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How To Stop Being A Slave To Your Thoughts & Feelings!

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horizons road yellow lines

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could just stop thinking about things you didn’t want to think about? Did you know there is a way? Would you like to know what it is? It works! Before I get into what you can do let me ask you this. Have you ever watched a scary movie or a horrible show on TV or your computer late at night. It bothers you so you want to quit. You can’t stop thinking about it? What do you do? What is the best way TO STOP thinking about it?

If you said turn it off you’d be wrong. While that MAY work it usually doesn’t. When you turn off the scary show what typically happens? What happens once it is off? You KEEP thinking about! Right?

You turned it off to get away from it! BUT now all you do is think about it! Again and again. In the dark you cannot stop. You have to get up and turn on the lights. BUT still you keep thinking about it. That is the very thing you don’t want to!

The more you try to stop the more it keeps on. When you resist it what happens? You give it more energy. You are focused on fighting what you do not want so the more it persists! When you push back IT pushes back and vice versa. On and on it continues.

The way to change something or to stop something is not to fight or resist it. Nope!

What You Resist Persists

If you want to stop thinking about the horrible show turn the channel. Watch something else.

Get engaged with different upbeat content. Soon you will forget about the bad show. Brains don’t stop. They keep working. It takes more energy to try to shut them down than to re-direct them into a useful area.

You more easily think of something else when you direct your brain elsewhere. You withdraw your attention from what you don’t want and put your attention on what it is you do want. YOU CHANGE the channel in your mind!

I have called this Mental Aikido for decades because we redirect the energy of our thoughts.

A master of Aikido redirects the energy of an attacker. The master doesn’t resist the attackers energy or try to stop it. Rather the master utilizes it to subdue the attacker. We do the same thing with out thoughts. We don’t try to stop them. We redirect them into the positive.

If an attacker charges the master. The master doesn’t try to stop the attacker or block the attacker. The master will use the attackers momentum to pull him or push him into a different direction while tripping the attacker up and sending him to the ground.

The master won’t try to become a wall and stop the attackers charge. The master uses the energy offered to defeat the attack. I repeat: The master uses the energy offered to defeat the attack!

If you encounter something you don’t want. If you have negative thoughts or feelings or behaviors don’t fight them. They only persist that way. Acknowledge them and move on!

Turn Resistance Into Assistance

Redirect the energy. Think other thoughts. Read inspirational material. Listen or watch funny or uplifting audios and videos. Ask Directed Questions™ that lead you in more useful and positive directions. Divert your attention toward the positive.

Direct you attention to what you want, what feels better and which is more productive.

What else can you pay attention to? Get totally present. Notice and comment on what is immediately around you. Take inventory as you notice sights, sounds, feelings, smells and perhaps, even tastes. Explore the area around you. Comment on it. Put your focus there.

Become filled with gratitude and count your blessings. This is an excellent way to feel better instantly. Savor the wonderful feelings of those people, times, places and things you are most thankful for. Let your heart soften as you feel grateful. Soon you will feel marvelous!

Take a walk, work in the garden. Engage in some physical activity. Use your body differently. Change your physiology. Stand straight, smile. Put a determined look in your eye and walk as if loaded with confidence, positivity and self esteem!

Sing, skip, or dance. Jog or hike. But move and use your body differently. You can do any of these things or more than one.

Take Responsibility

You alone a responsible for your emotions. You are responsible for your own emotional well being. You alone can control what you think, feel and do. Only you. No one else can do it for you.

Might it take some time to get the knack of it? Yes, especially if you have lived your life as a victim to your thoughts and feelings and circumstances. Then it may take a little time. So what?

You can change from victim and become a victor. You can become a winner and a champion!

You simply must take control. Take 100% responsibility. Decide to commit to redirecting your energy whenever you notice it is less than glorious. If you don’t like it or don’t want it, or if you are feeling down and bad take it as a signal.

It is a message delivered to you personally so you can redirect your energy. Negative thoughts and feelings ARE signals that you are paying attention in less than useful ways to things you don’t want. Direct your attention toward the positive. Look into what you do want instead.

Energy Flows Where Your Attention Goes

You can’t stop the river! There is too much energy. If you try to dam it up you end up spending much more energy in managing it. You have to keep it from building up and overflowing. Even then you really cannot stop the river. It still is coming.

BUT, like the Aikido master, you can redirect the flow.

You can direct your energy into positive, powerful, pleasant, healthy, fun and fascinating directions. No need to suffer or remain the same when you can change yourself into anyone you want to be.

You can learn to do anything you want to do. You can have anything you want in life. All this is possible when you take charge of the brain between your ears.

Direct Your Thoughts And Feelings And Your Behaviors Will Follow

You thoughts instantly become things. Your thoughts become actions. When you think happy wonderful thoughts your body responds with action. You smile, your countenance lightens up, you feel uplifted, you might laugh. Your voice resonates. You feel on top of the world.

When you think angry thoughts you feel hot. You experience pressure. You become flushed. Your face gets red as your body responds. Thought become things. Thoughts produce action. Your body responds to your thoughts.

When you think sad depressing thoughts your face pulls downward. Your energy wanes. Your breathing becomes shallow. You feel lackluster and depleted. You shoulders slump forward and you compress your chest. You move sluggishly, slowly.

Thoughts Become Things

Change what you are doing. Even a small change in the correct direction matters. Space ships are guided by degrees. So are sailing ships. A one degree change of course now means hundred of thousands of miles difference later.

For example, a rocket aimed at the moon is constantly correcting its course very slightly. If it got off course by ONLY one degree after take off it would miss the moon by hundreds of thousands of miles. Just a small degree of change means a lot of change.

Change it into a positive direction. Tiny steps in your own best interest right now can have monumentally large results down the road. If you want a more wonderful and glorious future then begin today.

A Single Tiny Change In The Right Direction Can Have A Huge Positive Payoff

Take charge! Be responsible. Direct your mind in positive ways towards what you want.

Be your own best friend. Support and nurture yourself. Have fun while you change. Enjoy the process. Celebrate and fill yourself with gratitude and right attitude. You will discover so much richness and well being when you do! Commit to directing and re-directing you own mind. Don’t be a slave to your thoughts and feelings. Be their master!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today!

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so.

PSS  A great practice is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

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COMING VERY SOON –  Daily Inspiration And Gratitude’s new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this and new content will be at new site. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. You will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. Please stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Acceptance, Attitude, Blessings, Confidence, Emotions, Focus, Forgiveness, Getting Over The Past, Gratitude, Intentional Thinking, Love, Overcoming Difficulty, Patience, Personal Development, Positive Thoughts, Relationships, Responsibility, Self Improvement

What To Do When Things Go Terribly Wrong!!

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“What do you do when things are going right and then whoops everything seems to be going wrong? What does a positive thinker do when they screw up and make a mistake? Do they feel bad? Can they, should they? I have been asked this question a lot over the years.

Recently, a situation presented itself, that allowed me to address these questions again. I hope you discover the answer within as you read what I share next.

I received a call from a couple who are coaching clients of mind. They hit the Wall of Woe and were on their way to a Pity Party when they dialed the phone and reached out.

Problems Have Seeds Of Opportunity Within

They had an argument with their son. They felt they had pushed him into it and were afraid they had lost him. Their concern was that he might move out and they did not want it to come to that.

Their anguish stemmed from feeling he was taking advantage of them. They were willing to do almost anything for him and it seemed he did little in return. After much asking and begging him to take some responsibility around the house they had it. They got mad.

Friends were more important to him. He would do anything for his friends but provided almost no help around the house. He overslept a lot and broke agreements regularly. They know he is a teenager but after a while of this they had had it.

They let him know they were very upset. Now they were afraid they had pushed him too hard and far. I was glad they called. They were at the end of their rope with guilt and shame. Dad felt awful for yelling loudly and Mom did too.

It Is Okay To Be Human

We all have opinions about parenting style and responsibility. We all have rules and ‘shoulds’ for ourself and for others. They felt they had done wrong but weren’t completely wrong in doing so. They felt conflicted.

They felt they should have and could have handled it differently. They knew they were pushing hard at the time and now they feared. I am not sharing what we did regarding that. Every situation is handled uniquely and appropriately for the client.

Many of my coaching clients are business leaders, filmmakers and actors and individual men and women (married or otherwise) but I do consult with a some couples. I am not discussing their parenting here but I will tell you some of what I shared with them regarding their feelings.

We all hit that wall from time to time. It is natural. Life has ups and downs. There are rhythms to everything. We all have the ability to disappoint ourselves and hurt others without meaning to. We are human and most of us feel the hurt deeply. We also have the ability to feel marvelous.

We Make Mistakes – Accept It – To Err Is Human

It IS okay to be a positive thinker AND have a bad day. It IS okay to be working on improving yourself AND slip up from time to time. It IS okay to be human! A positive thinker is one who seeks to find the positive in a situation. Sometimes that is difficult or takes time to recognize.

Attempting to be perfect is not be natural. All emotions are part of the human condition. It is okay to feel hurt, disappointed, angry, and guilt. It is normal to feel any and all of them. So accept what you did. Take responsibility for it and when ready move on.

Make good when you can, if you can. Apologize if an apology is needed or will help the other person. Process what happened and how you are feeling and move forward when you are ready to move on. Forgive. It may not do anything for the other person but it will help you.

Allow all the feelings, allow what is going on. If you cry, cry that is fine. Whatever occurs allow it. When ready move on. You feel it and when it is over let it go. The waves come in but they also go out. Guilt is good if it keeps up from repeating a behavior that may be harmful to self or others.

Allow  Let Go  Move On

Feel enough quilt to get the message. Resolve to be different and let go of the guilt. It did its job. Do not hang onto emotions needlessly.It is no longer required. Some people have great difficulty in living normal, well-adjusted lives. Just be you! Feel it and let it go.

