Tag Archives: Positive Practice

A Simple, Easy Way To Treat Your Loved Ones Right

no excuses - when you really matter

“With technology comes advances. There is no doubt we are better off the more we have invented.  As we advance the same technology can create problems. Nothing is inherently good or evil. A hammer can be used to build or tear down.

Social Media Is Separating Us and Dividing Us

We don’t ‘connect’ as we used to. Instead of calling and speaking we text each other. Often, we group text or we tweet followers and post to friends on social media. It is devoid of human speaking and listening and give and take.  Frequently, we are just posting or reading announcements on walls or watching video without any give and take.

Enter a room anywhere today and you will see people staring at their devices instead of talking together.  Most all of them gazing at their phone are gaming, or texting or reading or watching some media. Human interaction is limited and if there is any at all in that room it is through electronics with someone somewhere else.

This prevalent form of ‘staying connected’ is not meaningful contact. We are not actually talking and listening to or trying to understand anyone anymore. These are not conversations where meaning and understanding are important.

These are written notes littered with abbreviations and emoticons. We don’t hear their voice and their expression we read texts in our voice with our expression. Because we don’t listen or look we assume and misinterpret. Since we don’t actually talk we don’t actually connect.

We think we are more connected through electronics and social media but we may actually be more isolated and less exposed to diverse thinking, cultures and people. A room full of people all on their devices instead of interacting together is not a coming together.

Living Through Your Phone Or Lens Is Not Living

Watching a documentary on an African town is not the same as visiting the town and getting to know and experience the people. We are missing out on actual experiences. We opt to live vicariously rather than to really live. We have become passive observers, shielded behind our mobil devices, rather than participants in life.

Instead of it making us better it lessens our experiences and feelings. It allows us to escape. It preoccupies us. Instead of meeting the new person sitting next to you you retreat into the reliable escape of entertainment.

You game, watch youtube, text someone, read FB to avoid an actual real life encounter with the people right there with you. You are shut off not involved. You are limited and not expanding.

Give It A Rest And Take A Break

Make time for family and friends. Shut off your phones and put them away. Have some real face time with the people you love and care about. PUT THE MOBIL DEVICE AWAY. Your children OR your parents deserve YOU and your uninterrupted time and attention. Don’t deprive them.

Don’t be tempted to answer the call or the text. The person in front of you is more important, most likely, than the person texting in. Most texts and phone calls can wait. Make time for people in your life. Make time for your loved ones! Respect each other!

Respect the other person by giving your undivided attention. Give your complete attention without checking your FB wall. It is rude to be constantly picking up your phone instead of listening and looking at the human with you. It is annoying to others to be conversing with you only to be interrupted by text tones and phone calls. Stop it!

Learn To Live Without Your Phone 

You will survive! Many people, if they forget their phone, panic. STOP IT! It is only a phone. Yes, it is shiny, has bangs and whistles and costs a fortune but it is no where near worth the value of your real friends and family who want to connect with you.

Put it aside. Learn to live without it so you can enjoy it without being addicted to it. If you forget it at home, so what, you will survive. Those feelings of ‘gotta have it’ are the feelings and the stressors you want to eliminate. Relax, it is only a phone. You will survive!

In olden, by gone days, (a few years back) no one had personal devices to stay in touch and for the most part the world went on and on anyway. It is a fallacy to think we need the phone just in case. That is a sense of immediacy and foreboding that is artificial and only causes worry and stress. You don’t need it.

Hug Not Hold

True, once and a while you had to make an important call or you might have missed an important call BUT life went on. There is no reason to be a slave to your electronic device. It is the people that are important not the devices. It is the human you can hug not the gadget you can hold that matters.

Relax. Schedule time to connect. Have a date night with your loved one or friends and turn off your phones. Leave the electronics behind. Make it a point to shut the phone off for half a day or more. You can do it even if it seems as though you can’t.

At the end of your life you won’t say, ‘If I had only spent more time texting and posting to Facebook. If I’d only answered the phone more often.’ I bet you are going to wish for more time with the people you love.

Do not cheat yourself of them of your time and attention. Realize right this instant what is important and who is important in your life right NOW!, Spend the quality time together you and they deserve.” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day. Connect with someone in a special way!

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Either You Are OR You Aren’t: Knowing This Is Great Power!

start living your life fearlessly

“The concept is quite simple. Frankly, as simple as black and white, hot or cold, up and down. Think of it this way: you are either saving money or spending money. Your money either works for you or you work for it. You either are living fearlessly or you are not. It is simple!  What ARE you doing?

Possessions are either a feeder, contributing to your wealth and well being, or an eater, detracting from your wealth and well being. A car either appreciates in value or depreciates.

That is a pretty easy concept isn’t it? Your positive thoughts energy  ball is either larger or smaller than your negative thoughts energy ball. You either think positive or not. You either feel good or you don’t. You are either happy or you aren’t.

