Category Archives: Persistence

What Should I Do When I Screw Up?

horizon footsteps in snow

“Have you ever let yourself down? You wanted to do one thing but did another? You made some progress in a given area only to fall back into old behaviors? Have you disappointed yourself? Has this ever happened to you?

A coaching client of mine came to me frustrated stating, ‘I struggle to stay positive. Sometimes I am able. Sometimes I succumb to less than glorious thoughts and feelings. I let myself down in my program. I am frustrated and feel bad. Sometimes things are great and sometimes all hell breaks loose. It shouldn’t. I disappoint myself. What to do?’

The following constituted my answer. Happily, by applying these insights this person got over many hurdles and has gone on to accomplish some really fantastic things in career and life.  You can do anything with the right mind set. Remember, all things work together for good!

Forgive yourself

Be gentle, be kind and be accepting. It is okay. All things are possible. You are on a journey. There is no expectation of perfection. Forgive yourself and continue on. When you fall get up.

The only thing that happened was that you fell. Don’t judge it. Don’t be critical because you fell. Be thankful you didn’t get very hurt. If you did nurture yourself and take care to heal.

If when you fell you hurt others. Get up. Own up. Apologize and make amends. Make good. Take responsibility. Look them in the eye and assure them it won’t happen again. Do your best to keep your promise. AND keep your promise!

None of what I am saying is about letting yourself off the hook if you did wrong. It is all about responsibility and taking care not to repeat. There are ways to do this that move you along further more swiftly and there are ways that keep you stuck and repeating mistakes.

I want to help you discover how you can more easily and readily change in the positive ways you desire.

Nothing Is Wrong In Falling Down

Nothing is wrong about failing to do what you hoped to as long as you stay with it. If you quit, if you throw in the towel and give up, then, yes, you failed. You stopped by your own choice.

If you are going to do that then forgive yourself. You made a decision. Accept it, own it, be responsible for your choices. It is entirely okay. That is what you decided. Give yourself some credit.

Do not blame or criticize yourself or others. If later, you decide to try again so be it. If not, so be it. Just accept that you have the power to decide. Decide to live without blame and criticism. Decide to live with love and light and life. Decide to celebrate everything.

Everyone Falls Down Sometime

So what? Get up and go on if that is what you chose to do. As long as you continue to assert yourself, as long as you attempt to continue you are learning and growing. You are a work in progress. Make many mistakes. That is fine. Attempt not to make the same mistakes more than once.

If you make the same one again and again keep working to change it. Realize you have some efforting to do and accept it. Focus on what you want instead of the mistake and gradually you will make it less and less. You need to develop some new habits and new ways.

Aim at what you want. Stop trying to avoid at what you don’t want. When you slip up for self and others do what has already been suggested. Make good. Don’t criticize yourself and move forward.

You are growing and evolving. Accept that wherever you are IS where you are. It is right where you should be given the choices you have made. All systems require correction. Your thermostat changes and corrects for temperature fluctuations. It gets feedback from environment and makes adjustments.

Use Changes As Feedback And Course Correct

So if you make a mistake, or you get off your chosen course you correct it. Don’t judge, correct and move forward. Don’t add insult to injury by criticizing yourself for being human. Being human means getting up and falling down and getting up again. Any negative commentary is unnecessary.

If you find yourself commenting in negative ways stop it when you become aware of it. Don’t go into a recursive loop of criticizing yourself for criticizing yourself. Many people do this and it is unfortunate. Stop blaming it does absolutely nothing of value.

Free yourself of this and go on. Love and accept everything about yourself and stop judging your progress. Don’t try to be further ahead. You will get there when you get there. Accept and continue to move forward. Comparisons can cause pain. There is no need to compare.

Step By Step You Get Closer To Your Destination

Bite by bite you get nearer to completing the meal. Drop by drop the tub is filled. You will get there. Don’t let mistakes, obstacles, challenges or influences bring you down. If they do, accept it and move on when ready. Ease up on yourself.

The sooner you keep going the easier it is. ‘Get back up on that horse!’ and keep on riding. Soon enough you will get the hang of it. We may always make mistakes, so what? We may always have difficulty, so what? Expect the best of yourself. Remain optimistic. Be positive and have faith. You can do it.

Accept That You Are Wonderful

Through it all we can learn to and have an incredible life. We can be filled with light and life and love. We can celebrate all and our joy can know no bounds. As you positively progress, as you become more aware, congratulate yourself for the positive changes.

Acknowledge, validate, celebrate and be thankful. Encouragement in the positive direction will help you move forward faster. Delight and live with more joy. Make this part of your purpose. Have fun.

It is all within each of us, the capacity to discover your true nature, your true power and your true gifts. You will find that you are absolutely worthy and deserving. No need to think otherwise. You are wonderful, accept it and enjoy it!” Rex Sikes

Discover what is good and new about today and have some fun!

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so.

PSS  A great practice is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  COMING VERY SOON –  Daily Inspiration And Gratitude’s new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this and new content will be at new site. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. You will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. Please stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Do This Whenever You Feel Like Giving In, Giving Up or Quitting!

horizon sun rays clouds pathway

“Do you ever feel tired and want to throw in the towel? It seems like you have struggled for so long and your efforts just aren’t paying off. The days seem arduous and hardly worth it at times. You want to quit? Have you felt this way? It’s tough sometimes to smile and plod your way ahead. Sometimes you just want to give up, right!

Well, don’t!

Keep going!

Stop sniveling right there!

There are so many people who have faced incredible odds and who kept going and who persevered no matter what.  The problems, you and I face, what most of us face, while difficult yes, it isn’t a fraction of what others have  suffered through and triumphed over.

There is no failure if you keep going. There is only failure if you quit. Yes, you may feel like quitting a million times but hang in there. Tomorrow IS another day.

Sadly, we are so conditioned, growing up, expecting bad things and worse things that we often fail to realize that good things can also spontaneously, seemingly miraculously happen any instant. We don’t only have to be bothered by ‘bad news’ perhaps we could be plagued by good news.

Life IS what we make it. Expect good things and the best from yourself and you are much more apt to find these. Develop an indomitable spirit, cultivate a winning, champion attitude and a self confidence that moves you forward. Realize you can do! You can do anything you set your mind to do.

Or you can give up. I say, don’t quit!

Prevail! Be the victor!

Make what you want happen in spite of the challenges and obstacles. Stop focusing on what you don’t want, the hardship. Stop taking a bath in the crap. Get out, rinse off and get going forward.

What I used to think was, ‘if it could only be easier.’ I thought then everything would be great. I’d be happy and positive. Then I realized being happy and positive wasn’t only for the easy times it was to see me through the difficult times.

If I could be happy and positive when things weren’t going well then I had truly learned to live well.

Then I could be happier and positive more of the time. Then most of the time I could enjoy because my happiness and positivity wasn’t dependent on what was going on on the outside. If it were, then I would not have benefited much. I’d be a fair weather positive thinker, feeling good only when times were good.

The key is to learn to feel good no matter what the times are like.

It may be a difficult lesson to learn but it can be learned. The right attitude can see us through all sorts of times. We don’t have to be tired and defeated when times are hard we can be happy through them. Sure, we may feel like we want to quit. Don’t!

Instead, learn to transform those feelings into the means to take hold of your life and live as a champion. Live as a gladiator. Come through serious battle proud because it is a test of your mettle. Without challenge you wouldn’t be a victor. Without the troubles the good times wouldn’t mean much either.

You become what you think about most during your day.

What occupies your thoughts and feelings is what you get back. You create, attract or make happen what you enjoy most or fear most. The point is you are the chooser. You are the one who decides where to place your attention.

Use good taste.  Use good judgement. No more crap baths!

