thoughts either move you forward toward what you want OR they stop you and hold you back. You are either the controller, the victor of your thoughts or you are the victim of your thoughts.

At any moment you can chose to be a champion if you will let yourself. Take responsibility and recognize you have a choice. You have a decision to make. Which type of person are you? Which type of person do you want to be? Which type of person will you be? It is completely up to you! Decide today!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today. Make it exciting!

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Act As If, Attitude, Celebration, Confidence, Creating The Future, Creator, Emotions, Energy, Expectations, Focus, Getting Over The Past, Gratitude, Habit Formation, Happiness, Intentional Thinking, Joy, Law Of Attraction, Love, Mental Movie Theater, Neuro Linguistic Programming, NLP, Overcoming Difficulty, Persistence, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Rehearsal And Practice, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Self Talk, Success, Unlimited Power, Visualization

How To Keep Yourself From Losing It & Have A Happier Life

June 2, 2015 rexsikes Leave a comment

“Do you have any of those moments when you know you are about to lose it? You may blow your top or crumple in a heap of tears. Are there times when you realize you are worrying unnecessarily but haven’t been able to control it? Perhaps, you are stressed and overwhelmed or you got hooked into an argument and you would rather be free?

If yes, to any of these unwanted feelings, or other ones you may experience from time to time, there IS something you can do to make it different. You can make it better and even prevent it. Wouldn’t you like to know what you can do?

You can learn to be different if you will practice what I share with you in this blog.

You can do it easily in the privacy of your own home. In a short while you will notice yourself responding more productively and positively and your life changing for the better.

Sometimes, the best way to learn new methods is in seminars or workshops, or one on one, with a coach or a guide where you can practice the process in advance of needing it. Working together with someone is real hands on. That is always well worth it. By having a qualified person assist you – you can learn nuances and pay attention to elements you might otherwise miss. A great coach is great to have!

In lieu of getting training you can still make the positive changes on your own inside your Inner Mental Movie Theater. Are you ready and eager to learn how? I’m going to give you some today and then more in subsequent blogs.

Today Is The Beginning Of A Process I Share With You

Once you have all the process you may want to record it so you can follow along. Today, smart phones can come in handy this way. Read through these instructions a couple of times at least. There will be more information to record another day.

Familiarize yourself with the process. Then actually do what is being asked of you. If you only read about it and do not apply it you will not experience the benefit from it. If you don’t attempt it you will never know how powerful it can be. You have to do the work to get the results you want.

First: Determine How You’d Like To Be And Feel And Behave (Respond) In Difficult Or Less Than Glorious Situations

What do you want to be like instead of doing what you do? You might want to be confident, strong, fearless, happy, loving, silly, playful, energetic, caring, calm, relaxed, thoughtful, patient, anything that is positive for you.

There are times in your past when you have felt good this way. You can recall them, remember them in your mind, and remember the feelings. For example, when you felt happy about something. Notice the feelings, where did you feel them the strongest? Aren’t they wonderful? You feel happy!

Enjoy the feelings of when you feel happy! What are you thinking? What are you saying to yourself when you are happy? How do you think about yourself in that moment? Isn’t it wonderful to feel good? How does the world look when you are happy? Maybe a bit brighter? Notice whatever you notice when feeling happy. Linger with it. Savor it. Enjoy feeling happy.

Really take time to relive the happy part of the experience. Notice and enjoy the sights, the sounds, the feelings (even taste or smells if there are any) while feeling this resourcefulness. End it or cut it off while still feeling happy. Don’t let it fizzle out.

You want your primary attention and time spent feeling the good feelings, and letting or making the good feelings intensifying during the memory. If they start to fade or diminsh cut it off, stop it, shake it off (literally shake yourself a bit) and end it. Take a few breaths and do it again. Learn to create poignant positive moments for yourself. Bookended!

It is: Feel happy, It increases, And out!

If you were to imagine a bell curve close to the top of the bell say at 9 or 10 o’clock position would be the entry point. You feel happy. It increases or intensifies upward towards 12. Then it starts down the other side of the bell curve. Do you get it? You come in feeling happy, intensify it and exit,

Stop before it starts the downslide. This is how you teach your brain to give you what you want. You want to feel good and feel it increase. Linger in the good feelings and when the feelings begin to diminish exit. Wash, rinse repeat! Do it again!

Develop The Knack Of Re-living And Creating The Precise Moments You Want More Of

What is so amazing is you can use your mind to travel back to times, and places, and events and with people, or engaged in activities when and where you felt these positive feeling states. You can recall and re-live them all while sitting in your chair!

Just as when you are out somewhere and something triggers or jogs a memory in you and you enjoy revisiting it. You can deliberately do it. You summon it up. You go back and recall.

Think about, recall a time when or remember a specific place you felt happy. Maybe some activity you do makes you happy or a special person? Fox example, pick a specific instance of being with a person who you were happy with? What were you doing that made you feel happy? It could be anything, such as a sport, a conversation, seeing something happen, getting good news, being at a party. How the person looks at, speaks to or touches you. Anything!

People, Places, Activities, Time, or Things

To help you remember you can think of people, places, activities, things, or a time when you felt these feelings. For example, think of some activity that makes you feel good. Consider, what were you doing, who were you with, where were you?

Ask whatever questions you need to in order to recall more details from the positive memory. These questions can help make it more vivid. Ask, who, what, when, where, why and how did any of these make you feel?

Once you make this a habit you won’t have to consciously work so much. It will all come quite naturally. Search through your experiences and find them. Maybe you felt happy on a vacation. That particular place brings back happy memories. Or at home.

Any particular place, a quiet power spot no one knows about but you. Young or old. Memories from the past can be yesterday or go way, way back.

For some the smell of fresh baked bread will take them instantly to another comforting place and time. For others the smell of fresh cut grass does the same. Some people feel patriotic when they see symbols of their country. Music makes us feel many things, relaxed, loved, horny, powerful, heartbroken…

You Can And You Should Go And Find All The Wonderful Positive Memories From Your Past

You can find them. You will as you keep searching. Some are pretty available. This is an important part of self discovery and evolution.It is important to find and focus on the positive in our life more often because we become what we think about. It gives us much more to feel grateful about and celebrate.

What we think about we bring about. Birds of a feather flock together so we find that we get back more and more of what we are thinking about. Think positive!

What you are learning in this, of great importance, is that instead of remembering and reliving past disappointments and being a victim of them, or remembering past positive times with longing we can do something about it.