It Is Either One Way Or The Other Way

You are either nice to people most of the time or you are not. You either give and contribute to others or you don’t. You are either supportive and encouraging or you are not AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT. What are you?

What are you thinking, feeling and doing? What are you thinking, feeling and doing at any given moment? What are you thinking, feeling and doing RIGHT THIS MOMENT?

You need or want to notice which it is and whether that is what you want OR NOT. You are either doing well or you aren’t. You are either getting closer to your target destination or you are not.

All it takes is for you to be aware and notice what it is you are doing or mostly getting. If it is NOT what you want you have to change it for it to be otherwise. It is that cut and dried. It is that simple and straight forward. It is not complicated in the least.

We Become What We Think About

We become what we think about and focus on most of the time each day. Whatever consumes the mind is what we get. Either those are wonderfully powerful joyous thoughts or they aren’t.

If you want to think and feel better you need to make the decision about what you will concentrate on and then do it.

No one can do it for you. No one can think your thoughts or feel your feelings for you. No one can rescue you only you can. If you don’t like the results you are getting you CAN do something to get better results. You can change what you are doing.

If you are spending more than you are saving you can change that.

If you are focused on blame and worry and fear you can change that.

If you are eating the wrong foods for your health you can change that.

It Is Your Responisibility Alone

YOU have to take responsibility and correct the course you are on. It may be true, you have never done it before now, but you can learn to do it and you can be successful at it.

The decision is yours. You either decide to do it or you don’t do it. To not decide is to make a decision against doing anything. It will always be your choice and yours alone. The choice will always stare you in the face until you do something about it. Ignoring it is a choice.

If you want to be happier, healthier, wealthier you must think and do what brings that to you. You don’t move foward looking backward. If you want more happiness and enjoyment in your life you either take big steps or little steps towards it.

No steps won’t bring you what you want. Little steps will! You have to move toward what you want. What are you doing each moment? What are you moving towards this moment? Are you getting closer to what you want OR closer to what you don’t want? Figure it out and do what you need to do in order to get what you want!

You Determine What You Want And What You Will Get

If you want a life filled with gratitude and joy. Count your blessings every day. Look around for things and people to celebrate! Fill your mind and time with all that is good and joyous. Let gratefulness and joy consume you.

THEN you will get back what you put out. THEN you will become what you think about. THEN you will get what you want. If you want it make it happen. Decide Now! The miracle happens in the decision! More coming up on this topic! ” Rex Sikes

Make the most of this marvelous day!

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Without This You Can’t Succeed In Career Or Be Happy!

life is not hapening to you life is responding

“You can be, do or have anything you want in your career and life but not without this. If this ingredient is missing it will be far harder if at all possible. With it you can be unstoppable! Do you have what it takes to succeed and be happy?

The ingredient, the characteristic one must have to succeed is confidence. Self-Confidence is the belief in yourself to make your dreams come true. If you don’t already have it then it is important that you develop a deep, strong belief that you have the resources inside you, the abilities, skills and talents to create what you want.

To get the results you are after you must have the confidence and high self-esteem  to assure yourself that you are capable to manifest your desires. You must believe that right now you have everything you need within you. This IS a prerequisite for success and happiness!

If you are going to succeed in your career, your hobbies, and in creating the life you want to have it is crucial you believe that you are capable of bringing it about and making it happen. You must believe in YOU and that it IS possible! You must have this faith! You will never make it happen if you don’t believe in yourself or you don’t believe it is possible to be, do or have what you desire.

At one time scientists accepted that people responded to information that came to us from outside ourselves. They concluded we react to what happened and that influenced our thoughts, feelings and actions. They thought movement from the external to the internal was how we moved through the world. They thought it was  ‘Seeing Is Believing’.

At one time, we believed the world was the flat, center of the universe, but scientists helped us to learn otherwise. Scientists have learned quite the opposite is true regarding the flow of information. It is from internal to external. It is from within us that determines the what we get in the outer world. Our thinking and feeling precedes our actions and results. From within to without!

Researchers, now understand it is our expectations that shape our experience of the circumstances.  We act from what we expect to happen next. Said differently, what we believe will happen is what will happen. Our expectations are powerful. SO you should expect to create a marvelous future!

Our beliefs are those thoughts we repeatedly think. We adopted these from others without realizing it or we accepted these based on experiences we have had. Researchers now know we respond to what the brain expects to happen based on what we have come to believe. In other words, scientists now conclude that Believing Is Seeing!

The human mind is incredible! It is powerful and consistent. It can make happen anything you want OR don’t want by what you focus on and think about most. Some people get the results they don’t want because they think about those problems predominantly instead of concentrating on what they DO want.