Focus on the positive, the ‘I can do anything’, the good, strong, powerful thoughts and feelings and keep your attention there. Magnify these, enjoy these, bask in these and you will get through tough times. You will transform your work,  your play and your life. You will make for yourself a life worth living! Celebrate It! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Notice something? It is an entirely new and different day! What is good and new about it?

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so.

PSS  A great practice is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  COMING VERY SOON –  Daily Inspiration And Gratitude’s new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this and new content will be at new site. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. You will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. Please stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Do Things Have To Get Bad For You Before They Get Good?

horizon orange flowers orange sky

“Are you one of these people? Do circumstances in life just go from bad to worse? There are some people who have to wait and let things get bad enough before they act. Is this you? They don’t move toward their goals. Instead they move away from discomfort. Things must get really bad before they get better. Many are like this.

This is known as the Pleasure/Pain Principle or The Carrot/Stick. Instead of moving toward the carrot, or the reward or pleasure they move away to avoid pain and punishment. When things are bad enough then they act. BUT not until they are BAD enough!

This is similar to the Last Straw Principle. They keep allowing pain and discomfort or bad events to pile up or circumstances and feelings to get so bad that they say, ‘Enough! That’s it! Never again!’ Finally, they act. You know the story. The camel’s owner kept piling straws on the camel’s back until it broke.

Many People Are Motivated By Pain And What They Don’t Want

In order for this person to be motivated it has to get really, really bad or bad enough. Some modern day guru’s have said, if this is you and you want to change, find a way to deliberately add on the pain until it gets so bad you do act in some way in your own best interests. I was never good at doing this deliberately.

If you are motivated by moving away from painful thoughts, events and circumstances this is how you are motivated. Until you learn to be motivated by focusing on what you do want and move toward it you will have to use what you have.

For example, some people decide they want to be rich and they move toward making money and having plenty. This is what they want and what they enjoy. They want to include money and having fine things in their life. They create positive circumstances to pursue.

Others don’t want to be poor. They hate being poor so they move away from poverty or lack.  They avoid it and want to exclude it as a possibility. They leave it behind.  If you are this latter person you may have experienced the struggle this type of motivation is.

You Need To Determine And Clarify What Your Do Want

You are driven by the need to not feel pain and to avoid what you don’t want. There is some benefit to this or in getting to the point of The Last Straw . Knowing what you do not want CAN help you clarify what you actually do want. If you spend time to decide precisely you can benefit immensely. Determine what you want!

Once you know exactly what you do not want then turn your attention to what you do want instead. Focus on what it is you want. Specify it. Make it real and desirable.  Turn your back on what you don’t want and put all of your attention and energy into creating and making what you want happen.

When you know what you want you are aiming at where you want to go. You have set your course and can move in A PURPOSEFUL direction. You can think intentional thoughts about it. You are able to close in on it step by step. The problem with the negative motivation is it is similar to running from a bear in an unknown woods.

You Must Focus On What You Do Want

While attempting to flee the bear you run anywhere you can. You attention is on not getting eaten. You run wherever you can. You may know you want safety but you don’t have time to plan. So you run to avoid the dire consequences. You don’t have a specific direction to go to. Any direction away from the bear is better.

It is important to realize that what you focus on you get. Call it  the Law Of Attraction or Karma, call it anything you like, the point is, whatever you put out you get more of it back. You plant one seed you get a lot more seeds back. Like attracts like. Birds of a feather flock together.

If you have to wait and wait until it gets bad enough for you to feel motivated to change you are focusing on what you don’t want. When you get enough of what you don’t want you then try to escape it. If this is you, the key to making it work is the moment you take action you must turn your attention to what you do want instead.

You Can Learn To Do Anything Persistence Is The Key

You have to shift your focus from what you do not want to what you do want. Keep you eyes and mind and thoughts on what you want. Then you are able to get what you focus on. What you think about you bring about. So you want to be thinking about what you DO want and not what you don’t want.

If while thinking about what you do you you notice yourself feeling less than glorious, not so good, or even bad then you have inadvertently slipped back into thinking about what you don’t want. The negative feelings are the signal to let you know you have gone off course. It is so wonderful we have feelings as an internal guidance system.

Feel good means you are focused on what you want. Feel bad means you are focused on what you don’t want. To have an enjoyable life you want more pleasure and far less pain. What you think about you bring about. So if you are thinking less than glorious thoughts you will be feeling less than glorious feelings. It is quite simple actually!

Both forms of motivation are possible. I find that it is more positive and powerful and feels better, once you know what you want,  to move toward what you want to have. I prefer to be drawn toward it magnetically than to be escaping from something I abhor. It is here, where what we focus on and how becomes meaningful.

Your Feelings Are A Great Guidance System

If you are focused mostly on what you don’t like and don’t want, if that is mostly what you see and experience then how do you get out of it. If all you notice is poverty and lack, if what you experience is not having what you want, you probably aren’t feeling very well or thinking very powerfully because you are focused on what sucks.

The good news is this: You learned to do that. Perhaps, at the time you didn’t realize you were learning it but that is what you did. It is a skill and it did serve a useful purpose at the time. AND we can learn to do many things. You made that a habit you can learn to make getting what you want easier and moving toward what you want a habit.

I have already told you how.  Countless times within all these blog pages. Go through it and read. The key is deliberately shifting you focus and keeping it there. It will be odd at first, a little uncomfortable or unfamiliar while you try a new thing but just as in learning any skill, stick with it, and you will master it. You will make it a new and useful beneficial habit. You can do this and when you do more good things are in store for you!” Rex Sikes

Savor the seconds, make marvelous the minutes, delight in the day!

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so. If you benefit from these words please help someone else benefit too.

PSS  A great thing to do is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS  

*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Do You Know What The Greatest Deception Is?

horizon barn and clouds

“Have you ever considered the impact on you messages from outside of you have? How you have been shaped and molded by those around you from birth until today? We are bombarded every second with messages from others.

Parents, friends and advertisers put out messages in all shapes and sizes in all forms and media. Countless times each day, from when we get up until we go to sleep there is an endless stream. It never ceases. These messages are part of our lifestyle as much as air and water.

We were raised to plan for a rainy day. To be careful, to save and to not put all our eggs in one basket. Some of us were taught to have fall back plans in case our original goals met with failure. We were told our dreams were unrealistic. We were told to try it for a while and if it doesn’t’t work out do something else.

You Have Believed What You Have Been Told

Many were told to get ‘a real job’, ‘a decent job’ and to settle for that. Stop being fanciful. Stop being a dreamer. No one can make money that way. You must work to get ahead. Be happy with what you have. You are too young or too old to do what you want. You don’t have what it takes mentally, physically or emotionally.

Be careful. Take it easy. Watch out for strange men. . It is a hard, cruel world. You name it we received endless messages, repeated again and again, from loving, caring, well meaning people who tried to keep us safe and sound. They loved us and didn’t want to see us hurt. Other messages came from teachers, adults, authority figures, governments, peers and the media and still do.

These messages were (and are) that we aren’t enough; we look funny with funny hair;  we need deodorant because we smell; our teeth aren’t right; we are out of step, fashion and style. We don’t drive the right car; we love or hate the right or wrong people.

Limiting Messages Come From Everywhere

There ought to be a law about;  you need to be a good patriot. Follow the rules; don’t make waves. You will never amount to anything. If you don’t have what celebrities have (or your neighbors) you are nothing. We have been told again and again that we need something more to complete us because we just ain’t enough.

At some point you encountered Positive Thinking or  the Law Of Attraction and you are told that many of the messages you have been getting for all of your life may not be accurate. You are told to ignore, drop or change those prior messages because that is not the real you. You are told things now that you may not even accept.

You are wonderful, deserving, abundant, talented, healthy, and you have access to all good things. You can do it if you think you can. Anything is possible! If you can conceive it and believe it you can achieve it. You are told you are worthy and wonderful, and to have faith in yourself. You can be, do and have anything you want!