We don’t have to live with the hurt and the longing we can live positively happily and powerfully. We can fill our mind and being with the positive feelings, and images, and sounds of our positive experiences.

Imagine How Much More Wonderful Life Would Be If You Enjoyed More Positive moments overall.

Now you can. You can go back into your past and begin to unlock all the positive moments there are to relive and enjoy. These moments, these wonderful feelings constitute resources you can begin to use in the present and the future. You can literally transform your experience at any time.

Second: You Don’t Have To Go Back. You Can Imagine Yourself In The Future Behaving As You Want To Behave.

The ideal you! The person who has it all together. Imagine what you would look like and sound like if everything worked out well for you. You think positive, you feel awesome, and life is grand. As you imagine that notice how this makes you feel. Feel it! Enjoy the feelings!

You can pick any one of the states. Confidence, for example. Notice how you look. The look on you face. Your eyes, your smile your confident expression. Notice how you stand, move, walk and use you body to express being confident. See how you gesture while you speak confidently and with authority.

You are confident, you are self assured, certain, powerful and positive. Watch yourself, as if on a movie screen, and notice how you feel as you enjoy yourself behaving this way. Make it absolutely wonderful. Adjust it.

Make it wonderful this is you creating it. Just as an artist paints on a canvas paint a powerful mental image of you being confident (or whichever resource). It’s you mental movie make it exactly what you want it to be. Make it outstanding! After all, this is using your brain, your mind to imagine, so imagine the very best, Spend time enjoying the marvelous feelings.

Make These Inner Mind Movies Spectacular

Make them soothing if you need them to be relaxed. Joyous when happy. I’m sure you get the concept. Spend time living in this future world. Enjoy the future you in these mental movies. Enjoy the past movie memories.

Consider where you want to be like this, when, with whom, doing what? Use the questions to focus on different times and places in your near and distant future when you want to be resourceful like this. Imagine it fully.

Two Ways Of Seeing: Recalling And Creating

There is something else you may or may not be aware of. There are two ways you can create images and you can remember in your mind. You can watch an event with you in it as if you are watching a video, or selfie of yourself. You can see you and others and the location and the circumstances as a video or movie.

The second way of seeing is through your own eyes. It is your point of view (POV). You don’t see yourself but you see what you see as if in real life. For example, in the number one way of seeing you might see yourself sitting inside a new car from the outside the car on the drivers door side. Or you might see yourself through the windshield, or windscreen of the car right there with your hands on the wheel.

In the second way of seeing you are in the car, feeling what it feels to sit in the seat, comfortable or not. Leather or otherwise. You might smell the new car smell. And you would see your hands on the steering wheel and feel yourself griping it. You’d see out the windows, the dashboard and if you look down your lap and legs.

You don’t see the entire you because what you see is what you actually see in the real world when you look out of your eyes. Your Point Of View (POV).

So there are at least these two ways to see, recall and create. You want to recall your memories first however you recall them. You want to live within them and feel and see and hear everything you are able. You want to re-experience the good feelings. Then you want to do the other way.

So whether you first begin with POV or not notice it and after awhile spending time doing it this give the other way some practice time.

Repeated Correct Practice Makes A Perfect Habit

Remember, this is practice. This is how you are going to build a positive new habit. You will enjoy this habit building. You practice daily, whenever you are able, going back and finding positive times from your past and reliving them as fully as possible. Spend dedicated time doing this. Find as many as you are able. ONE at a time.

Build your mental library of resources. Spend dedicated time going into the future and imagining yourself with all the resources you want to have. One at a time. Imagine people, places, events, activities, situations where you want more of these good feelings and resources. It can be any time, not just a difficult time but wonderful times as well.

Imagine yourself living in the future positively and resourcefully. Build a library catalog of positive future resources. Spend dedicated time doing this too. Do it also whenever you can during your day. Practice both of these using both ways of seeing. Do one at a time. POV for while. The come back later and do those over again but see it as a selfie video. Practice that for while.

Eventually, you practice and do both. In doing these exercises you are building so many positive skill sets and will develop so many positive resources and habits it will amaze and delight you.

Stop! Take a breath and relax for a moment and imagine how fantastic life will be in the near, near future as you feel, think and act so much more resourcefully. Imagine how incredible you will feel as you tap into your inner resources more frequently and fill your daily moments in this way.

We Become What We Think About. What Consumes The Mind Controls Us

You now have the opportunity to become more happy, confident, peaceful, secure, loving, patient any way you’d like to be more of. You can feel anyone of these and all of them more frequently in your day to day. Isn’t that wonderful? It really is! The more time you spent recounting, re-feeling, recreating, re-experiencing positive memories and moments the more you get back.

SO keep going back and finding them. Find one, then find another one. Have fun finding out how many positive, resourceful moments you have actually had. Some will be real easy to discover, the ones you always remember, but as you continue to look back you will unlock and remember others you haven’t thought about in a long time.

Project into the future again and again in a variety of ways. Imagine your future, specific times and places and people you want to enjoy more. You want to have more fun, delight, and resourcefulness. Spread all the wonderful good resources and feelings throughout your future.

The byproduct of doing this is that more of you present gets filled with positivity as well. You live better right now too! Imagine, you go back transform your past by looking for the good in it, you feel great right now and start getting results you want and you code you future for all this goodness too. Pretty cool, wouldn’t you say?

Do All These Exercises In The Spirit Of Fun, Exploration, Adventure, And Play

Somethings may happen quickly or slowly it doesn’t matter stay with it playfully. Somethings happen instantly some take longer that is just how it is. Consider doing this as if you are planting a beautiful garden.

You plant the seeds and they take time to grow. Some come up sooner than others but eventually the garden appears. Relax, enjoy, keep practicing and let it happen. The benefits will be there.

Some things are simpler and easier than others just stick with it. Speak gently to yourself through all this as if you were a loving, compassionate coach helping you along. If things are tough they are tough no reason to get discouraged. Have fun, be patience, keep the faith and it will pay off.

My son told me today, that doing the top of the pyramid on a three high (three levels of water skiers on each others shoulders forming a pyramid) is scary. BUT he does it any way. He faces his fear and makes the climb and even while on top it is scary but exhilarating. Keep going, don’t let anything stop you.

There is noting to fear I only use that example because some people get frustrated if everything doesn’t occur over night and quit. You have to face the fact that somethings just take some time.