The brain will deliver to you anything you want but you must believe that what you want is possible in order to be, do or have anything you desire! If you don’t believe THAT you are not going to make it happen! You must expect to bring it about TO bring it about! You must realize if it is going to happen it is up to you. You have to claim 100% responsibility to make your life what you want it to be.

Ultimately, you must realize that whatever results you presently have or don’t have you are 100% responsible for. You may not like that thought but when you take 100% responsibility for everything , good and bad, you put yourself in the place of power to make the changes you need to in order to get the results you desire. So take the responsibility! Make a difference for yourself and your future!

Decide to believe that YOU and you alone create all of your experiences and you will begin moving forward. Choose to believe that whatever you experience, success or failure, pleasure or pain, is due to your expectations, your beliefs and attitudes. Once you do believe this deeply you free yourself from being a victim of other people, events and situations. It is worth it to be free!

Once you believe strongly in yourself and your ability to create whatever you want or don’t want choose to create what you want. Focus on your desires not on what you want to avoid. Focus on what is good and what is wonderful. Stop complaining and criticizing self, others and the world. Instead of complaining and whining do something to change them. Believe you can and you will!

Focus on what you can be thankful for. Make a big things of the little things that delight you. Think about what pleases you and puts a smile on your lips. Pat yourself on the back when you move in the direction you want to move in. Treat yourself gently when you don’t.

Whenever you find your focus on the negative or the less than glorious shift it back toward the positive. This is THE skill worth developing! Become aware when you are thinking and feeling other than positive or the best you can and intentionally change it for the better. It may not be possible to feel blissful 100% of the time but you can feel better at any moment.

Whenever you become aware of feeling less than glorious commit to making yourself feel just a LITTLE bit better. Even a little bit is better than no movement at all!  Inch yourself into feeling a little bit better bit by bit. You may not be able leap into glorious feelings but you don’t have to remain stuck in a horrible place either.

Believe in yourself and you can be, do and have anything you want. You make it happen because of your unwavering faith in your abilities to find a way, to connect with the right people, to engineer the events to bring about what you want. You gather the resources and you connect the dots!

You are not god creating the world but you are a powerful resourceful person who can succeed and be happy if you want to. You can find a plan and find the way. Challenges are just part of the process. Because you believe strongly in you and expect to succeed you become unstoppable. You don’t give up rather YOU find the way!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate Today!

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You Need To Be The Author Of Your Own Life!

focus on possibilties make it happen

“You could be limiting yourself and preventing you from living the life you truly want to live! Are you aware of that? You should find out if what you are doing is not only keeping you from your dreams and goals but keeping you from the good life right now.

What is your story? What are you telling others about who you are and what your day is like? You need to become aware of the story you want versus the story you keep telling.

You must choose carefully the story you want to tell because what you recount to others during your day is keeping you in your current reality. What you re-live in your mind and speech is who you are. If you talk about being stuck you remain stuck.

People spend much of their time regurgitating what has happened. They share all their disappointments and failures. They re-live over and over again the miseries from their past and present and wonder why they can’t get away from them.

I’ve said it before; you won’t get rich focused on being poor. You don’t get positive by thinking negative. You can’t move forward looking backward. You can’t be happy when all you do is complain. You won’t change if you blame others and circumstances for your problems.

You can’t live a rich, awesome, joyful and blessed life if you whine, complain, blame and recount disappointment and failures at the water cooler, over the cubby wall, at bars and restaurants, and dinner with your family. What you tell over and over again to others is what makes up your present reality.

In order to get away from it you need to tell the story that you want to be living.  You need to focus on the little things that you are grateful for. It is far more powerful and life changing to find and be thankful for something tiny than to be insincere in your gratitude.

You should discuss blessings, solutions, positive aspects of daily living. You can share how you did get over a problem and what did do that made a difference without spending a lot of time focused on the problem itself. Think about and talk about how your life IS the way you want to be. Discuss what you would be feeling and doing  if life were perfect.

Until you tell that story you’re stuck in the old story. You need to change the script you live from and share with others! You are the author of your life! Take charge and write the story, script it, how you want it. Take control. Don’t let it happen to you and then re-tell what happened that you didn’t want. That is being silly and foolish.

A woman came to me for coaching, not too long ago, complaining. She wanted life to be better and could not understand why she wasn’t making the progress she desired. I listen. It was easy to realize her focus was on everything that was wrong.

She felt weak and it was easy to see when she ‘shared everything she just had to get off her chest’ that it sapped her of her power.  She literally talked herself into feeling bad by what she chose to talk about. Many of us do this. Many who come for coaching have similar issues.  What we think about we bring about.

Gently, I told her she needed to re-write her speech. She had to author a new story. Instead of focusing on what she did not want and what was not right she needed to start talking about all that was right and what she did want.  I asked her to be detailed and specific so she could clarify and get it straightened out.