Anything Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Poorly At First

These messages encourage you to find your abilities, strengths, resources and talents; to look within yourself to get over past hardship and disappointment and to enjoy an incredible present while creating a marvelous future. These messages say you can do it!

Your mind, already conditioned with habitual fears, stories, doubts, reasons, excuses, blames and all those prior messages from others, responds the way it was conditioned to. It doubts it, fears it, it is skeptical, it denies and all the rest.

You attempt positive thinking and up comes that old conditioning. You encounter resistance. You think it is harder than you anticipated. Perhaps, you fall back into the old way of thinking and abandon the new thoughts altogether. Many do. You wouldn’t be the first. If you stick with it you will join the elite club of those few who are able to transform their lives.

Anything Worth Doing Requires Effort And Patience

Replacing an old habit with a new habit does require effort. If you learned something one way and now you need to learn a new way it can seem difficult but it is very do-able. It is absolutely possible. You train your mind the same way you train a dog. You use patience, kindness, firmness and reward. You must keep at it if you want to succeed.

Consider that anything worth doing requires effort. Anything truly worth doing and getting good at is worth doing poorly at first. Think of anything you have ever gotten really good at; a hobby, a sport, some talent you now have that you didn’t at one time. You weren’t as good when you started as you are today, are you?

It took time and effort and patience to develop your skills and abilities. You may have even considered quitting at one time. Today, you are able to do something you weren’t at first and you are glad you have this talent in your life. It enriches you.

The same is true about changing your thoughts from those that limit you to those that encourage, enable and move you forward. It can be tough. You may feel like you want to quit. If you persist you will get much better. Ultimately, you will be glad you spent the energy because thinking positively enriches you.

If You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You Are Right

Keep at it. Don’t quit. Fill your mind with positivity. Do what it takes to get better. Make it a habit and it will serve you faithfully. Be patient and kind and gentle. Celebrate and be glad because what is the alternative?

The alternative is to do what you did previously. Do you really want to continue to live that way? If it is great, by all means continue. If it not as great as you want it to be, then there is an alternative that helps you get what you want to get. Focus on being more positive and you will be more positive as you put energy into it.

The greatest deception is that YOU can’t. The greatest deception is that you are limited! It is a lie. Stop believing it. You absolutely can be and do and have anything you want in life when you learn how! The greatest deception is that YOU aren’t enough. Stop believing the lie and discover what is possible for you!

The greatest deception is that YOU have accepted limiting things about yourself that you unwittingly adopted from others. The deceit is you are living from their beliefs not your own. You are traveling the world using someone else’s road map. Isn’t it time you start thinking for yourself? You are not limited unless YOU accept you are!

Stop Believing The Lies Start Believing The Truth

Your life can completely and most wonderfully continue to change for the better. As wise people have pointed out, happiness is not a destination but a journey. Now is the only time we have. The past is gone the future is yet to arrive. Live well now and enjoy the present and tomorrow will be taken care of too!

I’ll share more about these limiting messages and beliefs and what we can do to live powerfully in the next blog post. Meanwhile, do it! Think positive. Be optimistic. Live with gratitude and in celebration. Have fun, delight, put a smile on your face and on others. Enjoy the present moment and the world around you. Love yourself and believe in you. You will be surprised what you find!!” Rex Sikes

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so. If you benefit from these words please help someone else benefit too.

PSS I have discussed how to make changes more easily using questions throughout these blog posts. You can search by topic and find some. A great thing to do is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Today is a new beginning!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Do This To Stop Suffering & Start Living! Change Doesn’t Have To Be Hard

horizons green grass and grey green clouds

“Do you ever feel overwhelmed with too much information? Too many adds! Too much noise! Do you sometimes feel things are going by way too fast? It’s like we have become a fast food consumer of everything. Cheap ingredients and not very healthy. Does it seem like everything gets treated as, ‘Next’, move along?

Have you ever felt, because it is so fast, we don’t get the thoroughness or depth we need anymore?  So much is  just all surface and shallow? We need to explore some concepts deeper than they typically get treated, don’t you think?

This is the day and age of distraction by bombardment. There are so many competing distractions, advertisements, messages assaulting us. We go to read an article and a assaulted with endless pop-up messages. The news has talking heads and scrolls along the bottom distracting us from what is being said, or read or vice versa. Stock market reports may be littering the side.

Distractions Are Rampant

Everything is going on all at once. Doesn’t it  seem  as if someone has hurled pasta against the wall? Everything is there, some of it sticks some of it doesn’t. It is difficult for important messages to get through. Some social media limits who can be reached by you, but meanwhile, allows you to be reached by advertisers.

Few of the important messages get the signal attention or strength needed for us to recognize them and then act on. News cycles are fast. Rarely more than 24 hours. Every hour they need viewers for advertising dollars so constant updates are provided. More bangs and more whistles added  to keep you watching.

It is designed  to keep you hooked. Even if they are wrong, they don’t care, they will change it and move on. Tomorrow their will be another media managed crisis for the water cooler conversation and more gossip. Fast and over! Another new problem or celebrity in trouble or another disease to worry about. On and on it goes.

You Need To Focus

So you might wonder why I write similar things from day to day? There is a purpose. I write on a few themes. I re-visit these again and again. I attempt to provide some new angle or another way of considering the same information. It is on purpose!

People need to hear the same message multiple times before they actually hear it? Advertisers know how many times they need to repeatedly expose you to their product for brand awareness to take hold. Repetition is necessary for you to know a brand exists and consider it when purchasing.

People opt for the familiar. Even if they have never tried it if it feels familiar they are more likely to purchase. Advertisers work hard to create familiarity with you. They repeat the adds over and over.They know how many times you need to view an informercial before you are likely to pick up the phone and dial in.

Repetition Builds Ability And Habit

They know you need to get the same message again and again and again before you will act on it. Especially, in this day and age where so many messages are vying for your attention. For you to take action, as opposed to an impulse buy, you need to be conditioned to take action through repetition.

I want the really important, life changing messages, to get through to you.  I want to increase the signal strength needed for readers to recognize them and then act on. I know that repeated exposure is necessary for the person to get first an inkling, then a recognition and then ultimately a desire to act on the message. Then action!

You become what you think about. You have read this from me again and again. It is not my saying, I only use it. You become what you think about most during your day! It’s true! I want you to utilize what advertisers already know so you will put these life changing principles and practices to work for you.

You need to read or hear the same message or a similar message every day, multiple times a day so that eventually it takes root and grows. If every day you read the same message or a similar message your mind receives it again and again. You learn new things each time you re-read.

Develop Positive Habits

You have the possibility to actually understand and act on the message. By repeated exposure you learn and grow, Habits are formed by repetition. It is a simple process actually.

You learn best when you re-read, when you re-visit, when you re-expose your mind to the concepts.  You develop skills when you repeat the skills you want to learn. Through constant repeating a thought or behavior you make habitual. Repetition is the mother of skill.

Repetition is the mechanism by which skills and muscles are built. When you exercise, you may use reps (short for repetitions) and sets (groups of particular repetitions).  You do 4 sets of 10 reps adding weight to each set. Or 5 sets of 4 reps. You repeat the exercises over again adding challenge or more weight. Overtime muscle is built.

Expose Your Mind Again And Again To Positive Messages

Habits are formed by repetition through time. If you repeat the same thing over and over ultimately it becomes habit. If you consistently think positive thoughts you will develop the positive habit.

You can develop the thinking habits and the action habits of those who are wildly successful if you will only think and do what they do for a long enough period of time.  Then their positive, powerful, successful habits will be your life changing powerful, positive, successful habits.