So if they do be prepared to hang in there. You will discover so much more delight than you can ever imagine if you make this daily ritual, a daily routine and practice.

You can’t even yet begin to appreciate how everything can and will transform when you apply yourself in this way. I’ll share more next time as we continue this exploration.” Rex Sikes

Find enjoyment everywhere you look today!

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Do You Ever Get Hooked Bad? How To Get Unhooked!

June 1, 2015 rexsikes Leave a comment

“What do you do when you get caught up? Something happens and it bursts your positive bubble. Your momentum is thrown off, the apple cart upset. How do you react? How should you? How could you? Is there a better way to behave when when s–t hits the fan?

First, to ‘get caught up’ is an apt description. We get caught, hooked just like a fish. We think things are great and the next thing you know we swallowed a big hook. That sucks! What do we do?

We do whatever it is we do. Nature takes its course. We may get angry even while knowing it would be best not to. We may do things against our better judgement and against our own best interests. It happens. Sometimes we react without thinking and sometimes we react while thinking we ought to be doing something else.

We are hot and bothered but not in the good way. We are hurting, angry, scared, lashing out. We are desperate and convinced the world is ending or at least turing bad on this very point. We are absolutely hooked and we are reacting automatically. Again, we are caught up in it.

Whatever it is triggered a response from us. An unwanted, painful uncomfortable response. Maybe we yelled at ourselves. Perhaps, we shouted at a loved one or co-worker. We created pain for others too. Why not? Maybe they hurt us first? Right? Wrong!

Nothing justifies a poor, bad or negative reaction. There is no excuse for yelling at ourself or others. However, if that is what happen that is what happened. I will come back to this in a moment. The first thing is to acknowledge, whenever you become aware, is that you reacted as you did. Accept responsibility and realize you did as you did.

The truth is you went haywire. You lost control. You fought or fought back. Whatever it is accept it. There are consequences to our actions. For every cause there is an equal and opposite effect. You may have started other wheels spinning or like dominos you just knocked over the very first one.

Ok, that is what was, and what might be. First, accept responsibility without blaming yourself for your reaction. YOU reacted. YOU lost control. Sad to say so but that is what happened. Accept it without shaming yourself. That won’t help you end that issue.

Accept you behaved poorly, acknowledge it, and turn your attention to how you could have behaved or responded better or more appropriately. What could you have done differently, even though you didn’t?

Figure out what the most positive response is that could benefit everyone in a positive and productive way. How might you have behaved that could have kept things in check (possibly) instead of them rampaging out of control?

In order to behave better in the future you have to know what behavior you want instead. YOU just got slammed right in the face big time with the behavior you don’t want. Consider it a godsend. Pretend someone somewhere, the universe is sending you an incredible message and opportunity.

Your hot, negative, unwanted thoughts, feeling and behaviors are all exactly what you don’t want. Hopefully, the messenger gets through because the messenger tells you, ‘okay that happened, own up to it, make restitution, and NOW focus on what you DO want instead.’

You reacted instead of responded. You reacted to whatever the circumstances dictated and you fell victim to it. Hey, we all do it so blame is not the name of this game. Get over yourself. Determine your positive course, the positive thoughts, feelings, behaviors and results you want in your future instead.

The first key in getting unhooked is to notice that YOU got hooked. Then, once you notice it, you do what you need to to get unhooked. In the human’s case we need to focus on what we want and where we want to end up instead. We want more productive responses next time.

There are many ways to do this I will discuss in future blogs. We can use our imagination, our internal movie theater, self-talk, affirmations, Directed Questions™ and more for just this sort of thing.

My point is this: We evolve ourselves. In evolution somethings take time. Some things take repeated examples or exposures. Some lessons it seems we have to learn again and again until we eventually get it. AND THAT IS OKAY! That is just the way it is.

We may want it to be different. We may wish it were like all the promises the media makes for instant relief and magic gadgets but life is more like a flowering garden. Beautiful things just take some time to appear. We grow, adapt, and evolve.

So again no blame, no shame. The best thing you can do is acknowledge your reaction and pat yourself on the back and hope you will notice the next ones too. Praise yourself not for your reaction but for you becoming aware that you reacted and were focused on what you did not want. This provides you a choice point and the opportunity to change.

This increases the likelihood that you will become aware and notice quicker in future episodes because you aren’t punishing yourself. No one likes that. Well, at least fewer people do. Awareness is the doorway that opens for you to find new opportunity. Validate your awareness and it willingly works to benefit you.

Determine to respond better in the future. Again, I’ll share more later but if you read my blog regularly there are lots of tips and secrets and practices and principles you can apply right now to begin doing that.

Own your reaction. Take responsibility. Make an apology genuinely and promise to never do that again. Do whatever must be done to correct any wrong doing or harm. Help provide healing. Sometimes that means walking away too and leaving the other person alone if they request that. Be respectful!

That last point is an important one for behavior in the world. Walk away.

‘When we ‘react’ it causes pain because it is a ‘knee jerk’. It means we have no choice. We actually do have choice but it happens so fast or things start snowballing out of control that it seems as if we don’t and we can’t help it.

We always have choice and the choice point is right smack in the beginning. Something happens outside of us or within us to set it off. Things start happening. There is actually a sequence. It may seem one moment we are fine and the next we flew of the handle but there is an actual sequence of events that happen in real time.

Neurons fire. Neural pathways are activated. Signals are sent Hormones and chemicals are released. Our body is preparing for FIGHT OR FLIGHT!

In jungle days with real world predators we needed this to run very fast or fight very strong to survive. We need it much more rarely in our modern world and we don’t need it when most arguments ensue.

BUT IT IS THERE anyway. To serve us. Because we think we are being threatened when in fact we are, but not in that life-threatening way. We need to learn to better respond and adapt to our circumstances than be walking around as jungle cave people in the 21st century. Don’t you think?

Because there is a sequence it takes time. YES, it happens very fast. REALLY really fast. BUT you can still catch it. THAT is precisely why we want to encourage our awarenesses. We want to become aware as it is happening that there is something WE CAN DO instead.

We can actually divert the behavior into new more productive behaviors and new neural pathways.

We just have to catch the moment first. AT the very instant of the trigger, we are caught unawares, and then the body takes over and begins to release chemicals. As these chemicals and the neurons begin traveling their routes we feel the changes.

Maybe we get ‘hot under the collar’ or ‘red in the face’ maybe we ‘see red’ or feel tension increase. Anything, any way you describe it, is possible.