The more I learned to manage my thinking and my emotional states the less time I needed before I moved on. What used to take days, or weeks or longer now takes a much shorter time. Sometimes days, hours, minutes or seconds. Sometimes it takes longer too. It is whatever it is. Whatever it is – it is the right thing, the right amount.

There is no right or wrong amount of time to spend processing hurt or loss. Allow what feels natural and right. Don’t blame yourself or others. Don’t be harsh and critical of yourself. You made a mistake. It is part of being human. We all make them.

Treat Yourself Gently

Be gentle, respectful, kind and loving of yourself and the other party. When ready aim your thoughts and feelings back toward the positive. Steer yourself again into a powerful position. Look for the smiles and feel the gratitude. Focus on what you want.

Celebrate the learning from the recent situation. I’ve discovered that truly all things work together for good. Blessings and delights are always around the corner. Sometimes we just can’t see them. Turn back to gratitude and celebration. Dwell on good things.

Some times our darkest moments become our finest hour but we don’t know that while going through it. UNLESS – unless you condition yourself to begin to always think this way.

Learn Patience

Your awareness increases through your daily commitment and experiences. The longer you practice positive thinking the better equipped you are when things go wrong. You more easily recognize that all challenges also present opportunity.

Then you may be more prepared for difficulty. We become what we think about most during the day.Then when upset occurs you know  it will pass. There will be reason to celebrate and be thankful through all of it.

Perhaps, this couple and their son needed this exact exchange. For whatever reason. Perhaps not. Who can say?  As long as they love each other and are willing to forgive each other they will do fine. It may take some time or it could resolve quickly.

Make New Mistakes

Great good can come from these circumstances if they are willing to look for and become aware of it. It is obvious this family does deeply love and care for each other. As long as they seek to accept and understand each other they will be fine.

We all would be better if we put these principles into practice with our loved ones and friends. Be patient with yourself, others and circumstances. Remember, this problem will pass. Cultivate Patience!

Yes, positive thinkers can stumble and fall. Everyone falls! Not everyone gets up. It is in the getting up that victory is born. Get up, shake the dust off and move on. Everyone makes mistakes. Accept it, correct it as best you can and move forward.

Learn from it so you don’t make the same mistake again but make new ones each time. Never try to be perfect. Just be who you are. Who you are is already someone wonderful. Celebrate and be thankful for everything in your life. Be glad to be human!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy this beautiful day!

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so. If you benefit from these words please help someone else benefit too.

PSS  A great thing to do is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Acceptance, Attitude, Emotions, Energy, Faith, Friendship, Happiness, Love, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Relationships, Self Improvement, Smiling

What To Do When Hurting

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“Are you hurting? Have you been hurt, sad and disappointed? Do you know anyone who is grieving? How about family and friends who are down and out, things just aren’t working well for them and they could use some help? Know anyone like this? It could be you or someone else? It could be someone close to you or a stranger.

It is true we all have struggles. There are difficulties people face. Some manage better than others but the fact is that everyone at sometime has pain and suffering, hurt and loss. We all are human and there is a wide range of human emotions.

We need to understand that people hurt. Even people who have more than you or I, or who seem to have it all together face challenges. There are people more fortunate and less fortunate but it rains and shines on all.

Understand this and have more compassion. Understand that we all need a kind word from time to time, a hug, a look of understanding, or silent but present support. Some people want you to help fix it with them, or even for them. Others don’t want any help they just want you to stand with them and for them.

Sometimes we need to be quiet while people get it together at other times the may want, need or expect some encouragement. Most importantly, whether family or friend, or stranger all people need a true friend at times.

Open your heart to all people. Spread love and light around. Even if it is only in your positive imagination that is better than judgement and criticism. Wish people well. Send them kind thoughts and energy. Help them if you are able. Accept their suffering and allow them to be who they are without conditions.

When we understand we are all in it together we can discover more happiness for each of us. A rising tide lifts all boats. Pain passes as do joys. Tomorrow brings another day. Darkness precedes dawn. Day gives way to night. There are cycles too. Allow nature to take its course. Be patient. ‘This too will pass’.

Be sensitive. Be kind. Be tolerant and accepting. Be more welcoming and inviting. Open up and extend your kindness to everyone. Even those who you may have thought, in your past, that they didn’t deserve it. Transform yourself. When you include all others YOU transform because you become available. Be gentle and loving. Spread peace. Help make someone’s day a little easier.

If you are hurting the best way out is to help another who is hurting too. If you need help or a kind word allow yourself to ask for it. Be a friend to others and be a friend to yourself. Treat yourself as you would treat a loved one who is needing compassion. Love yourself!

Sometimes people just need a smile. Smile more today. Give a positive nod. Let people know you see them, they aren’t invisible. They count! Help make another person’s day more pleasant. Enjoy giving someone an emotional boost. Speak well, speak to bless, heal and prosper all. As you do this you will feel it!

Your heart will open more and you may experience all sorts of little joys and big ones you didn’t know possible. Delight in helping others delight! You will discover there is magic everywhere!” Rex Sikes

Have a great day!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

 

Attitude, Decision, Energy, Expectations, Faith, Focus, Habit Formation, Happiness, Intentional Thinking, Joy, Personal Development, Positive Affirmations, Positive Thinking, Responsibility, Self Improvement, Self Talk

How To Stop Blaming And Start Living

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Phil Koch horizon songs of the setting

“How do you respond when someone lets you down? What do you do?  Have you ever blamed or accused them? Did you later regret it? Have you accused, blamed or found fault with your children when what you really want to do is simply love and nurture them?

We don’t want to blame our kids, do we? Perhaps, you blamed your spouse, of life partner, a sibling or friends. Did it help or make things worse?  Usually, it really doesn’t help, does it?  Would you like to find a way to help you respond differently?

In my last blog I shared with you some ideas for putting a stop to self blame and working to follow through on promises you make. I hope you will put the information into practice. That is the proper use of knowledge. To use it! Today I’ll share some on how to ease up on others.

Stop Blaming Others

Nobody likes to be blamed.! Find a way to stop. It may sound easier to do than in actual reality but you can make this change if you really want to. Intense desire for change makes it all the more possible.

When you are sick and tired of the old way being and positive you want to move forward in a new way that makes it much more likely. You have to want it! That is important. Extremely important!

Okay, for example: There are times when others promise you something but drop the ball. They promise you but do not follow through. It may feel good to hurl insults at them and accuse them and tell them how let down you are but it accomplishes little.

In the short term you may have the upper hand but it rarely helps you get what you want it to.  It is mostly just a way to punish. Your ego may be satisfied but nothing else changes. So do something else!

The key to changing behaviors is changing your mindset. Since thought precedes actions working with your thoughts is the place to begin. Most people can use a positive attitude adjustment anyway.

Determine What You Want

First, you know what it is you want to change or eliminate or at least do less of. You have identified the unwanted behavior. Great, now let it go and identify the behavior you want to do instead. What do you want? This is what you focus on from here on out.

You shift your focus away from blame and to what you want to do instead. Perhaps, it is to understand better; listen attentively; be compassionate; or act more loving. Focus on the replacement behavior not the behavior you wish to eliminate.

When traveling you think of your destination and where you want to go. You determine where you want to end up. You can’t be focused on the city you left, looking back at it and move forward at the same time. You have to look towards where you want to go. Steer yourself towards what you want.

You have to want to change. I already said that, but it is important! Really want it and know what you want.

Phrase It In The Positive

What you think and say is important. It is critical. What you say is a reflection of what you think and feel. Words have their own creative power. So you want to state what you want positively. You need to phrase it in positive words. ‘I want to eat healthy food’ rather than ‘I won’t eat donuts’.

You want the mental image to be of what you want. You want healthy food. You want to eat healthy. You want to eat correctly. You want to eat to maintain your ideal weight. This is what you keep in mind and affirm to yourself.

When you say, ‘I don’t want to eat donuts’ or ‘I won’t eat donuts’ What do you picture in your mind? Donuts!  All you end up thinking about are donuts. Remember, we get what we focus on. We become what we think about. It is no different than saying, ‘don’t think of a purple elephant wearing a yellow hat’. Ooops too late.

Since the mind doesn’t process negative language, ‘don’t, won’t, will not’ etc., you want to be certain you phrase your positive affirmation the way the mind processes.  State, ‘I want to breath freely’ not ‘I want to quit smoking’. ‘I want to listen for understanding’ rather than ‘I won’t blame’.

Speak Only To Bless, Heal And Prosper

Don’t get hung by your own tongue! What we think about is what we talk about. What we say has power too. If we talk about negative things or talk negatively about things we get that negativity back.

If you state, ‘I am unlucky’, or ask yourself, ‘why am I so unlucky’ your brain will deliver the answers. Most likely will be more than one because the brain won’t stop at just one example of ‘why’.

If you say, ‘I dread tomorrow’ or ‘I’m having a bad day’ you will. You get back what you put out there. Stop it and make it a point to only speak that which blesses, heals and prospers you and others. You can’t be blaming yourself or others if you can only bless, heal and prosper.

Restrict yourself to find only the best things to think and say. It will take some time to form the habit but you can do it if you want to. Correct repetition repeated frequently for long enough is how we form any habit. People form bad habits and good habits the same way. It is time to start forming some positive productive habits.

Take Responsibility

You are responsible for your own feelings. If someone lets you down it is up to you how you chose to respond. If you react out of anger and blame them you are not taking responsibility but shifting it to them. It doesn’t belong with them.

You are responsible for your feelings when you trust someone else to follow through for you. You are giving away your power when you expect someone else to act for you. You are no longer  doing it they are.

Right there, at this point, you have relinquished control. If that person disappoints, for whatever the reason, ultimate you set the situation up for that to happen. Own this. It is your responsibility.

You may not have intended it to work out as it did but you placed your satisfaction in someone else’s hands. If they let you down and didn’t do what they promised it may suck. You expected them to deliver and they did not. Maybe, you should not have expected it or you should have done it yourself to be certain.