It all begins in your mind. It begins with what you think about most. If you think you can or you think you can’t you are right about it. It is up to you. So…

I re-visit the themes to constantly provide your mind the important messages over and over so they take hold. You can assist yourself by reading and re-reading again and again the positive material in positive inspiring books, this blog, and articles.

Read, Listen, Act

You can put up inspirational posters and pictures and sayings that keep you focused on what you want in life. Listen again and again to motivational audios and watch DVD’s that help you feel your best and do your best.

Fill your mind up with positive messages every day multiple times a day. When it becomes habit and a lifestyle it becomes easier to make the changes you want to make. Your attitude determines you altitude. Your mindset is the precursor to any change you want to make and keep permanently.

You will stop suffering and start living powerfully when you consistently expose and fill your mind with powerful positive messages. You become what you think about. You become what you think about. You become what you think about most during the day.

Let that sink in. If you aren’t right now thinking positive powerful thoughts you are indeed already whatever you are thinking about. Your results and your life reflect that.  If you aren’t happy with where you are currently at begin today to do what is necessary to get what you want.

You Become What You Think About

If you will just start thinking positively your life will change. The easiest way to begin is to commit to reading some positive and inspiring material a little bit each day. The more you can do the better but if you can’t do at least a page.

Commit to reading each day for 30, 60 or 90 days. Habits take time to develop just as building muscles or losing weight does. Be patient  and persistent. As you read you will discover many things and what you can do. You will become more inspired and motivated. It is all good. Just do it!

Read then go back later and re-read. Then go back later and re-read again. Each time you will get new things from the material. The same is true about audio, video. You should re-listen, re-watch these materials. Space it out the repeats, a few days, a week or a few weeks and then return. It will really help you.

Each Small Positive Step Leads To Positive Change

How soon change occurs will be up to you. Read, listen, fill your mind. If you want to change you will have to change what you are doing and do different things. You will have to do the positive steps consistently to get where you want to get to.

How you think about it determines how you will go about it and for how long. Most people try to change the behavior without having addressed the mindset first, so they do not get very far. I have in my past, perhaps you have tried that way as well. It just does not work well. Hope doesn’t get you the power to make and keep the change.

If you want to change anything about yourself your mind and your self image must be the first thing that changes. Then everything else will follow. I encourage you each day in different and similar ways to affect the change that matters most. Change your mind and your life will change! Make it a habit!” Rex Sikes

Make today count!

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

 

What You Do While Waiting To Succeed Is Critical!

horizons pasture pathway

“Have you ever planted a garden? Have you ever tended to living, growing plants? As a child in school or as an adult did you help grow anything? Did you germinate seeds? Do you remember the process? Do you recall the time it took? You had to wait, didn’t you? Whether you liked it or not you had to wait.

People are in a hurry. They want everything fast and they want it yesterday. Well, some things just take time.  For everything there is as season. You just have to endure winter when it is upon you. It still takes the same amount of time whether you like it or not.

Patience Is How You Wait When You Have To Wait

How you go through it though makes the difference. Summer is shorter typically because we enjoy it more. Most of us. If we enjoy something time seems to go by quickly. Too quick. The key to being patient, when you have to, is HOW you spend your time.

If you are having fun and enjoying it will go by quickly. If you are counting the days and comparing the distance between now and then it will seem to take forever. Waiting is completely dependent on you and how you wait. If you are desperate it sucks. If you are fulfilled while you wait it is a breeze.

Growing up as an actor in Hollywood I discovered everyone wants to ‘break through’ to ‘hit it’ to become an ‘overnight sensation’ this moment. Especially teens and twenty somethings. At that age we want it all!  In the film business, most everyone comes to realize, an overnight success takes between 10 and 15 years.

You Cannot Rush It You Cannot Push A Rope

It is not just a saying. It is a reality. Few pop. Most take years and years. Exceptions are child stars. Look at anyone’s credits on imdb and you will see most started with uncredited roles or one liners and worked hard at it, for years, before you or I ever heard of them. They put in years worth of work before anyone noticed. During that time countless thousands of others gave up.

Those who keep at it usually have success of some kind. Those who quit, well, they quit. If you stop and give up, then you stopped. If you keep going you can prevail. Being patient doesn’t mean you don’t do anything while waiting it means you keep moving forward and keep the faith. What you think and do while you wait is critical!

You have to believe in yourself and what you want. You have to keep faith in your ability to accomplish what you set out to do.  You have to know in your heart that you will make it happen in spite of the odds and the time it takes. You have to know that you can do it and will do it!

Don’t Give Up If You Want To Succeed Keep At It

There will be obstacles, set backs and temporary defeat but if you keep at it you can accomplish it. You can and you will!

Did you know that most successful people nearly gave up just prior to gaining their success? Did you know that prior to ‘popping’ most experienced their biggest ‘failures’?  They were nearly crushed and threw in the towel. Those who did not went on to success.

Did you know the first million seems the toughest to make? Do you know Researchers like Napoleon Hill, going back over 100 years ago discovered this and it remains true today. It always seems darkest right before the dawn. Out of chaos and calamity stars are born!

Stay Focused Stay Purposed Stay Passionate And Have Fun

Any worthy purpose takes time to come into being. Be absolutely clear on what you want and you absolutely want it no matter what. If you believe in yourself that you can make it happen then you can find legitimate means to bring it to pass. Stay focused! Stay purposed! Stay Passionate!

When you plant seeds they germinate. The seed must crack open and send out shoots into prepared soil where it can grow in the cover of darkness for however long it takes. It takes time and we can’t see it. We have to believe all is well and make sure it gets nourished. Then one day it breaks forth from the ground a tiny plant.

With continued nourishment it can continue to grow. Depending on what you planted it could be a flower, a food, or a giant tree. It all takes times. It takes whatever time it takes. Ultimately, it produces more seeds and the cycle continues. All the while we wait patiently there is activity. Their is growth and development.

Keep The Faith You Will Succeed 

Patience is a quality you have. It is HOW you wait. It means expect to win while you wait. It means do whatever is necessary knowing your efforts will pay off even if you can’t see the results today. Stay steady and stay consistent. Step by step you get there. Persist!

It means you can’t hurry or rush it. Take steps each day and nourish your success. Stick with it and you will make progress. What you planted you will one day reap. Don’t abandon your positive garden! How you wait is important! Affirm, acknowledge, stay positive.

Focus on the end result. You can glance at present circumstances or difficulty as you do your dash board indicators, while driving, but keep you eyes on the road ahead and keep faith in your heart. You may need to adjust your plans or take detours occasionally but keep on going. Know your destination and keep traveling to get there. You will. Be patient” Rex Sikes

Have a triumphant day!

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Are You Ready To Transform Your Ho Hum Life Into A More Worthwhile, Successful, Positive One?

Want To Change Your Life-

“Today, let’s keep it very simple and very brief. Let’s nutshell it all. Do you want your life to improve for the better? Do you want more happiness, success, love, fun, wealth, better health and well-being?

Do you want to live without worry, fear, and doubt? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be filled with joy and be at peace too? All these and more can be yours. It is simple.

Feel Wonderful

Focus on the best feelings you have and make it a point to have more of them. It is not that you can’t have great feelings readily available it’s that you don’t think it is possible for you. It is!

That is the thinking you must overcome. It is possible! You can do it! You deserve to do it. You won’t, though, if you don’t believe you can or if you won’t do what it takes. Believe in yourself. Have faith!

Fill your mind and your time with the best thoughts and the most wonderful feelings you are able. If you are down low it isn’t necessary that you become over joyed. It is alright if you move from down to okay. You climb a ladder one rung at a time. Move along!

Think in terms of moving in a direction. You may start off slow and small but you speed up and make improvements along the way.