The point is to become aware as this happens. As the chemicals release its called Emotional Flooding. We get flooded with feelings and sensations. IF we notice them, again the reason awareness is important, we can change them right then. We have this choice brief choice point to give us time or room to respond differently.

Imagine for a moment you are at the top of a hill with a huge boulder. You are in front of it. It begins to roll down hill. ALL you have to do is put your arm out and you can stop it from rolling. You really can. The reason you can stop it is that it just began. You caught it right in the beginning.

It didn’t have time to build momentum. Had you been four or five feet away, or ten or more you would not be able to stop it at all. You would have to jump aside. It has too much momentum by then. It is the same with our emotions flooding us. If we catch them right at the beginning we can be different. IT can be different.

This flooding seems fast and is because the neural pathways have been traveled countless times before. They are well worn and utilized. In order to change we have to provide new pathways. It will take awhile for them to get well worn in too. Still, we do have choice.

Awareness is the first step. The second is to decide to choose what else to do instead. One of the best things to make habit is to take a very deep breath. Breath. Breath again. Breathing helps to change what is happening in the body. So does pacing or walking as long as you don’t use the walking to build momentum.

Take a deep breath. Change your body posture. Move, walk, don’t remain in the same place. Keep breathing slowly. EMT’s are known to have a person walk off the adrenaline when in an accident or a near miss.

When the flooding happens people get jittery as the chemical floods into the system. You can’t get rid of it, you can’t just dump it. but you can use it in a managed activity. Walking. You could skip or dance but on the street they also are concerned with safety. So move calmly and breath to better utilize what the body is giving you.

Take a breath. Create that pause in the flood. Use your own body to stop the momentum and you prevent the emotional boulder from shooting down the hill. You can stop the flooding. It can be done. You divert it into a more productive and less destructive path.

Choice is important. When you make a decision you can change your thoughts and feelings to respond in a more beneficial manner for yourself and others. You can choose to walk away from the fight.

It may not seem like it now but you really can. You can choose to do nothing at all. It does not, necessarily, require that anything be done just because you got hot.

When you create the pause, the gap, that room, you can begin to see that this is true. You don’t have to continue on you can respond differently!

The only way to decide differently is to create that space by making the pause happen. You create the pause, which slows the flood, you positively manage the resulting emotions converting them into other relaxed responses. You get your head clear.

You are creating new neural pathways. You are changing the old route to a new one. The result is the same as when you moved to a new residence. You have a different address. You end up in a different place.

You pause, (breath and move and continue to) you relax, let go, and continue as needed. You direct your mind to more useful places, thoughts and behaviors (Directed Questions™ were created for this).

YOU chose a new more productive, positive, useful response. It could be anything. As long as it isn’t the old one and it is positive and constructive you are doing yourself a great service.

You have just stopped the emotional flooding, got unhooked and created a new neural pathway to travel to a new address. Fantastic! Celebrate and be grateful!

Appreciate that you have taken control instead of being a victim of your own chemistry and emotions. You determined you were going to re-route them. Pat yourself on the back!

Just as when you actually move from one address to a new address you may, from time to time, discover yourself taking the old way to the old home. This can happen with behaviors too. In time, by taking the new route to the new place enough times you make it a well worn pathway.

You have lost nothing. You can still always find your way to the former residence, if you were to choose to. You haven’t lost anything, you aren’t deprived of anything. What changed is you have a new, more useful productive, constructive pathway to a beautiful new residence.

Travel there happily. You find you don’t even think about the old route but you could if you wanted to. How cool is all of this? Pretty wonderful, if you ask me. You always have choices available.

In the next blog I will share with you a ways to wire this in. The one after that I’ll discuss developing a new mindset to give yourself new choices. Meanwhile celebrate and enjoy!” Rex Sikes

Find delight in your day and night!

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Stop Living In Pain! Connect The Dots To Feeling Better

May 30, 2015 rexsikes Leave a comment

“Have you ever played connect the dots? You know, you start at one dot and follow each until an image emerges. Will you do it with your life? Can you look back and see how each event that stands out in your mind and each decision you made has lead to where you are right now?

At each historic event in your life there may have been many pathways to alternate results. Can you see how your decisions at each point have lead you to where you are today? Can you see that? While it may appear there were any number of possible choices and outcomes can you see that given your decision you are right where you are supposed to be?

I do not mean you were predestined nor do I mean someone other than you is dictating the outcomes. What I mean is given the choices you have had in your life can you, or are you willing to see, looking back, how the decisions you made were stepping stones to the present?

I’ll give you an example. I had someone I deeply loved who broke up with me as a young man. I was horribly crushed. I didn’t want a future without her. Had she not broken up with me I would not have the incredible children I have today.

While it may be true I may have had other children and been happy had we stayed together we did not. What I do have are two children I love and adore and could not be happier as a result. Do I mourn the breakup now? Absolutely not.

I had a car accident that kept me laid up for a long time in a part of the country that wasn’t my home. As a result I eventually met the woman who became the mother of my children. Had I not had the terrible car accident I would never have had these children.

Do you see what I mean? Now, in these examples it appears I am only pointing to events outside my control. Things that happened to me. That is part of it. It is what the universe offered. Events happen. Inside of each I made countless decisions that affected my present at that time and the future outcomes.

For example, I stayed after recovery to have the relationship that lead to my children. Had I chosen to return home and not continue the relationship I would not have my kids. I had to give up certain things in one part of the country to have other things in another part of the country.

One of the points I am trying to make is that each dot leads to another and the entire picture emerges but we don’t see it all at one time. We don’t know the eventual outcome. How we view each dot is important. I could abhor my present and look back and see how each dot has lead to now, and how I might have decided otherwise.

No point crying over spilt milk. Yes, you or I may have decided otherwise at anytime but did not. Get over it is the only thing to do. We can not, nor should we, regret the past. If we can’t change it we should find a better use of our thoughts and our time.

We can use those feelings though to decide to change our present and have a better one. We can determine to have a better future too. This is when past exploration is useful if it leads to a set of wiser choices in the now that we can make.

Otherwise, sifting through the crap in our lives, living hurt and disappointment over and over again is a pointless, devastating use of time. A key to having a happy life is knowing how to use your mind to look for and find what you want. Another key is knowing how to spend your time doing what brings you those results.

Look into the past and recognize choice points. Notice how upheaval events, big boulders, are the stepping stone to now, and without them you would not be who you are today. Whether or not you successfully negotiated those, whether or not you appreciate the outcome they are part of your history.