Do you see what I am aiming at? Yes, they did not complete the act as you hoped but it is your hoping and expecting that is the issue. Some one said, ‘disappointment requires adequate planning’. You wouldn’t be let down if you hadn’t expected them to do something in the first place.

When you put your faith in someone else to follow through on your behalf anything can come up to prevent them. Don’t get bent out of shape. I believe people should honor their word but when others let us down it really is our choice how we respond.

The best response may be, ‘oh well’ and then think how to solve or remedy the situation if it is a problem. Don’t get hooked into the disappointment and blame someone else.

Stop Take  A Deep Breath 

If you want to respond more positively and not blame you need to not get hooked. Go back and read through my blogs on how to keep from getting hooked. Go back and read all my blogs it would be good to revisit again and again.

Fill your mind with positive inspiring material over and over again. It makes it easier to only think and speak those things that bless, heal and prosper when you fill your mind. Fill it and keep it filled!

When you begin to get hot, flustered, frustrated or angry and you notice it you want to take a deep breath and interrupt the behavior. There is a sequence we each go through when ‘losing control’ or ‘getting angry’. The key is to be come aware this is happening as soon as possible.

When you are get angry what happens? How do you know you are getting angry? Describe what you first notice when ‘losing control’. When you do this you will begin to recognize the sequence; what happens first, then second and after that and so on.

Some people, ‘see red’, or ‘get hot under the collar’, ‘can’t see straight’, or hold their breath, or feel themselves getting hot, or raise their voice, or pound their fist. Notice what happens as you get angry. Pay close attention to what is the very first thing that happens inside you that let’s you know anger is happening.

That is the moment you want to catch. In many blogs I shared insights into preventing the negative unwanted emotions from gaining momentum and flooding you. You want to short circuit those impulses when you get mad and begin to blame.

You stop, interrupt them, and divert the energy into moving in a more positive direction. You leave the old and focus on the new. A great practice is to take a deep breath and as you let it out, sigh.

This creates a pause in the sequence. Take another breath and another. Walk if you need to. Release the energy through productive movement. Shift your attention from what is upsetting or hooking you to what solution you can find. What are you able to do to resolve it? What resources do you have? Think along these lines. Do it!

Manage Your Expectations.

I repeat, anything can happen, anything can come up to prevent someone from successfully following through. So don’t put so much faith in others to please you. It is not their job. You know the saying, ‘Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me’.

You can trust that they will follow through and you can hope BUT if they don’t, for any reason, let it go. You cannot dictate outcomes when you give up control. You need to learn that, adjust and move on.

When you blame you give up your power. You hurl negative energy and that is what you focus on since it occupies your attention. Whatever you focus on expands and that is what you get back. You get more negativity. STOP!

When you assume responsibility you put yourself in charge. You take control. When you are responsible for everything concerning you 100% (even if in reality this may not be accurate) it gives you tremendous power. You assume responsibility.

Claim Your Power Take Control

People can let you down. They may or may not follow through. Sometimes, that is just the way of life. Get over it. There will always be things that don’t go as anticipated. You may have to make corrections for others actions. Suck it up and move on!

When things don’t go as you hoped you can feel bummed or you can put on your positive thinking cap and realize a new opportunity now exists for you. You may not be able to see it yet. You probably won’t be able to. Even if you can’t yet see it there is something there that one day you might discover.

This COULD BE the very best thing that COULD HAVE happened. It COULD be. Only in looking back will you truly know. Time will tell. Expect the best. Stay positive! Often, people look back at something that, when they were going through it, thought it was the worst thing that could ever happen.

NOW, however, they describe it as the BEST thing that ever happened to them. When you look back you are able to see how your decisions led you to where you are right now. A change of perspective allows you to see things differently.

Spend Your Time Wisely

How you spend your time is important. You can be bummed, blame others and yourself. You can let negativity consume you OR you can think, ‘oh well’ and move on. Assume control, take charge, do what you can do to fix it and expect it to work out for the best. Attitude is everything! Stay positive.

You can never be 100% certain they won’t let you down. BUT you can increase your odds. Even then, be wise enough to know, anything is possible and don’t get hooked.

One way to increase the likelihood that they will keep their word is to make it a big deal when they do something for you. Genuinely act so delighted with their attempt that you encourage them to want to please you more in the future.

Teach Them How To Treat You By Going First

Because you respond so positively they don’t want to disappoint you. They like that you are thrilled with them or with their results. Teach them how to treat you by treating them that way first. Encourage!

If you help them feel good all the way through the process they are more likely want to make you feel good with the results. This makes it win win! Whenever you can help another person to win and to feel good do it! It will go a long way towards you feeling good.

When you want something from someone validate that person first. Make them feel good about doing what they are doing for you. Whenever you ask anyone to do anything for you, IMPLIED in your request IS A PROMISE you will be delighted with the result. Keep your promise!

Keep your promise to yourself and to others. Be delighted. Make your tasks and your promises ones you can succeed at. Manage them by making them do-able. Then you will never fail.

Then you can praise and encourage yourself and others along. Life will become much more wonderful when you drop blame and make what you want to happen happen. You can do this! You can find a way and as you do everything becomes so much more delightful!” Rex Sikes

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Delight and celebrate this day!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

Attitude, Creating The Future, Emotions, Expectations, Focus, Getting Over The Past, Habit Formation, Overcoming Difficulty, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Relationships, Responsibility, Self Improvement

Sick Of The Blame Game? Learn The Secret How Not To Play It!

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phil koch horizon 1

“Sometimes you screw up and make a mistake. What do you do? You have had times when either you have hurt somebody else or yourself. Do you own up to it? Do you blame others or do you blame yourself? It is easy to do. What do you do? Do you take responsibility?

After all is said and done if you did it or didn’t do what you were supposed to it IS your responsibility. It is your responsibility. Let that sink in. It is your responsibility. No one else is responsible but you.

It Is Your Responsibility BUT Not Your Fault.

These are not the same. Responsibility means it is up to you. It suggests you have a burden or obligation to follow through on. You do, this is true. You should be responsible to yourself and others. You should keep your word.

Accountability (to be accountable)  means you are answerable for or liable for the actions. You are. If you follow through or not on your word, whatever the outcome, you are answerable for your actions. There may be consequences. Usually there are.

Fault, as a noun, means responsible as in ‘I am responsible. It is my fault’. Fault as a verb means to criticize, condemn, attack, and censure. Typically, fault means to  blame. Stop blame!

If you are responsible for something and you don’t do it you should accept you did not do it. You are both responsible and accountable. You are answerable to and for your obligation. The buck stops with you. You should not blame others nor should you blame yourself.

You Are Responsible You Are Accountable But Without Blame

Blame is an added on reaction that has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with others. It is something you learned to do from others while growing up. In blaming other people you seek to escape the consequences for your actions.  You did not, nor do you, want to be punished. No one does, typically.

Parents, peers, teachers, friends have and blamed you while telling you you were responsible and accountable for your actions. The two were unfortunately paired.  As a result when things go wrong you look for someone to blame. This should stop! Finding fault is not the key to positive personal development.

You don’t have to blame yourself to accept responsibility and accountability for actions. When you blame yourselves you punish yourself. You learned to be critical, to condemn and to be hard on yourself.

The original intent, most likely, was to insure you don’t escape the consequences of your actions. The intent may have been worthwhile but what you learned to do while growing up resulted in bad feelings, poor self image and self esteem. You can learn to be loving, kind, gentle and permissive instead.

Stop Blaming Yourself 

If you tell someone you will call them and you don’t. Accept responsibility and be accountable. Call them and apologize. Make good on your promise. Make no excuses, don’t blame yourself or anything else. Own up!

Be willing to state, ‘I didn’t do it. I am sorry I dropped the ball’. Then make good on it. Do what is necessary to repair the situation. Accept responsibility, apologize and never repeat the same mistake twice.

Repair the situation if you are able. If you are not able to (for whatever the reason) then do whatever you have to do to set it straight. Leave the person you let down better off than before. Never leave someone worse off! Make full amends then go the extra mile.

Then, privately, pat yourself on the back for owing up to it and following through with your original intentions. Pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for making good without excuses or blame.

Acknowledge that you took responsibility, owned up, made good, corrected the situation and feel good. Enjoy these good feelings. OWN them! The positive feelings are important! Embrace them!

As you continue the practice of acknowledging yourself positively when you do take responsibility you will learn a new response to it. You will encourage these behaviors to become new habits for you.

Encourage What You Want To Be Able To Do

When you want a baby or toddler to repeat behaviors, if you are a loving parent, you nurture the behavior through encouragement and reward. You help the child feel good about what the child is learning to do. You want good feelings! You praise and promote the child.

Creating pain and punishment leads to fear, helplessness and in some cases hopelessness. Sadly, after the child learns the behaviors, too many people then hold the child accountable and blame if child doesn’t perform as expected. This cycle is repeated in families and by teachers and peers from ancient times to today. It is how we learned to find fault, accuse and blame.

If you try to do something for yourself or family and it doesn’t work out understand that blaming yourself doesn’t help you. Take responsibility and be accountable. That helps! Blame, self criticism, self condemnation, calling yourself names, feeling bad does not. Blame adds insult to injury. Blame is negative.

Find A Way To Release Yourself From Self Blame.

If you want to clean the garage or organize your office or home space but you typically don’t follow through it is easy to fall into self blame. Here’s what you can do when you promise yourself that you will do something. Whatever it is you want to do. If you say you are going to do something – do some thing!

Take tiny steps. Don’t commit to doing it all by a certain deadline. Take it piece by piece. Break it down into easy, manageable tasks that you can easily do.  Make it a point that you are going to pick up or throw out or put away one item each time you enter and leave the room.

This is possible. This is completely do-able! It may take longer to get the room cleaned but each time you do something, you want to and intend to do, you can feel good that you are moving in the right direction. You are creating some forward momentum.