Think Positive Thoughts Speak Positive Words

Celebrate, be grateful. Live with appreciation for anything and everything. Nothing is too small nor too large to feel gratitude for. Nothing is too negative to not find some aspect to be thankful for.

Learn to look for the silver linings hidden in the dark clouds. The more you are filled with genuine thanks for everything the quicker your life transforms. Count your blessings! Feel the feelings!

Only you can do this for yourself. No one can do it for you. The more you focus on feeling wonderful the more wonderful you will eventually feel. What you think about you bring about!

Do not seek happiness and complain you don’t have it. Focus on and notice the distance decreasing not how far you must travel. Learn to manage your mindset and expectations.

Stay focused on feeling better bit bit, however small that bit may be. Step by step you will make your way. Be gentle and encouraging of yourself as you journey. Keep your talk and self-talk positive.

Live Love Laugh Celebrate

Love yourself. Accept yourself even if you don’t feel like it. Respect yourself and speak well of yourself. Think the best. Speak to yourself nicely.

Love yourself as if you are a small child learning the way for the very first time. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Be gentle, nudge yourself along. No one is perfect when first learning to do new things.

Smile more. Laugh! Skip, sing, dance and move. Go for walks. Spend some time out doors sitting quietly enjoying nature. Walk barefoot, ground yourself. Relax, meditate take time for yourself. Have a bath and make yourself comfortable.  Enjoy pleasant simple activities.

You eat an elephant bite by bite. No reason to bite off more than you can chew. Take it easy. Have faith. Know that if you do even just a little bit each day, that is more than you might have done and be happy. A little bit each day adds up. You will surprise yourself soon.

Keep Doing It Don’t Stop

Listen to motivational and inspirational audio. Read positive material each day. Seek out positive and productive people to spend time with. Attend positive events and seminars if you are able.

Look for the positive in all circumstances, events and people. Keep focused on what you can do. Celebrate and feel the very best. You can do this bit by bit. Just keep at it. Keep doing these things.

Soon you will be more positive than negative. Soon you will feel better and better. You will become what you think about most often and the results you get will reflect that. You will live with more joy and delight than you can presently imagine! Don’t wait. Transform your life into something amazing. Begin today!” Rex Sikes

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HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Make today count!

Enjoy what is glorious about you today!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others

How To Stop Getting Screwed Over By Your Own Negativity

eliminate blame guilt and worry

“Do you realize that you create whatever you spend your time thinking about? Whatever most occupies your attention is what you bring forth. Success of Failure in career or life is determined by your mindset. You become what you think about most often.

If most of your time is spent thinking about nothing you create nothing. If most of your time is spent in worry, fear, and doubt that is what you end up with in your lives. If you try avoiding what you don’t want you end up getting that most of the time. It just works this way.

Continued from: You Have No Idea How Negative You Are And How It Screws You Over – This is Part 2.

If you are DISTRACTED and NOT THINKING about what you want or you are thinking NEGATIVELY (disaster thinking) or THINKING about what you DON’T WANT (fear, worry, blame, whining, lack) instead of focusing on what you absolutely do want and concentrating on what you do want you aren’t going to get there.

You will get all that you don’t want instead!

You Are What You Are Not Thinking About Too

Whatever you are not thinking about you become too. If you have no predominant desire, no pursuit, then you aren’t going to make anything happen. You are drifting. You go where the wind takes you.

This is why your goals must become magnificent obsessions. You must have positive burning desires and passionate pursuits if you want career success and happiness in life. You become what you think about. Right now, your life circumstances.

You Are Where Your Thoughts Have Brought You

Your thoughts have brought you here. If you are very pleased, congratulations. If you chose to you can make it even more wonderful! If you don’t like it, hang in there, you can absolutely make it better. It is simple and it will require some dedication BUT you can make it wonderful when you chose to!

You are here because of your previous thoughts. Your thinking. You are where your thoughts brought you. This is the result. Your thoughts will take you into tomorrow. You will be wherever your thoughts take you. You can’t escape the power of your thoughts.

Let go of events, circumstances and people in the world that don’t take you where you want to go. You must not get caught up in these easy and far too frequent distractions. It does not contribute to your well being to be caught up and focused on less than glorious things.

Focus and navigate to your destination without being too concerned about the present condition of the sea. Yes, you must negotiate troubled waters but not with fear. When you travel with confidence you will get through them. Attitude determines what we think is possible. It governs what we do and don’t do.

Stop Getting Caught In Less Than Productive Thinking

Negative thinking IS getting caught in the details and worrying about how you will make it happen. It is thinking in ways that limit you. It is worrying about what might or could go wrong and how it is or isn’t happening. Negative thinking is thinking you don’t have enough knowledge, will-power, personality to make it.

It is micromanaging from fear and doubt instead of seeing the big picture. It is trying to arrange all the details and plan all the steps prior to doing anything. Negative thinking is focusing on why you can’t and how you aren’t able to get what we want.

You have to keep an eye on the big picture and the prize. You have to know, that no matter what, even if you don’t know how or have all the details yet, you can and will get through it because that is the kind of person you are. Believe in yourself. Believe you will take the right steps to make it happen. Believe you can adjust if necessary.

Trust YOU! Have faith in yourself and your abilities. Faith hones creative power to manifest what is needed at the right time, regardless of the obstacles, challengers and temporary defeat. Know you will succeed even when you aren’t sure how. Conquer your problems and your fears. Live and think as a champion.

Tomorrow You Will Be Where Your Thoughts Today Take You

How isn’t as important as the why. The method is not as important as knowing you can do it. Most people get far too caught up in details. They want tools, techniques, procedures, rules and if they can’t figure out how first then they won’t act. They wait. They procrastinate. It is not that they don’t act. IT is that they WON’T act.

They put it off hoping to figure it all out and be assured of success prior to taking a single step. It rarely, if ever, works this way. The how is never explained until after the act is completed. Edison didn’t know what would make a light bulb work until after 10,000 tries.

You won’t know the precise ‘how’ before you do it. Afterwards you might. Once he got it to work it was clear to him. Prior to that moment he just kept pursuing it until it came to him. He didn’t sit and wait. He didn’t complain and he didn’t give up.

You Can Not Escape The Results Of Your Thoughts

He kept going in spite of not knowing what the answer was. One day his mind put two and two together and he realized he needed a particular filament and a vacuum tube. He knew what he wanted and he persisted in spite of all odds.

Edison kept the faith and adjusted what he was doing as necessary. Success was assured IN HIS MIND prior to getting any actual results in the world. This is the mindset you and I and everyone needs.

You have to focus your energy and attention around something. You can’t be scattered. You can’t drift. This is why you must have know your purpose and have a positive burning desire and passionate pursuit in fulfilling it.

Your Intentional Positive Thoughts Produce Positive Results

You become what you think about. Stop worrying about how you will make it happen and focus on why it is important to make it happen. Get inspired and motivated to act. Make it your magnificent obsession and keep pursuing it and you will unleash your creativity.

If you get caught in specifics it is dull, boring and annoying. It depletes your energy. You want to keep your energy charged for accomplishing your desires. You want to enjoy life and feel your best while you make your dreams come true.

Thinking too small, having no focus, no direction, being too scattered and thinking about what you DO NOT want, is all negative thinking. Negative means it produces negative results. It does not get you closer to what you want. It produces less than glorious results. You get results other than what you intend.

That is why I call positive thinking Intentional Thinking. I think it helps describe it better.  People have come to misunderstand the notion of positive thinking. The term positive thinking carries too much baggage.

You Are A Creator Whether You Want To Be Or Not

You create what you intend to create! You even will create what you don’t intend to and that is what most people are doing. They get exactly what they don’t want to get because they are focused on what they don’t want almost exclusively.

I’ll share more in Part 3. This is why the ancient texts all the way to the New Thought Leaders point out you must make it deliberate. Creation is a deliberate act! You must be clear on what you want and determined to get it. Know what you want!