Therefore, they have helped determine who you are today. For goodness sakes be grateful!!!

Without them, perhaps, everything would be different. However, there is NO without them. They are historically in you past. Examine how those events, no matter how horrible, have contributed to you. You have lived on. Days, weeks, maybe years have passed since that time, those times. Appreciate this!

If you are dragging the boulders with you everywhere you go that is a difficult way to travel. You need to put them down and let them go. You need to examine how, no matter how terrible they may have been and how life crushing they were at the time, those very events are disguised blessings. Appreciate this too!

Inside each were, as there always IS, choice points we face. There are always decisions we have to make. In each decision we made, whether the result was better or worse, is the seed of opportunity for betterment. Find the seeds! They are within the dots!

Whatever we did, however we chose, brought us to right now. If you don’t like where you are right now, maybe you can imagine, whether true or not, a greater force trying to get your attention to make better decisions. My guess, it is not coming from outside you but from within you. YOU are trying to get YOUR attention.

Negative feelings are your way of signaling YOU that you need to make a change. They are telling you you are focused on the wrong things. You are focused on what you do not want. The signal value will get as loud as necessary for you to hear it and change things.

Some people, instead of recognizing the signal and changing what they are doing, live with the negative feelings. Imagine, a messenger shows up at your home and instead of taking the message and acting on it you invite the messenger to live with you. Some people tolerate negative feelings and pain instead of making change that benefits them.

They are simply mistaken. The don’t realize the feelings are there to get their attention The feelings are yelling “HELLO! IS this bad enough yet? HELLO, HELLO? okay well then we’ll ramp them up and see if this get’s you to pay attention. HELLO HELLO!”

On and on it goes as a vicious cycle because the human isn’t aware of why those less than glorious feeling are there. They are there so you DECIDE to change your focus. That is all they truly are! Use them don’t continue to be abused by them. Stop and change what you are paying attention to. Stop paying attention to the negative thoughts and feelings!!! Use the feelings only as a guide, as a messenger!

You can’t change the past but you can use the past to change what you are presently doing so that you get better results. Part of this evolutionary self change means reframing the past as necessary. Look at it and assign different meaning to it.

Assign a more useful and productive meaning to it. Notice how each dot follows the other in some way as a road map to now. Find the good in each disappointment and you are doing something incredibly valuable for yourself! You will transform the past when you find the good. The result will be a better present and future!

You don’t have to live in regret and personal woe. At this moment there is a choice what to do with the past. You can keep hurting or you can decide to live happily and victoriously. Even considering these notions is a choice point for you. What will you do?

I hope you will look at each moment meaningfully and positively and find the good that has come from each disappointment. Sadly, many people miss all the positive, incredible, stepping stones in their life because they only see the boulders.

That is narrow, limited vision and no way to live. One only lives that way because they made looking for what is wrong a habit. You can change that! There is plenty of wonderful events and good too that should not be missed. Habits should serve you you should not serve habits.

Silver lining surround every dark cloud but we have to look for it. We need to find the good. Train your mind to find the good, especially if you have never trained it to do so. If you have not deliberately trained your mind to find the good, to see the positive, to celebrate everything, then you won’t. Make it a habit!

Your mind will run on and on doing whatever it learned to do haphazardly and carrying out the programming given it by others. That is not how you want to live and use your mind. Claim it back and train it to find the strength, the confidence, the happiness and joy that are there that you are missing because you don’t know where or how to look. You can do it!

This moment is an opportunity for you to take control, resolve the past, forgive and let go. It is an opportunity to make the present marvelous and move into the future with confidence, power and joy. It is the opportunity for you to create what you want instead of living as you don’t want.

You always have choices whether you know it or not. Only, you have to decide. NO decision, to not make one, is actually a decision to do nothing. Waiting is only waiting. Someday never comes, today is all we have. You and I can live it positively, happily with an attitude of gratitude for everything that came before and what we have now.

When we are grateful for everything, truly grateful, there is immense power within you to create and attract anything and everything you want. You become a magnet for blessings, opportunities and advantages. Celebrate everything!

You live with purpose, deliberately using your thoughts and feelings to have fabulous day no matter what crap the world hurls your way. When you are grateful for everything. When you are grateful for every decision you made, regardless of the outcome, you are beginning to take responsibility for you. When you can take 100% responsibility for you is when the miracles begin happening!

Then nothing is left up to chance, nor to anyone else. You are the captain of your life and the master of your fate and the creator of your circumstances. You become more fully alive and dynamically charged. There are no blames, no excuses only celebration and gratitude and this is an incredible way to live.

You can have it all when you decide to take charge. When take responsibility for all your decisions, your thoughts, feelings and actions you are the master of these and your life becomes magical! It is absolutely wonderful. Yes, crap may happen, but life is wonderful.

Won’t you do this now for yourself? “Rex Sikes

Be good and kind to yourself today!

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What To Do When You Don’t Feel Like It

May 28, 2015 rexsikes Leave a comment

“What do you do when you don’t feel like it? You want to but you don’t? You wish you felt like it but… You know it would be good for you to do it. What are you supposed to do?

DO IT ANYWAY!

Somehow, some people have grown up thinking that if we don’t feel like it then we shouldn’t do it. Our feelings run the show. I am not sure this is normal or natural. For example, It seems that some people have been brave and did amazing things while filled with fear. I am sure they didn’t ‘feel like it’.

They were terrified but acted anyway. They did not let fear stop them. Some people are idiots who have no fear when they should have, but sometimes ordinary people behave in extraordinary ways.

Gandhi fasted. I am sure he felt hungry. He resisted the urge to meet violence with violence. He found another way. Victor Frankl was imprisoned, held captive, yet, felt free within his spirit. He did not let his captivity or his captors crush him.

We have been mislead. We are told feelings matter. They do, but not in the manner we think is most important. It is important to recognize and validate feelings. Feelings drive the show in messaging the subconscious.

We should feel good most of the time in order to make our lives what we want them to be. We should feel good in pursuing our goals and in getting what we want. Feelings are indicators when we are off track and focused on what we don’t want.

Consider The Concept Of Enlightenment

Whomever we are, we are not our thoughts, we are the thinker who thinks the thoughts. We are not our feelings. We are the one who produces feeling in response to our thoughts. We are beyond our thoughts and feelings, yet, most of us think we are our thoughts and feelings.