Create Small Wins And Doable Actions

You promised yourself you will read inspirational material 30 minutes a day but you don’t. You let yourself down. You broke your promise. Instead of blame or feeling bad commit to less time. Commit to few minutes. How about 5minutes. If you can’t do that 1 minute.

How about a page? One page, a single page. You COULD do that! Put books in the bathroom and read while in there. Take a book with you wherever you go. Read when you can’t do anything else or when there is nothing else to do. You are stopped at a railroad crossing – read! While waiting for someone, or your coffee or meal -read!

If you want to gain or lose weight or change your eating habits. Break it into tiny steps you can easily do and keep doing. Maybe you want to exercise more or relax more. You want to save more money. You want to think more positively. Anything you can think of.

Whatever you want to accomplish you can do. Make it manageable. Remember, drop by drop fills the tub. It is bette to have small wins often than big loses.

It is better to encourage yourself bit by bit than condemning yourself repeatedly for not following through. You can do this for yourself and you can help others to do it for you as well. Win big overall by gathering little wins along the way.

If you are always succeeding you won’t be blaming and criticizing yourself. When you drop that, when you let it go, and you love and enjoy yourself life becomes so much better. You are so much more free to be, do and have anything you want in life.

Next blog I’ll discuss how you might handle it, what you can do, when others let you down.

How To Easily Make And Keep Positive Changes

Learn to keep your promise to yourself. The key to learning and changing and making the changes you want to make and keeping them is this: Do the right things, consistently, long enough. Put into practice your positive practices. DO them! Repeat them correctly, consistently over time and you will make them new reliable habits.

Stop blaming yourself. Stop finding fault. Release yourself. Acknowledge, praise and encourage. The more you do the more you will be able to do. The more often you become aware of opportunity the more opportunities you will discover. Accept mistakes. Be responsible and accountable, correct and move forward.

Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Make it manageable and you can do anything. The tallest building in your neighborhood was built one brick or board at a time. Each day construction workers did a little bit more until one day the building was completed. YOU can do this too!

Be delighted. Make your tasks and your promises ones you can succeed at. Then you will never fail! As you do this you will discover so much more that adds delight and enjoyment to your daily experience. It feels good to be winning. Celebrate and enjoy it! ” Rex Sikes

NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS     NEWS  

*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Have a wonderful!

Enjoy what is glorious about you today!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

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Would You Like Your Joy To Know No Bounds?

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sometimes we need adversity to become successful

“Research has demonstrated many times over that our beliefs and attitudes determine what we see and find in the world. Our mindset determines the results we get. What we perceive to be our reality is our reality.

Scientific research into the brain, neuroscience, our neurology, our neurological filters, consciousness, ‘the maps’ we live from verify that what we think creates our reality. Whether we enjoy the results we get or not is determined by what we think about.

Most people just don’t get this. I always maintain that the delusion IS the great illusion, or said differently, the illusion IS the delusion. Some people tend to believe that there is an outer world we must contend with. They think we don’t have choice. They insist there is only hard core reality.

Perception Is Everything

They are the type who don’t put stock in positive thinking because it didn’t work, or they haven’t actually tried it but dismiss it anyway, because they believe differently.

Because they don’t believe it works the way I have described it must work the way they believe it does. Do you get this? Either way we are discussing mindset and its effects.

Then there are those who believe that the outer reality is a reflection of our inner reality. How we perceive the world is how we experience it. Perception is everything and it frames our experience. We often find what we expect to find. Whether they believe, or even know about the science, they tend to align with the scientific thinking.

Quantum Physics describes the world in terms of participation. There is an observer who influences the process while being influenced by the process. It is one and the same with many facets that appear separate. Our universe may be holographic. It is described as a matrix or a a field with everything connected or part of each other. In the hologram the whole is contained in each piece perfectly.

If you make a holographic image on the film plate. Then shatter the plate. The entire image is contained in each and every piece without losing any of its original properties. Everything, all the information is there in each single piece. For example, if the hologram were made of the Mona Lisa every fragment would still contain the entire image of the Mona Lisa. Some researchers believe this helps explain our experience in our ‘field’ or matrix.

The Entire Whole Is Contained Within The Part

For some people the concepts are difficult to wrap their head around. Particularly, if they adhere to hard core outer reality. I find ancient philosophers and some scientists have much in common. The world, our experience of it, is a rich, varied mystery. Here is my bottom line.

I choose to believe the world is friendly. If I have choice and I can look for smiles or frowns I am going to look for smiles. If I have to find the good or the bad, well then, I am going to look for the good.

I know that if I look for smiles I will find them. I may also find a frown as well but I won’t let that bother me. Both exist and both are noticeable. If I have a say in the matter then I will chose what I think best for me. I chose to be happy, look for the good and enjoy it all.

Positive thinking doesn’t mean ignoring problems it means looking for solutions. It means finding the potential in each situation whether good or not so good. It means look at the possibilities and aim for the best outcome. I think it is very realistic and it accomplishes lots.

The World Conforms To What I Think And Say It Is

Some would say that is unrealistic and optimism is not always a good thing. I say, if I have choice I am going to choose. If I can be happy why would I ever choose to be unhappy? Some will have reasons for why they might choose unhappiness. That is their choice.

That is what they believe. I believe what we believe determines what we get. So it explains a lot. I have accomplished more in less time as a positive thinker taking responsibility for what I create and do than I ever have as a negative thinker. Positivity and Intentional Thinking leads to more productive actions.

I am 100% responsible for myself. I am 100% responsible for my thoughts, my behaviors and my circumstances. This is how I choose to live. Things from the outside may have an influence but it is up to me how I choose to respond.

I can control my thoughts therefore my feelings and behaviors. I determine my mindset. I shape my attitude and expectations. I fill my mind with the best so that my mind gives me the best. I focus on the best feelings.

What I Look For I Find

I choose to experience and savor feelings of gratitude, love, joy, peace , happiness. curiosity, wonder and amazement. I enjoy feeling eager anticipation and exhilaration. I like making things happen and discovering how things come together in surprising ways.

Birds of a feather flock together. Our brains work by association and when it finds one example it can find numerous. I want it to find more wonderful things and fewer less than glorious things so I focus on what is good and new.

I know we attract back and create more of what we put out there. We become what we think about. So I am very picky what I think about. I wasn’t always but I have learned to be and it has paid off big.

It isn’t always easy but it is within my control. It is the one thing I am able to control. I can’t and don’t control yours. I don’t make the world spin but I can have control of my thinking process.  I can choose to watch it or I can choose to manipulate it.

I Control My Thoughts And My Experience

It is similar to driving in my car. I choose where I want to go and I am responsible for getting there safely. Things arise that require my attention and I may have to adjust to remain safe and remain traveling to where I want but that I can do.

Some times it is very easy. Other times it requires more effort but that is just how it is. I don’t complain or whine about it. I don’t blame myself or anyone else. When I realize I am making it tougher than it need be I adjust what I am doing and move on.

It wasn’t always like this. For much of my early life, though I started researching this around age 10, I didn’t understand it really. I immersed myself deeply but still I would describe it as dabbling. I tried things but felt I wasn’t in control. I couldn’t. Maybe others could get it to work but not me.

Year after year I sought to learn, to grow, to change, to master and yet it seemed to elude me. I went on to teach this stuff by my mid 20’s and had some success. Then one year I had a banner bad year. It looked like I might lose everything. I was consumed with thoughts of why this was happening to me. I was unlucky.

Change The Bad To The Better

I couldn’t believe  how one bad thing after the other happened. At one point I woke up. I realized I have to change something because it wasn’t getting any better on its own. I had to do something! I concluded it my thinking and my attitude that was at the heart of my difficulties. My mindset was the cause of these events.

Whether that is accurate or not it gave me something to work with. I vowed to get back to my roots, to my learning, from my youth onward, and to master it. I made the decision to change my thinking and to start making good things happen instead of the bad. I was going to start getting what I wanted and put an end to getting what I didn’t want.

At the same time I didn’t want to get carried away, I wasn’t interested in ringing bells, lighting candles, hugging trees or any mystical stuff! I wanted realistic, practical, life changing power without becoming a true believer or one who mediates all day but nothing changes.

I started reading again daily. I vowed to read a chapter a day from Napoleon Hill. Wallace Wattles and other inspirational authors for at least 30 days. I would fill my mind with inspirational material. This turned out to be the wisest and the very best decision I have ever made (along with choosing to have children).

Something You Can Do That Will Make A Real Difference

I began as soon as I got up in the morning. I would read. Then during the day I would again attempt to put into practice what I learned and what these authors suggested. When I could I read some more during the day or prior to bed.

This simple commitment changed my life. One month later I was on my way to being a different person. It was uphill for certain but it made the climb easier bit by bit. My attitude was improved and I felt better. I knew I could make my life better. I knew it was up to me!

The journey became more enjoyable even as it was arduous at times. I began listening to audios too. I went back into asking myself Directed  Questions™ and using affirmations correctly full time.

Day by day, minute by minute my life improved. There were times when it seemed like a long haul. There were times when shit hit the fan. There were times when I began to lose hope but I didn’t. I found a way out. I stumbled and fell but pulled myself back up again and again.

I made it a point to go back into celebration and appreciate the tough times as well as the good. Yes, I nearly gave up sometimes but being grateful for whatever I was experiencing saw me through.

Attitude And Gratitude Create Momentum

I have mentioned in previous blog posts momentum and how it can work for you or against you. I have experienced a lot of negative momentum in my life. For years now the positive momentum increases. It is such a wild joyful rife. I can literally feel it. It is so amazing!

Years later life is grand. I am pleased. I went through a rough patch for while some years ago. I got caught up for a bit, but then returned to what made a difference for me in my life. It is all good and all part of being human. I have learned to accept what is while making changes too. Sounds like a paradox but it isn’t.

I am happy. Whether the outer improves or not and it is always improving (even when it appears as if it may not be) I am very grateful and very blessed. Each moment is a moment of enjoyment and wonder. I get hooked or caught up so less frequently and if I do I account for it.