You must be emotionally involved to the utmost and have a burning desire for its completion. You must have complete faith that you will succeed no matter what the obstacles to engage your inner processes and resources to make it happen. If you do these you will have whatever you want.

Purpose, Passion, Faith And Persistence Make It Happen

This blog is a resource to help you focus and to share with you the steps you can take to get inspired, motivated and create that burning desire. I want to help you as others have helped me.

My hope is that you read, study, re-read and put into motion these time honored principles and practices that will help you be, do and have whatever you want in life. You can do it.

It isn’t magic but it is magical. There is an immense power that comes when your thoughts and words and feelings are in alignment. Life begins to work in magical ways.

You become a creative and deliberate source of positive intentional energy while at the same time trusting, allowing and knowing it is all coming together in positive ways. It is a fabulous way to live! You can be this, you can do this, you can have this! Absolutely! It is ALL up to you.” Rex Sikes

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HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Meanwhile – keep subscribing and following here!!!

It is a beautiful new day Enjoy, Enjoy, Enjoy!

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How To Keep Yourself From Losing It & Have A Happier Life

Quotation-Napoleon-Hill-mind-influence-responsibility-positive-Meetville-Quotes-92860

“Do you have any of those moments when you know you are about to lose it? You may blow your top or crumple in a heap of tears. Are there times when you realize you are worrying unnecessarily but haven’t been able to control it? Perhaps, you are stressed and overwhelmed or you got hooked into an argument and you would rather be free?

If yes, to any of these unwanted feelings, or other ones you may experience from time to time, there IS something you can do to make it different. You can make it better and even prevent it. Wouldn’t you like to know what you can do?

You can learn to be different if you will practice what I share with you in this blog.

You can do it easily in the privacy of your own home. In a short while you will notice yourself responding more productively and positively and your life changing for the better.

Sometimes, the best way to learn new methods is in seminars or workshops, or one on one, with a coach or a guide where you can practice the process in advance of needing it. Working together with someone is real hands on. That is always well worth it. By having a qualified person assist you – you can learn nuances and pay attention to elements you might otherwise miss. A great coach is great to have!

In lieu of getting training you can still make the positive changes on your own inside your Inner Mental Movie Theater. Are you ready and eager to learn how? I’m going to give you some today and then more in subsequent blogs.

Today Is The Beginning Of A Process I Share With You

Once you have all the process you may want to record it so you can follow along. Today, smart phones can come in handy this way. Read through these instructions a couple of times at least. There will be more information to record another day.

Familiarize yourself with the process. Then actually do what is being asked of you. If you only read about it and do not apply it you will not experience the benefit from it. If you don’t attempt it you will never know how powerful it can be. You have to do the work to get the results you want.

First: Determine How You’d Like To Be And Feel And Behave (Respond) In Difficult Or Less Than Glorious Situations

What do you want to be like instead of doing what you do? You might want to be confident, strong, fearless, happy, loving, silly, playful, energetic, caring, calm, relaxed, thoughtful, patient, anything that is positive for you.

There are times in your past when you have felt good this way. You can recall them, remember them in your mind, and remember the feelings. For example, when you felt happy about something. Notice the feelings, where did you feel them the strongest? Aren’t they wonderful? You feel happy!

Enjoy the feelings of when you feel happy! What are you thinking? What are you saying to yourself when you are happy? How do you think about yourself in that moment? Isn’t it wonderful to feel good? How does the world look when you are happy? Maybe a bit brighter? Notice whatever you notice when feeling happy. Linger with it. Savor it. Enjoy feeling happy.

Really take time to relive the happy part of the experience. Notice and enjoy the sights, the sounds, the feelings (even taste or smells if there are any) while feeling this resourcefulness. End it or cut it off while still feeling happy. Don’t let it fizzle out.

You want your primary attention and time spent feeling the good feelings, and letting or making the good feelings intensifying during the memory. If they start to fade or diminsh cut it off, stop it, shake it off (literally shake yourself a bit) and end it. Take a few breaths and do it again. Learn to create poignant positive moments for yourself. Bookended!

It is:  Feel happy, It increases, And out!

If you were to imagine a bell curve close to the top of the bell say at 9 or 10 o’clock position would be the entry point. You feel happy. It increases or intensifies upward towards 12. Then it starts down the other side of the bell curve. Do you get it? You come in feeling happy, intensify it and exit,

Stop before it starts the downslide. This is how you teach your brain to give you what you want. You want to feel good and feel it increase.  Linger in the good feelings and when the feelings  begin to diminish exit. Wash, rinse repeat! Do it again!

Develop The Knack Of Re-living And Creating The Precise Moments You Want More Of

What is so amazing is you can use your mind to travel back to times, and places, and events and with people, or engaged in activities when and where you felt these positive feeling states. You can recall and re-live them all while sitting in your chair!

Just as when you are out somewhere and something triggers or jogs a memory in you and you enjoy revisiting it. You can deliberately do it. You summon it up. You go back and recall.

Think about, recall a time when or remember a specific place you felt happy. Maybe some activity you do makes you happy or a special person? Fox example, pick a specific instance of being with a person who you were happy with? What were you doing that made you feel happy? It could be anything, such as a sport, a conversation, seeing something happen, getting good news, being at a party. How the person looks at, speaks to or touches you. Anything!

People, Places, Activities, Time, or Things 

To help you remember you can think of people, places, activities, things, or a time when you felt these feelings. For example, think of some activity that makes you feel good. Consider,  what were you doing, who were you with, where were you?

Ask whatever questions you need to in order to recall more details from the positive memory. These questions can help make it more vivid. Ask, who, what, when, where, why and how did any of these make you feel?

Once you make this a habit you won’t have to consciously work so much. It will all come quite naturally. Search through your experiences and find them. Maybe you felt happy on a vacation. That particular place brings back happy memories. Or at home.

Any particular place, a quiet power spot no one knows about but you. Young or old. Memories from the past can be yesterday or go way, way back.

For some the smell of fresh baked bread will take them instantly to another comforting place and time. For others the smell of fresh cut grass does the same. Some people feel patriotic when they see symbols of their country. Music makes us feel many things, relaxed, loved, horny, powerful, heartbroken…

You Can And You Should Go And Find All The Wonderful Positive Memories From Your Past

You can find them. You will as you keep searching. Some are pretty available. This is an important part of self discovery and evolution.It is important to find and focus on the positive in our life more often because we become what we think about. It gives us much more to feel grateful about and celebrate.

What we think about we bring about. Birds of a feather flock together so we find that we get back more and more of what we are thinking about. Think positive!

What you are learning in this, of great importance, is that instead of remembering and reliving past disappointments and being a victim of them, or remembering past positive times with longing we can do something about it.

We don’t have to live with the hurt and the longing we can live positively happily and powerfully. We can fill our mind and being with the positive feelings, and images, and sounds of our positive experiences.

Imagine How Much More Wonderful Life Would Be If You Enjoyed More Positive moments overall.

Now you can. You can go back into your past and begin to unlock all the positive moments there are to relive and enjoy. These moments, these wonderful feelings constitute resources you can begin to use in the present and the future. You can literally transform your experience at any time.

Second: You Don’t Have To Go Back. You Can Imagine Yourself In The Future Behaving As You Want To Behave. 

The ideal you! The person who has it all together. Imagine what you would look like and sound like if everything worked out well for you. You think positive, you feel awesome, and life is grand. As you imagine that notice how this makes you feel. Feel it! Enjoy the feelings!

You can pick any one of the states. Confidence, for example. Notice how you look. The look on you face. Your eyes, your smile your confident expression. Notice how you stand, move, walk and use you body to express being confident. See how you gesture while you speak confidently and with authority.