Some people think if we ‘can’t’ do it, well then, it can’t be done. If we don’t ‘feel like it’ then we won’t do it. Neither of these statements are accurate unless we accept them as accurate. If we accept these notions as true then we are limited by these notions. Still, we know others have accomplished much even when facing incredible personal or real world odds.

Let’s make it even simpler. There are those who, by discipline, exercise ever day even when they don’t feel like it. It’s true, not every day seems like a good day to go to the gym. Some maintain eating a particular way or diet even when they don’t want to.

The military conditions people to do all sorts of things when they may feel otherwise. People don’t have to feel like it in order to do it. Although most of us think we have to because if we don’t feel like it then we just don’t do it.

There may be times when this is acceptable. There are times when it isn’t. Your employer won’t tolerate it for very long if you don’t feel like coming into work often. There are things we do because we must even when we don’t want to or feel like it. So we are capable.

If it is good for you, in your best interests, and you don’t feel like it GO AHEAD and do it anyway. Don’t be a victim to your less than glorious thoughts and feelings. Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and just do it anyway. Use some intestinal fortitude.

Become Disciplined

Perhaps, that is what discipline is. The ability to be consistent and persistent in spite of our feelings or obstacles that may attempt to prevent us. We stay on course no matter what the distractions.

We focus and aim at the target and do not waiver. Sometime you just have to stick to it. Don’t be like a cork bobbing on the water going wherever the current takes it. Be the captain of your ship. Be in charge of your own power so you can steer yourself and get yourself to wherever you want to go.

You should be the victor and not the victim of your thoughts, feelings, and circumstances. You can be a champion. In order to be a champion you have to stop with the excuses. You have to take responsibility. You have to persist and be willing to see it through even if you don’t feel like it.

You don’t feel like cleaning the house. Do it anyway. In fact, do it first before you do anything else. Don’t let it sit out there as a task looming over you. Get it out of the way. Take charge, take action.

Take a small step in the right direction and then do another one after that. Then another and before you know it you will be done. Every time you go in and out of a room make it a point to put something away. Soon your house will be cleaner.

Find ways to accomplish whatever you need to. Stop excusing yourself for not feeling like it! DO it anyway. You will feel better about yourself in the long run. It can be a good feeling when you push through it because you discover you were capable all along.

The trick is not to play the blame game or the excuses game. Just do whatever is in your best interest. Be responsible. Take responsibility for your thoughts, your feelings and your actions. Run them instead of letting them run you. You can be aware of them without letting them dictate who you are and what you are able to do.

You Have Choices

Something, has come along and upset your life. Some bad event. You got thrown off course. You feel like chucking it. At this moment you don’t want to put on a happy face and feel better. You prefer to curse it and stew in it. Okay that is a choice. How soon do you think you will feel better? Time will take care of it. It may?

What have you learned by this? Sit and let things do whatever they do. Wait and when ready resume. It is an option probably valid at times. However, you are not in charge. Something else is in charge of you. Think about that for a moment.

You could take charge. You could determine your destination and the course you want to travel. You could make it a point to do something that makes you feel a bit better. You can do anything positive to feel a bit more positive.

You begin to move in that direction even when you may not feel like it. You inch your way along until you can take bigger steps. You don’t deceive yourself with limited thinking. You don’t whine, complain, blame yourself, the circumstances or anyone else.

You push through it and surprise yourself that you can exceed your limitations. You discover you can go much further when you allow yourself, even if you have to force yourself. What have you learned by this? Think about this for a moment.

You can be victim or victor. It really is up to the decision you make. After all, it is your life. You may not be in a prisoner in a cell like Victor Frankl, you may be a free person. If you are a free person act like it. Be free. Act free.

You Are Beyond You Thoughts And Feelings. Act Like It

Use your feelings Don’t be used by your feelings. Recognize them for what they are. They are a signal system. The indicate whether or not you are on track and closing in on your goal. When you are feeling positive you are on course.

When they are less than glorious they indicate you are off track and you are paying attention to what you don’t want. You won’t make your life better thinking and pursuing what you do not want. So the negative feelings provide you the opportunity to change direction and move back towards what you do want.

Don’t be a prisoner of limited thinking. Stop thinking ‘I can’t’ and begin thinking ‘I can!’ Exceed your limits. Go beyond them in ways that delight and surprise you. Don’t let your thoughts or feelings stop you from doing something that truly benefits you or others. Find the ways to let go and make it happen. Start living your positive dreams!” Rex Sikes

I’ll share more that you can do to feel ‘like it’ when you don’t in upcoming blog.

Be good to yourself today!

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How To Stop Brain From F’ing You Up

May 28, 2015 rexsikes 1 Comment

“Who do you imagine yourself to be? What do you say about who you are? What do you think and say and imagine about what you have done, can do, and will accomplish? What you think about you bring about! What are you thinking and saying about yourself to yourself and others throughout each day of your life? Whatever it is you can bet you are fulfilling it.

If you want to make permanent, positive changes, easily, then you need to work with the system. What you have been affirming all your life may be the reason you have been stuck. Those limiting ‘I’ statements we say to ourselves and others keep us the same. What you hold in your head you will hold in your hand!

Thanks for joining me for Part 2. Continued From Previous Post: If Your Computer Is Sabotaging You; Fix It!

See Yourself As You Wish To Be ‘As If’ You Already Are

Maltz suggested we spend time each day visualizing ourselves as we wish to be. He had specific recommendations that included imaging our goals as already complete. See ourselves as we would be if we right now had those changes. We should visualize ourselves as having already made the changes we want to make. We should see the end result.

Imagine your life and actions in as much detail as possible, as it would be, if you were precisely the way you hope you will be. Imagine it ‘as if’ the change has already been made and you are living as you hope to. Inside your head, live, think and act as if that future you is right now.

I have shared with you previous blogs why this works. The brain can’t tell the difference between an imagined image and a real one on the outside. I have shared with you the research. It would be well worth it to go back through my blogs and re-read as many as you can. Study these principles and practices daily and you will make your dreams come true!

Spend time imagining what you want each day, morning and night. Imagine it as already accomplished and enjoy the feelings that accompany this. These wonderful, powerful feelings combined with the new imagery informs the unconscious, our subconscious servo mechanism (servant mind,) that THIS is what we want.

Maltz, leaders of the New Thought Movement, ancient philosophers and practitioners also prescribed this. While this may be new to you or some people today, it has been around working forever. The sad truth is that few apply it. I hope you won’t be one to pass up having everything you want in life for the reasons we are discussing here.