Anyone Can Do It And Succeed

I am no smarter or any more special than any one else. I have screwed up a lot in my life. I have known joys and suffering. I am just a common man on the planet BUT if I can chose to turn my life around so can anyone else. If I can do it so can you!

Anyone can change given they have reason to. If you want to you can. You can make your life wonderful. You may do it faster or slower than I did. Who cares the time it takes? What is important is to make a decision and make a commitment to and for yourself. Decide to make your life better and stick with it. Commit to it. Persist.

I have learned a better way to live. I have experienced and continue to experience a glorious way to live. I feel so blessed. BUT I didn’t always. It wasn’t until I took 100% responsibility for my life and my attitude that things transformed.

It wasn’t until I decided that I created all of my experience! When I became responsible for what I create I became free to create good things. It is the most incredible thing!

It is as if joy comes in from every direction. Yes, there are times that are more difficult but so what. There are far more times when bliss abounds. If you want a similar or even better experience than mine you can have it. I am not special in anyway. Do it today!” Rex Sikes

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HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Savor this day!

Enjoy what is glorious about you today!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others

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How To Stop Getting Screwed Over By Your Own Negativity

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eliminate blame guilt and worry

“Do you realize that you create whatever you spend your time thinking about? Whatever most occupies your attention is what you bring forth. Success of Failure in career or life is determined by your mindset. You become what you think about most often.

If most of your time is spent thinking about nothing you create nothing. If most of your time is spent in worry, fear, and doubt that is what you end up with in your lives. If you try avoiding what you don’t want you end up getting that most of the time. It just works this way.

Continued from: You Have No Idea How Negative You Are And How It Screws You Over – This is Part 2.

If you are DISTRACTED and NOT THINKING about what you want or you are thinking NEGATIVELY (disaster thinking) or THINKING about what you DON’T WANT (fear, worry, blame, whining, lack) instead of focusing on what you absolutely do want and concentrating on what you do want you aren’t going to get there.

You will get all that you don’t want instead!

You Are What You Are Not Thinking About Too

Whatever you are not thinking about you become too. If you have no predominant desire, no pursuit, then you aren’t going to make anything happen. You are drifting. You go where the wind takes you.

This is why your goals must become magnificent obsessions. You must have positive burning desires and passionate pursuits if you want career success and happiness in life. You become what you think about. Right now, your life circumstances.

You Are Where Your Thoughts Have Brought You

Your thoughts have brought you here. If you are very pleased, congratulations. If you chose to you can make it even more wonderful! If you don’t like it, hang in there, you can absolutely make it better. It is simple and it will require some dedication BUT you can make it wonderful when you chose to!

You are here because of your previous thoughts. Your thinking. You are where your thoughts brought you. This is the result. Your thoughts will take you into tomorrow. You will be wherever your thoughts take you. You can’t escape the power of your thoughts.

Let go of events, circumstances and people in the world that don’t take you where you want to go. You must not get caught up in these easy and far too frequent distractions. It does not contribute to your well being to be caught up and focused on less than glorious things.

Focus and navigate to your destination without being too concerned about the present condition of the sea. Yes, you must negotiate troubled waters but not with fear. When you travel with confidence you will get through them. Attitude determines what we think is possible. It governs what we do and don’t do.

Stop Getting Caught In Less Than Productive Thinking

Negative thinking IS getting caught in the details and worrying about how you will make it happen. It is thinking in ways that limit you. It is worrying about what might or could go wrong and how it is or isn’t happening. Negative thinking is thinking you don’t have enough knowledge, will-power, personality to make it.

It is micromanaging from fear and doubt instead of seeing the big picture. It is trying to arrange all the details and plan all the steps prior to doing anything. Negative thinking is focusing on why you can’t and how you aren’t able to get what we want.

You have to keep an eye on the big picture and the prize. You have to know, that no matter what, even if you don’t know how or have all the details yet, you can and will get through it because that is the kind of person you are. Believe in yourself. Believe you will take the right steps to make it happen. Believe you can adjust if necessary.

Trust YOU! Have faith in yourself and your abilities. Faith hones creative power to manifest what is needed at the right time, regardless of the obstacles, challengers and temporary defeat. Know you will succeed even when you aren’t sure how. Conquer your problems and your fears. Live and think as a champion.

Tomorrow You Will Be Where Your Thoughts Today Take You

How isn’t as important as the why. The method is not as important as knowing you can do it. Most people get far too caught up in details. They want tools, techniques, procedures, rules and if they can’t figure out how first then they won’t act. They wait. They procrastinate. It is not that they don’t act. IT is that they WON’T act.

They put it off hoping to figure it all out and be assured of success prior to taking a single step. It rarely, if ever, works this way. The how is never explained until after the act is completed. Edison didn’t know what would make a light bulb work until after 10,000 tries.

You won’t know the precise ‘how’ before you do it. Afterwards you might. Once he got it to work it was clear to him. Prior to that moment he just kept pursuing it until it came to him. He didn’t sit and wait. He didn’t complain and he didn’t give up.

You Can Not Escape The Results Of Your Thoughts

He kept going in spite of not knowing what the answer was. One day his mind put two and two together and he realized he needed a particular filament and a vacuum tube. He knew what he wanted and he persisted in spite of all odds.

Edison kept the faith and adjusted what he was doing as necessary. Success was assured IN HIS MIND prior to getting any actual results in the world. This is the mindset you and I and everyone needs.

You have to focus your energy and attention around something. You can’t be scattered. You can’t drift. This is why you must have know your purpose and have a positive burning desire and passionate pursuit in fulfilling it.

Your Intentional Positive Thoughts Produce Positive Results

You become what you think about. Stop worrying about how you will make it happen and focus on why it is important to make it happen. Get inspired and motivated to act. Make it your magnificent obsession and keep pursuing it and you will unleash your creativity.

If you get caught in specifics it is dull, boring and annoying. It depletes your energy. You want to keep your energy charged for accomplishing your desires. You want to enjoy life and feel your best while you make your dreams come true.

Thinking too small, having no focus, no direction, being too scattered and thinking about what you DO NOT want, is all negative thinking. Negative means it produces negative results. It does not get you closer to what you want. It produces less than glorious results. You get results other than what you intend.

That is why I call positive thinking Intentional Thinking. I think it helps describe it better.  People have come to misunderstand the notion of positive thinking. The term positive thinking carries too much baggage.

You Are A Creator Whether You Want To Be Or Not

You create what you intend to create! You even will create what you don’t intend to and that is what most people are doing. They get exactly what they don’t want to get because they are focused on what they don’t want almost exclusively.

I’ll share more in Part 3. This is why the ancient texts all the way to the New Thought Leaders point out you must make it deliberate. Creation is a deliberate act! You must be clear on what you want and determined to get it. Know what you want!

You must be emotionally involved to the utmost and have a burning desire for its completion. You must have complete faith that you will succeed no matter what the obstacles to engage your inner processes and resources to make it happen. If you do these you will have whatever you want.

Purpose, Passion, Faith And Persistence Make It Happen

This blog is a resource to help you focus and to share with you the steps you can take to get inspired, motivated and create that burning desire. I want to help you as others have helped me.

My hope is that you read, study, re-read and put into motion these time honored principles and practices that will help you be, do and have whatever you want in life. You can do it.

It isn’t magic but it is magical. There is an immense power that comes when your thoughts and words and feelings are in alignment. Life begins to work in magical ways.

You become a creative and deliberate source of positive intentional energy while at the same time trusting, allowing and knowing it is all coming together in positive ways. It is a fabulous way to live! You can be this, you can do this, you can have this! Absolutely! It is ALL up to you.” Rex Sikes

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HEADS UP!!!  Soon Daily Inspiration And Gratitude will have a new home.  A new URL, a new look and feel. All this content and new content will be delivered there. Some of you get this blog emailed to you,

I don’t know whether that will continue or not. I do know you will be able to subscribe to the blog and my new newsletter. I hope you will stay with us. I’d hate to lose you or have you miss any blog you want to receive. So will you stay with me?  I sure want you to. I’ll let you know when the change is taking place.

Meanwhile – keep subscribing and following here!!!

It is a beautiful new day Enjoy, Enjoy, Enjoy!

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Don’t Blow Your Top! Do This Instead!

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the choice to have a great attitude

“If you have ever felt like you were going to blow your top and you don’t want to you can do this to calm down. Getting angry or getting angrier may not be what is most needed in the moment and you want to be able to be productive and not lose control. How do you get a grip?

When unwanted feelings arise you need to shift into neutral, create a break state, a pause and then shift direction. It is too difficult sometimes to just change. You can steer it as in Aikido. You use the energy offered and direct it elsewhere. That is what we are doing.

You Can Easily Make Changes When You  Know How

Head on is too difficult. I have discussed why in previous blog posts. When the momentum is great it is hard to just stop it. You will need to do something first if you haven’t stopped it at the onset. That something you need to add in is the neutral, break state.

A neutral space makes making changes easier because you create a pause when you are being flooded with feelings. The key is to catch the emotional flooding right at the beginning.

This is  important. So whenever practice becoming aware at that very moment. Still, this is so powerful you can use it anytime too.

This blog is continued from previous blogs. If you have not yet read those or done the exercises please go read those first. Spend some time developing your skills through mental rehearsal and then return to this one.

Use mental rehearsal to learn what to do when unwanted feelings arise. For example, when you drive a car you know there is a neutral position on your gear shift. In essence, you always go through neutral when you shift gears and change direction.

This exercise will have you create an important neutral space from which you can more easily and readily change. You can use it any time, anywhere, whenever you feel stressed or want to change feelings or thought direction in your mind.

Rehearse And Practice The Skill To Acquire The Skill 

It is powerful and can be instantaneous. There may be times when you want to repeat it. It is simple and easy and all you have to do is remember to use it.