You are confident, you are self assured, certain, powerful and positive. Watch yourself, as if on a movie screen, and notice how you feel as you enjoy yourself behaving this way. Make it absolutely wonderful. Adjust it.

Make it wonderful this is you creating it. Just as an artist paints on a canvas paint a powerful mental image of you being confident (or whichever resource). It’s you mental movie make it exactly what you want it to be. Make it outstanding! After all, this is using your brain, your mind to imagine, so imagine the very best, Spend time enjoying the marvelous feelings.

Make These Inner Mind Movies Spectacular

Make them soothing if you need them to be relaxed. Joyous when happy. I’m sure you get the concept. Spend time living in this future world. Enjoy the future you in these mental movies. Enjoy the past movie memories.

Consider where you want to be like this, when, with whom, doing what? Use the questions to focus on different times and places in your near and distant future when you want to be resourceful like this. Imagine it fully.

Two Ways Of Seeing: Recalling And Creating

There is something else you may or may not be aware of. There are two ways you can create images and you can remember in your mind. You can watch an event with you in it as if you are watching a video, or selfie of yourself. You can see you and others and the location and the circumstances as a video or movie.

The second way of seeing is through your own eyes. It is your point of view (POV). You don’t see yourself but you see what you see as if in real life. For example, in the number one way of seeing you might see yourself sitting inside a new car from the outside the car on the drivers door side. Or you might see yourself through the windshield, or windscreen of the car right there with your hands on the wheel.

In the second way of seeing you are in the car, feeling what it feels to sit in the seat, comfortable or not. Leather or otherwise. You might smell the new car smell. And you would see your hands on the steering wheel and feel yourself griping it. You’d see out the windows, the dashboard and if you look down your lap and legs.

You don’t see the entire you because what you see is what you actually see in the real world when you look out of your eyes. Your Point Of View (POV).

So there are at least these two ways to see, recall and create. You want to recall your memories first however you recall them. You want to live within them and feel and see and hear everything you are able. You want to re-experience the good feelings. Then you want to do the other way.

So whether you first begin with POV or not notice it and after awhile spending time doing it this give the other way some practice time.

Repeated Correct Practice Makes A Perfect Habit

Remember, this is practice. This is how you are going to build a positive new habit. You will enjoy this habit building. You practice daily, whenever you are able, going back and finding positive times from your past and reliving them as fully as possible. Spend dedicated time doing this. Find as many as you are able. ONE at a time.

Build your mental library of resources. Spend dedicated time going into the future and imagining yourself with all the resources you want to have. One at a time. Imagine people, places, events, activities, situations where you want more of these good feelings and resources. It can be any time, not just a difficult time but wonderful times as well.

Imagine yourself living in the future positively and resourcefully. Build a library catalog of positive future resources. Spend dedicated time doing this too. Do it also whenever you can during your day. Practice both of these using both ways of seeing. Do one at a time. POV for while. The come back later and do those over again but see it as a selfie video. Practice that for while.

Eventually, you practice and do both. In doing these exercises you are building so many positive skill sets and will develop so many positive resources and habits it will amaze and delight you.

Stop! Take a breath and relax for a moment and imagine  how fantastic life will be in the near, near future as you feel, think and act so much more resourcefully. Imagine how incredible you will feel as you tap into your inner resources more frequently and fill your daily moments in this way.

We Become What We Think About. What Consumes The Mind Controls Us

You now have the opportunity to become more happy, confident, peaceful, secure, loving, patient any way you’d like to be more of. You can feel anyone of these and all of them more frequently in your day to day. Isn’t that wonderful? It really is! The more time you spent recounting, re-feeling, recreating, re-experiencing positive memories and moments the more you get back.

SO keep going back and finding them. Find one, then find another one. Have fun finding out how many positive, resourceful moments you have actually had. Some will be real easy to discover, the ones you always remember, but as you continue to look back you will unlock and remember others you haven’t thought about in a long time.

Project into the future again and again in a variety of ways. Imagine your future, specific times and places and people you want to enjoy more. You want to have more fun, delight, and resourcefulness. Spread all the wonderful good resources and feelings throughout your future.

The byproduct of doing this is that more of you present gets filled with positivity as well. You live better right now too! Imagine, you go back transform your past by looking for the good in it, you feel great right now and start getting results you want and you code you future for all this goodness too. Pretty cool, wouldn’t you say?

Do All These Exercises In The Spirit Of Fun, Exploration, Adventure, And Play

Somethings may happen quickly or slowly it doesn’t matter stay with it playfully. Somethings happen instantly some take longer that is just how it is. Consider doing this as if you are planting a beautiful garden.

You plant the seeds and they take time to grow. Some come up sooner than others but eventually the garden appears. Relax, enjoy, keep practicing and let it happen. The benefits will be there.

Some things are simpler and easier than others just stick with it. Speak gently to yourself through all this as if you were a loving, compassionate coach helping you along. If things are tough they are tough no reason to get discouraged. Have fun, be patience, keep the faith and it will pay off.

My son told me today, that doing the top of the pyramid on a three high (three levels of water skiers on each others shoulders forming a pyramid) is scary. BUT he does it any way. He faces his fear and makes the climb and even while on top it is scary but exhilarating. Keep going, don’t let anything stop you.

There is noting to fear I only use that example because some people get frustrated if everything doesn’t occur over night and quit. You have to face the fact that somethings just take some time.

So if they do be prepared to hang in there. You will discover so much more delight than you can ever imagine if you make this daily ritual, a daily routine and practice.

You can’t even yet begin to appreciate how everything can and will transform when you apply yourself in this way. I’ll share more next time as we continue this exploration.” Rex Sikes

Find enjoyment everywhere you look today!

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Do You Ever Get Hooked Bad? How To Get Unhooked!

Take-a-deep-breath copy

“What do you do when you get caught up? Something happens and it bursts your positive bubble. Your momentum is thrown off, the apple cart upset. How do you react? How should you? How could you? Is there a better way to behave when when s–t hits the fan?

First,  to ‘get caught up’ is an apt description. We get caught, hooked just like a fish. We think things are great and the next thing you know we swallowed a big hook. That sucks! What do we do?

We do whatever it is we do. Nature takes its course. We may get angry even while knowing it would be best not to. We may do things against our better judgement and against our own best interests. It happens. Sometimes we react without thinking and sometimes we react while thinking we ought to be doing something else.

We are hot and bothered but not in the good way. We are hurting, angry, scared, lashing out. We are desperate and convinced the world is ending or at least turing bad on this very point. We are absolutely hooked and we are reacting automatically. Again, we are caught up in it.

Whatever it is triggered a response from us. An unwanted, painful uncomfortable response. Maybe we yelled at ourselves. Perhaps, we shouted at a loved one or co-worker. We created pain for others too. Why not? Maybe they hurt us first? Right? Wrong!

Nothing justifies a poor, bad or negative reaction. There is no excuse for yelling at ourself or others. However, if that is what happen that is what happened. I will come back to this in a moment. The first thing is to acknowledge, whenever you become aware, is that you reacted as you did. Accept responsibility and realize you did as you did.

The truth is you went haywire. You lost control. You fought or fought back. Whatever it is accept it. There are consequences to our actions. For every cause there is an equal and opposite effect. You may have started other wheels spinning or like dominos you just knocked over the very first one.

Ok, that is what was, and what might be. First, accept responsibility without blaming yourself for your reaction. YOU reacted. YOU lost control. Sad to say so but that is what happened. Accept it without shaming yourself. That won’t help you end that issue.

Accept you behaved poorly, acknowledge it, and turn your attention to how you could have behaved or responded better or more appropriately. What could you have done differently, even though you didn’t?

Figure out what the most positive response is that could benefit everyone in a positive and productive way. How might you have behaved that could have kept things in check (possibly) instead of them rampaging out of control?