Earl NIghtengale referred to it as ‘the strangest secret’ because as he pointed out, it is not secret at all. These working principles are well known but few ever apply them. That secret is: you become what you think about most during your day and night. The secret is hidden in plain view.

Strong, Intense Emotions Run The Show

Visualization, combined with intense positive emotion, repeated again and again brings about the change. You must be consistent and persistent and not waiver or give up. We bring about what we think about. The more passionate, the greater the desire, the more intense the feelings the stronger the message signal.

I have shared how our less than glorious emotions run the show because of their intensity. When we are angry, raging, fearful or sad, when we worry and doubt these bring us more of the same because what we focus on we get back.

Powerful emotions drive the subconscious. Powerful emotions combined with what we focus on, whether we focus intentionally on what we want, or unintentionally on what we don’t want, cause us to get back more of the same. The signal value is high. This is the language the subconscious understand and replicates. The language IS powerful emotions combined with images in our head.

The subconscious only knows to give you more of the same. Whatever you are feeding it the subconscious gives back. Positive or negative. Wanted or unwanted.The key to getting what you want is intention. You intend to get positive results BY focusing on what you want and enhancing your positive thoughts and feelings! The more you feel good as you think about yourself now and in the future the more that is the present and future you get back.

Imagine how you want to be, feel, do and what you want to have as if it has already come true. This is important because if you imagine it in the future, out there, it will stay in the future. Someday never comes. Our subconscious works to make it happen as we imagine it. FEEL IT FULLY! Embrace the positive feelings.

Since we can’t imagine every detail, I like to include a disclaimer that I think and repeat. ‘this or something better’ because I am completely into being happily surprised. By repeating it over and over in your inner movie theater combined with strong positive ‘feel good’ feelings you deliver the message to the subconscious which ultimately receives the signal, the message and acts on it.

Change Your Self Image And You Can Change Your Habits

In this manner you develop the habits and behaviors in alignment with your new self image. The results of intentional visualization combined with strong intense positive feelings repeated over and over is the message, you want, gets through through to the subconscious and we then begin to think, feel and behave consistent with our new self imagine.

As you begin to change the inner image you speak to yourself more positively. Your self-talk becomes nicer and more inspiring. You begin to think in terms of yourself as an ‘I can learn to do anything’ type of person.

You become a ‘can do’ person. You learn you can change anything inside you AND when you change the inner you – you realize you can change anything outside yourself as well. Use your self-talk wisely. Speak only to bless, heal and prosper. Stop blaming and criticizing and making excuses for yourself.

You’ll see new advantages and opportunities you may have missed before. You become alert to them because now you see in new ways. The inside changes first. You make new connections and form new neural pathways. You are evolving your brain and yourself.

Your self image determines what you become. The outer matches the inner. If your inner world is impoverished your outer world will be too. If your inner world sucks the results you get will suck as well. It takes a wake up call to change.

Sometimes, you just get sick and tired of being sick and tired. Sometimes, it is a large upheaval in a person’s life that causes the individual to snap into ‘I have to change’ mode. Sometimes, it is just a review of what your life has been or is like.

As Above So Below; As Within So Without

If your outer circumstances suck change your inner world! Change what you have been doing and you will begin to notice things in your life changing. Begin from within. Change your inner vision and you will change your world as you see yourself.

As you become a new person within the outer world conforms to your self image of yourself. You fix the outer world by first fixing the inner world.

Self Image and habits go together. Change your Self Image and your behaviors change to be consistent with the new you. As you repeat the new behaviors they become new positive habits. As you develop the new positive habits you become more confident and competent and this reinforces the new positive Self Image. You really do evolve yourself!

If you don’t see yourself happy, wealthy or successful you won’t ever develop those behaviors as long as you don’t see it. However, as you being to see yourself as happy, wealthy and successful and you feel it within and you believe it; and you move through the world with these thoughts and feelings you begin to behave in happier, healthier, wealthier and more successful ways.

You bring about the outer change by having changed the inner. Maltz, Hill, Wattles, and so many others before them, and since them encourage you to make yourself and your life what you want it to be. No one can do it for you. You may have adopted the image of yourself and the beliefs you grew up with from others but you don’t have to keep any you don’t want. Those have brought you to today!

Today, the decision is yours. Only you can improve your own Self Image. Only you can make your mind, your thoughts and your imagination work for you. End the limitations, learn to be free. Enjoy a new day and a new life when you decided to take charge. Update the computer and get it working for you automatically instead of against you!” Rex Sikes

Thrill yourself with all good things!

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The Easy Way To Keep Your Life & Career From Going Bad

May 26, 2015 rexsikes 2 Comments

” The goal, as I write in these pages, is to feel the best you are able to at any given moment. Even, if you only feel a little bit better, that is what matters. It matters that you move yourself in the positive direction of feeling good. The results can be amazing!

It absolutely matters that YOU choose what you want to make yourself feel because it has an incredibly powerful and profound lasting effect. Your life can absolutely change from bad to better and from better to best when you apply these principles and practices.

Steer Toward The Positive

I have mentioned numerous times that it is necessary to cultivate the ability to steer back toward the positive. This is a skill that can be developed. ‘How?’ you ask. Take 100% responsibility for your thoughts and feelings. Promise yourself you will learn to be in charge.

Train your mind to see the good in everything. Train yourself to find the best feelings you are able to at all times. Keep your focus on the positive. What seems impossible to do at first and requires discipline becomes easier and easier the more you do it.

Develop These Abilities As Habits

Make your thoughts and feelings work for you instead of you working for them. It is said about the wealthy they don’t work for their money. They have learned how to make their money work for them. It’s true! They make money while they sleep from a variety of sources.

The same is true about your thoughts, attitude and mindset. Make your mind work for you instead of you being a victim of it. Learn to control your thoughts and feelings. Be the master not the servant. They do not teach you this in school unfortunately.

Usually, we are taught we have no control over anything but if we work hard we can succeed. Consider it one of the best kept secrets ‘they’ don’t want you to know about. You can control your thoughts and feelings.

Your Mind Is The One Thing You Can Have Complete Control Of

Once you master your mind you can shut it off. You can give up control once you have it, whenever you like. Once you learn that your thoughts are subject to your will you realize YOU are bigger than your thoughts. You are bigger than your thoughts.