That is why we mentally rehearse. You travel in advance of the world so as things come up when you want to use it you will. This is the reason actors, musicians and others rehearse and athletic teams practice.

One of the most powerful tools to use when you need to change your emotional reactions so you can respond more wisely and productively is only a breath away. It is literally taking a deep breath.

A deep breath shifts so many things in your being. It changes the energy moving in your body. If you let out a sigh while breathing it is all the better. That sigh of relief, the sound accompanying  the breath, enhances relaxation.

When things are getting hot and you find yourself moving in a direction you do want engage the following.

First learn it and practice it. Then use it when every you need to. Do it in everyday life as soon as possible. It will help greatly.

You Want To Create A Space, A Pause – Take A Break

Go back to another difficult time. Mild. See the events unfold. The usual sequence of events that lead up to that point where you would have gotten angry, frustrated, fearful, worried, sad, confused, overwhelmed whatever it may be.

Watch it in your mind in your mental movie theater and when you get to that point where you would lose it STOP and watch yourself take a deep breath! Then another.

Watch yourself create space by stopping and taking a deep breath. Watch yourself shift your physiology. Shift your body, alter how you stand and move. Breathe and shift. Walk it off! Take a break from your problem.

Take a pause when things start to get critical. Everything is moving along and then suddenly you are going in a direction you don’t want. STOP, take a deep breath, shift your body, walk or do something different AND CHOOSE A POSITIVE RESOURCE.

Go through this process just as described and you watch yourself get to the point where you, would have in the past behaved in less than glorious ways only this time, see yourself stop, take a deep breath, shift your physiology and behave in the new resourceful way. From start to finish. Do you like what you see?

Adjust It As Necessary

Stop and take a deep breath and add in the new resource. Realize you have new choices available to you. You you can  walk it off right where you are. Manage you self talk. Say positive things.  Now you can respond with positive choices. Watch it to the end and then when it finishes shake it off (literally shake yourself a bit).

Once you have recoded one experience from your past then pick at least 3 more times when you have similar response. Change those in your mind. Shake it off after each repetition of the exercise. Let’s say you do one situation 3x you shake off after each time. Then you pick another time and do it 3x with shake 3x and then the last 3x 3x.

Remember to use the shake to change your physiology and end the process. Then take a moment and go back do it again.

Seeing And Hearing And Feeling On The Inside (POV)

Use the other way of seeing and experiencing.

Rerun the process from your POV. Go back and imagine it from this vantage point. From within you can feel the feelings change as you go from the beginning to the critical moment.

Just before that less than glorious eruption you say stop (inside your head) and you feel yourself take a deep breath (and another). You sigh as you let the air out.

Feel the pause or a break in the action, create space, walk it off, manage your positive self talk  and choose the resource you have been using for this.

See it, hear it, feel it! Notice how it is different. Feel the changes. Celebrate it and Live it. Then realize that is how it can be in the future. Do it again and again until you feel great about it

Then pick 3 more times when you have similar response. Change those in your mind. Remember, to shake it off after each time.

Maybe once is all you need but since we become what we think about repeat this exercise again and again. Do it daily. Remember you are learning a sequence of behaviors. You are taking charge of your mental behaviors and learning a process.

Take time to go into your past and find resources. Build your library of resources. Go  into your past difficulties and change them from being a limitation into a resource. Recode the past by applying a resource where and when it was needed. You are transforming and recoding past memories.

Do you realize this about the situation you changed? That was how it was in the past. It could have been different in the past. It wasn’t you did whatever you did  back then and that is okay. That was then and you did your best with what you knew.

It could have been a more resourceful time for you but it wasn’t. Accept it. BUT now you have just recoded it as more resourceful. You have imagined what it would have been like to have had that resource and how things could have been different.

SO stop now and  realize you can be more resourceful in the present and the future too. You have more resources you can use when you need to.

Create The Future The Way You Want It To Be

You also are a creator. You can create. You know there may be some situations in the future that could give you difficulty because they may have in the past. These are those situations that seem to happen again and again ever so often. To begin practice pick a mild one of these. Always start with mild. Now let’s recode the future too!

Imagine, in your mental movie theater that future you. Repeat the process watching it unfold up until the point where you stop, take a deep breath and change it from being a difficulty into a resourceful moment. You repeat this exercise as the previous one  doing it from start to finish and shaking it off.  Repeat 3x or more. Shake it off after each time.  Then repeat the process  from your POV.

Do this whenever you need to get some space between you and whatever is going on. Perhaps, some driver pisses you off, change it. Take a deep breath, relax slow down, enjoy the drive. Practice this it could be really important some day.

A boss or co-worker is on your back, take a deep breath, sigh and change the energy. Take a break, go to the restroom, calm down and return. Trouble with a family member or loved one. Don’t lose your cool take a breath. Anytime and anywhere this can save the moment Use it.

Re- Cap

This process allows you to recode the past and prepare for the future. During both you search for and apply resources. During both you stop, create a break state or a pause, you use your physiology differently, and you continue forward having chosen a resource.

You are always welcome to add in more than one resource. One is usually plenty, but sometimes adding in two or three presents us with even more awareness and opportunity. So feel free to repeat the exercise (just as described) only with a new and different resource each time.

You may also magnify those feeling 2, or 3 or even 5 times in intensity. It is your mind and you can ramp it up. You already know how to make things more intense in real life. We have volume controls and dials.

You turn it up or press a button. You can do the same thing within your mental movie theater. Re-live it from your point of view  and enhance and amplify the wonderful feelings! You know when you have had some energy and when you have been super charged. Pick the more intense examples to use.

Use It And Transform Your LIfe

In the real world you will behave and act more productively as this a becomes habit. Take the time to practice and make it automatic. In the coming days if you have an episode and you respond in the new way, positively, fantastic!

If you don’t and you loose control, no worries!  Everyone of us can slip and fall now and then. Pat yourself on the back for becoming aware. Recognize what happened, what you might have done differently, and immediately do the mental exercise for how you’d like to be next time.

Get feedback from the situation, learn from it and continue your practice. What is awesome about the human mind is that you might start off spending 20 or 30 minutes a day, practicing for a month or more to make it a habit.

During this time frame you may be using it too. I hope so! Eventually, you will be do it in less time inside your head. Then even less time. Before long you will run the process in seconds in real life whenever you need to.

Regarding learning and practicing new skills. A flower it takes time to grow. So does a new skill. Stick with it. As you resolve these situations pick other people or situations where you don’t respond as you would like to and work on those too.

Use It Or Lose It

Soon you will have re-coded and re-routed lots of difficult situations. You will have used your mind to change your behaviors. You have taken charge so enjoy it! Celebrate it and validate it.

Any time you fall, get back up, learn from it and do the new behavior in your mind a more productive way. Recognize what you don’t want but stop focusing on it. Drop it and focus on what you do want instead. Remember, we get what we think about most!

Don’t wallow about  the old address. You have moved to a new location. Aim your mind in the direction of the new one.

It’s simple to understand, You practice and rehearse what you want for the future. You use your mind the way an actor or athletic team uses rehearsal or practice time. In your mind you act as if you have all the resources you need in any situation. You imagine and act how you want to be.

Our mind doesn’t know the difference between a mental images and images seen through our eyes. That is why this works. We can create a new self image and practice new behaviors. The more you rehearse and practice the better you get.  The better you get with it the more you get it in your real life

Use these processes to overcome your difficulties, and learn new ways to be. You can and will transform your life positively if you want to.

What you rehearse, fill your mind with, think about and focus on for most of your time expands. You get and become what you think about. Use your mental movie theater to bring you all sorts of wonderfulness now and in the future! Enjoy making your life more the way you want it to be.  Be grateful and be glad! More to come!” Rex Sikes

Use today to live a new way!

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Do You Ever Get Hooked Bad? How To Get Unhooked!

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“What do you do when you get caught up? Something happens and it bursts your positive bubble. Your momentum is thrown off, the apple cart upset. How do you react? How should you? How could you? Is there a better way to behave when when s–t hits the fan?

First,  to ‘get caught up’ is an apt description. We get caught, hooked just like a fish. We think things are great and the next thing you know we swallowed a big hook. That sucks! What do we do?

We do whatever it is we do. Nature takes its course. We may get angry even while knowing it would be best not to. We may do things against our better judgement and against our own best interests. It happens. Sometimes we react without thinking and sometimes we react while thinking we ought to be doing something else.

We are hot and bothered but not in the good way. We are hurting, angry, scared, lashing out. We are desperate and convinced the world is ending or at least turing bad on this very point. We are absolutely hooked and we are reacting automatically. Again, we are caught up in it.

Whatever it is triggered a response from us. An unwanted, painful uncomfortable response. Maybe we yelled at ourselves. Perhaps, we shouted at a loved one or co-worker. We created pain for others too. Why not? Maybe they hurt us first? Right? Wrong!

Nothing justifies a poor, bad or negative reaction. There is no excuse for yelling at ourself or others. However, if that is what happen that is what happened. I will come back to this in a moment. The first thing is to acknowledge, whenever you become aware, is that you reacted as you did. Accept responsibility and realize you did as you did.

The truth is you went haywire. You lost control. You fought or fought back. Whatever it is accept it. There are consequences to our actions. For every cause there is an equal and opposite effect. You may have started other wheels spinning or like dominos you just knocked over the very first one.

Ok, that is what was, and what might be. First, accept responsibility without blaming yourself for your reaction. YOU reacted. YOU lost control. Sad to say so but that is what happened. Accept it without shaming yourself. That won’t help you end that issue.

Accept you behaved poorly, acknowledge it, and turn your attention to how you could have behaved or responded better or more appropriately. What could you have done differently, even though you didn’t?

Figure out what the most positive response is that could benefit everyone in a positive and productive way. How might you have behaved that could have kept things in check (possibly) instead of them rampaging out of control?

In order to behave better in the future you have to know what behavior you want instead. YOU just got slammed right in the face big time with the behavior you don’t want. Consider it a godsend. Pretend someone somewhere, the universe is sending you an incredible message and opportunity.