In order to behave better in the future you have to know what behavior you want instead. YOU just got slammed right in the face big time with the behavior you don’t want. Consider it a godsend. Pretend someone somewhere, the universe is sending you an incredible message and opportunity.

Your hot, negative, unwanted thoughts, feeling and behaviors are all exactly what you don’t want. Hopefully, the messenger gets through because the messenger tells you, ‘okay that happened, own up to it, make restitution, and NOW focus on what you DO want instead.’

You reacted instead of responded. You reacted to whatever the circumstances dictated and you fell victim to it. Hey, we all do it so blame is not the name of this game. Get over yourself. Determine your positive course, the positive thoughts, feelings, behaviors and results you want in your future instead.

The first key in getting unhooked is to notice that YOU got hooked. Then, once you notice it, you do what you need to to get unhooked. In the human’s case we need to focus on what we want and where we want to end up instead. We want more productive responses next time.

There are many ways to do this I will discuss in future blogs. We can use our imagination, our internal movie theater, self-talk, affirmations, Directed Questions™ and more for just this sort of thing.

My point is this: We evolve ourselves. In evolution somethings take time. Some things take repeated examples or exposures. Some lessons it seems we have to learn again and again until we eventually get it. AND THAT IS OKAY! That is just the way it is.

We may want it to be different. We may wish it were like all the promises the media makes for instant relief and magic gadgets but life is more like a flowering garden. Beautiful things just take some time to appear. We grow, adapt, and evolve.

So again no blame, no shame. The best thing you can do is acknowledge your reaction and pat yourself on the back and hope you will notice the next ones too. Praise yourself not for your reaction but for you becoming aware that you reacted and were focused on what you did not want. This provides you a choice point and the opportunity to change.

This increases the likelihood  that you will become aware and notice quicker in future episodes because you aren’t punishing yourself. No one likes that. Well, at least fewer people do. Awareness is the doorway that opens for you to find new opportunity. Validate your awareness and it willingly works to benefit you.

Determine to respond better in the future. Again, I’ll share more later but if you read my blog regularly there are lots of tips and secrets and practices and principles you can apply right now to begin doing that.

Own your reaction. Take responsibility. Make an apology genuinely and promise to never do that again. Do whatever must be done to correct any wrong doing or harm. Help provide healing. Sometimes that means walking away too and leaving the other person alone if they request that. Be respectful!

That last point is an important one for behavior in the world. Walk away.

‘When we ‘react’ it causes pain because it is a ‘knee jerk’. It means we have no choice. We actually do have choice but it happens so fast or things start snowballing out of control that it seems as if we don’t and we can’t help it.

We always have choice and the choice point is right smack in the beginning. Something happens outside of us or within us to set it off. Things start happening. There is actually a sequence. It may seem one moment we are fine and the next we flew of the handle but there is an actual sequence of events that happen in real time.

Neurons fire. Neural pathways are activated. Signals are sent Hormones and chemicals are released. Our body is preparing for FIGHT OR FLIGHT!

In jungle days with real world predators we needed this to run very fast or fight very strong to survive. We need it much more rarely in our modern world and we don’t need it when most arguments ensue.

BUT IT IS THERE anyway. To serve us. Because we think we are being threatened when in fact we are, but not in that life-threatening way. We need to learn to better respond and adapt to our circumstances than be walking around as jungle cave people in the 21st century. Don’t you think?

Because there is a sequence it takes time. YES, it happens very fast. REALLY  really fast. BUT you can still catch it. THAT is precisely why we want to encourage our awarenesses. We want to become aware as it is happening that there is something WE CAN DO instead.

We can actually divert the behavior into new more productive behaviors and new neural pathways.

We just have to catch the moment first. AT the very instant of the trigger, we are caught unawares, and then the body takes over and begins to release chemicals. As these chemicals and the neurons begin traveling their routes we feel the changes.

Maybe we get ‘hot under the collar’ or ‘red in the face’ maybe we ‘see red’ or feel tension increase. Anything, any way you describe it, is possible.

The point is to become aware as this happens. As the chemicals release its called Emotional Flooding. We get flooded with feelings and sensations. IF we notice them, again the reason awareness is important, we can change them right then. We have this choice brief choice point to give us time or room to respond differently.

Imagine for a moment you are at the top of a hill with a huge boulder. You are in front of it. It begins to roll down hill. ALL you have to do is put your arm out and you can stop it from rolling. You really can. The reason you can stop it is that it just began. You caught it right in the beginning.

It didn’t have time to build momentum. Had you been four or five feet away, or ten or more you would not be able to stop it at all. You would have to jump aside. It has too much momentum by then. It is the same with our emotions flooding us. If we catch them right at the beginning we can be different. IT can be different.

This flooding seems fast and is because the neural pathways have been traveled countless times before. They are well worn and utilized. In order to change we have to provide new pathways. It will take awhile for them to get well worn in too. Still, we do have choice.

Awareness is the first step. The second is to decide to choose what else to do instead. One of the best things to make habit is to take a very deep breath. Breath. Breath again. Breathing helps to change what is happening in the body. So does pacing or walking as long as you don’t use the walking to build momentum.

Take a deep breath. Change your body posture. Move, walk, don’t remain in the same place. Keep breathing slowly. EMT’s are known to have a person walk off the adrenaline when in an accident or a near miss.

When the flooding happens people get jittery as the chemical floods into the system. You can’t get rid of it, you can’t just dump it. but you can use it in a managed activity. Walking. You could skip or dance but on the street they also are concerned with safety. So move calmly and breath to better utilize what the body is giving you.

Take a breath. Create that pause in the flood. Use your own body to stop the momentum and you prevent the emotional boulder from shooting down the hill. You can stop the flooding. It can be done. You divert it into a more productive and less destructive path.

Choice is important. When you make a decision you can change your thoughts and feelings to respond in a more beneficial manner for yourself and others. You can choose to walk away from the fight.

It may not seem like it now but you really can. You can choose to do nothing at all. It does not, necessarily, require that anything be done just because you got hot.

When you create the pause, the gap, that room, you can begin to see that this is true. You don’t have to continue on you can respond differently!

The only way to decide differently is to create that space by making the pause happen. You create the pause, which slows the flood, you positively manage the resulting emotions converting them into other relaxed responses. You get your head clear.

You are creating new neural pathways. You are changing the old route to a new one. The result is the same as when you moved to a new residence. You have a different address. You end up in a different place.

You pause, (breath and move and continue to) you relax, let go, and continue as needed. You direct your mind to more useful places, thoughts and behaviors (Directed Questions™ were created for this).

YOU chose a new more productive, positive, useful response. It could be anything. As long as it isn’t the old one and it is positive and constructive you are doing yourself a great service.

You have just stopped the emotional flooding, got unhooked and created a new neural pathway to travel to a new address. Fantastic! Celebrate and be grateful!

Appreciate that you have taken control instead of being a victim of your own chemistry and emotions. You determined you were going to re-route them. Pat yourself on the back!

Just as when you actually move from one address to a new address you may, from time to time, discover yourself taking the old way to the old home. This can happen with behaviors too. In time, by taking the new route to the new place enough times you make it a well worn pathway.

You have lost nothing. You can still always find your way to the former residence, if you were to choose to. You haven’t lost anything, you aren’t deprived of anything. What changed is you have a new, more useful productive, constructive pathway to a beautiful new residence.

Travel there happily. You find you don’t even think about the old route but you could if you wanted to. How cool is all of this? Pretty wonderful, if you ask me. You always have choices available.

In the next blog I will share with you  a ways to wire this in. The one after that I’ll discuss developing a new mindset to give yourself new choices. Meanwhile celebrate and enjoy!” Rex Sikes

Find delight in your day and night!

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