I told her in order for her to have the happy life she wanted she needed to live it in her imagination first and then share all the good thoughts and feelings she had when she spoke. She needed to focus on the good experiences of the day AND not the circumstances that got her down.  Living powerfully begins inside us first.

Before you know it she became happier and healthier and wealthier. Her life dramatically improved in a very short period of time. For some it happens quickly for some others it takes a little longer. She changed, because for the first time in a long time, someone told her it didn’t have to be the way she understood it.

She didn’t have to live crap over and over again. She could shift her focus away from troubles and onto blessings. I told her she could be what she wanted to be. I listened, I understood, I saw what was easy to see, and I recommended she take responsibility.

She did and she made  the changes with her new mindset. She now practices being positive! She shares positive stories and blessings without sounding like she has stepped out of a greeting card. She has made new habits of  choosing how she is feelings by what stories she is living from.

She understood she IS the author of her experience and she can write what she wants to live and be. Presently, she’s well on her way to a glorious new future. She understands that outlook and attitude, how we use words and what we think and share all day long, is what we become.

If you aren’t living the life you want? What do you think about and talk about most of your days. Instead of letting life happen to you and then talking about what you don’t like change where you put your attention. Be the victor not the victim. Don’t re-live wounds.

Focus more on what you want more of and less on what you don’t want. Realize you are the author of your life, take charge and write the life you want to live. Do it today! Don’t wait. Make it a habit.

Do it each day and you will soon be living that life. No one else can do it for you. Put a guard before your thoughts and words and only think and speak that which blesses, heals and prospers. Soon these will be your reality!” Rex SIkes

Make the most of today!

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Why It Is Important To Give And Get Recognition

what u put out u get back

“In my recent post I pointed out that RAVE (my acronym for Recognize Appreciate Validate Excellence) is a wonderfully powerful and important gift for people and for yourself. When we get RAVEd we can feel important, confident, respected, liked, loved or any number of positive wonderful feelings.

That moment of recognition can be a life long positive memory and resource the re-ignites all those incredible feelings whenever remembered. That is good reason to be certain to provide this experience to people important to you in life and business. It becomes a gift that keeps on giving. It may become a highlight and cherished memory for them.

There is another powerful reason for giving recognition, appreciation and validation to others. Creating positive experiences for others not only benefits them but benefits you. Remember the notion of what goes around comes around. You benefit whenever you do something wonderful for another person.

What you put out there comes back to you. I do not mean that because you recognize others that others will recognize you. They might. They most probably will but that is not what is meant. It is like a smile. When you smile nicely at another person you are more apt to get one back OR you just feel good for helping to make someone else feel good.

When you give positive energy out with no expectation of getting anything in return; when you commit an act of kindness simply for being kind; when you treat someone else marvelously just because you wanted to be nice you are benefiting yourself. You get to feel good about it.

You feel good because you made others feel wonderful. Both parties feel good. If there were nothing else that alone IS enough reason. Still, there may be something else. There may be that positive energy you generate for others DOES come back to you in any variety of ways.

This is the point of the Golden Rule. Treat others exceptionally well, shower them with positive regard, love and friendship. Validate and celebrate another person’s success without envy or resentment and you benefit.

Put into motion positive thoughts and feelings. Even if they never know about it YOU transform yourself. You become a better person.It changes you!  AND even if there is no return you STILL become a better person because of it.

You become a better person because you go first. You create something wonderful. There is no waiting, no whining, no blaming there is only great thoughts and feelings being generated. You become what you think about most of the time.

You can improve yourself by helping others mentally in your thoughts and in realty by your actions. Both work and both are important. Fill your life with gratitude, validation, positivity, happiness, joy, feeling marvelous, and you are more healthy and wealthy. From this mindset you can create anything you want.

You want more love. BE MORE Loving! You want better friendships BE A BETTER FRIEND. You want more money DEVELOP A RICH MINDSET. You want to feel better THINK BETTER. Thought precede actions and actions precede results.

You want better results? Begin with how you think and feel. Put the very best positive energy to work for you and for others. Create a marvelous world to be part of! Imagine how incredible your life will be when you make this an automatic, reliable habit.” Rex Sikes

Celebrate today!

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Why RAVE Is Important To All People! Use It!

beautiful thoughts positive emotions miracles

“What is it most people crave? They may not admit to it but they sure do respond well to it. Yes, they may downplay it when it happens, and attempt to act like it is no big deal, but it is a big deal and it is important. We all would like it much more often. Can you guess what it is?

In the olden days, not actually that long ago but it does seem a practice forgotten, companies used to send off their retirees with it. The military uses it, schools, churches and temples, charities, clubs and associations, frankly there is probably no organization of any size that doesn’t utilize it in some fashion. Can you name it now?