Your hot, negative, unwanted thoughts, feeling and behaviors are all exactly what you don’t want. Hopefully, the messenger gets through because the messenger tells you, ‘okay that happened, own up to it, make restitution, and NOW focus on what you DO want instead.’

You reacted instead of responded. You reacted to whatever the circumstances dictated and you fell victim to it. Hey, we all do it so blame is not the name of this game. Get over yourself. Determine your positive course, the positive thoughts, feelings, behaviors and results you want in your future instead.

The first key in getting unhooked is to notice that YOU got hooked. Then, once you notice it, you do what you need to to get unhooked. In the human’s case we need to focus on what we want and where we want to end up instead. We want more productive responses next time.

There are many ways to do this I will discuss in future blogs. We can use our imagination, our internal movie theater, self-talk, affirmations, Directed Questions™ and more for just this sort of thing.

My point is this: We evolve ourselves. In evolution somethings take time. Some things take repeated examples or exposures. Some lessons it seems we have to learn again and again until we eventually get it. AND THAT IS OKAY! That is just the way it is.

We may want it to be different. We may wish it were like all the promises the media makes for instant relief and magic gadgets but life is more like a flowering garden. Beautiful things just take some time to appear. We grow, adapt, and evolve.

So again no blame, no shame. The best thing you can do is acknowledge your reaction and pat yourself on the back and hope you will notice the next ones too. Praise yourself not for your reaction but for you becoming aware that you reacted and were focused on what you did not want. This provides you a choice point and the opportunity to change.

This increases the likelihood  that you will become aware and notice quicker in future episodes because you aren’t punishing yourself. No one likes that. Well, at least fewer people do. Awareness is the doorway that opens for you to find new opportunity. Validate your awareness and it willingly works to benefit you.

Determine to respond better in the future. Again, I’ll share more later but if you read my blog regularly there are lots of tips and secrets and practices and principles you can apply right now to begin doing that.

Own your reaction. Take responsibility. Make an apology genuinely and promise to never do that again. Do whatever must be done to correct any wrong doing or harm. Help provide healing. Sometimes that means walking away too and leaving the other person alone if they request that. Be respectful!

That last point is an important one for behavior in the world. Walk away.

‘When we ‘react’ it causes pain because it is a ‘knee jerk’. It means we have no choice. We actually do have choice but it happens so fast or things start snowballing out of control that it seems as if we don’t and we can’t help it.

We always have choice and the choice point is right smack in the beginning. Something happens outside of us or within us to set it off. Things start happening. There is actually a sequence. It may seem one moment we are fine and the next we flew of the handle but there is an actual sequence of events that happen in real time.

Neurons fire. Neural pathways are activated. Signals are sent Hormones and chemicals are released. Our body is preparing for FIGHT OR FLIGHT!

In jungle days with real world predators we needed this to run very fast or fight very strong to survive. We need it much more rarely in our modern world and we don’t need it when most arguments ensue.

BUT IT IS THERE anyway. To serve us. Because we think we are being threatened when in fact we are, but not in that life-threatening way. We need to learn to better respond and adapt to our circumstances than be walking around as jungle cave people in the 21st century. Don’t you think?

Because there is a sequence it takes time. YES, it happens very fast. REALLY  really fast. BUT you can still catch it. THAT is precisely why we want to encourage our awarenesses. We want to become aware as it is happening that there is something WE CAN DO instead.

We can actually divert the behavior into new more productive behaviors and new neural pathways.

We just have to catch the moment first. AT the very instant of the trigger, we are caught unawares, and then the body takes over and begins to release chemicals. As these chemicals and the neurons begin traveling their routes we feel the changes.

Maybe we get ‘hot under the collar’ or ‘red in the face’ maybe we ‘see red’ or feel tension increase. Anything, any way you describe it, is possible.

The point is to become aware as this happens. As the chemicals release its called Emotional Flooding. We get flooded with feelings and sensations. IF we notice them, again the reason awareness is important, we can change them right then. We have this choice brief choice point to give us time or room to respond differently.

Imagine for a moment you are at the top of a hill with a huge boulder. You are in front of it. It begins to roll down hill. ALL you have to do is put your arm out and you can stop it from rolling. You really can. The reason you can stop it is that it just began. You caught it right in the beginning.

It didn’t have time to build momentum. Had you been four or five feet away, or ten or more you would not be able to stop it at all. You would have to jump aside. It has too much momentum by then. It is the same with our emotions flooding us. If we catch them right at the beginning we can be different. IT can be different.

This flooding seems fast and is because the neural pathways have been traveled countless times before. They are well worn and utilized. In order to change we have to provide new pathways. It will take awhile for them to get well worn in too. Still, we do have choice.

Awareness is the first step. The second is to decide to choose what else to do instead. One of the best things to make habit is to take a very deep breath. Breath. Breath again. Breathing helps to change what is happening in the body. So does pacing or walking as long as you don’t use the walking to build momentum.

Take a deep breath. Change your body posture. Move, walk, don’t remain in the same place. Keep breathing slowly. EMT’s are known to have a person walk off the adrenaline when in an accident or a near miss.

When the flooding happens people get jittery as the chemical floods into the system. You can’t get rid of it, you can’t just dump it. but you can use it in a managed activity. Walking. You could skip or dance but on the street they also are concerned with safety. So move calmly and breath to better utilize what the body is giving you.

Take a breath. Create that pause in the flood. Use your own body to stop the momentum and you prevent the emotional boulder from shooting down the hill. You can stop the flooding. It can be done. You divert it into a more productive and less destructive path.

Choice is important. When you make a decision you can change your thoughts and feelings to respond in a more beneficial manner for yourself and others. You can choose to walk away from the fight.

It may not seem like it now but you really can. You can choose to do nothing at all. It does not, necessarily, require that anything be done just because you got hot.

When you create the pause, the gap, that room, you can begin to see that this is true. You don’t have to continue on you can respond differently!

The only way to decide differently is to create that space by making the pause happen. You create the pause, which slows the flood, you positively manage the resulting emotions converting them into other relaxed responses. You get your head clear.

You are creating new neural pathways. You are changing the old route to a new one. The result is the same as when you moved to a new residence. You have a different address. You end up in a different place.

You pause, (breath and move and continue to) you relax, let go, and continue as needed. You direct your mind to more useful places, thoughts and behaviors (Directed Questions™ were created for this).

YOU chose a new more productive, positive, useful response. It could be anything. As long as it isn’t the old one and it is positive and constructive you are doing yourself a great service.

You have just stopped the emotional flooding, got unhooked and created a new neural pathway to travel to a new address. Fantastic! Celebrate and be grateful!

Appreciate that you have taken control instead of being a victim of your own chemistry and emotions. You determined you were going to re-route them. Pat yourself on the back!

Just as when you actually move from one address to a new address you may, from time to time, discover yourself taking the old way to the old home. This can happen with behaviors too. In time, by taking the new route to the new place enough times you make it a well worn pathway.

You have lost nothing. You can still always find your way to the former residence, if you were to choose to. You haven’t lost anything, you aren’t deprived of anything. What changed is you have a new, more useful productive, constructive pathway to a beautiful new residence.

Travel there happily. You find you don’t even think about the old route but you could if you wanted to. How cool is all of this? Pretty wonderful, if you ask me. You always have choices available.

In the next blog I will share with you  a ways to wire this in. The one after that I’ll discuss developing a new mindset to give yourself new choices. Meanwhile celebrate and enjoy!” Rex Sikes

Find delight in your day and night!

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Perhaps The Most Important Question You Ever Ask Yourself

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“As a young actor, with my buddies at the time, we entertained a question. Turns out it is a very important question. At the time we only gave lip service to it but didn’t ask it in our hearts. Maybe the others did but I certainly didn’t. It was nothing more to me than a mere intellectual curiosity.

That question was and is, ‘If your success were absolutely guaranteed 25 or more years from now. Without question, you would be then a huge star. You would have everything you want. It is yours. How would you live your life between now and then?’

(Okay – housekeeping note – this is a long one. But do please read to the end. I didn’t want to divide it into installments as I could have.)

Most of us assumed we would stay in workshops and continue the pursuit. Then after discussing the question we continued to do what a lot of actors and others do. We went on complaining about our agents, managers, the casting directors who weren’t seeing us and all the producers and directors who were missing out on our great talents.

We went to classes, those who had part time jobs did them, others worked full time while trying to pursue a career. Some married and with children some without. Juggling a career in the movie business with partner, kids and job can be quite a challenge. Being single, lonely and alone is challenging too.

It is hard in show biz and you know what, it is hard in any career. Becoming an actor, film director, producer, writer, editor and all the rest it’s tough to get in and it is tough to sustain. There is no formula you can follow out of college. Everyone succeeds is an individually unique way.

While traditional businesses offer more provincial routes to success it is not easy there either. Whether you want to be a doctor, lawyer, politician, engineer, realtor, investor, banker, fireman, educator and on and on each has there own share of difficulty and sacrifices that require making.

So back to the question regardless of what career you are in or which one you want to be in. Back to the question even if it isn’t a career that concerns you but life in general. “What would you do if happiness and success were absolutely guaranteed but not for a very long time from now? How would you live between now and then?’

Here is the reason I ask. In order to succeed in anything, the easiest way is to believe you will succeed. You have to know what you want, you have to have a burning desire for its fulfillment and you have to have faith that it is yours and on the way.

You must believe you can make it happen. These were conditions and principles put forth by Andrew Carnegie (at one time the world’s richest man) and through Napoleon Hill (the author of Think & Grow Rich) commissioned by Carnegie to study success.

Hill stated that, ‘whatever the mind of can conceive and believe can be achieved’. It begins with thought and how we manage our thought. It is brought forth by our intense feelings, our passion and desire for its attainment.