You will be in charge of the thoughts you think instead of you thinking that the thinking is going on outside of your control. Do you get that? It is a silly thought to think that you can’t control what you think. Why would you ever think that. You wouldn’t if you were in charge of your thoughts.

You think those kind of silly things because somewhere in your life time you co-opted the thoughts of others. You didn’t even realize that was what you were doing while it was going on but it was.

You adopted thoughts from others as your own instead of thinking for yourself. Realize you have power to seize control and seize it! Anyone can do it. Few actually will. Be one of the few that do instead of the countless that won’t. Make your live wonderful!

If you think silly, useless or stupid, destructive thoughts, or weak, wimpy, powerless thoughts that is what you get back. You will get back in results THE Results of your crappy ineffective thinking. Is that what you want? If the answer is no then now is the time to learn to take control.

Decide What You Will Think And Feel

Control means you decide what you will think and feel. It means you allow what you want to experience and ignore or eliminate that which you don’t. It means you can start thoughts that help you and stop those that don’t. When you want to meditate or relax you can choose your thoughts or turn them off.

You can’t relinquish control if you don’t have it in the first place. You have to be in control to let go of control. Control means you train your mind and make your mind YOUR servant. Make your mind work for you automatically instead of you working for it.

You only have to move yourself incrementally in the right direction bit by bit over time, repeatedly, in order to learn how to manage your thoughts and feelings. It is similar to learning to ride a bike or drive a car or anything else you have ever learned to do. It is a skill, and ability you can get better at and get good at the more you do it.

Correct Repetition Builds Skill And Brings Benefits

The more you do it and the better you get at it the more confidence and competence you develop. The more you do it the more you are able to do and the better you feel. It continues this way. Everything begins getting better because you started making small but purposeful changes.

The art is learning to promote what you want to grow and enjoy and to let go of that which causes pain or suffering. Plenty occurs in the world that we might get caught up in for any length of time. Awareness, is when we notice we are not doing what we want to, we are not working according to plan and we steer back onto track.

Instead of feeling bad about going off course we celebrate getting back on course. All of us can go off course. That is part of living. Getting back on course is what we learn to do. We are gentle and loving and accepting of ourselves through it all. We find reasons to enjoy life and celebrate.

If I Can Do It I Know You Can Probably Do It Even Better

I choose to think about my children. I focus on how lucky I am to have them in my life and how great I feel. I count my blessings in many other ways. Family, friends, opportunity, difficult life lessons, experiences, travels, talents, events, all make up my life and my world. I am grateful for all of it. My life is perfect each moment.

When I focus on these things, before you know it, I feel much better. It is easy to feel better when we devote a bit of time to it. Because birds of a feather flock together once we find the first thing, or first few things to celebrate more flock to our mind. We find other things to become thankful about and celebrate.

Remember all the reasons you usually feel delighted. Don’t just intellectually recount these but feel them. Really allow yourself to feel the gratitude and the celebration.

I write this today because sometimes we can benefit from a nudge in the right direction. Keep at it. Make it a habit. It gets easier and easier. Any bumps in the road are there for you to learn how to not be thrown of course by bumps in the road. Pretty soon you can navigate pretty much any way. Enjoy and celebrate the process!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today!

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Do This One Tiny Change And You Can Move Mountains!

May 25, 2015 rexsikes Leave a comment

“Some people think in order to make positive, permanent, pervasive, change that they must change everything at once in order to get anything at all. That is just not true. What is true is you must change something but you don’t need an entire make over.

You have heard me say, or you have read in my writings a favorite quote, ‘drop by drop fills the tub’. Or I ask, how do you eat and elephant? Answer, ‘Bite by bite’. You know the famous quote, ‘A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step’.

Small changes can be powerful. When NASA shoots a rocket to the moon its internal guidance correction system is making micro corrections all the while to keep it on course. That’s because if the rocket blasts off and is 1/10 of 1% off course near the time of lift off within a short while it will be hundreds of thousands, even millions of miles off course.

If you were driving straight in the salt flats and you turned your wheel just a tiny bit and locked it in right there soon you would be miles and miles away from the straight line you were traveling in. That small adjustment takes you way off in another direction.

So it is true if you are aiming at a target destination and you get off course by only the tiniest little bit you will be off course by a lot very soon.

The other truth is if you want to change your life it only takes a little bit of change to make a serious amount of large change. That tiny correction you make will take you very far in improving your life.

You exclaim, ‘I don’t have the time, the energy or the money to make changes right now!’ That is okay. Make one small change you can stick with and you will be amazed with the results you can get.

Whatever it is. Perhaps, it is dedicating yourself to reading a page or more of inspirational material each and every day when you get up. That isn’t much to commit to. 1 single page. Certainly, you could do more if you want but you could do at least a page.

Maybe you decide to listen to inspirational audio while you drive. That’s a great time to listen to motivational inspiring speakers. It is also a great time to shout out with enthusiasm your daily affirmations. It’s an excellent time for either or for both.

Or, you decide to spend 5 minutes focused on your goals first thing in the morning when you get up. You visualize yourself seeing yourself as already having all the changes you want. You imagine living and behaving in that positive reality.

Perhaps, you spend 5 minutes laughing when you arise. 5 minutes non-stop laughing. Or you laugh during your drive. You could commit to smiling more though out the day. Maybe, you commit to doing things each day that put a smile on someone else’s face.

You might decide to spice up your life by trying new things. You use your opposite hand to eat, shave, comb your hair. You drive different ways to school or work. You walk places you have never been. You sleep with your head at the foot of the bed. Anything!

You keep a journal of all you are grateful for and as you list each thing you real spend a moment feeling the wonderful feelings. You decide to be nicer to the people around you.

You pay attention and really listen to people to understand. You monitor and manage your self-talk for a certain amount of time during the day. You meditate for 5, 20, 30 minutes a day.

You make it a point to stop complaining and blaming and you only speak about those things that uplift and make you and others feel good. You accentuate the positive. You speak only to bless, heal and prosper yourself and others.

You don’t have to do all of these.You could. Certainly they are all manageable. But don’t bite off more than you can chew.

Pick one and commit to doing for no less than 30 days and perhaps a whole lot more. You will be surprised at what a difference it can make.

A little change, like a little faith, can move mountains.

Maybe, as you go along you discover you want to and can add in other things. DO whatever pleases you and makes you feel wonderful.

But if you do nothing nothing will change.” Rex Sikes

Fill your day with delight!

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