Okay, here it is. I call it RAVE.  Recognize Appreciate Validate Excellence! We all like to be recognized and appreciated. We need to feel validated. We respond well to others noticing our efforts and calling them out in positive ways. So when people have performed well through time or done something special they should be acknowledged. So RAVE about them!

Retirees used to get sent off with a gold watch and special thanks. The armed services, police, firefighters give medals for valor, service and sacrifice. Schools give awards for merit and diplomas, even scholarships. Businesses provide certificates, perks and dollar incentives.

Churches and temples, charities, hospitals have donor walls or plaques. The entertainment business has the Academy Awards among others. Nearly ever group of some kind has some ceremony or award they confer. There is a reason for this. Think about that for a moment.

These are long standing practices that exist for a solid reason. In some cases some of these ceremonies may have lost their special meaning but the practice has endured since early times!

People like and need to be recognized for who they are and for what they do OR for what they have accomplished. There are recognition ceremonies and banquets. People are brought up, told to stand up or in some manner spot lighted and honored or thanked. Though the recipient may down play this moment it is a very special moment.

People enjoy being recognized and typically perform better when they are. It is a special moment in their life. It can be used when people accomplish something, graduate from school or move up the ladder. Never underestimate the power of recognition and validation. People enjoy having others notice and it is important that we do.

Think about the important people in your life. Could be your parents or your children. It might be your friends and associates. It could be your employees or co-workers. Think about the people who mean a lot to you and consider how you might recognize them.

How might you provide a moment for them to shine? In what ways can you validate who they are and what they do and what they mean to you? Heck, we celebrate just another year of living with a ceremony. How much more important and meaningful is it to be recognized and validated for something other than simply growing older.

Let them know you value them! If you love them tell them and tell them some of the reasons why. Express your appreciation for them and let know how you feel. Come clean with your positive feelings of regard and gratitude and shower them with it. Help them feel truly special. Make their day with thoughts of lovingkindness.

Be specific too! Don’t just be general of vague with your praise but point out some specific behaviors you want to acknowledge. Have a ceremony if you can or a dinner. Make the occasion special, take some time and enjoy it. Make them comfortable and help them to truly feel how important they are to you and why they are.

People respond well to being awarded for merit so give them plenty of reasons to feel great about getting the special attention. Be genuine and they will get that you mean it. Imagine how good you might help someone else feel when you do this. Then remember there is someone else you absolutely must recognize, appreciate and validate. Yourself.

Pat yourself on the back! Recognize the progress you have made. When you have done something you intended to, when you have followed through and kept your commitments to yourself honor and respect that. Acknowledge and recognize it. Appreciate it and reward yourself. Love and thank yourself for being you. Feel the love! Genuinely gift yourself for your performance! RAVE about you to you!” Rex Sikes

Delight in this day!

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What Quality Determines Whether You Succeed?

people success after greatest failure NH

“What quality determines if you will succeed in your career? In life? WIthout it few ever make their dreams come true. You need this to be happy, healthy and wealthy. You can be, do and have anything you want in life if you embrace this quality.

Persistence. You must be able to carry on when others would quit. You must be unstoppable and not give up. If you will persist you will one day have what you want. Persistence means don’t give up and that you are wiling to do those things others won’t. If you will go beyond what others are willing to do you can write your own ticket.

Take one small, positive step in the direction of your goal daily and you will get there.  Do not allow yourself to be distracted. Do not miss a single day in the pursuit of your goal and you will succeed. If you skip a day it is likely you will skip other days. That is how people drift away from their goal. They cheat, skip, give in and give up.

If you want to succeed every day take one small step. Each day make at least one small action. If you commit to reading inspirational material each day and for some reason run out of time read a page. Read one sentence but read. Don’t just skip it and think you will do more or do double tomorrow. Keep your commitment to today!

Don’t blow it off. Reduce the amount you normally would read but read. Read just a sentence THAT is better than nothing. DO it. If you exercise, and you can’t then take a walk. Stand while you watch television. Don’t skip a day! Figure out how to take some small positive action to keep you on track. Develop positive habits!

Successful people never let things interfere with what is absolutely important to them. When people cheat on their goals and skip a day thinking they will make it up they don’t. It gets easier to blow it off the next time. Excuses then rule. Blaming begins. You want to believe in yourself not excuse yourself for not doing and later blame.

Don’t succumb to the temptation. Find a way to do something, anything, that constitutes staying on track and moving forward. You will benefit greatly if you do this. You will maintain positive momentum and attitude. You will not let yourself down. You can take pride in sticking with it. You will not have broken your commitment to yourself. That is a big deal! You honor and respect yourself!

When people break their promise to themselves it whittles away at their commitment. Each time adds more negative weight and makes it harder to stick at it. It becomes a slippery slope. Never allow it in the first place. Stay on track and you will feel better. Obstacles arise. There are times when you won’t feel like it. Life happens but stay with it. Keep your commitment. Persevere!