It is delivered through unrelenting faith that we will succeed no matter what obstacles rise up before us. It is ours and we will persist until we can claim it.

Said another way, ‘What we hold in our head we will some day hold in our hands’, and ‘What we think about we bring about’. I would add in, ‘what we totally feel in our hearts, all the incredible feelings’ puts the fuel in our engines to get us where we want to go.

Great, we know the formula. What does that have to do with the question. The question is what do you do between now and then when success is unconditionally guaranteed? If you believe that is true, which I did not as a young actor, I thought it was a nice, fanciful idea but nothing is guaranteed, you will operate in a particular way.

You will live from this conviction and it will shape everything you think and do. If you unquestionably know it is yours you live with the confidence that you will have it. It feels good to own it even if it takes a while to claim it. It is yours. It is a given. You are successful and happy. Why would you ever let anything rain on your parade in the meantime?

You have everything you want coming to you. Celebrate and be glad. If you compare now to then and you focus on what you don’t yet have then you get pain and end up in a world of hurt. THAT is what I did. I thought, nice idea but I am suffering and I need it now. You must not think like that!

You must focus on what you want and what you know is coming your way and not on what you don’t want and don’t have.

You will never be happy or successful focused on negativity. You won’t get rich focused on lack. You get happy and rich and successful by first being those on the inside. If you knew ultimately you would triumph why would you ever chose not to live like a successful, happy victor? You wouldn’t if you were convinced you would be, do and have everything you want.

That is Carnegie’s and Hill’s third principle. In order to be successful you must expect to be successful. You must know it in your mind and heart and soul and in every fiber of your being. You must be unstoppable and never deterred.

Every cell, every atom in you knows you will win. This is the mindset we must have to have what we want.

you atract what you focus on

Instead, I focused on my bills, girlfriends or no girlfriends, not having the big home or cars as others did. I focused more on how I wasn’t working enough and how unfair it was that others got breaks that I didn’t. On and on and on it went. I was consumed by all the woe in my life. Whether actual or imagined.

So the question was posed, I thought about it and dismissed it as a curiosity. Nice to entertain but unrealistic. Yet, later I learned that Hill studied over 500 of the wealthiest, most successful powerhouses of his day and that since his work others have done similar and guess what.

Carnegie and Hill were correct. You have to know what you want. You have to feel it as already belonging to you.  You have to know this and want it and feel it coming to you with your entire being! You must keep that faith. In the future you are already victorious! You will have everything you want when you truly believe it.

Decades ago I would have called that magical or mystical,fairytale thinking. Nice but cheesy. NOW I know so much better how true it actually it is.  It has worked in my own life and continues to and I have seen it work, and helped make it work in countless others’ lives.

When we know what we want we determine where we want to end up. We know what the end result is. We do not yet have to know how to get there but we must know what we want to be, do and have. If we don’t define it and clarify it there is nothing to aim at. The mind needs a well defined clear target.

We must feel it with a burning desire. If we don’t want if very much we won’t do very much to make it happen. We will be lazy and accept whatever. We will drift and not amount to much of anything.

Think about all those romance movies where the valiant swashbuckling hero has to overcome all sorts of tremendous odds in order to win the lady’s heart. He has to win her, overcome insurmountable odds and difficulties and make it back to claim her love.

He has to really want her to fight for her all the way! He has to know that he will fight to the death and come away winning her hand or he is not all in. You must be all in. You must be passionately and wholly committed. You can’t play half assed and expect to win the prize.

WHY? because with a clear target and positive powerful emotions your brain then totally gets it. There is no question about what it is you desire. It is completely clear. Message received!

In order to keep the mind on track you have to stay on target. That is where faith and feelings come in. You have to feel it is yours. You deserve it. It is yours no question.

There are no doubts, no worry, no fears. It is only a matter of time that this or something better will be fulfilled. You are all in and will never give up no matter what.

Now your brain goes to work for you. It makes connections, associations, organizes and utilizes  all your resources and abilities to help you make it happen. You become confident in yourself, positive and powerful.

You trust yourself to make it happen. Where there is will there is a way. You are a champion, of course you will triumph! There is no other outcome that could happen. Your success is guaranteed!

Your mind is alerted to possibilities and opportunities. You become sensitized to these in the same way as when you purchase a new car and suddenly, notice all the same make and model on the streets. You look for opportunity and discover them where none seemed to previously exist.

You find yourself drawn to likeminded positive successful people. You discover events and circumstances working for you. Obstacles and challenges provide lessons which you extract, and you adapt and adopt and continue to move forward.

If you know success is yours you let nothing stand in the way. You know that ultimately nothing can or will prevent you from claiming what it is you want. You are already a success within!

So while it may sound like magic this is what we have learned from successful people during the past century and from well beyond that. This is how the kings and rulers think. This is how those born to wealth and privilege think. This is how the successful shakers and doers think. Their mindset paves the way for the results they want to achieve. ‘As above so below. As within so without.’

It is true there are some of trust fund babies who squander their good fortune and make a mess of their lives. By far the majority of successful people will, IF THEY WANT YOU TO KNOW IT, tell you they always knew they would do well and succeed at whatever they wanted. There was NEVER any question. NEVER ANY QUESTION!

For the rest of us we need to cultivate this mindset. We weren’t born into circumstances where we grew up knowing one day all this would be ours. We didn’t have a life where money was no object.

Anything and everything at anytime could be had for a price and we could afford it. We didn’t live this way. Good or bad, right or wrong, thankfully or not we have to develop the winner attitude on our own.

desire backed by faith

The greatest news for human kind may be that it is ABSOLUTELY POSSIBLE to do! WE CAN DO IT! We can change our lot in life by taking control of our thoughts and feelings and we can begin getting the results we want, and may have always wanted.

THIS is why it is true that the past does not equal the future because no matter what failure, heartbreak or disappointment you may have had in the past YOU CAN RIGHT NOW CHANGE IT FOR THE BETTER!

The decision is yours. You can blow it off as I did the question or you can decide now to turn your life around and start getting everything you deserve. You can live abundantly without having to deprive anyone else of anything too. You can make your dreams come true.

The decision is yours. The time is now. It is a journey but a worthwhile one and the true value of which you will only know once you get on the road. Become unstoppable. Become convinced that you will be, have and do everything you want.

Put these practices to work and discover what I and countless others have discovered, and are discovering. This mind stuff works!!! It absolutely, truly does! There is amazing, dynamic energy and power in a committed, firm decision. It may be unlike anything you have ever experienced up until now.

If you are like some people you may have to get close to hitting bottom before you act in your own best interests. I was like that. The painful signal value had to be really loud, strong and hurtful to get my attention.

If you are like some others, you see the value of an opportunity as it is presented to you. You can make the decision without having to suffer.

Sadly, there will be those, in both groups who do nothing because they simply don’t know any better. That was me too. I couldn’t see opportunity when presented, I was suspicious. I didn’t know enough consider something as that question worthy of my attention so blew it off.

Then I had to let life circumstances and my own negative and bad feelings get strong enough to make me exclaim, ‘I don’t want to live like this anymore! I must do something.’ I began to search.

THIS is what I found. Even then, I dabbled. I dipped my toes in. I went a way for a few years but I kept encountering myself again and again in less than glorious ways. Finally, I decided, ‘I really can’t live this way. I have to change and I will do whatever is required to change it!’ In that moment, I became freer.

I decided I was 100% responsible for anything and everything that happened to me. I would be a victor and a champion. I would fill my mind with positive thoughts and my being with positive glorious feelings.

If I fell I would commit to getting up. If I didn’t feel like it I would forge ahead anyway. There were many times I fell and countless times I didn’t feel like it.

Bottom line: If I can do this ANYONE else in the world can do this too. I am not special, I am not smarter, I am no one at all, just another person on a journey. I committed to it and change began happening.

Slowly, no evidence at all that anything was changing, but in time I felt better. No miracles, nothing. Shit still hit the fan. At first, I was confused and wondered why bad things were still happening but I soon learned it was my response to situations that made the difference. Wondering why only threw me back into negativity.

I learned I had to manage my thinking and steer it back to what I wanted and to focus on what I now have and what I am creating for the future. I have to and had to apply these principles repeatedly to make them a habit.

I was used to doing things other ways before so I had to learn the new ways and make these automatic, AS automatic, as the old ways of doing things. Once that happens it does get easier and easier.

Eventually, I began to notice, not only feeling better and better as a result of my mind, feelings and life becoming more positive, but small wins. Little things, positive things began happening more and more frequently and as they did I felt grateful and celebrated all I could. Gratitude opens a doorway to let so much more come in!

More wins, eventually, bigger wins. The seed sprouted, the tiny plant grows before becoming big and strong. Even more. The feelings and thoughts and results I were getting fed each other. As I felt better more things good seemed to happen. As more good things happened the better I felt. It is as if I can’t separate the two. It is quite glorious!

YET, still there are challenges and that is absolutely okay. I learn from them. I am resolved to being a life long learner. One can’t know everything. So I learn from opportunity and challenges alike. It is so wonderful!

I still fall and I get back up. Not each one is easy to get back up from but it is far easier than before. There is just no way to share how incredible this all is in my life. Words just don’t seem adequate. You really have to experience it for yourself as countless, COUNTLESS others have.

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Countless, but the number is far smaller than those who won’t. That is truly sad. They are used to doing things the way they have been doing them. A wise old friend spoke these words, ‘I am awakened, it is true. Once I slept but I awoke and it is glorious. You are sleeping now but one day you too will awaken. That is just how it is.’

We are ready when we are ready. No blame, no excuses, nothing. We come to change in our own time. I love my life and I didn’t always feel that way. I love it and adore it. Funny, but as I typed these words I just had an agent phone me to come in for a call back in two days.

Make your dreams come true. Commit to yourself and making your world better. When you do you find you also want everyone else to have a better world too. Great things await you if you will only claim them and make them yours. If you haven’t already done so do it today!” Rex Sikes

Make today incredible!

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