It is important to keep your commitment in even the smallest way. When you follow through no matter what you keep your spirit up. When you keep going in spite of challenges you realize you can and you feel better for doing so.  You can believe in yourself and your word! Don’t let yourself down and you’ll  win the game. You really can be, do or have anything you want if you will stay with making it happen.  Make your dreams come true. Win the game!” Rex Sikes

Have a beautiful day!

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What Kind Of Abundance Do You Experience PT 1

you decide every second

“You can have anything you want in abundance. Health, love, success, money, things. Or you can have anything you don’t want in abundance. Illness, broken relationships, failure, poverty, no home or possessions. The critical question is what kind of abundance are you creating and attracting?

You will get whatever your predominate thoughts are about. You will make happen and attract whatever you think about and focus on most of the day all the days of the week. What we concentrate on occupies our mind, our attention and our energy. Our energy goes into whatever we are preoccupied with.

So if troubles; lack of money or mounting debt and bills, discord in relationships, difficult home life, career disappointment or being out of work, are what you think about most day and night you are keeping your troubles alive. Worry is negative goal setting. What you think about you bring about.

Some time ago I was doing okay. Then some bad things happened. One after the other more bad things occurred. I wondered, ‘Why all this bad luck? Everything is going wrong!’ I used a lot stronger language I can assure you. It seemed everywhere I turned it only got worse. I complained, I whined, I tried to fix it desperately but it only continued. At the height of it all, I gave up. I realized at some point I couldn’t change it as I was. I had to change me.

I made it a point to read positive inspiring material every morning first thing. I’d read a page, a chapter whatever I could make work for the day. I would do it no less than thirty days. So I began. I read and listened to inspiring audios whenever I could. Slowly during the month my mindset relaxed and my attitude began to change bit by bit. I cautiously began to apply some of the things I was reading about and learning. I felt grateful I was taking the initiative.

I vowed to stay sane and not get carried away or become one of these ‘pink’ energy bubble people I had spent so much time around and even dated in years past. I wanted solid, practical, applicable skills, thoughts, and behaviors that would transform me without me becoming doe-eyed and hugging trees.

I didn’t want to become a cosmic cosmonaut with my feet six inches off the ground. I wanted to live in the everyday world and get some relief from nagging issues I carried with me, even though I have been a life long student and proponent of personal change and development.

If I had to become a weirdo to be happy then I really wasn’t all that interested. I read things from ancient texts, I read Napoleon Hill again, some more, throughout the years. I read others, anyone and everyone, who seemed to suggest that there was and is a realistic way to make wonderful things happen without relying on mysticism and other ‘beings’ to do it for me.

What can I say. Those thirty days transformed my life. At the conclusion of the thirty I continued the practice. I do to this day. I have learned and grown and have seen and understood so much. I have much to learn and yet to understand. Life though, is so much more incredible than I could have ever imagined. I filled myself with gratitude and joy. I felt confident and successful! I felt happy!

It has nothing to do with things or accumulations it is the depth of the change within me that I value most. I can enjoy possessions in ways I never did before. I am excited and eager and enthused in ways I never was before. I live and love living. Really, about all I can say is ‘WOW’! I feel so blessed and so thankful!

I can trace back to precisely what the first incident was and then the second that made me begin to realize I needed to approach things differently. It was a very difficult time for me as things went from bad to worse. I point this out because it seems this is often the way we come to changing ourselves. Something gets so bad, or we bottom out and we say, ‘stop, no more, never again’ and we move on into new ways of thinking and being.

Every moment of life is amazing EVEN when it appears not to be. I have done some incredible things in my life and I got settled and was coasting. I began to take things for granted. It was easy to complain when things started getting tougher. I even enjoyed complaining. Except when I did complain more and more of the joy and goodness and delight drained from me. I learned to put a guard on my thought and speech.

I AM SO GLAD IT DID!!! Had I kept going as I was going I can only bet it would have sucked even more. Fortunately, some glimmer inside me, told me I had to take the driver’s seat of my own life again. I am so thrilled and happy and pleased with the journey ever since. Did the skies open up and riches rain down on me. Nope, all things take some time. Gradually, bit by bit things got better.” Rex Sikes   More In Next Post!

Have a delightful day!

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Are You Ready? When The Student Is Ready The Teacher Appears!

old ways won't open new doors

“What makes a student ready? What makes a student? A student is one who takes interest in a particular subject, studies and learns. Then applies what one learns.

When I was a teenager, more than anything, I wanted someone who would show me the ropes in show business. A mentor. One day, by chance, I met a man. He was successful in the movie business, he had many successful proteges, and he saw something in me. He was willing to guide me for free.

He didn’t want anything in return. Truly, nothing, other than the satisfaction of seeing me make something of myself in the business I wanted to succeed in. That alone, terrified me. I was always second guessing his motives but I told him I was willing to do anything, professionally, it took to make it. I said that again and again.

So he told me what to do. He gave me the first step. ‘Oh, you don’t understand’, I’d exclaim, ‘I can’t do that.’ I would proceed to tell him why. He’d nod understandingly and explain that I could do that or do this other thing. ‘Oh no,’ I’d say, ‘I am willing to do anything but not that’. I didn’t want those lessons or could not see the value of pursuing a particular area.

Time and time again he would make suggestions. Most I would negate. Some I would try usually abandoning whatever it was he had me doing. He never complained. He completely accepted me resisting him and never threw up his hands or told me he would not continue. Our relationship lasted a number of years.

I left him eventually to find someone who could help me make it in showbiz. So what is a student? When is the student ready? A student becomes ready when the student is teachable. I was not teachable. I knew what I needed and was willing to do and not do. To say,’Yes, but’ and ‘no, you don’t understand’ and then provide reasons are really nothing but excuses. AND, pay attention here – Excuses ARE excuses and nothing else!!

The questions one has to ask oneself is ‘how teachable am I?’ Many people answer, ‘I am willing to learn anything’, but when the rubber hits the road they actually aren’t. I wasn’t. How teachable are you? How willing are you to change? How willing are you to change what you think and what you are doing to think and do something new?

Instead of being open and flexible of mind to take in NEW information and practices many people merely defend the old. That is what I did. I had all the reasons and defenses ready for why I could not or would not do or try something. If I didn’t think it would work or see the value in it I wouldn’t allow it in. I discarded it before understanding it by experiencing it. Excuses prevent new opportunities from occurring.

You cannot describe the taste of an orange to someone who has never tasted an orange. Nor can you describe the color red to the person who has never seen color. It is the experience of using the information that can be life changing. If one is not willing to apply the knowledge in order to change and get different and better results then one will remain stuck getting the same results they hope to improve. Instead of taking responsibility and becoming aware of their resistance most will simply blame others or circumstances thus insuring they remain the same.

It is the experience of tasting the orange that makes the difference. Information does not transform us. Knowing what to do and not doing it won’t make us a success. Applying what we know IS the difference that makes the difference. In order to learn, understand and apply it we first must be open to taking it in. We must not defend ourselves. We must let go of excuses and stop resisting.

People argue that what they previously learned, understood and know to be true is different from the new information they are being asked to accept. Instead of accepting the information they defend the old. They are not very teachable in that moment. In order to be ready you need to be an open vessel. I claimed to be open but was anything but. It is easy to self-deceive.

There is the story of a Master pouring a potential disciple a cup of tea. The master pours and continues to pour until the tea overflows and continues to overflow. ‘Stop!’ cries the potential student. ‘The cup is full.’ The Master replies, ‘When your cup is full you cannot add anything to it. Your cup must be empty. Go and empty your cup.’

The point should be obvious. The master deems that the student’s mind is too filled with what they already know. It is filled with too many potential objections, beliefs and resistance to be ready to learn. The student is not ready and open so is sent away. When ready the teacher appears. I was not ready. Many times I have not been ready. Just as with gardening the soil needs to be prepared and receptive to the seeds.

We need to recognize when we are listening only to speak and present our view instead of listening to gain understanding about things we don’t know about. We need to recognize when we are closed to new ideas and unable to accept information. We need to see when we resist and stop.

The way to being a good student is to recognize when we are not ready to learn and when we are ready to learn. Awareness is the key. For most of us this is a matter of ongoing management. The door is not always open. It is open and closed and open again. Then closed, and closed, then open. We need to discover when we close the door and open it to be available to new life changing information.

If we only understand the new opportunity, the new knowledge and experience, as an addition to what we already ‘think we know’ then it is just more information. Information alone won’t change us! We have to be willing to apply it. If we don’t use it we don’t know it. I ‘knew’ what to do! I was told what to do but I didn’t apply it so I didn’t get any benefit from ‘knowing’ the right things.

It is life changing when we are open and embrace it and use it. Then information, the lessons, lead us to new ways of thinking and being. Information doesn’t change us. Knowledge doesn’t change us. Only by using the knowledge can we begin to change. It is in the application of the knowledge where we learn the lessons. It’s the experience, the attempts, the defeats, the challenges that we learn from. Experience!

Seek to be open and available without judgement or analysis. You may analyze at another time but while learning it is not the time to evaluate the merit of what you are learning. You cannot fit a square peg into a round hole. The new material won’t fit into an old, already filled, container. You don’t put new wine in old wine sacks.

You can’t defend what you already know and remain open. That is not being open. That is refusing to accept! The mind is full, it is occupied it is busy and the Master cannot add any more to it BECAUSE it IS full. Some things take a very short time to learn; minutes at most but they require an entire lifetime to master. Quick to learn and a lifetime to master is the principle. Mastery comes by successfully applying the information in multiple circumstances over a duration of time. Correct repetition breeds good habits.

Learning to be open and being willing to change can take a long time to master. It is so simple it can be difficult to grasp. Stay open, be willing. We may claim we are open many times when we are not. I certainly have! Awareness is the key to change. Many times we will fall but we need to get back up and try again. Frequently, we will close the door to change while thinking we have left it open. We need to be able to notice when we shut down and resist.

A student is humble not defiant. A student is receptive. When the student is ready the teacher appears. Who is the teacher? It could be anyone and anything. It could be a life experience. It could be a formal teacher, a book or a seminar. The teacher IS whoever presents the lessons when the learner’s mind is open to receive. You can even be your own teacher at times.

No one can provide you life changing information that will make any difference whatsoever in your life until you are open and ready to receive it. They can preach it, teach it and shout it as loud and long as forever but until you are ready to hear it and embrace it the wisdom it falls on deaf ears. You have to be open and willing. You must also be willing to take the time to master the lessons. There is no substitute.

One might as well be yelling at a bunch of insects who are marching into certain destruction. They don’t know what is ahead. They can’t see it. – AND – The insects simply don’t understand the message! They don’t get the necessity of understanding it NOW! They aren’t able yet to understand you OR that you are attempting to help them! Unless you are open and teachable no teacher can teach you. It is more accurate to state a teacher presents IT IS THE LEARNER who learns. YOU either learn or you do not!

It is totally up to each of us. It is totally up to the individual student. The responsibility is 100% the student’s to be a good student. When you are a great responsible student you can learn from any source. The source may be wonderful or hardly adequate but as an incredible learner you can learn anything from anyone!

The questions one should continually ask oneself is, ‘How teachable am I?” and ‘What can I do to remain open and easily learn?’

If you are willing to learn you must be willing to change. You can’t remain the same if you want your life to be transformed. For your life to change you must change things in your life. You must change your thoughts, feelings and behaviors to get different results. If you are not willing to learn and are unwilling to change you won’t! You must also consider, ‘What is my willingness to change?’

Mindset, attitude and beliefs, your thoughts, always precede what you do and determine the results you get. If you are not pleased with the current results you are getting you must be willing to change things for you to get the results you’d prefer to get. Doing the same thing over and over again won’t get you different better results!

It is totally, and completely up to you and no one or anything else. This is the truth each of us must face. The responsibility is 100% ours alone. So, how teachable are you? How willing to change are you? Be honest with yourself. When you are ready the teacher does appear.” Rex Sikes

Have a blessed day!

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Do You Have The MindSet To Succeed?

act as if you already have it

“Do you want to succeed in career and life? If you want to be happy or and enjoy more of what life offers you need to adopt a winning mindset. To enjoy enduring success you must think as a successful person does. Attitude is everything.

If a successful person wants to do something it never occurs to them that they can’t do it. They believe in themselves and that they can accomplish what they want. They passionately pursue their goals because in their heart they know they can be, do or have anything they put their mind efforts into getting.

Do you think and behave this way? If they want it it is a done deal! The successful person would never question it. They have confidence in their ability to use their minds to create the circumstances they want created. The successful person takes 100% responsibility for achieving. They make things happen!

The person may adjust plans as needed but failure is not an option. Determination and persistence rule. The successful person believes in his/her abilities to make it happen. He believes it will happen and does not let circumstances or troubles get in the way. Challenges are perceived as just part of the game.  There is no defeat only temporary situations.

To succeed the mind must be conditioned for success.  Failure is preceded by thoughts of failure thought over again. Success is preceded by thoughts of success thought over and over again. Whatever we do repeatedly becomes a habit. Through correct repetition over time you can form positive habits. Happiness and success are habits.

It is habitual, automatic thinking. Your mindset precedes the results. If you are getting negative results it is due to your mind set. If you are getting positive results it is due to your mindset. If you aren’t getting what you want you need to change your mind set. Examine, evaluate, become aware and change your thinking as you need to.

Those who can are those who think they can. Happiness is a great indicator of success, yet, most people think success will bring them happiness. Build the habit of happiness. Build the habit of success. It is simple, it takes some discipline and it can be accomplished. Yet, most people don’t do it.  Will you? What is it you want in life?

Napoleon Hill stated, ‘Whatever  the mind can conceive and believe you can achieve.’  You can be, do and have anything you can imagine when you develop the attitude that you can. Happiness is not in the results the results come as a result of your happiness. Find your bliss first and everything else will fall into place.

Celebrate and enjoy. Be thankful and delighted. Stay optimistic, positive and powerful. You become what you think about. Henry Ford stated, ‘Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right!’ So, what you are thinking and feeling most of the time?” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day of discovery!

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